Chapter 32

Traitor

Present Day

2029

The event was undoubtedly successful and we ended the night with a bang. Elliott brought the house down with his electronic music. The unique mixes of his music were so catchy and even my Mom can't stop dancing. Elliott had these passionate facial expressions as he spun the disc while looking at the dancing crowd. I really can't get over at how much he changed.

After the event, Willow asked to stay and have a sleepover in Kate's house. I tried to tell her no but before I can do so, Kate enthusiastically told her, "Of course! You can sleep in our house! You can wear the banana pajamas."

Willow was so happy that you could hear her victory cry from a distance. I just shook my head while Mom just shrugged.

"Kate, this is too much," I told her. I really didn't want to bother her at all.

"Come on, Ana! Please, it's been almost ten years since we last saw each other. We want to spend time with Willow too."

With that, I couldn't say no.

The party wrapped up with Kate announcing, "See you on Monday! We will have a total blast this school year!" Everyone went home with smiles on their faces. The ambiance was good, the food was delicious, and video presentations about the school made parents feel like they didn't regret enrolling their children here.

Christian decided to stay the night too. He drove us to Kate's house, just within the estate. While on the drive home, he kept listening to Willow's babbling about how she felt meeting the family. He laughed and laughed at how jovial she was for meeting the persons who were just names in her family tree.

I, on the other hand, was completely zoned out and distracted about the thought of Christian being in a coma. The questions were bothering me. I didn't want to know. I didn't need to know, but I had to be at peace. This war inside my chest was getting worse. I needed to know what happened.

We arrived at Kate's house and she was clearly lying when she said her house was just enough for the three of them. This was a single attached three-story home. The contemporary styled home looked grand and elegant. The colors of white and brown matched perfectly on the exterior and the golden lights made the house look more immaculate.

Clearly, this could not just be for a family of three. However, Kate grew up in a huge abbey so it would make sense that this house would be small for her.

On the left side was another house. It's also contemporary styled but it only had one floor. It was still as wide and as beautiful though. What separated the two houses was a swimming pool.

"That's Ethan's house and this is mine and Elliott's," Kate explained as she led us to her home—the three-story one.

Willow was completely speechless and she felt as though she was in a castle. She was jumping up and down and expressed how beautiful the house was.

"Your house is so nice! Oh, this is like a palace! I feel like a princess here!" Willow expressed to Elijah. She kept doing that the entire night. She just talked and talked, not caring that Elijah wasn't replying at all. However, he was smiling at her. No matter how thin the smile was, I knew that I saw it. He's clearly fond of Willow too.

The night was so relaxing as we gathered together in the living room by the fireplace. We all washed and changed to the clothes Kate and Elliott provided. Willow was in a yellow pajama set with banana prints all over it while Elijah was in a red one with tomato prints. Then, Ethan and Mond arrived from next door. I smiled at how Mond look. His hair's spiky like an anime character and his sleepwear had the word, "scrappa" on it. I didn't know what it meant.

We were all entertained by Willow and how she narrated the entire night as if we weren't there. Kate and Elliott's eyes were glimmering at the sight of her and Ethan's too. I could tell Elijah was confused at her energy. She's on Kate's lap and she kissed the top of his head while gazing at Willow.

"Whoa! Slow down, kid," Mond said with his cool voice.

"I am not a kid anymore!" Willow told him again and he laughed. I could tell that he just loved pissing her off. He squeezed her cheek and Willow scowled more.

I sat right next to Mom and rested my head against her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around me and soothed my back. We were surrounded by the people we've always considered a family and they were all enamored by Willow too. For once, I felt contentment and at peace. I felt . . . happy.

But, I looked at Christian across me. He was smiling in awe of how adorable Willow was and I couldn't shake the thought of him being in a coma. I thought there was more to know.

I had to know. I really had to know.

-page break-

When we were all tired, Kate took me, Mom, and Willow to their enormous guest room and Mom can't seem to be dazzled. This truly felt like a hotel room. Willow jumped all over the king's sized bed until she fell asleep. Of course, Christian told her a mini-bedtime story and tucked her in before he left with Ethan and Mond to sleep at the house next door.

I paced back and forth, I twisted and turned, but sleep can't seem to agree with me. Mom and Willow were snoring already while I can't seem to get my head off the bothering feeling of wanting to clarify things with Christian.

The clock struck 12 and I still was not sleepy at all. I shook my head and got up from the bed. Kate lent me her white pajamas. I grabbed Mom's shawl and wrapped it around my body as I stepped out of the balcony.

I sighed deeply and stared at the skies above. I wanted to approach Christian, but things were awkward between us.

"I don't know. I'm just confused," I told myself.

The sky was blue with a few stars while the moon was missing its half. Its shape didn't bring me so much light. I just rolled my eyes. If Dad were here, he'd tell me to smile since the other crescent is found in my lips. Oh, how I miss my Dad. I really miss him.

I sighed and shook my head. I looked to the right and saw Christian by the swimming pool. He was sitting on a deck chair, wearing his hood on top and Elliott's gray pajamas on the bottom.

He seemed to be deep in thought and even from this angle, I could tell he really wasn't doing well.

I stared up at the sky and made the moon whole when I finally smiled, gave it its missing crescent. If Dad were here, he'd literally push me to talk to Christian.

"Okay, Dad, I'll talk to him," I told the moon before heading downstairs.

-page break-

I held the shawl tighter around my body as I felt the wind blow cold when I was walking by the pool. Christian was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice I was next to him.

"Christian, hey," I barely whispered.

He slowly looked up. "H-hi, Ana. H-hey," his eyes went wide as he was obviously startled at my presence.

I sat right next to him, on the empty deck chair. We didn't look at each other. Our eyes were fixated on the swimming pool, clearly tense because of the awkwardness between us.

I let out a deep sigh. I always knew that the air between us was always tense because it carried the unspoken words—the words I thought were better left unsaid. But what if they must be said? What if both of us needed to hear what we had to say about each other?

"They have such lovely homes," I told him.

He turned to look at me and that's when I realized that he looked older, he looked so exhausted that he would almost give out. I saw him tired before when he was in med school, but not like this. He didn't have that glow anymore.

"I agree. Uhm . . . the vacant lot right next to Kate's is mine. It's been mine for three years but I can't seem to find a reason on why I should build a house there. I mean I have a penthouse in the city, but since I got Willow now, I'm starting to build one," he said.

"Will it be like your manor?" I asked, remembering their home before.

He shook his head, "No. It will be whatever Willow wants it to be."

I nodded and smiled at that. It would make Willow happy to have a much more comfortable home.

"Your parents are not allowed to visit, okay? Especially your mother," I tried to make it sound like a joke, but it's not. I sounded so bitter just by the mention of her. How could I not? Her very existence haunted me. Just like Christian, she made me feel small and worthless. I also had this constant state of anxiety that she would one day show up to terrorize Willow.

"She's not my mother," Christian said bitterly.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course, she's not."

"No, Ana, she really isn't my mother." There was an edge to his voice that called out my attention. He reached to touch my wrist and I was breathless. It was slowly sinking in but at the same time it's not. Wh-what? What's going on?

Christian held my wrist tighter when he told me, "She is not my real mother."

I gasped and shook my head, "What, Christian? I . . . I," I was speechless. It seemed as though he was speaking in another language.

He shifted his body so he was fully facing me. This time, he held both of my hands, so tightly as if he were begging for this moment, for him to tell me everything.

"After I e-ended things with you—" he winced "—I found out the truth. I overheard Grace and Carrick arguing. Then, it slipped. Elliott's the only son while me and Mia are his half siblings. Grace is not our mother."

I still couldn't move.

His voice cracked and tears slipped from his eyes, "I was so mad. I was incredibly mad. Everything just became blurry. I begged for their love—for her love and affection when I was a child and it just made sense. I was angry because Mia died never knowing the truth. I terminated the contract I had with her, ended the engagement with Leila that night, and drove to you."

I shook my head. This was unbelievable.

"But I wasn't seeing clearly and I hit a truck. The car rolled over and the last thing I saw was your face."

"Bullshit!" I shouted and shoved his hand away from mine. I stood up from the chair and paced back and forth, again and again, while wrapping the shawl around my body tighter. My entire body was cold.

"Ana," his voice was shaking.

"No, Christian! You are not making any sense. Stop doing this to me. You can't just say stuff like that. You can't!"

He stood up and looked confused.

"You can't just make it seem like you still love me when you don't!"

"I still love you. I never stopped loving you. All these years, all this time, it was always you," he said so passionately that I wanted to slap him. How could he make it sound so real? How can he lie so well? I rolled my eyes and started crying.

"No, Christian, you cannot lie to me, okay? Grace may not be your real mother but it doesn't change the fact that you saw me the way she did: just a stain, just a garbage in your life!"

He was reaching out to touch my face but I pushed his hands away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the words I said. I didn't mean them. Ana, I did it for you. I thought what I did was right. I thought that if I left you, had Carla out of prison, and give you the money then It would be alright, that it would all be good!" He desperately explained.

I couldn't move. Money? What?

Then, he cupped my face with his shaking hands, "Ana, I wanted to save you. You weren't okay anymore. I made a deal with Grace. I agreed to marry Leila, leave med school, and dedicate myself to the company so she can get Carla out of prison and give you $85 million dollars."

I was shocked. I asked in a low voice, "The money? It was you who sent it?"

"It was me," he confirmed and looked confused at the same time.

I slowly shook my head and took one step away from him. His hands left hanging in air as my cheeks broke free from his grasp. The shawl fell on the floor but I didn't care.

"Who did you think the money came from?" He asked.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. What happened with the money was the final straw. It broke who I was. It broke me until I reached my lowest point. I shook my head over and over again. All this time, that's what happened? He left me because he thought he would give me a better life?

Well, bullshit! Fuck him!

"Fuck you! Fuck you, Christian!" I could contain it any longer. I launched towards him and hit his chest again and again. I cursed him over and over, my hands weakening at every strong hit I gave him. He didn't stop me. He flinched and winced but never once he tried to stop me.

"Fuck you!" I screamed before finding myself sitting on the ground, my bottom not touching the surface, and my hands covering my face. I felt like a child, a helpless child at that moment. I felt so powerless, I felt so weak.

He was silent. I looked up and he was staring into nothing, tears streamed down his face.

I slowly stood up and finally said all the things I wanted to say to him, "Do you know how you destroyed me? Do you know how those words ruined me? You didn't mean them but you still said them, Christian! You fucking did!

Do you know how many nights I've spent doubting myself? Wasn't I good enough? Weren't all those eight years good enough for you to choose me? I cried so much, Christian! I lost myself because of what you did!

Do you know how many days and nights I would cry every time I saw my baby? Christian, we were supposed to be married. We were supposed to watch Willow grow old together. But you chose to break my heart and send me to hell."

I've never cried this much. All those words I've kept inside me were all spoken and it felt like I was passing the pain to him, without it leaving me too.

"I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I only wanted to make it better for you. Your mom was in jail, your sister died, your father died, you can't go to school, and I can't just stand there and do nothing!"

I cried out, "No, Christian. All I ever wanted was for you to stay, for you to hold me when everything's not okay. You didn't have to change my life or turn the world upside down to make it all okay. All I ever needed was you, just you to be with me."

"I'm sorry," he said for the millionth time.

We stood in front of each other, not knowing what to say with our faces coated in tears.

I pulled myself together and found my voice more.

"You didn't leave me for Leila. You didn't leave me because you thought too low of me, but you still betrayed me. You became a traitor when you forgot that it was supposed to be you and me against the world. You didn't give me a choice. You left me alone."

"Ana—" he almost replied but I walked away from him.

Knowing the truth didn't change anything.

Thank you for reading.

Your thoughts on the chapter? - Cloud