Chapter 13: Little Trip

Bella POV:

´Took you long enough,´ he said annoyingly.

´I saw something I like.´ I was out of breath, barely able to swim next to him. He was just so extremely fast, I should have known. He was very tall, lean and muscular, meanwhile, I didn't exercise at all due to my two left feet. Not a fair game! And I didn't want him to know I was checking him out, so I had to think fast about a possible explanation.

´Remember that milkshake place I've told you about? I had to see if it's still there. And it is, so after our swim let's go there? Please?´ A strong answer, I was very pleased with myself.

´Bells, you´re weak. Wanna race me to the buoy?´ Jacob yelled back at me, ready for another unfair little race.

´Absolutely not,´ I yelled back. ´Let's just enjoy the water.´

Jacob swam back to me and we were floating a little bit while enjoying the water. It was such a calm little moment. Next to us, people were screaming at each other, they were swimming or they were building sandcastles. But right here, right now, Jake and I were just enjoying each other's company. We closed our eyes, looked at the sun ahead of us and calmly let us be floated by the waves.

´You were right,´ I heard him say next to me.

´I usually am, but about what this time?´

I looked at him and he rolled his eyes at me.

´Ha-ha. You must be the funniest person ever, Bells. But you were right about Jacksonville. It's so calming right here. I feel so at ease.´ He continued to smile at the sun.

´I know exactly what you´re talking about. I feel the same way,´ I responded. Even though I love Forks with a passion, I´ve lived in warmer climates before and even though I can't seem to sunbathe properly, I still enjoy the sun a lot. I´m at ease right now and I just feel my muscles relax more and more each second.

´Good.´

´Good?´ I glanced over to look at Jacob again. I didn't understand his response directly. He avoided my eyes before he took a deep breath and looked straight at me. He gave me a little smile, but it did not reach his eyes. He looked sad as if he didn't know how to address the next subject. I had a gut feeling that I knew exactly what we were going to talk about right now.

´You know, with everything going on at home. I figured it would be nice to get away from it all.´

I was right, we were going to talk about Edward. I figured I needed to give him some sort of explanation for my behaviour, but I didn't want to do that right here. Here, I wanted to enjoy the piece. Here, I was in my second best happy place.

The thought of Edward and I, laying next to each other in the beautiful little meadow that he once showed me while he explained his vampire ways came back to mind. We had spent countless afternoons there ever since. It was the most beautiful little scenery and the one place in the whole wide world where I felt truly at ease, at home. Just laying there, talking with Edward, looking at him, looking at his dashingly crooked little grin that made my heart do wild things, it was heaven.

But now, it was also hell. I haven't been back since. And the thought about it alone hurts like hell. He left. He left me for six months until he came back. Out of nowhere actually. What was I to make of that?

´Not right now, okay? We´ll discuss it over milkshakes,´ I said. This was now my happy place and I didn't want to ruin it. Jacob agreed and we spent the next half hour just enjoying the scenery.

All good things must come to an end, and I did promise to tell Jacob about Edward over milkshakes, so eventually, we left the water. We dried up a little bit and put on our clothes again.

We walked over to a very small American diner. The interior was a mixture of a lot of bright pastel colours, mixed with black and white menu cards. You could for example already get cavities by just looking at it, since everything screamed ´guilty pleasure´. We glanced over the tables outside to see where we could sit.

Luckily, a couple just left so we could sit by a table in the shadows. The sun was heating up and the little cooling sensation of the shadows was very welcoming. I let myself think for a second that I could have never done this with Edward. The sunlight would expose his sparkling skin, and we would have never been able to swim in daylight together. Pushing that thought out of my brain, both Jacob and I ordered a vanilla milkshake with extra whipped cream, and Jacob turned to face me.

´You don't have to tell me, Bella,´ he started.

´No Bells this time?´ I tried to lighten the mood. He didn't respond and continued to stare at me. Eventually, I gave in.

´Fine, fine. I´ll guess I owe you a proper explanation for the way I´ve been treating you in that phone call at home. I was indeed on edge. Can we keep it at that?´

I almost pleaded. I really didn't want to talk about Edward anymore, the hurt in my heart was the direct result of that. Jacob was silent for a moment, debating whether or not to accept my proposal. His brow furrowed in sudden annoyance.

´Depends. I´m afraid you´re still ¨on edge¨ as you called it,´ he reached out to grab my hand, tenderly stroking his thumb over my knuckles to calm me, I guess. At that moment, our milkshakes arrived.

´Ah, young love,´ our waiter said as he put the two vanilla milkshakes on our table. That statement bothered me. It hit a nerve, as I felt my muscles getting more and more tense each second. How dare that waiter insinuate Jacob and I were a thing? How dare Jacob insinuate I´m still on edge, don't I have every right to be? And speaking of Jake, how dare he grab my hand in public? He must have seen the angry look on my face, as he quickly said;

´Don´t keep it bottled up, let it all out.´

Oh well, he was asking for it anyway. I removed my hand from his grip and started;

´Yes, I´m on edge. Happy now? And I have every right to be, Jake. Just so you know, Edward dumped me six months ago and then he left me. And now he's back, telling me he lied six months ago and practically begging me to forgive him. To take him back. And I have to see him every day. You have no idea how on edge I am and how hard it is for me´ I took a sip of my milkshake to calm myself a little bit before I continued;

´And I´m really sorry I took it out on you, I really am. But damn it, Jake, Edward returning makes me so angry.´ I looked up and saw Jacob smiling at me, drinking a bit of his milkshake as well.

´Took you long enough, Bells.´

´What are you talking about?´

He licked a bit of whipped cream from his upper lip before he answered.

´Bells, I know you. I know you were on edge. You needed to vent and I´m happy you could do that just now. You kept everything bottled up, pretending everything was fine. But in reality, just as you said, you have every right to be angry right now. And I don´t mind you taking it out on me. I can handle it,´ he winked at me.

´So what are you going to do about him?´

I was taken aback by that question since I didn´t know for sure myself. What am I going to do about Edward? Ignoring him seemed like a valuable option. I didn't want to talk to him anymore, afraid of all the lies he would feed me. And I could not deny the hold he still had over me, and the longing I´ve felt to be near him again. But on the other hand, I could also not ignore the fact that he left, just like that. So all in all, ignoring him seemed like my best option.

´I will ignore him. And he will ignore me. That would be the best outcome.´ I was determined to do that. Sadly, that wasn´t the answer Jake wanted to hear as he continued with his large brown eyes fixated on mine, his face cupped into his hand, getting closer to me as he bent over the table;

´But he wants you back, how's that?´

I rolled my eyes at him. He must know me better than that!

´I don´t care,´ I said as convincingly as possible. ´He can't just decide to want me back, right here and right now. I also have a say in that. I´m not some toy that you can throw away now, and six months later you want to play again. I don´t trust him right now. So I don't want him.´ I ended my outburst with a smile and a large sip of milkshake. It felt great letting it all out on Jake. I´ve felt so… light right now. So at ease. I guess the saying is true when you share your sorrows with someone, the sorrows will lessen.

´I hear you loud and clear. So if anyone else comes and sweeps you off your feet?´ he asked while tilting his head back to laugh a bit harder.

´If mister Right present himself right in front of me with a ribbon on his neck, I might take him up on his offer. But I´m so mad at Edward right now, I can't think about dating anyone at this point.´ I looked at his milkshake.

´Are you done? I´ve already paid so we can leave in a second.´ And with that, the topic of Edward Cullen was finished.

We didn't speak about him any more during our weekend in Jacksonville. As soon as we left the diner, we were occupied with all the little trips my mother had planned for us. First, Rene treated us to a homemade lunch. I knew what kind of cook she was, so of course, I was a bit hesitant to try her humus bread at first, but it turned out to be quite good.

Then, me and Rene went shopping. Phill and Jacob were left to keep themselves busy for a few hours. I was never quite fond of shopping, but thanks to Alice, I´ve learned to appreciate it a bit more. Alice even took me to some make-up stores back when all was well between us, and Rene was pleased to see the little collection I had gathered over the few months I had dated Edward. So I knew I could not tell her off, once she kindly pushed me in the direction of a make-up store.

The salesperson that was helping us, put some bronzer on my face to mask my never-ending paleness. I didn't like how un-Bellalike I was feeling with a little tan on, so I gently swiped it off. Instead, she recommended some brown eyeshadow and some pale highlighter. Seeing the little sparkle on my cheekbones, I had to laugh a bit. I almost looked like a vampire, who would have thought! I knew I had to buy it. Rene was very pleased with the fact I bought make-up now, she never succeeded in her attempts to indulge me.

´I definitely like this new side of you,´ she said as we walked back to the house.

´What, me liking make-up?´

´That's one thing I enjoy for sure,´ she joked. ´But I love how you´re so carefree right now. You´re glowing.´

´I should be glowing, that damn highlighter cost me a fortune.´

´Watch your tone, Bella.´

´I´m sorry. I was meant to say; that damn highlighter cost me a fortune, mother.´

Rene rolled her eyes at me before bursting out laughing.

´You´re impossible. Come, let's walk this way. It´s a bit quicker and we don't want to keep the boys waiting any longer.´

We walked into some alley, away from the tourists and the other people. It was a bit scary, but I trusted my mother. She knew Jacksonville. She probably knew this road would be quicker. I just had to tough it up. As we walked farther into the alley, we saw a group of men standing there. We were walking towards them and they hadn't spotted us yet. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rising, as a familiar feeling took over. Fear.

Suddenly, I was back to where I was a year ago. I was back in Port-Angeles. A year ago, I also went shopping. A year ago, I was also in some alley, with a group of men harassing me. They were dangerous, ready to kill me and leave me to die if I were lucky. If I were not so lucky they would have tortured me, probably raped me, and then left me to die. I was sure I would die that day. I would´ve died if Edward had not come in and saved me. He came and used his vampire ways to scare them off, while he absolutely wanted to kill them.

I would not need Edward right now. As we approached the group of men, it turned out they were way younger than I thought they were. Probably just some teenagers selling weed or something illegal like that. I let out of deep sight I didn't know I was holding in. I would not need Edward. Not like that.

The weekend was coming to an end, much quicker than I wanted to. Packed with gifts for Charlie and Billy, Jake and I were sitting in the airport terminal. Saying goodbye to my mother again was hard, much harder than I anticipated. Luckily, Jake was there to dry my tears. And for that, I was grateful.

Edward POV:

I´ve heard Rosalie´s thoughts before she knocked on my door.

Pathetic, all this moping around for a plain human!

I felt my wrists clenching and unclenching at her horrible remark. I liked it better when she was still in Vancouver, but unfortunately, she returned. I was tremendously happy Emmett returned, but I could do without Rosalie right now. She was never fond of Bella, never fond of the idea that a vampire and a human match to the extent that we do. Did… Do! I have to believe in our love right now, I have to.

And besides, calling Bella a plain human, how dare she? She was everything to me. The centre of my universe. She was my soul. And I wanted my soul back. I needed my soul back. I´ve missed her so much.

´Quit your little tantrum, Edward. Sitting in your room all day does not bring her back.´ Rosalie screamed at the door.

I wish! If it were that easy, I would for sure never leave.

´Leave him be, Rose,´ Esme told her.

´But it's the truth, someone needs to tell him.´

´He'll come out when he chooses to,´ Esme replied.

´Pathetic.´

I could not listen to this any longer, so I ran in vampire speed towards the living room. Every Cullen was already sitting there. One of the perks and downsides of being a vampire, since there goes my dramatic entrance.

´Alright, I'm out. Happy now?´ I said sarcastically.

´Oh Edward, you should not feel forced or anything,´ Esme came over to hug me. I felt guilty for worrying her. Once we were hugging, I felt at ease thanks to Esme´s motherly affection and Jasper's gift to spread a wave of calmth towards the room. Carlisle came over to us.

´It's just a weekend, son. She´ll be fine. Stop worrying.´

I smiled at him. My parents were right, I was indeed overreacting. Everything would turn out fine. I mean, Alice would see it in the future if it weren't fine, right?

I glanced over at Alice with my brow raised. She recognised my look and nodded her head in agreement. In her head, she showed me a vision of the future. Bella was fine. She was sitting in the airport terminal, loaded with gifts for her father. She was sad about leaving Rene again and had to cry about that. I felt the all too familiar stab of jealousy as I realised that Jacob would dry her tears while that should have been me. I must have looked devastated for a moment, as I heard Rosalie again.

´That does it. Edward, grow a pair!´

Alice gasped in surprise at the harshness of Rosalie´s tone. Jasper tried to calm the atmosphere but it did not work. Emmett rushed over to Rosalie´s side to soothe her, in an attempt to stop her next words.

´She's only visiting her mother for a weekend, while you´ve left her for six months. Man up!´

The room went silent. Six pairs of eyes stared at me, preparing and calculating how I would react to that. And I was truly shocked since it was the truth. It was the truth and nothing but the truth. I heard Emmett whispering in Rosalie´s ears.

´You should not have said that. He's miserable enough as it is already without you interfering.´

´But she's right,´ I said.