Chapter 22

She's Gone

Present Day

"After you saw Ella in the street doing a freelance gig that's obviously underpaying her, you stopped schooling?"

I bit my lip then nodded my head. I shared, "I had a part time job first to help my mom out but I can't seem to balance it with school. The job's paying me appropriately but will all the bills, needs, and debts, it wasn't enough."

"Have you told Christian about this? Did he try to help you out?"

"He found out. I didn't tell him."

Doc Daisy stared at me for awhile before she asked, "May I know why?"

"I was ashamed," I told her the truth.

She slowly nodded and asked me again, "How about Mia then?"

At the mention of my best friend's name, tears sprung freely and wildly. Doc Daisy was patient enough. She didn't care how long it took for me to finally utter a single word. She gave me all the time I needed. She was patient and kind and there was empathy in the way her eyes gazed at the sight of my brokenness.

"It became worse," my voice was hoarse when I began to tell her about Mia.

12 Years Ago

December 2017

After a long night of arguing with my mother, she finally agreed to my finding a part time job. I got hired as a research assistant in the school. I had to let go of the school paper because I had too much on my plate already. I assured my Mom that I won't stop studying so she let me take on the job and help her out.

Ella was doing well in school now and she's not worrying anymore. Although life's difficult and I had been so down lately, seeing Ella struggle gave me the courage to still try to fight. She was only thirteen and she's not supposed to be the one sacrificing.

Christian, on the other hand, had gotten busier with school. There were times that he'd be awake for more than 24 hours. It's just pre-med. I wondered if he'd be at his busiest when he finally goes to med school.

He knew about my being a working student and he was supportive. Regardless of how busy he was, he still sent me text messages reminding me not to forget to eat and that he missed me. Those were the words that boost me and help me make it through the day.

After a long day at school, I finally grabbed my bag and bid farewell to everyone. I went out of the university gates and Mia was standing there pacing back and forth.

"Mia?" She's my best friend. I had known her since we were fifteen. I knew that her biting her nails meant that she's extremely anxious.

"Oh, Ana!" She stopped biting her nails as soon as she saw me. She ran towards me and wrapped her arms around my exhausted body.

"What's wrong?" I was really worried because she was crying over my shoulders now. Her body trembled all over and my shoulder blades felt her teardrop.

She pulled away from my embrace, "Ana, I-I don't know what to do."

Despite of how worn out I felt, I grabbed her hands with no hesitation and squeezed it to tell her that I was here for her. I may not be at my strongest but I'll try to be just for her to be okay.

"Tell me, Mia. What's wrong?"

"Ethan's going to Paris for good. He's gonna continue his studies there and eventually make his own business," she cried.

"What's wrong with that?" I raised my brow. Didn't she tell me that she's over him?

"He came over this morning. He stood in my front door and told me that he loved me and if I loved him back, he won't go."

"And?"

"I just stared at him like a stupid bitch! I didn't say anything and he took it as a no! I am devastated because I— b-because I love him, Ana. I love him," Mia finally admitted after all these years. Yes, finally!

I gave her a warm smile. She was finally smiling too, smiling while crying.

"Then, what are we waiting for? We have to chase him down!" I shouted.

There was no time to lose. There's certainly no time to wait for Mia's chauffeur. We hailed a cab and to say that Mia went on beast mode was a total understatement. She kept yelling at the cab driver to go faster.

"Please Chris, you gotta go faster! Please! Please! My true love awaits!"

"Geez, calm down, woman. I am not a NASCAR driver!"

Of course, Mia didn't calm down. She kept on pressuring the cab driver to go faster.

"Mia, we'll get there. Just hold on," I comforted her. Chris, the cab driver was doing his best.

My best friend was completely stressed out that she ended up telling Chris her whole love story with Ethan.

From her crushing on Ethan since high school and when he broke her heart during the high school Marriage Booth, Chris listened with complete attention.

"We had sex after we dropped off Ana from Elliott and Kate's wedding! But I had to make him leave the next day and I truly regret it!"

My mouth formed into a huge O. "Mia Grey?! What the fuck?! You didn't tell me about this!"

"It must have been bad, huh?" Chris asked casually.

"No, it wasn't. I cried afterwards. It was so emotional," Mia began to cry again and I couldn't help but glare at her. Seriously? She didn't tell me about doing the deed with Ethan after I told her about my first time with Christian? Not to mention, Christian's her older brother.

"Here we are," we finally arrived in front of the airport and Mia gave Chris a five-hundred-dollar bill.

"Keep the change, Chris. For the record, you should be a NASCAR driver!"

"Come on!" I had to drag Mia out of the cab. I knew she would talk nonstop. She's that friendly. We ran inside the airport and looked around. Luckily, I was able to spot Ethan walking towards one personnel, about hand out his ticket.

"There! There! Ethan! Ethan!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, not caring that everyone was looking at our direction.

"ETHAN!" I screamed and Ethan finally stared at our direction.

I let go of Mia's hand and practically pushed her to him. I stood from a friendly distance, my heart beating so loudly. I was nervous for my best friend. I just wanted her to be happy.

"Mia, what are you doing here?" Ethan barely whispered. There were dark rings under his eyes and his plaid shirt was crumpled.

"Ethan, don't go," Mia cried.

"Mia—"

"I love you, okay? I want to be with you! Don't go please and stay here with me," Mia confessed.

"Mia—"

She cut him off again, "I know I shooed you away but I was still confused and I wasn't sure if I was willing to risk it all. But I am ready now and—"

"Mia," Ethan's voice had a tender command and his palms cupped her cheeks. He said, "I love you and I won't go."

The two kissed and I can't help but cheer alongside the other people who were watching them too. I was nowhere near happy with my life right now but to see Mia happy made me believe that maybe things will get better.

11 years ago

March 2018

I was wearing a simple turquoise dress and Christian wore a polo of the same color too. We held hands as we walked inside St. Croix. It had been too long since I step foot here. Every space and corner reminded me of Dad. This place held a space in his heart so dearly.

Christian tightened his grip around my waist as if he already knew that the place itself overwhelmed me so much.

"Are you okay?" He asked before kissing my temples.

"I am," I was trying to be.

We were on our way to Mia and Ethan's wedding.

At first, I thought the Greys would be very happy about that but as it turned out, they weren't. They thought that it was completely pointless to have another Grey-Kavanaugh wedding since they already sealed a partnership. They said Mia could be more useful if she married someone else.

Being stubborn and in love, they didn't listen. Mia's one month pregnant and Ethan didn't hesitate to marry her right away.

The wedding's intimate. There were only a few of us invited. Mia chose the school gym to be their venue since they were supposed to "get married" here years ago. Gia was also here to arrange the decorations and to make sure that it was the replica of the Valentine's Day Marriage Booth five years ago.

We were walking halfway through the hallway when Christian suddenly stopped walking.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you remember what happened here?" He gave me his charming grin.

"How could I forget?" I smiled.

He grinned wider. This was the exact spot where I gave him a chance to prove himself to me. We officially got together on this very same ground we're standing on.

All of a sudden, Christian took a deep breath and knelt before me. My mouth dropped open when he took out a ring from his pocket. It was a simple silver with an amethyst in the middle.

"Ana, we have been through so much. You changed me in more ways than one. I cannot imagine living my life with you. Will you marry me?"

His gray eyes were worried, he gulped, and his fingers trembled when he presented the ring to me. One trail of sweat escaped the side of his head and I could say that he was really nervous.

As I stood before him, there were so many thoughts running in my head. My whole body turned cold. He patiently waited for an answer.

"Not yet please," I whispered.

Disappointment flashed across his face when he finally understood that I just rejected his proposal. I immediately held his arms and asked him to stand up. When he was standing before me, his eyes refused to meet mine and the ring tumbled in between his index finger and thumb.

"Christian, I love you and I see myself growing old with you. I am in love with you without any doubt and you know that. But, I am not ready yet. I am not."

My whole life was still falling apart no matter how tried to make things work. I was on the verge of stopping my schooling. And truth to be told, I was not proud of myself anymore. I didn't trust myself to be enough for him.

He looked down the ground and I was nervous. I didn't want to lose him over this. I was scared for a moment but he took a deep breath and met my face with a forced smile. He smiled but it didn't reach his grey eyes. He put the ring back inside his pocket.

Christian promised, "I will wait until you are ready."

I breathed a sigh of relief before wrapping my arms around his neck and pressed a kiss on his lips.

"I love you. I will wait for you," he told me before pulling me away.

11 years ago

December 2018

Some time in August, I found Ella crying in the corner of her room. She tried to hide her phone away from me but I was able to get a hold of it and saw what she was crying about. She had been receiving hurting messages from people we owed money to.

She was being reprimanded for posting a photo of her new clothes online. They made her feel like she didn't have the right to buy herself anything because we hadn't paid our debts yet. They would also message her bad things about our mother. Things like: "your mom's a cunt. Tell her to fucking pay us!" or "we will sue you if you don't pay".

I was already sacrificing so much but I guessed it wasn't enough.

Despite my mother's opposition, I assured her, "I will be fine, Mom. I'll figure this out and when things are finally okay, I can go back to school."

That's why I was here now working as a barista. During my free time, I worked as a cashier in a convenient store. It was really difficult to get a job but I was grateful to be able to get one. Of course, it wasn't the most glamorous but it helped me and my family get by every day.

"One Frappuccino for Alex!" I called out and handed the coffee with a fake smile to the customer.

"Ana," all the hairs in my body suddenly stood as I heard a calm but angry voice—his voice. I turned around and saw Christian angry—completely angry.

-page break-

"You really think that I would not find out?! For fuck's sake, Ana, how can you keep this from me?!" He was increasingly frustrated and I couldn't blame him.

We stood in front of the café I was working at. He was in his school uniform, looking like a future doctor while I was in my work uniform. I was just a barista. Completely low compared to him.

He kept ranting, "I was busy, Ana, I know but I trusted you! I was under the impression that you were at school! What are you even doing here? If Carl didn't come over, I wouldn't have known that you're working here instead of going to school. When were you going to tell me?! Huh? When?! Were you even planning to tell me at all?!"

I rolled my eyes when I felt tears threatening.

"I wasn't planning to," my voice was rough.

"Why? Tell me why," he practically begged.

I looked at him—the kind of gaze that pierce through his soul. I told him, "You want to know why? Ever since my Dad died, my whole life just fell apart! We had incurred so much debts and I still have a younger sister who needs to go to school!"

"You should have told me. I would have helped you," he argued.

"With what? Elliott's money? One he earned from your company? I wouldn't want to leech off your parents' riches!"

"I would get a job! I would leave school for awhile and help you out and—"

I laughed sarcastically.

"Ana," he was obviously pissed now.

"You getting a job? You won't do that."

"And why not?"

"Because you always have it easy in life," I sounded so bitter.

Christian looked as if I just slapped him across the face. He stared at me in disbelief. As soon as I saw pain reflect in his gray orbs, I immediately covered my mouth with my hand and regretted what I said.

"I'm sorry, Christian. I didn't mean it," I said, my voice filled with shame.

He avoided my gaze and took a step away when I tried to touch him.

"At some point, you have to let me care for you," he said before walking out.

I was left there crying. I was the only one to blame.

-page break-

My legs ran so fast when I went to the hospital. I still had my brown apron on but I couldn't care less. Mia was giving birth and I was more than ready to meet the baby. The receptionist told me to go to the third floor and right along the white hallways I saw Elliott and Kate waiting . . . and Christian was there too.

It had been four days since we last talked. He kept on ignoring my messages and calls.

After I said my hello's to Elliott and Kate, I slowly walked my way to Christian. I sat right next to him and I really hated how he's refusing to look at me straight to my eyes.

"Hi," I whispered.

"Hi," he said in a monotonous voice.

I was about to say something when we saw Ethan walking towards us.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Is he here? Is my new nephew here?" Kate was practically skipping but my heart almost stopped when we saw Ethan crying.

Yes, it's normal for fathers to cry, right? But the way he looked right now got me worried. His eyes were extremely red and he let out a desperate sob when he finally reached Kate. He held on to her like a little child.

Both Christian and I stood up at the same time.

This isn't good. This is not good at all.

"What happened? Dude, what happened?" Elliott asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

Regardless of the fight and how we were not okay, Christian held my hand so tightly and I held his just as tight.

"The baby made it but Mia didn't. Mia's gone. She's gone. She's dead," Ethan cried out. He cried out in so much pain. We all gasped. I almost fell out of shock but Christian held me to my feet. Before we knew it, all of us were crying.

H-how could she be dead? How could she be gone?

She just gave birth. How could she be dead?!

Ethan was crying in his sister's arms while Elliott punched the wall again and again. Christian was crying too but he was trying his best to console me. I still couldn't believe it. She can't be gone. This isn't real, right? This shouldn't be real. This shouldn't be happening.

"How could she leave me? How? How can I raise Raymond alone?!" Ethan cried out.

"Raymond?" My voice broke. My best friend named her baby after my Dad.

But now she's gone.

She's gone.

Hi guys. I truly am sorry for the long wait. It took me awhile to update due to personal reasons and conflicting schedules. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

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Thank you. – Cloud