Olivia sat quietly at her desk overlooking the near vacant streets of NYC. The changes due to the global pandemic were evident in the streets, and even more evident in the crime rate. Her mind never failed to remind her when she thought about the drop in rape and domestic violence calls that the likelihood of a true drop was untrue, it was more likely the crimes were going unreported and would therefore be reported at a later date, or not at all. Both possibilities caused her to take a deep pull of the stuffy air from her surroundings. If the crimes were committed and not ever reported, rapists and batters would be going free, which she couldn't tolerate. Yet if they were reported and weeks or months had passed, they were unlikely to collect evidence, and less likely to convict. Olivia never thought she'd be wishing for a busy night, but here she was. She kicked her leg off the side of her shelf forcing herself to pivot in her company issued captain's chair far enough to see she had only two new emails. One from Noah's virtual learning assistant informing her he had completed his first week of school successfully and attended all classes and had no pending assignments. The second, however, was the one that drew her attention.
It was from her second in command who she had sent home to be with Ken and his family. They very rarely got extended breaks without putting in for vacation, but due to the low reporting rate (or lack of crime) he was able to take a true long Labor Day weekend. Olivia had opted to take the weekend off but decided Monday would be better spent at her desk instead of driving Noah insane setting up a school area for him at her apartment. She had been lucky enough to be able to hire Lucy full time for the school year, and knowing Noah would be more likely to follow instructions for setting up his virtual portal from Lucy than his mom, she left them for a short work day on a normal day off.
The email from Fin had no body, just a simple email subject stating "Call me"
She quickly went to grab her phone and realized it wasnt in her pocket as normal. She frantically searched alarm bells ringing as to why he didnt try her office phone. Olivia located her cell in her purse seeing only 2 missed calls from Fin, realizing it was on vibrate and she didnt feel it going off in her purse. The calls were back to back and had begun only 10 minutes prior, letting out a sigh of relief that she hadn't missed something for hours on end, she redialled the last missed call.
"Liv! I tried to call you, but it went to your voicemail and your office phone is still set to forward to the vacation message"
"Sorry Fin I totally forgot to change that" She hunched over her desk rubbing her forehead imagining how many calls she has to return over this long weekend that she accidentally took even though she was physically in the office. No wonder the day seemed to drag so much. She was too caught up thinking about the low crime rate and Noah's school to even remember simple tasks that come along with being Captain.
"No worries. I was just calling because there was something kind of urgent, I needed to tell you before you found out from your own sources or the rumor mill around here..."
That made her straighten up a bit, her eyes subconsciously finding his empty desk associating his voice with that location. The hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle up as they would with an impending rainstorm.
"Go on..." the encouragement was obviously needed for him to complete his thought.
"You're not going to like what I have to say but I need you to understand why I did what I did and why I kept so much from you." Between breaths he paused longer than his normal cadence hoping for another prompt or maybe a way out. Fin was met with nothing but silence on the other end of the line so he continued, "I didn't happen upon Marks while I was in Havana. I got a tip from a UC stationed with the CIA and FBI joint forces that Marks was leading a double life and would be easy enough to catch off guard." He paused again feeling as though he could leave it here and she would most likely be able to assume the rest of the story. He knew that she wouldn't though. Fin knew Olivia well enough to know the thought had originally crossed her mind, but he also knew she would only entertain the idea as a passing thought. Letting an idea like that manifest would only cause greater heartache so he knew that fleeting moment of possibly was long since at the back of her mind. He would have to spell it out for her to even remotely accept the facts of this monumental betrayal.
"The UC picked me up from the airport and assisted with both resources and the actual capture of Marks while in Havana. He also assisted in getting transportation for the prisoner and arranging the legal run around the air service was giving me trying to transport a prisoner."
Olivia still sat stone faced, eyes glued to Fin's empty chair in the bullpen. Her heart rate was quickening with each passing syllable that Fin produced on the other end of the line. She was hanging on each breath, both wanting and fearing the truth of what she already had known. Olivia had considered the possibility that Fin's help may have been someone she once knew, but she also rationalized Fin had plenty of contacts, most from his undercover days in narcotics that could have relocated overseas. She also knew that entertaining the idea would only further her frustration and torment of having no information. On the other hand, she also thought she meant enough to Fin that she wouldn't be left out of something so monumental as the location of someone she had lost so many nights over.
The silence was never ending, Fin seemed to be holding his breath waiting for her to speak again and force the words from his mouth. When she had yet to speak, he prompted again, "Liv, I wish I was there to tell you in person but there's really not any time for me to wait. I just-"
The excuses were cut in half as Olivia finally made a sound from the other end of the line- "Fin just say it." Her gruff voice cut through him, void of any emotion or urgency. Almost as if she had no emotion or urgency, but Fin knew the words were torture for her to say and knew they had a deeper meaning. She wasn't going to absolve him for his lie, but she also was desperate for the confirmation of her fears and hopes.
"It was Elliot. He's been undercover in a smuggling ring off and on since he left. He's been in Cuba for the better part of 5 years and stumbled upon our guy. He took a big risk calling me and an even bigger one helping me bring Marks in he-" Olivia felt the ringing in her ears first, followed immediately by a heat that started in her belly. She wasn't sure if the heat was that of anger, longing, relief, pain, sorrow, she wasn't sure of anything at the moment. All she knew was Fin was giving her vital information that she couldn't even hear as she doubled over holding the phone even harder to her ear, surely leaving a nice red mark across the side of her face. "You there Liv?"
"He's been working the whole time?" She didn't know why her first thought was his career or why the first question wasn't directed at Fin's lack of moral compass for keeping her in the dark.
"Yeah, but did you hear what I said? He's headed there now." Suddenly an overwhelming sense of panic closed her throat, her eyes darted wildly to the entrance to the bullpen. Her breath must've caught audibly because Fin's voice was trying to calm her, but she couldn't hear it. All she could think was he could be here. Any minute. In her space again. Breathing her air again. Bastard. - Bastard seemed to be at the forefront of her mind. That bastard had let her sit here unknowing for 10 years with no word, but apparently was safe enough to make phone calls and arrange in person meetings and help kidnap rapists while she couldn't even get a lousy email, just a post-it note stuck to his replica badge. When she got home, both were coming out of her bedside drawer and going directly down the trash chute. Finally, Fin's voice penetrated her inner monologue with two words, "Organized Crime"
"-I don't know when your training with him will be but I'm sure IAB will keep you updated with being a new Captain and all that-"
"They expect me to train him? and wait what? Captain?"
"Have you heard a word I've said?" Fin huffed, but he couldn't blame her. He was honestly surprised he wasn't getting chewed out for having knowledge that was kept from her, though he knew the shock probably hadn't worn off yet so he wasn't in the clear. "He was pulled from his UC after busting a trafficking ring wide open that was transporting orphans from Cuba to the states via immigrant families. He was working for the FBI and CIA off the books and when they saw how great he did some guy higher up noted it to the NYPD who offered him a reinstatement to the force following extensive psych evals."
Quickly Olivia butted in, "And he went through them." stating it as a fact, but with a scoff that also sounded like disbelief. Bastard. He wouldn't see a shrink when he had to in order to stay her partner, but he'd do it for a Captains badge and back on the force 10 years later? And if he was getting trained today, that meant that he's been back for quite some time. He wouldn't be allowed near a Captains badge if he wasn't cleared for duty yet, and he definitely wouldn't already be assigned to a squad.
"How long Fin?" her voice shook as she fought through the onslaught of emotions. "How long has been out from UC?"
Fin paused, but only for a moment, "About a year."
She felt herself deflate. She had imagined the scenario on several very lonely night after his departure. One scenario being that he was undercover and therefore unable to contact her. Her mind had diluted herself into believing the second he returned she would be his first call. The man she thought she knew, believed she knew, ten years ago would never have done this to her. Her first clue that she really didn't know her ex-partner was when she was finally free of Lewis, and he wasn't the first face she saw. During her captivity she had fully believed that if he was out there, even undercover, that he would be out looking for her. It was the only thought that kept her going through Lewis's torture. When she emerged and he was nowhere to be found she dealt with his heartbreak and betrayal all over again. He was the one subject she ever kept from Lindstrom in her therapy sessions. She physically had not spoken his name in close to 10 years, only calling him by his appropriately distant noun "partner".
"He asked about you."
"Oh, how noble." Sarcasm dripped from her tongue as she revolted at the thought that Fin believed that would be enough to quench the rage bubbling inside her. She took a quiet breath closing her eyes trying to center herself. She couldn't sit here and let him impact her life like this anymore. He has had too much control over her throughout her life, and this would be her time to regain the power. Suddenly a ding from her laptop drew her attention. It was a high importance email from the newest Captain of IAB cc-ing several higher ups and one name she had only seen spelled out a handful of times in her last decade of life. Stabler.E
"Fin I've got to go" She huffed, not waiting for a reply, hanging up as she double clicked the email.
"All,
As you know, losing Captain Tucker was a great loss for our departments, beginning this week there will be some changes, rotations, and new faces coming around your respective squad rooms. Attached is the training as it pertains to your departments. Please be advised this is mandatory and it is expected that you or one of your squad members make arrangements that the training is completed by the requested date. Please also note that due to COVID-19 we will be conducting as many trainings via Zoom as possible. We will be limiting face to face interaction wherever possible and encourage the 6 ft rule as department mandates.
Please join me in welcoming Captain Elliot Stabler to the Organized Crime Unit.
The promotion of ..."
Olivia didn't bother reading the other names on the list. She quickly clicked the attachment which contained a 5 tag excel worksheet, each tab with a trainee's name plastered at the bottom.
Her mouse glided easily to the tab marked StablerE and began skimming the training schedule. Her breaths came easier when she saw her training was for the following week and would only last 3 days. In her experience, the trainings could last as short as an hour, if only she were that lucky, to upwards of 2 weeks depending on how closely the departments worked. Organized crime wasn't a department they worked with regularly, but she also had had several cases with crossover, so she knew the training WOULD be necessary for a new comer, but Elliot Stabler was not new to the world of SVU. He knew how to handle victims, or at least he used to.
The panic was renewed when her conversation with Fin resurfaced in the forefront of her mind. If her training with Elliot wouldn't start until next Monday, why would he be on his way here now as Fin stated?
Her eyes quickly flitted to the door to the squad room again, then subconsciously drifted to the desk that was only briefly his. It has long since been occupied by a flurry of other detectives, but in her mind, it was always his. She quickly pushed the memento of their time together to the vault with all the unspoken feelings she still held onto all these years later. Then and there she decided she would be Captain Olivia Benson, the woman untethered from Elliot Stabler. She was no longer his partner; he had no claim to her and no claim on any part of her life. This was the life SHE built and the life she would continue to protect.
Shit, she thought, she needed to get out of here. If he was on his way here and it wasn't for training that meant he was here to talk. She couldn't deal with that. He had no right to disrupt her whole life in one afternoon. She glanced at the clock, just after 3 pm. She could make a believable excuse that she wanted to spend one more early evening with Noah before school started full swing tomorrow. She glanced at the nearly vacant bullpen, she could take home a few casefiles and her laptop and get some work done while Noah and Lucy finished up his entrance exams and logging him in. Or better yet, she could grab a booth in the back of her favorite bar and work quietly while sipping a glass of wine and wait until 6 o'clock. 'That's exactly what I need after this damn day', she rationed with herself as she quickly grabbed her shoulder bag, dumping her laptop and several manilla enveloped filled to the brim with documents into it. Quickly donning her sleek black disposable mask that was now department issued and required to be disposed of daily, and charged to the bullpen. She caught Kat's eye as she scurried towards the door, "I'll see you tomorrow, going to call it an early evening. If you need anything you know how to reach me!" Without waiting for a response, she ran down the back stairs convincing herself it wasn't just for the seclusion and lessen chance that if Elliot was actually in the building their paths would cross. She reached the ground floor that opened up to the street and threw her momentum from taking the stairs so quickly into her escape route. Her bodyweight propelled the door open, her lungs intent on taking that first breath of fresh air, as the door slammed into a hard force, stopping it from opening the full way.
"Woah!" Said the force that stopped the doors motion prematurely, "In a hurry or something?" Olivia didn't need to look up, she could tell who the voice belonged to before it was even spoken. It was like all the air was sucked from the atmosphere. Thinking on her feet she quickly mumbled an apology, pretending she didn't notice the lifeforce was removed from her body, and tried to run past him without him noticing the person who just rammed him with the door was the person he was seeking inside the building.
She pushed past him keeping her eyes down and took two steps into the vacant alleyway. Her pursuit was halted by one simple word.
"Liv."