Navy Blue

Anastasia and Christian meet each other when they're 18 with different dreams. Hers is to be a singer and his is to be the corporate mogul we know and love. What happens when an evil and manipulative Elena gets in their way and deludes them that it'll never work out?

Chapter 12: Brutal

All I did was try my best, is this the kind of thanks I get?

Un-relentlessly upset.

"I was wondering if you'd have lunch with me today?"

It's 12:44, nearing 1pm on a weekday afternoon. Christian's hopeful eyes are enough to make me agree to this sudden lunch invitation. He's wearing a business suit, indicating that he's just come from GEH. His puppy dog demeanour softening my hostility somewhat.

"Sure." I smile, tightly. "Come in, I just need to get changed."

There's an awkwardness in the air. It was just last night when I poured out everything to Christian, putting my best foot forward and offering an olive branch of trust, and then subsequently arranged a newfound friendship with said ex.

"This is so weird." I mutter as I rummage around for a suitable outfit to wear.

Two weeks ago, I never would've thought I'd be on speaking terms with Christian, let alone trying to be friends with him. Admittedly, some part of me thought that agreeing to be friends with him would be enough to make him back away and leave me to my own devices. However, based on the fact that he's here in my apartment, waiting to take me to lunch, I was clearly wrong.

"Come on, let's go!" He grabs my face to kiss me fiercely and then stalks inside my apartment in order to make a beeline straight to my bedroom. I'm left flabbergasted at the entrance of my apartment.

I stifle a laugh as he comes out with an outfit of his choice from my wardrobe. He ceremoniously hands them to me and ushers me into the bathroom.

"Go where?" I giggle and halt him in his tracks.

"It's our one month anniversary." He says obviously.

I laugh out loud this time. I'm giddy at his enthusiasm to celebrate such a meagre accomplishment. It's clear he's dressed to go out, donning a smart jacket with a crisp white shirt.

"Christian, no one celebrates that." I shake my head, endearingly.

"You and I do." He starts his way to the bathroom again, dragging me along behind him. "Now, get your delicious ass into the shower and get ready for our date."

"Aren't you gonna come join me?" I bat my eyelashes.

"Ana." He groans. His eyes suddenly becoming dark, smouldering as his breathing increases in pace.

I cup his face and give him a sweet kiss which he deepens. Soon, articles of clothing start to come off and we're blindly making our way through my apartment.

"I've made reservations for 4pm." He groans in between heated kisses.

"We'll get there in time." I breathe.

I get dressed in a simple blouse and blue faded jeans. I take a small purse with me to put my keys and phone in as well as my wallet. Christian smiles at me when I re-enter the living room.

"I thought we could walk?" He suggests. "There's a good restaurant near here. It's menu is really varied so there's a lot of options depending on what you're feeling."

"Have you been before?" I ask, as I lock up the apartment.

"No." He scratches the back of his head. "I looked it up last night. I wanted to be sure that they had things you liked."

"Oh." I look down, not knowing what to say. "That's very sweet of you, thank you."

"It wasn't a problem." He grins, clearly appeased by the praise.

As soon as we enter the elevator, a stifling energy engulfs the both of us. I'm taken aback. It's like we're magnets being forced onto each other with our wills holding us back. I catch Christian's eye in the mirrored doors of the elevator and he's looking at me with a steamy gaze. I gulp down excess saliva forming in my mouth and my breathing gets even more laboured.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I screech on the inside.

The elevator doors open and we both release a breath of relief.

"What is it about elevators?" Christian shakes his head and I snort at his candidness.

We walk quietly side by side for a few minutes. The tension is probably heightened due to the fact that I didn't realise I'd see him so soon. The fact that I know I've bared everything to him and that he knows all the events which happened over the years and then seeing him the day after- it's too much.

Relax. My subconscious rolls her eyes. It's just lunch.

Right. I breathe out. It's just lunch.

With my ex.

Who is technically my boss.

Panic resume.

"You okay?" Christian's words are the only thing stopping me from hyperventilating right now.

"Yeah." I gulp. "I'm fine."

My voice is too high, too unlike me. A key telltale sign that I'm nervous. My hands are subtly shaking but I hide them in my pockets. We continue our walk to the small Italian restaurant near the Pike Place Market. It's quiet and cute. A calming bustle of chefs and waiters in the restaurant.

"It's strange, isn't it?" He opens the door.

"Huh?" I look at him.

"Being friends." He chuckles harshly, as if the word itself is a bitter pill. "You hated my guts a few days ago."

Before I could say anything, a waiter takes us to a small table near the window. He makes a show of handing us our menus, reciting the specials before offering us a few drinks to have at the start. We both decide on water.

"I wouldn't say hate." I clarify when the waiter leaves. "Strong dislike was more like it."

"Extremely strong." He agrees. "You're really scary when you're mad, you know."

We both laugh at each other. The tension finally dissipating and disappearing from the atmosphere. I look around the restaurant before down at the menu. I smile, wistfully. He always knew how to make me feel better. Suddenly, I hear a click and I look up at him glancing at his phone with a satisfied grin.

"Did you just take a photo of me?" I stare at his phone, quizzically.

"Yup." He confesses, with no shame.

"What?" I screech and scramble to grab his phone. "Delete it!"

"Nope." He says, popping the p. "You look cute."

He turns the phone around and on display is a picture of me smiling down at the table, deep in thought.

"What're you doing?" I giggle.

It's a rare sunny, scorching hot day in Seattle and we're currently out for a picnic. I've worn a flowy summer dress and taken my flats off to feel the grass on my feet. Christian stands opposite me, a camera in his hand. As if on cue, he lifts it up to his eye and takes another picture.

"Documenting." He crouches down to get the perfect shot.

"You're taking pictures." I kneel down onto the picnic blanket.

"Exactly." He takes the camera off his eye and grins. "Documenting."

He takes photo after photo of me with the scenery, the grass, the blanket. Me against everything. He takes another photo of my toes on the grass and I wiggle them in retaliation.

"Lie down." He orders, angling the camera at my face. I love seeing him like this. All happy and relaxed and in love.

"Christian!" I laugh.

"Humour me, Ana."

Like the lovesick girl I am, I indulge him in his whimsical requests. I lie down onto the blanket, careful not to mess up the food we've brought with us. My hair is strewn along, decorating the grass and some of the blanket. I smile at the camera.

"Beautiful." He whispers in awe. I feel cherished in his view, always.

I blush deeply and he strikes with his camera, taking many more.

"Take some with me." I whine after a few minutes go by. "The camera roll is gonna be filled with my face."

"I wouldn't mind that." He chuckles.

I roll my eyes and pull him down for a heated kiss. I moan when his tongue teases through my lips and dances with mine. We break apart after we're both breathless. He nuzzles my nose with his and I sigh blissfully. This man! Oh, how he makes me feel!

I spy the camera lying on the grass where I grab it with one hand and raise it up high. I grin cheekily at Christian next to me. We're both in the frame looking delightfully mussed with the sun glowing on our skin. It's the perfect picture.

"Smile!" I click the camera.

"Are you okay?" He looks at me, worriedly. He fingers his phone between his hands. "If it bothers you, I'll delete it."

I squirm uncomfortably in my seat. That's not why I'm bothered but I can't exactly tell him I'm uncomfortable because I keep getting flashbacks of our time together. He locks his phone and puts it away face down onto the table.

"Ana, you can tell me anything, you know that, right?" He gently offers.

I shift under his tentative gaze. How is it that he always seems to know what's going on inside my head? Or am I that much of an open book?

"I can't seem to keep anything from you." I whisper wryly.

"I like to think I know you well." He shrugs, then smiles. "I'd like to know you better."

He probably already knows me better than I know myself. I bite my lip in thought. I don't really know how to breach this type of conversation so early in the day, and without a bottle of wine to raise my courage.

"Th-the reason you left…was because you thought you were hindering me right?" I take the plunge.

He stiffens. I wait with baited breath as I fidget with the table cloth which has draped over my hands. He runs his hands through his hair, a habit of his.

"Yes." He confirms. "I honestly thought you were better off without me. You could've done better without me there, you did do better."

I shuffle my weight uncomfortably in my seat. Something about it just doesn't feel right. I sigh and lean back into my seat.

"Is there more?" I press, almost pleadingly.

"What?"

"Is there more to it than that?" I know I'm grasping at straws here but I really need to know. My mind is gnawing at me with an instinctual knowing. I want him to tell me that there was more to it, a complicated mess in which he couldn't get out of, or a change of feelings.

Although, deep down I think it's because my ego is hurt due to his short succinct answers. I think something bigger than a simple misunderstanding would've been easier to forgive. I hate to think out relationship had ended because of that one explanation.

I thought our love was worth more than that.

It deserved more than that.

I swallow bitterly as I note the intended distance between us. Both of our hands hidden underneath table, once upon a time would've been caressing each other with light touches and traced fingertips. The tense and awkward atmosphere filled with staggered conversation.

More than this.

"Ana, I-"

Before he can say anything, we're interrupted by a multitude of squeals. We both cringe at the same time from the high pitched harmony.

"Oh my god! It's Anastasia Steele!"

I try to brace myself for the onslaught of fans but as I'm waiting, they never come. I look back to see two burly men in suits keeping the fans at bay. They form a sort of barricade against the group of teenage girls waving their pens above their shoulders. When they notice my eyes on them, they squeal even louder, their pens flying higher than ever.

I sink down in my chair as I face the table again. I catch Christian's eyes as he lets out a worried look.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." I sigh. "I just feel guilty."

"You have every right to demand privacy and quiet time for yourself, Ana." He reassures. "You're at a restaurant, you're about to eat. You didn't come here to sign autographs."

"You're right." I sigh. "I just- I can't help it."

I can tell he wants to comfort me but without breaching his status as newfound friend, he's not sure how.

"Thank your guys there for me." I nod over at the two men who're sure to be on his payroll.

"It's their job." He shrugs.

"It's their job to protect you." I snicker. "It's not their job to get mauled by 14 year olds."

"It's their job to protect me and everyone else who's important to me." He lets me know. "You being the utmost on that list."

My breath hitches at his candid confession, and a piece of my armour cracks with just the sight of his earnest smile. Before I can maintain my composure and seal over the minuscule chip in my defences, I hear Ray's voice in the back of my head on a loop.

There's no point starting again if you ain't going to start over.

Start over. I halt the efforts of my subconscious and tentatively order them to stow their tools away. My still cracked armoured heart being left fragile and unsecured. Is this me trying to let him in again? In a deep breath, I undo the hold those incessant questions have on my being.

In the end, maybe we were meant to fall apart, so that we could fall back together.

Soon enough, the waiter comes with our food and we begin eating.

I don't know how it happens but conversation flows seamlessly after that. Maybe it's cause I've let go of the nerves. However, as I laugh and smile at Christian's story about Elliot on a chaotic summer's day, I can't help but to be in awe of him.

He knows how to pick up staggered conversation and keep me involved. He knows how to read my body language and sit in comfortable silence and he knows how to put me at ease. He knows which stories to tell and make me laugh when a few minutes ago I was scowling. In the end, Christian always knows how to simply be with me.

I'm scared to think he still knows me from the inside out.

Scared? My subconscious quips. Or thrilled?

We finish lunch quickly as I'm conscious of the time. I'm aware he needs to go back to the office since it's still a work day. I remind him and he looks at his watch as if it offends him. He offers to continue for another hour but I doubt he's free for that length of time.

"Don't cancel your meetings." I giggle. "It's fine."

He walks me back to my apartment, at his insistence. He clearly doesn't want to go back to work and I'm flattered at the thought. We exchange banter throughout the short stroll and we soon reach my apartment in record time.

"Thank you for lunch today." I smile. "It was really good."

"Thank you for letting me take you out." He counters.

I fumble with my bag for my keys and it's the only sound echoing in the vast hall. I find them and turn the key in the door.

"Can- can we make this a regular occurrence?" He suddenly asks me before I can step foot inside.

I take a look at him. He's shy, timid. A side of Christian Grey I thought I'd never see.

"It doesn't have to be lunch." He rambles. "It could be breakfast or even dinner… I'd just like to spend more time with you."

I smile. I find his teenage fumbling quite adoring. He looks like a boy who's bashful about his first crush. My mind is going a mile a minute. Do I want this to become a regular occasion? After today, minus the awkward start, I don't really see why not.

We've already established that we're friends. The lines don't have to be blurred. We can just hang out. Right? Right? On the other hand, would it be good of me to lead him on when I'm still unsure of my feelings towards us?

I start gnawing on my lip in uncertainty and I realise I've taken too long to respond when he starts to backtrack.

"If you're busy it's alright, of course."

I stifle a laugh as he rubs the back of his neck.

"No, no." I put him out of his misery. "I'd like that. It would most probably be breakfast though. Most of my meetings happen in the afternoon."

"Breakfast." He nods to himself, almost as if he's already planning ahead. "That's perfect."

I press my lips together to keep them from twitching with girlish glee.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I whisper.

He lights up at my initiative.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Steele."

Christian's POV

"Sir, Mrs. Lincoln is in the lobby requesting a meeting with you." Andrea's voice comes through the intercom. "You said to take her off the prescribed list, I'm not sure how I should proceed."

"Thank you, Andrea." I pinch my nose with my forefinger and thumb. "Just send her up."

"Of course, Mr. Grey."

I've had a a great afternoon with Anastasia. I admit I was surprised when she allowed me to take her to lunch but I'm glad she's allowing me space in her life. We're friends, after all. She's just honouring her part in our friendship.

A part of me was scared that she'd just suggested friendship so that I'd leave her alone. I can't help but feel the gnawing in my stomach as I recall her questions about our separation. Of course, a significant part of me had always known she deserved better- that she could achieve more without me. That was the only reason I'd said yes to her. It appeased my guilt but a lie of omission is still a lie.

And now Elena is here.

I groan in frustration. When will this nightmare end?

"What is the meaning of this, Christian?" Elena barges into my office. "You've taken me off the list?"

Her voice irritates the fuck out of me and I wonder how I'd listened to it for so long without my ears bleeding from the sheer screech. I make a mental note of blocking all of her access to me, which includes trying to set up any meetings such as this.

"You're not family." I shrug.

Hell yeah, she's not. The next time she comes up to GEH or Escala, she's getting escorted off the premises.

"I am your friend!" She justifies. "I've saw you through it all!"

Saw me through what exactly? All she's done was provide me start up capital and she's provided no support after that, whatsoever. All she's done was hang onto my mother with a vice grip and enjoy the seeds of that friendship.

"And now your chapter in my life has ended, Elena." I curtly bid her farewell. "Please see yourself out."

"Just you wait!" She screeches. Her nostrils are flaring angry and the rest of her face is an angry red. "I'll tell her everything!"

I narrow my eyes at the word 'her'. So, this is what she's dwindled down to. Anastasia is her trump card just because of that wretched bargain we struck long ago and I want to wash my hands off of this devil. I've paid her back the money I owed and then some.

"I knew you would come to your senses." Elena laughs in glee and it makes me clench my fist in irritation. I was raised to never lay a hand on a woman but God, if there ever was an exception.

I stand in front of her desk, looking like a broken man. In a way, I am. I haven't ate nor slept well since I left Anastasia. I miss her so much. Too much, in fact. It's like every cell in my body is screaming for me to get her back.

My phone rings for the umpteenth time today and my body whines in sadness. It's Ana, again. My heart clenches as I stare at her photo on the screen. I close the screen and watch Elena sign and input the amount of money on her chequebook.

This is wrong. My thoughts cycle over and over again. My phone buzzes again in my back pocket and it accompanies the recurring thoughts in my head.

"A pleasure doing business with you." She hands the flimsy piece of paper in between two fingers as she hands it to me. "And may you and that Ana thrive without distraction."

I snatch the paper from her, and pocket it.

"Do not speak of her." I glare. "Don't you dare say her name."

"Anastasia will thank you for this." She ignores me as she continues her taunts. "You both weren't fit for each other."

I storm out of her office, the weight of the signed strip of paper suddenly feeling too much to bear as I feel the buzzing start of another phone call. I break out of Elena's building and grip my phone tight.

Maybe just this once.

"Christian?"

Her voice knocks the wind out of me. I hold my breath. The ache in my chest now a gaping black hole. Her tone is desperate, croaky, as if she can't believe the call actually connected.

"Christian, please." She chokes up.

I listen to her sniffle as she breathes. I feel my own eyes start to sting with the onslaught of tears as I lean back against the red bricks of an old building downtown.

"Christian, please talk to me." She's pleading.

Oh, baby, no. I don't want to hear you like this.

"Please, I love you so much." She sobs.

I reach my limit and end the call as my throat gets tighter. I slam the phone next to me as my knees crumble with the weight of deep emotion. I wipe my eyes with the heels of my palms but the tears just keep coming.

"Anastasia will thank you for this." Elena's voice echoes through my head.

"No, she won't." I whisper in anguish as I try to remove my love's sobs from my mind but it's relentless. It plays in loops over and over again. I'm left gasping for air.

No, she won't.

It's clear that Ana is the only hold she's got. The bitch has resorted to blackmail, I snort. I'm not really surprised. I glare at the stance she's showing- both feet apart with her hands on her hips, I stifle a laugh as I throw her off in the only way I can.

"I've already told her." I state, simply.

It takes a minute for her to register the words. Her steel resolve crumbles as she realises her only lifeline had been snatched away from underneath her shoes. She gulps heavily as she weighs her options.

"W-What?" She falters.

I smirk and shrug innocently, enjoying her turmoil.

"I already told her the truth."

"You can't be serious." She scoffs.

"I am." I nod, seriously. "And from now on, if I ever see you step foot near Anastasia, my family or GEH, I will be taking matters into my own hands and filing a restraining order."

"Christian..." She looks panicked and completely out of her element.

"I will ruin you, Elena." I cut her off and give her a cold, threatening glare. "Make no mistake about that."

I press the button on the intercom and alert Andrea to escort her out. My stone cold facade disappears as soon as the bitch slams my office door. I also alert Taylor to get a head start on that restraining order. I don't want that witch anywhere near Anastasia. I sigh deeply and rub my eyes with my fingers in frustration. I lean back in my chair and glance at the photos of Ana and I on my desk.

I hold the one of the two of us, taken by Ana on that one hot summer's day in June, where we lay on a picnic blanket glazed by the sun. She needs to know, but before I can tell her, I need her to see the extent of my love for her. In return, maybe she'll love me as much as she did back then. Hopefully, it'll shield the fall and make her see that I'd never make such a mistake again.

God, it's brutal out here.

Thank you for reading!

As always, please leave some lovely reviews, they're always a joy to read.

Song for this chapter is 'Brutal' by Olivia Rodrigo!