Rin rose with the sun.

She didn't normally. Even though there were a good many responsibilities she had to take of for Kaede, there were a good many hours in the day as well. But today Rin was going to meet some friends; she wanted to make sure she got the housework finished early.

While Kaede continued to sleep, Rin folded her bedding, dressed, and tied her long hair just above the ends. She preferred to have it loose, but not when she was working.

The sun was not yet high enough in the sky to be seen, though its steady climb was evident as the tops of roofs were outlined with a soft yellow glow. Dampness hung in the air and Rin's breath came out as gray-white puffs when she stepped outside. She knew she would warm up while doing her chores, so she set off cheerfully from Kaede's home to the dirt path that led to the well.

Water was needed for drinking, washing, cooking, and a myriad of other necessities each day, which meant multiple trips to the well in the morning, and another in the evening, sometimes in the midday if it was particularly hot. Toting the water back and forth was Rin's least favorite task, so she always did this first. She handled the cumbersome bucket clumsily, never failing to slosh a decent amount of the water out onto the path. She didn't mind getting her feet wet so much as she did the fact that she was typically forced to make an extra trip as a result, if only to replenish what liquid she had inadvertently spilled. She tried her best not to waste the water, but her small frame inevitably made it difficult for her to gracefully handle a full bucket. It was strange, for though her body was hardy in that she was less inclined to fear the cold or even a lack of sleep, Rin was never able to put on as much muscle as the other young women her age—maybe a result of her irregular childhood, she thought. Nevertheless, even if she was slight, Rin would rather be the one to take on the burden of fetching water. She was young, after all, sixteen. Old Kaede stooped enough as it was.

Back at the house, Rin went around to the side to inspect the garden. She was proud of the life that flourished from her attention every year, and this summer was no different. There were cucumbers, carrots, lettuce, and eggplants all coming along nicely, thanks to her careful tending, including regular weeding and watering that she now saw to. The ripe vegetables went into a wicker basket, and then into the one of the buckets of water. Rin scrubbed the dirt of off each one until they were spotless and placed all but one on a clean woven mat to dry. They would be peeled, cut, and cooked in the coming days.

On the other side of the house was Kaede's horse, Hikari. The brown mare was slumbering, but her ears twitched at the sound of Rin's footsteps. "Hello," Rin cooed once she was close, running her hand over the horse's head and nose. "Are you thirsty?" She placed her final bucket of water in front of Hikari, who slurped at it eagerly. As the horse drank, Rin filled her trough with more hay and grass. Hikari nosed it and chewed up one mouthful before laying her large black eyes on Rin, who grinned. "Ah—what's this?" She brought her hand out from behind her to reveal a bright orange carrot to the animal. Hikari's tail swished impatiently. "You want this?" Rin asked, waving it back and forth. "You want this? Take it!" She held it out, and Hikari snapped it up without hesitation. Only after this treat did the horse seem satisfied to return to her standard feed and Rin left.

There was still the fire to be made. Inside the house in a corner by the entryway, Rin gathered up a small pile of kindling and a log and set them in the center hearth. When the kindling stubbornly refused to catch, she wondered if she needed more practice in this craft, or if her ability to coax a fire to life was hampered by the fact that her arms were already tired from bringing the water to the house and furiously washing the vegetables. But when the wood finally began to spark and smoke, Rin allowed herself a silent cry of triumph. The pot of tea she set to boil was her daily reward.

The fire's cracks and pops filled the room with a steady ambience and finally, Kaede stirred. "Ah—good morning, Kaede baa-chan!" Rin chirped.

The priestess took a long time to reply. "You are up already, Rin?"

"I'm going to the river with Emi and Hiroshi the afternoon," Rin reminded her. "I've tended to the garden and fed Hikari."

"Oh, that's right," Kaede remembered. She took the cup of tea Rin offered and sipped. "Well, I have to see some patients today. I may not be back until night."

"That's all right, I remembered," Rin said. "You know I can manage by myself."

She ate breakfast with Kaede and cooked a bento for the priestess's lunch and dinner. The old woman didn't each much, but Rin knew she was in the habit of giving most of it to her patients, so Rin always made a bit extra. After seeing Kaede off, Rin could change into an old kosode and meet her friends.

Although it had been cold that morning, the sun was beating down the village by the time Rin, Emi, and Hiroshi reached the stream. They had worked up a sweat in the trek there, and the glimmering water was even more enticing now that they had worked for it.

They had chosen a good day to come. The stream was almost blinding with how strongly it sparkled, reflecting the sun's strong rays. Emi had to pause as she took her sandals off and put them aside, but Rin, barefoot as always, held up the bottom of her kosode and waded into the stream with a sigh.

"Ah, that feels nice," she said happily. She wiggled her toes, enjoying the smooth flow of the water.

"Now, if only we had an onsen here too, we'd be set all year round," Hiroshi said. He too had stepped into the water, Emi a few feet behind him. He bent down and cupped his hands, splashing the water on his face and neck noisily. Emi flinched.

"Be careful!" she said. "You might be able to walk back to the village wet as a dog, but Rin and I can't."

"Yes, mother," Hiroshi said, affectionate mocking lacing his voice. "But I've seen you climb the trees behind your house before," he went on. "You can always get back that way if you don't want anyone to see you. Like a monkey."

"Certainly, if it means I can be spared your wit," Emi said easily. Her face had twitched for a moment, but now the mischievous smile she wore betrayed her amusement at Hiroshi's teasing.

Hiroshi laughed and moved on further into the center of the stream. There, it widened and deepened, but the water was safe, despite its swift current—it was shallow, not even reaching their waists. Rin and Emi waded back to shore, where they continued to cool their feet among the rushes while exchanging conversation. Hiroshi remained in the deeper water, scanning the surface.

"There're fish here!" he called. "Should I try to catch one?"

"Please do!" Rin shouted. "We could use a show!" She and Emi laughed.

Hiroshi bowed low and then flourished grandly with his arm. With deliberate slowness, he hunched over the water, hands held close to the surface and his fingers separated. Several moments passed, and it seemed as if he had frozen. Then he looked sideways at the girls. Even from the distance, they could see a smirk on his face. He struck like a bolt of lightning, lunging into the water fiercely. It rose up around him in white splashes until he emerged with a jerking silver fish. "I got it!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"Bring it over!" Emi said. "Let's see it."

Hiroshi obliged, watching the thrashing prize in his hands carefully as he splashed back toward Rin and Emi. "This would be enough for a whole meal," he boasted once he was within a few yards of the girls. "I know what, we'll grill it with yuzu and salt when we get home. Quite the catch, if I do say so my—" He broke off there and made a strange gagging sound, as if he was swallowing his words. His hands went limp around the struggling animal and it leapt from its prison back into the water. Rin caught sight of its shimmery body for a second before it swam away.

"Hiroshi!" Emi scolded. "Why'd you let it go? You were just going on about how we could have eaten it." But Hiroshi wasn't listening. He had stopped dead, holding his hands as if they still carried the escaped fish. His eyes were not on either of the girls, but behind them. Rin suddenly felt as if she herself had been ducked entirely into the river. A shiver ran through her. Had he come? She hadn't been expecting him, yet it had been a few months at this point—she should have been. Daring to believe, she turned around.

Before her was Sesshomaru.

"S-Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin exclaimed. She stood up quickly. "You're here! I didn't guess—" Horror flooded through her as she imagined what state she must have been in, red-faced and splashed with river water.

True to form, however, if Sesshomaru noticed, he did not say anything. His face was impassive as he surveyed the scene before him "You are displeased?" he asked.

"No!" Rin said. "Of course not! I just thought—you had only ever come to Kaede-baa-chan's house."

"I could tell you were here before I even came close to the house," Sesshomaru said. Rin knew by this that he meant he must have smelled her her scent.

"Of course," Rin said quickly. The shock of seeing Sesshomaru was wearing off, to be replaced by a strong self-consciousness that her friends were staring at her in awe at her being on speaking terms with a demon. "Er…" Rin racked her brain, trying to think if anyone she knew at the village, besides Kaede, knew of her exact history with Sesshomaru. Certainly they had never seen such a powerful demon in their midst before. "Sesshomaru-sama, these are my friends, Emi and Hiroshi. Emi, Hiroshi, this is Sesshomaru-sama. He was my…" My what? Rin had not pondered what this label might be to anyone else, but now she did not know what to call him. A friend? Protector? Neither of those accurately described him, not completely, anyway. "He brought me to the village when I was younger," she finally said, almost cringing. Rin sneaked a peek at him soon enough to catch him give her friends a barely passing glance—not so disdainful as he might have been towards humans many years ago, but she quickly dropped her own gaze. She did not want to look at Sesshomaru, even though she knew he would not react no matter what she said.

Her friends had been rendered seemingly mute, though. Embarrassment radiated within Rin as the tension settled thick between them. There was not anything Sesshomaru would have to make conversation with Emi and Hiroshi, Rin groaned internally, her mind racing to conjure up something to say to fill the empty air.

"You are indisposed at the moment," Sesshomaru said at last. "I can return at a later time."

"No!" Rin protested. "I mean, I do not wish to inconvenience you, either! I—" And then Rin remembered she was meant to spent the afternoon with her friends. She could not leave them so early, not when she had given them no notice. "I mean—I will be back at home in the evening as usual," she stammered foolishly.

Sesshomaru's head inclined fractionally; the gesture was so minute only Rin, who had had many months to study his habits and movements, caught it. Without another word he strode away, his long silver hair swaying gently with the breeze.

Behind Rin, her friends had managed to find their voices. "That—that was—a demon!" Hiroshi spluttered, sounding as waterlogged as though he were a carp himself. "Rin, how—why were you talking to him?"

She was not entirely composed yet but had to answer. "He brought me to the village when I was a child," she repeated.

"What—he found you and brought you here?"

"Well, I was the one who found him," Rin said, recalling the fond memory. "But, yes, I know him. I'm sorry I never told you before, but...it was a long time ago. I...I didn't think anyone needed to know."

"And you met him when you were a kid? Seems like he would have killed you first!" Hiroshi exclaimed.

"We've always been told those demons are dangerous, Rin," Emi said slowly and softly.

"Not him," Rin insisted. "I've known him a long time. He'd never hurt me. Or anyone I care about. So you don't need to worry about yourselves or the village."

Emi shuddered despite Rin's words. "My, how intimidating! I have never seen a demon so close before. That was something, wasn't it?"

Rin shrugged. She didn't feel like talking more about Sesshomaru with her friends, but now he was all they wanted to discuss. What was his name again? Sesshomaru-sama. What kind of demon was he? A dog demon. Did he ever fight? Yes. What powers did he have? Many. Was he married?

"No," Rin said. "I don't think he's ever been keen on that. Or anyone in that way." She thought of the wind sorceress, Kagura. Maybe…her? Well, there was nothing that could be done about that now.

"Wah, no?" Emi cried. "He might be terrifying, but he's at least attractive enough to have a wife, isn't he?"

Rin had never given it much consideration when she had been traveling with him, but now that she was older, she had to agree with Emi. It was more than his mere appearance, though. He was of course elegantly handsome, but beyond that, he exuded a raw power and aura that was magnetic. A presence, one that no one else had. Surely there were many out there who would find him irresistible. The trouble was, of course...

"I can't imagine Sesshomaru-sama ever having—well, a lover, I suppose," Rin said. Even speaking the word aloud felt awkward to her. "He's kind and good, but I never saw him having much interest in romance. He was always busy with something else."

"Those seemed like some nice katanas he had," Hiroshi sighed. "I could use one like his, mine's getting a bit worn. "

"That's because you never take care of your blade," Emi retorted. "I always have to do it for you."

"Not true," Hiroshi argued. "You just do it before I do."

Emi scoffed. "Some excuse, Hiroshi-san! You might be good with a sword but you're lousy at almost everything else!" She bent down and shoved a wave of water at him with the whole strength of her arm.

Watching them, Rin giggled. She was still feeling disoriented from Sesshomaru's sudden appearance. Eager to let herself forget him for a while, she joined Emi in drenching Hiroshi until they were all soaked.

Kaede was not home when Rin made it back, as she had anticipated. She took advantage of her solitude to take a quick bath. The afternoon by the river had left her feeling clean and refreshed already, but now that she knew Sesshomaru would be there soon, Rin wanted to make sure she presented herself as respectably as possible. She chose a new kimono—one he had previously gifted her—and ate a quick dinner of rice, cooked mushrooms, and seaweed.

After cleaning up, Rin filled the kettle and brought it to a boil. She sprinkled tea leaves into it and watched them uncurl and bloom in the heat for a moment before she capped the box of tea and went to put it back on its shelf.

As she stretched her arm to replace the tea, she felt a chill from outside the cabin. Sesshomaru was there, just inside the house. Rin jumped back, dropping the box. She let out a breath. "Sesshomaru-sama! Why do you keep sneaking up on me?" she complained crossly.

He scanned the room. "The old priestess is not here?" he asked.

"Yes—Kaede-baa-chan is seeing patients late today," Rin said. "She should be back tonight, though."

Sesshomaru's gaze settled on her. "You shouldn't leave the door open at night," he chided. Calling it a door was a bit generous, for it was merely a mat of woven straw and rushes that they rolled up to the top of the door frame on hot days. But Sesshomaru pointedly pulled the tie loose so the mat dropped to the ground with a slap.

Rin sighed and ducked her head. "Yes, I will remember next time," she promised.

Sesshomaru stepped up onto the main floor of the house and sat by the hearth. He did not speak, but watched Rin pour two cups of tea and give one to him. Nor did he drink it right away like Rin did, instead letting it cool on the floor next to him. Wisps of steam floated up from the surface of the tea and vanished into nothingness. Rin's body felt warm again, but she didn't think it had anything to do with the tea nor the fire.

Something had been gnawing at her. A kind of unsettling, the sense that her life had grown monotonous. The village was peaceful and friendly—as well as uneventful and quotidian. There was no excitement to be had besides the occasional birth or wedding, of which there had been none recently.

There was only when Sesshomaru came.

Just the sight of him filled her with the same warmth an embrace did, even if he never touched her. He was comfort, nostalgia, serenity, and safety all at once. A visit left Rin buoyed for days after, and then burning for his next once more. Every time Sesshomaru departed, Rin longed to see him more acutely than she did last, and she could never seem to forget him for more than even one or two days at a time, dealing her an ache that she felt almost constantly.

He occupied her thoughts, yes, but her heart most of all.

"Are you eating well?" Sesshomaru asked, interrupting her brooding.

At the question, Rin had to laugh. "Yes, as well I can be eating," she said. "I'm trying to cook more, so sometimes we go a bit hungry when I mess up. Poor Kaede-baa-chan!" But even as Rin finished, she was reminded that she had not yet completed her evening responsibilities.

"Who were your acquaintances from earlier?"

Rin blinked, surprised that Sesshomaru would inquire about her human friends. "I told you, Emi and Hiroshi," she said.

"You know what I mean, Rin." His tone was mild, but Rin flushed. He wanted to know who they were.

"I've known them since I came to the village. Or around that time," Rin supplied. "Emi's parents are farmers and Hiroshi and his father are carpenters. Both of their families are from here, so they grew up in the village too. "

"How did you come to meet them?"

"Kagome-sama introduced me to them since she thought it would be good for me to know some others my age," Rin said. "You needn't worry, Sesshomaru-sama; they are very good to me."

"Hm."

"They seemed impressed that I knew you," Rin went on, energized by his curiosity. "I've never seen Hiroshi so flustered like that. Besides the time he told me he was going to confess to Emi. Ah—you know, they're actually going to be married? As soon as they finish building the new house, they'll be able to have the wedding, but we've just had some weeks of rain so that put everyone back a bit..."

Rin shut her mouth. Sesshomaru might have asked about Emi and Hiroshi, but she felt like she was pushing her luck now by discussing their future marital life. Seizing her moment to relieve her discomfort, Rin set her tea down and rose up slightly from where she had been sitting on her heels. "Sessomaru-sama, do you mind if I do some of my chores? I had forgotten about them until I talked about Kaede-baa-chan."

Sesshomaru tilted his head away, indicating he did not. Gratefully, Rin got to her feet. Many of her evening tasks were similar to those she carried out in the morning. Hikari was off with wherever Kaede was, but Rin had did have to make a final trek to the well (only one bucket, thankfully, to last the evening). On nights when Kaede was gone, Rin also prepared a tray with some of the leftover meal and put it by the hearth so Kaede could eat a bit when she came back. She knew even if Kaede did end up eating some of the bento, a long journey on horseback was never not draining.

Rin was glad for the busywork that night. She was worn out from her afternoon in the sun, but sitting quietly by Sesshomaru put her on edge. The silence was as suffocating as a hot day without a breeze. The need to speak filled Rin near to bursting, but she had no inkling of what to say. Each notion that came to her was more nonsensical than the last and lasted only a fleeting second before it was replaced by another one.

"It's very late, isn't it?" she said lamely once she had put away the last dish she had cleaned and there was nothing left for her to do. "And the moon is very bright. It's like a big bowl of milk."

Sesshomaru did not answer directly, but the corners of his mouth twitched momentarily. Rin was an adult now, but shades of her childish side were all too apparent. "Are you alone often?"

"No," Rin said truthfully. "Only every once in a while. Anyway, there's nothing to worry about," she added. "The village is very safe. And you know I've spent lots of time by myself, Sesshomaru-sama."

He seemed amused by her response; the gold of his eyes brightened a little. Rin walked to the other side of the room and sat against the wall opposite where Sesshomaru rested, not wanting to get too close. When she was a child, she wouldn't have hesitated if she wanted. Now as an adult, however, Rin deemed it was more respectful to allow him his space.

Or was it that she was afraid to get to any nearer to him?

She wasn't scared of Sesshomaru.

But he was overwhelming her right now.

An uninhibited pull stirred inside her, driving her to distraction so she couldn't concentrate on anything but him. She was familiar with the sensation, for she had felt it increasingly often over the past months. With him so close, though, it was all but unbearable.

Her stomach squirmed.

"Shall I tell you what has been happening in the village?" Rin proposed to divert herself.

"Do as you like."

"Well...where to start. I mentioned that it rained a lot recently. All of the fields got flooded, so they're a bit worried now how the harvest this year will be. Of course, the rice paddies are supposed to be flooded, but maybe those can have too much water too? I'm not actually sure. But for here, Kaede-baa-chan and I had to make a little roof for our garden so we could save all of our vegetables. You know how we made it? It was harder than you might think, since we didn't have any fabric big enough. We had to take little pieces from our scrap basket and sew them all together until it could cover the whole plot. And then we were thinking, how could we make it so it just doesn't sink into the middle? So I had the idea that if we put it up at an angle, all the water would run down it like a real roof, so that's what we ended up doing. That was fine for a while, but once we finished, there was nothing to do and it was so boring! Especially when it's supposed to be summer. If it rains in the winter, it doesn't matter as much, right? In the first place, it might just become snow, and then we could play in it. Nothing grows in the cold, either, so no one's plants get killed. And everyone is already inside. Oh, but I'm supposed to be telling you about the village, aren't I?" Rin finally stopped for a breath.

"Do as you like."

Which, if Rin was honest, was not exactly mundane happenings of the village. "Oh. Well, in that case, forget about me! I want to know what you've been doing, Sesshomaru-sama. How is Jaken-sama? And Ah-Un?"

"He is much the same. Ah-Un is as well."

"Ah, I miss them," Rin sighed. "Ah-Un mostly. Well, Jaken too. There isn't anyone for me to tease here." She watched Sesshomaru for his reaction: a slight gleam in his eyes again, but no words, to Rin's frustration.

Sesshomaru seemed content to let there be no talk. What is the point of visiting if you have so little to say? Rin fumed. Maybe just to see her and confirm she was alive—but then he could have done that by the river earlier that day and gone on his business.

"Anyway, Kaede-baa-chan will be back soon," Rin said. She had hoped he might take her declaration as a cue to leave, but he did not. Instead, it only whipped up a dismay that itself perplexed her. Normally she spent most of the year awaiting when Sesshomaru came, but now that he was here, she only wanted him to be gone. She had never once, in her memory, attempted to prematurely end the time she had with him. Yet what else could she do?

She could barely look at him without her chest tightening, her breath catching.

Rin did not think she would ever be able to curse Sesshomaru, but she certainly did want to in that moment for his infuriating reticence. Was he oblivious? Across from him, Rin slowly simmered, and he rested serenely. Kaede-baa-chan, where are you? she thought desperately.

The seconds and minutes passed by agonizingly. Rin resorted to fetching a page of paper, brush, and ink to practice her calligraphy. She settled on her heels, tapping the brush's end to her chin before dipping the hairs into the ink and beginning. She had initially decided just to ink a single word, but then realized it might be more in her interest to focus on copying some of the poetry she remembered that night—at least this would take longer.

Rin lay her brush on the inkstone and sat back to examine her product. It was shining brightly in the firelight and she was not satisfied with her work. Her hand had been shaking, creating jagged strokes and uneven lines, all evidence of her stunted writing experience. If there was one thing Rin was self-conscious about, it was her mind. Kaede and Kagome tutored her regularly, and any schooling she received at all was more than she could have ever hoped for when she had been living in her old village. She was truly grateful for what education she was able to receive now. But it didn't change the fact that she judged her writing to be sloppy, her reading slow, and her vocabulary subpar.

While Rin dwelled on this, she raised her eyes tentatively to the demon sitting peacefully before her. What can I say to him that he would find interesting...? She was past the age where he could humor her for long periods of time and she longed to show him that she had grown up.

"What did you write?"

Rin jumped and looked up, flustered. "A poem Kaede-baa-chan taught me."

"Read it."

Read it? Rin thought with some alarm. She hadn't expected him to ask this of her and had carelessly chosen one that she worried now might be too revealing. Yet it was an innocent request she could not deny. Clearing her throat, Rin began haltingly:

"In autumn the bush clover

is scattered by the long rains

Falling; a time when

I wake alone

From many nights of yearning."

A pregnant pause. Rin held her breath, waiting.

"You recite well," he said.

Rin's mouth fell open a little in astonishment. Sesshomaru did not proffer such direct compliments so freely. "Do I?" She bowed deeply. "Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama!"

"Why did you choose that poem?"

"Why...?" She could not very well say it was how she felt; she would have to play it off. "Oh I see, it's a bit early for writing poems about the autumn, isn't it?" Rin laughed nervously. "Considering how hot it still is..."

Some time passed. He was too smart to be led by her evasiveness. "Then do you yearn for something, Rin?" Sesshomaru said.

Rin stared at him, dumbfounded. How could she respond to such a question? Of course she did. It beckoned her whole body and self, torturing her on a daily basis...

"Everyone does, don't they?" she said instead.

What do you yearn for, Sesshomaru-sama? What she wouldn't have given to know his answer.

He was tactful enough to respect her second sidestep and did not press her any further. Rin was deflated now; the glow from his praise had dissipated and been replaced with the intense feeling that she had blundered into awkwardness. She set her work and tools to the corner and found her spot before the fire to lament the uncomfortable silence anew. The snap of the hearth was not enough to do away with it; on the contrary, it only seemed to amplify it. Rin could think of only one escape.

"Um, Sesshomaru-sama?" He turned to her. "I might sleep now."

He continued to observe her, and Rin felt pinned by his eyes. "Do as you like," he said yet again, his voice betraying no feeling. It was not a new arrangement for them, after all, Rin thought as she rolled her futon out. Though she could not recall when she had last slept in his company since growing up. Suddenly shy, she hesitated as she touched the obi tying her kimono together. The entire ensemble was far too fine to sleep in. The idea of divesting herself of it now, however—

Rin cleared her throat. "I'm going to change into my yukata," she announced loudly, feeling extremely foolish. Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows, but seemed to understand what she was implying; he made no comment as he made to face the wall. Rin frowned at the back of his head for several seconds before twisting so her back was to him and untying her obi with as much noise and speed as she could muster.

It was not meant to be an embarrassing motion, Rin told herself, as her fingers worked deftly through the knots; she was wearing her juban underneath, after all. Even so, the act seemed far too intimate to even attempt in the presence of someone of such stature as Sesshomaru. She let the kimono fall to the ground unceremoniously, thinking a quick apology for her treatment of it, but she had to prioritize swiftness over tidiness at the moment. Only after she had retied her sash did Rin smooth the kimono out and fold it carefully. Then she went to her futon and lay down, directly across from Sesshomaru on the other side of the fire.

"Um, it's all right now."

However, rather than facing the fire as before, Sesshomaru instead positioned himself at an angle, so both Rin and the door were within his line of vision. She knew the reason immediately: to keep watch while she slept.

She closed her eyes and sighed. No semblance of relaxation came to her, even with the knowledge that she was safer tonight than she had been for a long time. She was painfully aware of him, though her eyes were shut. Rin opened one of them tentatively against her pillow. Through her distorted vision, she could see that he stared ahead of him calmly and she ventured to afford herself a proper view of his profile.

He was beauty incarnate, Rin decided. Threads of silver cascaded down his back, pooling on the wooden floor. The cut of his jaw was as sharp as the patterns on his face, a face which seemed to be perennially fair, never sporting a blemish or scar despite the amount of battle he saw. His eyes were molten gold, penetrating and unreadable nearly all the time. Even his hands and fingers were elegantly formed, accentuated by the purple markings on his wrist.

As she studied him, his amber gaze slid in her direction and met hers. Rin caught her breath—she was less flustered to have been caught watching him than she was struck by the heat that suddenly inflamed her. But did he feel the same? He did not break the connection...His eyes were even more beautiful in the firelight, Rin mused absently. They were just a few shades darker than the flames they now reflected, the flickering motion of which created a golden well of depth not usually present. Then Sesshomaru blinked, and the well disappeared. It was only for a second but it was enough to jolt Rin back to her senses. Before she did something she would regret, Rin rolled to her other side to the wall.

Had he always appeared this way? She had grown so much in the last half-decade, but five years was a blink of an eye to a demon. It probably took them at least a hundred years to age even a marginal amount. When she had been a child, Rin remembered being fascinated by Sesshomaru's mien and finding him interesting to look at. Not many demons had ever passed by her village. But she could not recall ever thinking him quite so exquisite...

Her heart was tightening. Memories flashed before her, clear as day, but more than that she felt. The heady intoxication that seemed to infuse her whenever she was around him, the rapid beating of her heart when he said her name, the thrill of pleasure when he rested his quiet eyes on her and let her know that he was listening to whatever she had to say.

The crushing anguish of when he departed.

He had asked her what she wanted and she hadn't told him. But she knew what she wanted.

It wasn't that she even wanted him to stay. No.

Rin wanted him.

She wanted all of him. Everything there was in his soul, mind, and spirit. She acknowledged that she had a little bit of it, and even this much was more than Sesshomaru would ever deign to share with anyone else. Yet it wasn't enough, not now. She wanted more.

It was unlike her to be greedy. But there was a word for that, wasn't there—?

Rin's eyes burst open and she could not help but vault upward, holding the blanket to her chest, so astounded she was by her own thinking. Almost simultaneously, Rin glanced to the side saw Sesshomaru was now facing her, slightly tensed and his hand half-raised like he was about to draw his sword.

"It's nothing, I'm all right," she reassured. Sesshomaru nodded curtly, but he did not relax until Rin had laid down once more.

She curled her legs up to her chest. The warmth in her body had not faded yet; rather it had settled into a stewing fever in her chest that she knew must be the seeds of something that seemed far beyond her reach.

Love filled Rin with dread.

What was she doing? It was an impossible future. Sesshomaru cared for her in his own way, but what was the path forward? She would be tortured the rest of her life wishing for someone she'd never be able to have. Every time she saw him, it would just be a mockery of her from then on.

When had the admiration she had nursed as a child matured? Distance and time must have made the heart fonder, Rin concluded. For years, she had spent her days hoping that one would be the one when Sesshomaru would come. And when he did, she was happier that day than any other, until his next visit. She learned to treasure each one as a rarity, however brief it was.

Was it foolish to even entertain the thought of Sesshomaru in that manner? Rin had to think it was. He'd never shown the slightest inclination of romance when she had traveled with him. In a way he had seemed beyond it. Concerned with bigger things than emotions, exactly what she had told her friends earlier that day.

But even as doubt flooded her, Rin knew better. He wasn't heartless, no matter what others tried to say. If he was, she wouldn't have been alive now, wrestling with herself in this manner. Wasn't that proof enough? Of who he was?

Of what she meant to him?

And that question alone ate at her until she fell into a restless sleep.

Rin wrinkled her nose, disturbed by something. She clutched the blanket to her closer, and shut her eyes tighter, then opened them to stare at the wall. She rolled over and saw Kaede stirring her pot slowly, the broth inside bubbling away.

"Kaede-baa-chan," Rin said slowly, pushing herself up. "You're back…you were gone so long last night."

"I'm sorry," Kaede said. "I would have warned you if I knew it would go for so late."

Rin shook her head. "It wasn't a problem." Then she noticed the end of her futon, where a paper package was resting at her feet. She crawled over the blanket to touch it. Kaede watched her from the rim of the pot.

"Sesshomaru left that there," Kaede said. "He was still here when I came back."

"Oh...Did he say anything before going?" Rin asked.

"Just took off."

That wasn't surprising. Rin untied the string and folded back the paper to reveal—as she expected—a beautiful kimono of royal blue and gray. "He could have given it to me before I slept," she said. "He never wants to be thanked." Though she could not be annoyed for long as she admired the beautifully-constructed garment. It was befitting the lady of a great household, not a village girl who struggled how to read sometimes even now.

Rin sighed. Sesshomaru was too generous but he'd never be able to give her what she truly wanted. Last night had shown her that plainly.

It was only a matter of time before the truth would come forth. She knew what it was, and she was terrified for when it would.

fin

A/N: I kept changing and editing this so many times, I just had to let it go into the wild.

I like to envision Rin being very confident and spirited as an adult, but here I wanted to portray her emotional confusion and how that was translating to self-doubt, nervousness, and even unreasonableness, such as how she's frustrated with Sesshomaru for not talking much—even though that would be completely in his character and she would know that. So if she came across as not herself, that was the point in a way, since she's not meant to be feeling normally.

The poem that Rin copies is a from the Man'yoshu (万葉集), the oldest surviving collection of Classical Japanese poetry, dating from some time after 759.