Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 5

My alarm went off as I stared at the ceiling. I needed to get up, but I didn't really have the drive to. If it were for any other reason than my daughter, I would have rolled over, but my little girl deserved better.

I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. While I showered, I thought about my now fully stocked fridge. The last few days all the PTA mothers and older ladies in Forks had decided it was their responsibility to feed me. There were two problems with their misguided generosity. First, half of these women couldn't cook, so I was afraid to eat what they'd prepared. Secondly, they'd made these big casserole things, and all that meant was I'd be reheating them for a few days because I didn't have a family to feed. It was just me.

But I wasn't about to deal with that today.

After my shower, I wiped the mirror down and looked at my reflection. I hadn't shaved since my last shift and I had the beginning of a beard. I thought about shaving, but decided against it and moved on to drying my hair so I had some hope of getting it to look presentable.

I spent more time than I had in a while getting ready and dressed in my suit, unsure if I should eat or not. I was tying my shoes when I heard the keys rattle in the lock.

"Edward?" Bella called.

"In here," I answered.

She rounded the corner with a bag from the bakery. "I brought two muffins and was hoping you had the coffee already brewed."

"It's on a timer, so it is all ready in the kitchen."

"Good." Bella walked past me into the kitchen.

I followed her as she made us both coffee and then got down plates for our muffins.

"You've already been to the bakery this morning?"

"No, I baked these last night and then wrapped them up for us. I figured you wouldn't want to cook this morning and I didn't want to deal with any people dropping by."

"Have people been bringing you food too?"

Bella looked at me. "No one has brought me food, but I'm assuming it is because I run the bakery and they've all eaten my cooking. No, I've been getting flowers, even though the obituary Alice put together asked for a donation to the police and fire departments in lieu of flowers."

"When people don't know how to respond, they do what they'd want. If you want to raid my freezer, there's plenty in there." I started to eat, since Bella was already partway through her muffin.

Bella chuckled. "No thanks, you always had a stronger stomach than I did."

I shook my head at her response.

"Alice said you packed up Vanessa's things?"

I looked at her and saw the unshed tears in her eyes. "I haven't been sleeping great, and one morning, I woke up and her door and the bathroom door were closed. I hollered for her to hurry up before I was fully with it, and then the reality of it hit me. I haven't left a door closed upstairs unless I was in the room since."

"I know I should start to go through things, but I'm scared."

"Alice is the only reason I made it through. She got the boxes and we donated most of it to Rosalie's shelter. I've got a few boxes in the basement that I'm keeping, but other than that, it helped a little."

"Maybe you can help me, once we've laid her to rest? I don't think either of us could handle that this weekend."

"If you want me there, I'll be there," I told her.

I looked at her, and she was wearing a simple black dress. It had a high neck and flared out at her waist, she looked beautiful.

"What, do I have deodorant on my dress?" She looked frantically at the fabric.

"No, sorry. You look lovely. I just haven't seen you all done up in a while."

"I know, adult time hasn't really been something I've had in a while. Life has gotten in the way."

"I understand that." And truthfully, I did.

"Well, we shouldn't let it. Life is too short. This last week has taught us that."

"I certainly have time now," I told her.

"How long are you on leave for?"

I had to think for a moment. "Six weeks, but I can extend it, if I want."

"Do you have any plans for that time?" Bella asked.

"I've been putting off some repairs for a long time, so I'm going to work on that. Take care of some other things while I have the time."

"Don't forget to take time for yourself," she added.

"I will."

Bella looked at the time on the microwave. "Well, we should really get to the funeral home. Want to ride together?"

"Sure. Did you want to drive, or should I?"

"You drive, I'm not exactly graceful getting into and out of my SUV in heels."

We cleaned up from our breakfast and I led Bella out to my car. It was a short drive to the funeral home, and Alistair was waiting for us at the door.

"Bella, Edward, welcome. Everything is set if you'd like some private time with Vanessa. Afternoon wakes are usually the less attended of the two, so it will help to ease you into it."

"A few of Vanessa's friends will be here, so I'm not sure if there's a way to prepare for that."

"What?" I turned to Bella.

"The school told her class after it happened and they had an assembly for her this morning, but Makenna, Bree, and Sarah will all be at the wake. Their parents called and asked if it was okay and I said yes. I'm sorry, Edward, I should have asked you."

"It's fine. I just wasn't ready to see her friends. But I'll be okay."

We entered the viewing room and Bella stopped short in front of me.

"Bella?"

She nodded her head towards the front of the room. "The casket is small, I didn't think about it being her size."

I squeezed her shoulders and began to lead her up front. "We'll do it together."

We walked slowly up to the casket and stopped at the side of it. Looking down at my little girl broke my heart. I'd never hear her voice again, or see her smile. She'd never crawl into my bed when it was cold to get 'Daddy snuggles' or run in to show me her latest school assignment. I have no idea how long I stood there crying when I felt my mother's arms tugging to turn me away from the casket.

"Oh, my boy. I'm so sorry." She cried with me for a moment before I was passed amongst my various family members.

I was finally able to pull myself together just before Alistair returned to let me know it was time.

People slowly filed in as Bella and I stood up front and accepted their condolences. My family was in the front row, speaking quietly to people after they were able to pay their respects.

I took every heartfelt greeting with a solemn nod, not sure how else to respond. It wasn't until I heard little whispers that I gripped Bella's hand. Makenna, Bree, and Sarah walked up quietly, huddled together for support. When they got to us, they handed both Bella and I big, handmade cards.

"Here Chief," Makenna murmured softly. "We all miss Nessa. She was my best friend."

The other girls nodded their agreement and I squatted down and pulled each girl in for a hug. "I know Nessa would be happy that you came today to say goodbye. She loved you all like sisters."

Bella hugged the girls as well before the trio went up to the casket. They knelt together and bowed their heads for a few moments before they stood up and each tucked something in beside her.

I watched as they walked over to Rosalie, along with their mothers, and I took a brief break to speak to Emmett. "How are Amun and Benji handling all of this?"

"It's rough. They remember their mom's wake, so they asked to go to school today, but they'll be at the funeral tomorrow."

I hadn't even thought of the fact that this wasn't their first time dealing with death. "If they aren't up to it, I won't be upset if you or Rose stay home with them. You need to take care of your family."

Jasper walked up and whispered. "I'm surprised Jake isn't here supporting Bella."

"Jasper," Alice hissed behind him.

"They're no longer together. And after he didn't take responsibility for his actions and Sam didn't feel like he could charge Jake with a crime, I told Sam that we didn't want anyone present today."

"I'm glad they respected you in that at least," Rosalie whispered and then I rejoined Bella as we greeted people.

Once the trail of people slowed down, Pastor Weber stood up to begin the service. Samantha, Riley, and Derek came in and took their seats in the back in case a call came in that required them to return to work.

I could barely focus on his words as I bowed my head. It hurt to think. It hurt to feel. The only comfort, a purely selfish one, was that Bella was sitting beside me thinking and feeling the same things.

My mother stood up and spoke about her little helper, the pair of hands ready to dive into anything whether it was the flower bed or a dough for some treat they were baking together. She compared her creativity and curiosity to Bella and her determination and sometimes serious demeanor to me.

Rosalie talked about how Vanessa was one of the first family members to visit when they had a new foster, wanting them to feel welcome and let them know there was another kid in the family.

I heard snippets of conversations around the room, stories about Vanessa and how she'd touched all of these people.

When the wake mercifully came to an end, my mother steered Bella and I to my car and told us to return to the house. We ate a meal together and, after, Amun and Benji sat on the couch, subdued.

I walked over, picking up the remote to the Playstation my mom had for the children, young and old, that came through her house.

"Did you boys want to play?" I asked.

They both looked up at me in shock. It was a moment before Amun spoke. "I don't want to get in trouble. These games are loud."

"You're playing with me, no one is going to get upset. Come on, I need something to focus on."

I let the boys pick, and a few minutes later we were racing around playing Crash Team Racing. This was something that was separate from Vanessa. She preferred single player computer games, Diner Dash and things like that. She would occasionally humor me with a round on some cartoonish game when we were visiting my mom, but not often.

It was good to hear the boys' laughter, to step out from under the crushing weight of the day for even a little while.

I felt Bella's hand grip my shoulder and I turned to her. "It's time to head back over."

"You boys keep practicing. I want a rematch next time I see you," I told the boys as they started the next race without me.

Bella and I walked hand in hand to my car, my mom staying behind with the boys.

We got in the car and Bella looked over at me with a sad smile. "You were so good with the boys."

"It was just some video games," I told her.

"It was taking time on an incredibly difficult day to make it okay for them to be kids."

I nodded, not wanting the praise for simply being a decent human being, I didn't find it as exceptional as Bella seemed to. Her phone pinged and she checked it quickly and sighed.

"What was that?"

"Emily and Leah. They were inviting me to the bonfire they're having for Vanessa tonight."

"Are you going?"

"No. I don't want to validate their behavior. Leah's acting like the injured party because we banned anyone from coming. She kept bitching last night and I finally told her that I'd agreed to it and she had better respect our wishes."

"Thank you, for going along with me on that. I know you might not feel as strongly about it, but I couldn't sit there with Jake, Sam, and Emily and the others crying when they all played a part in what happened. They stopped watching her when she was their responsibility."

"Jake keeps calling. I'm about ready to change my number."

"You shouldn't have to do that. Call Sam and tell him to talk to Jake. Explain that if he keeps it up, you'll go to the cops."

"And do what?"

"File a harassment complaint. He's shown up at your house, but he lives in La Push, so you'd have to go to both police stations. But it isn't hard to compile evidence to give them and Sam would have to act then."

"Okay. I'll do that. Maybe it will get him to realize I'm serious."

We pulled into the funeral home and braced ourselves for another two hours of public mourning. On other occasions I'd found it cathartic to grieve this way, but with my daughter, it was a lot harder to get through.

The evening was a lot more people than the day, with Maggie and Liam attending to round out my small force. I spent quite a few minutes talking to them, but Maggie waved me off when the discussion of the amount of time they were working was brought up.

"We're following the same schedule you've always set up when someone is off. We have alternating weeks so no one will get too burnt out, and if we need to, we can call on reinforcements. PA has offered and so has La Push, but we told Sam that while we appreciated the offer, we were okay for now."

"Thank you, Maggie, for keeping it professional with him. If we really need it, call on them, but for routine fill ins, I would stick with PA."

"That's what Samantha was thinking as well," Liam added.

"I'd better get back up front, thank you all, for everything."

I returned to Bella and my family and we were once again surrounded by stories. No one got up to speak this evening, but the time passed just as quickly.

When it was time for everyone to file out, I moved up to stand behind Bella where she was saying goodbye to Vanessa. She finished and kissed her forehead, giving me a chance to have a private moment.

I knelt in front of the casket and bowed my head.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I don't know how I'm going to keep going without you. You were my world, Nessa, my whole world."

I kept praying for Nessa, to Nessa, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Bella standing behind me.

"Alistair is ready to close up for the night. Are you ready?"

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to let her go. We'll never see her face again after today."

Bella wrapped her arms around my shoulders and rested her chin on my head. "We have to let her go. It kills me to do it, but it's time."

"I know," I whispered.

Bella backed up so I could stand and then I bent down to kiss her forehead, much like her mother had a few moments ago. "Goodbye, Sweet Girl. Until we meet again."