A/N: Okay, this is the first chapter of a threeshot, and is the result of an ask sent by one of my followers on AO3 and Tumblr. It takes place after "Kiki Naegi's First Birthday." Please read and review, and enjoy!

The Ultimate Detective and The Ultimate Hope Gaiden: The Ultimate Inventor Meets the Ultimate Mechanic!

Chapter One: Miu Needs a Mechanic!

"Ugh…" Miu groaned as she sat at the nearby lunch table occupied by Komaru and Ibuki.

One wouldn't think that the vulgar Miu would mesh well at all with the survivor of Towa City and the former Ultimate Musician. Yet Ibuki found Miu's vulgarity endearing due to her love of punk. Komaru meanwhile had bonded with Ibuki over their shared respect for Sayaka Maizono's music. As a result, Ibuki managed to convince her to befriend Miu, despite what she had heard about the inventor's advances on her brother during her interview.

"Hey, Iruma, what's the matter?" Ibuki asked. "Your mojo is like, waaay down!"

"Not in the mood, Mioda." Miu grumbled as she began to pick at her lunch.

"…I'll let that slide since I can see you're clearly having a bad day." Komaru told the grumpy inventor. "Iruma, believe it or not, we're only trying to help you. So if something's wrong, it's better to just tell us."

"Yeah, let us be your backup in this three woman band!" Ibuki encouraged, which caused Komaru to sweatdrop.

"…Fine…" Miu sighed before she explained "My equipment is faulty, okay? It seems like every time I try to use the damn machines during class, they always fall the fuck apart!"

"I see…" Komaru suggested "But, couldn't you just fix it?"

"Fuckin' virgin, have you lost your eggs? I'm an Ultimate Inventor, not an Ultimate Mechanic! I don't even fix my own inventions; every time one of them becomes defective, I just throw it in the trash like a broken vibrator and start from scratch." Miu sighed and lamented "It's all the school's fault for giving me such faulty equipment. If only they'd give me an Ultimate Mechanic to fix my shit."

Komaru and Ibuki glanced at each other before Komaru nodded and they turned back to face Miu.

"…What…?" Miu asked as she saw them stare at her. "Stop staring at me like you're undressing me and just say something!"

Komaru began "Well, it turns out that Mioda knows an Ultimate Mechanic."

"Shut the fuck up!" Miu exclaimed as Ibuki grinned.

"Yeah, he totally rocks at what he does too! Plus he's employed here at Hope's Peak. The instruments he makes for my class totally amplify the sound waves!"

Miu slammed her hands on the table and stood up with an excited grin.

"You mean this school has an Ultimate Mechanic? Then take me to him and introduce me to the man! There's no way he'd refuse a buxom beauty like me! Ahahaha!"

The two girls sweatdropped as they thought in unison Shikata wa nai… before they stood up and abandoned their lunches to take Miu to meet the answer to her problems.

XXX

"Hey, Kazuichi!" Ibuki called out, which made the mechanic drop his wrench and cover his ears along with Komaru and Miu.

"Ibuki, what have I told you about your volume when you're calling my name?" Kazuichi complained as he kneeled down to pick up his wrench.

"Oops, sorry. Ibuki forgot." The former musician giggled sheepishly as Komaru and Miu sweatdropped. "Anyways, I wanted to introduce you to someone."

"Oh, yeah?" Kazuichi asked as he stood up and turned around. "Who…is…tha…" He trailed off as he stared at the blond-haired inventor in front of him. Stars appeared in his eyes as the awestruck mechanic gushed "Oh, Kami! I can't believe it you're Iruma-sama! Miu Iru…" Kazuichi forced himself to stop and coughed into his fist as a faint blush painted his cheeks pink before he apologized "My bad, I got a little overexcited."

"Ah, don't worry about it." Miu assured him with a grin. "It's only natural you'd daydream about my big buxom boobs and lust for my gorgeous golden brain! Ahahaha!"

"Hey!" Kazuichi stammered "I wasn't daydreaming! Or lusting!"

"Oh yeah?" Miu exclaimed as she pointed at him and accused "Then why is your dick all hard in that flexible jumpsuit?"

"It is NOT hard!" Kazuichi defended as he thought Man, I can't believe I admired this girl! She gives Teruteru a run for his money!

This is bad… Komaru and Ibuki thought as they watched the argument play out in front of them.

Komaru stepped in and interrupted "Ano…Soda-kun. We came because Iruma-chan needs your help."

"Huh? She wants my help?" Kazuichi shook his head and denied "No way am I helping such a vulgar slut!"

"S…slut…?!" Miu whimpered, tears suddenly threatening to trickle from her eyes.

What the hell? She's crying?! Well, at least she has a sense of shame… Kazuichi sighed before he apologized "Hey, don't cry. Look, I'm sorry I called you a slut. You said you needed my help?"

As Miu sniffled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, Komaru explained "Iruma-chan is an IT teacher and technician here at Hope's Peak."

"Whoa, are you kidding me?!" Kazuichi exclaimed "Why didn't I know about this?"

Probably because he knew you'd go all fanboy on her… Komaru deadpanned before she explained "Well, given how you two work totally different jobs, I'm not surprised you never crossed paths before."

"Oh, right, my bad…" Kazuichi chuckled sheepishly.

"Anyways…" Ibuki explained "Iruma here needs your totally rockin' mechanic skills!"

Miu nodded, having collected herself, and explained "My teaching equipment has been breaking down all the time, and I may be the world's best inventor, but I can't fix anything to save my life. Ibuki mentioned she knew an Ultimate Inventor here, so I was wondering…could you maybe…come and fix my equipment?"

Kazuichi grinned and agreed "Sure, leave it to me! If it's a machine, I can fix it in no time!"

Miu grinned and exclaimed "Fuckin' fantastic! I'll meet you inside the cafeteria after school and show you to my classroom. Then you can fix all my jack shit junk. If you do a really good job, maybe I'll let you try out some of my more personal inventions. Ahahaha!"

The others sweatdropped as Miu turned around and sauntered out before Kazuichi thought And we were just starting to get along too…

Komaru smiled sympathetically and apologized "Sorry about her…Iruma-chan can be…"

Kazuichi smiled understandingly and assured her "Ah, it's not really a big deal. She's no worse than Teruteru, though I don't know if she's better either. And it's my job to fix the school's tech anyway, so I'd probably have to fix it eventually anyway."

Komaru nodded before she remembered "Oh, Mioda-chan, our lunches are gettign cold."

"Oh yeah, you're right! I can't teach music class on an empty stomach! Sorry KAzuichi, but we have to go."

"Okay, have a good lunch, ladies." Kazuichi replied as the girls waved at him and left.

Once they were gone, Kazuichi sighed and got back to work, dreading his next encounter with his former idol.