A/N: This was cut from the fic because i couldn't fit it in anywhere without making the story length longer/fitting it in.
I hope it's okay!
Jack's POV:
You appeared like some unobtainable, mythical creature.
The laugh, the smile, the tears you would hide when you thought nobody could see you. The way you cried openly with patients who needed it, or the gentle way you attended to whatever whim to comfort someone...
The way you would softly sing under your breath, or drag the entire crew into joining in while performing a risky procedure in flight.
I couldn't see how such a being was possible to exist, I couldn't believe you were real.
I got to know you more but the more I got to know you the more frightened I became, I was terrified to want to call you mine, to want to hold you close—-
But the way you'd linger during a hug, the way you'd let your hand brush on mine, I knew you were real.
The horror you have experienced bears no weight on the character you have become, your resilience makes you stronger, the way you stubbornly refuse to abandon your values, your mission... anything.
You are the most passionate person, the most stubborn, the invested and forgiving...
When my mind betrayed me, swallowing everything inside, I couldn't be near you. I couldn't bear to see your disappointment. See your light fade as you would inevitably try to " save me".
So I let you suffer a worse fate, one I didn't see at the time, and one I'm still paying for, day after day after day. I promised to let go of that guilt, and I will try. That is my promise.
I will try to be the man you deserve. I will try to be the man you need, and I will try to be the one that you fell in love with.
You have brought me all the happiness the world can offer, but I hope I can make that reflect back to you. "
I paused before returning the paper back to his pocket, my body ached for him. To hold him, and tell him over end over that this easily could have been written by either of us.
My feet were planted on the cold vinyl tiles, I let myself fall back onto the bed. Exhaustion weighed so heavily now.
I don't know what to do about this.
Those were his alternative vows?
His utter depression and disappointment with himself!?
The door opened as he returned with coffee.
" what possibly happened in the time I left and returned?" He said clearly puzzled at my state.
Fuck, I'm crying. I hate crying like this.
" I found your vows" I said letting out the truth.
He looked puzzled and his brows were furrowed together.
" where? I didn't bring them with me" he said, I couldn't detect a lie, he seems truly baffled.
" your pocket" I said wiping another stray tear from my eye.
" I promise you—- I didn't" he said as he dug through the coat pockets and a shadow fell on his face.
" no no—- that's. That's from" he grunted and sighed.
His shoulders were tense as he rolled them back before speaking.
" I wrote that when I dreamed of talking to you again" he said.
Then it clicked. I am being overly emotional. What is happening with my mind.
" I'm sorry you found that" he said but then added " what did you need in my pockets?"
" a wife has a right to rummage for chocolates"
" well, my wife will be pleased with the knowledge that I keep them in the actual pockets" he said as he reached into his pants pockets and placed a small foil square into my hand.
" I love you" I said.
" I know you do, I'm sorry that upset you" he admitted sheepishly.
" I should have figured—- but it seemed so—-"
" repetitive? Current? It's really time for us to focus on healing— really healing even just a bit".
" Yes, you are correct as usual" I said with a smile.
A/N: Thank you for reading this. While the Main fic is completed, i just had this sitting around in my folders, and it's bothered me that i didn't include it anywhere, so i decided to add it. I hope it was okay to do that.
Extra thanks to: Chaosdynasty, Trokxy, CyborgNinja777, ayumiiishinozakiii, robot584, jfm76, dragontear365, Kirabeta, TheMdogs and L0rdOfThEMemes.