As usual, I had great plans that didn't quite work out. I wanted to make this chapter longer, but the second part was growing too big and slow-burning, having such contrast ruined pacing. This happened several times already, so I hope I am able to actually learn and avoid this. Hopefully, despite my life complications I will get back to writing and next chapter will come soon and fleshed out.
"This is worthless! I understand that the gesture is more important than content, but don't you think it would enhance the gift astronomically if it was what he actually wanted?" Megumin nagged blue haired girl.
"Don't be so dramatic, it's just the first thing that came to mind. Also, I gifted many sacred relics to my champions! All you ever bought was food for Komekko!"
"Yeah, right, then according to your crazy stories the last thing you gifted was yourself? I don't even need to ask Kazuma about how it went…"
"Cut it out, guys! Mmph, girls. Force of habit, excuse me. You are not helping. You two were a team, weren't you? How did you manage anything at all? If you don't have anything meaningful to say, don't! Your complaints always sound like trying to pick a fight."
"I agree, Visha, but Megumin was right about this one in particular, no offense, Aqua. Why would Naofumi need sunglasses?"
"I don't know, because he is a hermit who wants to hide his face?"
"That's not true at all! And wouldn't sunglasses make him stand out more?"
Subaru stopped near them, catching his breath for few moments. He inferred they looked for a present, or maybe presents, probably for aforementioned Naofumi. He hurried to interrupt before offended Raphtalia would spiral into rambling about how mistreated her friend was.
"Hello, everyone. Fine day to pick a present for a loved one, huh?" Subaru threw out his guess headfirst.
Raccoon girl stared into the ground, red and silent, while Megumin retorted.
"Welp, Raphtalia asked our help with picking a good present. Aqua just tagged along, I guess."
"Hey! Don't make it sound like she didn't want my opinion! As a Goddess of Axis church, I know about love and relationships well more than any of you."
"Pfft, I'd rather ask Vanir for a love advice than-"
"Don't speak so casually about it! I am not asking any of you for 'love advice'. I wanted a good present for Naofumi, and all you do is cracking jokes at each other!"
Raphtalia perked her chin up, still a little embarrassed but talking back sternly, while Visha rolled her eyes, not sure why she even was here. While Serebryakova had a fair share of interactions with army men, she wouldn't consider her experience particularly helpful for Raccoon girl. Having exchanged few stories, Visha long ago realized both of them had been sheltered, but in vastly different ways.
Many of soldier's friends were simple, in the best possible meaning of that word. The many hardships they encountered had put various comforts of life into perspective, shaping their desires, expectations and emotions. Most people she knew would be satisfied with practical but thought out present, indicating some level of compassion and attention to their needs.
For example, Weiss would probably enjoy getting new good boots since he spends a lot of time patrolling, running errands and otherwise wearing down both his legs and older boots. Recieving something like a fancy hat or a book might strike him as a cop-out or a sign of neglect towards him, even if it was harder to get. Visha had one particularly negative experience with giving a gift, to Tanya. Back then she didn't know her well enough, and asssumed that, as any young girl, she wants a beautiful dress – especially in contrast with the dull uniform. She was wrong, and while Tanya did say she appreciates the gesture, her commander had no desire to ever wear it.
On the other hand, Raphtalia was a peculiar mix of childlike naivety and conflict-born cynicism, while having barely interacted with men outside of Naofumi, who unquestionably adored her, among his other companions. In eyes of Visha, Raphtalia's maiden love was extremely obvious and yet Shield either didn't notice or ignored it. She assumed, Raphtalia wanted to stand out to her benefactor, in (probably) vain attempt to get more of his attention and affection, thus requiring very personal and deep present to be given.
Megumin and Aqua agreed with the base concept Viktorya laid out, but noted that the lasting effect, as emotional memorabilia, might be more important for Raphtalia. Especially if it's something the man has to deliberately choose to use, and not something he absent-mindedly carries. Something that fits this description to the fullest probably would be the best gift in this situation.
"Well, don't you need a MAN's opinion? Mine, that is. Alright, gimme a moment... Hmm, I don't know him that well. I know he is independent, thrifty and... family-oriented? See, some good wordsmanship I pulled off to make him look nobler!"
Subaru stepped in, bowing ceremoniously immediately after finishing the speech. His only other pending task besides gathering people was solving housing problem. He hoped Visha could relate the message to Tanya, so he doesn't have to find her, while Aqua and Megumin will find Kazuma. He planned to fetch Petra and Meili from visiting Filo either way, but going to Shield along with Raphtalia was more convenient than approaching him alone.
"Thanks, I guess? I will appreciate any input. In short, we look for something of practical application to him, that he would use a lot. Preferably not just a piece of clothing, but I might settle for such if we don't find anything better."
Raccoon girl responded briefly, pondering whether Subaru was just joking, hinting at his troubled relationship with Naofumi, or there already were issues with her Master's reputation even here. She knew the boy often acted goofy for sake of laughs, constantly switching between his serious side and comically exaggerated one. Raphtalia was rarely amused by his antics, but she could see how the atmosphere brightened when Subaru was around. Kids were especially in love with him, even Filo had come to trust him pretty much immediately, to great dismay of Naofumi.
Recieving cold treatment, Subaru opted at amplifying his jester-like behaviour, as well as dramatically imitating deep grief upon each rudeness or 'percieved' rudeness, possibly drawing from his 'abusive' friendship with Ram. That caused Naofumi to avoid him entirely, furthering whatever misunderstanding they had, making him perhaps the only person Subaru absolutely failed to get along with.
"Mmm, then how about walking me through what already you have considered and discarded? And what is your 'passable' shortlist?"
And yet now he proposed to help her and Master. Judging by his look, he was in hurry going somewhere but stopped to talk to them. Having known him for a while, Subaru did occasionally help people with various everyday chores, when he wasn't busy himself. Usually he didn't ask for anything in return, citing he would spend his favor later, or if it was on regular basis Subaru could ask for small things, such us buying him or someone from Emilia's camp a snack.
Thus, Raphtalia had to assume this time Subaru needed their help in particular. In her case, most likely with approaching Naofumi about some kind of request. Unlike her Master, she didn't have any personal issues with oddly eyed boy, only having slight distaste towards his rashness, so helping him in return was perfectly fine. Especially if it somehow helps to mend the rift between the two guys.
"Alright then. Keeping this brief,..."
Girls already had cycled through various types of presents, eventually favouring accessories and less so, specialised clothing, such as big and thick adventurer's cloak made from dark opaque fabric, that Megumin eyed in one of the shops for several weeks now. Visha in turn suggested custom gloves, perhaps tailored with help of Aqua, Kazuma and various other people with necessary craftsmanship skills. Aqua herself had numerous counter-proposals of varying reasonability, all shot down by Raphtalia due to not fitting Naofumi's character at all.
"So, does that mean no one has thought of giving a camera?"
Subaru inquired after Raphtalia finished retelling their perturbations with multiple corrective interruptions from other girls.
"A camera? What's a camera?" Raphtalia never heard of such thing, which prompted dejected Aqua switching to excitedly explaining what it is, surprising Visha with how advanced such contraptions had become. Though, one of the reasons no one have suggested any technical accessories was lack of them in this world. Almost all of them belonged to local establishments, such as karaoke bar and cinema.
"So, if you have proposed this, then there must be a way of acquiring it, right?" Visha had to address the glaring issue with Subaru's proposal.
"Well, you asked only for my opinion..." Subaru coyly smiled, staring off into the sky.
"We didn't even ask. You just butted in." Aqua still was in extremely bad spirits due to all of her suggestions shot down, while Subaru was enjoying all the attention. "You also haven't thought of maintenance, have you? I mean, such things run on batteries."
"That's exactly what I am hinting at. We need magical camera! In Lugnica there were various 'metias' that basically replaced their technological counterpart. Though, I find it unlikely anything like that would make its way here, but I will ask Otto on your behalf anyway."
Subaru paused, adorning more earnest look
"What I find more likely, is that due to Ainz's origins and... before-transportation occupation, he could have acquired some kind of recording device. He also still has access to what he calls an interdimensional storage, so it's very plausible he has it right now, here. Another question is, though, whether we – normal humans – can use it..."
"Don't skip over how we are supposed to get it! Why would Ainz exchange such valuable thing?" Raphtalia was a bit intrigued by proposal initially, but quickly figured it was hardly going to lead anywhere. "And its existence is also conjecture! This is the most worthless proposal, actually."
"Well, I still think it's overall feasible to get, you just have to say whether you like the idea or not. So far you don't have anything concrete, if I understood you correctly. That's why I decided to think like was in your shoes but back home – what would I give to my family member – and only then narrow down the results based on whether it is possible at all. Then I would rank the list based on how easy it is to access them."
Subaru still argued the worth of his proposal, not relenting that his method given time and effort by definition is superior, since with so many magically talented people around you are far less constrained than you would normally think. While it made sense in concept, in reality so many things could go wrong or end up a waste of time, it made both Visha and to the lesser degree Raphtalia irritated, since both had a life of restraint and scarcity behind them, adopting quite the opposite style of decision-making. They also worked part-time, unlike both Aqua and Megumin who had much more time on their hands, on the contrary getting excited with prospect of finding more elaborate and exotic gift.
"Why don't you just try and do both at the same time? It's not like you can't walk through shops while discussing the matters I laid out."
"How much time do you expect us to spend going through this? I work somewhere almost every day. Chocolate won't buy itself!"
Visha was livid from imagining how much time they would have to waste, going around asking all kinds of things from endless fantasy list. That's not even mentioning all the trouble that comes with trading those items.
"Well, how much do you have? Based on what I have heard, you probably started to look a week or two in advance. If you still got so much time in reserve, I see no reason not to aim high – to look for something outside the realm of a common present. I can help, all you have to do is to think about it in your free time."
"It's all talk, Subaru! You haven't simplified our job in the slightest." Raphtalia groaned. "Rather, now we will have even more doubts when we come across something suitable!"
Subaru plumped down his shoulders, crossing his hands. He thought he saw a good opportunity for killing two or more birds with one stone, solving the group's problem and tasking them with rounding up their companions immediately after, but he underestimated how set in her way Raphtalia was. Even worse, he seemed to have irritated her, but he didn't want to back down and still hoped to turn this around, with everyone benefitting from friendly competition.
"Fine! I'll go ahead and try to get the camera and you, Raphtalia, will pick whatever you like from local shops. If you keep insisting on gifting something you find, mine would be the present from whole Class 2... By the way, what's the occasion? I mean, if it's some local Valentine's day, that would be..."
"It's Naofumi's birthday! Or the closest thing to it anyway. It's the anniversary of the day he was summoned to my world to save it. Since he had told me about this, I kept track of it, even here. It's in 8 days. I can't say he's very fond of that date himself, but that's why it's even more important!"
"Hmmm. Looks like you were just looking for any reason to gift him something big. Not that I am one to judge! Anyway, you and I have about 7 days to get what we find suitable as a present. Of course, final decision is yours. If I need anything from you, I will get in contact."
"And I will be the judge, right?" Aqua butted in. "I could also further consult both of you, unless it involves undead (except Wiz). But boo- khm, drinks and food is on your tab. Raphtalia, I told you, we should have invited Kazuma! He doesn't care for Naofumi, but I am sure he could come up with something. Especially if you treat him. Have anyone met him after classes?"
The group looked among themselves, recalling the events of the day. Usually his party waited until everyone finished their committee duties, but this time Raphtalia asked them for help in picking a present, apparently wanting to keep it confidential from anyone not directly involved. Therefore the only thing they exchanged this morning was that they would be busy with something secret and that Kazuma shouldn't worry if the girls will be coming late.
Today, after giving few tips on the matter Darkness had to leave due to her other commitments, promising to spend her next days helping Raphtalia if she would still need it. They agreed to meet again in the diner area for dinner at 7, also expecting Kazuma to arrive there somewhere around that time, as he usually liked to eat later than most. The time wasn't due yet, so he could be anywhere from dorms to mall area.
Subaru wasn't aware of Kazuma's plans either, on the contrary, he hoped girls would help gathering necessary people. Now his plans went awry, but there still was a good chance everyone would stay late and Kazuma naturally stumbles upon the meeting. The only thing left to do was checking dorms, and since he hasn't secured anyone's assistance, he had to check it himself. Now his route, including fetching Petra and Meili, was essentially a shuttle run between several fairly distant areas.
"Alright then. The race for Naofumi's happiness is on! But, in all honesty, I just wanted to indebt you four with my best-of-the-best proposal. I was looking for Kazuma and wanted to meet or send a message to Tanya, so you were perfect for dumping on my responsibilities. But, fate played a trick on me, instead giving me new ones!"
Subaru said that in solemn voice, straightening his track-suit as if it was a fancy jacket.
"But what about me? I thought you needed something from Naofumi, no?"
"Eh, it was more of a 'taking an opportunity' thing, really. Going to Naofumi with you all bubbly, talking about how thankful you are – among many other future events, that would chip away whatever bad impression I made on him, this can't last forever. I have to get Petra and Meili home today anyway, so... Well, that's besides the fact that I wanted to help you just for sake of it."
Subaru continued to play a straight man, though having smiled in the end.
"Well, frankly, today's meeting is ruined. But, it's basically the first one when we got to go looking through shops and we have plenty of time anyway. Everyone's tired and I am too buzzed to think straight, thanks to you in particular, Subaru. I don't want to be insensetive when lending help of other people, so I think it's over for today. Thanks, everyone."
Raphtalia wanted to sound more upbeat than she felt, she didn't want to drag this out, afraid of being inconsiderate towards people who agreed to help her. Victoria placed hand on girl's shoulder in calming manner, looking to reassure her.
"Don't worry, it's alright. Had fun hanging out with you, hit me up if you need something again. Oh, and Subaru... Tanya took upon finishing paperwork today, she is staying late but promised to come to diner eventually."
"Yeah, if we meet Kazuma at home we'll tell him you were looking for him."
Subaru put his hand up in pause gesture, wanting to elaborate on his mission.
"About that... You see, the reason I was looking for Tanya is that we have new arrivals, from yet another world, and since Roswaal is out of the picture, we have to manage them ourselves and she is on good terms with administration here. These newcomers also wanted to gather all kinds of experts on magic, they have some kind of trouble with their own."
Megumin suddenly pirouetted closer to Subaru, getting in her casting stance.
"THEN HOW COULD YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE GREATEST ARCHMAGE THERE IS? I, MEGUMIN, COMMAND THE GREATEST OF ALL MAGIC –EXPLOSION!"
"Not here! Not now! NOOO! I WON'T CARRY YOU THIS TIME!"
Aqua wailed, hastily grabbing Megumin by the hands and pressing them back to her waist, almost hanging on the Crimson Demon.
"Stop it! I am not dumb! People need my magic, I am not gonna blow my only shot. I... I just wanted to emphasize how foolish it is to forget about me and look for Kazuma."
"Seriously? You are a walking disaster! Nobody needs explosion magic here. Not even a little bit. But my divine touch..."
Aqua scoffed pridefully, despite Megumin rude attempts at prying her off while retorting, as if forgot of everyone around them.
"Guess I would still have to go look for Kazuma. Damn. Well, at least the housing issue will hopefully be solved..."
Subaru tried to break the awkward atmosphere between the three uninvolved in the infighting. He wasn't willing to interrupt the hassle, as both party members would probably react poorly towards meddling in-between them. It was either Kazuma or someone imposing that could reliably break them up, and Subaru didn't want to test his luck any more this day.
Subaru and Visha quietly exchanged goodbyes, before leaving dumbfounded Raphtalia dancing around the warring couple, her unfamiliar with how usual and inconsequential those bouts were. Subaru still had to visit Kazuma's place, since he was sure girls would rush to the diner immediately, eager to meet new guests.
I don't want to make any definite statements, but as of now I've had another writing idea pending for few months already. When I finish dealing with Louise and Saito I will likely go ahead with another story, but will try to update this one as well.