An Itch That Can't Be Scratched Is More Annoying Than Missing The New Weekly Shonen JUMP Issue

(Takes place after chapter 6: Yoshida Shouyo)

The day he'd taken off the bandage on his right eye, Tsukuyo found Gintoki staring into the bathroom mirror, with a hand at the new scar that he had running straight over his eye.

"What're ya starin' at?" she asked, tentatively and stood beside him.

"Just...looking for a mirror universe...don't mind me," he replied dryly.

"Don't think ya gonna find one," she scoffed.

"How would you know? Maybe there's a mirror universe somewhere in there where I'm a millionaire. If I stare at it long enough, maybe it'll appear."

"Don't hold ya breath. Idiot. They don't exist. Now cut it out. Come back to bed, it's still early," she said, putting a gentle hand on his arm.

"In a minute," Gintoki replied, moving his fingers slowly over the scar with a slight grimace.

"Is it hurtin'?" she asked.

"Not really."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"Well..."

"What? Was it bleedin? Do we need to put the bandage back on?"

"No!" he exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. He'd made no secret of the fact that he'd hated having his face bandaged up. "Err...no, it wasn't, we don't need to do that. It's just...it's itching like hell," he grumbled, sounding a little embarrassed. He'd been trying to itch the annoying scar but whenever he tried, he just ended up pulling at the new scar and making it hurt and tug at his skin.

"Oh," Tsukuyo nodded in understanding. Her own facial scar still itched from time to time and the Hyakka had similar problems too after scaring their faces and forsaking their womanhood. The skin on the face actually moved quite a lot and when it tugged at any scar tissue the result wasn't usually pleasant.

"Damn thing woke me up," he added, "It's driving me crazy."

"Mmmm," she nodded. Then she opened the bathroom cabinet and took out a small pink jar then took off the lid.

"It just itches and itches and itches and it won't freaking stop! And the more I try and scratch it, the more it itches!"

"Mine does too sometimes," she said. The jar she'd picked up was full of a sweet smelling cream, some of which she scooped up on her index finger. "This always helps," she said.

"What is it?"

"Just stops the itchin'," she shrugged, "Won't help much for the scar though."

"As long as it stops itching, I don't care," he said, almost growling at his reflection while he tried to scratch at the scar again.

"Move ya hand out the way," she said and gently rubbed the cream into the scar that ran right over his eye.

"Smells weird," he remarked while her fingers moved gently over his skin. He closed his eye so that the cream wouldn't irritate his eye and so that she could get to his eyelid which had also been scarred.

"Yeah," she agreed.

She'd been hesitant to let him out of her sight since he'd woken up and started talking again so when she'd woken up and found him gone moments ago, she'd ran through the house trying to find him. He'd probably heard her and there was no way that he'd failed to notice her behaviour recently, but he hadn't mentioned it, at least not yet and she was grateful for that.

"Guess we match, huh?" he mumbled, staring at their reflections through one eye. The scar over her left eye was as prominent as ever and the one now over his right eye was almost identical to hers.

"Guess so," she hummed, pursing her lip.

"I'm drawing the line at wearing matching clothes though," he said, sarcastically.

"Hmmm," she hummed again, unable to take her eyes away from the scar on his face.

"What?" he asked, looking around, wondering why she was staring at him. "I got something on my face? Did you draw on my face with that stuff?" he asked, "Did you doodle some glasses and a moustache or something?"

"No, I didn't," Tsukuyo scoffed. She wiped her hand on a towel and then put away the jar of cream.

"Seriously, what's with the long face? Is something wrong? You've been acting odd lately, are you okay? Are you sick?"

"I ain't sick," she said.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked, tilting his head and staring at her intently.

"Nothin'," she replied, quickly. "Does it feel any better?" she asked, gesturing to the scar.

"Bit, yeah. Thanks," he nodded.

"Good. Now ya can come back to bed..."

"Not till you tell me what's bugging you. Oh, I've got it," he snapped his fingers. "We missed the new release of JUMP, didn't we? Damn it. Been kinda...err...busy lately. We'll go out and get it as soon as the shop opens and..."

"It ain't that," Tsukuyo said, shaking her head incredulously, "I don't even care about that, I..."

"Now I know you're lying. You've been dying to find out what happens to..."

"Yeah, but it ain't important. It can wait. Ya ain't goin' out till ya better. Doctor's orders," she told him.

"But I am better!"

"No ya ain't!" she exclaimed. "Look at ya-self! I just...I was worried about ya, we all were. And I'm still mad at ya. Ya would've gone off to fight him all by yourself, wouldn't ya? Ya would've left us all behind and gone off to die and what the hell would we have done if you didn't come back?! Even with all of us there ya still ended up all beat up..."

As she spoke, Gintoki sighed. That had been his plan; to go away with only Katsura and Sakamoto and Takasuki to fight Utsero hopefully stopping him before he reached earth and destroyed the planet. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, his plan had gone awry and he'd been joined by a literal army of his friends and allies.

"I've had worse than this, y'know," he remarked.

"Doubt it," she said, scoffing. "Doctors thought ya were gonna die," she added after a moment in a quiet voice.

"My doctor tells me that all the time," he waved a dismissive hand. "S' why I don't go anymore. They're just lazy and they can't be bothered with me anymore so they just tell me the same thing over and over again."

"They didn't think ya would, but they said if ya actually did wake up, ya could've ended half blind, or with a leg ya couldn't walk on 'cause ya hurt it so bad, or..."

"Well, I'm fine," he said, shrugging. "Okay, maybe I won't be running any marathons anytime soon but..." he added, shifting his aching leg a little.

"Ya won't be doin' much of anythin' any time soon, ya can barely move!"

"Oi, what's that supposed to mean? I can move just fine...just about," he said, defensively but he faltered a little when she stared at him, clearly in disbelief. "Stop giving me the death glare, already, geez," he said.

"I ain't givin' ya any 'death glare'...what's a 'death glare', anyway?"

"That!" he exclaimed and pointed right at her. "That's a death glare right there. It's scary," he shuddered and she let out a rueful scoff.

"I ain't doin' any stupid 'death glare'," she said, quietly.

"Like hell you're not. You're the queen of death glares. Y'see, you're still doing it!"

"Even if I was...which I ain't...it'd be 'cause I'm still mad," she said, sniffling a little, "But I ain't glarin'."

"You don't sound mad."

"Well, I am."

"Usually when you're mad at me, you throw your damn kunai at my head."

"I ain't gonna do that when you're already all beat up like this," Tsukuyo said. Honestly she worried that one kunai to the head was all it would take to finish him off for good. He still looked tired and most of the bandaged in his arms and tires were still there. He was walking with a limp when he thought that no one was looking but if he knew he was being watched, then he'd hide it, and he hid it very well.

"Oi, I keep telling you, I'm fine...I mean, I'm glad you're not gonna attack me with a kunai or anything, but I'm fine," Gintoki insisted.

"Uh-huh," she rolled her eyes and turned her back to him, then took a few steps out of the bathroom. When he reached out and grabbed her hand, she was forced to stop but she didn't turn round again to look at him. "What?" she asked.

"You can stop worrying already, I'm fine," he told her, gently and laced his fingers with hers.

"I ain't worryin'," she snapped, pulling her hand free and wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm just mad. Not worried," she insisted.

"Right," Gintoki nodded, smiling a little.

"Really, really, really mad."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm just really, really..."

"I get it, I get it. You're mad at me, not worried at all," he said, "Maybe 'cause my head got hit in the fight, I got confused. My mistake."

"Not funny," Tsukuyo said and snorted despite her comment.

"It was a pretty bad hit," he shrugged and scrubbed a hand through his hair, "Maybe it scrambled my brain or something."

"Ya got parfait for brains anyway."

"Sympathetic as usual," he said. He let out a dramatic sigh and took a step closer to her so that he was standing right in front of her. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her gently against his still wounded and aching chest. "I'm doing this so you won't be mad at me anymore, not because you were worried. I just don't like it when you're mad," Gintoki muttered, "That's all." He rested a hand against the small of her back and brought the other up to the back of her head to toy with strands of her hair.

"Hmmm...'kay then..." she mumbled back. Trying not lean against him and avoid his wounds, she rested her head against his right shoulder and brought one of her hands up to rest it over his chest then wound the other around his waist.

"Is it working? Or are you still mad?"

"Still mad," Tsukuyo mumbled, closing her eyes as she let out a deep sigh against him.

"Gonna be here a while then, I guess," Gintoki replied.

"Are ya ever gonna stop doin' stupid stuff?" she asked after a moment.

"Maybe when I'm old and wrinkly and I can't walk or something...but probably not. When I'm that old I'll just attack people with my walking stick. They won't know what hit 'em. It'll be fun."

"Fine...then just promise me ya won't try and run off by ya-self to fight people...with a walking stick. Ya can ask me for help. Even if we're both old. I could still throw kunai at people when I'm an old lady," she said. He tightened his arm around her a little and held her even closer but he didn't say anything. "Just say it. I don't even care right now if it's a lie..."

"But...now you'll know it's a lie and you'll just get mad again. Is this a set up?"

"Idiot," she grumbled. "Why didn't ya trust me...or anyone else...enough? Why did ya try and leave to deal with this alone?"

"It's not about trust. Of course I trust you. And I trust them. I just didn't want to drag you into this. It was my fault it happened. You know that. And we thought...Utsero...was immortal," he said, resting his face against her shoulder.

"Wasn't ya fault," she stopped him.

"Doesn't matter either way I guess," he shrugged, "It's over."

"Hmmm," she hummed. "Ya still an idiot. And if ya go runnin' off like that again, I'll kill ya myself before ya can even blink," she said.

"Okay, I get it. No running off," he smiled a little.

"Not even to buy JUMP."

"Oi, now that's different."

"How is it..." she began to ask but she stopped then they heard the shoji door slide open.

Gintoki looked up and saw Sadaharu standing there, his large paw on the door. The large, white dog tilted his head at them and let out a cheerful sounding "Arrrrp."

"Occupied," Gintoki said, dryly. Tsukuyo turned her head a little and blinked in confusion at the sight of Sadaharu waiting there as though he wanted to use the bathroom.

"Arrrrppppp..." Sadaharu said again and slid the door closed. They could hear his large paws stomping on the floor as he walked away from them.

"Since when does Sadaharu use the bathroom?" Tsukuyo mused.

"No idea," he replied, curling a strand of her hair around his index finger.

"Huh."

"Maybe he's finally toilet trained and we won't have to walk him to let him do his business outside anymore."

"Dogs don't use toilets."

"Says who?"

"They just...don't."

"Why not?"

"'Cause they ain't people!"

"Well, who says only people can use toilets?"

"Animals don't use...wait...why are we even talkin' about this?" she scoffed

"It's important," he replied dryly and she sighed, smiling into his shoulder as she let out a quiet chuckle.

"No, it ain't," she chuckled.

"You can't be that mad anymore if you're laughing," he said, sounding relieved.

"I am," she insisted, "I'm still mad."

"I know," he said, much more seriously, "I know."

"You look horrible," Otose greeted Gintoki as he limped into the bar later that day.

"Yeah, well so do you, you old hag. Actually, you look worse than me. A million times worse!" he retorted, "You look like a train wreck...a train that wrecked and then exploded and then had a bomb dropped on it."

"Charming as ever," she scoffed and stubbed out her finished cigarette in an ash tray.

"I'm plenty charming," Gintoki said. He sat down on one of the stools and stared at her.

"Uh-huh."

"But not to old hags."

"Just for that, I'm doubling your rent."

"Oi! Gimme a break! I'm wounded, I can't work like this!"

"You haven't paid me any rent for two months," she said.

"Well, I've been busy!" he said, defensively. In fact, since the whole mess with Utsero had started, the rent had been the last thing on his mind and Otose knew it just as well as he did.

"Fine. I'll let you off the hook. Just this once," Otose said, lighting another cigarette.

"Really?!"

"But you better pay next month, you hear me, you damn useless layabout," she added, sternly and pointed at him.

"I hear you already, quit shouting at me," he grimaced. "I'll pay next month. Right on time. Bright and early. Definitely. Every penny," he said.

"That'll be the day," Otose snorted.

"So err...I was err...wondering...y'know those err...those letters I gave you...before I left. You didn't err...y'know...I men, you've still got them, right?"

"Might do," she shrugged.

Before he'd left with Katsura and Sakamoto, initially intending to fight Utsero themselves, Gintoki had written three letters; one for Tsukuyo, one for Shinpachi and one for Kagura. It was hardly the first time he'd left to go and fight but this was probably one of the only ones where he genuinely thought that he might not return. He'd given them to Otose and made her promise to only deliver them if he was definitely dead.

"Oi, are you serious? You gave them the..." Gintoki stood up quickly, clearly agitated but he stopped when the stitches in his stomach pulled uncomfortably and he doubled over. "F***...that hurt..." he grumbled, quietly.

"So don't move so quick, idiot. Sit down before you start bleeding all over the bar," she said.

"F****** stitches," he muttered as he sat back down carefully. Then after a moment, he looked back over at Otose. "So you actually gave them the letters? Did they read them?! They never said anything about..."

"You told me to give them the..."

"Yeah, but..."

"Relax, you idiot. I've still got them," she rolled her eyes. She reached into the sleeve of her kimono and took out three envelopes and then put them onto the bar. He slumped in the stool in relief and sighed.

"You sent them after us, didn't you?" he asked. "I told you not to do that! I just said give them the damn letters if I die! It's not like I asked you to do anything difficult! But oh no, you had to send them off into space to fight a monster with us!"

"They were set on going before I even said anything," she shrugged, "I just...pointed them in the right direction," she answered.

"They could've died."

"So could you," Otose remarked.

"Huh," he muttered and snatched the envelopes in his hand, stuffing them into the sleeve of his yukata out of sight.

"What'd you write in them, anyway?" she asked and poured him a small glass of strawberry milk.

"Nothing important," Gintoki muttered . "Nothing they don't already know," he added much more quietly.

"You never seemed like the type for death bed confessions," she remarked.

"And it wouldn't have been. 'Cause they're not meant to see them till I'm actually dead. Stupid granny. And I'm not dead. So it doesn't matter."

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to respect your elders?"

"Guess I skipped that lesson."

"Huh," she scoffed. "So...what're you going to do with them now? Those letters?"

"Burn 'em, I guess," he shrugged. "Maybe I should save 'em for next time...it's not like this is the first time I've almost kicked the bucket," he mused.

"Or you could just stop looking for trouble and stop risking your damn neck every five minutes," Otose said.

"I don't look for trouble, trouble just always finds me," Gintoki defended, "It's not my fault."

"Right," she scoffed.

"It's true!"

"'Course it is," she sighed. "Seriously, you're a handful. You need to grow up," Otose told him as he took a sip of his strawberry milk.

"Is this is about the rent again..." he drawled.

"If you'd actually died, what'd you think would've happened to those kids?" she asked.

"They're not exactly 'kids' anymore."

"You have responsibilities," Otose said, much more sternly.

"And I suppose going off to try and stop an evil monster from destroying earth is the sort of thing a kid would do, eh?" he snapped.

"They'd have been devastated if you'd gotten yourself killed. And what about Tsukuyo? How'd you think she'd have coped? She's put up with all your c*** for this long and you'd have just gone off and died and left her here?"

"She's already mad at me for that..."

"She should be."

"I don't need a lecture. Look, I didn't die! I'm fine. We stopped Utsero and the world wasn't destroyed. It's all fine now! What are you so worked up about? It's not the first time I've been hurt like this and it probably won't be the last and..."

"That's the point! You need to stop risking your life like you don't even care, you damn useless perm head and think about the consequences!"

"The world would've been destroyed!" he exclaimed, "That's a pretty bad consequence!"

"That's not why you went and that's not why they care either. And you know it."

"It's not like I had a choice. Sensei would've...I mean, Utsero could've killed them. Whatever. I guess I should've just marched them out into space after him, huh? It was all my fault he turned into a crazy killing machine in the first place, but what's that matter?" he mocked and then slouched as much as he could manage over the bar. "They'd have been okay...even if I'd died. They're strong. They'd have managed without me," he added after a moment.

"Idiot," Otose sighed, letting out a puff of cigarette smoke. She didn't believe it for a moment and she doubted that he did too.

"Che," he scoffed. "Oh, great..." he grumbled and scratched at the scar on his eye again. "Now the damn thing's itching again," he said.

"Stop messing with it," Otose said.

"Quit nagging me, old hag, and go get Tsukki and her magic jar of magic cream before I scratch my damn eye out."

"A magic what? What's a 'magic cream'? Do I even want to know?"

"Urgh, I'll go get her myself," he grumbled and stood up then walked out of the bar. "Oi, honey!" Otose heard him calling as he walked up the stairs. "Your magic cream wore off and now I'm gonna scratch my eye out again! I'll give you a hundred yen if you let me use it again. Please I'm begging you, it's gonna drive me mad!" he exclaimed.

"What's a magic cream?" Otose asked again and sighed.