Chapter One: Life After Love

Tic...tic...tic...tic...tic...tic...

Staring blankly ahead, vision unfocused and chest tight, her eyes were fixed on the blinking cursor in front of her. The once pleasant ambiance that the computer screen cast now felt blinding as her eyes began to water. Seconds passed, then minutes before she finally slumped back in the leather computer chair, arms folding protectively across her chest, eyes never moving from the invasive message that burned into her screen.

'You have to come home sooner or later, honey. You can't avoid me forever, at least meet me for coffee so that we can talk things out. You're my world. - Aurora'

Six months, three weeks, and five days had passed since things ended – more like crumbled, collapsed, imploded – with Aurora. It was late that night too... she thought to herself.

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"...yes, and don't forget the mountains that we talked about dearie. My wife and I got married just at the foot of the ones nearest the village. I want to remember, even when I forget I want it there so that I can remember." the voice came through the phone, the gentle quaver evident despite his best attempts to hide it.

Elsa smiled, her hands deftly dragging graphite across her sketch pad and adding further details for the elderly gentleman at the other end of the phone. "Of course Mr. Fredrickson, I'll do everything that I can to make this perfect for you. How about I give you a call when it's ready?"

"Please, please my dear." With a click the conversation was over.

She couldn't help but feel a gentle ache grow in her chest as she set her business phone back on the receiver. Carl was such a kind old man, but to lose his wife like this when his mind was in such a fragile state. Her heart went out to the kindly old man.

Having lost her parents years ago in climbing accident she could empathize with him on some level. Yet try as she might she couldn't imagine the type of feeling losing someone you loved, someone you chose to have in your life could bring to someone. The loss of family had been devastating enough, but this was on another level entirely.

The sun had begun to sink, painting the sky in her most favorite of ways. Her mind was able to escape the momentary sadness that she felt as she set up her easel.. Squirting paint out onto the pallete Elsa gave the blank canvas a thoughtful look. I'll get the background done tonight, then the details tomorrow she told herself, knowing that the hour was growing late and that she really should be heading home soon.

Just as she was about to begin, a soft buzzing sounded from across the room. Setting down her still-clean brush and paint filled pallete she raced across the room. Aurora, I should have known she'd be calling to check in with me soon.

"Hey honey-" she answered hastily, cut off quickly by a fiery voice on the other end.

"Why haven't you been answering?" Aurora hissed, clearly irate.

Elsa felt herself stiffen defensively. "I was on the line with a previous client, dear, he-"

"Oh a 'client.'" The emphasis made it clear how Aurora felt about the situation. "So busy that you can't spare your girlfriend some of your time?"

With a wince, she formed her answer. "Look, I'm just trying to take on enough work to be sure that we're taken care of dear. Besides, I enjoy the-" Click, beep...beep...beep... "Painting."

A heavy sigh rose up from her chest as she put her fingers to her temples, rubbing gently as she ran over her options in her head. Go home and face the rage immediately or stay and start tackling some of the enormous pile of work that was scattered about her studio. Exasperatedly she came to the realization that Aurora would be upset either way, and so she returned to her easel.

Gently pressing a wide brush into the clear white paint she dragged it down, sure to spread it evenly on the brush bristles before it ever touched the canvas. The sound of the brush scratching against canvas as she coated it in the single color calmed her inner turmoil. Painting had always been a hobby of hers, despite her heavy workload she always found solace in the act of bringing forth a beautiful image from nothing.

Slowly but surely deep reds and tans formed out a dry, arid mountainscape. She couldn't recall what the name of the trees and brush that Mr. Fredrickson had described to her but she was sure to do exactly as he asked, placing a few about halfway into the painting. Lips pursed she stepped back, wiping her arm across her forehead before scrutinizing the landscape before her.

Certainly an interesting choice for a place to get married. Apparently the two, in their younger years, had been adventurers. Traveling the world and discovering new plants, new animals, villages and communities unseen and untouched by the modern world. The gentleman had told her so many vivid stories in their past meetings. When his wife, Ellie, was alive they had come as a couple so may times. Elsa had recreated vivid jungles and wild beasts (that she wasn't even sure really existed) more times than she could count. Yet now she was giving the man something less, and at the same time more happy than the previous commissions. She was giving him a memory that he could no longer hold or touch, but simultaneously something that could help him remember the happiest day of his life.

Satisfied with her work for the time being, she began cleaning up her brushes and her palette. When she was through, she picked up her phone and saw no further missed calls or messages. Groaning as she stretched her arms above her head she let her eyes close, surrendering herself to the stretch. Hours had passed as though they were just a few moments for her. The clock on the wall showed well past midnight. I should head home. Aurora will enjoy the company, besides the couch here is just so uncomfortable.

Grabbing her keys and bag she walked to the door, shut off the lights, and locked up. The ride was short to their apartment. The parking lot was unusually full, but it was a weekend evening after all, she was certain there were parties or gatherings going on nearby so the inconvenience of the slightly longer walk hardly even registered in her mind. Her mind was focused on finding some way to make up for her absence.

Her key pressed into the lock slowly, the metal scraping quietly as she turned it and passed through the doorway. Muffled music greeted her ears as she closed the door Must be the neighbors, they're always so loud. Leaning against the couch, she kicked her shoes off and set her bag down as quietly as possible. Nudging her shoes out of the walkway she turned toward her bedroom and noticed a flickering light. Aurora never falls asleep with the television on... Quiet footfalls sounded as she made her way to the room, turning the knob as quietly as possible so as not to disturb her if she was indeed sleeping.

The door swung open without a sound and her eyes widened at the scene before her. Candles flickered in a would-be romantic way, the gentle music turned out to have been emanating from the room. Her heart would have filled with love and adoration if only the final details hadn't been so painful. At the end of the bed, their bed, knelt what could only be Aurora, golden locks tied back in a loose, messy ponytail, head tucked snugly between the widespread legs of another young woman.

The scene was like something out of a bad porno. The dark haired girl laying in her bed barely registered at first. However the longer she stood there, mouth open in a silent protest, watching the sheets crumple between the girl's hands as her hips arched up into Aurora the more familiar she became. Elsa knew her face.

"Mulan?" Elsa choked out, feeling faint as she leaned against the door for support.

Mulan shot up, shoving Aurora away as her terrified gaze locked on Elsa standing in the doorway. "Shit, shit, shit..." she muttered, "Look, Els, I-"

Elsa slowly lifted a hand, looking dazed and confused as she felt a familiar burning at the back of her eyes. "Please, I...I think you should just go." she said, barely speaking above a whisper. Mulan slid off the bed and grabbed her clothes, hastily getting dressed as she brushed past Elsa, muttering quiet apologies and curses the whole time. Aurora had hardly moved, merely pressing her face into the mattress as though somehow this would be enough to prevent Elsa from being upset.

The quiet sound of the door clicking shut was like the final crack in a dam, Elsa finally broke. Tears streamed silently as she stood, shoulders shaking in quiet sobs. Aurora had finally stood and pulled a t-shirt over herself, her lips and chin still glistening in the candlelight with proof of her betrayal.

"Look, Elsa, what was I supposed to do?" Aurora's voice began quiet, but it was clear that it would crescendo as she continued, "You're never home anymore! You're working all the time and you expect me to just wait for you? I have needs! She's always been here for both of us, you can't possibly blame me." She was practically shouting.

The words cut deeply. Her chest and limbs felt like lead, both tingling with some unfamiliar burning feeling. She could taste acid rising in the back of her throat. "Needs?" Elsa breathed, quiet voice shaking, "How can you say that? How could you do this? She's our friend!" she whimpered, eyes taking in the woman before her, hickeys becoming visible on her breasts and neck as her eyes adjusted to the candlelight, judging by the color of some of them this had been going on for some time.

Aurora huffed and threw her hands in the air, face red "You're awful. You act like you're the only one hurting here. Like I don't hurt too."

Rage welled in her, or was it fear? She could no longer differentiate. "I can't do this. I can't." Elsa moved to the closet, avoiding further eye contact with Aurora and grabbing a duffel bag, stuffing everything she owned into it. Aurora grabbed her arm and tried to twist her back to face her.

"What are you doing Elsa? You can't leave." she huffed, squeezing harder as Elsa struggled against her.

"Let it go." Elsa hissed quietly as she let herself be turned around at last, bag hastily packed and partially zipped. Pulling the bag over her shoulder she continued, "Just don't."

The room fell silent as the grip on her arm loosened, she shuffled through clothing and didn't bother trying to keep things neat. Why should she? What would Aurora care at this point? Her tears had finally dried as she stuffed her last hoodie into her bag and shoved her arm into it as she attempted to correctly zip the bulging duffel, sniffling quietly in the post cry calm.

Swallowing hard she hefted the bag onto her shoulder and turned quickly to face Aurora – best to get out quickly before she broke down again. Their eyes met and Elsa could see no remorse, she couldn't determine if this was cause to be more or less upset until Aurora finally spoke again. "You won't leave me, not for long..."

That was the final straw. Elsa turned on her heels and fled the room, the back of her throat burning as she forced the sobs back inside. Don't let her see you cry, conceal it. With a click of the lock and a faint jingle as she dropped the apartment key through the mail slot she was off into the night, almost hoping that she never saw Aurora again.

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Finally, she leaned forward and her hand sat at the top of her laptop, hovering there just a moment before she lowered the screen and closed it. There were no words that she could give Aurora that would even remotely express the whirlwind of emotion that was building inside of her. There had certainly been something there, something new and unusual, but looking back she wondered if it had ever been real. Did I romanticize the relationship because she was the first person to reciprocate my feelings?

She raised the heels of her hands to her eyes and rubbed gently, as though the action would help clear her mind of the voices that couldn't seem to decide if she was right or wrong in her desire to put off the response. Things hadn't always been bad, after all. When they had first found one another Aurora and Elsa had been the ideal couple, at least in her eyes. They had been friends for as long as she could remember and then one night something just changed. Underage and a little tipsy they had shared a tender kiss, sparking something that would open the two previously 'straight' young girls to an entirely new world.

She was my first. She thought to herself, standing now and pacing the room as she continued to reminisce. The memory of 'us' was a hard one to ignore, despite no longer feeling so alone. In the months following the breakup Elsa had located a new apartment, she had promised herself that she would not reach out to Aurora again, how could she after what happened?

Bitterness crept into her rose-colored memories, tainting every positive thing with the black, sticky tar of doubt and jealousy. Had there ever actually been any love from Aurora, real and true love for Elsa? Or had it all been a twisted experiment for Aurora to be certain that she was, indeed, into women? Had everything that Elsa had come to rely on and believe to be true about relationships been a lie? Her heart ached in her chest, her mind racing with memories that grew more increasingly vivid by the moment.

"I have to get out of here." she groaned, letting her hand drop back to her side as her head rolled forward, eyes shut for a long moment before she pulled her cell phone out and began dialing. She hadn't even needed to check her contacts for the number, she knew it by heart. The line began to ring and a kind voice answered, "Hey Els, what can I do for you?"

Elsa sighed, almost happily, "I'm glad you're available. Can I stay with you tonight?"