25. Study

They didn't meet in the bars of the Eiffel Tower, which might have been for the best. Ladybug couldn't help but recall that day in the rain he'd first appeared to her, his suit whiter than snow, and almost completely cut her from his life. No matter how much she tried to cling to the hope Chat had changed, part of her still worried he would try to do that.

When she landed in the back alley they agreed to meet up in, she caught sight of her partner, collapsed on the ground and leaning against a building. His head was propped up, facing the moon and highlighting the paleness of his skin. For a moment, she studied her partner, taking in everything from his posture to his expression to even the finest details of how handsome he still looked to her despite his clear exhaustion.

Eventually, his eyes opened, and that hazy green gaze of his landed on her. With a fortifying breath, he heaved himself up from his spot, but he didn't move any closer to her. Instead, he stood an arm's length from the wall, likely to catch himself if his shaky balance was any indication.

"Hey," was all she managed to say. She could have kicked herself because she had so many more things she wanted to say, but when it came down to it, it all died on her tongue.

"Hey," he responded. He then held out a large, brown book to her. "Here."

She blinked a few times as she looked at the book in his hands, her mind slowly catching up as she realized where she'd seen the cover before. "Is this…?"

"It contains all kinds of information about the miraculous," Chat said. "Hawkmoth had it, but then I learned Mayura stole it, so I had to hunt it down. Which was why it took me so long to get this book for you."

She stared at the book, stunned. Master Fu had given her the digital files he'd had when he transferred the guardian task over to her. But she realized Chat hadn't known that, hence why he'd gone hunting for this. "Chat…"

"Here," he said, waving the book out and expecting her to take it.

So she did, grabbing the familiar tome carefully.

"All I can hope for is that you'll be able to find the information you need in that thing to fix what I broke," he said, ears falling in guilt as his hand fell away, dropping the book completely into her hands. "I'm sorry; I'm leaving you to clean up this mess, but I can't keep this ring any longer, and you know why."

He then grabbed hold of his miraculous, ready to pull it off. "I know you always made a fuss about identities," he continued. "So whether you want to know—"

"I want to know," she cut in instinctually. "I… I know what I used to say, so I know this is really hypocritical of me, but… but now, I really do want to know. Because I want to keep in contact with you, Chat. I… it would hurt too much to just let you go."

Pain flashed through his eyes at her words. With a sigh, he hung his head, his hands falling and bracing on his hips. For that moment, Ladybug could feel just how exhausted he was.

"Geez," he spat. "I ask you that question for years, and the one time I hope you won't press, you go on and decide to."

"I know," she said. "Trust me; I know. But things changed. Hawkmoth is gone, there aren't any more threats, and if I'm left to chose between protecting identities or giving you up, then there's only one answer to that."

Chat quirked a brow at her before shaking his head. "When you phrase it like that, the answer really is obvious."

"Glad you realize that much," she said, her smile so weak it barely lasted two seconds.

He sighed, running his hand roughly through his hair. "Fine," he said. "So be it. I won't fight you."

She let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

But she found herself breathless again when Chat looked back up at her, his eyes glassy. "We'll continue this conversation later, but for now, Ladybug, I beg of you, just… leave me be for a month, at least. Then you can hunt me down and hound me and whatever. I just… can't deal with this now. Please."

Her heart shattered, not because of his words, but because her cat was so thoroughly and completely broken. He wasn't even pushing her away anymore. He was tired and confused and struggling to come to terms with so many things, some of which not even Ladybug could guess. However, he wasn't cutting her out completely, so she could give him space.

But not at this moment.

Without thinking, she stepped forward and took her cat in her arms, hugging him tightly and holding him close. "Then just let me have this moment," she said. "I'm okay with giving you space after this. Just know I want to be here for you, kitty. In any way you'll let me"

He'd frozen the second she wrapped her arms around him, but gradually, he relaxed, his chin coming to rest on top of her head as he began leaning into her embrace until she realized she was now the only thing keeping him upright.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," she whispered back, bracing herself so she could support him. "I'm here. It's okay."

He took a shaky breath. Then another. And Ladybug didn't let go, letting him take his time and relishing any time he gave her.

"Claws in."

His voice broke the long silence as a flash of green lit the alleyway. That's when she realized she was no longer holding Chat Noir, but rather the boy behind that mask. And with their current position, she couldn't even see him.

Still, she didn't move. And she wouldn't until he was ready to let her go. Because first and foremost, even before being his partner, she was his support.

Quite literally.

26. Reverse Crush

After a moment, Chat, er… the man who was Chat shifted his footing so as to stand on his own two feet. Ladybug continued to hold him steady until she felt he was standing without her assistance before she took a half-step back.

"Sorry," he muttered, his voice rough with exhaustion.

"It's o—"

She did not get to finish her 'okay', because she was now able to look up at the man she'd called her partner for years. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd be stunned speechless by his face.

But… here she was. Because it was a face all too familiar to her.

"Adrien?"

A weak half-smile ticked up the corners of his lips. "Yeah," he mumbled, voice dejected for some reason she couldn't quite fathom. "That's me. Perfect poster boy of Paris."

Oh… she supposed he was. He was one of Paris's most prolific models, up until the downfall of his father.

Shit. His father…

Her mind was positively reeling with all the new information as she rapidly put pieces of information together. Ladybug's vision blurred as tears began dripping from her eyes. Because in the end, the one thing her mind still clung to above all else was he wasn't just Chat anymore; he was Adrien. He was her friend both in and out of the suit. And for the past two months, she'd watched him suffer and struggle trying to balance the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"How the hell are you still standing?"

That… was not what she'd wanted to say.

He quirked a brow. "What?"

All her earlier prepared speeches were no longer relevant or even able to be remembered at this point. And no other words seemed to be coming to her. Adrien was still waiting for an answer, and finally, after swiping the tears off her face, she figured out how to give him one. "Spots off."

In a flash of pink, she turned to Marinette. Never did either of their gazes leave the other, Marinette intent on watching Adrien's expression while she was sure Adrien just didn't have the thought to look away. Now, she was watching as confusion and shock played out on his face.

And when he stumbled backwards, she reached for him best she could.

She only partly stopped his fall, Adrien having mostly caught himself against the wall. Still, he slid down to the ground, basically unable to hold himself up, and Marinette, in helping him down, found herself half-way on top of him.

"Holy shit," he muttered, running his hands down his face before peeking back at her through is fingers.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing or a 'you don't know how to process this' thing?" she asked, her heart racing a mile a minute. "Because I'm kinda somewhere between the first and last myself."

She didn't get an answer. Instead, Adrien slung his arms around her, pulling her close and clinging to her like his lifeline.

She sighed, tension leaving her body in an instant as a relieved smile spread across her face. "Okay. I'm okay with this."

"Last one."

"Huh? Oh," she said, taking a moment to realize what he meant. "Then take all the time you need. I don't have a second boy to worry about anymore; I've just got one that's been giving me two sets of heart attacks. So feel free to hog my night."

A weak chuckle rolled through him. Marinette gladly took that win.

"Well," she continued, settling into his embrace while she embraced him back. "Guess I know why you were pushing Marinette to stay with Adrien. You could have just asked me as Adrien, though."

He shrugged. "I… realized I really wanted you there. I just… didn't know how to say it."

"You could have told me outright."

"It sounded too selfish."

"Never."

"Sorry," he whispered.

"Chat could have also asked Ladybug for the same," Marinette added. "In fact, I wanted Chat to ask me."

"It now makes sense why you were doing that," he muttered, burying his face in her shoulder. "Pushing me to meet with you."

"I thought you loved Ladybug."

"I did," he answered. "And I do."

"So you were pushing her away because you didn't want her hurt? Because you have a tendency to take everything on your own shoulders?"

He shrugged, but Marinette knew it was because he was reluctant to admit she was right.

"So what made Marinette different?" she asked. "That you would choose her over Ladybug."

There was a long pause, and for a moment, she was worried he wouldn't answer. "Well…" he finally admitted. "The little spitfire wouldn't leave me the hell alone, and she kinda grew on me." He squeezed her tighter. "But, I'm really glad she did."

I am, too. "So you would have given up the love of your life for a girl you didn't love but who forced herself into your life?"

"I tried pushing you away, too," he said. "But you wouldn't let me do that. And then… I guess after a while, you just… I don't know, wore me down enough where I couldn't push you away anymore."

"I'm glad," she said. "Even if I was being annoying."

He huffed.

"Now, I guess the real question is: is Chat going to push Ladybug away, too?"

He paused, lifting his head up off her shoulder so he could look at her properly. Before he could even speak, Marinette was able to relax upon taking in the sincere expression he was wearing. "No," he said. "He won't."

Relief flooded her, and an exhaustion she could not have predicted hit her like a truck. She snuggled back into his chest, happy to hold him and be held by him, even if it was in some dark, dingy, moonlit back alley. "I'm really glad to hear that."

27. Singing

They ended up back at Adrien's place. In the end, Marinette did take the ring from him. Of course, she hadn't wanted to. Not in the slightest. But when it came down to the fact that his ring was making him sick, she also didn't want to leave it with him a moment more. She'd figure out how to fix it later, planning to ask Tikki for help as well as scour that book for any clues.

But at the moment, she was more concerned getting her partner to bed. Starting tonight, she would nurse him back to health, and there was nothing he could do to prevent her from doing that.

Thankfully, he didn't seem apt to oppose.

Upon crashing down into his bed, Adrien reached a hand out for her. She couldn't help but smile, settling down next to him and letting him wrap an arm around her.

"You got very needy," she teased, thinking about how only a couple months ago, he had been completely adamant about cutting her out of his life. It was quite the change, but Marinette wasn't complaining.

He just grunted, burying his head in her shoulder.

Giggling, Marinette began stroking his hair, absently humming a happy tune.

"You have a pretty voice," he muttered.

"It's the closest to a purr I have," she shot back.

He hummed. "Now I know why you always made me purr against my will."

She scoffed, amused. "When was it ever against your will?"

His silence was enough of an answer.

For now, she let it go, going back to her singing and continuing to do so until she felt his deep, steady breathing indicate he was asleep.

She smiled but didn't stop stroking his hair. "My good kitty," she murmured, her heart finally able to settle calmly for the first time in ages. He was back where he belonged: by her side.

Actually, he was closer than that but still perfectly in place. And Marinette wouldn't have it any other way.