Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something so horrible that she should've never have had to live through it at all. My blemishes show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to endure. They're part of my story that'll invariably be there.
-Miya
A blinding flash blazed throughout the clouded twilight, followed by the usual reverberation of thunder crackling within the horizon. The passing storm gradually rattled the curtained window, filling the inhabitants of the room with therapeutic sounds to sleep to.
Soothing dins or not, a fair-haired young man silently lay awake on the large mattress in the room, his arm around a sleeping violet-haired woman curled up by his side. In his late teens or early twenties, the young man in question had a look of profound sadness upon his face, although his dilemmas and worries were far from being his main interest.
At that moment, the sum of Naruto's attention was focused on the woman in bed with him: she was his wife, his exotic visitant from beyond the stars—Miya was her name in his native tongue.
Her past chased her wherever she went, taunting her with memories of previous mistakes and repulsive reminiscences fit only for nightmares, as she unconsciously fidgeted against her mate. All the while, she tossed and turned, mumbling or whispering words into the dark that were unintelligible.
He tightened his arm around her into a half hug in an attempt to comfort her, doing what he could to ease her emotional pain. No matter how heartfelt the gesture was, it did little to ease the woman, however, as he reached towards her arm, gently stroking the soft skin with his other hand. Her exertions diminished in intensity slightly, but the blond could quickly tell that she was still enduring what he wished she never had to.
The amount of traumatic scarring she sustained during her lifetime wasn't as straightforward to handle at times, even though he hadn't had the greatest of childhoods, being charged with carrying the nine-tailed fox until his final breath.
War is hell; it's an endless abyss that turns people into monsters. The type of change that means, even after it is long over, those that had to walk knee-deep in carnage and sacrifice are forever haunted by the deeds of battle and endlessly plagued by survivors' guilt. So many endeavored to regain whatever piece of themselves they had lost during those prolonged conflicts.
In a sense, some do while others cannot shut out the cries of those who looked to them for reassurance and authority. The weight of leadership was a mantle only very few could handle; it has left many men and women broken and battered beyond repair.
Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is an ailment that weakens and haunts people for the rest of their lives. You can heal a bruise and a splintered bone, but you can't truly mend a mind that has seen far too much devastation in the wake of those who wanted to know the cosmos burn under their feet.
Another flash of lightning lit the room briefly, illumining the sad glance on the young man's face before disappearing, followed by an echo of thunder.
Sighing softly to himself, he still strived to comfort his wife. He would resort to any means to make her content, despite being as emotionally stunted as he was, how he sincerely wished he could take away every nightmare or horrible dream if he could bring the former Sekirei queen that moment of respite.
It may be an act of kindness in most circumstances, but in the matter of him and Miya, Naruto knew it couldn't be more misplaced. A youth filled with glares and hateful criticisms, along with forced isolation, ensured that when he first met the enigmatic wagtail, the two related to each other without even knowing it.
They were similar in multiple aspects, to the point where it was like looking into a mirror and seeing your shadow from within. They both hid behind impassioned masks, their hearts enclosed by hollowed shells made to save them from getting hurt; they were both in the habit of dealing with their demons through either feigned happiness or crude anger.
Shaking his head a little, Naruto cut off that train of thought in favor of the more important task at hand. Shifting to his side, he wrapped his arms more securely around Miya's waist, still offering his tremendous assistance even if it was the only thing he could do.
However, from his new position, the blond could see the tracks of silent tears that had already traveled down her face. The way her lips trembled—he felt his heart clench at that, and he lowered his lips down to hers.
It was a soft kiss to empower his lover through the bond they shared.
With a brief flash of purplish energy filling the room and then dissipating, Naruto could see the strained expression and tautness leaving her as she eventually quieted down and tucked her face further into the blond's body in her sleep. Still, from his laying position, his concerned eyes caught sight of a small smile gracing her lips while she slept.
His blue orbs brightened at the feeling of peace from the link between them as he felt a genuine smile graced his lips as well.
Hacvumja, or cherished one in the language of the Sekirei, is an extraordinary individual who the wagtails bind themselves for the rest of their lives. It wasn't like the usual "you get espoused by a priest or priestess"—you both live together or, in some cases, break up after a certain amount of years together.
To a Sekirei, it wasn't till death do us part—it was a commitment from life till the end. Once they gained their wings and become winged to a mate, they never stray or venture off the path of matrimony.
Miya's dream of having a family of her own was the only thing that kept her from crumbling into a dark, brooding depression or from running into the halls while screaming at the top of her lungs like some crazed lunatic who should be forcefully restrained into a padded cell.
At first, she didn't understand why Naruto would want to deal with a maiden whose heart was forcibly hardened by the tempered flames of war. Who would want a woman who has trouble sleeping at night with nightmares and other night terrors from her times upon the battlefield? It was a perplexity that brought her moments of pause when the young, whiskered man started to pursue her for a relationship and become her life mate.
The very same woman who saw her wedding dress drenched utterly red with the number of people who were struck down by her very blade... The deserving and undeserving blood stained her hands like an unwashable stigma that, even to this day, she could still smell the hemoglobin upon them and feel the wet slickness between her fingertips.
In her eyes, she merely saw herself with too much baggage for any sane man wanting to try to spend years correcting. When someone could quickly seek out a blushing bride that hasn't been through so many tragic events as she has during her life as the pillar of a ravaged race.
To the Jinchuriki, though, he wouldn't have it any other way. She knew the battles he faced from within, and it was something they both confided in each other when it came to life's unfairness; there were no daggers in her eyes nor painted smiles upon her face. Just a genuine understanding that they could lean onto each other in troubling times.
Running his left hand through her lengthy hair, he kisses her forehead tenderly before saying, with affection, "I love you..."
Mumbling within her sleep, she quietly returns the words with some of her own. "Yu Rebo Iea..." she utters in her native tongue, softly with the same affection.
For another night, the burdens of her past slink away into the shadows. Watching and waiting like a condemned man doing push-ups into the far corner, always binding its time to unleash horrors of a time and place that is nothing more than a memory to the infinite spectacle of time. But, not all dreams are doom and gloom; there were a few that the former ruler held close to her heart like a beacon, a beacon that would always shine through the dense fog to allow her safe passage from the rough uncharted waters.
Dreamscape...
"I'm sorry for disturbing you..." Miya says with apprehensiveness in her tone.
"It's ok, Miya, and I hold no ill will from our battle. Even though next time you could cut a guy a little slack with the energy-related sword techniques..." Naruto draws out a little with him rubbing his bandaged chest a little, a sheepish expression on his face while lying in a small bed.
"I'll try..." The Sekirei Queen utters with a little more warmth, a nervous smile upon her face.
"Well, I have to ask. Why are you here? I don't mind you visiting and such but after our situation… I figured you would have left or something?" The bandaged blond questioned the pillar without beating around the bush.
(Intelligible mumble)
"Pardon?" Naruto asks.
"I'm…I am here because of a dream..." The priestess dressed Sekirei mumbles.
Tilting his head to the left a little, Naruto parrots the word with confusion. "A dream?"
"Mhm..." Miya acknowledges.
After a brief pause, she takes a deep breath before speaking to settle herself while looking at the floor.
"A dream... I was dreaming of a dream... Or was it reverie from my distant past... A dream. My fleeting fantasy... Words I was unable to convey that day when you found me... That time when I should have been honest with you. Those thoughts I was unable to carry out because I was so afraid... Meeting the person who will change me. As I wanted myself to change... I fancied for such a purpose... Along...Never-ending desire… That vision changed me... That dream was the incentive for me to resolve what my true purpose was. I think I understand now... That long, long memory of a dream... Perhaps it was a reminiscence of what I nearly gave up such a long time ago."
Naruto listened on, trying to contemplate the meaning around Miya's profound words. The feeling each vowel that left her mouth felt like an unraveling of emotions, much like someone plucking a single thread; the blond could see the older woman wasn't used to saying what she deeply felt within her heart, after keeping it in for so long.
After taking another breath, Miya continued, with her bringing her gaze to him, a look that wasn't filled with fear or uncertainty of her place in the world. It was a stare filled with warmth and understanding, while a small smile returned to her lips.
"...It's funny. We used to be enemies, but now we're together like this, and you still hold no resentment for my actions... In the beginning... I think I saw myself in you. We seemed to overlap with how life felt like throwing so many snares in our way... You were in a similar situation as I was in once upon a time... When I fought you, I could feel the drive and determination to keep fighting, even when your body was beyond broken. You wanted to love me with everything a man could give, and you kept giving until you had nothing left to give. To be reminded of what it was that made my people so special. To love… To love someone with your entire heart and soul and be unafraid to go to your death to protect that devotion… That's why I saw myself in you... But it wasn't that in its simplicity."
Miya looks away, ashamed, before continuing to speak. "I didn't dare to look at myself. I turned on you to run away from it all... I misunderstood your love. But it's different now. I can turn and face my problems, and I won't let my demons haunt my dreams forever..."
After a brief pause, Miya slowly walks over to Naruto's bedside, causing the whiskered teen to take on a more surprised expression; when the weight of Miya's words finally hits him.
"I am me... and you are you. It has all become clear to me now. It's not because I need you as a sanctum for my problems. I need you because I truly want to love, to experience that feeling of hope after overcoming so much sorrow alone. I can say with an honest heart with all my insecurities aside, that I love you… Now and forever..."
The Next Day...
With the suns' soft rays slipping through the blinds of the once darkened bedroom. The sleeping occupant could only groan to himself in a small childish whine of discontent: his eyes flickered open briefly before shutting tightly, as the approaching daylight nearly caused him to see spots. Seeing how the daystar wasn't going to relent in its quest to ruse him from slumber, Naruto could only give a very tired blink before a drawn-out grunt of annoyance left his lips.
Eventfully the blond moves upward into a sitting position, stifling a yawn with one hand as he goes into a stretch.
Looking from his side of the bed, he could already see the spot where Miya usually slept already tucked and folded, with the older woman gone.
'She's more likely in the kitchen, making breakfast.' The blond mused to himself before slipping his legs from under the covers and took a sitting position onto the side of the bed.
It didn't take long to recall the previous night; Miya's episodes were starting to become more frequent, with him emitting a small sigh of resignation, feeling powerless to help her overcome such pain at times. While he was great at giving motivational speeches, it was another matter entirely to follow your advice and try to help someone who went through shitty things in life.
There was a time he thought everything would work itself out, as long as someone only needed a few kind words and a beacon to follow...
I told you it wouldn't be easy, and you can't just snap your fingers and wish it all away. Nor patting someone on the back telling them everything is going to be alright... Her ailment takes patience and understanding with a lot of time. You took the responsibility the day you married her to help her through this challenging time of adjustment. The words of warning his mentor Jiraiya said in passing continued to remind him that he was in for the long haul.
Just thinking about it made him understand why his friend Shikamaru would always say everything was Troublesome.
Slowly getting to his feet, Naruto makes his way to a nearby dresser to pull a set of clothes from within; before saying in a more upbeat tone of voice. "Pervy sage did say that matrimony wouldn't be easy, but I feel that we can get through this roadblock. We're a team, and team Uzumaki plays for keeps!" Tucking his cloth bundle under his arm, he walked to the sliding door that connects the bedroom to the bathroom for his morning shower.
With Miya...
(Jeh iea chyump ni jouch nuggolc?! YU urlouji quem, iea vyugseh, ura iea ulo jeot mequ yuc keymgroais!)
'Do you think my death matters?! I already won, you bitch, all you are doing now is pointless!'
(Valm yum fora! YU feko iea omja ak cholo!)
'Burn in hell! I hope you end up there!'
(Iea nemcgol! Iea junmoja nemcgol! Jyuo, jyuo, jyuo!)
'You monster! You damned monster! Die, die, die!'
One crooked smile could not hold back the boundless faceless faces that seek her soul from the far reaches of hell.
Even though her mate renewed the bond between them, it was still very mentally jarring from the few unpleasant memories that continued to slip through; countless voices in a white noise that crept into the back of her skull screeching like banshees. All the wailing merely gave her migraines, disillusioned stabs of pain racked her body at random, and the worst yet: the actual sentences of the fallen forever recorded in her mind.
(Iea searjm'g cubo oboliemo, meg obom iealcorh…)
'You couldn't save everyone, not even yourself...'
To live with your sins is horrid: finding the key to the door of freedom made it worse.
Taking a moment to gather herself while closing her eyes, she breathed in and out slowly, mentally pushing the voices away into the far recesses of her mind while forcefully dismissing the same faces that glared and snarled at her from her mental sight.
Exhaling once more, she wipes her brow with the sleeve of her purple-colored house robe of the gathered perspiration before bringing her attention back to her task at hand.
Looking at the large skillet filled with various meat and other vegetables, she grabbed hold of a large wooden spoon that sat nearby on the counter and started moving the contents within the pan around. 'If only I could get these persistent voices to stop...' She thought to herself with a forlorn look still upon her face. 'Do I need to take some psychotic medication as Master Jiraiya suggested?' Miya inwardly questioned herself with her face slipping into a frown. Just the thought of her scarfing down pills like a lethargic junkie Isn't a disposition she wanted to put herself in.
Mind-altering medications were crutches that worked both ways; it gave you a break from what bothered you. But, it also made you entirely dependent on it to function normally: to the point of being unable to handle stress or other ailments if you go too long without it.
She saw enough people do things to themselves or others if they were to have a total psychosis, with or without the drugs...
Being distracted by her musings, she was unaware of the light footsteps of someone approaching behind her. A sudden hand pressing itself upon her shoulder causes the woman to stiffen from the abrupt contact, dismissing her thoughts and nearly causing her to jump.
Inwardly she was happy she kept her composure. If it were anyone else that tried such a stunt, outside of her husband, she wouldn't be surprised if she embedded the wooden spoon into their skull.
"Good morning, Miya!" A young voice called out in a joyful, upbeat tone.
"Good morning, my little fledgling..." The elder Sekirei responded neutrally, with an edge of annoyance in her tone, turning her head slightly to the speaker, all the while trying to keep the twitch of her brow to a minimum.
Taking a moment to look over the newcomer that came into the kitchen, a young woman around 5'9 in height that seemed to be around 21 stood before the older alien with a small but cheerful smile. She had honey blonde color hair that was a few shades darker than her husbands that passed her rear in length, with light brown eyes—dressed in a simple white T-shirt that did nothing to hide her massive bust and black shorts, along with a pair of white socks upon her feet.
Sekirei, number 8, affectionately named Shizuka by Naruto, could quickly turn heads with her figure, and her bright and optimistic attitude gave off that girl next door kind of feel.
"Need a hand with anything ni woom? The young woman asks, offering her assistance while walking around to the other woman's side.
Shaking her head a little before saying. "Not with this, although I wouldn't mind if you could peel and dice some of the daikon radishes and potatoes I haven't gotten to yet." Nudging with her head at the cutting board with a couple of potatoes and radishes next to a paring knife.
She already had two piles of vegetables near her, the piles consisting of unpeeled ones, and carefully organized stacks of fully prepared and ready to cook portions.
"You got it!" The girl states with a grin while moving to her objective. "You know..." Shizuka starts to say with concern as she picks up the knife to begin her task diverting into the skin of a potato. "If you need anything that could help you sleep, I'm sure we still got something you could take to ensure you're sleeping peacefully through the night."
"I'm fine." Was number 1's natural response, twitching slightly at the offer of medication.
"I'm serious ni woom. I start to worry when I keep feeling your emotions scatter all over the place when you cannot sleep... I know it also worries our Ashikabi deeply when he feels it through the bond as well."
"There's nothing to worry about number 8; having him there makes things better." The older woman's tone started to take on a heated edge that hinted to the younger woman that she didn't want to have this kind of talk right now. "Please finish what I have asked so that I can prepare breakfast!" She snapped lightly, keeping her more diverse thoughts to herself.
Opening her mouth before closing, the young wagtail could only sigh before saying with a tone of empathy to the older woman's plight, the look of benevolentness in her light brown eyes taking on a compassionate gleam. "I understand, Miya. You know I want to help. You have to be willing to trust me more. We're strong together as a family when you aren't pushing me away..." With her initial concerns said, Shizuka continued with her task of stripping away another potato's skin in utter silence.
The sounds of cutlery against vegetables were the only sound to permeate throughout the kitchen.
The former Queen knew the last few days had been hectic for both of them. Before, it seemed like they had a beautiful little place in the world where they could hold up and live in relative peace with their husband. From there, it had been a whirlwind of events, contending with Tsunade wanting him to come back home, the Akatsuki taking more of an active role in trying to pry their Ashikabi from them. Her having more and more episodes from the unwanted stress of keeping him safe and dealing with his wayward friend wanting to kill him for sins that he never committed to the Uchiha clan.
Since the day of her wings, it felt like everything did a complete 180 with the sudden pace of change. To her, it was becoming a bit much to keep up!
New worries and her old concerns and anxieties were still there as well, the same problems with different colors of paint brushed upon that worn-out canvas...
Looking over at the blond out of the corner of her eye, Miya knew deep down that her little feather did have her best intentions at heart. Shizuka lost just as much as she had, and the young woman was at least striving to move on and not hold onto those bitter feelings of resentment. There was only so much you could beat on a dead horse until it became silly and idiotic, something that the elder wagtail was still coming to grips with...
Reaching over and placing her hand onto the young blonds' back, a small gesture of tenderness by an individual that was still relearning how to be a wagtail. Number 1 gently traces her fingertips across her nape a little with it resting onto her shoulder, even if it wasn't much; it was the thought that counted that made the girl smile a bit more from the motion.
Although one thought lingered, was this world truly ready for the Sekirei to settle and develop a community? Or was it already too far gone with racial anxiety and infighting for the wagtails to accommodate to an ever-growing civilization that looked for every reason to run a pointed blade at each other.
As the morning continues to move forward, Miya could only hope that things will be better, not only for herself but for the precious few that survived alongside her from the very beginning...