Author's Note:

Was looking for good time travel stories. Went to the hobbit section. Why are all of them Mpreg? Come on guys I just want lore consistent non-romance focused time travel fics.

Also HOLY SHIT. Master Chief Collection might have up to 40-60 players in matchmaking. We're going to learn the true meaning of Big Team Battle. Hell yeah boys. By the way after E3 which was shit I'm excited for Life is Strange True Colors and Outerworlds 2. That's it, that's all from E3 I cared about. Other than that, Horizon Forbidden West, Nier Reincarnation, Halo Infinite, and Little Devil Inside.

Thanks to GeonteneArgon00 for pointing out an OOC mistake I made last chapter. Ruby should like math.

Cover Art: Cruz7808

Check my profile for polls and planned fics!

Review, point out mistakes, and flame!

Chapter 16- FAQ

"I'm certain we're going to see more of him now that he's joined the Reds and Blues." Blake commented.

"FAQ" appeared on screen with the theme.

Weiss glanced at the title and gasped. "What is wrong with them!? That is so offensive."

"That's a Q, not a G." Blake pointed out.

Weiss blushed, "Oh.." she said as she reread the title.

"What the Faq does that mean?" Yang asked with a knowing smirk.

Ruby groaned, "Frequently asked questions."

"I can name a few, who's Locus? Who's the character that sounds like Jaune?" Yang listed. "Where did they crash? How did they crash? Oh! And you can't forget…"

Ruby caught on and giggled. "Why are we here?"

"The most frequently asked question in Red vs Blue." Jaune chuckled.

Fade in to the canyon. The Reds and the Blues are standing in line in front of Felix, in the middle of the canyon. Cut to Doc standing up in front of Felix.

Doc: "There, good as new."

Felix: "I can't feel my toes."

"Again, their- or rather his!" Weiss pointed, "Lack of medical knowledge astounds me."

Donut: "That's normal."

Felix: "Is it?"

"For Doc it is." Nora giggled.

Washington aims his rifle towards Felix's face.

Felix: "H-hey, whoa!"

Washington: "You need to start talking."

Felix: "Hmm, aggressive, paranoid, and a little melodramatic—you must be Agent Washington."

Blake chuckled, "Well.. that describes him."

"No wonder you like him, all of that also describes you." Yang twirled her finger in Blake's face.

"Maybe at the beginning of the year." Blake rolled her eyes and pushed Yang's finger aside.

Tucker: "Ha! Melodramatic."

Felix: "And that means the rest of you are the Reds and the Blues."

Caboose: "Oh my God, how did he know that?!"

Grif: "We're wearing red and blue armor."

Caboose: "But how can he tell?"

Grif: "(exasperated) Will somebody please fix his helmet?"

"He shouldn't worry, Sister can't tell either." Yang laughed. I wish she would come back into the show, she was great.

Washington: "How do you know who we are?"

Felix: "Seriously? Come on man, everybody knows about you guys. You're heroes."

Weiss sat up, "What?"

"They're famous now?" Pyrrha grimaced.

"I worry that will go straight to their heads." Ren deadpanned.

"Yeah it probably will but- they're famous?" Ruby reiterated.

Sarge: "Heroes?"

Felix: "You're the team that brought down Project Freelancer. You're some of the galaxy's greatest soldiers!"

Weiss snorted, the others joined in laughing with her.

"Oh man." Yang wiped her eyes, "That's good."

"Only Wash can be considered one of the galaxy's greatest soldiers.. I assume because Project Freelancer was the best of the best." Blake explained.

"They're good fighters, but not soldiers." Pyrrha chuckled. "And.. well I hesitate to say fighters."

"They're great when they're a team." Ruby suggested sincerely.

Pyrrha nodded, "Yes, thank you. Sorry. Anyway, they became famous for taking down project freelancer?"

"It makes for a good story, they were subjects in an experiment who rose up to take down the leader of it all." Blake pointed out.

"A good story.." Ruby frowned. "So hey.. it's still super weird that we're a show right?"

The others looked at her a little surprised by the sudden question. They looked at each other and then back at her.

"Well.. yeah but it's actually surprising how little it affects me." Yang realized. "You'd think I'd feel different knowing it but I mean.. eh I don't. It's.." she paused. "It doesn't really change anything y'know?"

"It's like a cool fact that only we know." Jaune added.

Yang nodded, "Yeah it is."

"Do you think we're a good story though?" Ruby asked.

Yang laughed, "Oh is that what you wanted to know?"

Ruby blushed, "Yeah.. all that existential stuff is cool but whatever! I just hope we make a good story."

"We fight monsters and we're flashy fighters." Yang smirked. "Best action story ever."

"Considering the trailer we watched." Ren glanced at Ruby. "It probably is an action heavy story."

"Yeah!" Nora, Ruby, and Yang cheered.

Weiss sighed, "I would say my taste in stories is more refined than that. But.." she looked at the screen and chuckled to herself. Blake had a similar thought and joined in.

Simmons: "(looks at the others) Well, I can see how you might think that."

Sarge: "Because it's absolutely true!"

"Yeah!" Nora whooped.

Doc: "It's partially true."

Grif: "But mainly false."

Washington: "Stop giving him information."

Blake sighed, "He's still paranoid."

"It kind of reminds me, remember what Tucker said?" Jaune asked. "When they were really mad at each other."

"Wash is an ex special ops guy used to being betrayed." Blake nodded. "It was cruel for him to say but there's some truth to it. Wash's paranoia is justified after everything that has happened to him."

Washington: "(to Felix) What's your name?"

Felix: "Felix."

"Felix.. matches his personality." Yang shrugged.

"I can see you as a Felix, Jaune." Nora pointed.

Jaune laughed nervously, "It actually sounds like a really cool name. There are so many Johns and people always confuse me with a John and never pronounce my name right. I wouldn't have that problem if I was named Felix."

"Name change!" Nora shouted. "You're Felix now."

"No you can still call me Jaune- please call me Jaune not Felix." Jaune pleaded.

"Too late Felix." Nora giggled.

"She'll forget about it soon enough." Ren assured Jaune.

Washington: "Okay, Felix, what are you doing here?"

Felix: "Do you want the long answer or the short one?"

"The fuzzy one." Ruby joked.

Pyrrha giggled and gave Ruby a short nod of approval.

Washington: "Do you want another bullet in your leg?"

Felix: "Hey, that bullet's there because of you."

Tucker: "He's got a point."

"He does." Jaune agreed.

Washington: "(lowers gun) Just...explain what's going on."

Grif: "Uh yeah, like who were those guys that were trying to kill us?"

Simmons: "And why haven't we been rescued yet?"

Felix: "Wait, where do you think you are?"

Tucker: "What do you mean?"

Felix: "I mean, do you understand where you've crashed?"

"Frequently asked questions, we're going to get answers." Blake realized.

"Finally!" Ruby cheered.

Sarge: "Well, we've been taking bets. Highest wager's currently on Bermuda Triangle. After that, we've got Gilligan's Island and purgatory."

"They've mentioned a purgatory before. I don't know if when they say it they mean something specific or just an empty space." Ren commented. "It was during season eight when their armor was locked."

"No idea what the Bermuda triangle is or who Gilligan is. No surprises there." Yang added.

"I wonder if those places are like fairy tale dangerous places." Ruby pondered.

Grif: "So stupid."

Donut: "No, just think about it. It makes perfect sense."

Felix: "The reason no one's come to help you is the same reason no one's come to help them."

Cut to four white soldiers, dead on the ground.

Ruby's eyebrows raised, "What?"

Simmons: "Them?"

Cut back to Felix.

Felix: "The people on this planet."

Washington: "What planet?"

Felix: "Chorus."

"The Chorus trilogy." Jaune commented. "So it's all about this planet."

Tucker: "Never heard of it."

"Never heard of it?!" Weiss frowned. "You'd think they'd know every planet that people are on. That's like not knowing all the kingdoms!"

"Or it means there are so many that they lost count! That's so cool!" Jaune grinned.

"It's unimaginable, that amount of expansion." Ren mumbled. "And yet we can't safely settle our whole planet, or even leave it. All dust fails before leaving the atmosphere."

"Well that's another reason why we're here." Ruby grinned. "Maybe once we deal with all the Grimm, we can find a way to go to other planets."

"And fight space Grimm!" Nora grinned, imagining the fights.

"It would be worrying if Grimm weren't native to just this planet." Ren frowned.

Felix: "Well, I wouldn't expect you to. It's on the very edge of colonized space, and after the war between the humans and the aliens, it was more or less forgotten by Earth and the UNSC."

"Forgotten by the government.. like so many settlements and towns." Ren grimaced.

"Like Menagerie." Blake sighed.

"Well, we won't forget about them." Jaune put a hand on Ren's shoulder.

"Menagerie needs us too, I want to go there someday." Yang comforted Blake. "It's the fifth kingdom."

Grif: "We crashed in the middle of nowhere, on a planet in the middle of nowhere. Fucking beautiful, everybody."

"They know how to get in the worst possible situations." Weiss chuckled.

"Truly beautiful." Nora nodded.

Simmons: "But how did we end up so far from home? (camera focus on Sarge) It should have been a short flight."

"I've been wondering that as well." Pyrrha hummed.

Cut to the inside of the spaceship, before the crash. Sarge is seen tampering with the ship's engine

Spaceship operator: "Sir, please, you can't be back here. These engines are delicate."

Nora giggled.

"Not surprising that Sarge was involved too." Weiss shook her head.

"Again I think all of them are involved. And it's still a little humiliating that Wash is included." Blake grumbled.

"If they can manage to crash a ship, the people piloting the ship and working on it don't know how to handle people." Weiss pointed out. "I'm not saying they should be blamed but.. I feel like they should have been more careful."

Sarge: "Can it, Poindexter. No wonder this flight's taking so long! Who ever heard of delicate engines? These engines are supposed to be big. Loud. And terrible for the environment! Let's kick this baby into slipspace!"

Spaceship operator: "Wait!"

Alarms and flashing red lights go off.

"Yeah it has to either be a big car or the biggest, meanest animal! Red team always travels in style." Nora grinned.

"So far it looks like Sarge did the most damage to the ship." Jaune commented.

Cut back to the canyon.

Sarge: "Uh, one mystery at a time there, Simmons."

Felix: "Now, being a small planet, completely free of UNSC jurisdiction, the nice little people of Chorus decided to run things on their own. The only problem was, they didn't do a very good job."

"They couldn't make a sustainable government." Weiss grimaced. "That is partly why the kingdom of Mantle failed."

Grif: "Ugh, history's the worst. Can you just get to the point?"

Ruby nodded, "I like engineering and physics more than history."

"History is the worst." Jaune sagged. "I think it wouldn't be so bad if all the assignments weren't a thousand pages."

"I like Dr. Oobleck's class." Blake smiled, "He relates everything we learn in class to the world today, he makes history so much more relevant. Which it is, the Faunus revolution was very recent."

Felix: "The point is, you've crash-landed (cut to an overhead view of the canyon) in the middle of a civil war. (back to Felix) And I'm on the side that's trying to keep you alive."

"A civil war? Wait, why would either side care about them?" Weiss asked.

"They're some of the galaxy's greatest soldiers." Blake quoted.

"That's why Locus wanted to kidnap them, to force them to fight for their side." Ruby realized.

"That's awful, they never asked to be involved in this." Pyrrha shook her head.

"Well kidnapping someone is a great way to get them to want to fight for you." Jaune laughed sarcastically.

"…There are ways to force someone to fight." Blake explained darkly.

Jaune winced, "Oh."

Washington: "And which side is that?"

Felix: "The New Republic. Essentially, a bunch of people got fed up with the way things were going on Chorus, so, they put together a rebel army and decided to fight for their freedom. It's all very patriotic."

Tucker: "So, what? Does that make those guys (cut to the dead white soldiers) the Evil Empire or something? (back to Felix)"

Felix: "Yeah, you could say that."

"Seems more like a revolution than a civil war." Blake commented.

"What's the difference?" Jaune asked.

"Dr. Oobleck would say there isn't much of one, but he also said if there was a difference.." Blake thought for a moment. "If both sides want to change things, that's a civil war. But if one side wants things to stay the same, and the other wants change. That's a revolution. If two factions of Atlas wanted to either ban all expression or say that everyone had to be expressive then that would be a civil war. But the White Fang's original goal and.. I guess even their current one. Is change. While the kingdoms don't want to make any big strides for change."

Tucker: "Oh. Well, fuck."

Washington: "But why the attack? Why try to kidnap us?"

Felix: "It's like I said: you're the greatest soldiers in the galaxy. That makes you a pretty hot commodity. And I'd be lying if I said my shitty attempt at a rescue mission didn't have a few strings attached."

"The New Republic wants the Reds and Blues to fight for them too." Blake shook her head.

Sarge: "What kind of strings we talking here?"

Felix: "(sighs) The rebels need your help. Once they heard that you were on Chorus, they sent me out with a small team to find you and bring you back. They're hoping you might be the key to winning this war."

"It's interesting." Ren smiled, "They were fighting a fake war before. And now they're involved in a real one."

The Reds and Blues look at each other for a moment.

Grif: "Hmm, no."

"Or not, I don't blame them." Yang shrugged.

Felix: "(surprised) No?"

Cut to the top story of Blue Base, where everyone has moved.

Simmons: "Yeah, no."

Caboose: "Yeah, that, that's not gonna work, for me."

"Wait but why? Locus attacked them. The rebels need their help." Ruby looked around the room.

"It's not their fight." Blake explained.

Washington: "Look, Felix, I hate to break it to you, but we're in no condition to fight a war."

Tucker: "All we want is a ride off this shitty planet. No offense."

"Shitty planet, it's a different planet. I can't imagine being able to go to another one." Yang sighed. "Is it weird to feel trapped by that?"

"No, I think it would be grand to go to another planet." Pyrrha looked out the window.

Felix: "Meh, it ain't my shitty planet."

Doc: "Aren't you one of the rebels?"

Felix: "No, I'm a freelancer."

Everyone sat up in a flash.

The Reds and Blues (except for Caboose) immediately aim their weapons at Felix. Even Doc raises his medical scanner.

Felix: "(quickly) No, I-I mean I'm a mercenary. You know, a gun for hire."

"Ohhh that makes sense." Yang nodded.

"He's what we originally thought the freelancers were." Jaune chuckled.

"Everyone except Caboose pointed their guns at him." Pyrrha noted with a smile.

"Even Doc pointed his thing at him. He was probably ready to overcharge it to short out Felix's armor." Ruby commented.

"He's becoming less and less of a pacifist every episode." Ren frowned.

The group lower their weapons.

Grif: "Oh, thank God."

Washington: "They paid you to come find us?"

Felix: "They pay me to do lots of stuff, but yeah, you're my current paycheck."

Washington: "So you want us to go fight someone else's war, just so you can make some extra cash."

Blake chuckled, "I think Wash was right to be suspicious."

Felix: "...Uh, it's for a good cause?"

Ruby nodded, "It is."

"It's still not their fight." Blake restated.

"I know but.. I'd feel weird not trying to help in some way." Ruby shrugged and blushed.

Everyone smiled, it was just another reminder that Ruby truly was a paragon of what a huntress should be.

Washington: "Right. We'll just take that ride out of here, if you don't mind."

"They used to always go along with whatever anyone else asked them to do. Kinda weird hearing them say no." Yang commented.

Tucker: "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! Mediocrity."

Grif: "Woohoo! Here's to not going that extra mile."

"Not joining a war isn't something that they should do that they're not doing." Blake frowned. "It isn't their fight."

"Yeah but standing by and doing nothing is still something." Ruby pointed out.

"Of course, they should still help but they don't have to fight." Blake commented. "Everyone who believes that Faunus should be treated better don't have to fight. Just not stand by doing nothing if they see discrimination. And listen to our problems."

Felix: "You know, I wasn't alone when I came out here to find you. There were three of us. Just think about that."

Felix turns and walks away.

"I think he cares more about this war than he lets on." Pyrrha noted.

"He's so awesome! He's a freelance mercenary with a heart of gold! And I bet he's an awesome fighter too!" Jaune gasped. "I wonder if he's as good or even better than a freelancer!"

He kind of reminds me lf uncle Qrow "You definitely got a good character to voice." Ruby smiled. "You and Pyrrha."

"Yeah I don't think this guy's got Carolina beat. I'd really like to voice someone badass." Yang smiled.

"I'm quite happy with my voice in the show." Weiss smiled. "It was.. unique hearing my own singing. Obviously I've heard it before but it's different hearing myself sing when I know I personally never performed the song."

"I just hope I voice someone other than female Simmons." Ruby frowned.

"Heh I got to voice female Donut. I'm happy with that but I still want a badass character. Ugh I wish I voiced Tex. But Goodwitch works for her, not that I'd ever tell her that." Yang smiled a little sheepishly.

"I think C.T. was cool but she was too serious." Nora admitted.

"If my voice appears anywhere it would be interesting no matter what." Ren shrugged.

Grif: "Whatever. It's not like we asked them to save us."

Simmons: "(sarcastically) Yeah, we definitely didn't build a giant radio tower to send a distress signal or anything."

"Yeah they didn't, Wash did." Blake crossed her arms.

Grif: "Shut up."

Felix walks to the edge of the base and activates his radio.

"Every time I hear that radio I expect a 'Hey dude'." Yang chuckled.

"I miss Vic." Ruby sagged, "Hearing dad talk like that was so funny."

Felix: "Headquarters, this is Felix. I've made contact with the Reds and Blues."

Headquarters: "(over radio) Holy shit, you found them? That's great! Um, what's your status?"

Felix: "Not good. We ran into some Feds. I need an evac team."

Blake tilted her head. "Feds.. hm."

Ren smiled, "Sounds like reds."

"That was intentional, I like it." Blake grinned.

Headquarters: "(to himself) Dammit. (to Felix) Uh, Felix, I can't just fly somebody out there."

Felix: "Yeah, I know, okay, but you send as many men as you can, as fast as you can. Locus has our position."

Headquarters: "Oh, no."

Tucker: "(overhearing) Who's Locus?"

Felix: "(to Headquarters) Now I want to do this quiet, and I want to do it right. But just to be safe, bring a shitload of guns."

"Won't be quiet." Nora smirked.

"I want to see all those guns." Ruby added.

Headquarters: "Right. Sending reinforcements, sir."

Felix: "Roger. Felix out."

Felix ends his transmission, turns, and walks back to the Reds and Blues.

"Even though he's a mercenary, it sounds like he has a commanding position." Weiss hummed. "Like a war contractor."

Grif: "So, what now?"

Felix: "Now we work on making this canyon the most defendable hole in the ground the universe has ever seen."

Washington: "Why?"

Felix: "Because we're about to get hit, hard. I need a detailed list of the supplies you've got on hand. Let's set up choke points, and mark potential sniper's nests."

"He knows what he's talking about." Jaune smiled. He's as cool as my great great grandfather. I grew up on stories about him from Dad.

Washington: "Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. We're not telling you anything. We still don't even know if we can believe you."

Felix: "Well, believe this: if we don't prepare for a fight, we might as well just be waiting for a massacre."

Washington: "(bows head acceptingly) Tucker, see if you can fix Caboose's helmet."

Caboose: "Yes, who said that!"

"Blind not deaf." Ruby giggled. "He did the same thing in the memory unit.. well I guess he didn't but you know what I mean."

Washington: "Sarge, you and the Reds build up an arsenal. If we can use it as a weapon, let's get it prepped."

Sarge: "I can think of a few things that might come in handy."

"So CiCi will actually help them." Weiss tilted her head.

"Yeah! Sarge will actually fix a problem." Nora smirked.

Washington: "Felix. You and I aren't done talking."

Felix: "Well all right then. Let's see if you guys are as good as they say."

Grif: "Prepare to be sorely disappointed."

The episode cuts to black.

The whole group laughed at that.

Thanks to Warbird, Forsty Zuko, and Kyle Bradley Fernandez for the questions they wanted the characters to answer.

I think I'll have them answer them after season 13's finale reaction.