Two weeks had passed since Elena learnt that was pregnant; carrying Damon's baby, a man she could never have. She was going to be a single mother, living thousands of miles away from her family.
She'd thought about telling him. She'd thought about it most days.
If she told him then not only would it be harder for her to leave, he might fight her on it, but it'd also make his life harder. He'd never leave Katherine and risk going to jail, so he wouldn't acknowledge his baby. And even if he did and miraculously Katherine was okay with it, Elena wouldn't ever want her baby to be around them as a couple.
She'd also thought about not telling him.
But if she didn't tell him, she'd have to raise a child knowing that she kept him or her from their father. Could she really take that from them and make that awful decision for him?
If there was one thing she was certain of it was that this baby was going to be loved and brought up in a home where he or she would want for nothing. They would be surrounded by love and determination, honesty and kindness. They'd get comfort when they needed it and motivation when they fell behind. And if they were to grow up with one parent or two, it didn't matter because they'd be loved enough.
And for a while, she believed that he deserved to know. He always wanted to be a father and Katherine made it obvious that she'd never give him a baby. Surely, even if he couldn't be in his or her life, he deserved to know that there was a child he created out of love out there.
It wasn't right to keep it from him and if he chose to stay out of the baby's life then that was on him, not her. She could tell their child that their father chose to not get to know them and that she tried.
But on the day before she left for her new life in London, all that changed.
"I really don't need a goodbye party," she whined as Caroline dragged her through the Grille doors. "We could have all just had dinner at mom and dad's house."
"Elena. Stop," Caroline shouted. "You're moving 4,000 miles away from home without warning. The least you can do is pretend to enjoy your goodbye party."
Everyone was there. Miranda and Grayson, Bonnie and Jeremy, Tyler and Hayley, even Matt had managed to take an evening away from work to wish her well. They'd decorated the table with balloons, confetti and presents, a large banner across the wall behind that said 'Bon Voyage!'.
They cheered as she walked up to the table and poured the drinks quickly, bottles of champagne. She was t-total, she told them, under the pretense of not liking to fly with a hangover. They were still none the wiser to the growing bean in her stomach. She'd tried to tell them, wrote plenty of letters and speeches, wracked her brain over all the ways she could break the news to them, but everytime she tried to open her mouth - nothing.
The only one who knew was the bubbly blonde who was showing her off around the family table. Blame it on the hormones, but Elena, through her sobs, told Caroline everything one night after a few glasses of non-alcoholic beer and Chinese food. Reluctantly, she agreed to keep it to herself until Elena was ready to talk.
"I still can't believe it," her dad said as he wrapped his warm and safe arms around her shoulder. "I don't know how I'm going to cope if I can't see your face every day."
"FaceTime, dad," she smiled. "Everyday."
"So," he coughed uncomfortably. "Are you all packed? You've got everything you need sorted?"
"Yep. I have two suitcases to take with me and Jeremy is going to head to my flat tomorrow evening and put the rest of the boxes on the shipping van."
"And you've got your insurance, the directions to your flat and a list of all the numbers you will need in an emergency?" He asked.
"Insurance? What's that?" She joked.
"Ha. Ha," he laughed dryly. "And you're still sure that this is what you want to do? Because it's not too late to change your mind."
"I'm excited, dad," she said honestly. "I need a change. I've got… comfortable."
"Okay," he sighed. "Well I feel better knowing that your uncle John will be in London in three months time. He can check in on you then."
"We've already got a weekend of fun planned, dad. Don't you worry."
He squeezed her shoulder, but she knew it was more for his own comfort than hers. He pulled out a chair for her and slipped behind the table to take his place opposite.
They all fell into a comfortable state, laughing and joking over pointless things. They pulled fun at Jeremy and Matt, they gushed over Bonnie's wedding and they discussed all the things they wanted to do when they visited her in London. It was nice, and for a few hours, it took her mind off all the things she'd be leaving behind.
"Isn't that your old boss?" Jeremy asked from his seat and pointed to the large group of people headinging towards the table next to them. "Is that his missus? Fuck me."
Bonnie nudged him in the ribs as the other guys turned to gawk at Katherine in her tight black dress and stripper heels.
It was the first time seeing Damon since she returned from the trip to London. She'd called in sick for her last two weeks with a doctor's note for stress. He didn't question it or try to get in touch with her, thankfully, but he was probably hurt and angry.
She couldn't think about that. She had to do what was right for her and her baby, and that was avoiding Damon Salvatore at all costs until she knew exactly what to say to him.
She watched as he sat down at the table next to them, not yet noticing her presence.
Her heart skipped a few beats as she ran her eyes over him, dressed in a fitted, three-piece suit. His hair fell perfectly over his brows and his eyes…
His eyes when they finally locked with hers made every nerve in her body shiver.
While he looked perfectly fine and normal to everyone else, she saw that the fire behind his eyes had burnt out and the determination in his veins had run dry.
"If you don't tell him tonight, Elena," Caroline whispered. "Then when will you do it?"
"I can't. I can't do it. It's too painful."
"He deserves to know that he's going to be a father and if he chooses to let his baby grow up without a dad, that's on him," she said. "Don't take the blame for him. Let him make that decision, not you."
Elena knew her best friend was right and, if she was honest, she had been putting off telling him to avoid running back into his arms. But Caroline was right, he deserved to know. She wasn't going to keep a baby from him. So, she pulled out her phone and wrote a text:
I need you to know something. Meet me at the lake when you're finished? - E
She pressed send and watched, from the corner of her eye, him pull out his phone from his suit pocket.
He didn't respond but she took the subtle nod of his head as a yes.
Caroline held her hand tightly for the rest of their family meal. While she tried to get involved with their conversations and answer their questions about her new life, all she could hear was the speech she was about to give Damon on repeat.
"Where are you going?" Katherine asked through her yawn as he reached for his coat and car keys.
"My mother left her phone in my car," he lied. "I better take it back to her. You know what she's like, can't cope if she doesn't check Facebook every twenty minutes."
"Ah," Katherine laughed. "Well I am going to bed. I'm constantly tired, and can barely keep my eyes open."
He smiled as best he could and leaned in to press his hands against her warm stomach. A cruel twist of fate, he thought to himself, and the straw that broke the camel's back.
"I won't be long."
"Drive safely, baby," she purred and reached up to place a gentle peck on his lips.
He closed the front door behind him and smacked the 'For Sale' sign as he walked past and to his car.
When he climbed into the seat, it took him a few minutes to pluck up the courage to close the car door. He hadn't seen Elena since the flight home and she rushed out of the airport before he had the chance to say goodbye. The next thing he knew, she had emailed a doctor's letter stating she'd be off work for two weeks due to stress. Of course, he expected nothing less. If he was in her shoes then he wouldn't have come to work either, but a small part of him really hoped that she needed to see him just as much as needed to see her.
Things, in some ways, had gotten better at home (to onlookers anyway). Katherine was more loving and appeared genuinely happy, she hadn't mentioned Vicki once nor had she bought up his drunken mistake. In fact, the Katherine he'd been living with for the past two weeks was reminiscent of the woman he met when they were just teenagers.
He drove twenty minutes towards the lake, wondering what Elena could have to say to him the night before she left for good. And what would he say to her? He couldn't do the things he wanted to, not now, not now so much had changed. There was more now, more things that he had to be around for and he couldn't risk it this time. There was too much he just wasn't in control of.
He pulled up under a couple of trees and followed the dirt path down to the jetty, a place very few people knew about. He'd brought Elena there one night to watch a comet, it was the best seat in the whole town. They'd eaten a picnic under the stars and watched the comet fly past before making love at the end of the jetty. He'd go as far to say it was the best night of his life.
As he came to the bottom of the steep hill, he saw her standing at the very end of the wooden jetty, near the middle of the lake skimming pebbles across the water, something he tried to teach her to do that night.
Every step he took against the rotting wood, he noticed her body stiffen until she had the courage to turn and face him.
"Hi," she whispered.
"Hi."
God, he thought. She looked more beautiful than ever. She was glowing. Her eyes, her skin, her hair and her smile all seemed to beam brighter than ever. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull her into his arms, lie her down and remind her how good they felt together the last time they were there.
"I thought you weren't going to come," she shrugged.
"I had to take Katherine home," he said. "She thinks I'm taking my mother's phone back."
"I won't keep you long. I just need to talk to you before I go tomorrow."
He felt uncomfortable. He never had a problem with knowing what to say around Elena. He could talk to her for years without taking a breath, but this time, he couldn't find the right words no matter how hard he tried.
"Are you ready? For London, I mean." He asked as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "The weather is supposed to be good for the next couple of weeks. Kol is excited to see you and I've heard the flat they've put you up in is one of the best."
He was rambling.
"Yeah," she smiled. "I think I'm ready for a new adventure. A bit scared, too."
He wanted to hold her or at least beg her to stay, but that was selfish and it'd be futile to even try. He couldn't be with her. They couldn't be together. They were destined to fall apart and if she hadn't ended it in London, then he'd have had to end it once they returned home.
She needs to know, he thought, You've got to tell her.
So much had changed in the past two weeks and while he wasn't 100% onboard with it all, he had to step-up and bite the bullet. And Elena deserved to know.
"Damon, I have been wondering how to tell you this for a while now and I've gone over it in my head. Over and over and over, I've tried to think of the right words," she said. "But there aren't any right ways to say it and so I just want you to know-"
"Katherine's pregnant," he said bluntly, cutting her off mid breath.
"What?"
"Katherine is pregnant, 'Lena. We're having a baby," he said with a deep breath and unable to look her in the eyes as he said. "She's about seven weeks along. She told me after we landed back from London."
"Seven weeks?" Elena stuttered. The same as her, she thought. "You got her pregnant."
He stood in silence and it was clear to her that this wasn't an easy thing for him to do. But it was probably still harder to hear it.
It was that moment that Elena decided that Damon didn't need to know that she was carrying his baby. Because let's face it, she thought, her child would never get the life that Katherine's was going to get. Her baby would always have to compete and that wasn't something she was willing to put their child through.
"Are you sure?" She scoffed as anger began to bubble in her veins. "It's not some sort of blackmail to keep you after she found you'd been fucking your assistant?"
"She showed me the test," he said.
"Fuck," Elena snapped. "Fuck. Of course she's pregnant. Of course she is because why the fuck not?"
"'Lena, if I had a choice-"
"Was any of it real, Damon?" She said, "What we had, was any of it real or was it just a way to have your cake and eat it too? Did I mean anything to you?"
He reached forward, cupping her face tightly in his hands. The first couple of raindrops began to fall, smashing against them like tiny shards of glass.
"You. Us. What we had, it was the most real thing I've ever felt," he said.
"You promise?"
He slowly leant in and rested his cold lips against her forehead as the rain started to pour. She gripped his shirt tightly in her fists and allowed herself to cry against him.
"I promise," he whispered.
She softly pulled away from him and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.
"So this is really goodbye then?" She said, more so to herself than him.
"I guess so."
She tucked her hair behind her ears and straightened out her jacket. It was time to go, she told herself. It was time to end the movie.
"Have a good life, Damon," she said. "You'll be a wonderful father."
"Thanks," he tried to smile. "Be happy, 'Lena."
She squeezed his arm as she walked past. Taking a deep breath, she mustered all her strength and power to burst into tears and beg him to come with her. Her dad always said that just because something feels right, it doesn't mean that it's not wrong.
"What did you want to tell me?" He called out before she got to the end of the jetty. "You said you had something to say."
"Oh," she frowned. That. "I—I—"
"'Lena?"
"I just thought you deserved to know that I don't hate you," she said. "I didn't want to leave thinking you thought I hated you."
He smiled and nodded, glancing back over his shoulder at the water and the flash of lightning that hit the field behind them.
"You promise?" He mimicked her previous question.
"Yeah," she said. "I promise."
The gate for her flight to Heathrow had finally opened and the lady over the speaker called for all passengers to head down and get ready to board.
Elena turned to her best friend and reached out for one last cuddle. Everybody else had said goodbye at home over a fancy breakfast but Caroline wanted to be the one who saw her off and gave her the final cuddle.
"So what's the plan?" She asked. "Are you just going to show up on Grayson's doorstep in nine months time with a baby?"
"I haven't thought that far yet," Elena replied. "I"ll tell them soon. One thing at a time, Caroline."
"They deserve to know that they're going to be grandparents. Don't take that from them, okay? Please make sure you tell them," Caroline pleaded. "You know they won't judge you."
"And when they ask who the father is?"
"You're a modern woman," she laughed. "I'm sure they'll understand."
"I know they will. I'm just not ready yet," Elena smiled sadly as she held her palm flat against her stomach.
Caroline wrapped her long slender arms around her best friend and squeezed as tightly as she possibly could - she was ready to pop herself.
"I can't believe you're not going to be here for the birth," Caroline moaned. "I kinda needed you for that."
"You'll be fine! You're going to be a wonderful mother, Caroline."
"So will you," she whispered. "Call me everyday, okay? I want to know about every doctor's appointment, every scan, kick and sleepless night."
Elena looked over her shoulder as the lady on the speaker called for all passengers to Heathrow once again. She shrugged and picked her bag from the floor. Her leg began to shake as realisation finally set in.
"How am I going to do this without you?" She cried. "I've made such a mess of things."
"You fell in love, Elena, and love, well, it's not easy even when it is."
"Why couldn't I have just chosen Liam? Why did I have to fall in love with the wrong person?"
"Who said you did?" Caroline questioned.
"Caroline."
"I'm being serious. Elena, you fell in love with the right person, the perfect person for you," she said. "It's right, it's just not right now."
"Yeah," Elena breathed. "I better go. I've got a plane to catch."
They gave each other one last hug, a long one that said more words than a conversation ever could. When they pulled away, Elena turned on her heels and forced herself to make the long walk to gate three, where she'd board her plane to a new life 4,000 miles away.
She took a deep breath or two as she managed to put one foot after the other towards a new life, a new start and the rare opportunity to start again.
Unbeknownst to them, two broken eyes watched on from a distance. Hoping, wishing and praying for her to change her mind and stay.
He watched her take each step from a distance and with every one, he felt her get further and further from his grasp.
He didn't know why he was there or what he expected to do once he got there. Part of him was ready to tell her not to leave and he'd give everything up to keep her, but when she saw her laugh with Caroline, he realised that he was being selfish, and he had been since the moment he first met her.
Well, he couldn't be selfish with her anymore. He loved her too much to be selfish and while it killed him inside, he had to let her go.
He turned to leave before Caroline could see him, or even worse, for Elena to turn around and latch eyes on him.
He peered down at the flowers in his hand before dropping them in a trash can beside him.
A/N - a few of you guessed that Katherine was going to pass the positive test of as her own! Shit's going down. Bye!