~Present Day~
The couple watched the blazing fire for a moment, hands in each other's back pockets, twinkles in their eyes.
"Having fun?"
Regina didn't look away from the scene, still somewhat peeved. "How the hell did she know I was expecting? Barely a month after I found out myself?"
"She's a witch. Probably toyed around with a crystal ball somewhere, wondering when we were coming to visit." She was only guessing, but even her bullshitting had an incredibly high probability rate. "Maybe wanted to throw a party?"
"Hm." She chewed on her lip, her eyes refusing to stray. "So, she wasn't trying to be malicious? She was just being… Mal?"
"She's a pain in the ass. She's not stupid."
"Debatable." With a flourish of her hand, the flames were quickly fanned away. The house was untouched – understandable, considering a house of dragons should have fire-retardant spells – but at least all the pink powder was burned up.
On the front porch, instead of the daughter, it was the mother that greeted them, her arms crossed, her red silk pajamas un-singed. "Are you finished?"
"That depends. Are you?"
"I just had my nails done; the balloon was too sensitive. Excuse me for trying to congratulate you on your goddamned spawn!"
Regina raised her hand again.
"Magical exhaustion," Emma gently reminded her, and her wife reluctantly dropped it to her side. "What would you like?"
"Dragon Soup." She freed her other hand to cross her arms. "But I suppose that's too much to ask for."
"When have I ever disappointed you?"
"Would you literally turn Mal into soup, if I asked?" Her gaze was an amused one, but there was an underlying insecurity in her tone. Disbelief.
"Complete with two spoons," she uttered, not a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "But only if you really wanted me to, and if I knew you wouldn't regret it after. Besides, you're the one with the dagger."
"But – I'm not using it."
"Exactly. You're the only one I trust enough to ever use my dagger." Gently kissing the side of her head, she moved forward, and her wife quickly kept pace with her.
The house was undamaged, and pristine inside, and they both expected that. Had it been Emma that cast the fire, the Page abode – formerly Merlin's House – wouldn't have fared so well, and Regina might remind them of that before they left the house today. Emma found her old friend in the kitchen, pouting at the black brick that she pulled out of the oven. Her frown deepened as she stood up, presenting the giant lump of coal. "Would you believe it was like this before the fire?"
"So you admit you were in on it," Emma muttered, disappointed, and even she had a hard time believing that what she was holding was once something edible.
"Even the pan is melted," Lily sighed, dropping the rock cake on the counter. "Look, I told my mom it was a bad idea. And that's coming from me."
"I thought you repaired her," Regina questioned with some surprise, and Lily pouted again at the insinuation.
"It's hard to fix something that manifested in you before you were truly even born. You know how hard it is. Can't exactly suck the darkness out back into my own body."
"Not with the wife around, at least," she teased with a grin, and faltered under the former Queen's intense stare. Regina was used to these comments, very aware of her affliction, but the timing and lack of tact were always a little astonishing.
Emma was far more used to it, ignoring her completely. She looked her former best friend up and down. "Do you feel bad or anything? Depressed? Angry?"
"I feel like I just ruined a cake for you two, and then my house was set on fire."
"And before that?"
"I felt happy that I was gonna share a pink velvet cake with my favorite people."
Emma poked her finger against the char, and vibrant colors fluttered through the single layer again. With another poke, the cream cheese frosting – pink, of course – popped out of the fridge and began spreading itself across the top and sides. "Never too late."
"Show-off."
"No. Showing off is making you bake it again, all while having you make a speech on how wrong you are for doing it."
"Sins of the mother, much?"
"Welcome to the family."
Mal came down the stairs, pouting in a most regal way. "That was uncalled for."
"Where the hell did you go?" her daughter demanded with narrowed eyes. "Leaving me with a pissed-off pregnant witch and her God-wife? Maybe my bad decisions are just bad genetics?"
"You just love blaming the poor, innocent mother who didn't even have the chance to instill any values, don't you?" She tapped her slipper-clad foot on the linoleum floor. "Now I know how Cora feels."
"She's been asking about you, by the way," Regina said offhandedly, moving to the barstool behind the counter. "Despite your constant jabs at me, I still find your loneliness depressing. Also, Zelena is hinting that she's ready to kick her out."
Emma made a face, suddenly recalling the last time they had talked. "She had the nerve to ask me to poof her up a damn house. Even after she decided not to give us a wedding gift! Like I could even do that! The paperwork that would involve! I'd have to speak to a Realtor, get blueprints notarized, get the space cleared with Grumpy, the pipes and foundation and electricity – I'm not going through that shit – not for her." She angrily bit into a piece of cake Lily cut for her, and Regina had to admit it was the first time she had ever seen Emma eat dessert with a frown.
Mal looked appalled at the clear disrespect of her alleged friend. "All of your preachings about forgiving, and the past, and looking ahead – "
"Forgiving," Emma pointed out, swallowing. "Not forgetting." She could understand the confusion, having conflicting feelings about her mother-in-law herself. She and her wife went back and forth over what to do with the elder Mills and her punishment. Even with her heart back in her chest, sins could not be forgotten, there was barely any remorse shown, and while her wife had publicly forgiven her for Daniel's death, it was an empty gesture.
Emma had no qualms. Anytime, she was ready to end the life of Cora Mills. But that was Regina's decision. Hence, the conflict. If she decided that Cora should live, then Emma wasn't so sure how to proceed after that. Of course, punishment would be doled out – that couldn't be avoided, and unless her wife used the dagger (and she doubted it), Cora was going to face some of her wrath, one way or another.
Lily cut herself more than her share of the cake, wordlessly ignoring everyone's eyes on her as she took it to the den. "Even my mom has a booty call," she muttered, passing by the staircase, where her mother still lingered.
She sputtered, while Regina made a grimace at the mental image. Emma leaned forward on the counter, curious about her friend's downtrodden mood.
"I heard that you and Elsa were pretty close leading up to the bachelorette party. I saw you two dance at the wedding. What happened?"
She paused before she sat down on the leather couch. "She had other obligations."
That lapse told Emma plenty. She shared a worried look with her wife, who only rolled her eyes.
"Let me stop by the house and grab my fur coat."
"I didn't say I was going now. Or even today."
"We both know you'll be thinking about it until this is resolved. We have time."
Emma frowned, and lowered her voice. "You're not… jealous, are you?"
The brunette frowned back, but her lips curled deeper as she truly considered the question. "Not for the reason you think. I don't have a best friend. My definition of 'friends' throughout my life has been poorly exaggerated. All my friends today, have been your friends for years."
"Well, she's my oldest friend, I wouldn't call her my best friend. I married mine. But apparently, she doesn't feel the same."
Slipping her hand into the Dark Savior's, she gave a gentle squeeze to go along with her grin. "Adorable. But I won't ever introduce you as my any type of friend, dear. That's just a fact. We've graduated from such endearing language, and certain terms are retired."
"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "I guess if Ruby wants that illustrious title, she can take it. She was my Bridesmaid, anyway. Considering Tink was your bridesmaid – "
"She's my Fairy Godmother. I owed her that much, and it will be worth shoving it into Blue's face one day."
"Robin? He's your soulmate, after all."
"If he was, he'd have taken my advice about marrying the Pirate to heart."
"Well, what about Mal? I imagine she would be on the shortlist."
"I thought so, too." Both turned to see said blonde, leaning forward across from them at the kitchen island. She pouted. "And I was going to suggest making bracelets."
"As I said," the brunette deadpanned. "An annoying big sister."
"But you have one of those, now," Mal pointed out, grinning in an endearing fashion. "You've replaced me. It's only fair that I have an equally important alternative role in your life." Her eyes flitted to Regina's bump, and Emma was damn near waiting for it.
"Absolutely not."
The older blonde feigned confusion for the longest of seconds until she realized who she was trying to fool. "I'm not even being considered? That's hurtful."
Regina, however, was actually confused at the exchange, and didn't have to pretend. "What the hell is she on about?"
"She wants to be our daughter's Godmother. The legal one."
She blinked owlishly at her wife, and back and to her former mentor. "Oh."
Her next response wasn't entirely unseen; she tilted her head back, and laughed aloud.
"It's not that funny," Mal grumbled, crossing her arms when Regina began to hold onto Emma to keep from falling over. Even Lily looked up from her gorging in concern at the sheer lung capacity the brunette showed off, before she stopped abruptly, heaved a giant breath, and started guffawing all over again. "It's not that funny!"
"How the hell do I respond to that?" She wiped at her eyes, her smile bright and enchanting, and The Dark Savior was eternally grateful that she could revisit these memories and take pictures. She stood fully to face the still-pouting Dragon-mother. "You're actually being serious? You should be lucky to attend my shower! Do I need to set your house on fire again to tell you that you're not exactly my favorite person at the moment?"
"Yes, well, I don't even understand why you did that in the first place, if we're finally being honest."
"I didn't know what my baby's sex was, you dunce."
"And an explosion of pink powder was the perfect way to find out, I think! Apparently, you didn't agree."
"And you felt that you had the right to inform me? That you felt the need to force your own chapter into her story?" The amusement began to fade, quickly, and even Lily would have thought twice before persisting.
Maleficent, however, felt no such compulsion. "Believe it or not, honey, I am a part of your life, so I will be a part of hers. I want to be there for her, like I was there for you. I've never transformed you against your will and kept you locked in a prison, in a world where the bad guys were supposed to win! And – better that I be the one to inform you, than you getting the good Doctor Whale to rub grease on your naked belly."
"Someone's been watching educational videos," Emma commented, while Regina pinched the bridge of her nose.
"You're insufferable."
"And correct," she argued back, to which the expecting witch didn't respond, settling for a glare. "I wanted to celebrate a truly joyous moment with my friend. Having a child is a rare occurrence with us villains, reformed or otherwise." She spared a glance to her daughter on the couch, and this movement did catch Regina's eye. "Keeping a child is even rarer."
"Mal, you know better than to try to guilt me."
"Regina, you spent nearly a year fighting your future wife for possession of your son. Your sister almost lost her daughter to an ancient Dark One ritual requiring a pure heart. And if I'm being honest in who is and who isn't truly evil in our story, Charming and Snow White's tragedy speaks for itself. They haven't shut up about not raising Emma since they remembered they didn't. I don't need to bring up my own sob story."
Emma bit her lip. "She raises a good poi- But," she quickly interrupted herself, seeing her wife raise a skeptical eyebrow and Mal grin a confident grin. "Several problems. One: we both have magic. If we wanted to know our child's gender, it's a simple potion. If you want to be involved, make a fucking slideshow. Two: Clearly, you're not the only one shit like this happens to. Really, it feels like it's happening to everyone. Remember what almost happened to Ella's kid? What happened to Geppetto's kid? Hell, I had to abandon my son for ten fucking years! It's not comparable," she assured the Dragon Mother before she could even protest. "I know it's not. I was prepared to say goodbye, and they probably did, too. But we still lost what we loved, had it ripped away, right? You've probably had it the worst." She bit her lip. "Short of alternative memories, I can't fix that. And you would have done that yourself if that's what you wanted."
The witch leaned against the island, staring down at the porcelain fruit in the basket before her, her blue eyes unfocused. "Now I know why Lilian calls you a buzzkill sometimes."
"Always have been," her daughter finally piped up, having put the television on mute since she was first mentioned – or half-mentioned. "But that's why she's the Sheriff."
"Always has been," Emma cheekily corrected, and Lily's eye twitched.
"Don't test me, Dark One. I still don't have enough sense to not try to punch you."
The Dark Savior shook her head, before turning to her wife. "She is right about one thing, though."
Regina was eerily silent throughout the exchange, considering Emma's words, but she looked up when she was directly spoken to. "Oh? Don't keep me in suspense."
"Of our list of friends, you knew Mal first. She doesn't have a great history with who she hangs around, either – consider Cruella and Ursula. Imprisonment aside, and especially after, you two have been thick as thieves. I think whether you like it or not, she's always kind of had your back."
"… Shit. She has, hasn't she?" Reluctant eyes turned to Mal's confused stare. "Of everyone I've considered a friend, you've tried to be the most genuine, haven't you? Even Tinkerbell kept her distance for a long time. You've always done your best to look out for me."
"I… I won't lie, I've always trained you with an ulterior motive. And I can assume you've done the same. We've been each others' best customers, sure. Friends? Maybe. I've never actually considered it that way." She grinned wickedly. "I suppose I was too busy trying to get in those tight leather pants of yours to think of much else about you."
Regina let out an exasperated sigh. "Another moment, ruined. Like daughter, like mother."
"You never could take a compliment."
"Depends on who doles them out, I suppose."
"See? You two even argue like best friends!" Emma pointed out, and the brunette pursed her lips.
"I honestly don't see why you wouldn't want me as a Godmother. Who would turn down a dragon for a mother?"
"She has a point there," Lily lightly defended her mother. "They're famously protective of their babies. I mean, her resumé is shit, but – statistically, what's the chance of it happening twice?"
Emma tsked. "Sometimes I think you say the things you say on purpose."
"No. But I've come to accept it as a lovable quirk. You used to love the dark humor."
"Never said I stopped. Just pointing out that you probably love it more."
Knowing her motherly glare had no effect on Lily, she shot a pleading look towards the Dark Savior. "Please fix my broken daughter. I feel as though she's getting worse."
The Dark Savior gave a small nod, and Mal wasn't entirely sure if it was a response to helping her, or admitting that she had, indeed, worsened.
Unfortunately, Emma was responding to both.
"Lily and Elsa," Regina pondered on the drive back home, leaning back in the passenger seat. "A Song of Ice and Fire."
"You make it sound like it's meant to end in tragedy."
"She's being kept from her True Love. That's always a tragedy, in my book."
"Oh, for the love of – Anna's engaged! And, let's not forget – they're sisters!"
She shrugged indifferently. "Cupid loves a good joke, from time to time. A princess had to find true love in a frog once, in the Enchanted Forest."
"Yeah, but that was a curse."
"Perhaps in the tale you were told. The actual legend goes that the princess kissed the frog, and turned into one herself. They lived happily ever after, or as much as they could be in a cage in a castle."
"Huh. For some reason, I'm not surprised." She leaned over, one hand on the steering wheel. "So, if I came down with a bad case of toad…."
"I'd love you all the same, darling. You would certainly give Henry a chance to show more responsibility, as a pet." Giving her a loving smirk, she gave her free hand a pat. "Think of the baby. Or would you rather have a tadpole?"
She scoffed. "Fine. Use the pregnancy excuse. Back in my day, you couldn't even get a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card. Times have changed, man."
"You poor fool; you should've hooked up with the Sheriff as I did."
"Nah, I'm not good with authority figures. I don't have a good history with the Mayors in this town. Besides, if I recall, you got stuck with her like a ball-and-chain."
"I wouldn't change a thing," she whispered, nearly in a purr. "At the very least, I gained a beautiful ankle accessory."
Emma couldn't stop the pride that swelled in her chest – there was a time when she didn't have worries, when she didn't have her awesome and dangerous power. Even before that, Regina loved her, Henry loved her, and her mother and father were… getting over it, maybe? Ruby and Belle didn't treat her any differently, and the people who had been with her, through everything, who had, in a way, raised her…
Something Mary Margaret probably didn't want to hear, but she was proud of the family she recognized, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
"What are you thinking about?"
Emma gave a quiet scoff. "You know what I'm thinking about. The goofy smile gives it away."
"It does. But I like to hear it, from time to time."
"You hear it in your head, all day, every day."
"Hearing it from your lips guarantees it's not another hallucination."
Suddenly, they were in the driveway, and in another second, they were in the bedroom. "Lily's waited this long," Emma growled, taking her wife by the waist. "She can wait till tomorrow."
Regina blinked. "It's barely noon."
"Hey, if you want to tap out early, I can pop over to Arendelle while you're napping – "
Emma wasn't expecting to finish that sentence, and she was right. She had better uses for her mouth, anyway, and her insatiable wife tended to agree. It was a win-win: she would shut up, and Regina would scream. And, new pregnancy rules, she had to lie back and just feel.
Again, no complaints.
I know, I know, short chapter, but the next one is… a doozy, to say the least. I think. I might be getting it mixed up. Oh, well, you'll love it anyways. I think.
Fun game you can all play at home – Baby names! What would be Emma and Regina's baby? Names disqualified – Hope, or Emmalina.