No notable reviews to point out here, surprisingly, no gore this chapter, shocking I know!
Ziden POV
The world felt like it was spinning when I finally came to, jesus, did someone get the name of that truck that hit me?...Not like me to underestimate a foe that badly, that mist probably really messed me up. But where am I? No, this is too soft to be the street and too comfy, what in the world happened.
Ah right, I got laid out by a damn midget oni and got my body wrecked up something fierce, but here I am, in a bed and in a familiar one too. This is my bed, but how in the hell did I get back here. Well, time to find out, leaving my bed and finding myself dressed in pajamas...must have been Yukari's doing or Ran. Slippers on my feet and out of the room I go.
" I cannot believe you would something so utterly reckless like this and let someone control you." That's Yukari's voice.
" Eh, s'nothing major happened from my mist going to and fro, seems like a non issue in my opinion." And there was that gremlin rtight there, sitting there with many knots on her head and an annoyed Reimu. " Sides, we got a gappy here, he'll fix it or whatever."
" Yeah I am not fixing any shit you broke." and I finally spoke up as she looked at me. " Sides, with you stopped, that mess should be over right?" I notice the surprised look on her face.
" Eh, hold on a second, thought you Yukari toys liked hoping in and being th' hero?" I snort at that, I heard about em earlier.
" sorry but unless its something that personally affects me, I don't take over the duties of someone else's work." Translation, I do not get involved in these kinds of affairs unless it ends up in my lap, or hitting me in the face.
" Yeah, apparently, guy here doesn't have the Gappy mentality. Which, while refreshing, is somewhat annoying since it means I still have to work." Reimu laying it out there.
" Besides, he is gonna have to clean this mess up, even if he refuses." And there was a letter in Yukari's hand and I know that letter head. A sword and shield emblem meant the Association. Now that I think about it, the air still smells kinda sweet.
Tearing the letter open, i see exactly what is happening.
Special Quest: Disperse the Mist of Madness.
A mysterious Mist has been pouring out of a massive cowboyesque saloon that has been causing chaos to tear through the people akin to drunkeness that has drawn out the deep desires of the pizza. A human seems to be behind this mess, after hijacking an Oni's power through unknown means. Rank A.
Oh lovely, so I am gonna be dealing with this now. And while I was reading, seems they were still talking about it since Suika seems confused.
" So, lemme get this straight, the spiky hair there, isn't into that whole, weird Gappy stuff people did back in the day?" Suika was rubbing her temples, they were still on this.
" Well, its more that, he has already been on his adventures and he simply follows his own rules for dealing with incidents like ours." Yukari hit it on the nail, so imma come and explain it.
" Basically, from what I hear from Yukari, gappies have this issue where they have to play the hero and save you helpless babes from whatever trouble they get into. Which is why I hear alot of them dying awfully here, like that kid escaping from weird gods, some dude with a coat hanger or something, and that Christian kid. If they aren't being gappies, they are being dumb and just get slaughtered. I have experience in this kinda thing so I tend to be aware of what to do and what not to do." I tap my arm while looking down at her. " which is leave your incidents to you guys. However, due to Gensokyo being gone, whatever stuff you guys were supposed to go through, will likely be missions we deal with now."
" Aight, got it chief, so basically, you did a bunch of shit instead of being a loser with no friends, and now you're a seasoned hero whose an asshole." Wow, she said all that just to swing at me huh.
" so, what was the quest?" And Marisa popped out of the kitchen, plate full of pancakes.
" Well apparently someone jacked short round's powers and are using them to cause even more trouble. We are being told to head in and take care of it." Well, this ought to be fun, I am aching for a good fight. " Seems the leader's name is..." Oh wow, they even got a picture, The Wild Gun of the Sun, Ray Chaser.
Large fancy cowboy hat with tassels, an insignia of the sun, a flowing brown poncho, a bit of facial stubble, white, sharp green eyes that seemed to be able to pierce into me just from his gaze alone, medium build, looks like he has some bulk and the typical cowboy antics underneath that poncho.
" wow, do people in this land actually dress like this?" Reimu asked a good question.
" Nah, used to, back in the old days before many of you were alive, well, minus Moonhead and Fire crotch, The west was wild and untamed, so many Americans decided to tame it, the era of the cowboy, which this guy seems to still be living." I even rubbed my jaw, pressing my hand on the tablet to accept the quest as a powerful chill ripped through us. Ah shit, this is gonna be a helluva quest, ain't it.
" I am gonna ask about what the hell a cowboy is in a minute, but what in the hell was that feeling?!" Marisa of course, saw herself rubbing her arms.
" The feeling of taking a quest, a special one, if you get that chill, usually means this quest is gonna be a hard one." Watching the tablet soon vanish into thin air, my eyes are drawn out the window back to that building I fought Suika at.
" Ray Chaser, guy got a funny name. But I am guessing that we shouldn't underestimate this guy in this case?" Reimu asked while she was resting that Gohei on her shoulder and I nod in response.
" Yeah, never underestimate your opponents in this field of work, remember, there is no Spell Card rules protecting you from monsters and even humans here." Crossing my arms I was ready for a fight once we head into this place.
" I'm coming along, it is gonna be so boring to not be able to fight Mokou, so, might as well see what humans are like in the outside world these days." Kaguya seems in.
" I'm coming since this is an Incident." Reimu joined in, while I saw in her eyes, she likely had a bit of hesitation. I had a feeling on what it is.
" Yeah, this isn't like the raid earlier, these are humans who are likely brainwashed, so if you can help it, don't kill, just take em out to unconsciousness. No reason to cause a bigger mess after all." I explained while I see her exhale.
" Good, I despise the idea of having to kill a human. The building he is in seems to seems to be like a big ole bar." Reimu was even looking at it outside of our window with us, Marisa seemed excited.
" Ooo boy, a brawl in a bar, always wanted to be in one! Only this time, its gonna be explosion city!" Marisa was, a bit too excited for this
The jerking of the vehicle stopped and I can feel that we are that the place, a big ass building with a gate around it. Hah, our first dungeon as a group. Well, we got our fighters, and I got our potions stocked, lets get to work then. Our first dungeon mission.
Reimu POV
I will never get the appeal of these weird outfits, western folks are so, odd with how they were in the old days but i guess the appeal of settling a new area and having adventures in it does sound fun, maybe I would be like them if I were born in that era?
But that shouldn't be on my mind, us passing through these gates into this place is, as soon as we entered, I could smell it, a familiar smell of death I ahve gotten used to from seeing Youkai prey on the innocent Gappy. Looking to my right, I can see a weird wooden platform, with bodies hanging from rope, and their bodies, looked like they were torn apart. Chunks taken off. Not by people, must be those weird birds.
Pink heads and fluffy things around their necks. Are they youkai? No, not the time to think about that right now, focus on walking into this building and getting ready to kick some ass. Marisa is on my right, Ziden on hers and Suika is walking, well, sluggishly walking with us and Kaguya is just, casually walking with that dress of hers dragging on the ground, does she not care if that gets ruined or anything? Well, I guess not if you're a Royal type.
Once we entered the Saloon, we merely made ourselves known by clearing our throats and seeing every type in this place staring us down like were animals, big men, short ones and even a rotund on, all pasty of skin and rocking similar cowboy outfits, looks like if you got a bunch of nerds and had em dress up like this.
" Well looky here *hich*, we got ourselves some uninvited guests in our Utubuwas." Utubu...what? Do they mean Utopia? These guys, are not the brightest, or they are drunk off their asses.
" Yeah, i think we ought to kick their sorry asses, and keep the pretty ones as Bar wenches for eye candy!"
" Aren't they a lil young looking for-"
" Shut up Frank!"
Well, these guys are very much idiots but. " Sorry, but I am not into the whole ' carry around drinks and look pretty for idiots' thing, I am very much, however, into the ' tell us where your boss is and we won't kick your asses' thing though."
" Wow, straight to violence? How ladylike." Shut up Kaguya, I want this over with and done with, now, lets get this done with so I can go home and rest. Who knew being a hunter would be so troublesome.
" Shut it, I just want this over an-" And I just saw Ziden leaping right over the crowd between us and these rowdy folks to the stairs. " What!?"
" Sorry, but I'll be taking on the big guy, you guys deal with the small guys as training to deal with possessed foes not in their right mindset. You can break limbs but be sure ya plan on healing them afterwards." Look at him giving us advice, well, this is true, better to get experience now and not later where its an even more dangerous situation.
" Hah, think you're gonna rough us up girlies, then come on, Papa bill's gonna show ya some manners!" Ugh, and its the gross fat one in the cowboy outfit that barely fits. Always gonna be trouble.
" Bar fight!" And instantly, I see Marisa picking up a chair and quite literally smashing it over the head of an unsuspecting fighter when he was looking at Ziden run off, and down he goes, wow, seems like Marisa is about to have fun.
" Honestly, roughhousing is not my specialty." Then why did you come then Kaguya?
" alright, its time for an oni to- oh shit, is that Alcohol!?" And Suika literally leapt at the bar like a literal cat. " Gimme your strongest drinks!"
Of course, well, I guess its gonna be our job to handle these idiots. Many back home think that i am helpless in an upclose fight but as a Shrine Maiden, we are often taught how to deal with rowdy folks if they become troublesome. I'm nowhere near someone like Meiling's level but when it comes to taking out someone.
A sidestep to avoid a punch coming for my head, a grip, a twist and a strong throw that slammed the drunk cowboy in my grasp clean through a table.
I can do a damn good job. Would be nice if Meiling was here, she'd love this probably.
Ziden POV
Well, well well, there he is, up here in this upstairs bar that looks primed and ready for a fancy showdown, tables ready to be flipped over and a large ass window that over looks the plaza of this place, there he was, standing right before me, looking out at the mini haven he had created in this place.
" So, those scum licking varmints did end up sending someone after me, huh?" Yeah, they sent me, the guy used to just handling deserters or trouble makers like this, that and I was the closest one here.
" Yeah, so lets not make this hard, surrender and we can end this without an assbeating." A simple command to give but I wanted to relax, hell, after this, I can go back to Japan and just relax on the rest of my vacation. And just train these runts.
" Now now, Mr Hunter, we certainly can't do that, don't ya know, a cowboy never surrenders without a fight." Hands that reached down to revolvers, he was gonna make this hard, wasn't he. Well, might as well humor the guy.
" Yeah and this is long past that era buddy, the sun has set on the cowboys of your type since ages past, no calm this crap down and go lead some steers like an actual cowboy."
"Absolutely not! The era of the Wild West will rise again thanks to this odd mist, weaponizing it and bringing out the primal nature of people." Oh, he's about to go into a speech. " Right now, its only dragging out their desires, letting it come free like they're drunk or rather venting out desires they have always wanted. But when I fully adjust this mist, it will rewrite the minds of everyone this mist touches and turn their minds to how the cowboys used to be. All thanks to this device." In his hand, was a remote shaped device, with a really damn familiar symbol on it but it couldn't be them, could it?
" all this just to live out your cowboy fetish? Just get a damn time machine and go back at that point!" Honestly, why go through all of this trouble for this!?
" Why live through something I already know, you dog gone city slicker! I will make a new era, a new world for us, and no one, no one is stopping my dream. So come on, you boot looking scoundrel, I'm taking you out, right here and now." His hands reached down for those guns and I finally saw what they were
Deadeye Series: Revolver. A Gun series supposedly made by a gunsmith cursed, or blessed depending on how ya view it, by Apollo of all Gods. When fired, they make sure their mark is hit, dodging them is not an option unless you can move as fast as a lightning strike, which in a place like this, would be an awful idea. Would blast this place apart from how enclosed it is. So the only other option is the deflect the shots with your own or cut them down.
And I wanna test out my new guns.
Boss Battle Intro ( 3rd POV)
" Now draw city slicker!" A quick whip of his hands and a draw, the defeaning bang of the hammer unleashing a bullet and firing two shots towards Ziden.
And he responded in Kind, Pulling out those red and blue pistols and firing red and blue bullets that clashed right in midair with his rounds, causing Ray Chaser to click his teeth.
The Two men eying each as their bullets landed on the floor between them. The duo eying each other down before Ziden charges right towards him. " Real slick, ain't ya!?"
Their guns aimed down right at the other as time seemed to slow down
The Wrong Era Cowboy: Ray Chaser
We are Finally Cowboys ( no more Heroes)
Ziden POV
Bang Bang Bang, is all I can hear after I charged him, our bullets slamming down into each other anc canceling each other out, that's a six chamber, all I gotta do is get him to burn out his bullets and beat his ass.
His eyes are squinted, a swift kick and I find a table coming right for me. A leap up and I kick it right into splinters, seeing him firing two more shots. Bullets of fire and ice met his bullets of metal, the air filled with sparks and blasts of our shots colliding in the air. That was six.
" Tch." and like lightning, i remember why Cowboys cannot be trifled with, a swift motion and the cylinder popped out, shell casings drop onto the floor, almost instantly replaced with bullets. Son of a bitch, this guy isn't just a Cowaboo, this guy actually practiced speedy reloads in case of a shoot out. Seeing it click back in, I am quick to just unload fire down onto him.
The heat and cold of the gun I can feel on my palms, and it sure wasn't getting pleasent, having to focus on him while moving away. His boots hit the floor and instantly dicked behind a table and sees why that was a bad idea. Ice and fire shattered against wood and things got hot real fast. My guns were overheating and cooling, I was told to press the button on the side with my palm. Slots opened up on the gun and steam and mist vented out of the guns into the air. What a loud damn hiss this is.
" Now!" Once he saw I wasn't firing anymore, he instantly took two shots at me, the first I deflected with the gun the second buried itself into my shoulder, can feel the sting of it tearing into muscle and lodging into bone. And I don't waste anytime, instantly fired upon him, seeing the bullets slam into his poncho and causing his body to shake from the impacts, they get into the flesh and burn in their own ways
Ice burns and fire burns, a common thing they share, can see even under that mask, his teeth is gritting, normal bullets hurt, but bullets made of elements, now that is a clincher. Waste no more time, my shoes slamming down on a table and I leap right at him. A swift kick right to the kick to the ribs, I feel him falter, a swift kick to the neck, i feel him fall to his knee, and an axe Kick to the skull. His face eats the wood and it even shatters under the impact. He's even sliding backwards from the hit.
The guy has a good gun but I held back enough that it should be more than enough to knock out a human of his caliber.
Or so I thought, considering I see bullets flying right at me, Quick reactions prompted me to fire and fire, watching him roll and get up quickly. My ears can hear the dripping of blood down on the floor, I got him bleeding atleast, that's good. Its very good. Spinning his revolvers, now he's being fancy, at the height of the spins, he is firing them off, bullets that shoot up but reaim themselves to come straight for for me.
Leaving me to shoot down everyone that comes right for me, the deafeaning bangs of his guns, man I am gonna have hearing troubles after this for a moment or two. Even my own guns are getting loud. 12 shots total. Alright, time to vent this gun and get ready for-
" Heh, cannot believe you fell for that, ya City slicking idiot." What? That click. Son of a bitch, he reloaded while I was
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!
Those 6 shots that hit me square in the body and head, out of all weapon types, guns are the least effective against me due to their low amount of damage to my healing unless the guns are super strong. And these woods, they were nothing, letting myself fall and slam down to the ground, letting my guns keep venting and my wounds to not heal. I can hear the chuckle coming from his lips.
" Lookie here, looks like this City boy's a dead boy now. Shame, he had some skill to him with a pistol." Hah, this is my first time using this weapon type. But I am gonna wait for these guns to finish venting and then I am gonna.
BZZAAAANGGGG!
And from my eyes, I can literally see a laser shooting up from the floor and quite cleanly burning through the floor and then the ceiling, what the hell.
" What in the hell was that?!" Guns vented, time to roll. A Kip up and I am back up onto my feet. " How the fuck are you still alive!?" Oh his fake cowboy accent is gone. From my pockets, I throw out a multitude of coin mirrors that soon float around him.
" Storm Waltz." And my two guns fire into the mirrors, creating 4 lasers that dance around him, making him dance from how face the bullets moved between the mirrors, all before tearing through his knees, shoulders and then hands. The force blasting and freezing the parts that got blasted into.
" Gah! Son, of a bitch!" Those guns hit the floor, and I waste Zero time on this follow up, tackling him right to the window and cleanly smashing right through it. Pushing his upper half against my body and lifting him high over my shoulders. " Wait, hold on a second dude! You cant." I can, even in midair, I am gonna do what I do best. Holding him high and then slamming him down with a wicked Powerbomb from the second floor, gross and earth itself exploded upwards and I could even feel the ground shake from it.
Once the dust cleared a good bit, I could see the crater I left behind and the twitching body of the Cowboy in the middle of it. A long sigh left my lips as the bullets in my flesh pushed out of the holes and hit the earth, feeling my wounds close spinning my guns, I put them away back into their holsters inside of my jacket. Honestly, not bad at all.
" Hey, bird boy, yoho, guessing that was yo- okay come on, why a Power Bomb?" Oh, Kaguya came out first and, she has blood on her, and a arm that is clearly not hers. I am staring at her hard. " Oh come now, the guy messed with my hair, I had to respond to his act of terrorism properly. A laser removal; of his arm.
You cannot see my face right now, but I am pinching my nose hard, why did I bring her here. Atleast it seems like Marisa and Reimu had fun, minus the fact Reimu was carrying a drunk Oni out with her and Marisa had quite the shiner but she looked damn proud of it.
" Of course, after this, I require proper payment, a princess should not be getting so down and dirty like she is some bar skank." But that is what you are though, fine whatever, if it will shut her up. I am more focused on mcTwitchy here, searching around his body, i pull out the remote like device from before and hit the button on it, watching the Mist shake for a moment before slowly dispersing from the area.
Flipping over the Device, I can see Reimu peeking over my shoulder to look at the symbol with me. " What is that?"
Exactly what I thought it was, A bear's skull with a Sword and a sickle going through it. " ITs the Insignia of the Russian Branch of the association, what in the world are they doing?" I wonder, looking at the device before opening my phone and calling the clean up and medic crew.
Hours Later...
Once they had arrived a few hours ago, they got to work cleaning this up and burying the bodies these guys created, a bit of mind wiping and Amnestics here and there and they will all think this was a weird dream they had. A Teleporter pad was set up for us since we could finally go back home to the states, all while I spoke to a secretary of one of the Main branch's higher ups.
" If this is true and they are involved, this is indeed bad. Honestly, Lady Yaurus even brought this up years ago that letting each Country get a branch was a bad idea due to how...politically stupid they can get. If they are trying to use Gensokians in some bid for power, then we have got trouble."
" Yeah, after speaking with Kaguya, when they found her after she was, in her words, entertaining a guard, they said they slapped a chip on her that had that same symbol on it." Reimu chipped in as well. So they are the one behind the control chips? Troublesome.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that the guy who Kaguya blasted an arm off of, got it reattached nice and dandily. There are more Gensokyo Inhabitant signals here but it seems that, by some odd reason, they aren't active right now, like they are sorta not able to be gotten right now. Meaning we are heading back to Japan to gather the active Signals there. Plenty of them too.
" Ah yes, Mr Icrim, when you get back to Japan, you're gonna be In charge of helping oversee some Rookies on their Goblin Hunting Quest." Oh of course I am. " Tomorrow Morning in Japan time, they will meet you, of them, the Martial Artist and the Mage seems promising, and the Priestess. The Fighter, Warrior and archer are, not so much." Lovely.
" So uh, how we getting home, ze? Cuz like, I really do not feel like sitting on that plane that again, way too slow and boring for my blood." Well, lucky for her, we're getting home fast.
" I'll take care of the rookies tomorrow, what about the two remaining elemental beasts?" Almost forgot about that as I move to stand on the pad's steps.
" Unknown, as the two remaining beasts are fire and water, we are watching the heat index and the seas for any activity, if reports are right, since earth and Wind were defeated, Water would come next." Final Fantasy logic huh? Makes sense. " Just be wary, I am aware of your struggles with water."
" Your struggles?" And Marisa is staring up at me while Kaguya flicked her nose.
" He's essentially a fire elemental in a human body, Water and Ice are his weakness." And she is getting herself up onto the teleporter pad. " Great for the current winter times."
" that makes sense yeah." Reimu gets up onto the pad, albeit confused. My eyes dart to see Ray Chaser being carted into one of their Mystic Healing Vans. Once he is healed up from his injuries, straight to the main Association base to be sent to jail. Still though, if the Russian Association is making moves to take over the world or something, I really do not feel like dealing with it.
Once I step onto the teleporter, it lights up, as a familiar sound of ringing coins fills the ears, our cards all filled up with cash as the reward for our first official Mission.
20,000 Yen to each of us and 20,000 in Macca. Lucky us indeed. Once the teleporter lit up and light soon wrapped around us, all of us were blinded in a flash of light and soon, we found ourselves nice and parked in front of the Gensokyo estates, all the way back in Japan, along with the special RV we were using, with those folks getting out.
The Gate guard who was asleep, instantly awoke when she felt us near, and smiled at us. " Welcome home Boss and friends."
For once, it kinda felt nice to be welcomed home again.
Third Person POV
" another Chapter, done, whew, that was a nice one to jot down, really hard to write fight scenes in first person considering it all. I am not a fighter writer after all!" Akyuu was atleast honest.
" Yeah and no weird out of nowhere banging session. So this is a plus for me." Ziden gives a thumbs up.
" Normally a guy would be happy about that, guess you are the exception on that." Reimu pointed out. " But the Russian branch huh, that's the Icy place known for their bears and strong people right?"
" Right, surprised they are the villains of this tale, or one of them. Wonder how this madness is gonna go forward from here." Ziden said.
" Indeed, people oddly like this neat lil project of mine, its gonna be fun to keep it going and see what an alternate you gets up to." Akyuu said while Ziden sighed and shook his head.
" Seems like the guys in that world are not a fan of gappies though, judging by that talk in the beginning." Ziden rubbed his jaw a bit.
" Honestly depends, some are good, some are awful, some are just, bad to make a point of some kind but, I have a feeling we will be seeing more of that in the future." Reimu said while sitting down, as Akyuu was already working on the next chapter, a grin on that face.
Trivia:
. Gappy is the term for chars that end up in Gensokyo by being snatched up by Yukari
2. The technique Ziden used is one from Xenosaga, down to being a cool move used by coins, even Erron Black of Mortal Kombat fame uses coins to shoot off of.
3. A Reminder that kaguya and many chars are based off of their Space Jin and Raptor7 designs, minus the former's more, testicle harmy art, mainly the figures, to really show this is a far different Gensokyo cast, body wise.
4. Boss battle Intros like that are done in the style of Yakuza, down to the title card of the Foe appearing and yes, every major fight will have those in the future. And I will note if it refers to a Yakuza boss intro, unless its like, obvious
Author's Note: Well, into gonna really give ya an excuse, like I said, upload on this side story will be wonky since its mainly an experimental story that kinda will be making fun of Gappy shit, weird plot points and the really bad story and plots I have encountered on here, while an OG plot and reimagining of the stories of Touhou happen. I am very glad you guys like it though, feels weird but just know, even though I will be ragging on the usual gappy stuff of ancient time, this won't be a Diamond in the Rough type beat, don't want to be that awfully heavy handed and so, well, anti fun.
But thanks for reading this story, the next chapter will come and basically, its Goblin Slayer but with this world's Goblins, you'll like them, they are explosive As always, Read and Review