Chapter 92 Chapter Notes
After a tense week of worrying about Charlie, Edward and Bella are off, into the wild.
The chapter title belongs to The Bobby Fuller Four
Chapter 92 My True Love
Bella speaks to Charlie every morning and every night, and I similarly speak to Maya. She tells me that Charlie really is improving. Bella and I decide that we can risk a visit if she sits in the car, Charlie stays in the house, and they speak on the phone.
We don't tell Charlie, but Maya is in on the plan. I take Bella to a remote area and make sure she finds a carnivore. They satiate better than ruminants, but truthfully, she still has Tim's blood in her system. And nothing will be better than that.
At the appointed time, Bella is simply beside herself with anticipation. When I pull the Volvo into Maya's driveway, she already has her phone in hand and is punching Charlie's speed dial number.
He answers with a hearty hello! Bella tells him to go to the window and peek out, and when he sees the Volvo, and then his daughter sitting in the front seat waving at him, his face lights up, brighter than the sun. He shakes his head slightly and his mouth opens. His love for his only child shines in the way he gazes at her. He places his palm on the window and Bella does the same.
They have a long conversation, and it's the happiest I've seen the man in a long time. Maya stands beside him and she is beaming with happiness as well. Bella tells her father that we're leaving tomorrow and will be briefly out of touch, but the family will know our whereabouts. If he needs Bella for any reason, he should call Carlisle and one of them will get the message to us in minutes. I catch Maya's eye and nod fervently. She nods back her understanding. If something goes amiss with Charlie, she'll get in touch with the family right away.
When they finally end the call, I feel as if they've both turned a corner. Bella no longer blames herself for her father's deteriorated mental condition, which is improving by the day, and he seems to have forgiven her for abandoning him, something I'd heard, in fractured bits, that he'd been ashamed of.
With a new understanding of each other, I think that they'll both be better off for it. Bella is still working through Tim's sad demise, as am I, but the only thing we can do to honor his memory is to try harder in the future. I've anonymously sent a chunk of cash to his estranged wife, who lives in Seattle. Their little girl, Jo, will benefit from the income, although nothing can ever replace her father.
We spend our last night in the house before embarking on a grand adventure. As I'd done the first time that I'd ever made love to human Bella, we lay on the rug in the sitting room bathed only by the light of the fire. After she's naked, I pick her up and carry her to the kitchen and sit her up on the counter.
And even though she's durable and hard like me, never aging, never sickening, she's still Bella. When she threads her fingers up through my hair or runs a finger up my spine, I feel the same yearning, the same hot, burning need as I had for my human woman. For human Bella.
The look on her face as she'd watched my cock slowly being pulled into her is one that I relive often. Her scent and the noises that she'd made are but relics of a former life, but the memory of them is so, so sweet.
The awe and wonder of the experience are missing, but when I look into Bella's face, I see that she's remembering them, as am I.
"Put your legs up on the counter," I say, just as I had that first magical night. When she does, I have full access to her pussy, and when I lean over and lick her, she nearly falls off the counter. "Ha!" I say, as I catch her. "I did the same thing when you put your tongue on me. Nearly fell off the bed."
She scoots back and I pull her legs to drape over my shoulders. And I lick and nibble and suck until I'm rewarded with an orgasm like those of old, where she gyrates around like bugs are biting her. When she's done, I fuck her, just like I had that night.
And it is bliss.
We each choose a movie to watch, and it feels special because we don't know when we'll be here again for the night. Bella chooses The Blues Brothers, one of my favorites. It's about two brothers, Jake and Elwood Blues, who are called by God to save a Catholic school. Hysterical. I choose The Marx Brothers classic, At the Circus. Bella has never seen it, and laughs like a maniac when Groucho sings Lydia the tattooed lady.
And I can't tell you how much fun we both have after Bella learns the words (after hearing it once) and we sing it a thousand times.
A thousand times.
Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia
Oh! Lydia, the tattooed lady
She has eyes that folks adore so
And a torso even more so
Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia"
Oh! Lydia, the Queen of tattoo
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too
And proudly above waves
The Red, White and Blue
You can learn a lot from Lydia!
The next morning dawns sunny, which just shocks the shit out of both of us. It makes me feel hopeful. After some amazing sex in the shower, on the sitting room rug, on the squashy couch in the media room and in the actual bed, we shower again, get dressed, and make our final preparations.
We walk through the house one last time before escaping into the wild. I'd wondered about the decision to take Bella into the mountains, away from humanity, during her first, problematic years, but after what happened with Tim, I'm certain that we've made the right choice.
We've packed our sturdiest clothes and have a wind-up radio so we can keep tabs on the outside world if we want to. When I look at Bella, I don't think we'll want to. We leave behind tablets and laptops. We won't need them where we're going. And with no signal, we won't be able to use our phones, so they stay behind as well. But like Bella told Charlie, the family will know where we are and can get a message to us if it's urgent.
Bella calls Charlie for a last, quick goodbye and then we're off to the family's house. We're leaving the Volvos in the garage. When we arrive, Esme takes Bella upstairs to give her some items for our trek. Jasper, Alice and I stand outside and soak up the sun, when I get the shock of my life.
Emmett and Rosalie walk out of the trees and stand beside me like there haven't been any problems between us. Like I hadn't threatened to rip Rosalie's head off. Like Emmett and I hadn't almost duked it out in Esme's living room.
Like they haven't been gone since the first night of Bella's conversion.
My mouth falls open. Jasper and Alice smile, and I realize that they both knew about this. I guess Alice must have seen it. Emmett sticks out his hand and shakes my whole arm, then pulls me into a bear hug that lifts me off of the ground.
When he puts me down, I grab my ribs with a groan and a laugh. I sober when Rosalie holds her arms open to me. "I'm sorry, Edward," she says with an ultra-serious look on her face. "I've been hanging out with Lisle James on the reservation, and she's taught me a lot. I didn't see just how selfish I'd been, not just to you, but to everybody. Please forgive me."
I just stare at her. Nobody says anything. I walk into her embrace and feel like the last, scattered pieces of my life have fallen into place. "I accept your apology," I say with a smile, just as Bella walks out. And then we're all talking at once, telling jokes, talking about Bella's new vampire physique, and what we're about to do.
Carlisle stands alone, up on the patio. He's gazing down on his extended family with a feeling of deep satisfaction. I hear how proud he is that I gave all my money away. It's something I hadn't heard in his thoughts before. He's thinking about all that he's read and heard about the positive benefits of the programs that I'd funded. How selfless it was of me. How the world is a better place because I'm in it.
When our eyes meet, I see him swallow, and then see myself as a newborn, much like I am now, much as I was as a human. Introspective and quiet, a bit of an overthinker. I look over at my family, still in the throes of a raucous conversation, and see Bella. Still the same as human Bella. A little shy, not wanting to be the center of attention.
Do we ever really change? Venom flows through our veins instead of blood, but the basic person that we are is still there.
Bella is still Bella.
What's going on with Rosalie will stay a mystery, I suppose. Maybe she was a nice human person? Maybe she's reverted back to that? Or perhaps interacting with Lisle James has forced some much-needed maturity on her. Whatever the reason, I'm not thinking about it too much.
I'm just glad that she's changed.
I turn around and see Esme, standing in the doorway, pleased that finally, finally, her family is together again. As we prepare to leave, everyone has their own unique way of bidding us adieu. Carlisle shakes my hand and kisses Bella's cheek, Esme clucks about us living away from the beautiful house she'd just finished, Alice holds a finger to her lip and says that she'll see us soon, and Jasper makes us all feel like it's a good idea, whether we want to feel that way or not.
Rosalie and Emmett complain good-naturedly that they just got here. But we make arrangements to get together. And we have all the time in the world.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Esme had said this to me at Bella's and my wedding. At the time, it seemed like the kind of thing that your mom might say. A platitude. A cliché. But it's true. And here we are, finally through the pain. Done with the doubt and uncertainty. Finished with the danger and the fear.
Bella and Edward.
Hand in hand, ready to begin our life together.
"You're sure you want to do this?" I clarify once more, as we walk away, leaving civilization behind. Bella looks back at the house, at the rows of gleaming autos parked side by side, and then to the hills and trees and the afternoon sun, peeking out from behind white puffy clouds.
She looks at me. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"There are some things that I need to tell you," I say, as we walk into the wild. I'm a little apprehensive, hoping that she won't be angry that I didn't spill before now. Bella just cocks her head to show that she's listening. I tell her about each property that we own and its location, date acquired, and worth. I rattle off the bank account numbers on six continents, and the brokerage firm that we use. "When we go back to Forks, you can look up the investments. There are too many to list."
"Wow." She drags the word out. "So, I guess you didn't tell me before because I couldn't have remembered it?"
"Exactly. It was never a secret, just complicated because there was so much." I also tell her about Jenks, how he is the family attorney, the one human we feel we can trust. "He put together all the programs that I funded," I say.
"So you just gave your money away," she says.
"I didn't have time for anything else. But I heard Carlisle thinking about that earlier. Apparently, many of the programs are thriving, some have been expanded by state and local governments, and more people are being reached. Some foreign countries are even trying to copy some of them. Jenks did a really good job."
"Is there anything else?" she asks, her face alight with curiosity.
I smile. "Um, is there a name other than 'Bella' that you like?" She frowns and shakes her head and I say, "Well, I'm sure you understand that you can't be Bella for all eternity. At some point, you and I will each chose another set of names, and we'll get an attorney to draw up papers for us using them."
We walk for a few minutes and she says, "What you're telling me is that 'Edward Cullen' isn't your birth name." I say nothing and she slaps her head with the flat of her hand. "Of course it isn't. Couldn't be. So…what is your real name?"
"Bella, Edward Cullen is my real name. Right now. I've had a few names. But look at me. Imagine me as a human, born in 1901. What is my human name?"
She regards me seriously and murmurs, "Common names in 1901. Hmmm. Thomas? John? Henry?"
I shake my head at each one and she frowns. "Alexander," I say. "My birth name was Alexander Savage. My parents and friends called me Alex."
"But you'll always be Edward Cullen to me," she murmurs. Yeah, for a hundred years, maybe. But I don't say this. Bella has just turned the corner into immortality and she doesn't yet understand what that means. Just how long it is. But I'd made up my mind to tell her, and now she knows. There are no secrets between us.
We hike through the woods, high above town, and approach the cabin from the west. "La Push is down there." I point, but all we can see are trees.
Bella frowns. "How do you know?"
I laugh out loud. "Trust me." I chuckle some more and I find the path that Alice and I had walked when we trudged up the mountain to bring Jasper and Emery home.
About a mile from the cabin, I stop. Bella puts her head back and inhales deeply. "What is that smell? It's…bright. Not a human smell at all."
"Victoria." I wonder if she had stayed in the cabin. The closer we get to the structure, the stronger the smell, and Bella walks ahead of me, almost as if the scent is pulling her up the mountain.
She gasps when she sees it, this homely, modest abode, far from humans, in the dead middle of one of the most pristine old-growth forests in the world. An enormous madrone tree has spread her leafy canopy over the entire area, protecting the little cottage from the elements. Jasper estimated that it's been here for sixty years, at least.
Upon closer examination, I see that it's been constructed on a stone base. I wonder how this was accomplished, sixty-odd years ago, but it keeps the bottom from soaking up rain water. That's probably why it's still standing.
We walk around the fire pit, which Jasper said he and Emery had constructed when they were up here together, to the only door, which has been bashed in by something large and powerful. The aged frame is splintered.
I walk in ahead of Bella and pull the door out. We examine it and find it undamaged. I lean it against the structure. Once inside, we take off our backpacks and Bella glances at the earthen floor. "What's this?" She picks up a handful of curly red hair. "Victoria's?"
I nod slowly. "I guess she was going mad up here, all alone. I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been."
Bella gathers up the handfuls of hair and carries them to the fireplace. She looks a bit uneasy. "What happened to her, Edward? It looked gruesome."
"Well, besides the bites from Brady, her mind had just been consumed. She had lost her sense of smell and was going blind, and as she stood there in the middle of that street, all her thoughts just turned to gray mist. It was the Quileute magic."
Bella and I spend a moment in quiet reflection. I don't know what she's thinking, but I'm still freaked out by how badly Victoria's body had degraded. I'm a supernatural being, but the power of the Quileute magic is just astounding.
We stand in a filtered sunbeam that sneaks in through a slit in the roof. It looks like Victoria might have launched herself straight up, slicing through the roofing materials. "We'll have to do something about that, or we'll get soaked," Bella says sagely.
One glance around tells us all we need to know about the place. It's one room, approximately fourteen feet square, with a tiny fireplace, two spaces for windows, but no glass, and a broken door. Oh, and a hole in the roof. It is furnished sparely, with a small table and one ancient cot that had been covered by the door. Laid out on this makeshift bed we find clothing, wallets, trinkets and cash.
Bella realizes some of the items were stolen from her classmates, and I plan on running into town one night to place them on their doorstep. We divide the cash into the two wallets. I'll mail one to the address on the woman's driver's license. The remaining items are a mystery and we decide to donate them to the La Push thrift store.
The sun is setting and it looks like rain. "Where do you want to sleep tonight? I say, as I pull her in for a kiss. And now that I can finally feel her tongue in my mouth, I can't seem to get enough.
And it is bliss.
Bella lowers her head and looks up at me through dark lashes. She drops my hand and seductively pulls me into the deep forest. There, under the branches of the hemlock trees, she slowly peels off her clothes. She runs her hands over her skin, now perfect, cold, and hard as marble. I'm going to miss the blood that colored her human skin at every turn, the subtle heat that surrounded her as she blushed, but I'll enjoy this new, durable body that I can't hurt.
I unbutton my shirt and Bella undoes my belt. She grins at my bright yellow boxers. They say, 'Have a Nice Day', above a big smiley face. Her expression turns serious when I gently lay her back on the evergreen needles. I spread her legs and kiss my way up to her clitoris, and when I apply my tongue, she throws her head back, gasping.
It doesn't take long for her to come, and as I crawl up her body and take my place on top of her, I am thankful again that I no longer have to worry about hurting or killing her during a sexual experience. It's bittersweet, though, to realize that the need to safeguard Bella's fragile human body was exciting in itself. This new, sturdy Bella is sexy, but not the same.
As we merge, she whispers in my ear, "Fuck me like a vampire. Like you couldn't when I was breakable." It's such a relief to move as I need to, and not to spend ninety-five percent of my mental capacity on modulating my movements and calibrating my responses. I can be myself, thrust as hard as I need to, for as long as I need to, without fear of damaging an internal organ or causing bleeding or tearing.
I'm not surprised when Bella comes again, and I follow right after. We lay on the ground for a few minutes, simply enjoying each other. "How was that, Mrs. Cullen?"
In answer, she kisses me, with plenty of tongue.
We find a couple of fallen trees that have made a cozy den and cuddle up together. We lay still and listen to the forest at night. Owls hoot, and something rustles the leaves and cedar needles near us. In the morning, we run back through the woods to see the family. We tell them about the cabin's deficiencies, and in less than an hour, Esme is assessing it, with a very bossy Alice taking notes and pictures and measurements.
Esme deems the cabin livable and well-made, so the work goes quickly. Jasper patches the roof, Esme plans to fit two glass windows with frames into the spaces, and Carlisle says we'll have to order the doorframe. Alice asks Emmett and Rosalie to help Bella and me fetch as many rocks as we can find, and we spend the morning running up and down the mountain, hauling rocks for I don't know what.
Jasper shows us how to build a wall with all the rocks we gathered. He's wistful about this little place, having enjoyed the few days he spent here with Emery, in an act that propelled Bella and me into despair. But I don't hold it against him.
We are what we are, and we do the best that we can do. I'm getting him a tee shirt, too.
By evening, we have a cabin that will withstand the rain, at least. Before Alice and Jasper run home, she shows me what she's ordered: A queen-sized bed with flannel sheets and comforter, four big pillows, a wardrobe for clothes, and a small table with two chairs. It takes about a week for these items to arrive, and when they do, we have them delivered to La Push, and the Wolf boys, under their Alpha's direction, help us carry them all up.
When Jacob first sees Bella, he holds her out by the shoulders and just looks her up and down, but I don't hear any lusty thoughts from him. He sees that she has what she'd always wanted. He doesn't begrudge her anything.
They share a look that disturbs me, although I'm responsible for it. Finally, he says, "Welcome, Bella. You too, Edward. I'm glad you are finally together and the change or whatever is behind you."
I leave them to chat and see to the placement of the items. Jacob is an honest, open person, and if I hadn't ever come back, he would have loved Bella for the rest of her life, once he found out that she wasn't really of his bloodline, that is.
We settle in our new home. Every few days, we hike down the mountain into La Push to shop at the thrift store and visit with the locals, and find two outside chairs and a bookcase that we cart back up.
And books. We always shop for books.
One day, as we're lounging by the fire pit, Esme and Carlisle arrive for a visit. Esme presents us with a big sisal rug to use as a floor covering. Carlisle brings us a huge satchel of art supplies, four bolts of undyed muslin and a pair of really sharp scissors. When Bella looks quizzically at the fabric, he hands her a paper bag full of various kinds of dyes, and books about fabric dyeing, natural dyes and mordants.
Using the hot spring behind the cabin, Bella learns to dye fabric that she sells in a little shop in La Push. She also develops an interest in botany, and, with a book in hand, soon teaches herself the names of all the trees, ferns, vines, wildflowers and lichens.
I paint and draw pictures of the southwest. From memory, I reconstruct the willowy palo verde trees, the bright fuchsia of the bougainvillea, and the warm colors of the desert. Bella says they have a 'hopeful' look to them. I guess the hope that I felt as I'd driven through Arizona has bled onto the canvas. It wasn't my intention. But maybe, more than ink colors the canvases that we all draw on. They are always colored by our experiences, our wants and desires, and our hopes.
Bella and I have escaped into the wild, unfettered by human agency, free to roam and play, hunt and rest. I deposited the check that my family gave us as a wedding present, and Bella has likewise deposited Charlie's gift of her college money. We've kept the utilities on at home and they're debited monthly, as is my car insurance, property taxes, brokerage fees and miscellaneous expenses. Nothing else tethers us to the material world.
When I look at Bella, lying in the sun, running through the rain, or in the throes of passion as she slips out of her clothes to make love to me, I wonder what I could have possibly done to end up here, with everything that most people don't ever stop to wish for.
During one of our shopping trips, we see Chief Littlefoot standing outside the Town Hall. He appraises us, looking into our red eyes, and gives my hand a hearty shake. "Come in," he says genially. "Emery has been going through Quil's notebooks, organizing his prophecies. There's something here you'll want to see."
Emery is called to room seven and he arrives carrying one thin notebook. He smiles at us, shakes our hands, and asks about Jasper. After some chit-chat, we all sit down. Emery clasps his hands on the table top.
"A few months before my grandfather died, I started going through his notes, trying to piece together the prophecies and put them in order. Lots of them were scraps of paper, written in pencil, tucked away with drawings. The only thing that was even remotely organized was the fact that he dated everything he wrote or drew.
"He foretold your family returning here, Edward, thirty years ago. Also, that you would fall in love with a human woman, that she would join your family and that you would 'commit a selfless act that would change the world'. He looks at me keenly but I don't say anything. I'm not sure what he's talking about. I donated some money, but there are more problems in the world than simple money will solve.
But Old Quil's prophecies have been eerily prescient. Have I done something that will 'change the world'? I donated a huge sum of money, but I never imagined it might change the world.
"I've made copies of everything that he left behind." He pulls a worn canvas satchel from under the table and pushes it toward me. "I thought you might like to go through them, seeing that your family is in so many.
Bella looks at me, shocked. "Thank you, Emery," I say. "We would enjoy that." I stand up and extend my hand, but he waves it away. "I just have this one thing to show you."
He opens his slim notebook and takes out a single sheet of aged paper. He slides in across the tabletop. "You can have this."
The rough sketch is of a tall man with untidy hair, dressed all in blue. He stands next to a small woman, her dark cascade of hair streaming behind her in the wind. A faded red Chevy truck blazes behind them.
The youngest of the family takes a human woman by the hand, and she transforms him. March 16, 1976
The power and mystery of the Quileute strikes me anew. Old Quil had predicted this eleven years before Bella Swan was born, twenty-six years before my family moved back to this area.
Bella and I look at this last prophecy, then to each other, then to Emery, who smiles. We thank him, shake hands all around with the various Council members and the Chief, and depart room seven. The canvas bag bulges with the old Indian's notes and drawings. I can't wait to read them with Bella.
The setting sun is just visible, sinking into the sea. Clouds are forming in the east; it will rain tonight. I grab Bella's hand, cool now, but mine. Mine forever. I smile up at the darkening sky, imagine curling up with Bella in the bed, listening to the rain beating upon our cabin roof, all of our tomorrows before us, as we experience each new adventure together.
A thousand images flood my mind. The day I woke in Carlisle's flat; my rebellious years, where I policed the streets, killing the unmerciful; decades of emptiness, with nothing to look forward to but silly boxers from my sister; a drab Biology classroom in an inconsequential Washington town.
And then.
The rest of the story.
Bella turns, her forehead creased in thought, but with a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. "What does it mean, 'the youngest of the family takes a human woman, and she transforms him'?"
"I can't imagine," I say with a grin. I kiss the top of her head.
"C'mon. Let's go home."
Fairer she than you would dream to find, is my own true love Sweeter she, than the sweetest wine, is my true love.
Gentle and shy, with a sunny smile, like the sky above, Never will I roam another mile, for my true love.
No more wanderlust to taunt me, no more winding trails to haunt me, I have found my place in the sun.
With my true one.
Let me be forever all the while, with my own true love,
Never must I roam another mile,
For my true love.
Here at the end, please leave me a review, to remind me why I spent hundreds of hours and months of my life writing this story! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like.
And there's one more chapter.
The epilogue, titled, appropriately, Fly Like an Eagle.