summary: Ellie notices something Chuck and Sarah never say, and, to maintain their cover, the two of them have to make some changes. The only problem? Saying "I love you" becomes a habit just a little too easily. Someone is bound to slip. Set late Season 2. One shot.
note: so last year I posted a fic, I Only See Daylight. the idea came from a twitter chat and general thinking about Chuck and Sarah and their cover. there are things that I didn't think necessarily happened to them for certain, but things I wish had, or that felt plausible anyway within the weird confines and requirements of a cover relationship. this fic is another idea I had when I wrote Daylight, of something the cover warranted, that Chuck and Sarah end up accidentally doing out of habit. honestly this thing totally ran away from me, I had no idea it was this long until I transferred it into Word from my notes app, lol. I also know all I've posted lately are little canon one-shots, but up until recently they were all I had the capacity for, editing and writing wise. my brain just couldn't handle much more. untiiiil last month or so, when I finally got an idea for another AU multi-chapter, which will hopefully appear here sometime soon, or, knowing me, maybe in five years time! in the meantime here is this theoretical cover moment fic! again, i'm not saying I think this happened, but I set it in canon due to it being something that could've happened, based on the situation Chuck and Sarah found themselves in. it's just some light fun cover stuff, set mid-to-late Season 2, episode cues appear throughout. if you like it, let me know! also, a shoutout to SC and DC. for no particular reason for this particular fic, I just adore them both. you better be reading their stuff, y'all. anyway, peace, stay safe, wear your masks, bye.
disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, shredded cheese, blue blenders, or hotel ballrooms.
you showed me colors you know i can't see with anyone else
It's all Ellie's fault. Sort of.
He should've known, with how observant his sister can be, that she'd notice eventually. Her keen eye on his current relationship has always been scrutinizing, most recently leading her to tell him to end things with Sarah, and then get back together with her, but he should've known that wouldn't be the end of things.
Truly, he doesn't mind his sister's intervention: she's been the only one looking after him mostly from around the age of 9, and definitely since his Dad split. Chuck really can't complain that she cares.
He just wishes she weren't quite so good at noticing things, though.
They're in the middle of the grocery store when it happens.
"Tomatoes," Ellie says as they walk by the very things, and Chuck nods, reaching out and scooping up a pack before putting them in the cart. "Get two."
Rolling his eyes at his sister, he picks up another, before she nods happily and they keep walking through the store.
He doesn't usually accompany Ellie on a grocery run. He very rarely does, in fact; sometimes he makes the trip for them all, sometimes she does, but they're not kids anymore, and he's perfectly safe to be left at home, now. Well, mostly, but his sister doesn't know about the numerous rogue spies perpetually trying to find and kill him. But today, he's got a break from the spy life, a day off, and a break from the Buy More, too. Since he barely gets to see his sister anymore, and Devon is working a shift at the hospital, and they just needed groceries anyway, Chuck had offered to help Ellie with the trip. It's a decision he's only just starting to regret a little. He's forgotten how much his big sister enjoys ordering him around like old times.
As they reach the fruit and Ellie begins inspecting bananas, his phone starts to blare in his pocket. He pulls it out, masking a wince as he sees Sarah's oh so beautiful face grinning up at him from the screen. He really hopes this isn't a mission. Not that he'd mind spending the time with her- kinda the opposite in fact- but this is supposed to be their day off. God knows they all deserve it.
With Ellie still occupied anyway, he picks up.
"Hey, Sarah."
"Hi," she says, sounding upbeat, which gives him a brief feeling of hope that maybe she just wanted to chat. "I stopped by the apartment but you're not there, where are you?"
"I'm shopping with El. She's gettin' bossy with the bananas."
Although he doubts she can hear, Ellie looks over at him with narrowed eyes, and he smiles innocently at her in return. After a second, she looks away, picking up a greener bunch and heading to fruits and vegetables new.
Sarah chuckles down the line, a wonderful sound.
"I see. Will you be back soon?"
"Eh, we only just started. Why, do you need me?" Or, again, does she just want to spend time with him? That'd be nice, really, they've been a little all over the place lately and they haven't really spent much time together. Despite their awkward Valentine's Day the other month, he really does enjoy being with Sarah, watching a movie, sharing a pizza and a bottle of red wine... She's the best company he knows.
"Hm," Sarah says, but there's a note in the word that he recognizes, and he sighs in anticipation. "Not yet. But we might have a mission tonight- just surveillance. It depends on if a mark is gonna be where he's supposed to be or not, Casey's tailing him right now."
Chuck tries not to groan. God, one day the US government will respect that he's just one tired dude who needs a break every now and then. And that his handlers are crazy hard-working agents who need a break from all work all the time, too. Since he can't rant about that in the middle of the store, though, he just runs a hand through his hair in frustration.
"For reals?" he finds himself asking, tone upbeat, a sharp contrast to his true thoughts.
"What?" Sarah sounds confused as she replies, but after a second clarity must dawn, for she keeps speaking. "Oh, sorry, Ellie, shopping, I forgot. Yeah, I know, it's our day off, but you know Beckman..."
Sighing, he nods though Sarah can't see, and then plasters on a smile as he sees his sister heading back his way, arms filled with the bananas, a watermelon, and a pack of strawberries.
"Okay. I might see you later, then?"
"Mmhm. I'm sorry, again." There's a wince in her voice, real apology, but he just hums. It's not her fault, after all.
"Okay, bye," he says, waiting for Sarah to say the same before he ends the call and tucks his phone away, sending Ellie a bright beam, hoping to get her off the scent.
His sister frowns at him a little as she dumps the fruit into the cart.
"Milk." she says, nodding toward the refrigerators, and he starts moving them along again, folding his arms atop the cart and pushing it with his elbows. She's silent a moment longer, before she looks back at him. "Was that Sarah?"
And, there it is. He doesn't really have any reason to lie- if the mission tonight goes ahead he'll be saying he's spending time with his girlfriend anyway- but he'd hoped to keep from bringing it up again for a bit. He should've known he'd be lucky to reach the bread aisle before Ellie asked. When it comes to Sarah, Ellie's like a bloodhound. A well-meaning, looking-out-for-her-brother, bloodhound.
"Yup, just calling to see if I'm busy tonight."
"Hm." Ellie opens a fridge door, lugs out a carton, but he knows by her tone she's not finished. "Chuck, can I ask you something?"
Taking the milk from her and moving them onto the coffee creamer, he nods, tight.
"Sure."
"I might be being a little overprotective, nosy sister here." she warns, almost uncharacteristically, and he raises an eyebrow at her. She looks genuinely anxious, just a little, but it's there; she seems to know she's about to pry somewhat.
But, he knows if he lets this go she'll feel even worse for not asking him. Plus, no matter what it is, he's sure he can lie his way out of it, since that's all he seems to do nowadays. And so he nods again.
"I can handle it. What's up?"
"Do you love Sarah?" she asks.
He then promptly chokes on absolutely nothing. It's not his finest moment.
"I-" he tries, still choking, the words strained. Ellie's eyes widen at his clear distress, then stay wide in shock and probable embarrassment for them both. Abruptly, she tugs on the end of the cart to move them down to the cold cuts and cheese.
"Okay, forget I asked."
He swallows down some air, clears his throat to try and regain some kind of decorum, but Ellie is already rifling through one of the refrigerators, clearly trying to move on and keep busy.
"No, no, it's okay," he forces himself to say, even though it clearly isn't. What can he even say to her? The truth- that he absolutely does love Sarah but he also absolutely shouldn't because she's his CIA handler and things can only get murky there- definitely isn't an option. "Why are you asking?"
Ellie turns around again, expression a little sad, and she tosses a pack of shredded cheese into the cart.
"I don't know, I just..." She looks at him, shakes her head. "I've never heard you say it."
That's it? No big give away about his feelings during that phone call, no huge clue that things in his relationship aren't all that good (because it isn't even real), just... observation?
He cuts off the thought before it can continue- of course Ellie Bartowski just happened to notice it. She's the smartest damn person he's ever known; she doesn't let things like this slide.
He gulps, wondering how the hell he can explain this.
"So?" he asks, before masking another wince- that just opens this up even more.
Ellie huffs a little, lifting a shoulder in a defeated-looking shrug.
"So, when I'd been with Devon for a year and a half and I hung up on him after a call, I always told him I loved him. I heard you with Sarah just now, and..." She shakes her head, moves them around the corner to the frozen section. "I know it's none of my business, Chuck, I know, and I know I encouraged you to get Sarah back after I made you break up with her after that house-sitting thing, but... I figured you at least love her. I know you do. But I just realized you've literally never said it."
He sighs, running another hand through his hair. He should've known this would happen. As he'd thought, Ellie is so perceptive such a thing could never pass her by, but he's sure she's not the only one who would pick up on such a thing. If you're with someone for a year and a half, usually you've said those three words by then; usually, that's the very reason you're still together after all that time. Even with the weird, stilted, on-again off-again cover he and Sarah have ended up having, they should've expected they'd get to this point eventually. Get to the point where they have to say they love each other. Ellie is only looking out for him, always, and here he knows she's not asking to be nosy, to pry, but to check in on him. An almost two-year relationship with someone you don't even love is a painful thing.
Looking at his sister, now determinedly searching for some frozen vegetables, he makes a decision, and sends an apologetic half-thought to Sarah for having to catch her up on this later. Because he definitely will.
"I do love her, El," he says, softly, not even having to lie, and Ellie spins around. Instead of elation, though, she just looks sad and understanding.
"You don't have to-"
"No, I'm serious." he interrupts, stopping her needless placating. Sure he's only saying it because Ellie brought it up, but he's not pretending, now. This is real. "I... I love Sarah more than anything."
Before him, his sister's expression softens, eyes all shiny, and she shuts the freezer door and rushes toward him.
"Oh, Chuck," she starts, but she can't seem to continue, and he smiles a little sheepishly. And then he does lie, blatantly.
"And I've told her."
Because oh, while he's tried to tell Sarah, while he's said other things, like she's the greatest thing to ever happen to him, like he's crazy about her, he's yet to say it in plain words, just those three. Yet. One day, he promises himself, he's gonna tell her no matter what. And god, after bottling it up this long, it'll feel good to get it off his chest.
Ellie beams, though, completely believing him, reaching out and squeezing his arms.
"And she...?"
"Yeah, El." he murmurs, forcing a shy, sheepish look onto his face, pretending Sarah's told him the same. Pretending she feels just as he does.
He can hope she does, imagine she does, and he knows she feels something. Their near-misses, near-kisses, the pull between them, there's something there. But he wouldn't presume she loves him. She's a super-spy, after all, and he's just a nerd with a computer stuck in his big old head.
Once more, though, Ellie grins at him, and he swallows.
"Everything we've been through, the suburbs, the house-sitting, breaking up, it was tough. It... knocked us back a few steps. So we just don't say it much, y'know? I don't want it to become something I just say for the hell of it rather than something I actually mean. So every time I tell her, it's because I really, really do."
"Okay," his sister relents, nodding enthusiastically. "I'm sorry, for asking. You know I don't want to push. I was just... wondering."
"I know, I know. And- and it makes sense, I get it, of course you would've noticed. We're getting better at being more open, I'm trying to be, but it's still tough. We're just, I don't know, private, I guess."
"I know." Ellie says, slowly moving them down past the refrigerators and freezers and into the canned food aisles, smiling softly. "I just, I don't know, I guess I'm used to the old Chuck, who told me he was in love with his girlfriend before he told her."
Although he snorts a laugh at her words while she does the same, Chuck can't help but flush at the memory, too. He'd been such a dumb sap with Jill, rambling out his feelings to his sister over long phone calls, reveling in the mess of emotions he'd been feeling.
"God, I was so stupid back then," he says with a wry grin, but Ellie looks back at him with a frown.
"No, it was cute. You're just more... secretive now, I guess, and I need to remember that." Chuck can't help but furrow his brow at that. He knows he's secretive, he's keeping so many things from his sister, but this, he shouldn't be. In theory. Sarah isn't his girlfriend, after all, but if she were... "But, you have a long-term girlfriend, who you love." Ellie summarizes, with another grin, and Chuck feels his insides churning at the lies and lies.
And yet, as he reaches for a pack of spaghetti, he finds himself nodding.
"I do." he says, and Ellie's replying beaming bright smile, is enough to let him know he made the right choice.
And so, it's Ellie's fault that he then has to tell Sarah about their latest cover problem. He doesn't wait long.
That night, he finds himself walking down Santa Monica Pier, hand-in-hand with his... handler. Lotta hands. Currently, the rogue agent they're tailing, who's suspected of aiding foreign spies, is taking a slow nighttime walk down the pier. While Team Bartowski were initially just following him stakeout-style (complete with Chuck's playlist), when he'd moved out of sight from where they could drive Chuck and Sarah had hopped out of the spy van and followed him. So now they find themselves ambling down the boardwalk, utilizing their cover, acting like every other sappy couple here, minus the slightly indecent makeouts a few around them are engaged in.
Although they're both staying alert and watching their guy, Chuck can't help but note it's also just... nice. It's not too cool out here, the pier isn't overly swarming with people tonight, and they can just walk along it, hand-in-hand, relaxed. It feels almost like a date.
"I'm in position in the parking lot by your eight o'clock," Casey says in their ears, and Chuck grimaces. Well, it feels like a date where your other grumpier government handler is linked up to a surveillance mic, hearing your every word, and just generally ruining the moment.
Casey's information is useful, though; Chuck looks around to his left and sees the spy van now parked amongst all the other pier-going vehicles. It stands out a little, sure, but not so much it'd raise suspicion. And this way, if they do apprehend their suspect and have to knock him out or take him in, they've got a far shorter distance to drag the guy.
With the simple, date-like moment gone, though, Chuck turns to Sarah.
"I should probably tell you something," he says, playing with her fingers in his.
Ahead of them, the agent joins the line for funnel cakes at the front of Pacific Pier, and Sarah gradually tugs Chuck along, waiting for other hungry visitors to fancy some food before the two of them join two spaces behind their guy. A safe, un-suspicious distance.
"What's that?" she asks to his question. He's about to answer when he remembers Casey is in their ears, and Chuck quickly gestures to their microphones. Sarah frowns, but speaks anyway. "Uh, Casey, we're going silent for a minute."
After the Major grunts, she cuts her comm as Chuck does the same, and then eyes him with a curious expression.
"It's nothing big," he tries to reassure her, not knowing if that's the truth or not. "It's just, when you called earlier and I was with Ellie... she overheard the end of our conversation."
Sarah's exprsssion immediately turns worried. She leans in, lowers her voice to a whisper.
"She heard me talking about the mission?"
"No, no, god no," he clarifies, but she still looks so concerned he feels bad. Man, what a way to screw up the beginning of an already awkward conversation. He raises his free hand in a calming move, and Sarah stops herself, visibly taking a deep breath. Out of instinct, he squeezes her hand in his. "She just... she heard me hanging up, and..."
They move up a space in line as he trails off, and Sarah frowns at him for the pause.
"Chuck, what is it?"
"She, uh, she realized that we never say we love each other." He spits it out, a hurried rush, and Sarah blanches abruptly, cheeks paling, jaw dropping a little. While he's surprised by her reaction, a sudden embarrassed warmth rushes over him, his palms getting clammy. Out of habit, he begins to ramble just to try to ease the awkwardness. "You, you and me, I mean, not me and her... And, and so I told her that we do, because, y'know, we've supposedly been dating for a year and a half and it would be weird if we weren't in love, so... So I said that we do say it, just not that much, but..."
"But we... should probably say it a few times in front of her anyway, to keep the cover." Sarah quietly finishes the thought, and he nods, swallowing against the sudden painful dryness in his throat. "That makes sense. Those were good instincts, Chuck."
He's quite aware that her hand has gone completely limp in his. They move a step forward, their mark now the one at the window, and Chuck half-hears the order for a large funnel cake covered in caramel sauce with extra ice cream.
But he can't think about that. Because his handler and fake girlfriend is before him, cheeks now a suspicious pink, eyes looking anywhere but at him, and his mind wanders to his thoughts earlier today, about whether or not Sarah might feel something for him, too. Considering she looks as awkward as he feels, he can't help but think maybe she feels the same as he does. Maybe.
He clears his throat, nods at her.
"I'm sorry it's so awkward. And, that this was so awkward. It's just, you know Ellie..."
"I do." Sarah smirks. "But honestly, I should apologize, I should've seen this coming, with Ellie or anyone. We've been cover dating for a year and a half and... Usually, people say those things, I suppose."
Chuck shrugs.
"Eh, c'mon, it's not your fault, I should've known too. And be honest, when the government stuck you with this cover with this idiot, you never could've thought it'd get to an 'I love you' stage."
"You're not an idiot," Sarah says, immediately, leaning into him with a stubborn expression and lifting a hand to straighten his collar a moment. "And no, maybe not, but... I'm glad I'm still here a year and a half later, no matter what we might have to say."
And then she sends him the sweetest, small soft smile, and he swears his insides melt, there and then.
"Right back atcha, Sarah Walker," he murmurs, and she beams at him in the warmest way. Oh, he's such a goner. And he'd love nothing more than to stay here in this line on this pier, hand in hand, with her smiling up at him. But they have a job to do, a mission, and so he moves them on. "Okay, so... just drop it in every now and then."
Sarah nods, looking away, and he sees her shoulders tense a moment. It's a move he recognizes; when she meets his eyes once more her gaze is steeled, her professional mask slipped into place.
"Yes. I'd say in phone calls, maybe if I'm leaving after dinner, that sort of thing."
"Alright," he says with a shrug, aiming for breezy but likely completely failing. "We can do that."
"And, I-" She cuts herself off as her eyes dart over his shoulder, and she quickly turns her microphone back on. "Martin is moving, we should follow."
Even as he does the same with his mic, Chuck pouts.
"Aw man, I really wanted a funnel cake."
"Come on, Chuck."
With a sharp tug on his arm, she's dragging him away, behind one of the tacky tourist stores as they follow their mark. Thankfully, he leads them right into the parking lot Casey is stationed in.
The incredible-looking caramel and ice cream covered funnel cake is the unfortunate casualty of the fistfight that ensues, landing side down on the ground, unsalvageable. But as Chuck watches Sarah easily take down their mark with two quick punches, and single-handedly drag the guy to the van before he can even move to help, he can't help but be truly in love with her anyway.
It's probably Ellie's fault still that they find their first opportunity to say it, about a week later.
With missions having kept them busy for a while, Ellie casually mentions over breakfast one morning how long it's been since she's seen Sarah. For the cover, Chuck's been with his girlfriend every night he's been away on a mission, but that means Ellie hasn't seen her once. Whether their own relationship is real or not, Chuck knows how much his sister likes his cover-girlfriend, and he knows that while Sarah is never truly comfortable with all of Ellie's real, open, personable warmth, his handler likes his sister, too.
Simply put, they're friends. Far better ones than Ellie and Jill ever were, certainly. When Sarah hangs out with him and his family, Chuck knows it's not just to tick a cover maintenance box off the list, but to also, in part, spend time with people she actually likes.
It's pretty easy to organize a double date-slash-movie night the moment Ellie brings it up. Beckman grants them a free evening for the cover, in exchange for a day spent in Castle reviewing files for potential flashes to make up for the lost time, and so that week they find themselves at Casa de Bartowski, eating a meal prepared by Devon and drinking the red wine Chuck had put in the cart with Ellie last week (they'd reached the wine after their conversation and Chuck had felt an impulse to buy many many bottles).
Although things could be awkward between them all, both Chuck and Sarah for cover reasons and with and by Ellie for her new expectations on their relationship, instead, they're relaxed, comfortable, through the meal. Jokes and laughs are shared, Ellie makes a good few comments about how nice it is to just spend time together.
When they wrap up dessert and head to the couch for a movie, the comfortable atmosphere stays. And when, a half hour in, Sarah shifts closer, ends up curled up into his side, he doesn't fight the urge to slip an arm around her and hold her in return.
For the cover, of course.
As the credits roll, Sarah stretches out against him in a big show, deliberate. She reaches up to the ceiling, making her curves shift and brush against his side, and then fakes an almost comically big yawn.
"Ugh, I have an early shift at Orange Orange tomorrow," she says as scripted. "I should get going."
Where his arms are loosely slung around her waist, he squeezes her a little, tilts his head to catch her eye.
"You sure?" he asks, because he's supposed to, and she sends him a sad smile, perfectly placed.
"Yeah, I need to open and set everything up, and I bet the girl on tonight didn't clean up properly."
He rolls his eyes as he moves his arms, lets her free.
"You should report that to your boss," Ellie says kindly. "It's not fair you end up doing twice the work."
Sarah lifts a shoulder in agreement as she sets up.
"Yeah, I will. I should still get going, though. Thank you, again, for dinner, guys, it was really great."
Devon grins, reaches out a hand for a high-five Sarah returns.
"No problem, it felt good to get my turn to cook, finally. I know my steaks haven't got much on a crispy corndog, but..."
Sarah gives what seems to be a genuine giggle at the reference to the time she'd done the cooking for them all, rather than Devon like tonight.
"Yeah, thank god I'm better at pouring yogurt." she quips, and Awesome booms out a laugh. Chuck stands, helping his handler to her feet as Ellie and Devon say their goodnights.
Instead of moving away, though, or clearing up dishes, giving them some privacy, the two just stay cuddled up on the couch. Ellie switches the TV to a reality house hunting show, turns the volume to low. They talk amongst themselves, quiet, but Chuck knows they'll hear them.
And so while he usually says his goodnights to Sarah at her car or in the courtyard, tonight when they make it to the door, he slips a thumb into one of her belt loops, turning her around and leaning against the open doorframe himself. She looks at him, briefly lost, but he widens his eyes and darts a look behind him, and she nods.
"Call me when the cab drops you home?" he asks, and she nods, slipping her hands onto his hips.
"I will, I promise." she murmurs, and he smiles down at her even while feeling the weight of his sister's gaze on his shoulder. "Will you stop by before your shift tomorrow?"
"Mmhm," he says, realizing she evidently needs to brief him on something spy related tomorrow. "Wouldn't miss it."
She smiles up at him, eyes all soft, then rises on her toes to plant a sweet, soft kiss to his lips.
"Goodnight, Chuck."
He raises a hand, strokes her cheek, and from such a close distance he can see her expression falter a little, surprised at his boldness. But he's feeling a little bold.
"G'night," he says, then kisses her again before pulling back. "I love you."
And he watches as she blinks exactly four slow, stunned times before nodding back at him.
"I love you too."
With another quick kiss, she steps away, turns on her heel, and leaves. Chuck just about hears the hushed 'Aww' from his sister behind him.
The next time isn't long after. This time isn't really Ellie's fault, apart from her being the reason they have to say it at all now.
He's prepping for an overnight mission, stuffing his things into his backpack and making sure he packed his phone charger this time, when he hears a buzzing from somewhere in the room. Frowning, he tries to find the source, rifling through his bag but only finding his PSP, before picking up the whole thing and seeing his phone squished into the covers. Sarah's face flashes upon the screen.
Scrambling to get it before the call drops, he picks it up and hurriedly answers.
"Hey," he greets, leaning the phone on his shoulder and holding it steady with his cheek while he returns to packing. Years of making notes while on calls at the Buy More have trained him for such a move.
"Hey. Are you on your way yet?" Sarah asks.
Glancing at the time on his watch, he wonders if she's calling because he's running late, immediately feeling bad. But he sees, instead, he's still early; she must just be checking up on him.
"I'm almost out the door. Hey, should I bring the DVD player?" he asks, picking the portable device up from his bed. "We could watch something with dinner."
She hums down the line, contemplating it, before continuing.
"Sure. Maybe just bring some TV shows to watch, though, I don't know if we'll have enough time for a movie."
"Got it." he says, turning to his box of boxsets nestled into his fireplace, but then realizes he can't juggle all the things possible. "Wait, I still don't have enough hands, lemme put the phone down a sec and I'll get it."
"Okay," she says with a chuckle, and he tosses the phone onto his pillow. Setting his backpack down on the floor, he stuffs the DVD player inside and then pulls out a few fun DVDs from his boxsets. Nothing too serious or intense for them to watch before a mission, just light, fun things.
A rogue thought occurring, he looks over to his bed, where certain secret Orion schematics sit hidden in a comic book beneath his pillow. He briefly debates taking them, studying them tonight, but he's sure if he did Sarah would notice them, and he still hasn't told her what the scientist had done. What he'd left. And Chuck's still not sure if he should.
Deciding against it, he shakes his head, looking back down at his bag. He just about wrangles everything inside, and manages to almost pull the zipper completely closed, before lugging the backpack onto his shoulder again with a grunt. Finally done, he scoops up his phone again.
"Okay, got it." he says a little breathlessly. "What time is the mission, again?"
"She scheduled the meeting for 1am," Sarah says with a sigh Chuck only echoes. Sarah had briefed him on tonight's mission when she'd headed to the Buy More at the end of his shift, but he'd hoped he'd misheard that particular point. He really has no sleep schedule anymore.
"Damn, that's late."
She hums in agreement.
"Well, that's why you told Ellie you're staying at my place. If we finish before your shift starts tomorrow you can crash at Casey's until the morning, but just in case..."
"It's eat and nap at your place, I got it."
Well, that and maybe watching a few episodes of something light and fun just to make Sarah laugh a bit, but he'll sacrifice a half hour of pre-mission sleep for that any day. He readjusts the bag on his shoulder, suppressing a groan at the weight but keeping it there. If it were truly filled with a spare change of clothes and some essentials for an overnight stay at his girlfriend's place like Ellie will believe it is, it'd be light, easy to carry. Instead, of course, it's stuffed with mission gear. He's got ropes and grappling hooks in case Sarah or Casey need to climb something, various heavy pieces of equipment, a tranq gun he stole from Castle, tons of fake IDs, papers, disguises and outfits... And a DVD player. And DVDs. Just for him and Sarah. Yet the extra weight feels worth it, he can't help but think.
Finally all set to go, he heads out of his room and down the hall.
"You want me to pick up the pizza on the way?"
Sarah hums.
"Could you maybe get chinese, instead? It's been a while since I had Sizzling Shrimp."
He chuckles, thinking fondly back to their early mission, their first stakeout.
"Okay, I'll swing by Bamboo Dragon on my way." He walks around into the living room, seeing Ellie lounging on the sofa, still in her scrubs, eyes lazily on the TV. "I'm just leaving now."
"I'll see you soon."
He's at the door before he remembers what he's supposed to do.
"Okay. Love you, bye."
He hangs up before she can get a chance to reply, taking a deep breath as he slips his phone back into his pocket.
"You heading to Sarah's?" Ellie asks, and he turns around, seeing her looking exhausted on the couch. She'd had a double shift that finished this afternoon, and clearly she hasn't been able to move from her spot since she got home. He sends her a sympathetic smile as he shifts his bag on his shoulder again.
"Yeah. I'm gonna head straight to the Buy More from hers tomorrow, so I'll see you tomorrow night."
Oh, how he wishes that weren't a lie. Ellie is fooled, though, smiling softly and sleepily.
"Okay. Tell Sarah I say hi."
"I always do," he says with a chuckle, and Ellie just smirks at him.
As he heads to the car, he wonders when I love you got so easy to say.
It's the next time, and the first time she says it first, that things begin to feel more like a habit and less like a cover. This time, his sister isn't even there to hear it.
He's in the middle of a Buy More shift a couple days after that overnight mission, helping Devon pick out a new blender, when he sees Sarah idling over his way. Her hands are in her hoodie pockets, a light bright smile on her face, and he sends a grin her way before Devon keeps talking.
"So, the smaller one keeps the most fiber in the shakes, but the bigger one is on sale?" Awesome asks, and Chuck darts his eyes back over to the doctor, still checking the blender specs intently. Appliances aren't really Chuck's expertise, more Casey's or even Morgan's, but Devon had come to him asking about a blender and Chuck had taken the opportunity to get a break from a rather boring Nerd Herd day, as well as hang a little with his future brother-in-law. Most electronics are all the same, anyway.
"Uh, yeah, buddy, it's up to you. It just depends on what you want." he says, and Devon frowns, seriously thinking.
"I have the blue one, it's really good," Sarah adds, and Chuck can't help but yelp and jump at the sudden sound of her voice right by his ear. God, she's fast and sneaky when she wants to be. Which is often. He spins around, only to find her grinning innocently, mischievously. "Sorry."
She sounds nothing of the sort, and he narrows his eyes at her teasingly.
"Well, that was just unfair," he protests, but she just shrugs cutely and turns back to Devon, who smirks with mild amusement before once more turning his attention to the two blenders in his hands.
"You really think the blue one is better?" He pulls an anxious face. "It's kinda expensive... but then I guess I don't want my shakes lacking fiber."
Sarah blinks a little, probably at Awesome's panic over a blender, but lifts a shoulder.
"It's up to you, I guess." She loops her arm through Chuck's, adopting the cute cover voice she sometimes uses. Not always, though, not so much anymore. "Can I steal my boyfriend for a second while you decide?"
Devon nods with a smile, but then turns back to the blenders, a pensive, deciding expression on his face, and Chuck sees Sarah smirk as she drags him away a little to the edge of the appliances section.
"What's up, we got a mission?" They didn't have plans and she rarely just comes over to be with him.
She frowns a little.
"No. But they're fixing something in Castle so I shut the store for ten minutes. I was bored."
"Ahhh, so I'm the boredom cure," he jokes, and she chuckles a little.
"Maybe. I thought I'd see what you were up to, but I also want some gummy worms, and..." She trails off, then reaches out, tugging on his tie, and while his pulse picks up he sees the mischief in her eyes that he never sees enough of. He loves when she's just free and dorky, messing with him a little. "You get a discount."
His jaw drops in mock-horror at her words, realizing what she's suggesting.
"Sarah, are you just using me for my employee discount on a 1.50 bag of gummy worms?"
She chuckles, tongue between her teeth, and god, he loves her.
"Yes, absolutely." she says with another giggle, and he slips his arms around her waist, shaking his head.
"I'm appalled." he deadpans. "What would the CIA do if they knew you were treating me so terribly?"
Snorting a laugh, she shakes her head.
"Write me up, Bartowski."
He grins at her unashamed act, her silliness, but before he can reply Devon waves an arm in his side vision.
"I'm choosing the blue one!" he declares happily, and Chuck smirks down at Sarah.
"Okay, if that was thanks to you recommending it, you also got me extra commission on that sale, so you're completely forgiven for just using me for my crappy employee discount." She beams like that was her intention all along, and he shakes his head, though he can't quite suppress the smile tugging at his lips.
"You're welcome."
Smirking, he rolls his eyes, hams up the hardship of what he has to do.
"I'll ring Awesome up and then you. Go, get your worms."
"See, that's why I love you," she says through another giggle, before rising on her toes to kiss him, not deep but slow, drawn out a little. Then she pulls back and scurries away to the snacks section.
Awesome thumps him on the back a second later.
"Let's get me my blender." he booms, and Chuck laughs as they head over to the registers, even while his mind wanders. Wonders.
He's sure Sarah just said it because Devon was nearby. He's sure.
But at the same time, he could swear Sarah wasn't looking at anything besides him, and that Awesome was a good few feet away still.
Just like that, it's like it's becoming a habit.
The next time is the one he should've seen coming. The next time, there's nobody else around at all.
One day, he's sure he won't be so exhausted after a mission. He's been doing this for months now, almost years, but the adrenaline crash, the late nights, the frequent running- really, there's so much running sometimes and he's in nowhere near good enough shape for all that-, it still hits him hard at the end of the day. Tonight is no different.
His eyes feel heavy, his body drained, as he and Sarah trudge through the Buy More parking lot in the dead of night. They'd had a long, tiring mission, running around after a bad guy all night. He's sure Beckman gave them the assignment just to get him to do something so he could stop asking about her search for his Dad. For Orion. It certainly kept them busy; it's so late now it's almost early morning, and after the night they've had Chuck feels like any moment he might close his eyes on a blink and forget to open them again. Just fall asleep right there, standing up. He looks at Sarah by his side, unsurprised to see not even a hair on her head out of place.
"God, how do you look so perfect right now?" he blurts out, before he can stop it, and she turns to him with a raised eyebrow, a slight flush to her cheeks, too, which he notices but is too sleepy to read much meaning into. Ignoring that, he huffs out a breath in pouty frustration. "I am so tired, and you're like. Almost perky."
She chuckles softly, looking at him sideways as they walk.
"I'm tired too, I promise. I'm just more used to this than you are, I've been doing it so long." She hums, tilts her head. "My feet do hurt, though."
He looks down at her feet, seeing the crazy high stilettos at the end of her over the knee boots, really her staple footwear unless they know for sure they'll be climbing or running somewhere, and even then, often she still sprints in the things. After today, his own feet, in his usual chucks, feel a little like numb stumps attached to his ankles.
"Yeah, uh, I've been meaning to ask, how the hell do you do anything in those, let alone crazy spy running chasing stuff?" he asks, and she laughs at his sleepy wording.
"Habit." Mulling that over for a bit, he stays quiet before she looks at him, sobering a bit. "You did good today, Chuck."
"Eh." He shrugs off her words. "You always say that, I think I do just enough to not get dead."
"I'm serious. I always say it because it's true: you did good." He opens his mouth to reply, but she sends him a look to stop him, keeps going, instead. "You're untrained, you never asked for this, but you still kept up with me and Casey, and we've done this all our lives. You did good." she repeats, and, as he so often does when she says these kinds of things, he feels something soft and warm stir within his chest, at just how much she believes in him.
They slow by their cars, parked together, thankfully. If she'd been farther away he would've kept walking with her- not out of chivalry, he just really likes talking to her and he wouldn't wanna be the one to cut them short.
"I..." he begins, about to refute her again, but she raises an eyebrow.
"Chuck." she interrupts, a warning in her tone to not push this because she's not gonna back down, and he blinks once more.
"Okay."
Like a switch has been flipped, she suddenly beams, radiant before him. And just like that, it's worth it all. All the tiredness, aching exhaustion, the dumb running and the stupid missions to distract him from the disaster with his Dad. All of it is somehow worth it just for her smile, right now, before him.
"Good!" she says happily, and he laughs her off as he tugs his keys from his pocket, unlocks his car. "You do look tired, though; you sure you're good to drive?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," he says, leaning back against the driver's side door, not opening it yet. "I've done this journey so much I could do it in my sleep, but I won't, I promise."
Sarah smirks, pulls out her own keys and unlocks her Porsche. Just before she makes to open the door, though, a hazy thought comes to his sleepy brain, and he clears his throat.
"Oh, hey, I almost forgot, Ellie wants to figure out some more wedding stuff tomorrow, something about the venue and how we walk in; we have a cover date at my place for it. I've been assured there will be dinner, so we won't be suffering for nothing."
His handler giggles at his joke, even though he knows neither of them mind Ellie's planning too much. Chuck's thrilled for his sister, getting her happy ending after all this time, with the most Awesome man. And he can't help but love that Sarah will be right up there with him, a bridesmaid, his partner in the wedding party, too.
Before him, she nods, tugs on her car door.
"Should I bring some dessert?"
He beams at her suggestion, the idea of something sugary and delicious particularly speaking to the tired, hungry part of his brain right now.
"You're just the greatest."
She smiles, shrugs a shoulder adorably.
"You know it." She slips into her seat behind the wheel, looks over at him, and he pulls his own door open as she continues. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah," he says as he gets into the car. "I love you!" he calls out, before tugging the door shut soundly.
And then he realizes exactly what he's just done. And he looks out the drivers side window to find Sarah, in her car, door closed, just watching him, expression a picture of stunned, beautiful questioning.
But instead of apologizing, making an excuse or shrugging it all off, instead of that he just smiles at her, soft and sleepy.
Maybe he messed up the cover and reality, maybe he shouldn't have said it. Maybe he's just too used it all now. But he said it, and he meant it, albeit in a way admittedly different to how he should. He's not gonna take it back.
Sarah smiles a little in reply, just as soft and understated, and so he slips his key into the ignition, starts the car, and drives home.
While that time in the parking lot is perhaps the farthest from the cover that they ever say it, the last time he says it for a while is somehow the most honest. The most real.
Ellie and Devon's rehearsal dinner is a happy, if crowded affair. Honey Woodcomb had taken over most of the preparation, meaning that instead of a simple party Ellie would have loved, they find themselves in a hotel ballroom, far from the church where the actual ceremony will be taking place. Although the wedding party- minus Chuck and Sarah thanks to their 'finding Stephen' absence- had managed to properly rehearse at the venue earlier in the day, tonight they're all far across LA, in a bustling, expensive room, decorated excessively, filled with champagne glasses being carried on trays, held by well-dressed staff. The alcohol is flowing, and the canapés are tiny, and Chuck is sure most guests will be relieved the wedding is the day after tomorrow instead of the sometimes-customary next morning.
Despite the excess, though, Chuck looks across the room to see his sister beaming happily, the way she has been all night (apart from during Honey's oh so lengthy speech about her wonderful brilliant amazing son... and Ellie). And, as Chuck looks to the woman sitting by his sister's side, he feels some of that same happiness.
The Intersect is out of his head. He's a free man, free from the CIA, free from government restrictions, free from danger, too. And free from everything stopping him having a relationship with Sarah Walker.
Setting his empty champagne glass- only the second of the night- down on the bar, he eases his way across the small dancefloor, smiling at a few of Ellie's friends that he recognizes as he goes. When he reaches his sister, still grinning in conversation with Sarah, he slows, waiting for them to pause before he interrupts.
"Hey, sis."
Ellie looks up at him, grin widening even further.
"Chuck!" she says happily, probably a little tipsily, reaching out and squeezing his arm. "Sarah and I were just talking about you!"
He raises an eyebrow.
"Ooooh," he drags out teasingly, looking down at his handler- former handler?- with a smirk. "Is that so?"
Sarah looks up at him, grinning with her tongue between her teeth in the most adorable way.
"I was just saying how worried you were we were gonna miss tonight when we got caught in that traffic coming back with your dad," she says, and he blinks in surprise. First, he's surprised at her expert lie, but then surprised that they'd been talking about that at all.
He looks to his sister, who squeezes his arm again.
"I was telling Sarah how happy I am that he's here, that we're all here."
He smiles softly, seeing how happy his sister truly is, and he lifts a shoulder.
"Wouldn't want it any other way, El."
She grins with suspiciously shiny eyes, but at that moment Chuck sees Devon wandering over behind the table, and he looks down at Sarah.
"Well, I was kinda wanting to steal my girlfriend here for a dance," he says in a teasing tone, and he suppresses a proud smile as Sarah giggles.
"Ellie, I-"
"Go, go, steal her away, be stealed!" Ellie says, before she pauses, pouts a little. "Stolen- stole? Stealed."
He smirks at his sister's slightly tipsy musings, but reaches down for Sarah's hand, tugging her up.
"Care to dance, Miss Walker?" he asks, voice low, and he sees her eyes dart down to his lips, just briefly, before she nods.
"Of course, Mr Bartowski."
Suppressing the thrill that little look sends through him, the memories of that bland motel room in Barstow that wonderful morning, oh, the memories, he tangles his fingers with hers, squeezing briefly before they head out onto the dancefloor. The music is classy, not super slow but nice enough to sway to, and he smiles as he pulls Sarah in, hands on her hips. She easily steps closer, leaning against him as they move.
"It's been quite a day," he says after a minute, and she hums, looking up at him with warm, warm eyes. "I don't remember the last time I felt this happy, y'know that?"
She smiles so softly at him, eyes all warm.
"You deserve it," she murmurs in that low, intimate tone of hers. His eyes widen a little, eyebrows raising in quiet question, and she lifts a shoulder as they sway. "Everything that's happened these past few years... your whole life got turned on its head. Happiness is- it's the smallest piece of what you deserve, Chuck."
God, he loves her. He loves her so much.
"You deserve it too. You know that, right?"
She quirks an eyebrow.
"I do."
"I-I mean, I'm not saying you're not already happy, or- or anything like that, but... Getting a government supercomputer stuck in your head isn't a prerequisite for happiness."
She smirks, chuckling softly, shifting against him. He pulls her closer on instinct, arm easing around her waist. She's soft warmth against him, a comfort, somehow.
"I am. Happy, I mean. At least, I think so." He can't help but smile, feeling his nose crinkle as he does so, and she grins. "I mean... I was pretty happy in Barstow," she quips, and his jaw drops.
There's a legitimate sparkle in her eyes, he swears, a glint of mischief and flirtation, and he can't help but laugh loudly in disbelief at her being quite so blatant. And he'd thought her question about his two-bed cell idea was good. She just grins, and he shakes his head, leaning down to kiss her with a smile still on his lips. She grins against his mouth, a giggle bubbling between them, and he smirks as he pulls back.
In his peripheral vision he just about sees Ellie and Devon step onto the floor close to them, sees Honey and Woody a few couples down, Morgan and Anna near them, too. He spares a brief through about the cover, but only brief. They're all close enough to hear, Chuck can even hear Honey muttering about centerpieces, but he doesn't care. Everything else within him is focused on Sarah, in his arms, real and right in front of him.
And he looks down at her, sees her looking up at him, absolutely everything in the world. And, cover or no, he can't help but smile.
"Oh, I love you," he says with another laugh, and when she just grins once more, he swears she's like the sun.
Ellie and Devon suddenly brush past them, both sending them warm knowing looks, and the song switches to a slightly more upbeat tune. Chuck still only sees his partner in his arms, the whole world.
"D'you wanna get another drink so we're not six behind my sister?" he says below his breath, so said sister can't hear him. Sarah giggles, throws her head back in the most joyful, glorious way, and nods, tugging him toward the bar. "Hey, hey," he continues, squeezing her fingers.
She stops, turns back around with an eyebrow raised in question.
"What?"
Feeling suddenly bashful for some reason, he steps in closer, so his front brushes hers, so it's just the two of them.
"Promise me I'll get another one of those dances at the reception."
With a soft smile, she reaches up, runs a smoothing hand through his hair, then reaches down and fixes the knot on his tie.
"I promise."
She turns again, dragging him toward the bar once more, and he wonders idly how he's supposed to be apart from her after all this. And then he thinks that, after the wedding, he might just ask her if she wants to take a vacation with him...