AN: WARNING: This chapter is long as FUCK. I crammed so much shit in here to stick to my promise of 3 chapters, so only 2 more! This one jumps around a lot because there's a lot going on, I might add a short summary of it so people can skip it if it's too long, idk! Also sorry this took so long, it's super long, and i've been busy (see: been playing a lot of guilty gear and working), but I'm hoping to not have as long between the next two... ANYWAYS: Enjoy!
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[Day of the exam, Kage both fifteen minutes of tournament start]
"It's weird the Hokage isn't here yet right?" Mei gestured to the empty chair. "Like that dude's for the Sound village, and no offense, but I've never even heard of that village."
"None taken, we are a new village" the very generic looking man spoke in an equally generic voice.
"I mean he is pretty old" Rasa tried to ignore the overly generic man and just talked to Mei. "If I was his age I wouldn't even want to host an exam let alone show up for it."
"We could probably delay it if he doesn't show up, would it be rude to start without him?"
"I think so, but I'm sure no one wants to come back tomorrow to watch this."
"Mei this sucks! I thought I was coming here to take the exam!" Nori, her newest bodyguard and swordsmen, was also becoming a problem.
"The file we got for this clearly said we're just her escorts as members of the swordsmen" Chojuro did his best to keep her in check.
"You know I can't fucking read Churo."
"That's not my name! I'm the most senior swordsman so I deserve to at least be called by my name!"
"My name's Churo I'm old, respect me" Nori had perfected her mocking Chojuro impression months back.
"Nori don't antagonize him, you're representing the village" Mei would have preferred to avoid scolding her bodyguards, she also would have preferred having bodyguards that weren't literal children.
"Ah kids, it's hardest when they're in their teens" Rasa had heard that but didn't really raise his own children enough to know if it was true.
"They definitely aren't my kids."
"I was found in a dumpster!"
"That's uh" he also wasn't sure how to respond to that.
"We're here!" Hiruzen entered the box, dragging a still working Rōzu in with him. "With time to spare too, and people say I'm losing my touch."
"You forgot the funny hat in the office."
"Goddammit" hatless he headed to the railing to give his intro speech.
"Oh I never actually got my visitor pass for today" Chojuro was reminded of this seeing all the paperwork in the box. "Is that fine?"
"Yeah well, you and most of the people here today" they had only finished getting those filed earlier today.
"Isn't that like a huge security risk?"
"Look, when you have to figure out all this shit in the span of a week, come back to me. I am here to stamp papers and see my son beat up some other kids."
"Oh my kids are in this too" Rasa felt confident he could nail this interaction.
"Which one are yours?"
"All the ones from the sand."
"No offense, but I will be cheering very loudly for my kid to kick out their teeth later."
"Uh, right" he'd overestimated himself.
"Everyone's trip here wasn't too bad I hope?" With his speech finished up Hirzuen took his seat.
"As bad as any trip through the desert."
"Aside from my bodyguards, it's been a relaxing outing for me."
"I too had a swell time getting here."
"Right" Hiruzen was sure he should know who this generic man was, but could not put a name to the face. "And it's great to see a small village like yours make it out for this."
"Thanks."
"So when do the children actually start fighting?" Rōzu was running low on paper to stamp.
"Whenever Genma kicks things off, he's probably wrapping up his preamble with them now."
"A shame you won't get to watch!" a voice called out from behind the wall of the box. "SNAKE ATTACK!"
"Does he mean snea-" Rasa was interrupted by a giant snake bursting through the wall and carrying the Hokage off. "Oh he did mean snake."
"Deidara get here now" the man from the sound leapt towards Rasa. "Keep the Mizukage busy."
[Day of Exam, in the pit]
"Just remember to make the fights interesting for the audience" Genma looked over the plethora of participants. "If you can't just try and make it quick."
"Why is everyone looking at me?" Shikarmaru didn't like the looks from his fellow leaf ninja.
"Your moves are kinda boring" Naruto was willing to just come out and say it.
"Whatever" he started heading for the stands with the rest of the fighters.
"Alright you two" Genma stood between Naruto and Neji. "The rules are the same as last time, you either give up or die, if it's obvious the fight is over I will cut it sho-"
His explanation was cut off by a giant snake bursting out of the Kage box and into the ring. The three of them managed to avoid being crushed beneath it, but couldn't escape the shower of gore as the Hokage burst out from it's stomach.
"Alright, I only know one person who could do this" Hiruzen tore off his blood soaked robe and looked around. "So let's get to it."
"You took the words right out of my mouth" Orochimaru climbed out of the snake as well.
"So like" Naruto looked at the chaos that was now consuming the arena. "Is my fight canceled?"
"Oh don't worry" Kabuto also climbed out of the snake. "I've go-"
"YES YES YES YES" sure, he could tell there was something amiss right now, but Naruto was finally getting what he wanted. Before Kabuto could finish his sentence Naruto was running right towards him.
"He's an eager one huh" Kisame came out of the snake as well and watched Kabuto dodge away from the boy.
"LET ME FINISH DAMMIT! I've got someone here for you to fight!"
"NO!" Naruto made clones to throw himself at Kabuto faster. "I HAVE BEEN DENIED THE CHANCE TO BEAT YOUR ASS ONCE TOO MANY!"
With the sudden and violent speed boost Naruto crashed into Kabuto's head throwing them both to the floor. While the two of them wriggled around on the floor the Sound Four also emerged from the snake.
"Hey is that kid beating up Kabuto?" Tauya was the first to spot them.
"Yeah, I got twenty on the kid" Kisame was enjoying watching this too much to intervene.
"What fuck that I wanna bet against Kabuto too!"
"Well we can't all bet against him, that's not how betting works."
"Man fuck this, let's go trap that guy in a barrier or whatever" with a few additional cheers for Naruto to kick his teeth in the Sound Four went to do their job.
"Hm, well I mean, Kabuto's clearly got a handle on this kid" Kisame looked around the arena. "So you can help him with that and I'll look for the one-tails kid."
"Alright" Kimimaro, the last person within the snake, headed over to the scuffle.
"And avoid any" Kisame paused his warning as a good part of the arena was blown apart by Deidara. "All of that debris, avoid that."
[Start of attack on Konoha, at the Academy]
"Stay orderly as you move into the shelter" Iruka was doing his best to keep the peace with the kids. So far there hadn't been any one coming after them, but the signs of fighting were getting closer with each passing moment.
"What's happening in the village?" Konohamaru had stopped to look out at the village.
"It's hard to explain, but you don't need to worry about it, you'll be safe inside the shelter."
"Well come on now" a team of three sound ninjas had found the shelter entrance. "Don't go lying to a kid right at the end like that."
"It's not a lie, I can guarantee that" Iruka didn't have a good read on their abilities, and the other teachers were inside the shelter already so it'd be three on one, but he had to at least sound confident.
"Well we got a tough guy over here" the leader of the group pulled out some odd two pronged tool.
Not wanting to give them a chance to get into the shelter, Iruka leapt into action first. Using the Earth Flow River jutsu he forced them to back away. The unarmed ninja launched a counter attack by pelting him with shuriken to create an opening for their leader to move in. He couldn't avoid all of the projectiles, but managed to come out of it with only a few minor cuts. Using a kunai Iruka parried an incoming attack from the odd tool.
"FUCK" upon contact with his kunai the tool let out a high pitched sound that split into his head.
"Yeah people always fall for that trick" capitalizing on this the leader swept out his legs and slammed Iruka to the ground. He managed to regain his composure in time to avoid getting his head stomped on.
He needed to make space against this guy and his weapon, but doing so would give them a chance to get to the shelter. Iruka needed to keep them all occupied until backup could get to him. Using his position on the ground he swept out at the leaders legs and got back on his feet. His attack hadn't landed but bought him the moment he needed to stand again. Scanning the area he couldn't find one of them.
"Up here!" The shout gave him just enough time to brace as the man crashed down onto him.
Dazed from his newest impact with the ground, Iruka failed to defend against the next hits from the man on him. Playing up his current state he discreetly went through the seals for his next move. Using the mud from before he blasted the man off him with the Earth Dragon Bullet jutsu.
"Get back down there!" the third man slid into his legs knocking him back over as he stood back up again.
"I'm getting really sick of being on the ground you know!" Iruka was struggling to avoid getting pinned down by this man.
"Shame" the leader flicked his tool next to Iruka's head, letting out another sonic attack.
With this latest attack to disorient him the other man got him in a hold on the ground. Iruka was thoroughly beaten, and was sure the other teachers wouldn't stand much of a chance against these three. As the ringing in his ears stopped and he could make sense of what was going on Iruka saw the cavalry coming in.
"Nobody gets to kick this loser's ass but me!" Mizuki, still in a bright orange prison jumpsuit, landed a kickflip directly onto the leader's head, throwing him to the floor with a sickeningly loud crack.
"Not exactly what I wanted to hear" without the sound to immobilize him Iruka swapped with a log to get out of the hold. "But I'll take it."
[Back at the arena]
"THIS IS NOT MY FAULT" Rōzu was doing their best to not get blown up while also dealing with Chojuro.
"YOU ADMITTED IT WAS A SECURITY RISK" he had unveiled his sword and was using it's hammer form to try and crush Deidara and his bird.
"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WE'D BE INVADED BY TWINKS!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS A TWINK?"
"THAT GUY!" Rōzu punctated this by firing bone bullets at the bird.
"STOP ATTACKING ME!" Deidara did not like dealing with all these long ranged things. "SASORI WHY AREN'T YOU DEALING WITH THEM!"
"BUSY!" Having ditched his disguise once it caught fire, Sasori was now trying to avoid the lava and gold sand being shot at him.
"Can you take him out of the air already!" Rōzu didn't want to waste all these bones trying to force Deidara into hammer position.
"It is not as easy as you think!" Chojuro was having a hard time using the hammer with how far away Deidara was staying.
"I got him!" Nori finished her own attack prep and fired a lightning spear from her swords at the bird.
"Oh shit" seeing the lightning coming at him, but having just dodged away from the hammer, Deidara didn't have time to maneuver the bird again.
With a final massive explosion that shook the area, Deidara blasted off. This managed to halt the fighting momentarily, leaving most of the people in the arena too buried to act.
"This sucks" Rōzu was in the latter category as more of the arena broke apart. "I bet the Hokage is having a great time in that box."
[In the box]
"THIS SUCKS" Hiruzen was dealing with the first two Hokages and hating it. "I was one year off retirement, one year!"
"Well you should've picked a better successor then" Orochimaru was having an amazing time watching him get thrown around.
"Oh my god, get over it already!" dodging over a water blast from the second he shot an annoyed look at his old student. "It's been like thirteen years."
"Oh I'll be over it once Konoha is a crater!"
[Back in the arena]
"You're quite good at dodging" Kimimaro's aim was to just immobilize him, but Naruto was still holding his own against them both.
"It'd help if you stopped holding back!" Kabuto was giving him no such handicap, as he was quite pissed at the kid.
"What, you're too big a chicken to fight me one on one?" Naruto was pretty annoyed by Kimimaro entering the fight. Not only did he have bone powers, which made Naruto jealous, he also had incredibly good aim.
"I am hundreds of times stronger than you kid!"
"Bawk bawk!"
"I'M NOT A FUCKING CHICKEN!" Kabuto had had enough. "KIMIMARO FUCK OFF!"
"This is our mission."
"See, even he knows you couldn't beat me alone" Naruto liked his odds a lot better without him there.
Before Kabuto could get even more heated, the lightning spear hit the bird. The further destruction of the arena trapped the three of them. Kimimaro had moved in to avoid losing track of Naruto and was now trapped with him.
"So, how'd you get bone powers?"
"I was born with them" The lack of panic from him was a bit confusing to Kimimaro.
"Dammit" Naruto huffed and wiggled around to try and loosen his position.
"You know we're here to capture you right?"
"Shockingly this has happened before, just on a smaller scale. I figure it'll all work itself out."
"Well, as long as you remain compliant we'll have no issues."
"I mean we're related so I figure we're cool."
"We are not related, I can tell you that for a fact."
"No we've gotta be, you've got bone powers and my mom's got bone powers, so unless I'm missing something we're related."
"I believe you're missing something" Kimimaro was pretty sure that's what being the sole survivor of a clan meant.
"Well fine you'll just have to meet my mom and find out."
"Again, my job is to kidnap you" the complete lack of concern was starting to get to him.
"Nah we're like cousins so that'd be weird."
"Well once my allies dig us out and detain you I think you'll change your tune."
"Oh I can have us out of here in no time at all."
"Then why are you staying trapped with someone who is trying to kidnap you?"
"It's called familial bonding."
"If I agree to meet your mom to disprove your idea of being my relative, will you get us out of here?"
"Oh hell yea" Naruto cut his thumb and grinned.
[With Sasuke, but some time ago]
"That is one big snake" He and the rest of the genin had just made it to their waiting area as the snake burst into the ring.
"This rules" Shikamaru watched the mayhem unfold, knowing it meant the exam was officially canceled.
"Oh hey Naruto's finally getting to fight that guy" Sasuke watched his friend leapt at Kabuto. "Good for him."
"So I figure we can just hide out here" Shikamaru was already laying on the floor.
"You, me" Gaara was pointing at Sasuke from across the box. "Fight."
"No way you beat the hell out of Lee, and he beat the hell out of me" he'd seen what this weird kid could do, and without a tournament setting, he wasn't going to fight him.
"Gaara come on, we should just go find dad and then get ready to leave" Temari vaguely gestured to where all the explosions were happening.
"No" he folded his arms and some sand started floating towards Sasuke. "Either he fights me, or I'll kill him."
"Whoa whoa whoa" not a fan of these terms Sasuke tried to think up a way out of this. "What if we just chilled out with the killing me talk, and uh…"
He looked around for any other possible topic to redirect Gaara to, luckily, one came to him.
"This guy!" he pointed at Kisame, who was climbing the wall up to the box. "I mean he's big and blue, and got a thing on his back. That's more interesting than my corpse."
"I've got a thing on my back, not interested."
"Well, shit" Sasuke did not like how close the sand was getting to him now.
"Ah great!" Kisame had made it to the box. "I was worried you'd run off in all the mayhem."
"He is quite big" Kankuro voiced the collective thought within the box.
"Still don't care" the sand lunged for Sasuke.
"Well geez relax there kid" Kisame slashed the sand with Samehada, causing it to harmlessly scatter around the room.
"Mr. Blue guy."
"I usually go by Kisame."
"Regardless, thanks for that" Sasuke probably could have dodged it, but was glad he didn't have to.
"Why are you here exactly?" The leader from the Mist genin decided to speak up. "You're kind of a wanted man, you know?"
"Oh hey it's nice to see kids from back home, I'm just here to grab that kid and then skedaddle" he pointed to Gaara.
"I've never heard a wanted man say skedaddle before" Sasuke had of course only met one other wanted man before.
"Well it's quite common I assure you."
"Sorry back it up" Temari and Kankuro had defensively moved between him and Gaara. "Why are you here for him?"
"It's a really long story, so I'd rather just skip to the grabbing and skedaddling."
"And I'd rather fight him," Gaara pointed to Sasuke.
"I'm on team you should go with the nice man."
"I think I've come up with a way to make everyone happy" Kisame headed over to the door. "You two can have a fun little match, and if uh, this kid."
"Sasuke."
"If Sasuke wins you come with me, and if you win you don't, sounds good?"
"Finally" Gaara headed to the door with him.
"Ah shit."
[With Sasuke, currently]
With Kisame running interference on any of the invading ninja, the clearing they were fighting in was left entirely undisturbed by outsiders. Unfortunately, Sasuke had been hoping for interference in the fight.
"This is all you've got?" Gaara was clearly bored watching him.
"It's a lot harder when you have to move to do anything" he was getting pretty tired from dodging the sand. His game plan for fighting Gaara in the exam was to blast him with fire and hope for the best.
"COME ON KID PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!" In between knocking away the Sound Ninja that got too close, Kisame was doing his best to encourage Sasuke. "I NEED YOU TO WIN THIS!"
"I should've just gone after Kabuto with Naruto."
[With Naruto]
"Well that's" Kimimaro was now on top of a large blue toad with Naruto. "One way to do this."
"That's kind of all I needed Gamahiro, so if you want you can just go home."
"Alright, good luck with all of this" the toad gestured to the destroyed arena around them before poofing away.
"Now let's go find my mom!" Naruto grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the box.
"You think your mom's in there?" Kimimaro was pretty sure there should only be two people in the box.
"Well no, but the old man should know, can he hear me through this thing?"
"I'm not sure?"
"Dammit, where's Sasuke when you need him?" After a quick check for Sasuke, Naruto went up to the wall of the box. "HEY OLD MAN HAVE YOU SEEN MY MOM AROUND HERE!"
"I'M A BIT BUSY!" Hiruzen was currently trying to avoid being torn in half by his two predecessors.
"Well damn that was my only lead" he furrowed his brow trying to think where they'd be.
"Naruto what the hell happened here?" Sakura heard his yell and came over to them. "Me and Kakashi get here like twenty minutes late and everything's gone to hell!"
"I dunno, some big snake, which is weirdly missing now, interrupted my fight. Kabuto was here, I beat him up, and now I've got a cousin!" He ended by gesturing to Kimimaro.
"Again, I am here to kidnap you, we are not related" every time he said it he could feel Naruto willfully ignoring it harder.
"Ignore him, he's being weird, have you seen my mom?"
"Focus!" Sakura bonked him on the head. "Where's everyone else? What's up with this box? Why is he trying to kidnap you!"
"I don't know, in the rubble?" Naruto rubbed the top of his head while glaring at her. "The old man's in it for some reason, and like I said before, he's not."
"Ok, for the most part that was helpful, now do you know why the arena is destroyed?"
"I think something blew up? I was too busy kicking Kabuto's ass to notice."
"I'm gonna go look for literally anyone else, don't get kidnapped by your cousin."
"Not his cousin."
"He can't until we find my mom so we're good on that front."
"Right just, sure" Sakura headed for a better vantage point.
"Oh if you find Sasuke tell him I need his help! I'll be waiting here!"
She gave him a thumbs up while heading off, leaving the two of them to sit by the box. Kimimaro was enjoying the relative quiet now that they were alone.
"So you got any friends cuz?"
Even if it was tragically too short.
[With Itachi]
"People always underestimate me these days" Itachi had dealt with a nearby squad and was talking to their bodies. "Is it the cane? I don't really need it, it's just nice to have on hand."
"Caw" the bird he'd been keeping around for company was doing it's best to talk back.
"I'm still in the books right? I know I've been out of ANBU but people should still know me!"
"Caw."
"Don't you sass me I've been a ninja since I was seven, seven!"
"So you seem to be doing just fine" Kakashi had swept the area by the arena and found him. "Any chance you've seen your brother?"
"Well I was on my way to watch his fight when I ran into these guys."
"In case you haven't heard, the exam is kind of cancelled, also we're being invaded I guess?"
"Ok give me a moment and I can find Sasuke" Itachi had some birds specifically for that purpose.
"Great, Naruto needed him for something, and the Hokage needs them to not die, so no pressure really."
"You can fill me in on the way."
"I think you're up to speed now" Kakashi brought out his own summons. "And if you're on Sasuke duty I can focus on getting the bad guys."
[With Iruka and Mizuki]
"So the city is not only full of these guys" Iruka gestured to the beaten sound team. "But also all the criminals?"
"Yeah it was a pretty good plan on their part" Mizuki had filled him in on how he got out of jail. "Like I'd probably have done that in their shoes."
"It's definitely going to make getting around the village more difficult" he hoped getting the drop on people and having Mizuki around would make any future fights easier.
"I mean I just gotta go that way til I'm out of the village so not really."
"You're leaving?"
"Uh yeah dude I'm kind of an escaped criminal! I can't really stick around here."
"You could help me at least!"
"I did! Did you already forget me saving you from getting your ass beat?"
"You could help me some more? This place is our home. I know you'd feel bad just ditching it right now!"
"I mean you say that, but you also had no idea I was planning to rob the Hokage using children."
"It only gets worse every time you say that outloud, like, man why was that your plan?"
"That's besides the point, I'm heading out, have a good life bro" Mizuki held out a fist to him.
"I'll tell people I saw you get blown up on my way into the village" Iruka bumped knuckles with him. "Just, try not to cause a ruckus."
"No promises man, but don't worry, you've earned those points back."
With that final line Mizuki made his way towards the village limits. With the bunker closed up he felt confident the students would be safe, he just had to worry about himself now. Steeling himself Iruka headed into the streets, it didn't take long to find a fight. Or the end of one.
"More meat for the grinder!" A blood soaked sound ninja pointed his oversized cleavers at him.
"Why is this the guy I found, I bet Kakashi hasn't had to fight any weirdos" he drew a kunai to prepare for the fight.
[With Kakashi]
"Man these guys have all been really boring" he'd taken down a squad of identical sound ninja. "Like are they quintuplets?"
[Back with Iruka]
"COULD YOU STOP SAYING WEIRD SHIT" Iruka had clashed with this guy once, and he said so many disgusting things already.
"Oh this meat is loud! What sound will you make when I pop your bones?"
"See that is specifically what I didn't want to hear."
Wanting to get this fight finished up soon Iruka made the next move. Using his free hands to discreetly do hand seals he clashed with one of the man's blades. As he swung in with the other blade Iruka aimed his free hand at his arm.
"Lightning Strike" firing off a blast of lightning he shot the man's arm off.
"FUCKING HELL" with the rush of pain from losing his arm the man pushed all of his weight onto his blade. It broke past the kunai Iruka used to hold it and slashed across his chest.
"FUCK" it was his turn to scream in pain now as he leapt away. He didn't have time to check the wound, but he could tell it was deep.
He could see that the other man was yelling something at him, but it was getting hard for him to focus on that now. Needing to get this over with now Iruka threw two kunai and prepared another Lightning Strike. Fortunately for him, the kunai got the job done. Being down an arm destroyed the man's balance and he failed to block them both.
"Now to get to the hospital" he was doing his best to hold the wound closed while moving.
"Well damn you killed that freak" the arrival of yet another group of sound ninja caused him to stop. "Sorry to jump in like vultures here, but it's kind of our job."
Before he could reveal his last words, he decided on 'Fuck off,' a thick mist covered the street. A few moments later it lifted, and all the sound ninja were dead.
"Well you look like shit" Zabuza pulled his sword out of a body. "But you make really good bait."
"Hospital please" blood was starting to pour out of his mouth now too.
"Oh yep you definitely need a hospital" sheathing his sword Zabuza grabbed him and started to move.
[With Rōzu]
"They better rebuild this shit with weaker stone" it had taken them a good while to dig their way out of the rubble. They couldn't see the large bird raining bombs, which was a good sign, or anyone else, which was a bad sign.
"HMROH" A nearby pile of rocks starting shouting at them.
"Dammit I just got done with my pile, can't you get yourself out?"
"HMRPH!"
"Yeah yeah" with a sigh they started shifting the rocks away to dig out whoever this was.
While they tossed stones off them a few other nearby piles began to shift. Rasa managed to get himself out by shoving the rocks off with his sand, Mei melted her way out of the one pile.
"Well this is just great, we had two swordsmen still with the village" she helped shift rocks off the pile with Rōzu. "And now they might be crushed under rocks."
"I think one of those guys is my neighbor?"
"I really doubt that."
"No for real, he's got a big sword, his name is like, uh, Zabzuba?"
"Zabuza?"
"Yeah that's the guy!"
"No offense, but I'll believe it when I see it."
"Yeah that's fair."
With Mei's help they managed to free Chojuro before he got too crushed. The pile left to Rasa had a knocked out Nori in it, which just left a final section of rubble.
"I mean maybe he's dead?" Rōzu preferred that since it'd be the easiest option for them.
To answer that question, a ton of puppets burst out of the rubble to attack them all. After dodging away from the horde of puppets Mei and Rasa launched their counterattacks. Rōzu didn't know a lot about puppets, and had caught sight of Naruto. Assuming the two Kage could handle this they snuck off towards the box.
"I see you've made a new friend?" As far as they could tell there was no direct threat to Naruto from this other kid.
"Better!" Naruto hopped to his feet to present Kimimaro. "I found a cousin!"
"For the last time, we are not related."
"Well uh" They'd had their own red marks covered up years ago, but could certainly recognize his. "He's actually kind of right about that."
"No he's" Kimimaro paused his protest as they grew bone blades out of their arm. "Oh. This is. Unexpected."
"Trust me, I know."
[With Sasuke]
"JUST HIT HIM HE'S STANDING STILL!" Kisame's attempt to coach Sasuke had turned into a lot of yelling.
"IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS!" Sasuke was at the end of his rope. Between Gaara who was trying to kill him, and all of the shouting about how easy it should be to beat him, he wanted out of this fight.
Before a wave of sand could crush him from behind, Sasuke was carried out of harms way by a small murder of crows. Seeing Itachi form out of the birds he felt relief, which quickly turned to anger.
"It's just sand, hit it with fire" he opened by mockingly quoting his brother.
"What?" Itachi was too focused on everything else to remember saying that.
"That!"
"Well it looks like normal sand, did you tr-"
"Yes I tried hitting it with fire! It didn't work!"
"Hey whoa whoa" Kisame entered the fight trying to wave Itachi off. "Kids only get out of here!"
"Kids only?"
"It's complicated, now get on out of here! Unless you're gonna teach this kid how to win, I really kind of need him to win."
"Sasuke."
"Yea?"
"Naruto's still in the arena, the Hokage needs the two of you."
"No no no" Kisame blocked the way to the arena. "He needs to beat up that sand kid!"
"Sasuke, why do you need to beat up that kid?"
"Because this blue guy made a deal with him involving our fight, and that kid wants to kill me!"
"Oh he doesn't want to kill you, right Gaara?" Kisame turned to said murderous child.
"No I do."
"Well, uh, right. Either way I need you in the fight kid."
"Sasuke, go find Naruto, I'll handle everything here" Itachi put his cane down and rolled his shoulders.
"Deal!" To aid in his escape Sasuke threw a handful of smoke bombs. When the smoke cleared he was being held by a leg by Kisame.
"You know I'm trained to track people down and kill them in mist right?"
"Why would I know that?"
"Well I've got a big sword and I'm from the mist, it's kind of our thing."
"Oh like Zabuza, ok yeah I knew that."
"Ah nice how is he?"
"Lives next door to my best friend, so, probably pretty annoyed."
"Loud kid?'
"Loud family."
"Yeah he probably hates that, I'll have to stop by and see him while I'm here."
"Sasuke."
"Yea?"
"Why are you chatting with the man keeping you here against your will?" Itachi had a good point.
"My escape plan kind of failed so I'm just being polite."
"Can we get back to fighting?" Gaara had been patiently waiting for a while now.
"You gonna try and run if I put you down?"
"What? Me? Run away from that guy?"
"So yeah."
"I'm more of a teamwork guy you know, not too good at one on one's."
"Well" Kisame drew his arm back and threw him towards Gaara. "Practice makes perfect kid!"
Sasuke was once again saved by the crows before a sand hand could catch him. The birds dropped him behind Kisame, opening the path to the arena.
"Look guy" Kisame turned to Itachi. "I really need this kid to fight that other kid so could you cut it out with helping him escape?"
"First of all, my name's Itachi," he turned his Sharingan on. "And secondly, make me."
[Back in the arena]
"So you just watched the rest of the clan die, and then left?" Rōzu was trying to parse Kimimaro's backstory. "And then the snake guy in there took you in?"
"Yeah basically."
"Wow, glad my dad was a coward and just left the country before all that shit went down."
"Yeah in hindsight that was probably the better move" Kimimaro was also having a hard time no longer being the last of his clan. "But at least between us both the clan won't go extinct."
"I mean, sure, yeah, I'm totally out here, uh, reproducing."
"I have met your son, yes" he gestured to Naruto.
"Well he's actually adopted, so no bone powers for him."
"You seem young enough to have more kids."
"I'm just gonna ignore that because I'm not even old, and move to more relevant questions, like why are you here?"
"Right, uh' Kimimaro had hoped to avoid this topic. "Oh wow look at that!"
Conveniently for him this is when Sasuke showed up. His arrival pulled Naruto back into the conversation, since it was no longer about genocide.
"Itachi said I needed to find you?" He was out of breath from all the running for his life, but managed to get that out.
"Oh well, I already found my mom so you're not really needed now."
"HELP ME, ANYONE!" The Hokage's scream of pain reminded them all that he was still in the box.
"Oh we could probably get in there" Naruto hadn't even considered that before.
"That's impossible, this barrier is impenetrable, it's…." Kimimaro paused as he watched them hold hands and appear inside of it before showing back up by Rōzu. "Oh."
"Ok so we'll drop you in there cause it looks like way too much is going on in there for us" Naruto grabbed one of their hands.
"What."
Before they could stop the two boys, Rōzu was now in the box. The two were already gone by the time they realized the shitshow they'd been dropped in.
"Kakashi would be good too, right?" Sasuke was running through their list of tagged people.
"Yeah for sure!"
"What the" Kakashi had been in the middle of tearing a man's head off, and was now watching Rōzu and the Hokage do their best to avoid dying.
"Iruka?"
They saw him in the hospital with Zabuza and decided he was out, but luckily they had a back up right there.
"Hm, there are a lot of people in here now" Orochimaru had not planned on this happening as the two brought more and more people into the box.
"Oh Jiraya would be a good idea!"
"Who?"
"Oh right you've never met him, shit he's not tagged either. Hm."
"We could get my mom too?" Sasuke saw no one else who was good at fighting on the list.
"Oh yeah!"
[With Mikoto]
"Thanks for the help Gai" she'd been ambushed on her way to the arena, and luckily Gai ambushed them.
"Of course" he flashed a smile and thumbs up. "But we should get moving, one of Kakashi's dogs said there's fighting all over."
"Of course there is" she'd been hoping for an easy day off.
"Hey mom!" Their plan to move into the village was put on hold as Naruto and Sasuke appeared.
"Oh and Gai he'd be great!" Naruto grabbed hold of him while Sasuke took Mikoto's hand.
"Great for wh-"
Before she could get the question out they'd dropped her and Gai in the box. Kakashi and Rōzu were fighting the first Hokage, Zabuza was doing his best to not get killed by the second, and Hiruzen was directly fighting Orochimaru now.
"So uh, who do you want?" Mikoto could tell they were now trapped, so she prepared to fight her way out.
"I've always wanted to test my speed against the second" Gai let his weights fall off and stretched his shoulders.
"Sounds good to me" clapping her hands together she covered them in flames.
[With Sakura]
"Alright, now I just need to lure people over here" after splitting off from Kakashi she'd started rigging traps up in any empty street she saw. "But how?"
"Shit shit shit!" Her answer came in the form of Kiba and his team rounding a corner. "HEY WATCH OUT WE'VE GOT TONS OF GUYS AFTER US!"
"I can always count on the idiots."
Waiting for their pursuers to round the corner she flagged Team Eight to her trapped road. Stashing them and herself in a hiding spot she used a peephole to watch the payoff.
"Dammit those kids are fast" the squad made it to the start of the street, unable to find any of them.
Releasing her genjutsu, the decoy at the end of the road became visible. Spotting it the squad fell for her trap and dashed down the road. With her ears covered she couldn't hear the explosions, but there were enough of them that she could feel them.
"What the fuck" Kiba was the first to peek out and was now giving her a look.
"What?"
"You blew those guys up!"
"I know?"
"That's so fucked up!"
"Oh so some random guy can blow up the arena, but it's fucked up when I blow some dudes up? That's a real double standard."
"She's got a point Kiba, I don't remember you pointing out how fucked up that was" Shino was all for a girlboss winning.
"IT WAS KIND OF OBVIOUS!"
"Thank you Shino" knowing the explosions would draw more enemies she climbed out of the hiding spot. "You guys can keep running that way, if you see more of me just hide and wait for someone to trip the traps there."
"Alright, Kiba once we locate more enemies you'll lure them in" Shino followed her out, followed by the other two. "I take it you're heading somewhere else?"
"Yeah no reason to stay by my traps if you can bait people to them" she took a quick look around for any signs of fighting. Spotting something off in the distance she grinned.
"Good luck then" Shino also saw the giant sand monster forming.
"Thanks I shouldn't need it!"
"Thanks for the help" Hinata was the last of the team to head off.
"Don't mention it, you guys are doing the hard part with the traps anyways" Sakura was double checking her supplies before heading off.
"Oh uh, ok, um, good luck!" She shuffled after the rest of her team with that.
"Naruto's right, she is kind of weird" Sakura never really talked to Hinata before, and had only heard about her from Naruto, who also didn't know her. "But more importantly, I wanna blow that thing up."
[With Itachi]
After helping Sasuke escape he was now left to fight Kisame and Gaara. Luckily it was more of a free for all, Gaara didn't really care who he attacked. The real trouble was Samehada, being forced to dodge it made openings for sand attacks which then forced him to use more chakra. His body had mostly healed from the incident years ago, but the real problem was what he'd done to his chakra pathways. To avoid making it any worse he had to limit how much chakra he used.
"Gotcha!" Kisame managed to shave through a sand wall, shredding part of his shoulder and eating away at his chakra.
Gaara was quick to attack him again, the sight of his blood driving the boy to attack more ferociously. Low on options, Itachi decided to take care of Gaara first. Using a Crow Substitution to avoid getting crushed he rushed towards Gaara.
"Hey what the hell!" Kisame was hot on his trail, not a fan of being ignored during a fight.
Dodging a sand blast he managed to lock eyes with Gaara. Activating his Mangekyō Sharingan for a moment, he put him to sleep to take him out of the fight.
"Oh shit" Kankuro and Temari saw him slump and immediately began to retreat.
Before either of them could react, waves of sand erupted from all around Gaara, throwing Itachi and Kisame back. Catching a tree branch, Itachi managed to avoid being drowned in the sand.
"This doesn't seem good" he watched the waves begin to reverse in flow, forming a large body back where Gaara originally was.
"Oh right we aren't supposed to let him fall asleep" Kisame landed on a branch by him. "Uh, temporary truce?"
"AHAHAHA" Shukaku was fully formed now, and gleefully looked upon the village.
"Yeah, truce" Itachi didn't like his odds in this fight alone.
[With Kimimaro]
From his place outside the box he could see the tide turn within it. If he had done his job and kept Naruto under control everything would be fine, but now even if Orochimaru won he'd be in trouble for failing.
"Dammit where is he!" Kabuto finally got free of the rubble he was trapped in. "I'm gonna rip that kid in half!"
"He's certainly somewhere."
"We got the easier job by chance, and you lost the kid?"
"He can teleport."
"Only with Sasuke! Did you not read my ninja info cards on them?"
"I forgot, and then Sasuke showed up and then they teleported."
"To where!"
"In there."
Kabuto looked into the box. It was now full of leaf ninja, and with them the tide had turned. Furious, he stormed over to Tayuya.
"Why the fuck are you keeping the box up!"
"It's our job you shithead why do you think?"
"Can you not see what's happening in there?"
"No I fucking can't! We can't turn around here idiot!"
"WELL DROP THE BOX!"
"Fine you dick we'll drop the box" she flipped him off, breaking her part of the barrier. The other three followed suit. No longer confined in a box the groups split off. Orochimaru and his people on one side, and the people of Konoha on the other.
"Wait, you're with this guy?" Rōzu was quick to point at Kimimaro.
"Uh, yes."
"You know them?" Orochimaru hadn't paid too much attention to everyone dumped in the box.
"We're related."
"That can't be right."
"That's what I said, but no it is."
"Well shit, hey uh, you wanna come over to my side?"
"No?"
"You sure? We're pretty cool over here."
"Why are you trying to steal my secretary?" Hiruzen was glad to be out of the box, but as now a bit lost.
"I could always have more people with bone powers."
"Well unless you can match my pay and benefits, no!"
"Well what are they? We could probably do that, we have room in the budget for a secretary right Kabuto?"
"I mean yes? Is this really what matters right now though?"
"I'm in charge so I say it is."
"Fine, I can make it work!"
"See we could!"
"Like they would turn traitor that easily!"
"I mean, my bonus last year was a little lacking if I'm honest boss."
"That's it, no more talking back to the fighting!"
"Hey mom, have you seen Jiraya?" Naruto and Sasuke dropped in the middle of the two groups.
"Perfect two birds one stone! Kimimaro, grab that kid."
"What hey no do not grab either of these kids!" Rōzu pointed at him.
"It's like half of the reason we're here, so I have to" he'd been afraid of this coming up, it'd make any future family reunions quite awkward.
"If we throw in not kidnapping that kid?" Orochimaru didn't really care about the Akatsuki stuff these days.
"The fact that you were here to kidnap my son is a big deal breaker!"
"Well dammit, Kabuto grab that kid. I can't have Kimimaro kidnap his cousin, that'd be weird."
"With pleasure" Kabuto activated his chakra scalpel and glared at Naruto.
"I have this feeling we are in a bad spot right now" Sasuke did not like being directly in the middle of everyone else.
"I kind of like the attention" Naruto was still unconcerned by all the danger.
Everyone tensed, ready to leap into action the moment either side acted. Sasuke kept his hand on Naruto's ready to get them out of there once the fighting started. The signal they all used to start was the roar let off by the Shukaku in the distance. In the moments following the sound Naruto and Sasuke warped away. Their target was someone they were pretty sure was in a safe spot.
"Well it would have been nice to have you two a while ago" Sakura was with the Mist team from the exam going over a plan in the shadow of the giant sand monster. "But better late than never!"
[With Itachi and Kisame]
Their main strategy was to avoid dying. The next strategy they made ran into some issues.
"I told him it'd turn to glass!" Itachi did his best to protect his vitals as the glass limb shattered.
"Not your best idea right now though" Kisame used his back to prevent any glass hitting Samehada. "Especially since it's just making more sand."
"And what's your big idea?"
"Make it wet, slow it down, go from there?"
"Make the whole giant sand monster wet? I'm sorry I don't see the ocean nearby, do you?"
"Buy me some time and I can fix that" while Shukaku formed a new leg he moved away to prepare.
Not wanting to deal with more glass, Itachi's next fireball didn't burn as hot. It still managed to grab the beast's attention, letting him lure it away from where Kisame hopped off to. He was down to roughly two more attacks like that before he'd be out of commission, so he really hoped this wet plan would work.
"OH HOH HOH YOU'RE A FAST LITTLE THING!" Shukaku was having a great time leveling the forest while swinging after him.
He made sure to stay high on the trees to keep its focus. The worst case scenario would be if it got bored of them and headed right into the village. Focusing on too much at once, Itachi failed to notice the beast's next trick. With its next swipe it shot additional sand arms out to chase after him. Caught in the air he was forced to blast them with flames.
"One more" he could feel his body weakening after that last attack. Even just retreating he'd be in bad shape.
With the next swing from the Shukaku he prepped another attack, hoping Kisame would be ready before it crushed him. Before the arm could finish it's motion something detonated within it.
"Ok we're about out of explosives now" Sakura and co. landed by him. "But it looks easy enough to get something into that thing's body."
"Sasuke, why are you all here?" Itachi had been pretty sure he'd told him to go to the arena.
"Long story, but Sakura needs us for this plan so we're helping out."
"Well, I hope your plan accounted for ours."
"What is your plan exactly?"
"That" he pointed at the massive water dragon that arced above the Shukaku.
As it crashed down they all clung to the trees with chakra. The force of the impact combined with the sudden flooding left this area in an even worse state than before. Luckily, Kisame's idea was right, the sand body was clumping and breaking apart enough to slow it down.
"Great, this should make our plan easier, Naruto do what you do best!"
"On it!" He summoned as many clones as he could. The horde of clones leapt towards the Shukaku like a giant orange wave.
"Once they find that air hole it's on you" she looked to the youngest mist ninja.
"Got it!" They pulled out some geodes and began growing them.
"Now what is your plan exactly?" Itachi was confused by the mention of an air hole.
"Well these three told me how this thing grew around that Gaara kid. Since he's in there he needs air, so there's gotta be a direct path to him. Once Naruto finds it his clone will leave a kunai they both marked by it. Then this kid is gonna make a drill out of those gems to get to Gaara and rip him out of it."
"Uh huh" he had to admit, it sounded like a good plan.
"Geez that kid sure can make a lot of clones" Kisame had made his way back over to them. "Nice job keeping it busy for me too."
"Nice job with that attack" Itachi had heard of Kisame's chakra levels, but hadn't expected something like that.
"Bad news" Naruto pointed to Shukaku swatting down his clones. "We're gonna need it a bit less mobile to search it properly."
"Well shit" Sakura frowned and looked at the beast. "If you didn't wear bright orange we could try a distraction."
"Hey orange is a great color!"
"Not in this specific circumstance!"
"Is our truce still going on?" Itachi had an idea, but he would need some help.
"So long as we're dealing with that thing yeah" Kisame looked over to him. "Why?"
"Think you can lend me some of your chakra?"
"How much is some exactly?"
"At least as much as that dragon had."
"Oh that's nothing," Kisame grinned.
"Great, get ready Naruto, I'll have that thing locked down soon enough."
[Back in the arena]
"Why are you attacking me!" Rōzu had tried to head for Kimimaro, to use a move Naruto taught them to win him over, but was cut off by Orochimaru.
"No, this is not attacking!" Orochimaru was also trying to do that. "I'm just, you know, having a cool moment with a possible new ally. Totally unrelated, what's your shoe size?"
"Why?"
"You know, we could do that fun thing besties do and wear each other's clothes, or at least you could wear mine."
"I'll pass" they tried to slice into him with an arm blade, but he easily dodged it.
"Oh come on" he leaned into them with the sword. "I mean Kimimaro has had a great time working for me over the years."
"Again, you're here to steal my son, no deal!" They leapt back to get some distance from him.
"No I was here" Orochimaru was quick to close it, keeping pressure on them. "To kill the Hokage, the Akatsuki want you son, I just needed their help for my thing."
"That sounds like a stupid technecality to me!" Rōzu didn't like their odds against him, unfortunately their allies were now too busy fighting his to help out.
Gritting their teeth they caught the next swing with their forearm, strengthening the bones in it to prevent it getting severed. Using the moment this move bought them, Rōzu swung their left knee in skewering him with a bone.
"I mean if you wanna do things this way" Orochimaru was largely unconcerned by the bone piercing his chest. "It's just a lot easier for me to take over your body when it's a mutual agreement."
"See, that's exactly the kind of stuff I don't want to hear!" Between his sword in their arm, and their own attack, Rōzu was now stuck up close to him. "Why do you want to take over my body?"
"Well I was going to take Kimimaro's, but you're the same size as me so I wouldn't need a whole new wardrobe if I took yours."
Trying to get him off they produced more bones from their chest, stabbing into him. Before they could comment about how easy that seemed, he was now a pile of snakes.
"So really it'd just be better if you would be chill and give me your body" he then leapt out of the ground behind them, stabbing into their back with the sword.
"No!" Their strengthened ribs stopped the sword from doing any real damage with this attack, but the pain was starting to get to them.
Before he could attack again, a large tongue wrapped around him.
"Hey there buddy" Jiraya called out to him from a top the toad the tongue originated from.
"Goddam-" Before he could finish the toad swung him into one of the still standing walls.
"Jiraya, I'll never say this again, but I'm so glad to see you."
"Oh wow that was weird to hear" he shuddered while surveying the area. "Hm, this doesn't seem like a great fight to be in."
"Lucky for you, you get him now!" They were quick to run off, much preferring a fight with Zabuza and Gai against the Second.
"I mean yeah I'll take him" Jriaya knew this would probably be the easier of the non-child fights.
[Back with Itachi and Kisame]
"Just keep the chakra flowing like I said" Itachi had never actually done this before, but really needed it to work.
"I can do that no problem, you just keep up the giant man" Kisame kept a hand on one of his shoulders.
"Susanoo."
With the chakra from Kisame he was easily able to summon it. Just bringing it out wasn't going to be enough though. Steadily his Susanoo grew in size, by the time it caught the Shukaku's attention it was big enough to fight it.
"OH HELLO" if it was put off by the newest threat the beast didn't show it.
With the size taken care of, and the Chakra flow still holding stable from Kisame, Itachi got to work. Closing the gap they leapt forward, smashing a fist into the beast. As it fell back one of the legs swung up, slamming into the side of the Susanoo. The Shukaku was quicker to recover, reshaping it's form to be upright while they stumbled. Acting fast it pounced on them, shaking the earth as they landed on the Susanoo's back.
"Right where we want you" Itachi had his arms and legs wrap around it, locking the Shukaku in place. As it began to struggle against the hold the horde of Narutos descended once more.
Without the wind blasts to destroy them, the clones touched down and fanned out. Every few steps one would get sucked into the body, causing the others to move faster.
"DAMMIT GETS THESE ANTS OFF ME" the Shukaku struggled harder against the hold, throwing loose some of the clones.
Unable to break the grip, it turned its attention towards Susanoo's head. Opening its mouth chakra began to condense right above them.
"This thing will hold through that right?" Kisame didn't like how close it was to them.
"I don't think so" Itachi calculated his options as fast as possible. "Get out before it launches, Susanoo should absorb enough of the blast to keep the surrounding area safe. I can hold it up on my own long enough for that."
"As if" he tightened his grip on Itachi's shoulder, flaring his chakra. "I ain't quitting you, we still got a truce don't forget."
"For a criminal, you're an alright guy."
When the Biju ball collided with the Susanoo, all of Konoha shook from the impact. The six genin only avoided being thrown away thanks to a giant fish summon weighing them down.
"At the end of the day you're pretty helpful" Sakura looked to the Mist genin with the scroll. "Also, I never really learned your name, I'm Sakura by the way."
"I'm Sakana, and this is the bigger Sakana" he patted the fish before it dispersed.
"Well good to know, Naruto get back on that thing!"
"I'm starting to run out of steam you know" his newest clone batch was only thirty strong.
"I think it is too" Sasuke was the first to see the Shukaku after the smoke cleared, most of its body was blown away in the attack.
"Perfect, he's in there somewhere!"
"Actually wait" Naruto rubbed his head, remembering the demise of a few clones. "I think we can get it to suck the drill down from anywhere on it."
"Well, we're already low on options" she turned to the genin with the gem drill. "You willing to go all or nothing?"
"Sure!" They finished making the drill around themself. "Also I'm Kesshō!"
"We really should ask for people's names more often" Sakura looked to the final Mist genin.
"Oh I don't want you weirdos knowing who I am, this shit is too much for me."
"Fair enough."
The three on standby watched as Naruto and Sasuke warped in with the drill. As they appeared on top of the Shukaku the two swung a leg up each. With a boost from the two kicks Kesshō rapidly dove into the beast's body. The only sign they had if it was the right direction was the sands density, it had become a barrier as they tried to drive down further. With the denser sand to drill through their rotation slowed down as well, allowing sand to tighten on the crystal protecting them. As cracks began to form on it they pulled out the last few explosive tags the team had.
"Oh god they're gonna die in there" Sakura had quickly given into this thought as the Shukaku continued forming.
Before her thought could turn darker an explosion blew open the beast. Rocketing out of it they all could see Kesshō's drill. Acting fast Naruto and Sasuke warped back to them, the sand now falling all around them. Catching hold of them and Gaara they warped away.
[With Kimimaro]
The battle was fast to turn against them. Even with the Sound Five all entering their stage two forms the reinforcements from Konoha's ANBU were starting to overwhelm them. The two reanimated Hokage were losing ground against the assembled forces as well.
"This isn't over!" Orochimaru was frustrated by Jiraya's appearance in the battle, even more by how evenly matched they had become.
"It looks like it is to me, you're outnumbered" Hiruzen, flanked by ANBU, cut off their exit.
"Lord Orochimaru" Kimimaro could feel his body weakening from maintaining level two. "I'll create an opening, fall back."
"I feel like you're a little too cocky their kid" Jiraya felt pretty confident he couldn't stop all of them.
Kimimaro glared at him as he sunk into the ground.
"Oh shit everyone move now!" Rōzu's warning allowed the faster of them to avoid being skewered as bones sprouted all throughout the area.
The chaos of the attack accomplished his goal, having to scatter they couldn't prevent Orochimaru from retreating. Kimimaro knew this would be his own end, the curse seal receded and his body rose back to the surface. His body felt like it was coming apart as he laid there. Someone approached him, but his vision was too blurred to see who. In one final attempt to buy more time he sprouted a bone from arm and swung it at them. As their blood splattered onto his face his vision cleared. His attack had caught Rōzu off guard and pierced them, as more blood fell onto him they pulled him in.
[Days later]
When Rōzu came to they were in the hospital. Trying to sit up in the bed too fast caused their wound to flare up, their cry of pain waking up the other person in the room.
"AH" Iruka woke up yelling in response to the yelling he heard.
"AH!"
"Why are you yelling!"
"I'm in pain and you scared me!" Rōzu had been caught off guard by him.
"Well, same!" His own wound still ached.
"Ok then" they sat back against the headboard. "How'd you get hurt?"
"Some guy tried to cut me in half, you?" It took him a bit, but he sat up as well.
"My cousin stabbed me."
"You have a cousin?"
"Turns out I do, kind of a dick."
"Sorry to hear that."
An awkward silence settled over the room. This was their first time together since the incident.
"I'm sorry" Rōzu was the first to break it. "I probably shouldn't have asked you to marry me like that, or really at all, but I almost died and I thought about you. You're an amazing guy, and I do love you, but I get it if it 's not what you want."
"I" he'd thought about what they'd said, he'd thought about it a lot. "I love you too, and I'm sorry too. You opened up and asked that, and I thought you were messing with me."
"Well that um, that went a lot better than I expected."
"Really?"
"I mean yeah after how we left things I thought you didn't feel the same way."
"We've been together for five years."
"Ok you say that now, but it's not like we said that within those five years."
"Point taken, I guess I never really thought about it, you know? When I did it was kind of obvious that love was the right word."
"Ok well," they smiled over to him. "That was corny."
"Oh shut up."
"So you two made up!" Kakashi threw up the curtains of another bed in the room, earning another round of screams from them both.
"We're already in the hospital, could you not try and give me a heart attack!" Iruka was thoroughly shaken by that scare.
"I had to make sure you two got some nice one on one time before I told Naruto you were awake."
"If we got married would you be upset?" Iruka wasn't too sure how that would work out.
"Are you kidding me? I get to be the hot pool boy like I've always wanted to be."
"Right."
"Anyways get ready" he headed for the door.
His warning didn't prepare them for Naruto to barrel through it once he unlocked it. The rapid fire questions he shot at them left Rōzu too dazed to reply.
"Naruto they're fine now" Iruka cut him off to help them out. "We both just need some bedrest and we'll be good as new."
"Yeah what he said" they were still reeling from the deluge of questions.
"So if I had to go on a mission you'd be fine?"
"Of course I'll be fine" they ruffled his hair. "My little ninja can go do his job."
"Ok no backsies cause I have to go travel with Jiraya."
The sudden tension in their body made Iruka worry.
"Just for a bit though! And Sasuke is coming!"
"He gets a headstart because I'm hurt" Rōzu gripped the bed rail hard enough to break it. "But I will be coming for him."
"But um, in less violent news!" Iruka wanted to try and diffuse them a little. "We're getting married!"
"Oh shit, really?" Rōzu hadn't actually asked him again, so this did pull them out of their rage.
"WHAT!" It was now Naruto's turn to be distressed.
"Not like right now" they were quick to react to him. "And if you're not ok with it then I'll kick him to the curb, don't even worry about that."
"Wow, really feeling that love."
"My special little boy comes first."
"I um, uh, can we talk about this when I'm back?" Naruto looked between the two of them.
"Of course we can," Rōzu pulled him into a hug.
After the hug he headed for the door. Grabbing the handle he turned and looked back at them.
"Bye mom" he looked over at Iruka. "Bye dad."