A/N: Just a little oneshot brought to you by thepriceisrizzoli's favorite trope, her three-chaired mind, and an ending joke from On the Town because I'm still a nerd.
Maura would never forget the arched eyebrow she got from her mother when, as a child, she said she thought hospitals smelled nice. She still did. More than that, hospitals were miraculous places for answers. They were places for healing. That had made them seem magical to her as a child, and she'd dreamed of working in one the way that other kids might've dreamed about going to outer space or living in an enchanted castle.
However, coming in as a patient was a little different.
The anesthesia from the kidney transplant had finally worn off, and the pain was what had woken Maura up. The familiar smell of the hospital, though, was what had really pulled her out of her slumber. Now the sounds were coming in - the beeping of the equipment in her room, nurses outside answering phones. She wondered what time it was, but didn't want to open her eyes.
If she opened her eyes, she'd see an empty room. And nothing seemed sadder to her than an empty, impersonal hospital room. That it would be empty, she had no doubt: Hope would certainly be with Cailin, and Maura couldn't blame her for that. Constance was on the board of a new museum in Cologne, and its grand opening coincided with this surgery, so Maura hadn't even mentioned it. The museum was a passion project for Constance and this wasn't a life-threatening surgery, so it hadn't seemed right to make her feel guilty about being torn. It was even the same weekend that Angela and Cavanaugh had planned a romantic getaway to Niagara Falls, which Angela had offered to reschedule so she could take care of Maura, but Maura wouldn't hear of it. Cavanaugh's calendar wasn't exactly flexible and besides, she hated to inconvenience anyone. She was used to being alone.
She had hoped to count on Jane, but Jane seemed too caught up in her own drama with Casey these days to be reliable. It was depressing to think that, and also Maura was still wrestling with her feelings of guilt. It made perfect sense for a friend - even a best friend - to come in second to a boyfriend. Maybe it'd be easier if she liked Casey more, but she resented him for more than his monopolization of Jane's feelings.
Jane had said she'd be there, which Maura had doubted but the desperately romantic side of her had hoped Jane would return to her old self and make good on her word. Circumstances outside her control intervened, however, when a nasty new case was handed to her days before Maura's surgery. And being on the job was certainly something Maura would never resent.
Was it all this thinking of Jane that had summoned the scent of lavender?
Curious to check the time and distract herself if for no other reason, Maura rolled onto her side and finally opened her eyes. She was confused: two of the masks from her office were propped against the wall. Actually, a number of things from her office were here- a small sculpture, a framed painting, even her Karim Rashid chair. What? Dumbfounded, Maura finally looked to the right side of the room, where there was the most surprising sight of all.
All three chairs were lumped together to accommodate Jane's lanky frame as she slept. Her arms were folded, a bouquet of lavenders tucked between them, and her blazer lain out as a makeshift blanket. She looked as ragged as ever, and Maura wondered how long it had been since Jane had slept. It was a little after 9:00 at night and she looked so far gone.
Maura wanted to speak to her, to say anything, for Jane to be awake and make her laugh - but how could she do that when Jane was obviously so exhausted? But she was here, she'd come, she'd made the effort and fallen asleep here just in hopes that Maura wouldn't be alone when she woke up. She cared. Emotion throttled Maura out of nowhere and in the effort to choke back sudden tears, she slipped and let out one loud, ugly sob.
The sob turned almost at once into laughter, because the sound had jerked Jane awake, causing her to twist towards the bed and try to get up at the same time. This in turn made her collapse on the floor in a tangle of chairs because in order to sleep on all three of them, she'd had to position her body through the arms of the chairs. She groaned loudly for comedic effect as she started to disentangle herself from the furniture.
"C-careful," Maura wheezed. "We don't want you ending up in the room next door!"
A nurse came running in to see what had caused the commotion, and did not so much as crack a smile as she helped Jane put the chairs back in place. After checking to see if Maura needed anything besides her pain relievers, she left without giving Jane another look.
"Did you put away her brother or something?" Maura asked.
"No," Jane chuckled, pulling a single chair closer to the bed. "I pissed her off earlier, is all. I may have had to badge my way in here since visiting hours are over. She was givin' me lip and I gave it back to her. Hey," she murmured when that got Maura to tear up again. "What's with the waterworks, poindexter? Do you need more meds or something? Because I'll face that nurse again for you if-"
Maura shook her head, smiling through her tears. "No, no, I'm all right. Thank you." She reached over, touching Jane's arm. "I just can't believe you're here. I'm so glad you're here."
Jane waved her semi-squashed bouquet of flowers (damaged in her wake-up collapse) and put them on one of the other chairs. Without pausing to give it thought, she slid her arm from Maura's grip so she could take hold of her hand. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry? I said I was glad."
"I know." Jane was staring at their hands, worried that she'd get emotional too if she were to meet Maura's gaze. "I mean, I'm sorry that you have to be surprised that I'd be here. I suck."
"What are you talking about? No you don't. You had that case from the bank, I understand you couldn't be sure you'd make it. How's it coming?"
"I don't know," Jane sighed. "The dumbasses robbed a Federal Reserve bank, and it got connected to a robbery in Connecticut, so the FBI got involved. Frost is still helping them out, but I thought I'd let them handle it." Maura's grip tightened, and Jane swallowed back tears. She knew that Maura knew how hard it was for her to give up jurisdiction, and that an elaboration was warranted. "Frost is smart. The Feds are okay, I guess, and they'll get the job done. I would've helped, but I thought there was maybe someone who needed me more." She squeezed Maura's hand back. "See, TJ has a tee-ball tournament coming up, and-"
"Shut up," Maura laughed. "How'd you get all my things in here? How'd you get my chair in here?"
"Oh, right. That's another thing that got the nurse all bent out of shape. Regulation this, regulation that, but I told her you're the Chief Medical Examiner and that means, I dunno, you should get some pull in a freakin' hospital. Tommy helped me haul this stuff over here in his truck, so I'll pass along your thanks. I tried sleeping in that damn awful chair of yours, by the way, and my ultimate solution was a lot more comfortable."
Maura looked again at all the items from her office, smiling in disbelief. "I can't believe you did that."
"Yeah, well, I remember you saying how much you hated sterile hospital rooms with their total lack of personality, and I couldn't find any balloons that said 'sorry your sister is a dick and you deserve so much better,' so I did this instead. I know you'll only be in here for like, two days, but I figured you might get sick of seeing my face and want to look at something else for a minute."
"No, no," Maura said again. She reached up with her free hand, tracing her fingers against Jane's cheek. "I could never get sick of seeing your face." She let the sentiment linger as Jane's eyes finally met her own. Jane was doing that thing she often did when she didn't know what to say, wetting her lips as if trying to pull them in, making her dimples pop with suppressed words. Suppressed thoughts. Well, Maura wasn't going to suppress anymore. "You deserve better, too."
With a confused laugh, Jane asked, "What're you talkin' about? Nobody in my family ever chewed me out and then asked for a vital organ."
Later, Maura would wonder if it was the meds freeing her up to be this straightforward: "I don't mean your family. I mean Casey. He doesn't deserve you, Jane. You deserve someone who loves you as much as I do."
Jane was glad she wasn't the one hooked up to a monitor, because she was sure the rapid increased in her heartbeat would've called every medic on staff to the room. "What?" she whispered.
"I don't mean-I... I mean, it doesn't literally have to be me," Maura fumbled. Her heart plummeted when she felt Jane's grip slacken, and she tightened her own. "Wow, I'm realizing how that makes me sound. As if I'm trying to say I somehow deserve anything just because I... all I mean is, you shouldn't waste your time or your energy on someone who doesn't appreciate you. You in your entirety. You deserve someone who wants to write you back the minute you send something. Someone who wants to spend time with you places besides your bed. Someone who's aware there are more ways to give his love to you beyond putting his penis in you. You don't..." She trailed off with a hiss of pain and leaned back on the bed.
"Careful," Jane said softly, leaning over. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?" She put her hand on Maura's waist, hoping to alleviate the pain, but that just made Maura laugh again. "What is it, wrong side?" Jane asked.
"Yes, but also wrong area," Maura said. She took Jane's hand and moved it higher.
"Geez. Right, Detective Dumbass over here," Jane chuckled.
"You're not a dumbass."
"Oh, God," Jane sighed, a tinge of a laugh still left in her. "I am, though. I am. Because if I wasn't, I'd have figured out everything you just said a long time ago. He did finally email me, you know."
"Oh?"
"Mm-hm. Yeah, he's actually gonna be stateside and wanted to hook up this weekend. And I said no. I told him I just wanted to be home."
Sleep was starting to tug at Maura; her eyelids seemed to be weighed down but she fought valiantly to stay awake for this conversation to keep going. "Oh? How'd he take that?"
"Super well." She smiled at getting Maura to laugh. "I wasn't lying, though. I did want to be home. And I am home." It was no longer possible to keep her tears at bay, not when she saw Maura force herself to sit up a little higher, unable to summon the extra strength to speak, only able to mouth the word "what?" Jane went on: "You're my person, Maura. And every reason I had in my way, every excuse I gave for not thinking I could be with you, they were all so stupid. Just like me, Detective Dumbass." She let out a long, shuddering breath. "I hope it wasn't selfish of me to get into all that when you're in this state. And a minute ago when you said it didn't 'literally' have to be you, I hope that meant you were still theoretically an option."
Maura had started nodding before Jane even finished the question. "You're my person," she managed. "Come up here."
"On the bed? Is that...allowed? Both of us up there, I mean?"
"I'm the Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts," Maura whispered. "You'd damn well better believe it's allowed."
Jane didn't wait for her to change her mind. She made quick work of yanking off her boots and clambering onto the bed. It took them a few moments to maneuver themselves into safely sharing the space, and finding positions that weren't going to make someone's limb fall asleep. Jane figured that would end up happening anyway but she didn't care: she couldn't care with Maura curled next to her like this, an arm draped around her stomach. A small, kitten-like yawn preceded Maura's last words for the night: "So much better." She hummed as she fell into a light slumber, still cognizant enough to feel it as Jane left a row of kisses across her forehead.
In the morning, Maura woke up first again. It took a great effort to make sure she didn't disturb Jane when she withdrew to take more medicine, but Jane seemed really out of it this time. Maura spent a few minutes considering her, amazed that her presence and their conversation last night didn't seem to have been conjured by a fever dream. Warmth pooled over her, accompanied by a kind of numb disbelief that after years of dancing around a mutual attraction, they had at last met in the middle in seemingly just a few minutes. She snuggled back in to Jane's side, and that was what at last got Jane to stir. A short, deep moan rumbled from her throat and it made the hair on Maura's neck stand on end in the most exciting of ways. Jane stretched, eyes still closed, and snaked one arm under Maura's shoulders.
"Good morning, I assume?" she yawned.
"The best morning."
Jane smiled, and it grew when Maura pecked the tip of her nose. "Hey, what happened to me not being your type?"
"Well, you're not my blood type, that's true."
At this, Jane opened her eyes and felt wide awake. "Wait, shit, is that what you meant?"
"No," Maura snorted. "It's not. Because you weren't my type. You still kind of aren't what I would consider 'my type,' but I realized maybe that was a good thing. I've been lucky to have some wonderful relationships, but they were never as fulfilling as I hoped they'd be. I didn't think you were my type because we're not compatible in the ways that my previous partners have been compatible with me. But you're compatible to me in different ways, ways I never considered before."
There was a short silence, during which time Jane softly kissed her forehead. "Would it strain your kidneys to elaborate?"
That got a weak laugh out of Maura. With her head buried in Jane's neck, she gave Jane's arm a light slap, then kept her hand in place to trace nondescript patterns. "I've always played it safe with my love life. I like predictability, I like familiarity. You're such a different presence, and I love that. I'm fascinated by you and enamored with you."
"Wow," Jane murmured. "You are unfairly articulate at this hour."
Another silence passed, which Jane had interpreted as a happy, contemplative one until Maura said, "You'd better get articulate fast about your feelings, or I'm going to call in that nurse who hates you."
"Ohhh, you're funny," Jane chuckled. "You're funny, Dr. Isles." She sighed deeply, stroking Maura's arm. "Let's see. It's hard to think in a place like this. I mean, it's hard to think romantically in a place like this."
"If you can flirt with me over a dead body, you can flirt with me in a hospital bed."
That would've earned Maura a poke in the ribs if she wasn't recovering from surgery. "Damn. Touché. Well, I guess I can tell you about the revelation I had a few days ago, when Casey sent me that email. I realized he was exactly the kind of guy my mother told my brothers they shouldn't be. Like, okay. Frankie's first girlfriend was a kid named Jill, a really beautiful girl. But all they did was make out. They might go to a movie or something, but they wouldn't even go get dinner after, they'd just sit in her car and fool around. My mom kinda caught on to the fact that Jill never spent any time with us and that she and Frankie never seemed to go anywhere or do anything, and so this one night she sat down him and Tommy and told them that if they were really interested in having relationships, it had to be about more than finding a good kisser. Having fun was one thing, but being close, like actually close to someone, involved so much more than that." She shrugged as best she could lying down. "Casey was good in bed and we used to be friends, but he kind of cut off every attempt I made to spend time with him outside the bedroom. Communication wasn't important to him. I had just kind of thought, well, he's attracted to me and he doesn't mind the job, so that's..."
"As good as it gets?" Maura guessed.
"Yeah. And all these thoughts just came bubbling up. Thoughts I know I've had for a long time, but been suppressing for dumbass reason after dumbass reason. You're the most important person in my life, Maura. Bar none. What the hell was I doing waiting on some guy who didn't give me the time of day, when you really needed me? I want to be here, Maura, I don't ever want to miss anything again - not your highs, not your lows. When there's an emergency, I want to be on the scene for you. I want you to know you can count on me. You know why I came here last night? Why I fell asleep in a set-up that looked like one of your mother's concept pieces?"
Trembling with emotion, Maura was grateful for the joke. "Why?"
Jane pulled herself away, just enough so that she could prop herself up and meet Maura's gaze. She needed that eye contact, to be sure that everything she said was taken in the spirit with which it was intended; to be sure Maura knew she was being serious. She took Maura's closest hand in both of her own.
"Because you're my best friend. I did not think at all that I'd be brave enough to bring up any of the other things I said last night or this morning. I'm so glad I did, and I am so, so glad that we're on the same page there. But that wasn't what brought me here. I didn't come burning with this need to declare my lov- my feelings for you. That's just something I took away from my Ma's advice: that relationships need to be built on friendships. I've been a shitty friend, and I'm sorry. I need you to know I will never take you for granted again, and that you're my best friend, and that's the current that underlines everything I feel for you."
Tears were leaking from Maura's eyes as she smiled in disbelief, reaching for Jane's face. "So inarticulate."
"Okay, okay, I can dish it out and I can take it."
"Can you take morning breath?"
"If it's yours, absolutely."
Jane leaned down, meeting Maura in a kiss. That sensation, and sharing it with someone she cared about with peerless profound depth, eradicated the possibility of conjuring any snarky comments about breath. There was a complete lack of self-consciousness, something neither of them had quite experienced before with a partner. Nothing could make Jane stop smiling, not even a nurse who came running in to see what had sent Maura's heart rate through the roof. They were soundly chastised, and Jane sat up in hopes of appeasing the woman enough to go away.
"Look at me, I'm already a bad influence on you," Jane snickered once the woman had left.
"Oh, you're dangerous, all right."
Tossing her head back with too-cool flair, Jane whispered, "That's what the kids always said about me."
Maura patted Jane's leg. "Mm. The kids always said I was boring."
"Huh. Y'know, I kinda think you're boring." With a cheesy wink she snatched up Maura's hand and gave it a kiss, pitching her voice as low and sensual as it would go: "Boring your way into my heart."
Overnight, a hospital had become a place for miracles and healing of a kind that Maura never would've envisioned. Even in all her years of fascination with them, she had never smiled this much in one.