Chapter 23: Two Important Men

Edward POV:

Kissing Bella again after months of agony, after months of waiting and after months of regret was the gateway to my personal heaven. It released a primal feeling in me, and my world only existed of us two. Kissing Bella here, in the forest behind our school, was the perfect spot to secure our relationship again. In this exact spot, she told me she did not want to talk to any of us. And in this exact spot, she asked me to kiss her.

Once she gave me a gentle kiss on my lips, the feelings I had for her only strengthened the beliefs that this was the place where I belonged. I grabbed her face as I needed to feel her. I needed to feel the warmth of her blush to assure myself this wasn´t my imagination playing tricks on me. As I kissed her and she kissed me back, nothing else mattered anymore.

Once she had opened her lips to welcome me, I instinctively backed off. I was afraid the monster had returned, the monster that would long for her blood. But I was pleased to notice the burning feeling in my throat wasn't as potent as it once was. It was still there, but instead of a burn, it felt more like a tickle. A tickle I could ignore very easily. I was debating with myself if I should try to deepen our kiss or not.

And then she sealed her faith by licking my bottom lip. I wanted her. I've wanted to taste her for so long, always afraid of hurting her by accident. Now that I knew the monster in me backed off, I allowed myself to deepen our kiss.

I made sure she could not reach my razor-sharp teeth, teeth that could harm her. I reached out and tasted her bottom lip for the first time, immediately knowing I wanted more. No, I needed more. My own personal brand of heroin, and I could not get enough.

I suddenly felt the venom bottling up and I tried to swallow it back while kissing her. It did not work, so I had to pull myself away from Bella to swallow. Her breathing was heavy and her heart did somersaults in her chest. If I could have physical reactions, they would have matched hers. Even I was out of breath by our first kiss.

Afterwards, we desperately clung to each other again. Kissing Bella became easier and I knew I had enough self-restraint to contain the beast inside of me. Bella´s desperation matched mine and we spent each second of our lunch break in this forest until it was time to leave. We both didn't want to stop kissing the other, but I was sure it was the first kiss of many more.

We walked back hand in hand and I could not think about anything else than Bella. I didn't even notice Jacob Black standing next to a motorcycle until I heard him call her name.

´Bells?´

I felt Bella turn around to see where that sound came from. She saw Jacob and I saw her smile as a reaction to it.

´Jake?´ Bella asked, surprised to see him standing there. She tugged at our intertwined hands and made sure we both walked over to Jacob.

´Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? How in the world did Billy allow you to drive a motorcycle? Wasn't that your punishment?´ she enthusiastically said to him before she realised me and Jacob weren't formally introduced to each other yet. ´Jake, this is Edward. And Edward, this is Jake.´ She looked at the both of us, anticipating how we could react to the other. We both were two important men in her life and we both knew it.

´Jacob,´ I nodded. I kept looking at him, irritated by the fact that I could not hear his thoughts. Alice was right, she could not see his future either and it was mildly irritating. I really wanted to know what he was thinking and what his feelings towards Bella were. I hadn't forgotten about their kiss and I wanted to know what that meant for him.

´Edward,´ Jacob responded. The look he was giving me spoke volumes; it was a look of pure anger.

Silence.

´Well, this is rather awkward,´ Bella mumbled. ´Jake, motorcycle. Please explain.´ She turned to him, partially begging him to talk with her to end this awkward exchange between us.

It took a second for Jacob to turn his gaze away from me and focus his attention on Bella instead. ´Simple, after our accident, Dad realised that I was always very careful on a motorcycle, so he allowed me to drive one again and he ended my punishment. I´m a free man now, baby,´ he winked at her.

Jacob mentioning the accident so casually sent my mind into overdrive. How could he speak so casually about that? The moments I thought Bella wouldn't wake up were the most angsty moments of my life. And he was also partially the reason for her ending up in the hospital. The rational part of me told me that wasn´t the case at all and Jacob was not to blame for that accident, but I needed someone to blame and he was standing right in front of me.

Also, why did he call Bella, my Bella, baby? I hadn't heard that pet name before, why did he call her that?

´Are you here for a ride then, handsome?´ Bella asked him.

Wait a minute, handsome? What was going on? With the hand I was holding Bella´s, I gently stroked her thumb and I heard her heartbeat stutter. At least that had not changed in the last 5 minutes or so. Then what was this? This flirtation? In front of me?

´I wanted to invite you, yes. I know you need to get to your classes now,´ he smiled at her. She happily squealed and could not hold in her excitement. Bella glanced over to me and seeing my angry posture made her face fall.

´I… I would love to, Jake,´ Bella said to him, suddenly unsure why my mood was so drastically different. ´Pick me up after school? My car´s still here.´ She glanced over to the parking lot.

´Will do. Laters Bells,´ Jacob gave her a quick hug.

´See you, Jake,´ Bella happily returned the hug and let go of my hand. My skin instantly ached for her touch and I watched them hugging each other. I had to tell myself they were friends and I had no reason to react the way I did but damn it. Could they please stop already?

They let go of each other and Jacob nodded in my direction before he drove off.

´What was that?´ Bella, observant as ever, asked me angrily. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and demanded an answer.

´I don't know what he's thinking, Bella. It's driving me nuts,´ I explained to her.

´Then why are you this angry? You also don't know what I´m thinking.´

I signed. ´That's different.´

´It's really not, Edward. What's your problem?´

´Well, I don´t know, Bella. Maybe my problem is the fact that you´re going to ride on a motorcycle with him. And I don't know what he's thinking so I don't know what you are to him. And you both kissed. And he calls you ´baby.´ I don't know what to make of this.´ I looked at Bella who was growing impatient with me.

´Give me a break, Edward. We´re friends. And friends are friendly with each other.´ She took a step in my direction. ´And I want to go on a ride with him, so I don´t exactly appreciate your tone right now.´

´But it could be dangerous, Bella, please.´ I tried to grab her hand again but she wouldn't let me.

´Edward, what do you want me to do? Never do anything dangerous because there might be a slight possibility something could go wrong? Lock me up already then.´ She rolled her eyes at me.

´You´re not being fair,´ I pleaded with her. ´I just try to look out for you. You know how much you mean to me. If something goes wrong, I can never forgive myself.´

´Edward, don't be like that. It's just a ride and you're smothering me right now. You can´t be in control all the time.´ Her words hit like daggers because I knew deep down there was some truth in them. If I could ´lock´ Bella up in the woods where we spend every second of everyday kissing, I would do it. And a year ago, if I would ask Bella to not do anything too reckless, she would also do it. She had changed whereas I had not.

´You´re right…,´ I told her. Bella became a bit calmer at my confession. ´I'm smothering you and I´m jealous, I know. But don´t you think I have a reason for that? I mean, you both kissed and are calling each other pet names. What do I make of that?´

Bella was lost in thought for a second. ´What could you see of our kiss? What did Alice show you?´ She asked me.

´I don't really want to relive it,´ I sheepishly explained to her.

That did not sit right with her. ´Try at least,´ she said.

And I thought hard about the kiss. How she clung to Jacob, how she desperately fought for his attention and how agitated she seemed. Her hands tucked at his shirt, pulling him closer to her. As close as possible. I had to shiver as the mental image left a bad taste in my mouth.

´Well?´ Bella asked me.

´Alice showed me the kiss, nothing more,´ I said to her. With Jacob in the picture, both Alice and I had trouble painting a full mental image of what had happened as he blocked our abilities.

Holy shit, there would be more, wouldn't it?

´So she did not let you see him pulling away? She did not let you see me crying afterwards? Or our little fight before the kiss? Me begging Jake not to leave me? Leave me as well, dare I say?´ Bella continued, a harsh tone in her voice I had not yet heard before.

´What do you mean, Bella?´ I asked her, afraid of her response.

She laughed and it wasn´t the light, cheerful sound that it normally was. Instead, it was a humourless little whimper and I prepared myself for the impact her words had on me.

´I was afraid he would leave me, just as you did. So, I tried to make him stay by kissing him. Satisfied?´ She raised an eyebrow and I felt my mouth drop open.

I thought only of one little sentence.

You did this. You did this. You did this.

This new revelation was a billion times worse than I had ever anticipated.

´Bella…,´ I tried to reach out to her. I had hurt her so much and I hoped and prayed I could ever make it right again. This time, she accepted my hand and held it in hers.

´It's alright, Edward. It's in the past. So, you don't have to be jealous about that kiss. It wasn't exactly an act of passion.´ She kept looking at something behind me as her mind drifted off.

´Anyway, we should get going, don´t want to be late for class.´

´Bella, please…,´ I tried to make her stay with me here, tried to explain my reasoning in more detail but she shut me out.

´Leave it, let's go.´

And she turned around and left, leaving me behind while wondering about all the things I had done wrong to her.

My next lesson was with Alice, lucky me. I sat down and she instantly started.

So, I saw you guys kiss… And after that, everything became blurry, what happened? Alice almost jumped out of her seat with how happy she was bouncing up and down.

I hissed back at her. ´Jacob Black came, that´s what happened.´

Alice turned to face me. What's wrong?

Bella will go with him after school and I became protective of her. She was mad at me.´

Why would you get jealous?

´I don´t know, Alice. Maybe, because you showed me they kissed, that's why?! I can't read his damn mind so I don´t know what Bella means to him.´ I hissed a bit too loud, as I saw Mike Newton who was sitting in front of us looking up to see where the sudden sound came from.

Alice rolled her eyes at me. And the fact she basically clung to you like a drowning woman to a buoy five minutes before that didn't even cross your mind?

´I just don't know, Alice.´

And that's new to you. Listen, Edward, the feeling that you have right now might be new to you and that's alright. You´ve never felt this way to anyone before so I can partly excuse your rude behaviour. But, it's clear Jacob means a lot to Bella. You have to accept that he's also important to her.

I signed. ´Can´t you just at least tell me if she´ll get an accident, please?´

Alice laughed. No can do, brother. You need to let her go a little bit, let her make her own decisions and mistakes. You can't always be there for her, even if you want to be.

This time, it was my turn to raise my eyebrows at her. ´Since when have you become such an expert, Allie?

She smirked back at me in response. Since someone needs to be and you´re basically ruining everything if I won´t interfere.

´I can't deny that...´

Bella POV:

Stupid Edward. First, he kissed me back and then he acted like a total dick towards Jake. That poor Jake. Although, he wasn't exactly the friendliest I had ever seen him either. Might have a little word with him later. I mean, what kind of show was that anyway? They just stared at each other! And Edward claimed to be jealous, as if!

´What's wrong, Bella?´ Jessica whispered to me.

I stopped my inner monologue, aggressively accusing both Edward and Jacob of horrible behaviour towards the other to face Jessica.

´You've been quiet and angry during the whole lesson. Are you alright?´ Jessica continued.

I closed my eyes for a second. I knew Edward could listen in on our conversation, so I made sure it was worth the spectacle.

´Edward and I kissed...´ I started. Jessica´s eyes lit up with excitement until she put the pieces together of the kiss and my attitude right now.

´Isn't that a good thing, I don´t understand?´

´Oh Jess, it's a wonderful thing. It was literally the best kiss I could have ever gotten. I felt amazing. Everything around me disappeared and the only thing that mattered to me were me and Edward. We were the only people on earth. Literally, if there would have been a bomb exploding or something, I would have never noticed since I was so lost in that kiss. I needed that kiss like I needed oxygen to breathe.´

There Edward, there you have it. I hope you are listening to this, stupid shit that you are. Jessica was confused.

´That sounds amazing, I´m so happy for the two of you. But then I don't understand what´s wrong?´

´Oh, that's not all. So we were walking back, right? Holding hands, everything was fine. And guess who showed up? Jake!´

I waited to see if my message got the desired effect. It worked, Jessica´s eyes got bigger and she grasped.

´Continue!´ She demanded. I smiled at her eagerness.

´Jake asked me to ride a motorcycle with him after school. So of course, I wanted it. But before that, I introduced them to each other and they were both so rude. They basically didn't say anything to the other. So Jake left and Edward was jealous. Really jealous. And it bothered me. And that's why I´m mad.´ I smiled at myself. Take that, Edward Cullen!

´I don´t understand, why was he jealous? I mean, you and Jacob are just friends, right? And I can imagine you made sure Edward knows that.´ Jessica asked me. Wait a minute, this conversation wasn't supposed to go in this direction.

´We might have kissed once,´ I weakly explained to her.

Jessica looked surprised at me. ´And you didn't even care to tell me?´

I avoided her stare. ´Edward knows about the kiss and Jake rejected me. That's why I didn't want you to know.´ I didn't want to elaborate any further. I hoped and I prayed Edward wasn't listening to us right now. But who was I kidding? Of course, he was.

´So, let me get this straight. You kiss Edward. You come back and find your best friend waiting for you. Or dare I say, male best friend since obviously me and Angela are your besties, right? So anyway, you see your male best friend whom you kissed. And your ex and maybe current boyfriend stands right next to you while you eagerly make plans with your best friend. And the ex reacts with jealousy to that. And you think that's weird? Bella, Bella, Bella… Cut Edward some slack.´ Jessica started laughing and I tried to reason with her.

´Jess, be quiet,´ I whispered to her.

´Eddy boy has some reason to be jealous, let me tell you that. If Owen had kissed a girl and he is constantly around her, I would for sure be jealous about that. Even if that girl rejected him. Think about that, babe,´ she winked at me and I was flabbergasted.

I had never thought about it like that. Was I in the wrong all along? Edward told me he only saw the kiss, not the aftermath. So he never knew why I kissed Jacob and how he reacted to it. He simply didn´t know. Because I´ve never told him.

So he might have a little reason to be jealous. Might. I still needed him to understand how important Jacob was to me. And Jacob needed to understand how important Edward will be again. They did not have to become friends, but I hoped they would tolerate each other. I needed them to tolerate the other.

When the school had ended, I figured I could tell Jacob all about Edward in order to understand him a bit better. I was still debating how I could approach the topic when I heard the familiar sound of a motorcycle engine. He stopped in front of me, grabbed a helmet for me and offered it to me.

´Hey, loca, ready for a ride?´ Jacob smiled at me.

I grabbed the helmet. ´Born ready,´ I said as I climbed behind him. I did not make any eye contact with Edward as we drove away, afraid I wouldn't go through with my original plan if I let myself linger in his stare for too long.

We drove out of the parking lot. I sometimes closed my eyes, and let myself enjoy this peaceful moment where I was alone with Jake and simply enjoyed the scenery, the wind through my hair and the excitement of riding a bike.

For some reason, I could not picture myself doing this with Edward. No, this would be way too threatening for him, I guess. I smiled, Edward was always so concerned for me. Jacob naturally also was afraid something would happen to me, but something as harmless as riding a bike wasn't one of the things he was afraid of.

It's so weird to think that two of the most important men in my life were so different.

We stopped at the side of the forest. I looked up, and I noticed I did not recognise this place.

´Aren't we going any further?´ I asked Jacob.

´You need to go back to pick up your car, remember? And I´m afraid that if I wait any longer, I will lose my courage. So hop on off.´ We both got off the bike and I turned around to face Jacob. Something that he said did not sit right with me.

´Lose your courage for what?´

He signed and put both his hands in his hair. ´Remember when you kissed me? I told you I was having an off day and you kept talking about the Cullens. And that annoyed me. Do you remember that?´

I nodded in response.

´I was annoyed, because… Well… I'm a werewolf, Bella.´

It's so weird to think that two of the most important men in my life weren't so different after all.