Chapter 23

Silver Lining

10 years ago

January 2019

The sky groaned and cried a thousand teardrops as we buried a pure soul. Right underneath our black umbrellas, we let out all of our sobs. As Mia's casket sank six feet underground, it took all the courage in me to stop myself to cry out loud.

I worried for her. She couldn't breathe inside that casket. What if she suddenly woke up? What if her heart would miraculously beat again? I just closed myself and stopped my wishful thinking. She was gone and she was never coming back.

After the funeral, everyone gathered to go to the Grey Manor. Food was waiting there but for us, we wanted to stay longer. Mia was all alone there and we just didn't want to leave her side.

Carrick and Grace were there too. I was glad they didn't cause a scene at the sight of me and my family. Carrick was practically sobbing and bawling his eyes out while Grace stood still, like a statue who refused to cry when she clearly felt so down.

They all walked out of the funeral site while we didn't move an inch. Kate cried in Elliott's arms while Christian had a talk with my Mom and Ella. My mom and sister were consoling him.

Ethan was carrying Raymond in his arms. I took a deep breath and walked until I stood right next to him. He was cradling the sleeping baby in his right arm while his left hand held the umbrella. I closed mine and grabbed Ethan's so he would be able to hold Raymond in both of his arms.

"Thanks," he uttered, eyes still locked at the sight of Mia's grave.

"She really loved you, you know. I was there from the very beginning," I said with a hoarse voice.

Ethan didn't say anything.

"She wasn't a writer but she tried to be because you were part of our school paper. She tried so hard to get your attention," I reminisced those times—those happy times that will never ever come back.

"Why did this happen, Ana? We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to watch Raymond grow up. She was to become an actress and I a businessman. We were supposed to be happy. We were supposed to be alive," Ethan expressed calmly but with spite.

"I don't know, Ethan," that was all I could say.

Whenever bad things happened, I always tried to find the reasons why. I always wanted to see the glass half full. But with all that's going on in my life—the way my father and Mia left and how I had to put my dream on pause, I just can't find any reason anymore. Bad things just happen and for no reason at all.

Ethan wiped his tears and rocked Raymond in his arms. He was cooing now and he kissed his son's face over and over again.

"At least she left me an angel before she became one," Ethan said. He tried to sound happy but the sadness he felt was overpowering.

My heart melted at the sight of Raymond. He was clearly a cherub and he was a carbon copy of Mia—her boy version aesthetically.

"I wish I could thank her for naming him after my Dad," I said.

Ethan replied, "It was an honor to have Mr. Raymond Steele as a teacher and Mia wanted to fulfill her promise to you."

My heart stopped.

He continued, "Mia told me that when your father died, you cried all day long in her arms and she made a promise to bring your Dad back in a way she can. So, she named our baby after him."

When he said that, I just became more emotional. She wasn't just my best friend—she was my twin and the sister of my soul. She was someone who knew everything about me but still loved me anyway. She knew all my secrets and all the romantic secrecies with Christian. She was grossed out because he's her brother but she still felt so happy for me. I told her about pretty much everything.

Who was I supposed to talk to now when there's no her?

Baby Raymond cried and Ethan was doing his best to calm him down. He looked so desperate, so vulnerable, but trying his best for the sake of his child.

"Please don't cry. Please don't cry, Baby. Daddy can't stand to hear you cry," Ethan begged his one-month old child.

I looked over my right side and Christian was crying in my mother's arms. We were all in pain because of the one single soul taken away too early.

-page break-

The silence was all over the walls of Christian's bachelor pad. None of us dared to speak. We just got home from the funeral and both of us were still in black, we didn't have the energy to move. Mom and Ella came to our apartment while I decided to be there for Christian. He was silently crying. He lost his sister.

We hadn't been okay since we had a fight in the coffee shop weeks ago but I wanted him to know that I was there for him. I was about to say I'm sorry and reach out to him but he beat me to it.

"Ana, I'm sorry for not being me for the past couple of weeks. It's just been . . . difficult."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him. I sat on his lap and breathed into his neck. Then, I inhaled his scent. It was the most comforting smell I never knew I need. He wrapped his arms around me too and kissed the top of my head.

He continuously apologized, "I wasn't mad at you. I was just frustrated. I haven't been mad for weeks now but with Mia's death, I—"

My lips silenced his apologetic words. I kissed him deeply before saying, "I'm sorry" when I pulled away.

I cupped his face with both of my palms and said, "I'm sorry for hiding things from you. I hope you know that I didn't mean it when I said that you have it easy. Just because I'm going through tough tribulations doesn't mean I should invalidate the weight of your struggles. I was just tired and frustrated and exhausted and . . . I wasn't me."

But who was I really?

Christian grabbed my hand and held them both so tightly. He kissed my palms before he asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I looked down.

"Why didn't you tell me, Baby?"

"Because I was ashamed," I cannot look at him in the eye.

"Ashamed of what?" He asked confused.

"You're too high for me, Christian. I wasn't bothered about it before but it just affects me so much now. I just feel so small and the way I see you now, you're just too big, too high, and too good for me."

"Ana, please don't say that. Ana." He kept saying my name over and over until our eyes met when his hand slowly guided my face to take a look at him directly.

His grey eyes were scorching, persistent, and it held the kind of blaze no rain is powerful to kill.

"Why me, Christian? You could have any other girl."

"I love you, Ana. I love you. Isn't that enough reason to not doubt me anymore?" Christian's voice surprisingly cracked when he asked.

I just cried. I couldn't say anything.

He wiped all of my tears away and told me, "Ana, if I can't lift you up then I will sink with you. Tell me not to go to med school and tell me to leave it all behind and I will do so. I'll get a job and I'll help you out—you, your mom, and Ella. Tell me what to do and I'll do it just so I can erase all these doubts away."

I shook my head over and over and insisted, "Christian, don't do that please. Please don't ever stop chasing your dreams. Do not do that, I beg you."

He took a deep breath before saying, "I just want you to be okay."

Christian rarely had time for me at all and if he were to become a doctor, I knew that time was not something he could give easily. But, it was his dream. I could never let him forget his dream. I knew I wasn't worthy enough for him to give up his plans of being a doctor.

"I'll be okay. I will be okay," I knew I was lying to myself but he was believing me.

I told him straight into his eyes, "I will be okay, Christian. Just don't let go of your dreams and I will be fine."

I made him swear. I made him promise and he did.

"I love you," I said before kissing him.

It didn't take long before our kisses turned deep and our clothes were all on the floor. We got lost in each other's touch and he claimed my body like it's his—like it was made for him. He was made for me just as I was made for him. We made love out of desperation, our bones tangled in the glow of reconciliation, and our hearts beating in unison.

That's who we were: we fight, we forgive, we fix.

In the darkest of clouds, he was my silver lining.

10 years ago

September 2019

The months after Christian and I settled our problem, I did try to be okay for him. He was already in his first year in med school and I made sure to support him in every step of the way. He was trying everything to make me feel better and I told him that I will be okay just as long as he prioritized his studies.

As he was venturing into the long road of becoming a doctor, I found a better paying job that didn't need a college diploma.

I was hired as a call center agent in an insurance agency. I spent three weeks striving to pass the training and I was glad that I was able to pass. This wasn't the job of my dreams but the money I get was enough to sustain me, Mom, and Ella. We decided that Mom's salary would pay all the debts while mine would sustain our needs.

It wasn't the dream but it was enough to battle against reality.

"Congratulations, Team for passing the training. Now follow me," our trainer, Carrie guided us to the production floor. We had been secluded in the training room and it was all new to be on the floor where hundreds of agents were taking calls.

"Now I'll introduce you to your supervisor," Carrie led us to a tall dark-haired man.

"Hello, Carrie. Good morning," he greeted with a smile.

Carrie ignored his greeting and just proceeded, "I'd like you all to meet your supervisor, Jack Hyde. Starting next Monday, he will be your direct supervisor."

His eyes were so judgmental and scrutinizing. There was something about the way he stared. It brought chills down to my spine and at the very worst way. He took a look at all eight of us, and it made me very uncomfortable when his gaze lingered longer on me.

We introduced ourselves to him.

When it was my turn, I said, "I'm Ana. Ana Steele."

"Nice to meet you, Ana," he said, eyeing me from head to toe.

Carrie cleared her throat and said, "Since you've all met your new supervisor, come follow me and we'll listen to one of our top agent's call."

We all followed Carrie and she led us across the room. There was this guy who really did his job well so we listened at how he was handling concerns of the customers. He seemed empathetic, upbeat, and kind but I couldn't focus.

No matter how far he was, I could feel Jack Hyde staring at me. His gaze reminded me of a predator who just found his prey. I tried to shake those thoughts away. Maybe I was just overthinking.

After an hour of listening to the top agent's call, Carrie declared that we can take our lunch. I really wasn't close with anyone so I always ate alone.

I almost pressed my key card against the door but an unfamiliar voice made me jump.

"Hey, Ana, right?" Jack eyed me from head to toe once more.

"Yes, Sir?" I asked uncomfortably.

"You're going out for lunch now? Come on. Let's eat together."

I raised my brow. This was my first call center but it's not like I was never employed before. I never had a supervisor ask me to eat lunch with him. If a supervisor, it would be with the rest of the team. But, he was clearly asking me.

"No, Sir, I eat alone and—"

"No?" He was laughing humorlessly.

I was confused.

"You're new but you're already saying no to your boss?"

There was a venomous bite in his voice. I was scared of the way he was speaking to me and most of all, I was scared for my mother and sister. What if I lost this job?

"I just don't think it's right to—"

"Hey, you're here. Let's take our lunch?" All of a sudden, a guy I didn't know came into the picture. He had jet black hair and dark skin. He wore a dark green shirt underneath his brown jacket. He held his ID and tumbler.

"You know her, Jose?" Jack's brows furrowed.

"Yes. Now let us leave," Jose's eyes urgently signaled me to follow him.

When we're finally out of the floor, I was breathing out a sigh of relief. I completely felt safe now that I was no longer in Jack's sight.

"Thank you," that was all I could say to Jose.

He frowned and warned, "No matter what happens, don't ever get near him."

I slowly nodded my head.

"I'm Jose Rodriguez," he offered his hand.

"Ana Steele," I introduced myself before taking his hand.

From then on, we became close friends.

Now we have Jack and Jose in the picture.

Thank you reading, guys.

Any thoughts? – Cloud