A/N: Well looks like I found something new to write. Feel free to let me know what you think of this first chapter. I have every intention of continuing but I'd like to know how I'm doing still as the ride goes along. Will be EO... wouldn't have it any other way... so don't hurt me after this first chapter ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or it's characters only ones I create, but I wish I did own for obvious reasons. ;)
If Walls Could Talk
Chapter 1
Crisp, cool heaven.
That's where she is.
It feels so sensational against her tired skin. The rough, yet blissfully wintry bed linen soothes every muscle in her legs. By now, they are aching. A long day in this field of work will do that one's limbs, unless one is blessed by being demoted to desk duty.
She's more comfortable being out in the field chasing down leads or witnesses rather than sitting and staring aimlessly at files on her desk these days. The empty remnant of a desk that sits across from hers now, only reminds her that she'd rather take the ache in her limbs over the one in her chest any day.
She raises her right arm above her head and stares at the ceiling of her bedroom. The room is bathed in darkness and the hint of moonlight seeps through the off white, half open window blinds. As she shifts onto her side, she feels as if she could sleep for days. But with the hint of sleep comes her thoughts.
She stretches her legs and feels the ripple of the sheets tickle the heels of her feet and it feels divine. She pulls the sheet up to her waist, letting it fall onto the skin below her tank and above her sleep shorts. It even cools the heated skin of her abdomen as she looks toward of the center of her queen sized bed.
It's been 267 days, she's counted them. The day Elliot left had seared a hole in her chest. Her being. Her emotions. He'd shot a young girl and he might as well have done the same to her. She felt like the bottom dropped out of her life the day he told her that he wasn't coming back.
She had come home that night and cried. She doesn't cry often because of work. She doesn't let herself. But, if he left her like this, she must be nothing to him other than work and that's what she will consider him from now on. She isn't going to cry over him, over the job, work, anymore. Well, just not as much she thinks to herself.
It had made her feel sick to her stomach. As close as they had been, she had considered him more than the job and up until he left, she thought he had considered her the same. Best friends, confidants.
But, he had left her, the job. Left her alone. She had no one. Him. But, he left. She had understood his reasons for leaving, considered his actions. But it was hard to swallow. She couldn't help but think she wasn't good enough, so he chose to leave. Being his partner and friend wasn't enough for him to get over his internal conflict.
She had understood his need to get help then. To get away. But the more she thinks about it now, she's not upset that he left, it's just the way that he's left. She's repeated these thoughts in her head a million times since that night and it doesn't change now.
She scoots herself higher in bed, and rests her head on the pillow. The coolness of it plays with the skin on her cheek as she moves her head soothingly over the surface.
Elliot's gone.
He has been for over 8 months. She's not even sure where he is. She's not even sure if he is with his family.
He's called her twice. Twice. Once he had called to check on her. She had been so stunned and at a loss for words that she hadn't had any time or conscience thought to ask any drastic details about him. He'd asked how she was doing and how the cases were going. She'd told him the cases were just as hard as they'd been when he'd been there to witness them. She was just doing them on her own it felt like.
Munch and Fin alternate with her now but it feels like she's on her own for the most part. What can she say? They are no Elliot and if she wants to be honest with them one day and to herself, she could tell them, but she won't. Sometimes it feels like she's on the edge of a cliff and an inch more, she's falling... the uneasiness of not having solid ground in front of her or at her back scares her.
She never really noticed how dependent she'd been on Elliot always being there. Being confident he had her six, while she had his was endearing. It was quite a feeling to have another mind work so in sync with her own.
That syncronization has been off, way off, for the past eight months.
Elliot had taken a deep breath at the end of the first call, either tired of hearing about something he was done with in his life, or genuinely sorry for her, she couldn't tell. He had told her to take care of herself and he'd talk to her later. That was a month after he left.
He didn't call back again until two months later. It had been brief. He had told her he was feeling better. He just needed time to recouperate. He wanted to know how she and the squad were all doing and she simply replied they were all doing ok. She told him she hoped he was taking care of himself too, and he laughed quietly and said he was. Another brief silence swepted over the conversation until Elliot softly spoke up saying he missed seeing them all and told her good night and then he was gone. The line dead.
That was 5 months ago.
She hasn't heard a word from her partner, her former partner, in 5 months and she hasn't physically seen him in eight. It worries her that he hasn't called. She knows he is probably ok. He really isn't required to give her a play by play of what he's doing. What he is doing away from his former life, the job, her, is his own business she supposes. She still likes to know he still exists for her own sake. His calls, even though few and far between, have kept her sane.
But since that last call, she's had less time to worry about him. He'll never slip from her mind, ever. She just has more in her life now than she's had for awhile and having Elliot in it, even just in her memory, still makes everything else a bonus. She'll never completely shake him from her thoughts.
As the thoughts start to fade somewhat, Olivia lifts her eyes to the lump that forms a white mound of fabric in front of her.
The figure shifts a little bit in the covers and she smiles to herself. He'd been asleep already when she poured herself into bed. He hadn't stirred. It had been a late night at work for her dealing with a complicated case and she had hoped she wouldn't wake him coming in.
She shifts her body underneath the sheets trying to relax her muscles unable to keep the sheets from rising and falling over his torso.
He's wearing just his light blue cotton sleep shorts that drape mid way over his chiseled thigh and the elastic waistband stretches nicely over his taught abdomen. His own head burrows into the white sheath of a pillow and his short light brown hair scatters across the white.
The moonlight seems to brighten as a cloud dissipates across the sky, leaving his one cheek bathed in a silver tint showing off his light beard. It makes him looks staunt, keen and dominant even in his sleep. He's a very attractive man. When standing, he's about 6'2" and to any onlooker one could easily call attention to his slight resemblance to one of Olivia's favorite actors, Gerard Butler. He could easily pass for his brother. He's four years younger than she and looks extremely good for forty.
He has been a Godsend.
She had met him not long after the last phone call she recieved from Elliot five months ago. Eric Phillips had walked up to her at the bar down the street from her apartment. She had gone in to take the edge off because of a particularly tough case that day. He hadn't been shy in the least when he had asked her straight up if she would be interested in having a drink with him. At first she was weary of his intentions but she ended up learning alot about conversation that night had been an easy flow of words which she still vividly recalls.
He'd gotten off work early and had told her he often found himself there, just soaking in the scene or catching a game on the overhead television. He had told her he didn't really want to go home to nothing right away. He'd said he had just moved into his apartment which was only a few blocks from hers. Over their conversation she had picked up that he was single with no kids and that he came from a family who had owned a farm in Iowa.
A series of different jobs over his life made him find his way to New York City. He'd been here for 5 years working in a warehouse that stored plane parts. He'd explained how he had always wanted to join the air force but never got to it. He wasn't strict enough with himself he had joked with her.
Even though they had come from very different family situations and backgrounds, he being one of four children, while his parents ran the farm, they still had very much in common. They were only simple things, but significant enough for Olivia to take notice.
They had stayed at the bar and chatted for hours it seemed. He was very flirtatious and Olivia hadn't minded it one bit. She hadn't had the best of luck with men in the past and having someone immediately warm up to her was a welcome grace.
She had told him a few brief things about herself, one being that she was a cop, it's best to get that little tidbit out of the way she had thought to herself. She was floored when he had told her he could tell that she was and that's why he felt gravitated towards her when she walked in.
She had also explained her relationship status and why but he hadn't seemed to mind a bit. He had given her his number after all. Right before she picked up to leave, he slipped a wad of paper into her hand and said to give him a call, winking at her as she smiled back at him while walking out of the dimly lit bar.
After a few days, she had called the number and a second "meeting" had been set up at the same bar and here they were now, months later.
Olivia couldn't help feeling attracted and content with him then, and as she watches him sleep the familiar feeling creeps into her.
He lets out a soft grunt as he rolls over onto his side that is facing her, pulling on the sheets wrapped around both of their bodies. Despite the obvious tug in the sheets because of her form, he remains asleep, his shallow breaths steady and even.
She doesn't want to wake him but the overwhelming want to stroke his exposed cheek wins out. She takes her fingertips and runs them lightly along his jaw line feeling the stubble of his thickening beard. She's still getting used to having an extra body in her bed, or in her home for that matter she thinks.
He's been staying at her place for about two weeks now. He does go back to his place every so often to grab a new set of clothes, but her place ends up being his last destination for the night. Right now, he's working part time so he's at Olivia's apartment more and more.
She revels in the thought of possibly waking up and coming home to him for the rest of her life. It may be a too early to tell thing, but she's always wanted to get married and be a wife to a man she cared about deeply and who returned those feelings.
She may never have children, but having a husband could suffice. She just hopes that this will work out for a least a little while, if not longer. She's enjoyed having a masculine entity in her life other than Elliot for once. A protector of another sort. The one she can touch and feel without warning. The thought is sauntering to her. It's so easy to do so with someone she's only really known for a few months.
If only it wasn't such a complicated web with Elliot, she thinks. The forbidden touches. The unspoken rules. Boudaries.
Her thoughts quickly return back to the man lying in front of her, seemingly oblivious in sleep to feel her form directly in front of him.
She softly runs her knuckles over his other cheek that is faced down toward the bed. The feeling sends goosebumps across her skin as the prickly hairs run along her knuckles as each bone drags across the flaxen hair one by one. She closes her eyes letting sleep threaten it's way into her tuckered out body.
"You're home," his voice comes out of nowhere, deep and sleep laced .
"Mhmm," she purrs as she opens her eyes slowly caressing his face. He stares half awake blinking away the sleep as she continues. "I didn't want to wake you since it's one in the morning," she whispers to him with a small smile as eyes her try to droop closed again.
"You never called me," he whispers, ignoring her reason for not waking him. "I waited but ended up going to bed. I was a little worried." He looks up at her with a stern face as he shifts higher up onto the bed near the headboard, propping himself up on his elbow while looking in her direction.
"There was no reason to worry. I didn't have much free time to recieve or make any calls this evening anyways. I'm sorry I worried you though," she explains in a soft voice. She presses her hand into the sheets between them, looking at him beneath her eyelashes.
"You didn't have time to call," he adds matter of factly.
He looks at her for a second and she looks at him wondering what he's thinking."Yea, SVU is a rough place to work. I'd call you every chance I got if the opportunities were there," she grins flirtatiously. She keeps her eyes on him as he looks down at his hand propping himself up.
Shaking his head he adds,"Oh." He looks back up at her face again. "Just let me know next time, ok? I still worry, you can't blame me for that." His solemn expression slowly turns into a smile. "All is forgiven," he whispers in a cocky undertone.
Olivia sits up slightly, propping herself up on her own elbow looking at him and soaking in his words. She decides to give him the benefit of the doubt in his reasoning for this whole conversation. Maybe he just needs to get used to her job and what it requires. They've only been like this, him in her bedroom, in her life like this for a little over two weeks. It is possible this type of questioning is inevitable, she thinks to herself.
She lifts her eyes searching for his and when she finds his gaze, she gives him a slight nod as to agree with his acceptance of her vague "apology." She doesn't particularly like the way he is putting her at fault for something so minor and out of her hands but she assumes it's something they'll have to learn about each other as their relationship progresses.
She is a grown woman and independent as all hell and has been all of her life. She won't let this guilt trip happen on a regular basis. She wants to let him know because she really likes Eric. He treats her well and makes her feel good. He takes her out when he can and makes every fool of an onlooker jealous with his actions. He's given her all his free time possible and she can't ask for more. She's needed it. Someone.
She might even love him. Just maybe. She doesn't want this early tiff to go unnoticed. She decides to talk to him about that sooner than later. She falls back onto her side and slowly rolls onto her back staring at the ceiling.
"We had a tough case today, " she says in her normal voice. "Young girl was being abused by her step dad. He was also loaning her out to his neighbor friends. Mom of the little girl went nuts on us. Come to find out, the little girl was the product of her own mother's migivings." Olivia lays still for a second before turning her head toward Eric's unflinching form.
"Sounds terrible," he returns under his breath. He gently runs a hand along her exposed forearm. "Wanna talk about it?"
Considering talking about it lasts all but 5 seconds before she answers with a yawn. "No... it'll be ok. Too tired." She closes her eyes and rests her head closer to his.
"Hmm," Eric mumbles as he puts his palm flat against her bare arm. He glides it soothingly across the toned muscle of her arm. His slightly roughened skin and warm hands send chills over her body. He moves his lips close to her ear breathing heavily, each breath ruffling the hair around it. Pressing his lips against the flexible flesh of her ear he whispers harshly, "Too tired for this?"
He licks her ear lightly, moving his lips down the side of her cheek bone while running his palm down her arm. His hand stops but his mouth doesn't. He trails down her jawline, then towards her chin. Slowly he plants a soft kiss on her plush lips. She complies while keeping her eyes closed.
She soaks in his touch and kisses thinking about the time they've been together. Like always, Elliot pops into her head, but only briefly. She wonders what he's doing right now. Surely, not about to do what she is. That'll be too much of a coincidence. The thought of him while she's being intimate with another man frightens her a little bit.
Instead, she sings a tune in her head, that goes I found someone, to take away the heartache, to take away the loneliness I've been feeling since you've been gone. She laughs at herself on the inside and turns her head toward the man using his lips on her skin.
Before she has a chance to register the touch, Eric's moving his mouth toward her neck. He plants small kisses here and there, suckling the soft skin and biting every so often. She tenses with the light feel of his teeth, but then it's back to light brush strokes of his lips and tongue over the same area of her neck.
Her breath hitches in her throat as she tries to articulate words, "Would you try not to leave a hickey? I don't want to have to explain it to the other guys," she laughs softly. Goosebumps start to pop on her skin as his hands start to move again reaching for the exposed skin of her stomach just underneath the sheet. He runs his hand over her abdomen while never letting up on her neck. He makes his way a little lower capturing her clavicle in between his lips. He works his way all the way across to the other side of her chest before stopping.
"I wouldn't want them to suspect," he tries to say innocently all the while grinning.
She hasn't exactly told any of her collegues about her new beau, but she figures the time will come.
Olivia tenses up again as her thoughts fall to his lips ticking her skin with each need is there. The second he had latched onto the rigid bone in her chest, the throb went straight to her core. She gently opens her eyes and he's staring at her.
His eyes are dark despite the light green tint of them in normal light. He wants her, she can tell.
He stares for a few moments longer until Olivia reaches up her closest arm and cups his cheek bringing him down for a deep, wet kiss. She massages his lips with hers, gently running her tongue across his bottom one. He lets her roam his mouth slowly opening his, then pushing his own tongue into hers massaging hers.
He methodically begins to ease his body on top hers as she grabs his other cheek with her free hand, holding his face close to hers. "Make love to me," she whispers breathily. She can already feel his erection through his cotton shorts. It presses into her leg as she adjusts her body underneath his pure masculine build.
They've had sex before. In the second month of their relationship, they'd had a quick romp inside his apartment. It had been fast and quick, but not displeasing one bit up against the wall. He was big, and he filled her just a little bit too much to where it had mader her sore for awhile afterward but it had been exciting in every way.
They'd even had a quick incident in her apartment once too. Before she left for work one morning, he'd grabbed her from behind and made her scream in pleasure on her couch. She's surprised it hadn't awoken her neighbors.
But barring those two instances, work hasn't permitted much interaction between them recently, let alone time for him to actually make love to her instead of quick fucks. She was looking forward to this, right now. She's been taking her birth control regularly, so she doesn't worry, all she worries about is the building need for him to be inside of her.
He brushes the hair out of her face and slides his fingers through one of the straps of her tank top. He then pulls the other strap down and lowers the fabric down to her abdomen exposing her olive colored breasts.
Instantly, his mouth latches onto the right one lapping his tongue across her hardened nipple, tracing his tongue in a circle around the darker area. He brings her sensitized breast into his hot, wet mouth and suckles and licks as she rolls her head back into the pillow. A soft moan escapes as her back arches into his hips.
With that, every ache she felt when she first poured into the sheets, slowly melts away. Eric moves his mouth to her other breast groping and licking around her dark colored nipple.
Looking up, she watches him move above her in the silky, white moonlight still oozing through the blinds. He is so handsome, with his rugged facial features and that scratchy beard she just wants to run her hands over constantly and that wide set upper body, she can't ask for more in this moment.
She loves the way he treats her. So passionately, yet with dominace and with tactic. Tonight, right now, couldn't be any more perfect. Just them in her bedroom, along with the moonlight, the silence, other than her soft moans and his groans as he ravages her breasts, makes it all blissfully right.
With the way he was making her feel already with his hands on her, something tells her the silence will be shattered in a rough way, very soon.
He sits back on his knees with a thigh in between hers and stares down at her. A grin forms at the corner of his mouth as he plays with the elastic of her sleep shorts. "You're so beautiful, Olivia."
The way he always says her full name makes her tense again. She shivers as the cool air around them captures her skin in it's grip. Olivia looks into his eyes and smiles at his words silently aknoweledging him as he pulls her shorts down a little lower revealing her hip bones. "Mmmm," she moans as she watches his eyes slowly take in her body, catching his gaze with hers before he lowers his head slightly to hers.
"It drives me crazy when you look at me like that," he grunts with lust. With that she smirks and he wastes no time in yanking the shorts down her legs.
He takes in every square inch of her exposed flesh. Leaning down a bit, he arches her legs for her, writhing the cloth off from her lower body. He tosses the fabric to the floor before spreading her legs before him. Looking at his face, she can feel the worried expression she wears but hopes a hint of longing resides in it too.
The few men she had been with over the years hardly did this for her. They usually weren't there long enough for that. Some had left before daylight hit her sheets.
What he's doing is scary but in a gratifying way. He notices the hesitation in her facial features and before she can muster up anything to say, he smirks slyly and spreads her legs apart even more while they are still arched. He runs his palms down her inner thighs and rests them right outside her heated mound. As she watches him, her mind goes numb to the erotic sensation coursing through her groin. He massages her clit with his tongue and it's beyond anything she's ever felt. He slowly laps his tongue against her sensitive rise and then slides it down along her core.
She grabs ahold of the sheets to the side of her with each movement of his tongue. She can't breath from the tickling of his tongue. It's pure heat and bliss.
He notices her wet, heated core as he flicks his tongue once more. He relents for a split second to pull at his own shorts, snug because of his thick erection gasping for air in the tight fabric. He sits up on his knees allowing Olivia's spread legs close a little bit. As she watches him move above her legs, his wide set torso flexes and she can see the tiny tattoo on his right breast bone. It looks like a rose, but it's too dark to tell. She wonders why she hadn't noticed it before. It isn't very big, that's probably why, she thinks to herself. They'd been so in the heat of the moment in their previous intimate encounters, it must've slipped her attention.
His shorts are gone now, and she takes in his solid, thick cock standing up at the base of his hips. He's full and ready for her and her heart starts to pound. She's nervous this time, but she doensn't have much more time to ponder his length.
Before another thought can cross her mind, her legs are being spread open and in one not so gently thrust, he's inside of her. Olivia's head bows back and her mouth flies open to the physicality of his entrance. Before she even has time to adjust to his vaguely familiar size, he's pounding into her.
God, he was supposed to be making love, not fucking me to death, she thinks to herself. But, as quickly as the pinch started the pleasure starts to seep into her insides. He's got one palm pinned to the bed on each side of her breasts, her hands gripping his shoulders. With him nestled in the arches of her legs, he thrusts with vengeance and Olivia can feel every single one of them.
She quickly rolls her hips to divert some of the contact but he grips her hip, holding it down while moves inside of her walls, massaging this tense muscles and sensitive areas inside. The pace is so fast it still hurts a little bit, but as he shifts his hips and moves in circles she can feel the pleasure build up at the same time. She doesn't know if she's happy or sad about that. He's going so hard into her opening that she's going to come not even 5 minutes in and she knows just by his actions he's not going to be done when she comes. Having him pound into her while still recovering from her first orgasm is going to be brutal.
To her surprise, his hip action relents a bit and he begins rolling his hips forward. Olivia slides her hands down his sides and cups his ass cheeks. She can feel his full ass flex as he continues to roll his lower body forward, sliding his hard dick into her slippery insides.
"God, right there," she moans. It feels so good. She thinks about all the times she's read about how women describe orgasms. It's that sensation of an itch deep inside your walls that you can't quite scratch... well that's what it feels like as he grips her hips, hard, and continues his pulsating actions. The itch is getting stronger.
His pace quickens again and the harder he thrusts, the more she feels him sliding in and out of her.
She looks in between their moving bodies to see the shadow of his dick appear and dissappear like a magic act. After seeing him lose himself inside of her only briefly to pull back out a few times, he stops his actions. He pulls her close to his body, wrapping her legs around his hips. He kisses her lips then her chest before gripping her tightly and rolling them both over.
He's so dominant and controlling of his actions that she's surprised by his current movement. He's letting her ride him. At least, she can control the pace somewhat this way. She begins her hip action, lifting slowly and falling back down with just as much force. Easy. He is so big inside of her she still hasn't fully adjusted to him yet. As she rises and lowers her lower body, her palms rest on his tight stomach for leverage.
He watches below with hooded eyes as her body pumps up and down on him. He sees her plump, but not too plump, breasts bounce slightly with the tilt of her hips.
Feeling his climax coming, he grips Olivia's ribs underneath each breast hard, urging her faster and harder causing her hands to fall behind her gripping his upper thighs. She senses his need and reluctantly complies. She throws her head back all the while his hands are gripping her relentlessly as he now guides her up and down his hard shaft.
The walls of her bedroom capture his loud grunts of her full name and her moans of pleasure that ripple through her when the soarness subsides, confining the noises as if to save them for proof it happened.
She bounces on him for a few minutes until she feels that all to familiar sensation ripple through her core. She clenches around him, tightly, wishing he would come too. Any more of this and she won't be able to move for a week. To her liking, he thrusts a few more times through her tightness and shoots his seed deep inside of her. Her back arches one last time as he pulls her bare breasts against his chest, pressing them tightly together.
"Oh shit, Oivia!" He mumbles into her hair, muffling out the deep sound of his voice. "You were great," he commends softly against the skin of her shoulder.
Olivia lifts her mouth to his chin and kisses it lightly before rubbing her hands up and down his biceps. "Yea," she admits softly. "You were wonderful." She gives him a small grin and rolls off of his hips. He falls onto his back as they lay there for a second, panting heavily.
Almost contiguously, Olivia feels the after effects of what just happened just as she had expected. She shifts beneath the sheets turning toward the small night stand grabbing at her cell phone. Squinting at the bright light eminating from the phone, she sets her alarm for 6 am so she can shower and clean up before heading back to the precinct. They both end up dozing off within minutes and silence fills the bedroom.
The moonlight seems to glare down onto their bare skin as if to reflect what remains of their bodies after the storm.
Her alarm sounds abruptly at 6 am sharp. She notices the covers around her waist and her exposed breasts milked in sunlight.
As she shifts to grab her cell she can almost instantly feel the throb between her legs since it's only been a few hours since their love making. This could be an uncomfortable day at work, she thinks.
Trudging toward the bathroom for her shower, she notices Eric's sleeping form resting on his side. He looks peaceful. With that thought, she turns around and enters the bathroom closing the door quietly behind her. She chances a look in the mirror at her dishoveled hair and gasps in shock at the dark purple bruises underneath both of her breasts.
They were supposed to have had made love last night, and all she appears like right now is someone coming out of a night of rough sex. She gently rubs the dark skin and drops her hands with a sigh. She sort of feels beat up. If it wasn't for that intense orgasm Eric gave her she'd be a little worried. With that quickly going to the back of her mind, she slips into the hot spray of the shower washing away all evidence of the night before, well most of it. She'd feel him in between her thighs for awhile.
As quickly as she gets in, she is quickly standing back inside of her bedroom getting dressed. Eric slowly awakes as Olivia buttons up her black slacks. She doesn't know he's awake as he watches her scamper around her bedroom so she won't be late. She heads out the door and grabs her watch as she quickly turns to close the door behind her.
Before the door closes all the way, his voice vibrates in a low sing-song voice, "Don't forget to call me today."
She looks at him with hint of confusion in her expression. She doesn't answer him, just nods her head. He smiles brightly as she closes the door the rest of the way. She grabs her gun and shield out of the bureau in the living room and heads for the elevators that will take her down to the building's head entrance.
Hailing a cab, she thinks about Eric's last words. If he again expects her to drop everything just to call him, after what she told him last night, then he had another thing coming. She's not particulary mad or annoyed by his words, it just reminds her of the talk they need to have. She needs to explain some things. She needs space, even after the sex they had last night, they both have a right to their own space... and she needs some.
Shifting uncomfortably in the backseat of the cab, she stares out the side window all the way to the 1-6.