holy fuckin shit man it's 192fuck and i'm here living on this giant egg in New frickin' york here. my fuckin neighbor, Gatsby (FUCK THAT GUY), and his shitting mansion hooligan shindigs every fucking night who does he fucking think he is, the pope? I'm readin here, but there's this fucking man in a diaper smokin my weeds (Weeds, noun. Ancient Egyptian slang term for dandelions) and i'm fuckin sick of it! Who does this Gatsby cunthole think he is? Who do I think he is? Who does anyone think he is? What the fuck is he look like? No one knows. Well, whatever the fuck. I'm crashin his bitch party with my cousin daisy and his wife Tom Riddlin. We're gonna get to the fuckin bottom of this. This is my egg!
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Okay so check this shit out: fuckin gatsby and his future music turns out this vaginaass is from frick the future or some shit what the fuck. but he's like this young dude and now he's fuckin' my cousin what is this shit who the fuck? and like Thomas the Shit Engine here is like okay with this old future man stick his dongle grongle way up his wife's skin colored coin purse. like it's goin' way deep in her vaginal rectum like shit they might as well have a million babies. oh yeah. my cousin has babies now. i don't think she made them but whatever the fuck it's the 20's. shit's magical. So after a bit of Gatsby creamin up my cousin's onions, we decide to fuck this shit and go to the frickin hotel for no reason. How am i too pay for this? I'm broke as balls here! but like this gatsby quant. fuck him to the rear. He and his rich ass went to fuckin England State University and fought the war! Holy hellaroni! nearly died to death in it too. he then got the mad pudge for my cousin cousa that and's been throwin' these shit fests for her for years to get her to swallow his massive savage!
THE NERVE!
Here I bean playing second banana while he keeps crankin up his shit future diddies while I'm trying to read my college essays here and just cause he wants to stick a leg up my sister's ass and then he's like hey Nick can you go get your cousin Daisy and squeeze her vaginal cavaties onto me pwtty please ol' pal? WHAT HTE FUCKS?! I thought we was friedns, Gats-hole! But here all along you just wanted to fuck monkeys with my cousin holy shit you naughty dog! I oughta fuck his rich ass. I oughta fuck Daisy right in front of him and see how he likes it. Yeah I'm gonna squeeze my vagina into her vagina and make a sandwich and see how he likes it. The monkey he is! Oooooooooooooohhhh!
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well chaps tonight is the night pals, gatsby the frick and Daisy-shit decided to go on a frick fest in a fuckin car and ran over Mrs. Wilson, those menaces. I oughta give em five across the ass! he's dead now and they killed him, the Danish cavalries! What a fuck that was! I hope he gets shot in his pool!
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WELL FUCK MY UNCLE DRY this gatsby guy fuCKIN DIED IN HIS POOL Mr Willson came over and shoved his fist way up his dick and moyrderded him. He's dead now. Dead. D-E-A-D Dead. Dead as a Deadnail. Deader than Dead Flintstone. As Dead as the Dead can die. Pure Deadosity. And guess what like no one showed up to his funural. Not even Daisy, afteer all that fuck butting they made me watch and she doesn't even come to my birthday. Well she can just go fuck
I had a pretty nice time at the funeral. It was quite pleasant really. All of my friends were there. We had a blast. It was marvelous! I hoped we would do it again some time...THEN THE ROYAL FUCK GATDAD SHOWED UP turns out this Great Deadsby used to be a poorhole like me wow that really puts in the fuckin perspective i can't believe this shit. wow I fucking hate rich people dude! THat's it. I'm leavin this egg. It's been infected by the rich people! Fuck Money!