Regina was so angry her magic was practically spilling from her fingers as she made her way towards the thief's chambers. She could have poofed herself there, but at that moment, her magic was slightly out of control due to the overwhelming amount of feeling she was bearing. When she finally got to his door, however, it bore the brunt of all that bottled up rage.
It flew, it simply flew and Regina didn't give two shits about what it actually hit, if it was him, at this point, even better.
"Tell the Queen she can fuck herself today."
She had twisted the words out of that ridiculously small chamber-maid, and did not really remember what she had done to her after the revelation, Regina found she did not care in the least anyhow. All she knew was that her reality became red, and all she wanted to do was strangle the words out of the outlaw's lips, dare him to defy her in such a way to her face.
When she walked through the generous hole she had created in his wall, she noticed he was still in bed and with eyes half lidded and wrinkled sheets covering his limbs, which Regina found most indecent and attractive - his erection was quite noticeable, especially since he had a hand inside his trousers. He sat up, removing his hand from inside his pants, looking completely baffled at the remains of his door.
He looked confused and alluring, and Regina cursed herself for feeling so damn attracted to him, out of pure instinct, her magic worked almost on its own, making the heavy velvet curtains fly in his direction and hit him square in the face and chest. He went down with a loud exhale, which made Regina's chest swell with a dark kind of pleasure in hurting him somehow.
He was quick to fight the trappings of the curtains, and their eyes finally met when she stood at the foot of his bed, looking as livid as she felt. Although the feelings were only ignited when, after a mere look at her, the suicidal man started laughing without any apparent reason.
"I fail to find anything funny about this situation," she remarked in a cold tone.
"Well you have not had a chance to look in the mirror this morning then?" he asked her amidst the laughter that Regina now began to understand the reasoning behind.
His words sent a new manner of anger rushing through her veins, it was cold and cruel, and for a split second - as she fisted her hands digging her nails deep inside her palms - she was taken back more than ten years into the past to a young woman's body, a young woman who just wanted to ride, who just wanted to be free.
You cannot possibly be considering showing yourself out there like this! Her mother's cruel and judgmental words still stung. Regina could almost feel the coldness of her magic as she poofed away the riding clothes Regina wore in favor of a particularly tight dress.
The moment passed and Regina found herself with her heart beating fast with loathing – for how dare he? – and her feet took steps on their own account so she could meet him toe to toe where he stood, that irritating smirk still painted on his lips.
"What is that supposed to mean?" a pathetic side of her hoped he had been referring to some other thing, Regina found it best to just ignore it, to gulp the insults and the disapproval down like she did with her mother.
"Oh, I wouldn't dream to speak of it, your majesty," he gave her, making his accent sound more poignant than ever, he was mocking her, and she quite simply could not have that.
"I would very much like to know the reason for this-" Regina tried her hardest to pull off a face of disdain, "-sudden happiness,"
"As I am sure you are well aware, your majesty, men in general normally wake up happy," he responded and had the nerve to wiggle his eyebrows.
Regina looked down at his more than evident 'morning merriment' and scoffed in order not to lick her lips, remembering the day before and what had almost happened before Maleficent showed up and spoiled her fun. She chose to put him down, as he was clearly defying her authority and Regina could not have that, no one had power over the Queen, most certainly not a common, gorgeous, irritating thief like him.
"Were you laughing at your small number of resources to alleviate said happiness?" she laughed a bitter laugh, but laughed at him nonetheless.
"No actually-" even though two fingers covered his lips, Regina could still see the damned grin on them, "-I merely thought Queens wore crowns, not jester hats."
Regina slapped him hard, Regina hit him with all the force she wished she could have used if she ever hit her mother for all the mean and cruel commentary she made constantly about her appearance. Always too meaty, too flushed, too happy, too comfortable, too simple, never good enough.
And how dare this forest man, this savage, this animal who has lived alone in the woods for Gods know how long, dare say a word about her appearance?
She reveled in the fact he did not look as pleased with his pathetic humor after she gave him a little taste of the consequences of his merriment. Her hand stung a little because of the harsh contact but his cheek now bore a soft red tone she felt proud to have put there.
"How dare you speak to me like that?" Her voice was dead serious, quiet and grave as she tried to conceal the hurt his words had caused her, the memories they had awakened.
"What?" he hissed at her, they were both so close all of a sudden, his hot breath hit her face as he continued to defy her, "Am I the only person in this entire castle brave enough to say the truth?"
The truth?
The fact that she was indeed unfitting and pathetic? Regina could once again hear Cora's voice inside her head, the cruel words that seemed to know no limit, the ruthless magic used to punish Regina whenever she took a breath at the wrong time. The constant displeasure in her mother's eyes, the mad glee they would carry whenever Regina relented and told her she would behave, that she would do as she was told. Those eyes that told her she would never be good enough, always a disappointment.
But the thief was not her mother, he should not have been able to make her feel this way. He should not have been able to cut this deep, to bring such awful memories she had suppressed with all her might back to the surface and make her feel oh so small and unworthy.
"You're nothing" she spat at him, trying to convince herself that he had not gotten under her skin.
Those words were the furthest thing from the truth, and yet, Regina knew deep inside that they would sting, that they would hurt him and that was what she intended on doing after he had jogged those awful memories of hers.
And yet, when his blue eyes widened, hurt quickly followed by anger pooling there, making the blue a few shades darker, his features twisted in an expression of nonbelief mixed with hurt she had never seen him wear.
Her heart hammered fast inside her chest as the moment hung silent between the pair. She had been a fool to think that the silence would last, she knew he was bound to do something, say something, but Regina was not expecting what came next.
She knew he was good at what he did, she knew he was fast and swift, which was why she had kept him around at the start. But Regina was startled, to say the least, when his strong hand wrapped itself around her neck and squeezed, his eyes so dark now, almost unrecognizable and yet, so familiar, as if she could see something there that she herself felt inside, blind rage.
Regina made a fruitless attempt to take a breath but his grip was mighty, his objective painfully clear, kill her.
In reflex she, unlike most that found themselves being strangled, stretched her fingers and commanded for her magic to come, to remove his hand and throw him violently against the bed, hard enough for the piece to crumble on top of him.
She concentrated on her anger, on her years of training, on what she had always relied on, and yet, nothing happened, her fingers were left aching from the strain and her lungs still empty of oxygen, and his hand still at work on killing her.
Her vision started to blur a little and Regina became dizzier with the lack of air. His hand was sending mocking electricity jolts to her neck, and Regina tried to make a small sound telling him 'Stop' but it did not come out as she had planned.
Time seemed to stand still as she thought back to when – only twenty-four hours ago – she had thought he was trying to stab her, when in reality, he only wanted to divest her. How terrified and angry she had been at herself, for letting him in, for letting him see parts of her she had not dared share with anyone, of how foolish she had felt.
And now, now that he was actually succeeding in killing her all the anger seemed to have been drained, her brain was hazy. Her vision so blurred as she thought of how vicious, how cruel, how ironic fate was that it made her cross paths with him, and that she was finally going to meet her end at the hands of the man who made her feel most alive.
Regina was going to die, and suddenly her heart swelled with the prospect that in death she would finally be able to see her Daniel again. She was going to be reunited with her long lost love after so long, after so much suffering, after so much pain, he was going to be there for her again. Her Daniel and his sincere, loving blue eyes. She could already see the blue, but they belonged to another man, one who had snaked his way into Regina's affections and now was giving her a way to be reunited with the love of her life.
But she did not want to go
Regina's body, by this point, was almost entirely numb due to the lack of oxygen in her blood, and yet, she felt a single tear fall from her eye. She was not sure why she was shedding it, if it was for Daniel, for herself, or for him. All she knew was that it felt like a goodbye, like something was detaching itself from her, if she was saying goodbye to life – and to the man standing before her – or if she was saying goodbye to a being reunited with Daniel which she had always hoped for, she could not say.
To her utter surprise, suddenly, the pressure on her neck was gone, his fingers did not dig into her skin with mad force but slid down to her collarbone. Regina was so shocked that she simply stared back at him, even though she could hardly see him through the haze, she did not take a single breath, even though he had already released her from his deadly grip. Regina was so shocked it took her a few seconds to believe he had stopped and consequently she only took her first breath a few moments after he had released his hold.
Air invaded her lungs and it stung, she could not help but cough as the essential element invaded her system once more, it overwhelmed her at first, made her draw her gaze from the man standing before her for a few seconds.
Once she was breathing normally again, she lifted her head to meet his eye, her vision now clear as day as she met the intense blue of his stare. His hand still rested on her collarbone and Regina found it odd that she did not shove it away or disintegrate it – after all, it had been the weapon for her near demise – but let him rest it there, feeling rather comfortable with the buzzing it created on her skin, that alive feeling only he, much to her dismay, was able to provide her.
"I may work for you-" his voice broke the silence, it was croaky and low, "-but I am not your pet,"
Regina still did not feel much like herself, as consciousness came back to her, she stared back at him taking in his words and trying to understand the meaning behind everything that had transpired over the last minute. Her voice was a mere whisper, "I never said that," because no, she had never said that. She most certainly knew what it was to use a man as her pet but she had never thought of him as one.
He seemed to have taken in her words with a little bit of surprise and Regina did not know how to feel about that, how to feel about him, their proximity, this odd thing they shared, his hand still burned holes of electricity on her collarbone. For a little while, they simply stood there, without uttering a single word and unmoving. She could see a million questions go by his eyes, but Regina was still overwhelmed trying to process the way she had felt in her near death experience.
She stared back at him all the same, until he was not able to meet her gaze, he turned his eyes down to his hand, which still rested on her collarbone, and Regina could swear she felt shame radiate from his palm, even though she knew that was impossible. His hand moved up her neck after a few moments, his calloused fingers traced the tender – and bruised – skin there until they reached her chin and his eye met hers once more.
He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out and Regina had to wonder what it was that he was repressing, what it was that he was leaving unsaid. Apparently incapable of using words, he brought his palm to her cheek – she could see that his own still carried the red marking of her slap – his face suddenly painted with doubt but also amazement.
Regina was actually amazed herself when she felt his thumb start to stroke her cheek ever so lightly. His eyes were oh so very clear then, they carried such a different manner of blue than a couple of minutes ago, and Regina could not help but relax under his soothing touch – even though it was crazy to be soothed by the hand which had nearly almost yanked her from the land of the living.
A small sigh escaped her lips and it seemed to bring some awareness to his oddly distant gaze, his fingers were on her chin as he tilted it up ever so slightly, and his teeth bit down his lower lip, making her gaze fly right to his enticing mouth, the electricity shared between them almost drugging her with bliss.
Gods she wanted him
The dimples, the smiles, his strong arms around her, his woodsy scent, his alluring presence, his annoying words, his groans of pleasure, his fast fingers, his expert tongue, his dry humor, his soothing touch, his dark heart-
Regina knew then that she was fucked, so she might as well enjoy him while she could.
With that resolute thought in mind, Regina closed the distance between her lips and his own with a hungry kiss, biting hard at his lower lip before kissing him again, although her hands did not budge from her side, as if she was being led by some alien pull between their lips. He was quick to respond to her abrupt advances, as always, and snaked his fingers through her hair, whilst she sighed deeply, opening her mouth to welcome his delicious tongue.
As she felt his soft tongue against her own, something snapped inside her, and the haze that had dominated her mind finally completely cleared. She knew she should back away, slap him again, curse him into oblivion for what he had attempted to do, and yet, she found herself incapable of going through anything else but continuing to kiss and kiss that unnerving man. She knew why he had done it, she had pulled the string, a string she knew would wound him, Regina only did not know it would pierce deeply enough for him to turn hurt into rage, but then again, that was exactly what she did herself, so Regina should not have been that surprised.
She felt his taunt, muscular arms beneath her palms as she slid them up until she reached the back of his neck, bringing his half-naked body closer, and crushing his bare torso to her front. Regina wanted him, suddenly she had an image of hiding his head beneath her skirts and riding his face until she exploded with pleasure, and that only enticed her more. Soon she was taking step after step, blindly leading him to his bed.
She was hungry for him, after yesterday's more than heated events, he had left behind a fire in her that only grew. She attacked his neck, biting, kissing, and cursing him inwardly so much for driving her crazy with desire. She had never been like this with any other man, she had always been happy at the prospect of getting physical with the agreeing gentleman she had taken as lovers throughout her married years, but this was getting out of control.
Before she knew it, she could feel his hand pressuring her sex through the heavy leather of her trousers and Regina could not help but release an agreeing moan against the now flushed skin of his neck. Her hips responded to his movements on instinct, bucking forward so she could meet him as fiercely as she could.
His working hand down below made it very difficult for Regina to continue to ravage his neck as he, even through the fabrics of her clothes, was able to make her dizzy with desire. She was able to bring her lips to the shell of his ear and slur 'Yes' urging him to continue whilst she opened her legs further, welcoming his touch, allowing him to undo her yet again, she must have completely lost her mind.
With every new contact, Regina would delight herself in nipping at his earlobe and sometimes pulling at it, soft moans flying unbidden from her lips. A particularly strong move drew a mewl from her lips and before she knew it she was sucking the back of his ear, words that commanded he did not stop almost tumbling from her half parted lips, when yet another voice interrupted them;
This time, however, it was no bearer of magic but simply a very startled looking guard. The spell was broken and Regina took it as a sign, a warning that she had much more important plans to take care of before she could satisfy herself with the thief. She sent the guard away, who was probably thanking his lucky stars she did not fry him on the spot, and commanded that the man, who had nearly killed her as well as nearly given an unusual orgasm, that he should meet her by the well of the Northern Woods.
She needed to take care of things, and time was running out, she needed to be quick if she wished to catch the children red handed.
…
It had been easier than Regina had initially thought; the father had done her the courtesy of leaving his two brats alone in the woods, so capturing him without his little ones seeing it had been almost pathetically easy.
Regina then, had moved on to the children, and she still did not know what possessed her to approach them in such an awful way. They had been scared stiff of her, as everybody else in this entire Enchanted Forest was, but she needed them in order to get what she wanted. But Regina could not help but wonder if that had been the best way to convince the children to do her bidding, if scaring them out of their wits had been the wisest choice.
But she should not worry about their feelings towards her, it was no matter now, they had agreed to doing something for her in exchange for her help in finding their father, little did they know said father was now screaming his lungs out inside her dungeons.
She had found the thief leaning against the well, just as she had instructed, and felt her heart stop beating altogether when she saw he was just about to take a generous bite of an apple. She knew it was irrational and ridiculous, for that was not the apple she sought, but Regina's fingers suddenly wrapped themselves around the fruit and she squashed it into oblivion, just like she had done with so many hearts already.
His manner was annoyed and dismissive at first, making inquiries she did not dignify with answers as to what she planned on doing with the young pair trailing behind them. But then he had surprised her for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day by uttering words that sounded very much like he regretted having attacked her earlier that day.
For a split second her heart swelled with an odd unusual feeling she immediately blocked by uttering harshly "I've had worse encounters, thief."
The statement was painfully true, she remembered growing up with a mother who possessed the most disgusting manner of dark magic and who had no reservations about using it on Regina whenever she felt like she was not living up to her expectations.
Even in her young years, she was able to feel the scent of her sorcery, an odd metallic gold mixed with something undeniably dry. She would feel the stench that made her sometimes dizzy invade her nostrils whenever her mother felt Regina needed some discipline. Mother had never had many reservations about using her foul magic on Regina whenever she felt like she was not living up to her impossible expectations.
Being married to a man thrice her age and having been forced to share his bed for a whole year before her magical training allowed her to find a way to rid herself of having to repeat that atrocious and invasive act with the disgusting man she had been married to.
The outlaw's attempt on her life, compared to what she had been through during all those years, had almost felt like an act of mercy.
The mere thought of those memories made Regina's heart heavy, and she was eager to change the subject, so she chose to inform the man that no, she was not going to use the children as potion ingredients.
"That's rather relieving to hear-" he had commented after cleaning his throat, "- I was just about to tell you I drew a line at children."
That statement alone intrigued her, "Is that so?"
"Everyone's got a soft spot," he told her, surprising her even more that he would use such an expression, there was most certainly nothing soft about him, which unfortunately immediately reminded Regina of their earlier exchange.
She could not hold back a quiet laugh and comment, "I thought your soft spot was inside your pants." And oh how she wanted to just take off those pants of his and-
"Well, don't you know your fair share about that one-" he told her, he scrutinized her up and down in a way that if he had possessed magic, it would have divested her on the spot.
Regina had to throw a bucket of ice water on this conversation, if their banter went on, she would be on him after a few more heated glances. "Indeed" she replied, and took a deep breath in order to calm her more base cravings and focus on the mission at hand.
They walked in silence after that soon enough they reached the sticky sweet house and all manner of questions were asked. Regina told the children what they needed to know, she was pretty sure that were she to be completely honest with the pair, they would probably never agree to enter the house.
She did feel it was necessary for the thief to know what they would be up against once the Sun was down, so she had puffed them back to the well, and filled him in with the gruesome story Maleficent had shared with her the day before. She was somewhat relieved to see that he shared the same disgust she had for the crazy blind woman as soon as he heard what really happened inside the sticky house.
Something inside her had told her he could not possibly think that the whole affair was normal or be completely indifferent about it, but the nagging, impish voice in her head insisted on telling her he was a heartless man with no feelings, that he would not be moved.
But the imp was wrong, it had to be wrong, Regina knew that somehow that thief was able to feel something, even without his heart. Otherwise, said man would not have attempted to take her life after she had uttered words that were meant to hurt him, and then kissed her as if there was no tomorrow a few minutes after said attempt.
"Nothing will happen to them, you have my word." He had told her and somehow she knew he meant it.
"Who knew a thief had honor?" she could not help but raise an eyebrow in surprise.
"Who knew an Evil Queen had a soft spot for children?" he gave as good as he got and that was one of the many unnerving reasons why she-
She stopped that dangerous train of thought by warning him, trying to shake off the warm feeling inside her chest she got every time he was able to steal a smile (even if it was inward) from her. "Don't get too cocky outlaw-" she got closer to him, preferring to trail along the path of lust instead of stumbling along her unresolved feelings, "-remember I know what your other soft spot is," she licked her lips in a way she knew it would distract him and wake him up down below.
She was not surprised that it worked just as she thought it would and whilst his eyes stole away to her lips, Regina was able to clear her head and back away from his personal space, "Keep your eye on those two during the rest of the day, and do not for a second take your eyes and aim away from the witch once they're inside the house." She turned around as if to leave but turned back to deliver, "And if there's any trouble and the witch does indeed wake up, rend her and bring her to me. She has no powers when the Sun is out, I'm sure you and two children can manage-" she gesticulated with her hands and was gone at the next second in a cloud of purple smoke.
…
Regina did not know what had brought her back there, but after a few hours, she was back at the Northern Forest, she had cast a glamour spell on herself and rounded the sweet house. It was late afternoon, the sun bound to set in half an hour or so, but Regina found herself just behind the sticky edifice, where no sunlight whatsoever reached. The odd gray and dark green of the forest had the most awful contrast with the bright pinks and yellows and blues that decorated the house, Regina started feeling nauseated just by standing so close to it.
The place smelled like death, very few could actually identify this particular smell, one had to have had another's life in their grip to know what death smelled like, and this place reeked of it.
The thief and the children being on the other side of the house and a little further away from it, they could not see her even if she didn't have the glamor. There were no windows on this side of the house, but there was a backdoor Regina was not stupid enough to try to open, but what really caught her eye and made Regina's bile rise rested just beside the chocolate-made door.
She had seen her fair share of atrocities in her time, her magical training had been no picnic, she had killed, she had tortured, she had poisoned, but this was something else altogether, this made Regina sick. A pile bones rested against the sweet surface of the house walls just beside the door, as if they had been thrown there carelessly after the rest had been consumed and Regina felt her cheeks burn with anger. She was so horrified, that, for a moment she did not move, her eyes fixed on the small heap of what had been left of-
She took a deep breath, inhaling death and sugar, and she took step after step towards the mortifying pile. The bones had been tossed there, as if they had no importance at all, and Regina could not help but let a small tear escape her when she saw the size of some of them. Wee things that must have belonged to three year olds, five year olds, innocent children that were lured by this soulless-
Her thoughts were interrupted by noises coming from inside the house and Regina knew the witch was still awake, she could feel her strange magic, very strange indeed for it was not altogether dark, it smelled sticky and sweet, and she could have been mistaken, for she was standing beside a house made out of sweets, but this witch's magic smelled oddly familiar. She had no time to sniff any longer for if Regina could smell her magic, the blind witch most certainly could smell hers.
Regina rounded the house and walked until she found where the thief and the children were waiting out for the sun to set. She was not surprised to see that irritating girl still trying to make that old, broken down compass work, but what did astound her was the fact that the outlaw was sat by a tree and the young boy, Hansel was his name, sat beside him, and they seemed to be engaging in conversation.
Curiosity got the best of her, and Regina placed a silencing spell on herself, knowing the thief's ears would be able to pick up her invisible paces, and approached the pair.
Regina stood behind the tree they were sitting by, and picked up the outlaw's words just as he was asking, "-did you see me smile?" The man sounded honestly curious, his tone was slightly different when talking to the boy, Regina was intrigued.
"When you were talking to the Queen," the younger voice belonging to Hansel replied, and Regina was shocked to hear that statement, the boy went on, "She smiled at you too." Regina's eyes widened at the information as she tried to eavesdrop at the pair whilst trying to remember when she had smiled at that forest man for those children to see.
"She looked pretty when she smiled at you." The young boy's voice continued to sound, and something odd tugged on Regina's chest once again, "She didn't look pretty when she smiled at me and Gretel, she looked scary." And once again Regina had to wonder why she had gone crazy witch on the children who had just lost their father.
Why was she going so soft on them anyway?
I already told you why dearie, because that thief is making you weak, the impish voice mocked.
Regina you never cease to disappoint, do stop associating yourself with lowly people, it is so unattractive, it makes you look so common, her mother, she could finally tell the Queen without a heart was her mother. The venomous voice of the woman she had sent through a mirror laughed at her.
Nothing is worth the loss of a child, a greater, stronger voice quieted the two former.
"Are you scared of her?" it was the thief's voice that brought her from her internal battle.
"Yes," she nearly missed the boy's response since his voice had gone quiet.
"The Queen is not as bad as she looks," now THAT took her completely by surprise, he did not have to defend her, he should have been retaliating her, telling the boy how awful she was, how she had ripped out his heart and kept it inside a box and yet, he did no such thing. Because in Regina's conception she was even worse than she looked, her face a mere beautiful façade for she was evil, just like her step daughter had labeled her, evil and cruel, the darkness had feasted on her and now she would forever be tainted with it. And yet, that man, he had-
The thief opened his mouth to speak again but Regina felt she would do something she would regret were he to utter another word in her defense, for she did not deserve it. So she puffed herself from the sight of that man and a child that looked like he believed him, looked like he would give a second chance, that sight mixed with the words exchanged between the pair left an idea in the back of Regina's mind.
…
Regina arrived back at her castle with a million ideas buzzing inside her head, thoughts mingling with one another. She did not know if she should focus on the fact that the children were about to attain the cursed apple, or if she should think over the conversation she had listened to between the young boy and the thief. And still, a stinging arrow that seemed to have attached itself to her heart would twist every time she remembered the sight of the bone pile just outside the witch's house.
She fought hard not to try to imagine the glee inside those poor children's eyes when they saw the miraculous house made out of candy and how their stomachs lured them into that deadly trap.
Suddenly uncertainty dominated Regina and she felt ice cold, her heart nearly froze, and she wondered if the outlaw's protection was indeed enough? What if those two children met the same fate as all the others before them? What if something happened to Robin-?
"Sweetheart?" a kind voice from behind her startled Regina out of her musings.
She quickly turned around to see her father's old but worried eyes staring back at her, "Daddy!" she exclaimed nervously, her heart now beating quickly thanks to the small scare, "I told you to always knock!" she reprimanded him angrily.
"My dear," he looked apologetic, as he always did – oh Gods, why did she treat her own father so? - "You just poofed yourself into my room," he told her, gesticulating with his arms for her to look around, there was not a drop of accusation in his voice, "I was already here, I'm sorry I startled you."
She felt her heart sink and took a good look around. Yes, she had appeared in her father's spacious chambers, she could see the sun finally beginning to set through the window and swallowed. The reason why she had landed in this particular room was completely unknown to her.
Regina looked back at her father, he may not have been the strongest, he may not have been able to protect her from her mother's wrath, but he was here, he had always been there, always willing to give what he was able to offer.
Without him… Well, she was most certain she would have thrown herself out of the highest tower of that castle in her first married year if it weren't for her father's presence.
"I'm sorry Daddy," Regina brought her fingers to her forehead and closed her eyes whilst she continued to speak, "I have not been quite myself today,"
He approached her and brought both his hands to her shoulders, tugging lightly, asking for permission to take off her coat as he said, "What is it my dear?" she unbuttoned the front of her cape and let him take it off, "What's bothering you?"
Regina felt lighter already by the mere fact of not having the heavy leather atrocity hanging on her body – sometimes she wondered why she wore such uncomfortable clothes – she twisted her neck to the left until it gave a loud snap and sighed at the small relief. She then replied, her eyes still closed, "I don't even know."
"Would you like something to drink?" her father asked.
Regina opened her eyes then, the sun now a mere strip on the horizon, bathing only a small portion of the room with light. With a wave of her hand, several candles in the room lit by themselves, filling her father's chambers with a warm fiery glow. She turned to face him once more, he was still holding her heavy coat and looked so very small, and a little scared. He had always looked a little apprehensive but Regina found herself wishing that the look on his face, the fear she saw in his eyes, were not of her.
Henry folded the coat as best as he could and rang a servant that stood just by the door outside. Regina watched him as he exchanged a few words with the servant, handing them her coat and then turned back to look at her.
Had she done this? Had she turned her own father into a servant? Had she sunk so low? This was all wrong, this made her no better than her mother and Regina was not her mother, she would never be so heartless-
"No daddy," she replied and took a few steps until she was standing before him. She made to take his hand, but gave up at the last minute, the gesture, however, did not go unnoticed by her father, "I do not want anything to drink." She turned around hastily, embarrassed that she had found herself incapable of a mere tender gesture towards her father, and headed towards the dark blue chaise nearby and sat down.
There was a moment of silence in which Regina stared at her lap whilst her father still stood where she had left him, her thoughts still haunting her. Had they gotten the apple? Were they hurt? How was she going to get a sleeping curse? Why had the thief defended her? What was he to her after all? Why did she get the niggling feeling her father was afraid of her? Had she indeed turned out just like her mother? Was that why her father now wore fright in his eyes? Had her father always been like this? Cowardly and scared, always looking down, always obeying. Or had her mother destroyed the man he once was?
"Do you ever regret marrying mother?" it was out of her mouth before she could truly pounder if she should ask such a question from her father.
Her father coughed in response, obviously startled that Regina would ask such a thing, but once his breathing had evened out, he took a few steps in order to get closer to where she sat, this time he looked at her differently, his eyes were once again gentle and kind.
"I did not have a say in the matter of my marriage, my dear." He gave her.
Neither did I, the young woman with braided hair immediately shot back, angry.
There was a moment of silence in which Regina first realized how similar her own situation had been to her father's, "I know." She said simply, looking back at her lap, somehow ashamed of having asked the question altogether.
These quiet moments with him always had a way of reverting her back to that little girl so keen for her father's attention.
"But I don't regret it." His voice rang again, this time firmer and louder than before, it made Regina bring her eyes back to his figure.
"Why?" Regina could not help but ask, incredulous that he would not regret even crossing paths with her horrid mother.
Her father gave her a smile that deepened Regina's frown; he took a few steps until he was standing beside her, "Because she gave me something very precious."
Regina was beyond puzzled, "What?"
Her father gave her a sad smile and took her chin in his fingers, lifting it a little, "You, my dear."
Regina felt a strong pang in her heart, as if she had been hit by an arrow, but this time, unlike so many others in which she felt her heart being pierced, it did not sting, it was warm with affection. She was stunned for a second, Regina had thought of herself so unworthy of that manner of sentiment that somewhere along the way, she had forgotten there was one who still truly cared, one who would love her unconditionally, she had just been too blind to see it.
"Me?" she asked with a soft whimper.
His fingers slipped up her face to cup her cheek and Henry let out a small laugh, "Yes, you my child," he held her for a beat, before removing his palm from her cheek and taking her hand in his as he sat beside her on the chaise, "The day you were born, was the happiest day of my life."
He brought his other hand up and wiped a tear that had trailed down Regina's cheek that she had not felt being created or shed, "When I first looked at you, so tiny, so fragile inside that crib-" he ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek once, "-and you looked up at me with those big brown eyes that looked just like mine, my breath was taken away."
Henry then gave her a soft smile and brought his other hand down to take hers as well.
"Being a parent changes your perspective on things-" he told her, "-it's not just about you anymore, there's this small, giggly gift you've been given." He squeezed both her hands in his and Regina's heart felt light for the very first time that entire day.
For the first time in quite a while.
He stuttered a little while he continued, "I, I know I have not been the strongest, or the bravest," he looked deeply into her eyes, his own begging for acceptance she was more than willing to give, "-but I will always be by your side my dear child, no matter what happens."
She smiled at his words, touched in a way that warmed something cold in her heart, but then that warmth froze over again as she remembered, the memory painfully vivid. Mother and a swift slap to her face and the searing sting of a ring tearing into the flesh of her upper lip.
By your side, her father's words echoed in her head.
He promised he would be by her side, and yet, he had never stood up for her when she had needed him the most.
She did not free her hands from his, but rather leaned the side of her head to her father's shoulder, something she had not done in years, and whispered, "Thank you, Daddy," it was all she could muster, otherwise she knew more tears would follow the lone one he had wiped away.
"Always, my dear," he gave her, and placed a single loving kiss on the top of her head. Regina felt herself relax even more with the exchange and sunk a little further into her father's embrace, feeling comfortable and oddly safe there.
By your side.
By my side.
It bounced around in her head, mocking her, ridiculing her, them, this very moment of quiet as they sat together for a few more minutes. Warring thoughts raced through her mind, and Regina shook her head inwardly before choosing to simply breathe in the comforting presence of her father. She knew he wasn't the strongest or the most brave or the sharpest tongued of people, but something he had that Regina could not find in herself was kindness, and he loved her, that was something Regina could not do, she hated herself sometimes even more than she hated Snow White, and yet, her father loved her.
Love is weakness, her mother's voice echoed again between her ears.
If love was weakness and kindness was a product of love, she only had to take one glimpse at her father to see he was weak, and weak she would never be. He had done the best he could, even if his best had brought them here.
His best hadn't been enough.
Her thoughts are brought to the father she had imprisoned in order to get his children to do her bidding. He had left the pair there, in the middle of those dangerous woods, the only protection he had left behind was a silly compass. He couldn't have cared, not truly cared about those two, if he did, he would not have left them behind, would he?
His best hadn't been enough either.
Regina knew for a fact that her own father would have never left her alone to fare for herself, ever. Her mother? Regina thought her mother was capable of anything in order to get what she wanted. Cora would have abandoned her in the woods with no way of protecting herself, even as a babe, if she were able to see the future and glimpse at what a disappointment Regina would turn out to be.
Regina's best had never been enough either.