A/N: Sorry for the delay in update everyone! I have been working on my First Aid & CPR course this week, followed by Biology assignments in preparation for starting school in September as a Nurse, huge change for me but I will still have this as my little escape :)
Once again, thank you for all the reviews, I will hopefully have time to reply to them all soon!
BTW some reviews have complained that Hermione wouldn't have drank or spoken so openly because she's a stickler for rules and all. You forget she is a teenage girl, she may have gone through a war, but she also needs to fit in, hence the drinking. Also, when you crave human interaction and receive it from people who make everything seem okay again you may speak a bit more openly. This is mentioned in this chapter and addressed.
-oOo-
"James! It's Hermione!"
James jumped out of bed and ran for the tapestry door, ignoring Lily exiting her own room. He ripped the door open and pushed past Mary running towards the 7th year girls dormitory. He had only made it to the stairs when he heard it. Hermione's screams echoed throughout the Common Room. The sound so loud it was as if she was right beside him, the sound so terrifying they broke his heart, he couldn't get to her fast enough. He was stopped at the foot of the stairs knowing he wasn't allowed up due to the ridiculous notion the Founders had that boys were untrustworthy.
"James! I set the stairs jinx to not change," Mary told him hurriedly. He didn't know there was such a jinx but currently he didn't want to stop and consider that piece of knowledge, he needed to get to Hermione. He ran up the stairs to the top floor, when he reached the door there was a crowd of girls from all years surrounding the door, some looked terrified, others curious, and some crying.
"Everyone go to bed," he yelled at them all as he pushed through. They grumbled at the order but started moving away, whispering about what they were hearing and having boys in their dormitory somehow. James ignored them and pushed through the door and propelled himself into the room. Standing inside by the door was Peter, he had to contain a growl that almost escaped at the sight of him near Hermione. Sirius and Remus were sitting by the bed trying to wake her, Marlene, and Dorcas were in the corner holding each other crying as they watched her. He made his way over to the head of her bed beside Sirius while Lily came barrelling in after him and ran to Remus.
James looked at the girl he cared for as she was tossing in the bed, her back arching as she screamed, sobbing as sweat coated her pale white face. She was so white she could be considered a corpse if not for all the tremors and convulsions her body was enduring.
"No, no, please, stop. We didn't steal it, please...NO, NO, NO!" she cried out before another scream tore from her throat. James didn't know what to do, Remus and Sirius were staring at her in horror shaking her and calling out her name.
"Mate, she's been screaming for ten minutes, we can't wake her!" Sirius dropped his head into his hands, his face pale and scrunched up in pain. He knew these screams, he'd endured the cause of them many times at the hand of his mother, his father, and if they were indisposed they passed the honour to dear old Bella. He knew that was who was plaguing Hermione's dream, it made it all the more painful to watch knowing it was his cousin that caused this.
"What the fuck is wrong with her?" yelled out Peter. They all ignored him. James did the only thing he could think of, he climbed into the bed and pulled her to his chest and started rocking her and petting her hair. He whispered her name and told her it was safe, he told her she wouldn't ever harm her again if he was there. It only took a few minutes before the convulsions stopped, her screams died out and small whimpers replaced her sobs. It was ten more minutes before her breathing evened out and her eyes started to flutter.
"Hermione?" asked Remus softly, her eyes opened and connected with his mossy green eyes. Realization dawned on her and she looked around the room to see Lily beside Remus crying into his shoulder, Marlene and Dorcas in the corner holding one another and Sirius on her other side. She looked down and saw the arms around her and quickly looked up to see James sitting behind her, comforting her. She quickly sat up and movement in her peripheral caught Peter standing by the door, she immediately flinched back into James and shook slightly, Peter watched her actions curiously while James held her a little tighter.
"Hermione?" Remus asked again. Her eyes darted back to him, he could see the pain behind them, the shame at being found and thought of as weak, but they all knew she wasn't. She was the strongest for surviving and they had to remind her of that, but it would take time, a lot of time it seemed for her to realize that.
"I'm sorry" was all she replied in a small, hoarse voice
"Why are you sorry?" demanded Sirius almost angrily. How could she be the one apologizing after what she just went through?
"I forgot a silencing charm," she could feel James' hand stroking her hair while his arm was around her waist, she felt secure.
"Hermione, don't apologize. We want to help," replied Lily
"How?" Hermione didn't think anyone can help her, nothing but time would help her, she couldn't even laugh at the irony of that, "How can you help me?"
"By being there, helping you feel safe," replied Sirius. He had been through this in some regard at the Potters. When he first moved there after being disowned it took nearly the whole summer for him to not flinch when Dorea touched him or touched her own wand, or be alone in a room with Charlus. He knew neither would hurt him the way his parents did, but parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally and instead he had been raised as a practice dummy until he willingly conformed to the Pureblood ways. Trusting a new set of parents that were in no way obligated to care about him was difficult to accept.
Hermione averted her eyes from everyone and looked down at her hands, she fiddled with her sleeve cuffs and nodded her head slightly to show them she would try.
"Will you be okay? Do you want some Dreamless Sleep Draught?" Lily offered.
"I'll be fine, they weren't this bad before school. It might just be from drinking too much," she let out a cold laugh. Hermione was thinking to herself that she was so stupid, thinking she could be normal, trying to act like a normal girl. She had fucked up at Diagon Alley by being too open with her friends, she had felt like she was back with her Sirius and her Remus and it felt so natural to be open with with, but that was a mistake. She knew she could hold her tongue while drinking, many years of practice had seen to that, and she knew she wouldn't let anything slip to Peter, she couldn't, but this had also been a mistake. She let her guard down, forgot her silencing charms and now everyone knew. They knew how weak she was, her mind was weak letting itself be transported back to Malfoy Manor, she was stronger than this. She survived the torture, she couldn't let Bellatrix win after the fact.
This was proof she couldn't be a normal teenage girl. There was no drinking games, talking and laughing about the old days, reminiscing about her childhood. No, she had to be a strategist, all of her words had to be carefully planned around the rat. Her knowledge had to be put to good use, she couldn't endanger the future in such a way. There was only one future she was certain of and she couldn't plan around one if Peter learnt her truth. She couldn't plan if Voldemort was informed of her; that would be her demise.
Dumbledore had told her that informing the Maruaders and Lily would help her have friends who she could honestly speak with, but all it had brought was trouble. Speaking too openly in public, drinking on her first day back to appear normal and not suspicious to Peter, and now causing the entirety of Gryffindor House to wake to her nightmares. Hermione groaned and scooted down the bed and curled up, she was still being held by James but she wasn't against him anymore, she had rolled onto the mattress with her hands covering her face, her body language informing everyone to leave her be.
James was reluctant to leave her, he didn't want her to go through any of this alone. Seeing the strong witch before him appear so small and vulnerable, it made James want to wrap her in his arms and never let go, which he was currently doing. He stayed on the bed and didn't move as the girls all agreed to go to the Head Dorms for some tea to relax before bed. He knew Dorcas and Marlene were going to ask Lily, they would be good friends to Hermione, James knew that. Marlene had been quite the help with Sirius when they returned to school for their sixth year after adjusting over the summer.
Remus and Sirius were also hesitant to leave, their faces showing the pain they were feeling for their friend, but they slowly walked out the room. They had to push Peter out ahead of them as he showed no indication of leaving and gave quite a few disgruntled comments at not knowing anything. James didn't want to push her, but he wanted her to know that she had no reason to feel ashamed, he was there for her. He would stay with her every night if she let him, maybe the Head Dorms was a more private space for her. Before he could say anything, Hermione whispered quietly.
"I forgot, how could I forget?" she spoke so softly he was sure it was to herself.
"Hermione, Mi, it's okay that you forgot the silencing charm, people will understand," he assured her as he rubbed up and down her arm gently. She looked over her shoulder at him as if she forgot he was there, but she also had another look in her eyes, like she wanted to disagree with him but was holding back, "You can tell me anything Hermione,"
She bit her lip and looked thoughtful before rolling over slightly. She had rolled into his side and fit perfectly against his side, as she snuggled in he could feel her hips brushing against his. Feeling her so close was causing a reaction that he did not think she would appreciate at the moment, he discreetly moved his lower body so she wouldn't feel his attraction to her. If they were dating he was sure he could help that was after a nightmare, but since he hadn't even managed to kiss her yet he had to push those thoughts aside. The thoughts of laying in bed with her, naked, with her legs wrapped around his waist - 'no stop James, stop. Think of Snivellus, he's actually having a shower, oh thank Godric' he sighed as his erection deflated in his boxers.
"No, I forgot- I forgot he was there" Hermione finally spoke. James froze at her words, he knew exactly who she meant, and where she meant. Peter was witness to her torture, "I forgot, and then I drank, and my defences were down and I couldn't get out." She started sobbing and James held her close, he whispered words of comfort in her ear as his own mind spun.
Peter was going to pay. Peter was going to die. He would make sure of it. He caused his death, Sirius' incarceration, Remus being alone. Lily and Hermione. James loved his brothers, and he knew the two women in his life could fight for themselves, but Peter brought them misery. Something James could never forgive. He took Lily from her son, and watched Hermione suffer the torture of Bellatrix Lestrange and cut her up for fun. His brothers and he were going to ensure Peter Pettigrew regrets the day he chose to switch sides, so test the friendship of the Marauders.
James held Hermione tighter as her sobs evened out and she fell asleep, didn't let her go and slowly followed her into the realm of sleep. Both unaware of the rat that was scurrying around the room, frustrated to have learned absolutely nothing from the sobbing mess of a girl, Peter really needed to know who this 'he' was and who the fuck this girl was, he only hoped that his Master didn't want answers because currently he had nothing.
-oOo-
The dark robed man stalked up to the ostentatious manor, pas the peacocks that graced the garden, and up to the front door. A small, terrified House Elf answered the door and led the wizard to the Ball Room, or as the more accurate name; Throne Room. The House Elf opened the door to the room and led him towards the handsome, black haired, red-eyed Dark Lord sitting upon his throne. Standing to his right was Lucius Malfoy, the right hand man of the Dark Lord and host.
"Rookwood," greeted Voldemort, "This is an unexpected visit,"
"My Lord, I bring you news from the Ministry," Rookwood knelt at the feet of his throne. Lucius' eyebrow raised at the man before him, he was very well known at the Ministry, nothing happened there without his knowledge.
"What news could you have that I would not already know?" scoffed Lucius. Voldemort raised his hand to Lucius signalling him to be quiet.
"Speak Rookwood. What have you learnt as your time as an Unspeakable?" Rookwood had only been recruited for a few months as a Death Eater, but he was determined to prove his worth. When he had discovered what he had at the Ministry he had made sure to research all he could before bringing it to his Master, he refused to be subjected to torture for not having all the answers. Rookwood would be a respected Death Eater, yes, he would not be weak like the Malfoy bastard before him.
"My Lord, I have discovered a project of Albus Dumbledore. Involving a Time," he grinned maniacally as he saw the predatory smile grace his Master's face. Yes, the torture and death of his colleague would be worth it when he shared everything with his Dark Lord.
Voldemort listened as Rookwood explained the project Dumbledore had created, he had a fail safe ready for his demise. Voldemort grinned evilly as he thought about what he could do with such a device if he could steal it from the old man. He would need his Hogwarts spies to do a lot more this year.
"Lucius, bring me Severus, Regulus and Pettigrew," he ordered, "Rookwood, you have done well. You shall be rewarded, a boon for you at our next revel."
Rookwood bowed once more and left Malfoy Manor, he grinned happily knowing that the next revel he would be rewarded with his own Mudblood to humiliate or at least a Pureblood or Blood Traitor to give him an heir.
-oOo-
Hermione woke up the next morning feeling very warm and more comfortable than she could ever remember sleeping. She recalled the nightmare the night before and how vivid it had been. It was almost like she was right back in the Drawing Room of Malfoy Manor, she could smell the copper smell of her blood, the urine from herself after torture, and the foul breath of Fenrir Greyback. The sounds had been so clear as well, the laughter of Bellatrix piercing her ears, and the foul words coming from Greyback's mouth. But the part that made it all worse was that she had forgotten, she had forgotten that Peter Pettigrew had been in the room, standing at the door to where Harry and Ron were held. She had locked eyes with the coward, she had locked eyes with Draco too but Draco she could at least see the pain he felt not being able to help. Peter showed no pain or pity for her, simply fear for himself, he never cared about anyone but his own skin.
Drinking last night had been a mistake, she had forgotten Peter Pettigrew had been as much a part of her pain as the people around her. He had personally affected her too and she had only remembered at the worst possible time, while her guard was down and she had drank for too much. She had allowed her mind to be transported back to her worst moment because Peter Pettigrew was a trigger. She knew Bellatrix, Greyback and Malfoy were all triggers, thankfully all of them were out of Hogwarts. Meeting Lucius Malfoy in Diagon Alley had led to nightmares back in her private room before term, however she had been able to get out of the nightmares. Last night she couldn't. Nothing she did could get her out of the hell she was re-experiencing. It was only when she felt a secure comfort take over her body and soothe her could she escape, and when she woke up she realized what had helped.
James. James had helped her escape her nightmare. James had soothed her soul. James had helped her feel secure and safe.
She heard a groan from above her and her eyes snapped open to find the source, and there he was. James. James had fallen asleep with her. She looked at the boy, no man, before her and couldn't help admiring his features. He looked so calm in his sleep, his eyes without their laugh line crinkles, and his mouth open slightly, missing that mischievous grin. He could be so carefree and fun, but also so calming and serious, and now he was peaceful and content.
While she was admiring his features James had started to wake up. He woke to the tickle of Hermione's hair on his face and he smiled at the thought of waking up with her in his arms. He kept his eyes closed and pulled her in for a tighter snuggle while getting a whiff of her lavender and parchment scent. It was a wonderful way to wake up. Until he realized what else woke up with him. His eyes snapped open and he quickly rolled onto his back away from her before she noticed and felt uncomfortable with him, that was the last thing he wanted.
"Good morning," Hermione greeted shyly. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with how quickly he rolled away from her when he realized he fell asleep with her, she knew she wasn't one of the many attractive girls she was sure James had been with, but she thought maybe he at least liked her.
"Hello Mi, good sleep?" he asked slightly strained. He refrained from looking at her, he knew she would be absolutely stunning in the morning, but he had to contain his growing erection before he did something he might regret. He was sure she liked him, but she had been through so much he didn't want her to think he was just a hormonal, horny teenage boy.
"Better," was all she replied. She sat up in the bed and picked up some clothes before walking to the bathroom, "I'm going to shower, I'll see you at breakfast?" James nodded and watched her walk away, his eyes unable to move from her delectable ass swaying back and forth. He had to get to his own dorm and have a cold shower, he was so tempted to just run up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her neck and drag her to the shower and have his naughty way with her, but he couldn't. No he had to court her properly, show her how much she meant to him, for saving all of them, for saving him, for being herself. He needed to make her his, no one else could have her.
James needed to get to his shower now, his erection was pushing painfully on his boxers, but he still had to get out of this dorm, through the common room, and into his own dorm. He jumped up and ran out of the room to the stairs, and started running down. Unfortunately, it seemed that Mary put the jinx back on the stairs as he went sliding down the stairs, landing face first in the common room. He could hear the giggles of some girls that were making their way to breakfast but he didn't care, he had to get into his room quickly. He didn't need anyone to see him in his current situation, that would be a bit too embarrassing for his first day of classes. He finally made it into the Head Dorm common room and up to the bathroom, he was sure he heard Lily when he closed the door behind him but he ignored her. He would talk to her about their Head duties at breakfast. He turned on the shower and set it at a cold temperature before stripping, releasing his cock from its constraints. He stepped into the shower and tried to will away his train of thoughts, he had to control his desire before he could go down to breakfast.
He didn't know what Hermione was doing to him, he had been with plenty of girls. He had taken virgins, and girls with more experience, he had done it in empty classrooms, broom closets, and the prefect bathroom, he had had two girls at once, and one girl with another man. He had had many experiences with many women, hell he even experimented with a man before, but nothing had gotten him going like Hermione. And all he did was sleep with her, literally sleep, he hadn't even felt her lips on his yet. He knew they would be soft, she seemed like she would know exactly what she liked, he could tell she was bossy but he had a feeling in the bedroom she liked to be ordered around.
James sighed as he realized his thoughts were not stopping, Hermione was burrowed in there, images of pinning her to the bed, her wrists under his hand as his other hand explored her body. Her legs wrapped around his waist. He gave in, he turned the shower temperature hotter and he reached down and wrapped his hand around his cock and started stroking.
He imagined having her there with him, naked in the shower as he finally laid his lips on hers. One hand in her unruly curls while the other held her waist. Her lips were so soft, his tongue brushing her bottom lip asking, her mouth gladly welcoming him. She kissed him back hard, bruising their lips from devouring one another. When they broke for air James started kissing her across the curve of her jaw, to below her ear causing her to tremble, before he took her ear lobe in his mouth and nibbled. She whimpered at his kisses, moaning his name and it wasn't long before his hands started roaming her wet, soaking body, her delicious curves and perfect tits.
James pictured himself picking Hermione up so she could wrap her legs around his hips and pressed her back against the tiles. His erection pushed against her wet core, his hand started stroking harder at the thought of him pressed so close to her entrance. In his imagination he didn't hold back, he knew his first time with Hermione would be slow and oh so teasing, but not in his current state. He could feel himself building up to his release, he thought of thrusting into her entrance until he bottomed out, a guttural moan escaping her lips. He pulled out completely and thrust back into her soaking cunt, the tightness of her causing him to lose his mind at the feeling. He moaned as he felt his abdomen and balls tighten from the oncoming orgasm, cumming harder than he ever had before. He caught himself before slipped when his knees buckled, the best wank he'd ever had to a girl before.
He really needed to try and kiss her before showers became more common for him.
-oOo-
Hermione's first day of classes went by quickly, she kept her head down, and kept quiet. She barely spoke to her new friends, and she avoided the Marauders. She knew she shouldn't, she was there to help them, but after her first few interactions she had determined she just wasn't ready. Mary, Dorcas and Marlene watched her sadly from a distance, they didn't talk to her about her nightmares or her past. Lily had managed to whisper to her that they would let her speak to them whenever she was ready, but they respected her privacy if she chose not to. She was grateful to her friends for understanding her quietness and reservations, she knew they wouldn't let her stay away for long and draw into herself, but she was happy for the space she currently had to get her head right.
James watched her all day, concerned glances and slight frowns. He knew the nightmare was why she was withdrawing, but he had hoped that staying with her all night and waking with her in the morning she would feel more comfort in his presence but she was staying away from him. He hoped it was just temporary like with the rest of their friends, but a part of him worried that she was like Remus. Worried that she wasn't worthy of affection, of love. He already cared for her a great deal, he could not imagine his life without this witch in his life now, he would fight every day to prove to her that he cared for if he had to. Even if just as a friend, he wanted more, needed more, he would prove to her she deserved it, but if she chose another he would accept it. As long as she felt worthy.
Hermione's fear was in her openness, she had longed to speak to her best friends so much that she had just substituted James, Sirius and Remus as them. Spoken so freely without thinking about the people around her, when that was the most important mission she had. Hermione had been in this time for two weeks, it had been two weeks since she lost everyone, and a month since her torture and she was given a second chance. But she still didn't feel deserving. How could she help anyone when she couldn't even fight off her nightmares? Couldn't even be in the same space as Pettigrew without it triggering her? He was the mission, yet she was unable to face him. Not after last night. She flinched every time she saw him throughout the day, sat as far from him as she could. Her fear of him could be her undoing and she had to somehow get past it.
Another person from last night; James. James again. It was always back to James. She knew he felt something, something for her, he made an effort to talk to her, kept shooting her concerned glances all day, always wanting to touch her in some way. But she couldn't, wouldn't do that to him, he deserved someone like him, carefree and happy. Not broken and alone like her. Broken, alone, and tormented. No one could love her.
To avoid her friends Hermione sat in the library after classes and read over her Animagus book, if she knew anything it was that meditation may help her nightmares. Even find freedom as her form running in the woods, even if it wasn't small and useful for missions, it could help her. She would do this on her own, James offered to help but she wasn't going to accept it, she needed to keep her distance from the handsome raven haired man.
Sitting in the same library one stack over, hidden from Hermione's direct sight, sat Severus Snape and Regulus Black. Severus had cast Muffliato around their desk preventing anyone from hearing their conversation.
"Severus, we're running out of time, He wants to meet on Friday. We need a plan," Regulus spoke. To most he would sound calm and collected as he spoke, but Severus could hear the fear and panic.
"Regulus, I am thinking. We can't just stroll up to this girl. Especially us," Severus replied, "She is Gryffindor and a muggleborn, already we shouldn't speak to her, add in the fact she is friends with your brother and Lily, well that just complicates it further."
"She is only wanted because of them!" Regulus snapped, "they are in danger because of us, because of my family, Potter's family."
"No. Because of Him!" hissed Severus.
Before Regulus could reply they were interrupted, Severus released his silencing spell and greeted their new guest.
"Mulciber" Regulus nodded his greeting as Severus spoke.
"Severus, Regulus, I hope I find you well after the first day," Mulciber spoke politely, "Lucius sends his regards, and a message"
"We were under the impression of seeing Lucius on Friday," drawled Regulus, his tone remaining bored but his eyes alert and suspicious.
"A friend we all share has decided to meet with you sooner. Bring the rat. Tomorrow, sunset. If you disappoint him, our friend will see that you are aware of what happens to failures," smirked Mulciber as he delivered Lucius' message. He strutted away proudly at delivering a veiled threat from his Master.
Hermione jumped behind a bookshelf when she saw Mulciber coming, she wasn't sure but it seemed that he paused when he walked by where she was hiding. Almost like he sensed that she was there, he shook his head and continued on. Hermione slid down the bookshelf and rested her head back against it, her head swirling as it thought over what she heard.
Voldemort had asked for Snape, Regulus, and Pettigrew, they were to meet on Friday but now it had been moved up. During the week during school was dangerous, risky, yet Voldemort was willing to take that risk. Which meant he had learnt something that he needed his inside spies to know, but not just any spies. Pettigrew, Snape, and Regulus. Her three main points in this time, the traitor, the double agent, and the defector. She needed the latter two, the former could be crucio'd to death for all she cared.
It was time to befriend Severus and Regulus, but should she speak to them before informing the Marauders? Probably. Sirius and Lily would likely feel betrayed by her speaking to them, yet they were meeting Voldemort tomorrow and she didn't know when. This was likely her only chance before they took Pettigrew before his Master and is delivered plans or news.
"Excuse me, what are you doing on the floor?" a voice spoke above her.
She looked up into the grey eyes of Regulus Black, standing beside him were the black eyes of Severus Snape. It looked like her decision was taken from her, and they had made the decision instead.
It was time to befriend Severus Snape and Regulus Black; the Mudblood and the Defectors.
"Wrackspurts," was all she managed to say.
-oOo-
A/N: Read and Review! Little shorter than my other chapters, but hope you enjoyed nonetheless.
So that was my first attempt at smut in this story and it was a bit awkward with it being in his thoughts, but we'll get to some HG/JP soon. She's being a little stubborn atm, but we'll get there. Just hearing the conversation with Mulciber kicked her into gear for her mission and now we get to go into her friendship with the Slytherin's. I'm excited to write their conversations actually.