"What happened?" Steve asked, pulling you into the room. You sat your bag down and followed him to the bed, sitting on it. He turned on the light, then froze when he looked at your neck. "I'll kill him." He growled, heading for the door. You jumped up to stop him. "No, Steve, stop. He didn't mean to. He's been having nightmares again since Shuri's been in his head."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly. You shrugged. "It has never been this bad."
He glanced down at your bag on the floor. "Ally, what happened?"
You sighed, going back to the bed and sitting, healing your neck first so your throat would stop hurting. You cleared your throat before continuing. "I woke up with his hand around my throat, the new one, and it took a minute for me to get him to realize what was happening. Once he did, he backed away, and when he saw my neck, he told me that he and I were a mistake and that I needed to go back to New York and be with someone who didn't try to kill me in my sleep." You sobbed out.
Steve pulled you to him and rested his head on top of yours. "I'm so sorry Ally, I'll talk to him." You pulled back. "No. I don't want to force him to be with me Steve. He has to heal, and if he feels like he can't do that with me, then I'm not going to force him. He's already been forced to do so much; I won't take that away from him. He wants me to go, so I'll go."
Steve sighed, and you felt him nod. "Okay. We'll go in the morning okay? I don't want to wake anyone up right now, it's the middle of the night. Come on, lets try and get some sleep okay?" He said. You nodded and scooted back up on the bed, laying so you were facing Steve. He turned the light off and pulled you to him, running his hand up and down your back while you sobbed,
"I love him so much Steve. We've been through so much; I can't do this without him." You whispered.
"I know. He's being stupid. You know how he gets in his own head. He'll come around, I know he will, just give him time Ally." You nodded, not sure if you believed him or not, drifting off to sleep.
When you woke up, Steve wasn't in the room, so you guessed he went to fine everyone to tell them that they were leaving. You washed your face and looked in the mirror. Pulling out Bucky's tags, you held them in your hand until Steve came back. He told you Bucky was in the lab so you wouldn't run into him. You were relieved. You weren't sure you'd make it to the jet in one piece if you saw him.
Steve led you out of his room, and as you passed by Bucky's you hung his tags on the door handle. You were surprised to see Tony, Wanda, Vision, Loki and Thor waiting at the jet for you.
"Come on buttercup, let's get you home." Tony said, putting an arm around your shoulder and leading you up into the jet. "You guys didn't have to come with me." You told them.
"Nonsense Lady Allison, you are upset and you are family. We can be here in no time if we are needed." You smiled, leaning into Tony. "Thank you all, really."
Everyone got into their seats while Steve too the pilot chair. Tony never left your side. "So, did Steve tell you everything?" You asked him. "He told me enough. Look, if you never wanna see him again, I'm down, you want to burn all his shit? I'm down for that too. You want a couple of Norse Gods to beat him within an inch of his life? They're down. Whatever you want to do. We are here for you. Nobody hurts my buttercup." You smiled.
"I just wanna go home Tony."
"Then home it is."
You froze when you opened the door to your room at the compound. Yours and Bucky's. Walking in, you sat on the bed, Bucky's side of the bed, laying down. It smelled like him. Like his body wash and cologne. Tears started falling down your face as you clutched his pillow to you.
"Sweetheart, you don't need to be in here." Steve said from your doorway. You sat up, pillow still in your hand. "I can't sleep in here Steve. It's too hard." You whispered. He nodded and came over to you, kneeling down. "What do you need out of here, I'll bring everything to my room, you can stay there as long as you need to."
You had him grab all your stuff from the bathroom, and he nearly cleaned out the drawers and closet of your clothes. He even grabbed your Captain America fleece blanket, something he had gotten you as a joke gift for Christmas, but you loved it.
After dinner and a movie with the rest of the group, you followed Steve back to his room. Thankfully nobody asked you about Bucky, you figured Steve or Tony gave them a nicer version of what happened. Steve offered to take the couch when you got to his room and you rolled your eyes.
"That's silly Steve, we've slept in the same bed before, and besides, I really don't think I can sleep alone. I haven't done it in so long you know?" He nodded and went to get ready for bed, while you turned on the TV. Finding some old black and white show to watch, you got under the covers and was asleep before Steve came back out of the bathroom.
The days bled into weeks and you honestly didn't even know how long it had been since you left Wakanda. You were barely sleeping, and when you did, you were waking Steve up with your nightmares about Bucky, sobbing into his chest until you fell back asleep again. You only ate when Steve brought food to you, because you never left his room. Everyone had come to visit you at least once, Loki even tried to get you to come work on your magic with him, but you just couldn't make yourself get up.
Finally, one day, Thor came in and picked you up out of the bed much to your protesting and took you outside. You hissed like a vampire at the sun in your eyes, dramatically throwing your arm over them. Thor chuckled and sat you down in front of Loki. "That was rude." You told him.
"Come on darling. You haven't been out of Steve's room in weeks, you needed to get outside, get some fresh air. And what better way to work through your problems than to use some magic!" He beamed.
"Loki, there are so many movies that show that's a bad idea." You told him, shaking your head. HE came around behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. "Come on. Just like we'd been practicing." You nodded, closing your eyes and trying to relax. You felt the familiar burst of cold flow over you, and when you opened your eyes, Thor was smirking at you.
"What?" You asked him. He shrugged. "Nothing, I just like seeing you like this Lady Allison. You truly are remarkable when you let yourself just be you. And so beautiful." You rolled your eyes at him. "He's right you know." Loki purred in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
"Okay, God of Mischief, stop that." You told him, moving toward Thor. You put one foot back, and raised your hands, sending out as many shards as you could. Thor flew up into the air to dodge them, and you smiled. That was the most you had ever made.
You ate dinner in the common room that night with the rest of the team. You even smiled once or twice. Your phone buzzed and you looked down, seeing a text from Clint.
Hawkey: What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill?
You: I don't know, what.
Hawkey: Walking.
Hawkey: JK Rolling.
You almost choked on your food, getting weird looks from everyone at the table.
You: Omfg. That was great. Thank you. I needed that.
Hawkey: I know, Nat called. Are you okay?
You: I'm getting there.
And you were. Everyday was better, you were talking more, you were working on your magic more, you were living. Each day your heart was healing a little more.
It had been two months since you left Wakanda and you found yourself sitting on the couch in the TV, watching Game of Thrones, a show you had started with Thor and Loki, they got hooked immediately. "I can't believe they've killed Ned!" Loki exclaimed, sitting on the edge of his seat. You nodded. "I agree Joffrey is a little shit. And Sansa is a little bitch baby." Loki laughed at that, and it was true. At the beginning, you hated Sansa, well for most of the show you did until after Bolton. You felt your eyes getting tired and before you knew it, you were leaning on Loki's shoulder, falling asleep.
When you woke up, a few episodes had passed, and you noticed that your head was in Loki's lap and he was running a hand through your hair. Not that you minded, because it felt amazing, and you would literally be putty whenever someone did that to you. Bucky rarely did it. You smiled and closed your eyes, letting sleep claim you again.
The next time you woke up, you were in your room. Had Loki brought you in here? Glancing at the clock, you noticed it was almost one in the morning. You had been asleep for almost five hours. Groaning, you went to use the bathroom and brush your teeth, before venturing out into the main kitchen to see if anyone was up.
You stopped when you saw Loki, sitting at the counter, drinking something from a glass, a dark brown liquid not dark enough to be coffee. Maybe it was the Asgardian mead Thor was always bringing. Loki noticed you and smiled. "Well hello sleepyhead." He said softly. You smiled and went over to the fridge, grabbing a water. "I can't believe I slept that long. I'm sorry for falling asleep on you." You offered, looking down.
You heard him chuckle. "It's quite alright Ally, it didn't bother me at all, I quite liked it." Your head shot up. "You did?" You squeaked out. Why were you suddenly nervous? "Of course." Loki answered, getting up off the stool and walking toward you, caging you between him and the counter. "Not everyday a beautiful woman falls asleep on your shoulder, couldn't pass that up." He whispered, leaning down closer to you. Your breathing quickened and you looked up into Loki's eyes. He had been casually flirting with you over the past few weeks, mostly little jabs in your training sessions.
He couldn't really like you, could he? He was a freaking God. And you were still heartbroken over Bucky, but that didn't mean you found his flirting unwanted. It felt nice. "Is everything alright darling?" He asked. His little pet name for you rolling off his tongue. You nodded and he closed the space between you, claiming your lips with his soft ones.
He went slow, testing the waters about how you felt, before running his tongue across your bottom lip, asking permission. You opened your mouth, granting it to him and in one swift movement he had you on the counter, his arms around your waist, standing in between your legs. Your hands went up his arms and tangled in his hair. It had gotten longer, like Bucky's.
Bucky.
You whimpered and pulled away from him. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." He nodded, resting his forehead against yours. "No, I'm sorry Ally, I shouldn't have been so forward." You looked up at him with wide eyes. "No Loki, it wasn't your fault, I just…I'm not over Bucky, and I don't know if I ever will be, and that's not fair to you because you are amazing, and any girl will be lucky to have you." He smiled and helped you off the counter, walking you back to your room and kissing you on the forehead before you shut the door behind you.
A part of you wished that you could have given yourself to Loki. You knew that he would treat you like a Queen. But you just couldn't. Half of your heart was missing.
And he didn't want anything to do with you.