LITTLE MOTHER

Growing Up With Companions

Chapter 9: A New Brother

Tessal was hunting for any meat to bring to the table. There were too many of them for this forest. They'd nearly eaten the whole of the animal life in it that could feed them.

The winter had been very cold. The wagon from the village had already come again a second time, but what had been in it had been slim. Between starvation and freezing, the villagers had finally been willing to sacrifice a little more of what they had to fix the one thing that could be. Food couldn't be grown in the winter, but wood could still be cut and burned.

It was sad that the village had been made to pay that price along with them. Tessal was often angry at how evil the soldiers of the king were. They hadn't had to do that, hadn't even been influenced by demons by then. It had been their own choice to be that way.

All of the shinobi now went their own ways in the woods, hunting for any animal that was willing to poke out a nose to sniff the brittle air. More than once Korin had returned to the main house with a small handful of winter fruits. More than once Tessal had wished Blake was still present to show up with a small plate of biscuits at the table.

She knew Korin was hiding his skill. It was an odd one that he'd been able to use with just the three of them. She'd tried to convince him that because Blake had been able to learn it, perhaps it was one all of the boys could learn. Korin had refused. "It's too great a power if we can all turn anything into food."

"Even if it saves us, and maybe even the villagers, too?!" She'd stomped her foot at him, her hands on her hips, but he'd shaken his head and pursed his lips.

When she'd finally gone to tears, he'd relented enough to put his hand on her head. "I can't, Tessal," he said softly. "I'm prevented. I'm allowed to make it look like I found a small amount, what might be able to be found in the woods like this, but I'm not able to tell anyone else. I don't like seeing everyone hungry, and fighting because of it either."

The pain on his face convicted her. She knew it, that Korin was that way. "I'm sorry," she'd looked down and scuffed the hard earth with her boots that had been given to her by Randi when he'd outgrown them, although he'd had to take Boab's old ones. DongTang had handed his boots over to Boab, then walked barefoot to the main house and stood there until Obäsan had seen him that way.

She'd walked back into the house, then returned with what were probably Shikun's oldest pair. At least they'd all hoped Shikun still had boots until he'd shown up in some and not commented at the ones DongTang was wearing.

Even the winter birds had become fair game, now. They gave almost less meat than the squirrels had, but it was still something to help them get to the next day, even if it was watery broth with perhaps a few small scraps of meat. Several of the smaller boys had gotten very good at learning where to dig at the roots of trees to find a nest of hibernating mice. That was a hard thing to swallow, but they didn't think hard about it, considered it all bird, and ate it.

A movement in the undergrowth caught Tessal's eyes and she watched that place closely, not putting full attention there. The animals in the woods knew when they were being hunted and ran if one did that. The motion happened again, a brief flash of a reddish color in the air close to the ground, then gone again.

Tessal walked from the shadow of the tree trunk she was standing in to one closer to the creature, then again until she could see it better, almost holding her breath, and hiding her presence as much as possible, like she hid from her brothers during practice.

The small creature jumped up into the air again, pouncing on something it was hunting. Kishi-Mujin, hiding with Tessal, was suddenly more interested, although Tessal immediately made her be still and quiet. She focused to see better, interested because of Kishi-Mujin's interest.

The creature's head finally came up from where it had been digging at the hard ground, ears flicking to hear the things around it, a mole dangling from its mouth. That mole was very quickly eaten and the creature looked around again.

Tessal's breath caught. It was a fox just like the one she'd seen before, but this one was very small, as if a kit not an adult nor even a young fox. The white head and white ears turned and turned, as if the fox were looking for another mole to eat, or as if checking to see if something else had spotted it - like her.

Will you go play with it? Tessal asked Kishi-Mujin silently.

Kishi-Mujin instantly was very keenly interested. She slipped away and appeared in front of the fox, that backed up a little, as if startled. Kishi-Mujin danced in the air in front of it until it reached up a paw to bat at her. Kishi-Mujin slipped up higher, until she managed to get the fox kit to jump up in the air with her.

Tessal smiled to see them cavorting. She was hungry, but she knew that to bring home a fox to eat would make more trouble than leaving it alone. She was quite sure that in this woods it would be better to die of starvation than eat a fox.

Suddenly both small creatures stopped playing and turned, the ears on the fox pointing the direction they were looking. Tessal looked that way and recognized that they were looking towards the entrance to the woods. That might not be good.

She immediately began flying that way from tree to tree. Behind her she could hear the fox coming along. Likely it was still chasing Kishi-Mujin, who wouldn't let Tessal go far away from her. There was a very distinctive sound. That of a miserable baby, who was very, very cold. She moved faster until she was right at the edge of the woods.

Tessal stared out in miserable disbelief. There was the wagon, yet again, but this time she could see into it. It had been left very close to the wood this time. It was empty save for a basket that wiggled and moved as the infant in it whimpered.

How could the villagers have thought to gift them a child? They couldn't eat that, even if they'd been foxtails. Was the mother dead of the cold and no one else could care for it? They knew orphans lived here so had brought another? How would they feed it? There were no suckling mothers here, and no cows or goats to give it milk.

The boys barely had the strength to find what little scraps of food there was. Were they to give what little firewood they had for themselves to the village, only for all of them to die in the end? Tears dripped down Tessal's face at the desperate hollowness that filled her.

Kishi-Mujin passed Tessal and went to the wagon alone this time. She hadn't liked that Tessal had been scolded, either, the first time. The small fox went out after Kishi-Mujin and both jumped into the wagon. Tessal protested, then, not wanting the fox to think that the infant was food. Instead, the fox sniffed the infant, then climbed up with it and curled up with it. Did it know? Was it trying to warm the infant up?

Kishi-Mujin was suddenly flying for Tessal and tugging on her. "I can't go out," Tessal said, resisting her, not wanting to have to make this decision. Kishi-Mujin was insistent, wrapping around her as a shield again like the first time and pushing on her to go.

Finally the very cold wails pushed through Tessal's heart and she walked to be in the wagon. The fox didn't move, only blinked at her. Tessal cautiously reached down and picked up the basket, it filling both arms very full, and walked back to stand on the far side of a large tree. She listened carefully to hear anything from outside the wood. The fox listened with her.

Stubbornly, Tessal looked the fox in the face. "If I'm going to be scolded for doing this, too, then this time you have to come back with me and both of you have to protect me." Both Kishi-Mujin and the fox gave her the look and feel of, us tiny two, protect you from large many them? Tessal slumped. "Well, at least protect me from Obäsan who can maybe protect me from them." That got better acceptance.

The infant was blue-lipped and shivering very badly. She frowned in worry, then was walking very quickly back through the spaces she could walk to get the infant home faster.

When the fox started whining, Tessal put the basket down and opened up her shirt. She picked up the infant and took it out of the two thin blankets it was wrapped up in. The infant went inside her shirt against her body, then she did her shirt back up and wrapped the two blankets around them both. That helped hold the infant to her and kept her own warmth closer to both of them.

Tessal picked up the small fox and put it on her shoulder, told it to stay there, then held onto the infant with one hand, the basket with the other, and dragged it with her as she finished walking to the house. By the time she arrived there, the infant was back to shivering again from being very still, but it wasn't crying, so the boys in the area didn't know she had it with her.

"Obäsan!" she called as soon as she was inside the house. She went directly for the kitchen. Obäsan was usually there, keeping the small coals of the kitchen fire going to stay warm and alive so they could cook in the evening, if food was found.

The old woman turned to see as Tessal entered the kitchen, leaving the basket just outside the entrance to the little hall that went past her bedroom. Obäsan was on her knees by the cooking fire as usual. "Obäsan, the villagers left another wagon," her voice was pained even in her ears. "They didn't have food to leave this time." Her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears, wishing it had been she was so hungry.

Obäsan's eyes went to the strange blankets and Tessal's arms wrapped around the thing she was holding in her shirt. Obäsan's hands reached out to pull Tessal close to the fire and set her down in her lap. Looking over Tessal's shoulder, Obäsan pulled the blankets and Tessal's shirt open until she was looking down on the slightly fuzzy head of the infant that had been left behind to freeze and starve with them. Tessal wept.

Obäsan put the shirt and blanket back, then turned Tessal until the infant was between them both, where perhaps both of their warmth would keep it alive a little bit longer, although even that might be a disservice. It might be better to let it finish the final steps of freezing.

"What do you want to do, Tessal?" Obäsan asked quietly. "You will have to be responsible if you want to keep it. They will be angry."

"I know, Obäsan," she cried. "I know we can't feed it. There are no mothers here and no milk. Why did they do it? Why did they abandon it here? Do they think we're foxtails that will eat it? Or do they hope that orphans will have pity on another one?"

Obäsan's hand brushed comfortingly over Tessal's face and head. "I don't know, Tessal. We could find out in the spring if we survive that long. It wasn't really kindness on their part, but it was very likely desperation." Tessal nodded, knowing that much.

She closed her eyes, feeling Obäsan's warmth and kind arms around her. She floated, wondering what she did want, what should happen next. She remembered when Korin and Blake had found her and not let her go, but had made her come with them. She'd been very glad to be brought here, even if they were starving now. She missed Blake very much. He had protected her, even if he'd been rough in his speech to her.

"Do you think...," she asked softly, "...that if he survived he would be able to replace Blake in the hearts of Korin and Shikun that miss him? There was supposed to be him here with us, too." She pondered that sleepily. "If he could live and become the one that we still miss...," she faded out to fall asleep, her own weak and hungry body having had too much walking magically to get to this place and warmth.

-:-:-:-:-

Tessal woke up to excited voices calling for Obäsan. Obäsan was still holding her in front of the weak fire that she'd still been feeding. Tessal struggled to rise to her feet while still holding the infant. It was kind of big for her to be holding for this long. Obäsan helped Tessal stand, then rose to her own feet.

They carefully slid the wall panel open only just enough to pass through to the outside, trying to keep as much heat in that room as possible. "Come see what we found!" boys cried out, waving them to step out farther, as others pulled on lead ropes. "It's a cow with two calves, lost and wandering in the woods!"

"We lost one of the calves to freezing before we could free them from where they were caught," Abedúl's calm, yet sorrowful voice said. "But it can be eaten and the others kept alive for now. Making that meat last and drinking the milk might hold us until the spring thaw."

Tessal shuddered and wondered. Obäsan looked down at her. She gulped, then took a deep breath. It looked like all the boys had come at the noise, and the adults, too.

"Does anyone know how to take care of a nursing cow, all you city boys?" Obäsan asked a bit scathingly. That calmed them all down. "My hands are too old for milking. Who will do it?"

They looked at each other, none of them really knowing. Tessal took another breath and stepped forward. "I'll learn it," she said firmly.

Sensei bowed his head. "I can teach it," he said. Tessal was instantly grateful. It would likely be a lot of work, actually, given he hadn't immediately offered before one of the students had offered. She bowed her head to him, then took another breath.

"Before then," she said, getting the attention of everyone before they could begin to celebrate again. She got eyes again, then narrowed ones as the boys noticed what was different. She gulped again, but stood firm. "I found a tiny fox that looked like the one I saw the first time a wagon was brought." Boys looked at her shirt in disbelief. She shook her head. "While Kishi-Mujin and the tiny fox were playing, they heard a noise and took me to the entrance to the woods again."

Her face fell. "There was another wagon there." Boys sighed. "It was empty save for one thing, a thing we can't eat, and until you brought this cow, we couldn't feed or keep alive, either."

Tessal reached up and pulled down the blankets and then pulled back her shirt. The little infant wasn't blue any more and bright eyes looked up into hers. For just one moment it felt like she was looking into the eyes of someone she knew. She smiled slightly, then the infant shuddered as the cold air was on the back of its head and it whimpered.

"No!" cried more than one voice.

Tessal nodded, and closed up her shirt again so the infant wasn't afraid of freezing again. "Yes," she said almost bitterly. "They left us another mouth to feed, another child to freeze."

Her face was set when she looked up at her brothers again. "Still, we are already one short. It isn't like we wouldn't have had the one more mouth if he'd lived. If we've been blessed with the milk he needs to keep living, then I wish to let him live. I'll learn to take care of the cow and calf while I learn to take care of the baby."

There was a lot of noise and arguments then. Shikun came up on the porch and stood with the two females, facing them. His eyes searched Obäsan's first, then turned to Tessal. He reached over to uncover the baby again and looked in at the bright eyes that looked back. His finger ran over the top of the fuzzy head and then down the side of it's head. "Is it a boy?" he asked.

"I don't know, Shikun," Tessal answered honestly. "It was nearly frozen when I found it. I've been keeping it here this way until now to keep it alive. Obäsan let me stay with her, and helped me keep it warm this long. Until I can unwrap it where it's warm enough, I don't know."

Shikun's hands were suddenly very warm. They slipped in to grasp the infant and pull it gently out of Tessal's arms and shirt. Her front was suddenly much colder. She pulled the shirt and blankets to her closely and watched in concern.

Shikun's one hand was big enough to hold most of the baby. His other hand was practiced as he unwrapped the infant just enough to confirm. Shikun let out a breath and wrapped the infant back up. "It is," he said to Obäsan who hadn't seen very well from where she was.

It took a bit of effort but between Shikun and Tessal they got the baby wrapped back up in her shirt. Shikun wrapped the blankets so they tucked under the seat of the infant and held him to her better so her hands could be free if she needed them. When that was done, Shikun looked into Obäsan's eyes. "Is this my miracle and hers, already come to pass?"

Obäsan's eyes went to the cow and the noise behind Shikun. "When asked what she wanted, she said that if this one could replace the one that left a hole in your heart and the heart of Korin, then she would wish for that."

Shikun turned slightly to see the cow and calf, a miracle of being able to live in this place of starving children and adults. He closed his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered. Tessal thought he might be trying to not cry, actually. She didn't look at him while he got himself back under control.

When he did, he turned to face the unhappy boys. "Korin, Claus, and Josey. Come and tell me if this is one of ours." The boys went quiet. One by one, those called came up and looked at the infant as Tessal exposed him again for each one. Those solemn bright eyes looked up into each of the pairs of eyes that looked at him.

Claus went first, used to finding his brothers. The little face scrunched up at him, but he quietly watched anyway, until he finally gave a nod. "He could be," he said and moved out of the way.

Josey was next. He looked at the child for a long time, then took a breath. "He has sailed on the ocean," he said, "and flown in the sky." Then he was blinking at everyone. They told him what he'd said. He frowned, but moved out of the way.

Korin went last, looking into Tessal's eyes first. She looked back at him trustingly. "There is only one missing," she said to him quietly, "and to you he was brother first."

Korin swallowed. With a trembling hand he reached out to move the blanket a little more so he could see better. A hand wiggled free of being between Tessal and the infant and grasped at Korin's finger. Korin melted, including his eyes that dripped. He couldn't say anything, but he didn't need to. That was enough for Tessal. This was Blake, reborn and returned to them again.

"He will stay and you will keep your promise, Tessal," Shikun said firmly. "See he stays alive with the rest of us. We will need the Spiritualist to win in the end." That shut the mouths of the final spluttering boys.

"Gregor, take the cow and living calf to the donkey shed and get them settled. Tessal go with him and watch what he does. He'll help you take care of them until you're strong enough to do it on your own.

"Sensei, go with them and check on their health, showing Tessal and Gregor both what you know. Tessal herself is also nearly to dying. See she and the infant are fed milk as soon as you can teach her how it is done."

Tessal blinked at him. "Me, too? I'm almost dead? Why?"

"Because you've already been feeding your own health to him to make him live," Shikun scowled at her. "Stop that and let him get his life the way he's supposed to."

Tessal's mouth hung open. "I-I didn't! I didn't know how!" Shikun turned away from her and took Obäsan back into the kitchen. Korin took Tessal's arm and helped her down from the porch to follow after Gregor and the cow and calf, with Sensei falling in with them. The others waited until the cow was in the small animal shed before beginning to butcher the dead calf.

Tessal paid close attention to her lessons, then drank her milk quickly. She walked next to Sensei, who carried the two buckets of milk back to the kitchen to keep it from freezing.

When they were settled in the kitchen, Tessal carefully scooped up a little teacup of milk and held it to the baby's mouth. It took them both some practice, but eventually they got it and the baby finally had as full and warm a stomach as Tessal did.

Korin stayed with her, watching and learning the whole time as well. Sensei smiled behind Korin's back and made him also drink a cup of milk. Korin barely paid attention to it. When the baby was full, Korin tentatively held out his hands. "May I hold him?" he asked.

Tessal handed him over, wrapping him in his two thin blankets first. Korin held him until he fussed, then he rocked him until he burped two rather loud unbaby-like burps that made the two of them laugh. Then the baby settled down, his eyes closing.

"What are we going to call him?" Korin asked. "Even if he is Blake reborn, I don't think we should call him that. It might remind him of being a slave. This time he'll be free and one of us from the beginning."

"Reii," Tessal answered. "He is our miracle."

Korin gave a nod, accepting the name and the reason. He jumped a little and held the infant out from him, but a warm wet spot was already on his shirt. He blushed.

There was a chuckle from above them and hands came down to take the infant. "Come, I'll teach you both how to change them when they're wet. Obäsan can teach you when he soils himself." Obäsan snorted at Shikun as he took the infant and the two children to a cloth laid out near the cooking fire.

Reii fussed at having to be cold, but it was rather necessary. Both thin blankets and the wrap he'd been in were now very wet. "I'm sure I'll miss Pampers," Obäsan muttered. "Washing cloth diapers is so difficult. Tessal will have to be very strong. I won't do it more than the once to teach her."

Scolding eyes came on Tessal, but she didn't care. She would learn it, too. "It's only for a few years," she answered dismissively.

Obäsan and Shikun both laughed at her. "At your age, that's an eternity: a whole third of your current age."

Tessal blinked, then went sheepish. They were right. That was going to be a long time. Still, she was glad to have her last brother with her again, so they could all be family together, and so Korin and Shikun could both be happy again. She smiled as she watched Shikun's practiced hands and his tender look to have his beloved son with him again, even if he was only an infant.

-:-:-:-:-

Shikun sent Sensei out with a small party when the spring thaws came and the ground was plowable. Tessal was surprised it was all boys in the range of the ages that would be conscripted.

"Why did Shikun send Abeh, Tanov, Josey, Luka, Boab and Shokun, Obäsan?" Tessal asked as they worked the small garden Obäsan had decided to plant this spring.

Obäsan answered as she moved down the row, plucking up the small weeds she faithfully removed every morning to keep the bed free of them. "Cahyo's finally strong enough for his illusions to stick until he takes them off. He's been working hard."

"Okay, but why them?" Tessal wanted to know. She was letting Reii lie down on a blanket. He needed to learn to move his limbs after all. At the moment he was trying to catch his feet with his hands, since his knees had brought them into range and sight.

Tessal thought it was funny that even that had to be learned - how to make a hand touch a foot. She rubbed her finger on the bottom of one of the feet and it kicked out. His hand reached for her finger instead. She let him have it and waved his arm around until he let go of her finger. Reii went back to trying to catch his foot.

Tessal looked back at Obäsan, wondering if she was going to answer. Obäsan was walking around the end of the garden bed to join them on the blanket. She sat down with a sigh then looked up at the blue sky filled with mostly-empty branches. Some of the smaller trees were beginning to get flower or leaf buds, but none of those were here by the houses and buildings. Just the tall trees.

"We need to know things. How many of them really starved and froze? How many men of strength remain in the village? Have the soldiers continued to stay in or near the village to torment them? Will they then come torment us? ...Many things like that," Obäsan seemed to be more wandering in her mind than really answering the question.

"We need to renegotiate the contract, too. To send what looks like a delegation of adults who can fight but are peacefully concerned shows them we still have strength. That we also have survived." She looked down at Reii and let him have one of her fingers to swing around as his arm tried to understand what it was doing.

"That might be good or bad as far as the soldiers of the king are concerned, but it's necessary when it comes to the village. They're likely still afraid of us and the wood. They'll need to know we still have the strength to keep the wood tamed."

"Was it so bad, before?" Tessal asked.

Obäsan smiled. "No. But there were a few monsters that would spawn, surprising them and they couldn't fight them. We took care of them before Shikun went to bring the boys here. They won't be coming back as long as we live here."

Obäsan laughed. "We would have eaten them this winter if they'd still been here." Tessal laughed with Obäsan. She was sure they would have, too. They'd been hungry enough to eat the mice, after all. Monsters would have had more on them and made fuller bellies.

They had eaten the meat of monsters, the few times in the very late winter and very early spring the adults had finally declared the boys ready to leave the wood for short periods of time, fully protected and invisible the whole time. They'd been able to catch a lot of briar weasels then and even a few boars that had fed them well, but been very bland without vegetables.

This was the first time for them to leave the wood with the protections from demons finding them, but not the invisibility. "Will the soldiers want to conscript them anyway, even if they look like foxtails?" Tessal went back to her current worry.

"Maybe, but then they'll escape with their invisibility," Obäsan shrugged.

"Why did Shikun tell them to stay as long as they needed to?" Tessal asked. "Don't we want them to come back quickly so they stay safe?"

Obäsan shook her head sadly. "We expect that not enough strong youths and men lived, or were left by the soldiers. In order for the village and for us to survive through next winter the boys will stay long enough to help plant this year's crops. Shikun instructed Sensei to make that part of the negotiations."

Obäsan looked over to where the boys were currently working under the direction of Shikun. They were clearing another section of land, a rather large one, actually. The wood was being cut and stacked high, as if they'd already create enough firewood here in the spring to keep them and the village warm next winter.

"They'll only plant the fields that can be tended by those who've survived, and we'll go back to help them harvest. But if the soldiers and the king want to continue to punish us and them, he'll send soldiers again next fall to steal most of it from them to feed the soldiers in his army.

"We're going to ask the village to let us have seed, half if they'll give it to us. We'll farm here so that we can give food to them this next year if the king will starve us all again."

Tessal's breath caught and her heart beat fast. "You think he'd do it again, what happened this year?"

Obäsan nodded soberly. "We're quite sure of it. It's hard to have a full army and be at war. All of the men aren't at home to plant or to harvest. Who is left to do it?" She looked down at Reii, still sad, and ran her hand over the top of his head, earning her a glance from him. "What food does that army eat, to stay strong enough to fight the war of the king?"

Tessal's brow furrowed. That was a very good question. "What do they eat?" she asked.

Obäsan sighed. "They steal it from the villages and farmers they pass on the march - their own nation or the nation they've entered, it doesn't matter. A good king will gather it, make it a tax, sometimes pay a fraction of what it would normally sell for because that's all he can afford.

"This is not a good king. This is a king who has made a pact with the demon king. His army will steal it, like they stole it from the villagers."

"How can a whole army be so evil?" Tessal cried.

Obäsan shook her head. "They aren't necessarily all evil, but most of them are the foot soldiers sent in to kill and to die. All of them get hungry just like all of us. We are all family, yet you remember how terribly your brothers fought when they were most hungry."

Tessal was sad. She did remember. It always made her run away and hide with Obäsan, or up in the trees to not have to hear it. Obäsan sighed. "And when a king is evil, it gives all of his people the excuse to be evil, too. If they stopped to really think about it, they'd not steal from their mother what they're stealing from the woman her age several villages over. Why is there any difference?

"It's hard to live in a place at a time such as this. It makes everyone forget that it's much better for everyone to work together to be happy together. Like we want to work with the village still if we can."

Tessal nodded wisely. She much preferred that. The village she'd grown up in was more like how Obäsan described life under the evil king. She pondered on that as she picked Reii up to make him stand on his feet, to make his legs stronger. He pushed against the ground with firm determination and she encouraged him with her words, wanting him to become strong as fast as he could.

"Obäsan," she said slowly, "what is it Shikun and Sensei are trying to teach us? What is it we'll be sent to do?"

Obäsan smiled a small smile. "It will begin slowly, and is still years off, but it's the goal of this shinobi clan to remove the demon king and his ally, the king of this nation, so that a kinder leader can be put in his place. We wish for the people of the land and the region to be able to live in peace and happiness again as friends, neighbors, and allies."

Tessal soaked in the words, then settled, happy to have that be the answer. If they could all help to remove the evil and return the kindness to everyone, that was a worthy thing to be working so hard to reach.

As she milked the cow later that evening, Reii tucked up to her chest as she usually had him when she worked, Tessal sang a song to them both. A song that spoke of the hope they would bring the People of the Land again when they were both old enough and strong enough to make that kind of difference in the world.

-:-:-:-:-

The party that had gone out didn't return in six days. After the time everyone had been sent to bed that night, Tessal crept out to her hiding place where she listened to what the adults discussed. Shikun asked Obäsan to please see what had happened. If they'd been taken by the soldiers, he wanted to send out a rescue and defensive party.

Tessal was very relieved to hear Obäsan's answer after she'd listened to the Goddess' answer. "They are working the fields. ...Sensei has been able to obtain the seed we need to plant here, too. The villagers seem grateful that we will help them next winter."

There was a smile in her voice. "He had to tell them that if they gave us all the seed, they'd be punished even more in the fall. They can see the wisdom of making it look like they've had to plant a little less this year, even if the soldiers take all of it this next time."

Obäsan sighed, though, when she came back. "Of course, I'm not sure we can be the farmers for the whole village and us. We don't have enough sun here in the wood, unless we wish to give away where we are. Our own crops will produce less than their's will in the full sun."

Through the slit between wall panels, Tessal watched Shikun rub Obäsan's arm to comfort her. "I'm thinking we'll have the boys go and harvest early," he said. "We'll have to see how to set a watch outside the village to determine when the soldiers might be coming back. If we can hide a portion of the harvest, even with only invisibility, then the village will have something."

"It would have to be a small enough amount to not make the soldiers suspicious," Su Dou warned.

"I know," Shikun answered. "Those who tried to save too much would get into trouble, and might even be killed. But if not enough of the village survived the winter then the decreased crops could be blamed on that. It takes backs all year, not just at planting and harvest to see it lives. They might lose too much to that as it is." He sighed just as sadly as Obäsan had.

"We can only do what we can do," Obäsan said softly, taking her turn to comfort Shikun with a few gentle pats on his knee. He gave a nod of agreement.

Tessal let out a silent, long breath. It was true. Each could only do what they could do, but Shikun and Obäsan were trying hard to do things that would help everyone, if they could. She wished with all her heart that all of their efforts could be blessed and helped in this coming growing season.

She wished it as she lay back down on her bed, untying the sleeping Reii to lie next to him, covering them both with her blanket and his. She wished it the next morning as she milked the cow and let her and the calf out into their pen, and she wished it as she hunted through the forest for the mushrooms that were coming up every day now.

It was hard to only have milk, mushrooms, and the meat from a few monsters and the emerging animals that had been hibernating all winter. She hoped the vegetables growing in Obäsan's garden would grow fast, too, just like Reii. She wanted green foods soon.

Even more delicious would be the berries that would come on very soon in the woods. She was watching those plants closely every time she passed them while hunting for the edible mushrooms. She drooled every time she thought of how sweet those berries would be. The very first ripe one was hers. The rest she would pick and take back. She would savor the flavor of that one a long time.

-:-:-:-:-

A spring rain was beating out a steady sound on the roof of the main house over Tessal's head. She was glad she could hear it now. Reii's crying had drown it out for the last hour and a half. He was finally sleeping now, next to her. She was exhausted.

When Tessal had tried everything she knew of to help Reii, when he'd first started to cry, she'd gone to Obäsan in desperation. Obäsan had tried everything all over again: check the diaper, try to burp him, take all of his clothing and wraps off to see if something was wrong with his skin. Bouncing and walking hadn't even helped.

Obäsan had checked a few things that Tessal didn't know about, nor had Obäsan explained them. She'd checked to see if Reii was too hot, then had pressed on him all over his chest and belly. Some of those times Reii had wiggled, but the crying had never stopped nor changed really.

When Obäsan was done, she'd handed Reii over to Shikun, and left the house. Shikun had walked back and forth over and over again in the main room of the main house, humming quietly. Reii's ear had been pressed gently against Shikun's chest, held there by Shikun's hand as the other cradled Reii's bottom.

Tessal had nearly fallen asleep then, to Shikun's hum and the weariness she was in. She'd been grateful that Shikun would take Reii when she was that tired and at a loss. She'd nearly wanted to cry, too.

Eventually Obäsan had returned with Korin and a handful of herbs. Korin had put his hand on top of Reii's head, then had worked hard to understand what might be the problem. Korin had cast a spell that had made Reii's cries decrease to whimpers. Obäsan had disappeared again before then. She reappeared again about five minutes or so later with a small cup of a liquid that smelled rather nice, Tessal thought.

It was good she'd thought that, because Obäsan made her drink some of it, too, once Korin was tempting Reii to drink his. "Tomorrow we need to look very carefully through the cow pen. Don't put them out after you've milked the cow, and throw the milk away."

Tessal hadn't liked hearing that, but if it was something about the milk that had made Reii cry like that, then she'd be obedient. She'd only thought she'd had an upset stomach because Reii had been crying so much, but after she'd drunk the tea her stomach had started relaxing. By the time Reii had relaxed and fallen asleep, they'd both had to be carried to bed. She didn't know what the cow had eaten to make them feel that way, but she would learn it in the morning and make sure it was weeded out of the pen for sure from then on.

-:-:-:-:-

The next morning, when Tessal arrived in the shed to milk the cow, she froze in horror. "Shikun!" she cried out very loudly, then ran from the shed, calling for him, tears streaming down her face.

He met her on the porch, coming from his room, looking concerned. She looked up into his face. "The cow and the calf. They're both dead." She blinked to clear her eyes and tried not to sob. "How will we feed Reii now?"

Obäsan had been coming to join them, and now walked on past with long strides to go into the shed. Shikun wrapped an arm around Tessal. "Sometimes there are plants that are poisonous, and the cattle don't know to not eat them," Shikun said quietly. "Obäsan didn't know if it was one that would hurt the cows or not. Sometimes it's just a plant that hurts us, and not them. She was hoping it was one of those."

"Why did it happen?" Tessal asked, grieved.

"Now that it's spring, and the plants are growing again, new things appear where they weren't before. Before, it was the donkeys there. Goats can eat a lot of things other grazing animals can't, and donkeys some things that cows can't. It's possible we didn't know because of that. We didn't milk the donkeys to drink it and find out when we were sick."

"Why was it only me and Reii?" she asked, wanting to understand everything.

"You are the youngest and you both drink the most milk. Older and larger people can only feel the affects a little, and not think of it."

Tessal paused, then nodded sadly. "I thought my stomach was just tight for worry over Reii. But the tea made it relax."

"Yes, like that," Shikun said softly. "The rest of us might not even have felt that much." He stayed with her until Obäsan came back. By then Reii was awake and starting to fuss for wanting his breakfast.

"They'll have to be dragged away and buried. It will have poisoned the meat too much for us to eat it, now," Obäsan said sadly. Tessal felt even worse at that news. "Having them die narrows down what it was to only a few plants. We'll go out and search the pen for them after breakfast," Obäsan promised Tessal.

Reii fussed again and Obäsan looked at him with sympathy. "If we had potatoes, I'd boil some and have him drink the soup," she said. "Mushrooms are like the plant the cow ate. Little babies shouldn't have them until their stomachs grow up."

Tessal hung her head. "There were a couple of mushrooms I was letting grow until today. Would the cow have eaten them?"

"No. Cows only eat green things," Obäsan reassured her. "You can show them to me, though, and we'll make sure." Tessal felt slightly better, but was still worried.

"Did the calf die because it drank the milk, too?" Tessal asked in a small voice.

A soft hand came on her head. "Yes, Tessal, and yes, Reii might have died also, but humans usually don't to things cows eat. They usually only become sick. The time to worry is if Reii becomes listless, won't eat or drink, and won't move or even cry. Then he is likely very ill or poisoned."

Tessal gave a nod that she'd heard. It was good to know those signs ahead of time, to watch for them. Obäsan looked towards the kitchen. "I'll go see what I can turn into a meal for Reii and get started on breakfast for the rest of us." She gave Tessal a brief hug and slid the kitchen wall panel open to enter it.

Tessal looked up at the worried frown on Shikun's face. "I'm sorry I didn't take care of the cow properly," she said miserably.

Shikun gave her shoulder a squeeze. "It was a thing you didn't know to watch for yet. Those kinds of lessons are painful, but help us remember for next time."

"What can we do?" Tessal asked.

Shikun looked at her for a while, then said, "Why don't you sit and think about it? Perhaps you can think of a solution that might work." Tessal didn't really like that answer, but Shikun was right, she supposed. If she'd made the cow and calf die, perhaps she should rightfully be the one to figure out how to fix it.

Tessal left the porch to pace the open space, thinking while Obäsan worked on breakfast. The movement kept Reii quiet, but restless. She tried to soothe him a little with her voice, too.

The other boys who were supposed to help with getting breakfast ready were arriving. They gave her raised eyebrows for not already being on the porch feeding Reii, but she didn't answer them. Instead she asked if Mattias was up.

She was a little surprised when Mattias' sleepy voice answered her in her ear. "I'm up."

"Can you talk all the way to Sensei from here?" she asked him.

That woke him up a little more. "That far? Why?"

She was sad all over again, but she took a breath. "The cow died last night, from eating something poisonous to it. We need to have them bring a new milk cow from the village when they come."

"You think they didn't eat them all?" he asked, a bit skeptical.

"We didn't," she said in a small voice.

"Truuee," he drew the word out thoughtfully. "But I would think it would be hard for them to give one up, and very expensive for us."

"I know," Tessal's face crumpled, "but I want them to try, just in case." Then she remembered, "Or even a she-goat that is giving milk right now. That would be okay, too.

"We need to replace the wagons and the donkeys, but I don't know if humans can drink the milk of donkeys. Sensei would know. He learned about animals like that when he was young." He'd told her that when he'd taught her to milk the cow.

"Will you at least try to talk to him?" Tessal begged. Mattias hesitated. "I'll give you half of my breakfast," she offered.

"Okay, I'll try if you'll feed me to repay the cost it will take to do something that large."

"I will," Tessal promised. They'd all learned that increasing the strength of skills made them both tired and hungry. Mattias could stay in bed for a few more minutes while he tried and she'd feed him more to make up the rest.

She paced a little more, then called quietly for Kishi-Mujin. The little sprite showed up sparkling in front of her, a little concerned. "I messed up," Tessal said to her sadly. "If Mattias can't reach Sensei, would you go and try to tell Sensei what happened? That the cow was poisoned by something she ate and we need an animal that can feed Reii?"

Kishi-Mujin floated in front of Tessal, thoughtful, then glanced at the kitchen where Obäsan was, shook her head and disappeared. Since Obäsan came out of the kitchen just then with Reii's cup to call Tessal over, she wasn't sure if that had been a no that Kishi-Mujin wouldn't help, or that right then was bad timing to ask the question.

Mattias was mean and wouldn't tell Tessal what his results had been until he'd finished eating his half of her food. She tried to be patient as he took longer to eat because of it. It didn't help that it made her stomach pinch. It had been a thin breakfast again generally, with none of them getting milk.

The rest were rather upset with her that what could have been a good source of meat (the calf) had died, too. She sat in her corner, feeling ostracized and sad. She couldn't help the wiggle of anxious unhappiness every now and again.

Mattias finally got up from his place and walked over to Tessal. He set both her dishes and his on her little table. "I tried really hard, and said the words, but I couldn't hear him if he answered. That's the best I could do. I'll keep trying to talk to him, because I think it would be good to be able to do that, but I don't know when or if I'll really get through to him."

Tessal nodded sadly. "Thank you for trying, Mattias," she said. He gave her a nod and walked back to his table to put it away. She stayed there to recover, then sighed and rose to her feet to take both sets of dishes out for washing.

Not knowing if Sensei had heard the message was hard. Tessal really didn't want him to get back in a few weeks and not have heard it. They'd have to send someone out again, or worse, go without and figure out how to feed Reii something else. He'd been very unhappy with that morning's broth.

Obäsan had told her to wait until he was very hungry next time so he'd eat it, because he'd eat anything then. Tessal wasn't so sure that would work. It wasn't very nutritious, either. Not like milk was.

When the breakfast was cleaned up, Obäsan came for Tessal and they carefully went through all of the plants in the pen. The mushrooms didn't look like they'd been touched, but a few plants near them had been eaten.

Obäsan finally pulled out one plant, showing Tessal what it looked like. The others might have been eaten down too far to tell. Then Obäsan said, "Tessal, let's take out the mushrooms, the plants near them, and the ground around them. Sometimes the poisons of a mushroom can leech into the soil and then get drawn up into the plants near them. I'm not confident that this plant is the one that would have killed the cows."

Tessal gave a nod and they worked hard with a shovel and a cloth to dig up the dirt and plants around the mushrooms. They both had to drag the cloth, then dump it under one of the trees far from the pen, garden, and fields being created.

"I'll hold on to the plant and see if Josey or Sensei recognize it," Obäsan said when that was done. "You keep looking through the pen every couple of days. Pull any more, and any mushrooms, as soon as you recognize them. It's better to get rid of them in the early spring than when they are tall, woody, and trying to sow their seed to plant more of themselves."

She'd said that already a lot when they'd been weeding her little garden bed, but Tessal promised. Then she had to go and hunt in her portion of the woods for food for that night and tomorrow's breakfast. They'd each taken a part of the woods, so it was easy for them to know what was new and growing, or ready to eat.

Tessal was tired and even more discouraged when she got back to the compound. There were almost no new mushrooms and the fruit bushes still looked like they wouldn't be ready for another few weeks. It was hard to having warming weather, but still no food available.

She had caught a few small creatures, so there would be a little meat in the pot from her efforts, but there still weren't any large enough animals to be real food. She wondered if maybe Shikun should have left the monsters of the woods there.

Tessal took her catches to the kitchen and passed them over, then went to Obäsan's garden. She pulled the very few weeds from the patch for her, since skinning very small animals took a long time. She'd go out and catch things outside the woods herself, except that she couldn't be invisible to demons, and she could only leave Reii alone for short periods of time while he napped. He napped longer when he had a full belly. That wasn't likely to happen again for a while.

She sighed. It was hard work to keep a baby alive and growing. They'd warned her, but she understood it a lot better now. Tessal rocked Reii, patting his back lightly, almost absently. "If I was really your mother, I would just feed you whenever you were hungry, and not worry," she told him.

He was awake now and wondering where his next meal was, and why he wasn't on the ground practicing moving yet. Tessal knew he wasn't hungry enough yet to want the broth, so she only untied the blanket holding him to her. She had practice now laying it out one-handed while she held on to him with the other.

She sat with Reii, talking to him. She held out a stick and he worked at learning to grab it. When he did, she let it go, but watched him carefully to see he didn't poke himself in the eye with it. He worked hard to grab it with his other hand and was very proud when he managed to trade hands holding the stick.

She took it back, because that had put the long end too close to his face. His face puckered up, so she held it out to the first hand again. They played that game for a while, starting with the other hand after a while.

Eventually that wasn't enough to distract Reii, so she stood him up on his feet. That didn't last long either. He was getting too hungry. Tessal sighed at him. "I'm sorry Reii. You came to us at a time we were starving. We're honestly still starving. It really helped us all to have the miracle of the cow to keep you alive. It kept all of us alive this winter. But it died today." The tears threatened to come back.

"I don't have milk for you today. You're going to have to have the broth for a while just to stay alive, just like the rest of us. Drink it for me, for Shikun, for Korin, and for you. Drink it today, okay?" He just fussed at her, but she couldn't be surprised. He only knew his tummy was empty and what he was used to eating wasn't what he was getting.