A/N: Your life is a reflection of how effectively you balance potential and kinetic energy.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show or the characters, but, oh, how I wish I did.

March 29th, 4:00 PM

"What about his family?" Melinda crossed her arms, her fingers pulling at the white cotton of her lab coat. "Is this gonna be weird for them? Cause some kind of Catholic explosion?"

Laughing, Olivia shook her head. "No, uh…I know most of his family." She shrugged and gave Warner a slight smile. "I spent a few holidays with him, ya know?" She glanced across the room, focused beyond the glass doors, and stared at Elliot's stern face as he spoke to a lab technician. Christmases and Thanksgiving replayed in her mind; she remembered meeting his brother Logan, who works in the finance district and loves vintage cars. She recalled the way his brother Collin, a professional drag racer, hit on her before knowing who she was, and she remembered refusing to go out with him when he'd asked, simply because Elliot had looked sick about it. Then the memories of his sister, Nicole, crept up. Upon first meeting, she'd been cold and complacent, but when she realized Olivia was the person her brother couldn't stop talking about, they'd become close enough to be sisters themselves. It seemed that now, it was practically official. She turned back to Melinda and rubbed her lips together for a moment. "I know two of his brothers, his sister, um…I know his brother-in-law, Fisher, and I've met his…"

"Mother?" Melinda tilted her head. "Have you met his mother?" She leaned forward and whispered, "You know, you told me once, you thought she was dead, but Fin told me she's living in Jersey, at the beach in…"

"Mel, I know," Olivia interrupted with a laugh. "He let me believe she was dead for a while, but there was a reason. Uh, one Christmas…" she bit her lip and tugged on the hem of her shirt. "I was just dropping off presents, Kathy'd made it pretty damn clear she didn't want me there, and I saw her. His mom. I ignored it, for a while, but he eventually told me…" she shut her eyes, the tragic tales flipping around her memory like bound pages of a book she read too many times. "He told me why he couldn't introduce me to her then. But now…"

"It's good that you guys talk," Melinda cut in, almost sadly. She sighed and dragged a hand through her curly hair. "You've always told each other everything, huh? Always had each other, someone to vent to, comfort during the rough cases." She looked down at her feet and scuffed her right heel along the tiled floor. "You've never lied to each other? Not once?"

"No, we'd kill each other if we did," Olivia said, then noticed the glazed look in Warner's eyes. "What's going on?" She looked over her shoulder, across the lab, watching Fin and Elliot move and gesture wildly as they berated the lab tech for some unknown reason. "You think Fin's lying to you about something?" She returned her focus to her friend. "You don't think you can talk to Fin about work? He'd understand more than anyone."

"I cut open a ten-year-old last night," Melinda breathed. "I cried, for two hours, alone, in the bathroom," she blinked once and held out her hands. "I tried to talk to him when we got home, but…" she swallowed hard and sighed again. "He patted me on the shoulder and told me a joke about a short giraffe. He didn't want to hear about it, told me if we brought work home with us, we'd never have a real home life. So I locked myself in the bathroom until I got it all out." After a long, deep sigh, she crossed her arms again and leaned against the metal table behind her. "You two do that? Leave work behind like it never happened?"

"Most of the time we talk about it in the car or at a bar, before we get home," Olivia admitted. "But when it's something that really gets to us, then we talk it out when the kids go to bed, if we have to. We scream, cry, yell, I meditate and let him punch a few holes in the wall, and we…"

"Fuck it out?" Warner joked. Then she elbowed Olivia and jutted her chin forward. "He's waiting for you." Her eyes narrowed. "Well, I guess he's not anymore." She turned and smiled. "You've waited for each other for too damn long, ya know." She rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder and squeezed. "Whatever you need, I'm here. When you're ready to take a test…"

"You'll be my first call," Olivia spoke, winking at her friend, then she shuffled around the racks and carts and headed over to Elliot. "Anything?"

Elliot shook his head and scoffed. "Ryan told me that since the cases are connected he has to run all the evidence before releasing results, and since the body dump was our dead guy's daughter, it's all being kicked over to Organized Crime and we officially have nothing to do with it now." He let out a hard breath and punched his balled fists into his pockets. "You and Warner looked like you were having a pretty intense conversation."

Olivia sighed and turned, leading Elliot out of the lab and through the halls. "Just girl talk," she muttered. "And she's surprised that we've never lied to each other. Well, unless you count your mother and…"

"I told you why I never talked about my mother," he spat quickly. He stopped moving and reached out, hooking his hand around her bending arm, and he pulled her back into him roughly. When her irritated eyes met his, he dropped his head alighted and lowered his voice, "I told you everything." His free hand rolled down the side of his suit jacket.

"You did," she said to him. She looked away from him and tried to move but his grip on her arm tightened and his forehead pressed against hers. "What are you doing?"

"Promising you," he whispered, "That I will never shut you out, and I will never keep anything from you." He kissed her cheek and then said, "We should…call my mom later. She wants us to head out there next weekend." He cleared his throat and let go of her, backed away a bit, and lifted the cuff of his sleeve a few inches to check his watch. "Okay, uh, we should run up and tell Cragen…"

"Fin say something to you?" she tilted her head and started moving again, knowing where he was in such a rush to go. "Because Melinda…"

"He chokes every time he tries to talk to her," Elliot sighed, "And he's afraid that when he does tell her everything, she'll leave him." He veered right and led Olivia up the stairs. "He has a complicated past."

"So do you," she huffed as she stomped to catch up to him. "So do I, I mean…shit, do you know how terrifying it was for me to tell you about my mother? And my father? What I am, where I come from? I told you because I trusted you to…"

He turned instantly and tried to tell her without saying anything at all. He exhaled and licked his lips, trembling fingers reached for her as he tried to smile without letting himself cry. "Exactly," he softly spoke. Resting his palm against the side of her cheek, he ran the pad of his thumb under her left eye and said, "You knew, almost as soon as we met, that you could trust me. With your fucking life, baby. I've never given you a reason not to and I never will." He leaned closer, bent his head, and kissed her forehead.

She cleared her throat as he backed up, and together they walked up their last flight of stairs. He pushed the door open and held it for her as she walked into the hallway. Watching her move, he smirked and ran a hand down the front of his tie. So many nights, he'd taken the fantasy of her to bed with him. Dreaming about her body beneath his, wondering what sounds she'd make or trying to picture the look on her face as she'd come, as he'd make her come. Thoughts like that had kept him up at night for years, but now he knew. He didn't have to wonder what she felt like because he buried himself in her every chance he got; she felt like a velvet-lined vice. And he didn't have to imagine what she tasted like because her flavor lingered on his tongue; the sweet-tart blend was a constant craving now. What kept him up at night now was watching her eyes change color with every touch, listening to her soft moans and harsh curses, feeling her body writhe and tighten.

"Hey!" She snapped her fingers in front of his face, then grinned as he blinked rapidly and focused on her. "Wherever you went, must have been amazing by the look on your face. Next time, take me with you."

He chuckled, licked his lips again, and in a low voice, he said, "I'm taking you there tonight. A couple of times." He saw her eyes darken and widen and he opened his mouth to say something else when Cragen's voice stopped him from speaking. He turned quickly, hoping he didn't look as red-hot as he felt. "Yeah, Cap?"

Olivia folded her arms and shifted to one side, the heat radiating off of her partner engulfing her as well. She knew what the look in his eyes meant, what he'd been thinking about. "Problem?" she asked, eyeing Cragen.

"Fin called, said your vic in the alley was a mob hit," Cragen bit his lip and shook his head. "I need to keep the two of you as far away from anything this twisted up, so I kicked the whole thing over to…"

"We know," Elliot interrupted. "I got an earful down in the lab, those guys didn't waste any time, practically ripped all of the evidence outta my hands. They wanna deal with the headache, let 'em." He scratched a patch of scruffy skin on the side of his chin, then looked directly at Cragen. "We get any other calls? It's Saturday, I'd like to spend some time with my kids, if you don't need…"

"Go," Cragen barked, and he pointed a finger, narrowing his eyes. "Fin and Munch are on it, from our end. Tucker already thinks you have more ties to one side of the coin than the other, so until I call either of you, you and your partner stay away from this case."

"Tucker has his head up his ass," Elliot quipped, "And we have no intention of working if we don't have to." He nodded once, grabbed a set of keys off of a hook by his desk, and then gave Olivia a quick kick to goad her back through the squadroom doors. "Before the phone rings, Benson, move."

Looking over her shoulder at him, she laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm actually annoyed at these guys, yanking this case out from under our feet. That poor girl…"

"I promise," he interrupted her as he rushed toward the elevators, and he pushed the call button then gripped her hand tightly. "As soon as they know anything, we'll know. I have a friend…"

"You always have a friend," she teased, rolling her eyes. Following him through the sliding doors, she let him tug her closer to him. "Thanks." She knew that the only reason he had a pal promise to keep them in the loop was that she always needed to know that justice was done, that the victims and families were given the closure they so desperately deserved. Because she never got justice for her mother. She never got closure.

Without saying a word, he kissed her forehead and leaned back against the wall of the elevator, taking her with him. His left hand shifted and he dug his cell phone out of his pocket. "I'm gonna tell the kids to order a pizza, we have a stop to make on the way home, and it's gonna take a while."

As she watched him type, she felt his right hand on her back, running in slow circles, and her head dropped to his shoulder. "I'm okay," she whispered.

"Yeah, you are," he said, and his eyes slipped shut as his lips found the crown of her head. He didn't stop his soothing caress, even though she wasn't tense or jittery, he wasn't taking any chances. This elevator held one too many bad memories. His voice cracked as he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you," she returned, but she popped up as soon as the words left her mouth. With narrow eyes, she robotically followed him out through the opening elevator doors, into the hall, through the lobby, all the while wondering when it became so simple, when the words that once were so terrifying to think, let alone speak, became the only ones she wanted to say. As soon as they made it through the front doors of the precinct, she gasped. "El," she breathed, stopping in her tracks.

He turned fast, confused, and looked down at their clasped hands. "What? What's the matter?"

Shaking her head, she leaned forward, stood up a bit straighter, and kissed him. Her right hand clutched his as her left swooped up and cupped the side of his face. It was the first time she'd so boldly made the move, the decision to do it where they could and would be seen by their colleagues and superiors. When she pulled away, she licked her lips with still-closed eyes. "I love you."

Stricken stiff, Elliot did little more than nod once and make an odd humming noise. Slowly, he smiled, looked around, and then smugly pulled on his tie. "You sure you're okay?" He narrowed his eyes as she started walking again, guiding him toward the black truck that had now become not just his, but theirs. She'd driven it to the station before swapping it out for their beat-up maroon sedan, the car that carried more memories and secrets than anyone else knew.

"I'm absolutely fine," she answered with a one-shouldered shrug. "I just remembered, um, why I could never tell you how I felt before." She rolled her eyes at his agape expression. "Kathy had nothing to do with it," she spoke, replying to his unvoiced question. "It was more about being afraid of losing you," she admitted. "What if you didn't want me, if I completely embarrassed myself or pissed you off, or if it made things weird." She reached for the handle of the passenger side door, a small laugh escaping as she waited for him to unlock it. "How long it's been, how fucking long I've wanted this," she looked at him. "Wanted you."

"You have me," he said throatily, smiling down at her, and he slipped one thick finger underneath the gold chain around her neck. "And the feelings and fears were mutual, ya know. The whole damn time." Sliding his finger lower, he flicked the medallion into his palm. "This…when I gave this to you, when I said it meant forever…I was serious." His eyes flickered, his nostrils flared once. Running the pad of his thumb over the embossed emblem on the medal, he let out a trembling breath. "I never even asked you…we're doing things out of order, here," he chuckled. Focusing on her brown eyes, he tilted his head and smiled in a way that he hoped conveyed how happy he really was, genuinely, for the first time in his life. "That okay with you?"

Laughing, she nodded and got into the car, and once she buckled her seatbelt, she exhaled through pursed lips. The voice in her head that had been screaming this is too soon and he's going too fast seemed to be silenced, replaced by a softer, meeker one that whispered baby names and echoed wedding plans. Itchy fingers grasped at her medallion, still warm from his touch, and her smile grew into a content expression. When she heard him settle into the driver's seat, she spoke, her eyes still trained on the gold pendant. "I was thinking…"

"Uh-oh," Elliot intruded playfully. He avoided her swatting hand as he started the car, "Kidding, kidding. What were you thinking about?"

Folding her arms, she bit her lip. "One, I know what you're gonna say, but hear me out. This is the third case this month with ties to the…"

"I'm stopping you right there," he interrupted, turning the steering wheel a bit too roughly. "You're right, you know you are. But Cragen told me not to go digging, and I'm not putting our family in the crosshairs of anyone on Masucci's payroll." He exhaled and shook his head as he swerved to avoid a pothole, cursing under his breath about the city needing to spend more money on road repair. "There was a one," he spat, "Meaning there's a two. What else ya got?"

Her eyes had narrowed as soon as he said our family, and she hadn't fully recovered enough to continue speaking. After taking a deep breath, she rolled the tension out of her neck and said, "Two...if you want to go out to your mother's next weekend, I think we should."

"Yeah?" his snippy attitude had faded, and his eyes lit up like a child's. "Okay, yeah," he nodded, then turned the wheel again, pulling the car over. He shifted it into park, unbuckled his seatbelt, and then looked at her. "Good, you can keep her occupied so she doesn't notice my new tattoo." He leaned over and kissed her quickly, then got out of the car.

Following his lead, she squinted, and as she shut the door behind her, she said, "I thought you were getting it somewhere no one was gonna see it." She raised one eyebrow and smirked. "Except me."

"Changed my mind." He opened the door to Shotzie's Parlor, held it for her, and then, as he took off his jacket and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt, he said, "I want the whole world to see this one." He dropped his head. "The next one, though…" he winked, "Just for you."

"How many more could you possibly get?" She eyed him up and down, wondering how Kathy had missed several of the ones he already had, then grinned because she knew what it meant.

Rolling up his sleeves, he shrugged and pouted slightly. "They're addictive," he told her. "And each one I get means something to me. Things that matter most, I carry them with me, wherever I go. For life." He nodded at her. "This won't be the first one that's purely you, either, Benson." He chuckled at the surprised look on her face. "When we get home, you need to take a closer look at the butterfly." His eyes widened immediately. "Not..not that close...I didn't mean…"

Her kiss silenced him, her hands wrapped around his neck, and she felt him relax as he pulled her closer. "I know," she breathed as she pulled back. She smiled as she felt his lips press against her forehead, her body sinking into his hold. "I have seen the thing, ya know. When did you even get it?"

Laughing softly, he said, "Two years ago. Almost exactly." He caught her eyes. Nodding slowly, telling her it was exactly when she was assuming. "Yeah," he whispered, "You left me, Liv," he shrugged. "I just...made sure you'd always be with me, in a way." He kissed her again and mumbled something against her lips. A fear wrapped in a question.

"Never again," she promised, answering him. As they walked through the archway to see Elliot's artist, she smirked and dropped her gaze to his pelvis, envisioning his small blue, black, and grey butterfly, her initials creating the lacy veins in its wings.

"El, man!" A thin but muscular man stood up off of a bench and made his way over, holding out his right hand. "Back again?" he quipped, then looked at Olivia. "And you must be Olivia. He always talks about you the entire time whenever he's in my chair." He waved at her.

"Liv, baby, this is Ben Lawson," Elliot laughed, plopping into the leather chair to his left. "We were in the Corps together, he, uh...he's done every singlet tat I have, except this one." He slapped the impressionist Jesus on his arm. Then, with an even broader grin, he said, "And he's gonna give you your first one." He held out his left hand. "If you still want to get one."

She dropped into the seat beside his long chair and took his jacket from him before slipping her hand into his. "I do," she watched carefully as Ben flipped through a stack of drawings on his table. When he found the one meant for Elliot, he held it up, and she gasped.

"What ya wanted, right?" Ben asked, and when Elliot nodded emphatically, he whistled and moved to make the stencil for it.

Olivia, though, was still baffled. "El, you're not serious. Are you...you can't be…"

"I am," he affirmed, squeezing her fingers. "And it's going right here, front and center," he tapped two fingers against his left forearm. "Ya know, it's the same spot as my USMC Seal, just on the other arm, so what does that tell you?" he questioned with a lordly grin. He turned over his left arm and laid it on the cushioned rest. His head turned and in silence, they both watched Ben place the purple stencil. "Fuck, it's gonna be amazing, man," he said, taking in the line-drawn image of two interlocked police badges, his and Olivia's, trying to imagine what they'd look like in a few hours when Ben was done working his magic. He stiffened slightly, hearing the buzz of the machine, and then he looked at her again, his right hand still clutching hers tightly. "So you said you knew what you wanted?"

Nodding, she moved her chair closer, leaned over, and just before she kissed him, she whispered, "The same damn thing."

A/N: One more act of permanence...next?