How do you make a drowned goddess laugh? You give her ten tickles!
Chapter 36: Let's Get Kraken
Over the past few days, Theon had begun to feel increasingly nervous and nostalgic. And also fatigued: even he couldn't perform five times a day forever. Especially not when he realized he was going home to face the man who should have been his father, in the land that should have been his home. Even as the Indefatigable plowed through the cold waters of the northern Sunset Sea, Theon felt as though he were going to a strange land he had never visited before.
"Theon, what's wrong?" Nyarko asked, wrapping her arms about his neck from behind.
"Nothing, I just...I worry about my father," Theon admitted, mentally separating Balon Greyjoy from the man he considered his true father: even dead, Ned Stark would forever be the man who truly raised him.
"Oh! I thought you were wearing out. I do that sometimes, I forget that most humans can't keep going forever. It's OK, you can take a break, now that I'm pregnant with our child."
That got Theon's attention, and he jerked around, feeling the bottom fall out of his stomach. Despite his frequent escapades, he was fairly certain he'd never gotten a bastard on a girl before. He wasn't really sure how he would feel about that, and knew that at least Eddard wouldn't have approved. Even if the man had a bastard of his own.
Never mind that he did not know how she could be so certain about it.
"Oh don't worry, you'll be a WONDERFUL father! Just like my dear Mahiro-kun!" Nyarko giggled.
"I, er well-"
"I'll make sure we get married soon! I bet Claire could do it! Captains on ships can totally marry people, right?"
"Ah, I do not, that is, only priests of the Drowned Goddess can marry at sea and-"
"Oh no need to be so formal! Just call me Nyarko-chan! Or Nyarko-sama if you're being really observant."
Theon could only blink as Nyarko grinned at him. He still hadn't figured out what the strange suffixes she tacked on to names meant. Or the fact that she was actually his people's deity. The accumulation of so many things (and so many interesting bits) had left the poor lad unable to even notice the tentacles.
Fortunately, before Theon could try to explain to a (possibly) pregnant goddess why he didn't want to marry her, which is a bad enough idea with a mortal woman, a lookout shouted from above, "Land ho!"
"That's Pyke!" Nyarko said happily, and pulled Theon to his feet and out of the cabin. Of course, they couldn't see anything, as Planetos was round, as any sensible Maester could tell you. As neither Nyarko or Theon were sensible or a Maester, they had to wait for the distant smear of Pyke's rocks to appear on the horizon.
"Home at last. How does it feel?" Claire asked, coming to stand beside her brother on the rail. Nyarko had gotten bored and scrambled up the lines to the crow's nest, and was currently hanging upside down by her toes.
"I'm not sure. It doesn't really even feel like home anymore," Theon admitted. "But I suppose it is. I can't exactly return to Winterfell. What exactly are you planning, Claire? I know you wish to raise a fleet and go to Essos, but will father allow it?"
"I don't particularly care what the old man thinks he can or can't allow. If he refuses to bend the knee to the true queen, then I shall depose him and claim my place as his heir." Claire turned to Theon, who had jerked around, a look of shock on his face. "Don't be so surprised. You've been gone a long time. You're not even a captain in your own right. I, on the other hand, have the support of several of the houses, a loyal crew, and a long history of successful operations. And I'm five years your senior."
"But I...I'm the heir to Pyke," Theon said, feeling as though a hand had gripped his throat and chest. Claire was betraying him, now?
"Perhaps you were once. But you'd have little support if you overthrew father. Support me, and I'll see to it that you are given proper training. Besides, I'm never going to bear children, so you will be my heir, and your children after me," Claire said with a shrug.
"You're not going to have a septon... help you?" Theon asked, trying to decide just how he felt about this. Claire's heir? But he was the eldest male. That was how things were supposed to work!
"I have no interest in such things. Nor time for children. And Theon, I can see what you're thinking. Let me remind you of a few things. First, you are on my ship, under my power. Yes, Nyarko favors you, but just because she does doesn't mean she wants you to be the Lord of the Isles. She probably has some idiot plan for you. Perhaps she'll make you into a 'viking,' whatever that is."
"Why does it matter what Nyarko wants?" Theon demanded. "And just because I'm on your ship doesn't give you the right to take what is mine!"
"It was never yours, Theon. You simply assumed because you are a man that you would be the next Lord of Pyke. But do you think you could face me in battle and win?"
Theon opened his mouth to say yes, he could beat a woman easily, then closed it. He could probably defeat most men and just about any woman, but Claire was an exception. Something was different about her. It reminded him of the Stark daughters, how she spoke and moved at times. She wasn't as... enthusiastic... as Megumin, nor as friendly as Yunyun, nor as conniving as Komekko, but there was just...the impression that she was from a different time and place, and that she followed her own rules.
"I will not treat you poorly, nor send you away. Indeed, if you so wish, you can remain on Pyke and rule as my regent, learn for when you inherit from me, though I advise you to spend a few years at sea to earn the respect of our people," Claire said, gesturing to the crew. "You have lived amongst the Greenlanders for many years. Do not make that face at me, brother. I think no less of you for it. Despite being a traitor, Eddard Stark was an honorable man who ruled his own people well. I can understand turning your coat when your father and brother are murdered by the king."
"You speak as though you intend to depose father when we arrive," Theon said slowly. "I hold little love for Balon Greyjoy, but he is our father and the rightful lord."
Claire snorted in derision. "If he's not making plans even now to rise and proclaim himself king of the Iron Isles, then I shall feel no pressing need to exile him to the greenlands. But if he is, I'll drag him before Queen Iris and let her deal with the fool."
"He is our father though. Shouldn't we…?" Theon looked up at Clare, who had set her jaw. "I suppose he would just get more of our people killed. But won't declaring for a Targaryen make us further foes?"
"It will also gain us allies. There are those who recall where their loyalties should lie, even amidst the Greenlanders. Let Stannis try to build himself a throne built on kinslaying. We shall go to one who the Goddesses themselves have blessed," Claire declared.
Theon tilted his head to one side, not certain if he was hearing things correctly. "You almost sound as though you follow the Seven instead of the Drowned Goddess."
Claire gave Theon a dubious look. "And you do, after the last month? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you think with your balls, but that's just silly Theon."
"But, Claire! You can't-" Theon dropped his voice. "Claire, if your crew knew, they'd offer you to the Crawling One for certain! You can't try to inherit Pyke if you have turned your back on our people's goddess!"
"Oh you think so? You there!" Claire pointed to a random crew member who was hurrying by on some task. "Who do you worship?"
The crewman glanced up, to where Nyarko was hanging from a rope and laughing, high above the deck. "Well it ain't her no more. These days I do like you do, cap'n. I say my prayers mostly to the Joyful One, and hope Lady Aqua sends us fair weather and plenty o'grog."
Theon made a strangled sound, and looked to Claire. "Have all our people turned their back on She of Endless Tentacles, or is it just your crew? Does father know?"
"Father, much like Uncle Aeron, thinks I am the favored of the Drowned Goddess. They are, of course, correct, though only she knows why. It's not like I ever pray to her."
"It's because we made passionate love!" Nyarko shouted down to Claire. "Sadly, you were not the one for me, Claire-chan, and-"
"OH GIVE IT A REST FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" Claire bellowed back. "YOU SLEPT WITH MY BROTHER, YOU DAMNED NUISANCE! YOU JUST WON'T BLOODY WELL LEAVE ME ALONE YOU MANIC GODDESS!"
"We did kiss," Nyarko pouted. Then, Theon's jaw just about hit the deck as one of her arms turned into a tentacle, and the silver haired girl lowered herself to the deck. Then she threw her arms around Theon. "But, now that I am pregnant with Theon's child, we can never be together, Claire, for Theon is my beloved Mahiro reborn!"
"Mazel Tov." Claire said flatly. "I'll make sure to have a net ready when you have the child. And I'll have you know, I was sixteen, and very drunk when we made out. And the second you tried using your tentacles, I almost lost interest in women forever."
"Theon likes them, don't you Theon-kun?" Nyarko giggled, fluttering her eyelashes at Theon, who was feeling an increasing sense of dread and horror.
"I thought... I thought you were just good with your hands," Theon stammered, now realizing that there were some things she had done that should not have been possible.
"Oh I am! But don't worry, if you really want to be Lord of Pyke, I'll tell everyone Claire's actually a blessing from Aqua and not me, and they'll make YOU Lord of the Iron Islands instead of dumb old Balon. But right now I gotta go. I'm gonna see what offerings people left me! I'll see you soon!"
With a quick peck on the cheek for Theon, Nyarko dove into the water. As he watched, Theon could just barely make out the form of a young woman ripple, replaced by a writing mass of tentacles that vanished into the depths.
Sagging against the railing, Theon nearly vomited. "I...I've been sleeping with...Madoka, giver of Hope, preserve my soul as I walk through darkness…"
"It's not going to do you any good to start praying now," Claire said with an amused tone. "Did you really not figure it out?"
"You...you set me up with the Drowned One?!" Theon demanded, standing and panting, his eyes wild with panic. "But...but she'll turn me into a merman! Or a shantak! Or-"
"If she does, just use a fork. I've got a few hidden away," Claire said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.
"I never have touched a fork! It's Heresy!" Theon cried, jerking around to glare at Claire, then back around to the water where his lover goddess had vanished.
"Considering you just prayed to Madoka, I'd be careful who you call a heretic," Claire chuckled. "Relax, little brother. I'm sure she won't make you join the priesthood."
"But I...do you really think she's pregnant?" Theon asked faintly, now not certain if this meant he had to marry Nyarko and take up residence as her husband in her underwater halls.
"Let's hope not," Claire said, turning away to see the ship's arrival at Pyke. "The last thing we need is another kraken mucking up the shipping lanes."
"Why, because that's what you do?" Theon said before he could think better of it. Claire turned to glare at him, then rolled her eyes and smiled.
"I suppose you can be amusing at times. Come. We'll be in the harbor soon."
A longship approached as they neared the breakwater, calling up to them.
"HO! Indefatigable! What news have you? Is Captain Greyjoy well?"
"I am hale, Ralf," Claire called back, coming to the rail. She pointed to Theon, grinning wildly. "And I bring a great treasure: my brother is free of the Greenlanders at last."
"Well dip me in tar and use me for corking! Where'd the Drowned Goddess drag you from, Theon?" Captain Ralf laughed. "We thought you'd be dead with the Wolves and Lions."
"How is my father?" Theon called, unable to recall this man at all. Had he been a captain, ten years ago? Theon couldn't remember. It had been too long.
"The King is well! You're a prince now! Smile, for the Drowned Goddess favors us! We shall be free of the greenlanders once more!"
Theon could only give a sick smile and wave in return, while Claire turned away and issued further orders.
A prince? Theon felt like throwing up all over again. First he found out he'd been sleeping with his own deity, and now he found out his father was rising again. He remembered the death, remembered the terror. Remembered even the horrors of the deep falling under the hammer of Robert Baratheon and the Faith Militant.
He looked to Claire, who was busy directing her ship into port, a stern look about her as her blue grey eyes flashed in anger. He stood and made his way over to her. "I'll support you. Even as the heir. Maybe I can get Nyarko, I mean, the Goddess to help too."
"Please don't. The less she's involved, the better," Claire said, but then paused and nodded to Theon. "Though, thank you. I'd rather have you at my back than anywhere else, little brother. It seems Eddard Stark taught you well. Let us hope we can have as much honor as he did as we are forced into a bloody coup."
There was a commotion at the docks as the Indefatigable tied up, and Theon spotted a man with a dark helm in the shape of a Kraken followed by a squad of men dressed in the traditional leather and mail of the Ironborn making their way down the docks, while another group, dressed in the same sort of uniforms that Claire and her sailors wore came from another direction.
"This could get ugly," Mr. Harlaw grunted. "Orders, Captain?"
"Get a boat ready. I'll try and persuade dear uncle Victarion not to do anything foolish. I'd like this to be bloodless. Theon, call for Nyarko-san. If nothing else, people will listen to her," Claire ordered.
"How do I even do that?" Theon demanded as sailors hastily lowered a boat over the side.
"Toss an offering over the side, or stick your head in the salt water and call her whatever you do in the bedroom," Claire said with a shrug. "Or ask uncle Aeron. He might know something I don't."
Theon looked to their other uncle, who was preparing to jump into the boat as well, and decided he'd rather not get a lecture about impregnating the Drowned One. Instead, he quickly took off one of his rings, tossing it into the sea with a cry of, "Nyarko-san, I need you!"
When the ring simply fell into the dark waves and vanished, Theon felt exceedingly foolish, but no one seemed to notice. However, when Theon clambered down into the boat, he found a grinning Nyarko waiting for him, his gold ring clutched to her breast.
"Oh Theon-Kun, out of all the offerings I receive, this one I shall treasure most!" she sighed. Theon noticed that she didn't appear to be wet at all, but had changed into a fine silken gown, probably one that some captain had given to her as an offering at one of the sacred sites in the Iron Isles. She also had several very gaudy gold bracelets, mismatched earrings bearing large precious gemstones, and a necklace of finely wrought silver inlaid with pearls.
"I-I'm glad, m-my lady," Theon stammered as Nyarko pressed herself to him. "I, er, I need you to help me keep my Uncle Victarion from arresting us."
"What? What's Vicky-kun doing now?" Nyarko asked, peering up. She spotted Victarion shouting something incoherent at the assembled group of angry looking Ironborn in the odd clothes, and made a face. "Oh, this again. Don't people get it? Pirates' natural enemies are ninjas, not vikings! You guys should totally work together, pirate vikings would be so cool!"
Then Nyarko stood up and cupped her hand to her mouth. What came out made the air tremble, and was far too loud and deep for such a small body. "Oi! Vicky-kun! Knock it off! No bullying Claire's pirates!"
"Vicky?" Theon managed, while Claire hid a snort in her fist.
"Yeah! Vicky-san's like, one of my most devoted followers! Your whole family is, except Claire but she came from Aqua so that's OK. That's why I just KNEW you were the reincarnation of my beloved Mahiro-chan, Theon-kun!"
The brewing fight paused, as the combatants turned to gaze at the rapidly approaching boat.
"BEHOLD, THE CRAWLING CHAOS BLESSES US WITH HER HOLY PRESENCE!" Aeron declared, standing up in the boat and spreading his arms wide, which made the sailors curse as it rocked wildly.
"And I'm pregnant with Theon-chan's child!" Nyarko declared in a very unhelpfully loud voice, jumping up herself and pulling Theon with her. That, unfortunately, proved too much for the boat, with Nyarko jumping about, Theon struggling in her grip, and Aeron posing and pontificating. The entire craft capsized, and Theon found the breath nearly driven from him. He opened his eyes in the murky water, and found Nyarko grinning at him. He managed to smile back at her uncertainty, but then her body sprouted tentacles, that wrapped themselves about Theon, and he gasped and tried to yell, only to suck in a lungful of salt water.
The next thing Theon knew, he was coughing and retching with wooden boards under him, Nyarko straddling his chest.
"What is dead may never die!" Nyarko proclaimed.
"BUT RISES AGAIN, HARDER AND STRONGER!" the assembled Ironborn roared in delight as Theon struggled to sit up.
"Don't worry Theon, I just know you'll rise again tonight," Nyarko purred as she helped him up. He felt slightly shaken, but did smile at the reference. Despite the fact that he now knew who Nyarko was, Theon was still Theon, and Theon was something of a horny idiot. Some things never change.
"Are you quite finished?" Claire grumbled, squelching over in her sodden clothes. "Yes? Good. Uncle Vicky, I think it's high time you escorted us to father. It is past time he, his children, and the goddess had a chat."
Victarion's brow furrowed, and he glared from under his kraken shaped helm. "You'll try none of your tricks, niece. You're the princess now, and your father would have you help command our forces against the Greenlanders."
"Would he? Well. Let's head to the castle and discuss his kingship," Claire said. She turned to one of the newcomers in a uniform similar to hers. "Captain Botly, see to your men. Now is not the time for division among our people."
The man in question started, glancing at Victarion and his men, but then saluted in the same odd fashion Theon had seen Claire's sailors use. "Aye, Captain Greyjoy. The men of the Royal Iron Navy will await your pleasure."
"Wooden ships," Claire said, returning the salute.
"But Iron men!" the sailors shouted back. They stepped back, bowing to Nyarko as she skipped along.
"Does my carriage await me, Vicky-san? I want an elegant carriage to carry me and my prince away!"
"Er, we don't have carriages on Pyke, O Crawling One," Victarion said, looking in perplexity at Aeron.
"We have horses to bear you, and a cart or wagon can be found, my Goddess," Aeron said.
Nyarko pouted, then sighed dramatically. "Very well, I shall consent to let my Prince Charming bear me away on his shining steed!" Then she jumped at Theon, who barely managed to catch her. "Onward! To Castle Pyke!"
Theon did manage to carry Nyarko to a horse, which instead of being a shining steed, was a dun colored beast with a shaggy coat of hair.
"This won't do at all!" Nyrako declared, and hopped out of his arms. She took the horse's head in both her arms and frowned at it. The poor beast met her eyes, then let out a startled whinny as its flesh suddenly rippled. In a moment, a massive destrier with a silver coat and white mane stood there. It reared and neighed loudly, kicking the air.
"A holy miracle!" Aeron declared, and the Ironborn all knelt in supplication, save for Theon, who was dumbstruck, and Claire, who looked unimpressed.
"Come on Theon! You have to say the line and sweep me into the saddle!" Nyarko said, shoving him towards the horse.
"The line?" Theon asked.
"You know, the dramatic line before you ride off into the sunset!" Nyarko ordered as Theon got into the saddle.
"Oh." Baffled, Theon climbed up, and made the horse rear again. "BEHOLD! I AM THEON GREYJOY! FOREMOST GENIUS OF THE HOUSE OF GREYJOY AND WIELDER OF THE MAGIC BOW, UM, WINTER'S BANE." Then he grabbed Nyarko by the arm and jerked her up behind him.
"I meant 'Hi-Ho Silver, Away', but that one was pretty good too!" Nyarko giggled as Theon healed the horse into a gallop and they took off towards Pyke castle.
Behind them, Victarion slowly rose, then went over to Claire, who had covered her face with one hand and let out a heavy sigh of exasperation. "Er, did he learn that from She of Endless Tentacles, or the Greenlanders?"
"I honestly don't know, but at this point, I'm not surprised," Claire answered, walking over and grimacing at her own mount before scrambling up. "But we'd best not leave those two alone. Who knows what sort of trouble they can cause."
After a somewhat long and dusty ride, the party arrived at Castle Pyke, set against the cliffs of the Isle with the sea raging around and below it. Theon felt a surge of nostalgia, gazing at the patches in the walls he remembered and ruined and broken. He looked to Nyarko, and asked something he'd long wondered. "Why did you let Robert sack Pyke?"
"Huh?" Nyarko looked at Theon, then frowned. "Oh. Well, because Madoka got mad. I sort of broke our agreement too, so I only sent a few of my adorable babies to stop the stupid greenlanders from ruining our fun. But that's OK, because I got Madoka back by bringing the Indefatigable here and making their precious Claire my Pirate Queen!"
"I AM NOT A PIRATE!" Claire snarled, but Nyarko only giggled.
"Are the Seven really more powerful than you are?" Theon asked, feeling slightly queasy.
"Satella and Madoka are, but I can totally kick the rest of their butts. But mostly I don't because we're Nakama! Now if only they'd let me hang out with them more. Oh well, come on! I want to see what Baily-Kun is up to!"
Theon made his way across the bridge into the keep, half expecting his father (almost snorting at how Nyarko labeled the grouchy Lord of Pyke) to greet him, but of course, he didn't. Why should Balon care if his children returned? He was a king now, and damn everyone else.
Theon, his sister, uncles, and of course, the errant goddess met the self proclaimed King of the Iron Isles in his private study. Balon was not dressed in fine robes, and did not wear a golden crown. Instead, he had on leathers and oilskin, and looked to be the same hard man Theon had known in his youth, though his hair had gone grey and there was a stoop to his shoulders that had not been there before.
"So, my children return to me. I must thank you, Goddess, for delivering them unto me," Balon said, dipping his head to Nyarko.
"Yep! You were always my favorite, Bailey! Well, except for Theon-chan, of course. We're-"
"Father," Theon said, cutting Nyarko off and stepping forward. "What madness is this? Robert is dead only a bare month, and already you think yourself a king?"
Balon's eyes blazed, and he growled. "So, was it your acurseed sister who poisoned your mind, or did that worthless cur Stark do it?"
"Eddard Stark was a noble man!" Theon shouted, stepping forward so that he looked down on his father. "He died with honor, as he lived! And he taught me to be more of a man than you ever did! What it meant to be a lord! To value the lives of your people! You would throw me away, just as you did my brothers, and send our people into a pointless war we cannot win!"
"WE ARE OF IRON AND SALT! I SHALL CARVE MY KINGDOM OUT OF THE GREENLANDERS' HIDE AS THE GREY KING OF OLD!" Balon bellowed, trying to draw himself up as his eyes blazed. "THE GODDESS HERSELF IS AT OUR SIDE, WE CANNOT FAIL!"
"Ask my brothers how that worked for them last time," Theon spat. "When Stannis or Iris or whichever of those fools sits the Iron Throne, they'll come with their Faith Militant, with magic, and steel, and the blessings of THEIR goddesses! And our people will suffer again!"
"We were free once! And we shall be again! Harren the Black was a fool to bow to Aegon!" Balon raged.
"You think we could have stood against the Kvaldir!?" Theon demanded. "I was in the North! I saw the Wall! The Wights and the Others are still there! The Kinslayer may be dead and gone, but those Northmen know how to fight monsters! Would you have Nyarko-san's children die at their hands again!?"
"It's our baby!" Nyarko agreed, inserting herself between father and son. "But you're totally wrong, Theon. Arthas is dead, but he's not gone. He's awake again and stuff. I'm gonna need to go make sure he's not ready yet, 'cause if he is we're gonna need to fight off those zombies again."
Dead silence fell. Theon felt as though a million spiders made of ice had crawled down his back. Slowly, he and his father turned to Nyarko, but it was Claire who spoke first.
"What do you mean, the Kinslayer is dead, but not gone?" Claire demanded, coming to glower down at the Drowned Goddess.
"Oh, well, I locked him in the Frozen Throne with Wiz and stuff, but that was only like, a temporary solution. That's why you're here, Claire! You're my champion, to help Iris defeat Cold Sauron once and forever! Or at least that's what Aqua says. I think. I wasn't paying that much attention."
"Cold...Sauron?" Aeron managed, looking winded and pale.
"Yeah, you know, dark lord, necromancer, wants to cause the Ice Zombie Apocalypse and stuff?" Nyarko said with a wide grin. "That's super boring! That's why we're gonna stop it! But we need Iris, cause she's like, majorly broken or whatever."
"Still think it wise to declare yourself king, father?" Claire said quietly. "I told you Iris Targaryen was the true Queen, and that we would need her. Now you know why. You know I was sent by the goddess, a Champion of Old."
"Like Theon! He's my precious Mahiro reborn! We're getting married, for I am pregnant with his child!" Nyarko declared, utterly unable to read the room.
"The Kinslayer...is alive?" Victarion asked.
"No, pay attention Vicky! He's totes dead. But like, he's the Lich King and stuff, so being dead isn't gonna stop him. That's why we need heroes to stop him!" Nyarko grinned at Claire and embraced Theon, rubbing her cheek against him.
Reflexively, he put his arm around her shoulders. "I...I won't let any harm come to you, Nyarko-san. Or, um, or our child."
"So brave," Nyarko sighed happily.
"I...I suppose...if the goddess thinks it wise...we shall swear to Iris Targaryen," Balon said through gritted teeth.
"She does," Claire said, resting a hand on her cutlass hilt. "Otherwise, we shall require a new leader. One who isn't foolhardy enough to declare himself king and get our home invaded again at the worst possible time."
"So quick to turn on your own father. This is what I get for allowing that foreign goddess into my lands!" Balon snarled. Then he sighed. "But if the Kinslayer rises again...I suppose it is true. What is dead… may never die."
Theon swallowed nervously. What would they do if Arthas the Night's King did rise again, harder and stronger?
Over the next few weeks, Nyarko was in and out of Pyke, leaving Theon little time as the Ironborn mobilized for war. Though it had been three hundred years, they remembered the Dark Days, when the kvaldir had come out of the mists, and undead kraken had besieged their shores. Not even the Drowned Goddess had been able to fight off the Kinslayer alone. Claire readied her squadron of three ships to sail to Essos and retrieve the Stormborn, and to serve at her pleasure. To Theon's chagrin, he was made First Mate of the Indefatigable, while Mr. Harlaw became Captain Earl Harlaw of the Victory.
"You need experience before you are ready for command," Claire informed Theon when he complained about his being of higher birth. "While your noble blood has gotten you a commission, you are unsalted and untested. And don't even think of whining to Nyarko or father. This is my fleet, and I am in command. You can serve as my First Mate, or you can be left ashore and hope father gives one of those old tubs he calls ships."
"Fine. I'll prove my blood is Iron, and that I'm worthy to captain a ship, the same as you!" Theon snapped.
He was forced to learn all sorts of nautical terms as the ships prepared for their voyage, which included some time in the yard to repair the damage from that blast. Still, in just under a month's time, they were ready to set sail once more. There was a great feast at Castle Pyke, during which Theon managed to enjoy himself. As Nyarko was absent, he tried to catch the eye of a few serving maids, but as it was well known he was the Goddess' Chosen, they kept well clear of Theon, and he went to bed alone to his chagrin.
In the middle of the night, however, Theon was awoken by a squelching sound. He sat up to see a dark shape crawling through his window, and was instantly grateful he hadn't charmed his way into a serving girl's skirts as Nyarko entered.
"Welcome back, Nyarko-chan," Theon said, lighting a candle and smiling. He could do with a bit of celebration, even if it was with his deity. He held it up, then frowned, Nyarko was covered in seaweed, and was wearing only rags. Her eyes looked back at him, blank and empty.
"Nyarko? What's wro-" a tentacle lashed out, grabbing Theon around the throat, choking him.
"N-Nyarko! Wh-what," Theon gasped. Then, he spied a grapple on his window, and a moment later, a second figure stepped through his window in the flickering light of Theon's dropped candle.
"Hello, nephew," Euron Greyjoy purred. "Good work, my pet. Now. Let us find the rest of my beloved family. I do so look forward to seeing them again."
"W-what, what are you-" Theon gasped as his vision began to blur. "Nyarko, stop! It's me! Y-your Theon-kun!"
"She can't hear you, nephew," Euron chuckled, and held up a large, strangely shaped fork. "It's time for a change around here. The Drowned Goddess's time has passed. It's time for the Crow's Eye to rule."
Theon blacked out as Euron's laughter filled his mind with terror.