Then I Feel Your Hand in Mine (And There's Courage in My Heart)
1
Weiss knew something was wrong even if Ruby wouldn't admit it.
As far as Weiss could tell, after all of the planning and arrangements she and the others had made, the dance had gone off without a hitch. Everyone seemed to have had plenty of fun, and JNPR's impromptu dance spectacle had been the highlight of the night.
Weiss had noticed when Ruby slipped away, but she had expected it. Ruby was very clear about how social functions like these made her uncomfortable, and after Mercury had made her so uneasy earlier, even though Weiss had rescued her from that situation, she knew that Ruby would probably leave sooner rather than later.
But something else must have happened to leave Ruby in this state.
When Weiss entered their dorm room, she was alone. Yang had convinced Blake, Neptune, and Sun to go to an afterparty, but personally, Weiss had been wiped out. All she wanted was to go to bed.
However, seeing Ruby changed that.
Ruby was sitting on Weiss's bed, already changed into her pajamas, but surprisingly still awake. It was Ruby's expression that really caught her attention. Ruby stared down at her fidgeting hands, her face scrunched up in worry and her eyes a million miles away.
"Ruby?" Weiss paused as Ruby jolted and looked up at her like a deer in headlights. "Is… is everything okay?"
She wasn't sure why she was asking that, when things clearly weren't, but she'd been working on being a better friend and this is what Ruby would ask if things were reversed.
Ruby's mouth opened and closed a few times before she finally said, "Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine."
Weiss frowned and narrowed her eyes at her. She didn't know how far she should push. "Did something happened?"
"I'm…" Ruby refused to look at her. "I don't know if I can say."
Meaning that something could be tying her hands in this regard.
Weiss sighed and decided to let it go for now. Ruby was a terrible liar, and she'd probably tell her when she was ready. "All right."
She instead went through her nightly routine, slipping into her own pajamas and taking off her make-up, but she kept a close eye on Ruby the entire time. Her partner just kept sitting there, looking lost.
Part of her wished Yang were here. If she was, she'd know exactly how to handle this or at least give Ruby a hug. The sisters thrived on such physical affection and were excellent at comforting each other.
Comfort was not something any Schnee was well versed with, and physical affection was not something Weiss was comfortable with herself. Sure, she found herself accepting Ruby's hugs and friendly pats, but it was a process and Weiss wasn't sure how to extend such offers to someone else.
Though maybe there was something she could give.
Weiss cleared her throat as she walked back to her bed, making Ruby jump again. Once she was sure Ruby's attention was on her, she spoke, "I won't ask you what's wrong again, but I do expect an answer. Eventually." She raised a hand as Ruby started to protest. "However, I can tell that something's wrong."
Ruby sighed. "Yeah… I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry." Weiss snapped, and then immediately reeled back her tone at Ruby's contrite expression.
Why was she so bad at this?
"Look, just—" She growled and held out her hand. "I'm not good with hugs, but if you need some comfort, then I will hold your hand!"
Ruby blinked at her for what felt like a minute before she burst into giggles, her face now crinkling up in an entirely different way.
Weiss huffed, but didn't comment as this was a much preferable state for Ruby to be in.
Ruby's laughter finally died down as she wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. "Thanks, Weiss, I needed that." She smiled up at her, and though it wasn't as big as her usual grin, Weiss would accept it.
"I'm guessing if you're fine, then you no longer—" Weiss moved to withdraw her hand, but Ruby grabbed it and tugged her down to sit beside her.
"No! No! I'll take it!"
The two of them sat next to each other, just holding hands, and slowly Weiss could feel the tension drain from Ruby's body.
"Thanks, Weiss." Ruby said again, leaning her head on Weiss's shoulder.
"You're welcome."
When Blake and Yang finally returned in the wee hours of the morning, they found Weiss and Ruby sleeping together on Weiss's bed, hands still clasped together.
2
Yang Xiao Long was many things.
She was loud, bright, confident, hotheaded, and extremely physical whether with her affection or her attacks. She could be a bit brutish with her preference for letting her fists do the talking…
But one thing that she was not was unnecessarily violent.
Weiss stared in shock along with the rest of the crowd at Yang's unprovoked attack on Mercury. Even as the security teams surrounded her, Yang just looked around in confusion as if she had no clue what was going on.
It didn't make any sense.
"What?" Ruby's eyes darted all over the scene, clearly unable to believe it. "Yang?" Her hands curled into fists, her knuckles white from how hard she was squeezing them.
Blake was completely still and silent next to her, her eyes wide at the sight.
As the security team hauled Yang away, Ruby leapt to her feet. "Yang!"
Weiss stood as well, though she also took Ruby's hands and slowly unfurled them. She gave them a soft squeeze. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this." She declared, pulling Ruby with her so they could follow their teammate.
"Yeah, of course." Ruby's voice was trembling though, and that just made Weiss walk even faster, ignoring the jeers and boos of the crowd.
Blake was still behind them, as silent as a shadow.
Without any of them knowing, the end had already begun.
3
Weiss couldn't sleep.
They may have won, but between the battle and nearly dying at the hands of Cinder, Weiss found that she couldn't lay down and settle her mind.
It was somewhat irritating.
In order to not wake up Yang, whose day had been nearly as harrowing as hers, with having to deal with her mother and face Blake's return, Weiss decided to leave their shared bedroom. The longer she spent rolling back and forth in bed, the more annoyed she'd become and at least one of them deserved a good night's rest.
She wandered for a bit before walking through the training room and finally sitting on the back porch.
Weiss sighed and closed her eyes, leaning against one of the porch's pillars.
She was exhausted down to her bones. She'd been fine in the moment, with Jaune's Aura bolstering her and the adrenaline rush from all the fighting, but now that things were quiet she just wanted to sleep for maybe a week.
Her mind wouldn't let her though. Every time she closed her eyes to go to sleep, it felt like she was drifting away once again. Fading away like a snowflake melting in her hand.
It had been too close.
If Jaune hadn't activated his Semblance when he did, Weiss would undoubtedly be dead.
It had taken all of her willpower, through the pain of being impaled, to hold on to the barest strands of consciousness, of life. But her grip had been weakening much too quickly for her liking, and a few seconds more…
Weiss groaned, running her hand down her face before opening her eyes and gazing up at the broken moon.
It wasn't the first time she'd nearly died, most certainly wouldn't be the last, but this was the closest to the brink she'd ever come.
Weiss twitched as she barely heard the footfalls coming up behind her. She sighed, "I can hear you."
She turned and wasn't surprised to see Ruby standing in the doorway. Ruby's eyes practically glowed under the light of the moon and they didn't stray from her for a second.
Weiss tried to give her a small smile. "Come here." She patted the spot next to her.
Ruby hesitated for a moment, but then she slowly walked over and joined Weiss.
Weiss frowned.
She'd never seen Ruby move so slowly, but ever since they'd met up again, it was as if something was weighing the formally light-hearted girl down. Of course, she couldn't blame her for some of that — after all, everything to do with the Fall of Beacon and the deaths of two of their closest friends was traumatizing — but it felt like Ruby was purposefully closing herself off. That she was taking up too much of the burden of this fight. That she was refusing to rely on her teammates when they were right there for her.
"Hey," Weiss asked softly, her eyes flitting up and down Ruby, "are you okay?"
Ruby gave a small, wet snort. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
Weiss's frown deepened. "I'm all right now." She reassured her. "My wound is completely healed now."
Sure, she was left with another scar, but it could've been much worse.
Ruby's gaze drifted down to Weiss's side before slowly coming back up to meet Weiss's eyes. "I know." But there was something in her voice that was setting off alarms in Weiss's brain.
Weiss narrowed her eyes at Ruby. There was only one thing she could think that tone implied, but she knew Ruby was smarter than that. "You know it's not your fault, right?"
Ruby immediately glanced away which only proved Weiss's theory.
She groaned. "Ruby, look at me." She waited until Ruby looked back at her. "This is not your fault."
"But—"
"Ah, ah, ah." Weiss placed a finger on Ruby's lips, silencing her. "No buts. The only people to blame for this are me and Cinder."
Ruby gaped at her. "What?" She barely seemed to remember to keep her voice low to not wake the others. "Why would this be your fault?"
"I should've been paying more attention to my surroundings." Weiss shrugged and looked away. "I was so caught up with my battle with Vernal, letting her reduce my Aura and focusing more on trying to summon my Knight, that I forgot to note what else was going on."
It was a nearly fatal mistake that could've cost her everything. Weiss was more out of practice than she cared to admit after being locked away and only able to work on her summoning. It was an oversight she intended to rectify as soon as possible.
Besides, she had learned at Beacon that you should check on your teammates during battle so you could support them if need be, and she had clearly failed to do that.
"It wasn't your fault!" Ruby insisted. "It's not your fault that you assumed everyone else was doing okay! Jaune was supposed to handle Cinder. It's not like you asked her to target you!"
"Then couldn't you say the same about yourself?" Weiss raised an eyebrow, her response stopping Ruby in her tracks. "Actually, you were unconscious, so you have even less reason to be at fault."
Ruby slumped at that, and Weiss wondered if that made things better or worse.
"In any case," Weiss continued, "if you ever need to talk, just know that we are here for you. We want to help you, Ruby, but we can't do that if you don't let us in."
Ruby frowned. Weiss wasn't sure if what she was saying, what she really meant, was getting through.
She wanted to help Ruby. She wanted to be there for her just like she tried to be there for everyone else. She wanted Ruby to rely on her as a friend, teammate, partner, and…
Weiss wondered if maybe there was something she could do that'd help them both.
"Can I hold your hand?" Weiss asked.
Ruby blinked at her and squinted, clearly trying to figure out her goal, but she acquiesced, taking Weiss's hand into her own.
Ruby's hand was warm and bigger than hers, completely engulfing it as their fingers intertwined. They'd held hands for a while in the battle's aftermath, but for some reason, now that it was just the two of them, it felt even more satisfying.
"See? Putting aside everything else, I'm still here." Weiss said, choosing to look at their hands instead of Ruby's face. "I'm still alive, okay?"
"Okay." Ruby's voice trembled and her hand tightened around Weiss's.
Weiss sighed and leaned against Ruby's shoulder. She almost couldn't believe that Ruby was officially taller than her now, even with her heels on, but she was grateful for it now. She was just the right height to lean on.
"I'm here for you, Ruby." Weiss closed her eyes. "So when you want to talk, let me know."
It was so quiet that part of Weiss wondered if Ruby had fallen asleep. She knew that she was heading that way herself.
However, she heard a small, "Thanks, Weiss," as she finally slept.
And with Ruby's warm hand anchoring her, she was in no danger of drifting away.
4
Tomorrow they'd be stealing an airship.
And then they'd finally arrive at Atlas.
Weiss's home.
The place she ran away from.
The place where her father would, without a doubt, be waiting for her to crawl back.
Weiss ignored the way her hands trembled as she washed the dishes left over from supper. She'd needed something to concentrate on other than their impending departure, and given how gracious Saphron and Terra had been as hosts, it was the least she could do.
However, it wasn't helping as much as she thought it would. After all, what would her father say if he knew that she knew how to wash dishes, much less actually washed them like some sort of peasant?
"Weiss?"
She jumped at the sound of her name, the plate in her hands splashing back into the water with a muffled clatter. She turned her glare on Ruby as she sheepishly rubbed her neck at the kitchen's entrance.
"Oops?" Ruby shrugged.
Weiss rolled her eyes and got back to work. She didn't acknowledge the other girl again, even as she came to lean against the counter next to her, until the last of the dishes were done and drying. Then she dried off her hands, rolled down her sleeves, and turned to her partner with a single eyebrow raised.
Ruby took her cue to talk. "Nervous about tomorrow?"
Weiss leaned against the counter as well. "That's not the word I'd use."
She wasn't quite sure what word was most appropriate. She wouldn't say that she was nervous or scared or anything like that.
There was just something, down in the very core of her, that was telling her that nothing good would come from going to Atlas.
However, since the feeling most likely came from the thought of having to face her family, she couldn't give it as a valid argument against going. Especially not when so much was at stake.
Sure, something would go wrong, either with their plan tomorrow or when they arrived at Atlas, or most likely both, but that was just expected at this point.
Ruby was studying Weiss, as if she too was trying to figure out exactly how Weiss felt. Eventually, she said, "You won't be alone, Weiss."
Weiss took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She couldn't deny that that was part of it. "You can't guarantee that."
"Maybe not, but we won't leave you alone." Ruby doubled down on her determined tone. "I won't leave you alone."
Almost without conscious thought, Weiss's hand sought Ruby's. She held it a lot tighter than she would've liked, betraying the turmoil inside, but it was the only reason she could look Ruby in the eye. "You promise?"
Ruby smiled and squeezed her hand. "I promise."
5
Weiss breathed a sigh of relief as her scroll indicated that the map had been sent to Yang. That was one worry off her mind at least: Yang and the others were safe. She didn't know what exactly that explosion had been, but she knew that they had something to do with it.
Weiss glanced over at Blake, seated on the steps leading to the second floor and curled over her scroll.
"It shouldn't take them too long to get here," she told her. "Do you want to wait here for them while I let the others know?"
Blake heaved a shuddering breath before nodding. "Yeah. Thanks."
Weiss smiled, knowing that her relief simply couldn't compare to Blake's at knowing the others, especially Yang, were okay. "Okay. I'll be right back."
She stopped by her bedroom first. Luckily, almost everyone was in there to receive the news, Nora shooting her a thumbs-up from her bed, and Klein giving a short nod as he fussed over Penny. Whitley gave a distracted wave as he and Willow tracked the SDC ships on their way to Mantle.
One person was conspicuously missing.
So Weiss set out to find her partner.
Ruby had been unusually quiet since they had defeated the Hound. She couldn't blame her. Finding out that there was a Grimm with such unusual powers, that a Grimm could actually talk, would have been horrifying enough to affect anyone.
But to discover that the Grimm, at its core, was actually a person?
And one with silver eyes no less?
Weiss shuddered at the thought of Ruby falling to the same fate.
No, she couldn't blame Ruby for her reticence.
Weiss found Ruby in the library. She was curled up in one of the armchairs in front of the empty fireplace. For a second, Weiss hoped that maybe Ruby had just gotten away to get a nap, because frankly, all of them could use one. But as she flicked on the lights, silver shone back from half-lidded eyes.
"Ruby?" Weiss hesitantly approached her, not sure what to do with the aura of melancholy surrounding the normally optimistic girl.
Ruby sighed and shut her eyes. "What's wrong now?" She whined.
Weiss chuckled and couldn't help smiling. "Actually, the opposite for once."
That made Ruby actually sit up and open her eyes.
"Yang and the others… They're okay. They're on their way here now."
Ruby slumped down, her hands coming up to press into her eyes. "Oh, thank the gods." Her whisper trembled as she took a huge breath.
"Yes." Weiss sat on the arm of the chair. She pulled Ruby's hands away from her eyes and then just held them, her thumb rubbing back and forth in comfort.
"I was so worried…" With Weiss taking her hands away, Ruby instead leaned against her, burying her face in the crook of Weiss's arm.
"I know. We all were." Weiss paused. Maybe now, while they were waiting, might be the time. "Ruby, I…"
"Not now."
Weiss blinked and opened her mouth to reply, but Ruby bonked her head against her arm.
"I know what you want to talk about, but not now."
"Then when?" She couldn't help the exasperation in her voice. Because in all honesty, Weiss had been trying to have this conversation for a while now.
She could see how stressed Ruby was, how she just kept piling more and more responsibilities onto herself. Since arriving in Atlas, Ruby had taken on as many missions as she was allowed, and then when she wasn't on a mission, she was training. Every time Weiss tried to talk to her, Ruby would easily slip away with the excuse that she was busy.
Despite Ruby saying that she wouldn't leave Weiss alone, she hadn't been around very much.
Part of Weiss could understand, as the stakes kept getting higher and the need to do everything they could increased.
At the same time, she was hurt at Ruby's avoidance of her and the subject at hand: the way Ruby kept on shouldering the burden without letting herself rely on any of them.
She knew that they all relied on Ruby and looked to her as their leader, but Ruby wasn't doing the same in return. They were meant to be a team, and teams worked best when they supported each other. But Ruby was determined to do everything, to decide everything, by herself.
This was part of the reason why Yang had been so angry, after all.
"After." Ruby decided.
"After what?" After Mantle was saved? After they were all healed? After Salem was defeated?
After it was too late and Ruby broke under all the pressure?
"After we've saved the people of Mantle, okay?" Ruby lifted her head to give her the puppy dog eyes, which just wasn't fair.
Weiss deflated and relented, though she was still annoyed. "Fine. Once that happens, we're talking, got it?" She glared to make sure she was understood.
"Okay." Ruby dropped her head back down. After a few moments of silence, she asked, "How soon will they get here?"
"We've got a few more minutes, at least." Weiss wasn't sure if that was accurate, but she knew Ruby needed this.
Ruby's sigh at her words conveyed her gratitude.
And the two of them sat there for five more minutes before they got up to await the arrival of the rest of their friends.
+1
Weiss found Crescent Rose first.
Upon finding herself on a mysterious tropical island and surprisingly not dead, Weiss had decided to follow the sound of water. All of her survival training had prioritized finding water first, and she figured that would be an ideal meeting place. If the others were still alive and had fallen here too, which she hypothesized they had, then that would be the place to find him.
Crescent Rose confirmed her theories.
If it was here, then Yang, Blake, and Ruby must be as well.
With some effort, Weiss pried the scythe's blade from the tightly packed sand. She stood there for a moment, leaning against Crescent Rose as she caught her breath. For however long she'd been here, it seemed like her Aura hadn't fully recovered yet.
That didn't matter as much as finding the others though.
She couldn't — she couldn't be alone. She couldn't let Cinder be right.
So Weiss folded Crescent Rose back up, used vines from the odd trees to create a makeshift harness for it, and continued on her way.
Distantly, she took note of the trees, shells, and other plants that took up the small jungle and shore that she walked upon, attempting to categorize what might be useful, but a larger part of her kept thinking back to her partner and team.
Were they okay? Weiss felt fine and she was recovering quite well, but all of them had been hurt before falling and they'd presumably been here longer.
Besides, when she did find them, how could she even begin to explain what happened after they fell? With Cinder and Winter and Penny…
Oh, gods, Penny.
Weiss stopped and took a deep breath, closing her eyes.
She would focus on what she could do right now, not what happened.
Find her team first, find out where they were, and then find a way back to everyone else.
Those were her tasks.
Weiss walked forward once more.
Alone.
As she walked, she slowly ended up taking down her layers. It was much too hot to be wearing clothes meant for Atlas and Mantle, and since she didn't have time to test or purify the water, she didn't have the means to hydrate.
So off came her gloves and her shrug, wrapped up together and tied to Crescent Rose's harness. Then, after testing the sand's heat, she reluctantly took off her tights and boots. She held them in her hand and walked forward barefoot.
Still no sign of anyone else.
Weiss began to doubt herself. What if she was wrong? What if she and Crescent Rose had ended up here, but everyone else had fallen elsewhere? What if this was some sort of dream or hallucination and the others were really gone? Neo had fallen too, what if she had taken advantage of this and wiped out the others without her having any clue?
No, no, no—
"Weiss?"
Weiss sucked in a sharp breath as she stopped dead in her tracks. Slowly, she turned towards the voice.
Ruby stood at the edge of the jungle, staring at her with wide eyes.
"Ruby…" Weiss could hardly believe it. Time stood still for a moment.
She's not sure which of them moved first. Even if she did move first, as rose petals flutter about them, it's clear that Ruby moved faster.
They embraced.
Weiss couldn't remember ever being hugged so tightly in her life.
"Weiss? What are you doing here?" Ruby's voice shook as she squeezed her tighter.
"I thought you were dead!" A sob caught in Weiss's throat as she held Ruby just as tightly. "I-I thought you were gone and that I was—"
She couldn't finish that sentence.
Arms still wrapped around each other, they sank to the sand.
Weiss knew that there were many things they had to talk about, both things that had happened and what was to come. She knew they needed to find the other members of their team. She knew they had many things to discover about where they were.
But she figured that after the past few days, they deserved a short reprieve.
So Weiss set all of that aside for now and let herself take comfort within Ruby's arms.
Because Ruby was alive and safe and here.
And for the moment, that was enough.
AN: So here's 5 times Weiss and Ruby held hands for comfort and 1 time when hand holding wasn't gonna cut it.
So I just want to say that I think that when it comes to a romance between Ruby and Weiss, Ruby may have had a bit of a crush in Beacon, but at that point Weiss was still getting used to having friends, especially a best friend, so she didn't even contemplate that possibility. After the Fall, while separated, well, distance makes the heart fonder, but it was when they reunited that Weiss began to truly fall in love with Ruby. However, despite Ruby's feelings also growing, with everything else going on, she could no longer really give it as much attention as she wanted. White Rose is most definitely more of a slow burn than Bumblby's more emotionally explosive moments that bring them together.
I've got little notes for each section as well, so I'm gonna get into that now. I just kinda want to ramble a bit so don't mind me.
1. I've thought a lot about what it must have been like after Ruby caught Cinder at the CCT. We know she was debriefed the next morning by Ozpin and then she immediately told her teammates what happened after her meeting despite Ozpin saying to keep things on the DL. But yeah, I could see her being a bit shaken and Weiss attempting to cheer her up.
2. This one was super short but Ruby must've been upset with what happened at the end of Yang's match (I mean, seeing her sister attack someone (supposedly) unprovoked and then getting arrested? Oof), so that Weiss just gives her a small reassurance before going on her mission to figure out what happened.
3. This is where it becomes a gesture of comfort for Weiss just as much as it is for Ruby. I still can't believe how after this volume Weiss's near death wasn't ever really alluded to again or caused her teammates, especially Ruby, to be a bit more protective than usual. But I guess a lot happened pretty much right after that. Still, Ruby, who has seen two friends die and fears losing those she cares about, would be freaking out about losing Weiss especially as she shoulders her friends' safety with her role as leader. And Weiss nearly died, she deserves some comfort.
4. We all know Weiss didn't want to go to Atlas, even though they had to go. I'm pretty sure the only reason she returned was because of Ruby's reassurances...
5. ...but we all know that from what we saw in Volume 7 & 8, those promises of sticking with her didn't seem to last. Ruby's on track to have a major breakdown and she's pushing everyone away to deal with everything by herself. I really think one of the reasons Yang was angry was because Ruby was making quite a few decisions without really getting input from anyone else (though everyone was going along with it so...) and because she was trying to look more at what if's and the potential big picture than on the more immediate problems. But I'd be surprised if Weiss didn't notice Ruby's behavior, even if it's not as surprising if she doesn't know how deep it goes. And given how much Weiss values honesty, especially within the team, I'm sure at some point she's going to push Ruby to really talk about it. Maybe. If RT actually lets them interact, though Ruby purposefully separating herself from Weiss to not have this conversation would be a great excuse for them not interacting in the last couple volumes despite being partners and best friends.
+1. I don't know how everyone's gonna meet up in volume 9, but if there are not hugs, I will be livid. This part could also be a slight continuation of my fic yesterday where I had Weiss dealing with the emotional fallout of volume 8.
Anyway, thanks for reading.