At best, Mako Mankanshoku could be called a hyperactive slacker and, at worst, a greedy buffoon. She would come to school on time—only to sleep through her classes. She spent her entire life living in the slums of Honnou City, and the slightest hint of money would be enough to set her off. She was a material girl at heart, but not one without her own unique, personal charm.
Perhaps it was these individual characteristics that allowed her to notice the boy passed out on the ground near the stairs leading up to Honnouji Academy one fateful sunny morning.
As was common fair at Honnou, most of the students ignored him. After all, this was not a place for weaklings. If he couldn't climb a few hundred flights of stairs to get to where he needed to be, he was obviously not Honnouji Academy material.
Still, something propelled Mako to take pity on the unfamiliar silhouette. Perhaps it was the feeling of camaraderie that fellow slackers tended to feel for one another. Whichever the case, she approached the corpse(?) and nudged it with a stick.
"Hey, hey, wake up," she said, "you're going to be late. Dying from exhaustion is no excuse. Believe me; I've tried."
In response, the student grumbled.
Well, at least he was alive, she thought. "Seriously, I may be a slacker, but I don't abandon a potential friend in need." A siren sounded in the distance. "Aw crap, I'm gonna be late!" And just like that, she abandoned a potential friend in need.
"『…』"
"Huff, huff, I made it."
"Well, well, well, looks like we've got a tardy one here."
Sans that. She didn't make it. Surrounding her were various one-star enforcers of the disciplinary committee. Honnouji Academy was not kind to students who came late. The punishments weren't as severe as those that came on No Late Day, but it was still best to avoid them.
"W-w-w-wait, I have a perfectly good explanation for this!" Spoiler: she did not.
"You're coming with me! By the power vested to me by Lady Satsuki, I will see to it that you're thoroughly disciplined!"
The gang leader pointed at Mako and then turned his head to observe the looks of admiration on his comrades' faces that he would usually get. However, instead of admiration, their expressions bore surprise and enmity.
"Huh, what's with the funny looks?"
"『Such a compelling speech』," a voice said from behind.
Turning around, the leader witnessed a young male student standing just a few meters away from him. The leader jumped back in shock.
"Y-you! Who are you!?"
"『As a fellow purveyor of discipline and justice, I highly respect your inclination to punish evil-doers such as this one,』" he continued. "『I mean, just today, this villainous assaulted yours truly with a stick and left him to rot. Truly, such a scoundrel. Take her to the gallows.』"
"You didn't answer my question," the leader said, pointing a spear at the other. "Well, it doesn't matter. By the looks of it, you seem to be a student. You're both late, so you're both getting taken in for questioning." As he said that, the rest of his subordinates got into their battle stances. "Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Your choice."
"『Hm, hm. Well, I would most certainly like to take the easy way out of this. Seeing as you're an easygoing sort of guy, I have more important things to attend to than dealing with losers like you.』" And with that, he turned around and began walking away. "『See ya!』"
Lowering his spear, the leader gave a dumbfounded expression. "Don't just walk away from me!" He and his subordinates proceeded to charge the student.
During the confusion, Mako managed to slip away unharmed. She got all the way to the classroom and kept a low enough profile to slip in undetected. Letting out a sigh of relief, she fixed up a folder, slipped into her desk, and fell straight to sleep.
"Oh, that's right," the teacher spoke up, "we have a new student joining us today. I wonder where he is." He scratched the back of his head and looked at the doorway. "Oh well… So anywa-"
The door opened. Everyone in the class gazed as a young student sporting a distinct uniform walked in. On the exterior, there was nothing strange about him. He seemed like a perfectly normal young man.
As the teacher got a better look at his face, however, a chill suddenly ran down his spine. He didn't know how or why. There was just something oddly familiar about that smile, that aura—and not in a good way.
The student turned to the rest of the class and greeted.
"『Good evening. My name is Kumagawa Misogi. I transferred from Weekly Shounen Jump. Ladies and gentlemen of Honnouji Academy. I hope we can become great friends!』"
The moment those words were said, the silence got replaced with a bunch of snickers, then suddenly uproarious laughter. Even the teacher couldn't help but chuckle. Perhaps he got worried over nothing. As the laughter grew, the transfer student's jubilant grin widened.
Within the span of 5 seconds, all but 3 individuals within the classroom were impaled by gigantic screws. Those three were Mako (who had been fast asleep instead of laughing), the teacher (who didn't outright laugh but was now leaning against the chalkboard in shock and awe of what had just happened), and Kumagawa—the perpetrator of the incident.
In a single second, the incident had been completely undone. The students looked at themselves and each other, completely flabbergasted.
Putting his foot on the teacher's desk, Kumagawa said, "『I don't know how they do it here in Honnouji Academy, but I'll have you know that it's coarse to laugh at someone else's joke. Kindly reflect on your actions from henceforth.』"
And no one laughed.