Aftermath of an Outburst of Madness
Quarter of an Hour since the Last Death (Fourteen Deaths)
"My name's Natsuki Subaru, and I am the new Sin Archbishop of Pride. It's an honor to make your acquaintance, Archbishop Romanée-Conti!" Still blinded by anger, grief and despair, Subaru introduced himself as the missing Archbishop of Pride.
Subaru, even in his state of spontaneous madness, remembered that such a tactic would result in futility. Once Petelgeuse inquired him about the gospel, it would be revealed that his title as a Sin Archbishop was a sham. Still, if it was enough to provoke Petelgeuse to attack Utada, then he would be satisfied and accept his punishment as the heretic he was.
"Is this possible?! At last, before me has appeared the absent servant of the witch, whose whereabouts had remained unknown for so many years? But, but, but, but, but, but, how is it possible? At a time like this, in such a circumstance... Have I failed all this time to notice the presence of such a believer in love?"
As usual, the archbishop pulled out his own hair and crushed his bony fingers, while blood flowed from his head and mouth. The man's madness had not diminished in the least. The only one who had changed was Subaru, everything else around him remained the same, unchanged despite the blood and ashes that coated his soul. With that in mind, Subaru realized that the best thing he could do was to calm Sloth down and then direct his actions towards killing Utada.
"It is as you say, Archbishop Romaneé-Conti; yet, you are wrong about one thing, just one thing. You have not failed to notice my presence throughout all this elapsed time, I had simply concealed it, waiting for the right moment to show myself to you and the rest of my comrades."
In the state of mental disarray in which Subaru found himself, devising an artifice that would satisfy the Archbishop of Sloth was challenging to say the least. Precisely for that reason, Subaru opted to use Utada's erroneous conclusions to his benefit. He had already plunged too deeply into the lie, and there was no turning back. In that loop he would vent as much of his pent-up frustration as possible.
The face of the mercenary in question contorted further with anger, however, in contrast to Subaru, Utada could do nothing to vent his anger. The invisible barrier remained in place preventing him from ending the life of the foul parasite that had been furtively feasting on his superiors for over a year. The flames of anger that burned brightly within him were being constantly fueled by Subaru's brazen assertions.
"You've been hiding your presence...? Was that the reason behind your absence? If so, haven't you been disavowing the witch's love? In all my precious years as a servant of the witch Satella, I have never heard of such a thing. A Sin Archbishop capable of negating the sacred presence of the witch within him... Haven't you become too conceited, Archbishop Natsuki Subaru?"
"Conceited, you say? I'm the Archbishop of Pride, fellow Romaneé-Conti, being conceited is part of my nature. Don't expect me to reject that part of my being now." Beads of cold sweat began to pour down Subaru's forehead. He had to keep up the facade, he had to convince Petelgeuse with his words that he was indeed the missing Archbishop of Pride.
However, his words were only succeeding in sowing more and more doubts in the crazed individual. He may be a murderous lunatic, but not an idiot; thought Subaru. The naivety born from his love for the witch and the smell that Subaru's body gave off had a limit, Petelgeuse would not be satisfied with just his words forever. He would eventually ask Subaru for proof of his affiliation with the witch; Subaru's goal was to get the archbishop to kill Utada before then.
"Hmm... You're certainly not wrong, Archbishop of Pride, Natsuki Subaru." Petelgeuse conceded. Quickly, however, the man narrowed his eyes, looking threateningly at Subaru. "Nevertheless, your lack of devotion to the witch is disturbing, concerning, alarming, dreadful. Contemptible! It is true that among those faithful to the witch, there are those whose fidelity falters; I myself have spared no reprimands to them, who, turning a deaf ear, continue to live irreverent existences."
So, among the Sin Archbishops, there are those who do not possess the same fervent fidelity to the witch as Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti. Subaru was already aware of this. Even in his foggy, disorganized brain, Sirius' words of contempt for Satella reverberated. Though, unwittingly, his train of thought quickly drifted into more marshy areas of his library of memories. A violent, corrosive feeling surged through Subaru.
The shadow that tortured him every time he broke the taboo, thus precluding him from sharing his pain with those close to him. Vague memories of the shadow crushing his heart, clouded completely by the unbearable agony, flooded his mind. If he was right, that shadow and the witch were closely related, one could even say they were the same... And that shadow would undoubtedly have something to do with his arrival in that world.
In a corner of his being, a hatred like no other blazed furiously. That fragment of his being, born of the Bowel Hunter's torture, burst into flame. That alienated hatred was no longer simply that. As long as Subaru and that strange part of him did not converge with the same emotions, the emotions harbored by the fragment would forever remain as alienated emotions. However, in the event that the two sides synchronized, extremely intense feelings would be born...
"..." With dangerous emotions bubbling up inside him, Subaru stared in complete silence at Petelgeuse. The archbishop, beginning to grow restless at the lack of response, proceeded to insert his slender fingers into his mouth and crush them with his yellowish, cavity-covered teeth.
"Shall I assume that you will not respond to my words, you unfaithful Archbishop of Pride?" The man managed to mutter, still with his bloodied fingers between his teeth.
"..." Once again, Subaru's silence remained unchanged. Pulling his hands out of his mouth, Petelgeuse pointed at Subaru with a disdainful expression.
"My brain trembles, trembles, trembles! It trembles due to your lack of love and devotion to Satella! I cannot bring myself to accept that a despicable ally of the slothful spirits, who are content with their pathetic stagnation, lacking in fidelity towards our benefactress, the Witch of Envy, such as you, has been accepted among the believers in love. I refuse to accept it! And I will not do so until I have before my eyes your proof of love!"
It was not until he heard the words, "proof of love," that Subaru finally reacted. Those were the words Subaru least wanted to hear, since they jeopardized his plan. And yet, Subaru was unfazed by hearing Petelgeuse speak of it. If there are people in the cult who do not worship the witch, then there is no problem; he thought, ingenuously. It was with that in mind, and with hatred growing effervescently in his heart, that Subaru dared to commit an unspeakable stupidity.
"The gospel...? Well, I happen to agree with them, our comrades! As far as I'm concerned, that bitch of a witch might as well disappear from the face of this world! And since I'm part of the faction that's against the witch, I had no qualms about burning that stupid boo-" Before finishing his vehement statement, Subaru stopped.
A dangerous aura began to emanate from Petelgeuse. A bloodlust capable of chilling the blood of anyone on the receiving end of it. As if a bucket of cold water had fallen on his body and spirit, Subaru's scorching emotions were quenched. Once again, his anger had blinded him, and he had ended up speaking excessively. Without realizing it until it was too late, Subaru had crossed a boundary that should never be crossed. Thus provoking the fury of the only person who at that moment could serve him as a temporary ally.
Having mostly regained control of his own emotions, a result of the fear instilled by the murderous presence of the Archbishop of Sloth, Subaru could finally contemplate how much he had let himself be carried away by the amalgam of negative emotions, such as anger, hatred and frustration, that had built up in his heart. There was no doubt about it, that world was about to end...
Still, adhering to that promise that shackled him, Subaru would not accept his death without fighting to vainly extend his life. Even for a single second; if in that time he gained valuable information, then his death would finally be worth something. I will not have thrown away a world simply because of my selfish emotions; he said to himself internally, trying to placate, albeit in vain, the guilt that was gurgling violently in his heart.
"You! You, despicable Spirit Arts User! You have the audacity to hurl contemptuous words against our benefactress?! You so brazenly dare to insult the magnanimous, splendid, generous woman who granted you your authority?! The proof of love... violated, scorned, vilified, reviled... This is outrageous! What I hear from your mouth is the ultimate sin, a deadly sin! I, the Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, to whom the sin of Sloth has been entrusted, Petelgeuse Romaneé-Conti, will not allow the name of the witch and her infinite love to be sullied by your unworthy lips and heretical hands!"
His gaze bloodshot, Petelgeuse ranted as he tore the top of his tunic with his bony hands. Blood began to gush from his chest, where three long claw-like wounds now lay. Burning with rage, the Archbishop of Sloth dug his fingernails into his skin; accumulating chunks of bloody skin so deep under his nails, they seemed to reach the cuticle.
"Shit..." Subaru whispered, feeling the Archbishop's dangerous aura of hostility slamming into his body, causing all of his muscles to tense. If he failed to act soon, Petelgeuse would undoubtedly assassinate him. He had only one option left; to discard his false title imposed by Utada and the Witch Cult. If he reminded the enraged Petelgeuse to observe his gospel, then his status as an anomaly would come to light.
There was no guarantee that the revelation of his identity as an anomaly would be deemed sufficient to appease Sloth's unbridled anger, however, at that moment, that was his trump card. Driven by his toxic emotions, he had made bad move after bad move; it would not be an exaggeration to say that this time he had conceded defeat. Fate at that moment was laughing loudly at his misfortunes, of that he was sure.
"Archbishop Romanée-Conti, this is all a misunderstanding! If only you'd look at your gos-!" But Subaru's pleas were muted. Without Subaru or Petelgeuse being able to react, Utada wrapped his thick fur-covered arms around the former...
It happened while Petelgeuse was ranting against Subaru, and Subaru was finally realizing that he had made a gigantic mistake. Utada had used that time to carefully analyze his surroundings. That which kept him separated from Subaru was undetectable to the eye, yet such a thing indeed had presence; it really existed, it was simply invisible. And if it did exist, then whatever it was, it would have to be perceptible to the other senses.
That was the conclusion reached by the beast-man. And putting it to the test, Utada exerted himself to the extreme to be able to delimit in his mind the outline of that which separated him from the Sin Archbishop who had coexisted, covertly, with his boss, his companions and him for months. It was necessary for him to use his senses to the utmost and to concentrate profoundly, however, he finally succeeded. The shape of the invisible object was most confusing; the closest thing to it was the shape of a hand. Utada did not understand how such a thing could exist, however, he quickly disregarded the matter. What really mattered was that he finally knew the boundaries of the invisible object.
With that information in hand, Utada waited for the time when both enemies were most unmindful of his presence. The newly arrived Sin Archbishop kept self-inflicting damage, and seemed completely focused on Subaru. The two were arguing about something, but Utada had not been paying attention to the content of the discussion. Still, Subaru seemed to remain attentive to his surroundings, and this prevented Utada from acting.
Utada had misinterpreted Subaru being deep in thought, but this had not affected the final outcome. When Subaru finally spoke up to plead his case, Utada thought he saw the opening he needed. Subaru had been thinking about how to deal with his situation, constantly moving his gaze about his surroundings. This had confused Utada, who actually believed that Subaru was an archbishop who had been living undercover in the Hoshin mansion. In the mercenary's mind, Subaru was a cunning master of deception.
Perhaps that was why he was so surprised that his hasty plan, moderately well executed even when he was considerably nervous, had worked so perfectly. With one arm he had trapped Subaru's body, restricting the movement of his arms. He had placed the other arm around Subaru's upper body, the claws of his hairy hands brushing against Subaru's neck.
With the flame of anger being reignited inside his body, Subaru twisted violently, thus trying to break free from the mercenary traitor's powerful grip. However, his body instinctively stopped as he felt the sharp edge of the beastman's claws lightly dig into his skin. With cries drowned out by Utada's unyielding hand, Subaru cursed him.
That ungrateful mercenary who had forgotten how much Subaru had sacrificed during previous loops to, albeit indirectly, save his life. Unfairly, Utada had forgotten all that and was now taking a stand against him. Completely helpless, Subaru could do nothing but silently complain, under the scorching gaze of an extremely enraged Archbishop of Sloth.
"Stay still, don't make any sorta move!" Utada ordered anxiously, his gaze fixed on the crazed archbishop. Who, observing the mercenary's strange actions, finally seemed to calm down. "If ya don't do as I say, your despicable companion will've to learn to live without a head!" If only Utada had been paying attention to the conversation between Subaru and Petelgeuse, he would have known that such a threat was meaningless.
"My brain trembles." Petelgeuse said, with his eyes narrowed and a finger in his mouth. "The fate of fools is to perish before the force of my diligent love for the witch. Unseen Hand." With a deceptively calm demeanor, but with his spirit truly inflamed, Petelgeuse passed sentence on Utada and Subaru, who was restrained by the beast-man's grip.
Utada was able to detect a change in the atmosphere, but by the time he did so it was too late. That invisible object had finally moved, and its targets were Utada, and Subaru in his arms. Subaru, who could see the Unseen Hand, kicked and squirmed, but his resistance was for naught.
Both inventor and mercenary alike were caught in the invisible grip of the Unseen Hand. The inhuman strength of the Authority of Sloth stopped both of them in place and then lifted them into the air, separating Subaru from Utada's strong grip. Had it not been for the fact that the mercenary had lost strength in his arms due to stupefaction, it is possible that Subaru would have been torn apart by the clashing forces of the two inhuman beings.
Even so, that did not mean that Subaru had been exempted from suffering. Before Petelgeuse's crazed gaze, the bodies of Utada and Subaru began to be contorted by the brutal force of the invisible hands. Like fruits, both were wrung out. Subaru tried futilely to reveal that he was the anomaly with which the cult should not intrude, however, from his throat only screams of anguish and pain emerged.
In utmost detail, Subaru could feel and observe how hands that would normally be invisible grabbed his legs, arms and torso, and then began to twist his body. The sound of bones crunching suddenly overtook completely the sound of screaming. Utada roared in anger and frustration, and futilely tried to break free. But that was a death trap, and from it no one should escape. That day, that loop, Utada and Subaru met a most painful death.
Knees and elbows were dislocated, forcibly stretched to unnatural lengths and then ripped out clean off. Blood and bone fragments rained down on the wooden floor, adding more crimson to the scene of Utada's massacre. After the limbs were removed, the hands holding the torsos squeezed with murderous force. Organs, and the fluids they contained, were expelled through anus and mouth.
The intestines burst out, adding another hue to the crimson picture. With part of the trachea and all of the intestines protruding, front and back respectively, both heretics met their demises. Petelgeuse, however, was not yet satisfied. Diligently, the Archbishop of Sloth made use of his Unseen Hand until nothing was left but the pulp of the fool who dared to defile the witch's love and the fool who dared to intrude on his sacred duty.
"In the end, both of you were truly slothful... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ahahahahahahahahahaha..."At the traumatized gaze of an Otto whose mind and heart had already been completely shattered, obliterated, Petelgeuse laughed raucously and maniacally. Otto alone would remain as a witness to the aftermath of Subaru's bout of madness; unbeknownst to Subaru, Otto would have finally, truly and thoroughly shared in his suffering.
Zero Days since the Last Death (Fifteen Deaths)
The sound of his bones being crushed, the intense pain in his throat, due to the terrible screams of agony he had come to utter, the icy sensation of his body being completely drained of its blood, the unbearable suffering of his body being contorted by supernatural forces, the agonizing bursting of his internal organs that had ultimately caused his death... Once again, time had been rewound. His body was basically intact, but the same could not be said of his mind.
His judgment and reason had been eclipsed by his unbalanced emotions, and this had led him to make a string of unforgivable mistakes. His steel-sharp tongue had severed all ties of friendship with those close to him, causing his own debacle. Without considering for a moment what he was saying, Subaru had completely derailed the fate of a loop, leading him down the path to absolute doom.
Once again, it had been demonstrated that in his hands existed the power to alter destiny, to alter timelines, causing all kinds of ramifications. If he cleverly used the information gathered in previous loops, then he would have the ability, after considerable effort and enduring untold suffering, to achieve a favorable outcome. A timeline where the worst fates would be avoided.
On the contrary, if he did not carefully consider the steps he took subsequent to the forced use of Return by Death, then he might well bring hell into the lives of those who inhabited that world. Otto, Leith and Utada had recently experienced the magnitude of how terribly fate could be twisted if Subaru was careless.
The pain, anger and suffering had led him to suffer a panic attack, something close to an outburst of madness even. Subaru had partially lost connection with reality and had been completely overwhelmed by the amalgam of negative emotions that resided in his heart. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was taking its toll on his delicate emotional stability and with each death Subaru was becoming more and more mentally broken.
Looking back on what happened, Subaru couldn't help but think that it was inevitable that such an episode of insanity would eventually take place. He regretted what happened because of it, and hated himself for being so weak that he was not even capable of maintaining control over his emotions; however, he could not dwell on regretting it for the rest of his life.
An entire world, a timeline, a future that would never take place... had been completely obliterated by his stupidity. That the heavy weight of guilt gnawing at his heart would be enough for him to never make such a mistake again; that was all Subaru could hope for. If anything that pitiful display of emotional weakness had helped, it was that he finally felt able to carry on.
He had already vented some of the miasma of negativity that had accumulated in his soul. Clarity had partially returned to his mind, and because of that he could move forward... However, the scar of yet another agonizing death had been etched into his soul. The sensation of his body being wrung out, crushed, remained engraved in his mind.
Paling, Subaru collapsed to his knees. He firmly pressed the palm of his right hand against his lips, sealing them completely. He successfully coped with the agonizing return to life; not a trace of vomit left his body.
"I'm fine..." He whispered, as he took Otto's hand. The scenario repeated itself over and over again, resulting in a great strain on his unstable psyche. Still, he swallowed the despicable words that threatened to come out of his mouth and forced a smile on his face.
"..." A gesture of discomfort came across Otto's face. Subaru's crooked smile completely betrayed his naive intentions to lighten the tension in the air of the room. Clearing his throat, thus ridding it of vomit residue that had stagnated there, Subaru spoke.
"My plan, right?" how many times had he heard the same question? Subaru wasn't sure anymore, he found it hard to remember. To him it was as if he had been stuck at that same point in time for weeks.
"Ehmm... Yes, Subaru-sama... Still, if ya don't feel up to thinkin' of one, ya don't have to force yourself to do so." Utada replied, slightly hesitant. It's a facade, Subaru thought. Deep down, the mercenary was thinking how to assassinate him; or so the young black-haired man thought.
"No need to worry about it, Utada. I just got a little dizzy, that's all. To be honest, such a thing is the least of my problems, isn't it?" Narrowing his eyes, Subaru watched the mercenary carefully. The latter glanced back at him, and after a few tense seconds, nodded.
"You're right, Subaru-sama. With the cult roamin' the streets of the capital, we don't have time to worry 'bout trifles." Then my health is a trifle, Subaru was tempted to reply; however, he refrained from doing so. If he antagonized Utada, he would not get very far in that loop, he was certain of that.
"Exactly, Utada, a trifle. I slipped up and exposed my pathetic fear for the Witch Cult, that's all. It's not something worth worrying about." Having said that, Subaru looked at Otto, who stood to the mercenary's left. "My pathetic weakness aside... Otto, do you remember that I'd told you about my Divine Protection?"
"Huh? Ah, yeah, I vaguely remember. Something related to visions, if I'm not mistaken." After doing some quick recall, Otto nodded.
"Well, it turns out that it was triggered, and I got a glimpse of what's in store for us. I can assure you that my pathetic reaction just now is not due to the fact that we've a promising future ahead of us..." Without going into details, Subaru again related the fate ahead; the one in which they encountered with the two archbishops located in the commercial district and the other two located in the nobility district.
"Shit..." Utada muttered. Was he saying that because of the danger the archbishops posed, because of the burning anger he felt hearing about the cult leaders, or because he burned with the desire to go hunt them down? Subaru could only wonder.
"Shit indeed." Subaru said, landing his gaze on the mercenary who normally hid his true emotions with a cloak of indifference. "With four Sin Archbishops besieging the city, our hands are completely tied. Any move we make, could bring us closer to our premature deaths."
"S-So, what do you reckon we should do?" Otto questioned him, striving, in vain, to hide the terror that Subaru had inflicted on his spirit by reporting what he had seen in the false vision.
"Yeah. As Suwen-san says. Which do ya believe is the best course of action we can take, Subaru-sama?" Once again, Subaru wondered how his pathetic self had come to be so trustworthy to those around him. Though he was convinced that the only one who spoke with complete sincerity was Otto. Utada? He probably just wanted to test him. Depending on what Subaru chose to do, Utada would act one way or the other.
"Hey, don't you guys think you're putting too much responsibility in my hands?" Subaru asked, with a complicated expression. "After all, my Divine Protection only shows me how I'll die if I follow a predetermined path. It doesn't show me any of the alternative paths."
He no longer wanted to bear the responsibility of decision making. For because of this, he had led Otto, Leith and Utada to their deaths. For because of this, he had lost Utada's trust and caused the one who was supposed to protect him to murder him. His decisions led most of the time to dead ends, which instead of ending in a solid concrete wall, ended in agonizing deaths.
"You're absolutely correct, Natsuki... It's true that we're placing a huge burden on your shoulders, while abdicating our own responsibilities." Otto replied apologetically, lowering his gaze. "I wish I were stronger, more capable, so that I'd help you... However, I'm not. Likewise, I wish I'd tell you that thanks to what you told us about your vision, I found a way to survive the cult's attack. But I can't... I really don't know how to help you, other than to offer you my support. And if you were to make the mistake of asking my opinion on what we should do, I'd betray your trust by letting myself be driven by the fear that grips me. Because I know that no matter what happens, you'll not forsake those who are important to you. You'd never abandon Anastasia..."
With self-deprecation and shame overflowing from his body, Otto explained his reason for not coming up with ideas on what they should or should not do. Subaru understood perfectly. His friend was being overcome by the dire circumstances, and preferring not to propose such a cowardly way out as abandoning the capital by themselves alone, leaving everyone behind, he opted to simply refrain from expressing what course of action he felt they should pursue.
"You don't need to put me on a pedestal, Otto. I understand how you feel, so you don't need to lower your head. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably feel similarly." Subaru admitted, with a crooked smile. Otto returned the gesture; a dejected smile crept across his face. They were dealing with the most dangerous group of people in that world, any defeatist feelings were completely justified.
Sighing deeply, Subaru moved his gaze to Utada. The mercenary quickly understood the underlying meaning of it. "I'll do as you command, Subaru-sama." Another regretful sigh was exhaled. Once again, Subaru was he responsible for making the decisions that would define the course of their lives.
"Fine, whatever..." He muttered in defeat. That outcome was not unexpected. Utada wished to let Subaru choose, so as to impart his unfair judgment on him. And Otto, who on other occasions might have contributed ideas, however meager, had been completely overwhelmed by the information collected by Subaru and decided to refrain from doing so. Four archbishops, four paths to death and zero alternatives; escape was out of the question. "We'll go to the castle and reconvene with Anastasia."
"..." That was not a statement that came as a surprise to his companions. Perhaps that was why neither of them batted an eye at his words. Even so, they both refrained from speaking. After all, they could sense that Subaru had not finished speaking.
Subaru could not deny that it bothered him that Otto, who in other loops had claimed he would help and support him, was incapable of presenting any moderately valid alternative to survive this damned game of fate. It also bothered him that Utada was testing him just based on the smell that involuntarily emanated from his body. Still, he had to stop this from affecting him as it did during the previous loop.
"But before that..." He had already thought about it during another loop, but had dismissed the idea as he felt it would prove too time consuming. Still, there was no use fretting so much about time expenditure if he never accomplished his task of getting to the castle. "We'll go to Anastasia's mansion." Specifically, they would go for Halibel, the best card in his deck.
Hi! I just wanna let you know, those of you who haven't noticed, that last weekend I decided to publish a brand new prologue for this story (Red that suppressed the White of the Snow), though of course it didn't have one before. I wrote it because I felt it was necessary, since it serves as a glimpse into the future of the fic; the prologue is now the first chapter. So, for those confused by Sunday's chapter, it was not the re-upload of any chapter, but the late prologue. That's all, as always, thanks for your constant support.