Unknown Location

Two days later

"Good evening, Twi'leks & Togrutas, rancors & Rebels, Sentient mosses & Imperials, Humans, Dugs, and Mandalorians. This is your host, Malanda, and once again it is time for Illumination, the show which reveals the truth about the galaxy, truth that is carefully submerged by the Empire. Now you will remember that only a few days ago, I conducted an interview with Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan in which she revealed that Darth Vader, second in command of the Empire, was formerly the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. In addition, Vader is father to twins, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia Organa herself; their mother is the sadly-deceased Padme Naberrie Amidala Skywalker, who refused to join her husband when he pledged himself to Emperor Palpatine."

Malanda, dressed from neck to toe in an aquamarine dress, her hair rolled high in an exotic green hairdo, took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. She was a brave woman but this next interview scared even her.

"Today, I have yet another special interview, one which will give us even more insight into the Mystery that is Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. Once again, I welcome Princess Leia Organa to the show. Good day, Princess."

"Good day, Malanda," Leia responded composedly, her hands held loosely on her lap, her slender form clad once more in a robe of angelic white. "Thank you for having me here again."

"It is my honor. Well, since we last spoke there have been some developments, I understand?"

Organa's beautiful face darkened as she responded, "Yes, I am afraid that my beloved twin brother, Luke Skywalker, was stupid enough to get himself captured by the Empire."

Mandala gasped, not entirely for show. She had been told that Skywalker was in Imperial custody but it still scared the living moonlight out of her. "I am so sorry, your Highness. Do you know ... how he is being treated?"

Leia leaned back and shrugged. "He is being treated well enough, thankfully. But you can ask him yourself. Luke?"

Mandala turned obediently to a large screen, which showed the famous and rather boyish face of the Rebel poster boy, Luke Skywalker.

(She did not care to admit it, but she literally had a poster of Skywalker on her closet door. He was so cute!)

"Commander Skywalker, welcome to Illumination," Malanda said. "Thank you for joining us today."

"My pleasure, I guess?" Luke responded. "This is definitely a little weird but yeah, it is nice to meet you."

"I understand from Princess Leia that you are in Imperial custody, Commander. I am sorry."

"Yeah," Luke agreed with a grimace, "though it is more accurate to say that I am in Vader custody. My father swooped in and grabbed me and here I am, with shock collar and mag cuffs and the whole ten meters. Hey, it was bound to happen eventually. I mean, it's a big galaxy, but my father could be in the galactic dictionary under Obsessive."

"May I inquire as to your treatment?" Malanda inquired delicately.

"I'm good. Father is kind of a fussbudget about my health actually; I got somewhat injured before he found me, see…"

"You got very injured," Leia said darkly. "Do not downplay it. You were completely reckless and…"

"But," Luke spoke over his sister, "I am good now. Or pretty good. Yeah, I'm good."

Malanda was coming to the regrettable conclusion that Skywalker was cute, but his communication skills were a trifle lacking.

"But we probably don't have all the time in the world," the youth continued, "and Vader wants to talk to you. So, without further ado …"

The screen flashed briefly, to be replaced by the black helmeted head of the Empire's second in command. Malanda sucked in a terrified breath. She knew that Vader was far, far away, but she also knew he had odd powers, and…

"Lord Vader, welcome to Illumination," she managed to say, and was proud that her voice did not tremble.

"I have no time for foolish discourse," the Sith boomed coldly. "I am making a galaxy wide announcement."

"Very well," Malanda replied with admirable calm. "What is your announcement?"

"Upon the discovery that I have two living children, I have decided to turn against Emperor Palpatine, kill him, and install my daughter on the throne of the Empire."

"Excuse me, WHAT?!" Leia Organa shrieked from her position next to Malanda, so loudly that the host winced involuntarily. "I most certainly will not…"

"I told you she wouldn't like…" Luke Skywalker's voice came from across the parsecs."

"Emperor Sheev Palpatine, I am coming for you, and when I find you, you will die!" Vader intoned dramatically, staring directly into the holoscreen, and a moment later, the transmission went dead.

Malanda found herself shaking with fear, but when she turned to her guest, she found Organa shaking with fury. "That rancor! How dare he just go on and say I am going to be Empress? I believe in democracy…"

"I gather you did not know of Lord Vader's intentions?" Malanda asked, suddenly aware of sweat trickling down her back.

Leia rolled her eyes. "No, of course not, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Of all the arrogant, dictatorial … Let me assure your audience that I am not going to be Empress. Absolutely not. And my brother will not be Emperor, either. We are both devoted to the Alliance and to democracy."

Malanda hesitated briefly and then asked delicately, "If you and your brother both refuse to take the throne, do you think that Lord Vader will still attempt to kill the Emperor?"

Leia was flushed with outrage, but after huffing and puffing for thirty seconds, she calmed enough to say, "Oh, I have no doubt he will try. Obviously Vader is furious with Palpatine for no doubt legitimate reasons, and he probably thinks that he can convince me, not that he can. Of all the slimy …"

/

"Well, that went well," Luke said in a sunny tone. He was on the floor now, doing one handed push-ups, so his voice was muffled but his enthusiasm was palpable.

"I am forced to disagree, Luke. Your sister is most stubborn."

Luke leaped to his feet and grinned insouciantly at his fulminating sire. "About the whole Empress thing? Of course she is. You don't really think she is going to ever agree to rule the Empire, do you?"

The Sith's great hands clenched in outrage. "Your sister is born to rule, my son! That is completely obvious!"

Luke quirked one confused eyebrow and then, before Vader's astonished eyes, his blue eyes grew wide and sad. "Why is Leia the one to rule? Why not me? What's wrong with me?"

Vader actually took a horrified step backwards. "My son, there is nothing wrong with you. It is merely that your sister has remarkable political gifts, just like your mother, and you are more of a warrior, and a pilot..."

He trailed away as his son's expression shifted from woebegone to amused. "I'm sorry, Father, that was mean. I'm just giving you a hard time. I know Leia is the political twin. Still, she isn't going to be Empress, of course."

"Why not?" Vader demanded. "She has the skills, the temperament, the giftedness and the strength!"

"Because she is Padme Naberrie Amidala Skywalker's daughter, which means she is as devotee of democracy, and she is your daughter, which means she has a will of durasteel."

"Democracy does not work, Luke," Vader said sternly. "A quadrillion souls cannot be expected to make good decisions. The last years of the Republic were full of incompetence at the political level, and despair and death for those caught up in the endless wars. The galaxy needed a strong leader."

"And obviously the Empire is way better," Luke snarked back. "There is nothing quite like blowing up your daughter's home planet, after all."

Vader literally flinched at this, and Luke's expression softened again. "All right, that was mean too. Listen, Father, when you and our mother got married, you should have been able to look at the genetics involved and realized your kids were going to come out of the womb with a strong idea of how we want to run our lives. I mean, if Mother had lived, and I so wish she had, and you'd gone on to have eight or nine kids, maybe one of them would have been compliant..."

Darth Vader had to battle a full body shudder at this random comment. The thought of nine Skywalker progeny was frankly horrifying. He was not entirely sure the galaxy could survive such a thing.

"Anyway, now that you've set the stage, so to speak, maybe we should talk about the plan more?" Luke inquired hopefully.

/

/

Author Note: I have nine children, but thankfully only the youngest shows signs of wanting to take over the galaxy. And I hope she'll grow out of it.