Author note: My heartfelt apologies for the hideously long wait again! I was writing in the Pride and Prejudice fandom and yes, I admit Star Wars as well, and ran out of steam on this one, but I have an idea of how to finish it now so I am really really planning to get this done in a reasonable time!
/
"So let me get this straight," Luke said. "Your brother is a spice addict, Prince Nullay, and your nephew is a toddler and, after your brother, heir to the throne along with the heir to the mines of Dachat's moon. You think your sister-in-law worked with the Imperial governor to cause the uranium mines here to blow up here, thus increasing the value of the mines on the Dachat moon, which are your brother's property."
"Yes," the prince admitted. In spite of the man's garish yellow fluorescent outfit, he looked entirely mournful.
Piett cleared his throat, provoking Lord Vader to shoot him an irritable glance. "Feel free to speak, Admiral."
"I believe that in addition to Lady Catarine's desire to augment her own personal riches, she hoped that the destruction of Dachat would cause a great uprising against Prince Nullay here, and that her nephew would be chosen as de facto leader of the planet until he reaches his majority. Since the prince's younger brother is a spice addict, Lady Catarine would become the effective ruler of the planet."
"A planet suffering from massive radioactive waste!" Luke pointed out indignantly.
"There are those who would far rather rule in Chaos then serve in Paradise, my son," Vader said gravely.
Luke rolled his eyes. "That is crazy, but I guess it makes sense. Well, what are you going to do, your Highness? Where is this insane sister in law of yours?"
"She is missing, and my nephew with her," Nullay admitted.
Vader allowed five seconds to pass before he waved an irritable hand. "The Empire will put out a wanted bulletin on your sister by marriage, Prince Nullay, and the Empire will take over necessary security of the planet. Clearly this level of incompetence cannot be allowed to continue."
"No," the prince agreed, looking defeated. "I must agree with you, Lord Vader. I have not ruled well."
"To be fair," Luke piped up cheerfully, "the Imperial governor of Dachat was neck deep in this plot to destroy the uranium mines, so it is hardly all on you."
Vader turned a stern glance on his son and Piett spoke hastily, "If I may, Prince Nullay, I would advise that you marry and have a child; that would cut your nephew out of the succession and minimize the power of Lady Catarine and her family from wreaking havoc."
"That," Luke said indignantly, "is a lousy reason for having a kid! You should marry and have a child because you want to marry and have a child, not for stupid dynastic reasons."
"That is hardly the way of the galaxy, Skywalker," Piett said in a controlled voice.
"Well, speaking as someone who is on terrible terms with his own father, I just think it stinks. I mean, I presume my sister and I were something of an unwanted accident and just look at..."
"The day your mother told me of her pregnancy was the best day of my life," Vader interrupted furiously.
Luke turned hopefully toward the giant cyborg that was his father and blinked hopefully through large blue eyes. "Really?"
"Really, my son," Vader assured him, placing one enormous hand and squeezing gently. Very gently. So he didn't crush any of his son's bones.
"I would like to be a husband and father," Prince Nullay announced suddenly, "the problem is that the women I could marry are so uninteresting."
Luke, who was looking a tiny bit happy, now looked over in confusion. "What do you mean, the women you could marry?"
"Is it not obvious? I must marry a highly ranked woman with ties to other planetary governments, and they are, one and all, incredibly boring people. Or mean. Or manipulative. Or bossy. Sometimes a nasty combination."
Luke rolled his eyes, "Like your sister in law? Yeah, I wouldn't marry a woman like her. In fact, I would go so far as to pick someone you actually like, but maybe there isn't anyone?"
Nullay looked insulted, "Of course there is. In fact, I believe I am quite in love, but the woman is not ... not worthy of my rank, but it is a pity, because she would be a wonderful queen. Myrna, my favorite Holonet reporter is intelligent, kind, and extremely knowledgeable about fashion."
Vader had decided he had had quite enough, and he had an Emperor to kill.
"So marry her," he barked. "Admiral Piett, inform the Executor that we will arrive on board within the hour. Also, find four detachments of troops to assist in guarding the mines."
"Yes, my lord."
/
Luke's cell/sumptuous quarters aboard the Executor.
"Thank you," Luke said with relief as his mag cuffs separated. "It is really boring being tied up all the time."
His father shook a mechanical finger at his male offspring and intoned, "Do not attempt to escape, my son. These quarters have been carefully designed to hold a Jedi."
Luke shrugged fatalistically. "I would think you are pretty good at stuff like that. So yeah, I hear you. And as a matter of fact, at this second I have no desire to escape. But we don't have all the time in the world, so let's talk killing the Emperor, Ok?"
Vader cycled through three breathing cycles and finally said, with a mixture of anticipation and fear, "What is your insane plan, Son?"
Luke wandered over to a nearby wall, leaped up and grabbed a random shelf holding several plushies, and began doing pull ups, apparently for fun.
"I don't have any ideas yet, Father," the young Jedi declared. "I need to know more about Palpatine and frankly, about you. I mean, the key is surprise. He presumably knows you very well so … if you were going to kill the Emperor, how would you do it?"
Vader watched Luke do exercises for a full minute before answering. "Are you certain you are strong enough for such vigorous activity, Luke?"
Luke frowned as he continued to lift himself up and down. "Of course I am. You dunked me in bacta and made me drink bacta and I am a quick healer. I'm good. Now stop worrying about me and worry about Palpatine. How would you kill him?"
"My preference would be to march up to him and stick a saber through him."
"Like I tried to do to you at Bespin," Luke remarked sadly. "That didn't work too well for me, but maybe you would do better?"
"I would not," the cyborg admitted. "In a fair fight between me and Palpatine, we would be well matched, but he is constantly guarded by Royal Guards and he also can use Force Lightning, which is hard on my cybernetics."
"Force Lightning?" Luke demanded, dropping casually to the floor and then wandering over to look out the window toward the dark side of Dachat. "What is that?"
"You do not wish to know, my son. Palpatine is capable of using the Dark Side to create Lightning, which he transmits towards those he wishes to punish."
Luke turned and looked at his father gravely, his eyes suddenly old. "Like you?"
The great head bowed a little, "Like me, yes, when he is displeased."
"Man, the more I hear about this guy, the more I loathe him," Luke said disapprovingly. "Ok, so what is Palpatine good at?"
Vader stared at him grimly. "He is good at everything, Luke. He is powerful in the Force and a brilliant manipulator and politician. He understands people — he knows how they think, what they want, and how to use them through their own desires."
"Ok, how about piloting? Is he a good pilot?"
"No, he is an adequate pilot but that hardly matters. He has pilots who take him wherever he wishes to go."
"Could some of them be suborned?"
"No," Vader said firmly. "He is very careful to handpick his guards and his pilots and his chefs…"
"So no poisoning," Luke murmured, and wandered over to his bed, whereupon he threw himself gracefully onto the bouncy mattress. "This is very nice, Father, the bed I mean."
"I am glad you approve," Vader said a little uneasily. On the one hand, Luke was a dangerous prisoner. On the other hand, this was his not-so-little boy. For a brief moment, Darth Vader was transported back to one of his last conversations with his beloved wife.
"I want to have the baby on Naboo, Ani. We'll have a nursery set up…"
He shook his head in an attempt to clear it, to submerge those exquisitely painful memories once again, though with the knowledge that he was father to not just a son, but a daughter, it was growing harder and harder to block out the images of Padme's perfect face, her hair, her loving touch…
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, and shut it as his eyes fell on his son's form. Luke had fallen asleep, quite abruptly. That was not, Vader supposed, particularly surprising since the boy had been tortured brutally, then dunked in bacta, and had not slept much since his capture/rescue.
He sighed inwardly. He really needed to write a report to the Emperor concerning the Dachat situation, if for no other reason than to submerge any concerns in his Master that he was lingering near Dachat for too long. On the other hand, he had spent 23 years apart from his son, and Luke was entirely capable of waking up and trying to escape through the ductwork, so…
The Sith marched over to a nearby terminal, entered his private security codes, and began writing.
My Master…
/
2 hours later
"What about droids?"
Darth Vader looked up to observe that Luke had woken up as quickly as he had fallen asleep. The boy was sitting cross legged on the bed, his brow furrowed thoughtfully.
"Droids?" the Sith repeated blankly, closing down his now finished report and turning toward his son.
"Yeah, droids. How is Palpatine with droids? I mean, I know you are mechanically inclined, and so am I. Is the Emperor?"
"Not particularly. In fact, not at all. Palpatine certainly values great weapons — indeed, the Death Star was his pet project — but he does not have intrinsic knowledge of how to design and build mechanicals."
Luke nodded with satisfaction. "Good. Now I have heard that the Emperor spends most of his time in his palace on Imperial Center, right?"
"That is correct."
"Have you been there much?"
"Often," Vader responded with a hidden grimace. He hated the Palace where courtiers and sycophants gathered to exchange credits and favors, where Palpatine called him for punishment and praise. It was like a Hutt's stronghold in some ways, and he was still, after all these years, a slave to his Master.
He would not allow such a fate for his children.
Luke wore a rather diabolical look. "Wonderful. Tell me everything about the mechanical systems, Father. I think I have an idea."