AN:
Short and sweet today!
Happy Tuesday.
Two weeks in and I was spiraling.
Bella and I hadn't gone any further than topless kissing last night, but I wanted to. She held back, stopped us before we went too far too quickly, apparently. Her words, not mine.
I got myself off in the shower when I got home. I wished I had the guts to text her and tell her, but I wasn't that brave.
I felt like a teenager and she appeared perfectly unruffled, poised. It was driving me crazy.
"What do I do?" I asked Rose, sitting back in the old, musty armchair, unable to look her in the eye as I asked.
In my periphery, I saw her shrug. "I warned you about Bella Swan. She's a law unto herself. Who knows what she's thinking or what it will take."
"Real helpful," I muttered, eyeing her incredulously.
Smirking, she reached forward and lifted her skinny, double shot, sugar free vanilla—or whatever the hell it was—latte. "You aimed high before you even knew what you were aiming for."
I guess she was right. But it was too late now, and besides, even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing.
"What would you do?" I asked.
For a while, Rose watched the steady stream of students filtering in and out of the coffee shop. Deep in thought, she made a grand display of thinking hard and then pursed her lips, looking back at me. "I'd make the move," she said casually.
That sounded daunting. "What move?"
"You know …" She smiled, wide and mischievously. "The move." When I remained silent, she continued, though part of me soon wished she hadn't. "I'd jump their bones, take charge, and get them naked."
I couldn't imagine a world in which I was ballsy enough to even contemplate that. Sucking a breath through my teeth, I considered how I could do such a thing, make 'the move,' and get Bella naked. In my head, it didn't seem like such a big ask, but in reality, I knew I'd probably be so riddled with nerves I'd puke.
Take charge. Easy in theory, right?
God, my stomach jolted just thinking about it.
Bella was right: my confidence, or lack thereof, was my biggest hurdle.
Men and women made such moves every day. So why was I so sexually stunted? What short straw had I drawn to be this way? The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became with myself.
"Easy, Tiger." Rose leaned forward. "Rome wasn't built in a day." She smiled again, but this time it was softer, almost comforting. "How long have you got before you go home and see Kate for the first time in years?"
I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face. "Four weeks. Thanksgiving." I groaned. I didn't want to face Kate like this, not the bumbling idiot I currently was.
"That's loads of time in the grand scheme of things."
I quirked an eyebrow. "Is it?"
Nodding, she sat back and eyed me smugly. "I bet you're no longer a virgin the next time you see Kate."
She sounded so confident, and though I hoped she was right, I honestly couldn't see it.
AN:
Massive thanks to Mel, who has ninja-fast beta skillz!
And April, for never failing to remind me to update LOL.
And YOU! For reading 3