The World Where It Didn't Happen Chapter 8: Playing Devil's Advocate, a Touhou Project + Rick and Morty Crossover fanfic

Episode 08: Playing Devil's Advocate

'Twas another day at the Smith residence, the family was busy eating breakfast. The blizzard had since cleared out, and it has been a few days since Reimu came to peace with the facts (Summer having accepted them rather well) and went on with her life. Despite knowing that her original Rick and Morty are dead, she is at peace with it, and she still likes to call the new Rick 'Grampa', a habit that was brought up by Summer. Interdimensional cable is fine and all, but she is glad she is now at peace once more, and the fact that she has two other people to talk about it, three if Rick is in the right mood for discussions.

Looking at him, he seems rather busy at the moment. She looked towards Beth and Jerry, the latter of which was busy on his tablet while the former seemed disinterested as she always did. Her aunt and uncle weren't really the greatest people out there (given their intense arguments), but at least they cared for her when her parents died. Soon enough, the teen saw Morty walk up and put his hands on the chair. "Oh hey, Morty. How's it going?" Reimu asked.

"Nothing bad, I just came to ask Rick about something." Morty said before turning towards Rick. "Hey Rick, I have to make a project for the science fair this weekend. You think you could help me out?"

"Whatever." Rick said, rolling his eyes.

Morty looked distraught, but Reimu looked towards him. "Well, if Grampa won't help you, then perhaps I will."

Before Morty could say something, Jerry immediately stood up. "Well, that's not gonna happen, squirt!" Jerry said in a stern tone. "Traditionally, science fair projects are a father-son thing!"

"That's not how it is traditionally. Anyone can do it." Reimu countered.

"Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing." Rick added, earning groans from both of them.

"Traditions aren't really idiotic if they're made in the right way." Reimu said. She got up and walked towards Morty with a smile on her face. "Look, your father… well… how do I put this in a way that isn't offensive-"

"That I'm a complete mental retard that doesn't even know how to properly shit in the toilet." Jerry suggested.

Reimu snapped her fingers and smiled. "Oh yeah, that he's a complete mental retard that doesn't even know how to- wait a minute, what am I saying!?" Reimu realized what she was saying, with eyes widened she immediately looked towards Jerry. "Well, considering you were right next to me, I guess I walked into that one. However, that was still incredibly exaggerated and quite rude of you." she said plainly.

"Yup." Rick said with a smile. "He really is a mental retard."

"Hey!" Reimu and Jerry yelled at the same time.

Soon enough, Beth joined in on the conversation. "Morty, I think it will be fun for you to work on a science project with your dad." she said. Reimu saw Beth text something on her phone, and both she and Morty looked to see the message.

'Morty/Reimu, your father/your uncle is insecure about his intelligence.' it read.

At this point, Reimu could only sigh, and Morty decided to go along with it. He put away the phone, cleared his throat, and spoke. "Yeah, dad, why don't we do it together?" he asked.

"Yes!" Jerry cheered. "You backed the right horse on this one, son! We'll get out the crayons, brew some coffee and knock this thing out in two or three days."

"Fine, you win, Jerry." Reimu remarked. "However, that doesn't mean I'll let you off the hook. I'm gonna be with you in case anything bad happens to happen."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Jerry asked.

Reimu looked at the metaphorical cards she had on deck, looking for the right one to play. She was well-versed in her knowledge of science in all fields, and it grew even more now that she had Rick to work with. Biology, astronomy, social science, you name it, it's there for her to solve. She knew that Jerry wasn't the brightest bulb in the shed, and she and the guy butt heads with one another from time to time, but she doesn't outright hate him. Before she could speak, she heard a beeping sound as Rick had finished his robot.

It was a simple little thing, small in size with a box-shaped head, two spindly arms, and a 'leg' that had tank treads for a foot. It looked up to Rick and spoke. "What is my purpose?" it asked.

"Pass the butter." Rick ordered. The robot simply went towards the butter tray, picked it up, and moved it towards Rick, who used his knife to take a piece of the butter off and smear it on his pancake. "Thank you." he said. As he was eating his pancakes, his granddaughter took notice of the picture of Snuffles from behind and sighed.

Before either she or Morty could speak, they saw Summer walk in, holding a small purse. "Dad, I need a ride to work."

"Maybe Rick can give you a ride." Jerry said, putting his hand to his heart with a smile. "I'm helping Morty with science." At this point, Reimu just rolled her eyes at the comment.

"I'm busy." Rick stated.

"Doing what?" Summer asked.

"Uh, anything else?" Rick replied, taking a bite from his pancake.

That didn't pull any wool over Summer's eyes, and she glared at Rick, who took notice of this and countered with a glare of his own. Before they can do anything else, the robot spoke again. "What is my purpose?"

"You pass butter." Rick stated.

At that realization, and when it remembered what it just did a while ago, the robot looked at its hands and sank down at the knowledge of what it was made for. "Oh my God."

"Yeah, welcome to the club, pal." Rick calmly stated.

A little while later, Rick and Summer were in the former's Space Cruiser, to which Rick was reluctantly delivering his granddaughter to her new job in the city. The latter of which, however, was looking towards the side, not really in the mood to look at her grandfather. "Since when did you have a job?" Rick asked.

"Since yestarday." Summer answered. "It's part time at this little vintage thrift store. My boss is this really smart eccentric old man that treats me nice and values me."

"Wee-ow, can't wait to meet this fascinating character." Rick sarcastically replied.

"Please don't." Summer stated.

The place that Summer was working at was a small shop built with red bricks, had yellow edges, and an overall rustic look with a hanging sign that said 'Needful Things' in front of a dirty glass window. Goldenfold looked at the building with curiosity. "Needful Things? I could've sworn there was a jamba juice cafe here." He was about to walk in when someone ran towards his direction.

"Don't go in there!" The person that came to warn him was a teenage girl with short blonde hair and (for some odd reason) amethyst purple eyes. Her fashion was completely different from the rest of the group, having a white frilly cap on top of her head and a purple dress with white frills, a white collar, and a red ribbon. Normally, she would wear some black shoes and white thigh high socks, but the former of which was traded for winter boots because of the season, and she had a scarf around her neck. "Something sinister is in there, I can feel it."

"Urgh, Maribel Hearn. Come to berate me about your crazy conspiracies?" Goldenfold sarcastically replied as he rolled his eyes at the girl. He turned to the crowd and pointed at the girl. "Oh my, the president of the Secret Sealing Club and the world in her head has come to preach about the great gods and how they make us laid. Give her a hand, folks!"

Naturally, there were mixed reactions, but given that this was Maribel, it surprised no one. Since she was young, she had an obsession with the supernatural and the paranormal, holding absolute belief in them, and she never stopped believing them, even when grown up. However, the various discussions didn't bother the girl, who presumed to turn back towards Goldenfold. "Teacher, I must advise you that it would be ill will to do so, I-" Before Maribel could continue, she saw the math teacher walk into the store. "Teacher didn't listen. So smart, yet also gullible to the dark calls of a sinister boundary."

Goldenfold proceeded to walk into the shop with curious eyes looking at various objects in the store. The only other person in there was a man putting a bust with a wig on it and a typewriter on a counter. The man looked quite young, yet also quite old. He was dressed in old-fashioned garb, namely a Victorian-era suit and a top hat. He also sported short red hair, red eyes with catlike pupils, and a black, thin, pointed moustache and a beard. "Since when did this stop being jamba juice, anyhow?" Goldenfold asked.

"Oh, that." the man said nonchalantly. "I've just recently opened for business, Mr, um, Goldenfold."

"You know my name!?" Goldenfold asked in shock. Soon, he erupted in laughter. "That's disarming."

"I also know you long for female company." the man replied.

"You know, it has been lonely since the divorce." Goldenfold admitted. "Some voids can't be filled with jamba juice."

The man heard this and reached towards one of the shelves, grabbing a pink container containing some kind of aftershave from the top one. "This aftershave makes a man quite irresistible to women. Free of charge: one never pays here." The man's voice took a sinister tone. "Not with money."

Soon enough, Goldenfold smiled. "Nothing to read into there! Thanks!"

After Goldenfold snatched the aftershave from the man's hands, he walked out, and soon enough, Rick and Summer walked in. "Sorry I'm late, Mr. Needful." Summer's joy turned to bitterness as she looked towards Rick. "This is my grandpa Rick, he was just leaving." She put her jacket off and proceeded to walk away.

As she was saying that, Rick inspected a dream catcher on one of the counters. As he inspected it, Needful walked towards the scientist. "Tell me Rick, what do you desire?" he politely asked.

"Eh, I make my own stuff." Rick said. He walked towards a skull with a candle on it and picked it up, inspecting every corner of the object. "So what are you, like, the devil?"

"What? Sorry?" Needful looked shocked at that statement.

"I dunno, store comes out of nowhere, all the shit's old and creepy, a girl tries to warn unsuspecting travels, possibly due to a loved one being cursed; are you the devil? A demon? Leprechaun?" Rick speculated.

"Grandpa Rick! You're sounding like the class kook who tried to stop us!" Summer called out.

"Wait? Class kook?" Needful asked.

"Yeah, her name's Maribel Hearn." Summer answered. "Yellow hair, purple eyes, weird nightgown. The supernatural is basically an obsession, always trying to prove the existence of said things, and she claims to be able to see the boundaries of the world. She's the founder of the so-called 'Secret Sealing Club', to which she's the only member of. I've heard she is moving out soon, good for this town, and one less nutcase to deal with."

"Hey, I'm not judging." Rick stated. "I just like to shoot straight. I'm a man of science."

At that statement, Needful took notice and reached for something in a lower cabinet. "Ahah. Then perhaps you could make use of this." He pulled out a golden microscope and walked towards the scientist. "This microscope reveals things beyond comprehension."

Needful let out a sinister laugh, and Rick did the same thing and join in. The two began to laugh louder, each trying to outdo the other. However, Summer decided that enough was enough. "Grampa, go home and drink!"

At this point, Rick snatched the microscope and left, leaving a smirking Needful and an angered Summer behind. As he walked, a disappointed Maribel. "Urgh, there's a lot of crazies out there, I'll show that damn Mr. Needful, I'll show him good." an annoyed Rick argued, leaving Maribel to get rather curious.

Meanwhile, Morty was busy piecing together a model of the solar system. "Well, despite all the crazy, wacky adventures that get thrown at me, it's nice to do something simple every once in a while." Reimu said. On the carpet, various art supplies were laid about, and she, Morty, and Jerry were all sitting down, piecing together various objects for Morty's solar system model.

"Yeah, yeah, keep that sci-fi bullshit out of the way." Jerry replied. "Reimu, Morty, look. Your drunk-ass grandfather is building cyborgs and wormholes and all that weird stuff, but this is real science! A man and his boy, making planets!"

"I doubt it." Reimu replied. "In actuality, science is the study of the world around us if you put it in simple terms."

"Whatever." Jerry replied, rolling his eyes at that comment. He then drew a smile as he looked towards Morty. "Hey, how 'bout we use a ping-pong ball for Pluto, and then Jupiter-"

"Uh, actually, I don't think Pluto's a planet." Morty said.

At that, Jerry laughed. "Of course Pluto's a planet, son, I learned that in the third grade."

Reimu shook her head. "Like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope, our grasp on the world changes as we learn more and more about what lies outside. Since 2006, Pluto has been classified as a dwarf planet. It doesn't meet the needed requirements for a planet to be a planet, so it wound up being classified as a dwarf planet instead." she explained.

"Well, I heard about that, Reimu." Jerry responded, trying to say it like he already knows it.

"You don't know squat, do you?" Reimu asked.

"Well, I disagree." Jerry answered. "Yeah, that's right. It's possible to disagree in science, kids. Pluto was a planet, some committee of fancy assholes disagree, I disagreed back. Gimme a ping-pong ball."

"Um, ok, I just have to-"

Before Morty could answer, Jerry interrupted him. "Go find Rick and go for my head about Pluto?"

"Gee-no! Geez! I just gotta go to the bathroom! Damn!" Morty said before running away.

"As a matter of fact, I might as well wait for him and tag along." Reimu said before running away.

"Oh." Jerry responded. He looked around and proceeded to smile. "This is gonna be fun."

In the garage, Rick had built a machine using a camera, a laptop, and a few other materials. He was using it to inspect the microscope that he snatched from Needful when Morty and Reimu walked in. "Hey, kids. Let me *urp* ask you* a question real quick." he said.

"Okay, shoot." Reimu answered.

"Does magic exist, and if so, can one detect and measure it?" The cousins said nothing, yet looked at one another as they tried to puzzle what Rick said. "Rhetorical question, kids. The answer is yes, you just have to be a genius." The mad scientist activated the machine, which proceeded to scan the microscope. The monitor on the laptop displayed a bar that was labeled 'I.Q.' which slowly shrank in size. "Oh look, Summer's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded."

"Retarded? As in dumb or in disabled?" Reimu asked.

"As in 'dumb', as in 'mentally retarded'." Rick answered. "He said that the microscope would reveal things beyond comprehension, but what do you know? Logically speaking, it would've made me an absolute shit in the mind."

"Okay, yeah, but I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing." Morty stated.

"Well, that's retarded." Rick said, crossing his arms.

Before anyone can say anything, the garage door was opened, and everyone looked to see Jerry with a semi-annoyed look on his face. "What are you guys talking about?" he plainly asked in a slightly agitated tone.

"We weren't talking about Pluto, Jerry." Reimu replied in an equally agitated tone. "Besides, Grampa's been busy monitoring some other stuff, which is unrelated to Pluto."

"Yeah, Rick was basically inspecting this weird microscope that he claimed that Summer's boss gave him." Morty added.

"You asked him if Pluto's a planet, didn't you?" Jerry asked.

"No!" Morty replied.

"They didn't, and it's not." Rick added.

"I mean, look at it this way." Reimu pointed out. "The requirements for a planet are simple. A, it must have a big enough amount of mass to take on a spherical shape. B, it must have its own orbit around a Sun, if it is around another planet, it wouldn't be a planet, it would be a moon of that planet. And C, it must be big enough to have its gravity clear out any neighboring bodies from its orbit."

"I don't care what anyone says." an angered yet still somewhat calm Jerry argued. "If it can be a planet, it can be a planet again. Planet. Planet, planet, planet."

As Jerry walked out, an annoyed Reimu sighed. "Man, he's seriously stuck in the past." she whispered.

"Preaching to the choir, Reimu." Morty replied.

"I heard that!" Jerry's voice said from through the walls.

"Stay scientific, Jerry." Rick sarcastically replied.

"Was that really necessary!?" Jerry's voice yelled.

A pouting Maribel was busy walking aside the alley when she noticed Goldenfold, who was surrounded by women, but he looked worried and saddened. Upon seeing Maribel, he grasped her tightly with tears in his eyes. "You were right! He did trick me with black magic! I'm impotent, I tell you! Impotent and lame! I demand a refund!"

As Goldenfold proceeded to run, a confused Maribel looked to see him enter the shop. "My word." she said. Weirdly enough, he sounded like the crazy one now. She soon saw the scientist from before, who came in with the microscope he took and some kind of syringe. "What is happening now?"

In the shop, Summer was busy dusting various items as Needful quietly sat on his chair by the counter, looking as several customers were shopping. Soon enough, Goldenfold burst in and walked up towards Needful. "This aftershave made women want me but it also made me impotent!" Goldenfold protested.

Needful didn't react in shock, but merely put his hands towards one another as he slightly pointed his head down with a sinister grin on his face. "A price for everything, Mr. Goldenfold. A price… for everything!"

As Needful let out a sinister chuckle, Goldenfold went onto his knees and cried. "Oh my god! How can I not see this coming? My lust! My greed! I deserve this-" Before he could wallow in his sorrows any further, Rick burst in and injected the serum's contents into the teacher, causing him to get confused. "What the hell?"

"This serum should counteract the negative effects." Rick answered.

Goldenfold processed what that meant and proceeded to look at his nether regions. "Holy cats!" At the realization of what just happened, he immediately shot up in glee. "Ladies, let's get out of here. I haven't learned a thing!"

"Here. You can have this back." Rick said, handing the microscope he took back to Needful.

"You didn't use it?" a puzzled Needful asked.

"Sure I did. To develop this." Rick said, holding a device he made from his lab coat. "t detects and catalogues all your Twilight Zone Ray Bradbury Friday the 13th of series voodoo crap magic. I thought you might want it so you didn't accidentally sell anybody, say," He went towards one of the items and scanned it. "beauty cream that makes ugly ladies pretty but also makes them blind?"

As he said that, the customer looking at a can of beauty cream screeched before running away. "Be quiet!" Needful sternly demanded.

However, Rick didn't adhere towards the words of the devil. "Don't you want to make sure people know what they're getting? You're not intentionally selling" Rick went towards another device and scanned it. "a typewriter that generates best-selling murder mysteries, then makes the murders happen in real life? Oooh."

"In that case, I'll take that, thank you very much." Rick, Summer, and Mr. Needful looked puzzled as someone took it at the mention of what the typewriter did. However, Rick shook his head and turned towards another device.

"Stop it, this is preposterous!" Needful shouted.

"Oh, I say, good sir! Oh, harrumph, oh, oh, bobba-doppa-doopa-bo-bo." Rick walked towards a customer trying on a new scarf being made out of the remains of a ferret. "That's beautiful, you know it's going to be wearing you in three hours?" Rick stated, causing the person to idly throw the fur coat away. All the while, looking outside, a puzzled Maribel produced a notebook and began writing on it to catalog what was happening.

"Do I need to call the police?" an aggravated Mr. Needful asked.

"Here, you can use my phone." Rick said, holding out his phone for Needful to see. "Don't worry, it won't make you deaf. I'm not a hack."

In a fit of rage, Needful smacked the phone from Rick's hand, and Rick looked towards Needful with a hateful glare and smacked his hat from his head. The two were engaged in a slap-fight, and as they proceeded to slap one another, Summer took it onto herself to stop the fight. "Stop it!" She said, forcibly pushing Rick and Needful apart. "Grandpa Rick, I like working here!"

"You work for the devil!" Rick stated.

"So what?" Summer asked.

"So what?" Rick and Needful replied in synch.

"Yes, so what if he's the devil, Rick? At least the devil has a job. At least he's active in the community. What do you do? You eat our food, and make gadgets. Buh bye." Summer guided Rick away from the store, but not before the scientist purposely broke the vase, releasing a ghost from it.

"Whoops." Rick stated as he went through the door. He took a moment to look around and spotted Maribel, who apparently saw the ghost. "Hey, what the hell are you thinking? Standing around like some background character? If you want to be in the story, you've gotta contribute to the plot, missie!"

"Gah! What are you doing?" Maribel asked, seeing Rick's hand grab her arm as the scientist dragged her away. She tried to escape Rick's grasp, but his grip was solid steel.

"Out of all the people he picked, he had to pick the weird girl." Summer thought out loud. Shaking her head, she turned towards the direction of her boss. "I'm sorry Mr. Needful, I'll clean that up. I don't know what I can do about the ghost lady that came out of it, but-"

Before Summer could continue, Needful quietly spoke up. "It's fine. Summer, you know your grandfather's right. This store curses people. That's my business." he admitted.

"Well, yeah, fast food gives people diabetes and clothing stores have sweatshops." Summer retorted. "You've been nice to me, Mr. Needful. You respect me."

"Please, call me the devil." Needful replied.

"I'd rather not, actually." Summer replied.

"Yes, perhaps not during business hours." Needful said.

"It's the dead of night, and he's still going at it, isn't he?" an annoyed Reimu asked.

"Apparently, he is." Morty answered. In truth, he paid no heed to it, as he was busy with the solar system model.

Reimu looked towards Jerry, who was angrily pacing back and forth behind the couch, apparently talking to NASA on the phone. "I told you, I want to file a declaration that Pluto is a planet!" Jerry demanded. "Well, then my son's going to fail his science class, and when that happens, I'm suing you first!"

When Jerry hung up, Reimu saw her chance to speak. "Give it up, Jerry. At this point, you're just embarrassing yourself in front of a prominent organization." she said, facepalming as she did so.

"Nobody asked for your opinion, Reimu!" Jerry snapped. Before he could lash out, he immediately took a deep breath before calmly speaking. "Besides, none of you know what the A in NASA stands for, do you?"

"If you're talking about the whole thing, then NASA translates to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, thank you very much." Reimu replied. "I've learnt about it in history class. Besides, what's all that fuss about some lifeless rock than our moon, anyhow? Aside from the Kuiper Belt, it's in the middle of scenic nowhere."

"Yeah, I gotta agree with her there, Dad." Morty answered. "Besides, what is with you and Pluto being a planet? It's been eight years since they changed it, and Reimu's argument holds water once you think about it."

At this point, Jerry slowly began to chuckle at that. "Oh my golly gee wiz, so you think that water can fit in an argument, huh, Morty?" he asked in a suspicious way.

"Wait? What?" Morty asked.

"Hee hee hee, glad you asked, my boy." Jerry's grin turned into a scowl as he looked towards Reimu. "It's because we won't be needed her to interfere with astronomy."

"I wasn't doing anything to it, what are you mad at me for!? You cannot change science!" Reimu countered.

"Oh the hell I can, your majesty." Jerry retorted.

"Geez, Dad. Aren't you getting worked up over something stupid?" Morty asked. "I mean, can't we just make the solar system with eight planets? It's even easier!"

"No no no! It's a planet!" Jerry yelled.

"Stop it, Jerry. You're just embarrassing yourself!" Reimu replied. "Be glad you aren't in public now, you'd be reduced to a laughingstock! All because of a body of ice floating around in the Kuiper Belt."

"Laughingstock? Yeah right, I don't need you spoiling it, good day to you, buh-bye, you outtie." Jerry proceeded to guide Reimu out of the room, but suddenly, a bright light engulfed the two.

"Gah! What the hell?" Morty yelled. He watched his father and cousin get pulled upwards by a mysterious force. He put on a scarf and ran outside, looking to see that there was a giant flying saucer orbiting above the house, one that abducted Reimu and Jerry before zipping off into the sky. "Holy shit, I've gotta warn Rick!" Morty said before running into the house.

"Great. Just great." Reimu sulked. "At one minute, you and I were arguing over some stupid rock in space, and the next moment, we're abducted by aliens." She looked around, observing the surroundings that she and Jerry were in and looked back at the man and sighed. "Why did it have to be about something petty? Hopefully, Grampa Rick will rescue us."

"Yeah, and he'll lecture us about how Pluto is not a planet." Jerry remarked. "Fuck those requirements."

"Well, welcome to the real world, Jerry." an annoyed Reimu remarked. She went into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone and was about to call Rick, but noticed that not only would reception not work given that she was likely gonna get hauled light years from Earth, and that she didn't know Rick's phone number. Idly sighing, she went to check to see if any of her games worked before she noticed the door opening.

The two looked to see that the outside area was a building with blue, green, yellow, and teal colors, made with curved archways that somehow had lighting on them, what lighting she did not know of. What she did see, however, was someone moving towards them. Guessing she didn't have a choice in the manner, she and Jerry proceeded to walk down the ramp, and Reimu looked to see that it was not one person, but one person being carried on a jow by four people.

Of course, they were not even human, given their short stature. They were humanoid creatures covered in orange skin with a light orange front side, having three-digit hands, two-digit feet, fin-shaped ears, four antennae, and froglike eyes with cross-shaped pupils. The one on the jow was more obese than the ones carrying it, and had an outfit that consisted of a crown and a cape. These creatures weren't that keen on attire, weren't they? "I'm King Flippynips, ruler of Pluto!" he declared as his subjects set the jow onto the floor, allowing him to walk towards them. "We discovered you quite by accident during routine surveillance of your world. You really gave it to those guys at NASA!"

"I didn't want any part of this…" Reimu mentioned.

"Well, that's just too bad." Jerry remarked. He then looked towards the alien with a smug grin. "Besides, science is sometimes a bit of a convention-err, about conviction." Reimu facepalmed at that.

Flippynips chuckled. "I'd like to introduce you to a few people that very much agree with you." He led the two towards the balcony, which (to the two humans' shock) were thousands of the little aliens cheering in the plaza. "Plutonians! Jerry Smith is a scientist from Earth where he's creating a model of our solar system!" Flippynips announced. He then turned towards Jerry and stepped to the side to let him speak in the microphone. "Jerry, tell the people of Pluto about your decision!"

Shortly afterwards, Jerry knelt down and spoke into the microphone. "Pluto… is a planet."

Jerry's comment brought cheers to the people of Pluto, and two of Flippynips's subjects lifted him up as the rule pumped his fist. "Pluto's a fucking planet, bitch!"

Among the cheers of the Plutionians, Reimu stood. In classic anime fashion, the upper half of her face turned purple and obscured her eyes as a comically large tear drew itself onto the side of her head. 'Joy, a whole civilization of morons in the Kuiper Belt. I wonder why NASA hasn't detected them yet, or if it's being hidden. I've given up on this whole debate, but seeing our current predicament, it's gonna really get into his head.' Sighing, Reimu temporarily snapped out of her thoughts and looked out at the cheering crowd below. "Planet or not, let the madness commence."

Back at Needful Things, Mister Needful was honestly surprised about the uptick in business, as several people were busy shopping in his store, unknowing of what drawbacks they'll suffer as a price for the benefit. However, he kept a calm expression on his face as he handed a basketball over to Gene Vagina before speaking. "If it's athletic prowess you desire, principal Vagina, I might-"

Before he could continue, Gene snatched it out of his hands. "I'll take it!"

Needful's confusion began to show. "But I haven't even-"

Before he could continue again, Gene once more interrupted. "Thank you very very much, great store, great place, bye." he said, still wearing a grin as he walked out the store, leaving a puzzled Summer and a confused Needful behind.

"Huh. Okay. I must say, Summer, I thought your grandfather's outburst would have disrupted business, but this is the best weekend I've had since Salem!" Needful said with surprising happiness and a smile on his face.

"Nice." Summer said with a smile. "Wholesome delay for lunch?"

Needful's smile disappeared at that. "Is that the vegan place?" he asked.

"Yeah, I love their soup." Summer answered.

"I'm kinda souped out." Needful responded. Soon enough, another customer entered, being a middle-aged, slightly chubby woman with short red hair, brown eyes, and an outfit consisting of a brown buttoned-up blouse, a dark blue skirt, a pearl necklace, a pair of earrings, and some white high heels. "Mrs. Tate, is it? What do you desire?" He noticed that the woman was picking out random items from his store. "Whoa, whoa, slow down, honey!"

"Oh, is there a limit?" Tate asked. "Everything's free, right?"

Summer let out a simple, yet slightly sinister smile. "Let's just say… you don't pay with money."

At that comment, both Summer and Needful shared a laugh. "That was perfect." Needful complimented.

"You pay with the curses, right?" Tate asked plainly, leaving Needful flabstaggered.

"Um… I- well…" Before he could speak further, he saw Tate leaving with the three items she had. "But Mrs. Tate! Why do you want cursed items?"

"Well, I'm going to get the curses removed, at Curse Purge Plus. You know, the guy on TV?"

As Tate took her leave, Needful looked towards the television, which displayed Rick in a jumpsuit. "What?" He turned the volume on, curious and somewhat angry at what was going on.

"Have you acquired creepy, specific old stuff from an antique or thrift store that gives you powers but fucks with you in unforeseeable ways?" Rick's voice said from the TV. "Bring it to Curse Purge Plus! I use *urp* science to uncurse the items for cash, and you get to keep the powers!" He went towards a man with a buzzcut and whiskers with an attire that consisted of a red jacket, a white shirt, and pants. He was holding a pair of sneakers. "This guy got mysterious sneakers to make him run faster! But guess what? He would have had to run until he died, making them worthless. I removed the curse, making them worth, like, I dunno, eight million dollars? See ya at the Olympics." The next person that Rick went towards was a young girl with her hair done up in a ponytail, having an attire that consisted of a grey jacket, a purple scarf, and some snow pants. She was holding a baby doll. "This eerily intelligent doll was threatening to murder its family. Now it does their taxes."

"Everything's deductible." the doll said.

Rick's voice continued to be broadcasted on the television. "Don't pay for cool stuff with your soul. Pay for it with money. You know, like how every other store in the world works? We're located at First and Main in old town. Come on, come on down."

"First… and… Main…" At this point, Needful realized something about the location. Looking towards the window, he saw a new store with bright coloring and a more modern design right across the street from Needful Things. He saw a bunch of people lining up with HIS cursed items, where Rick was dancing in front, facing right towards the shop across the street as he danced, wearing that jumpsuit of his and flipping them off.

"Wubba lubba dub dub!"

"Diabolical son of a mother-" Before an angry Needful could go on a rant, he noticed there was a surplus of customers that began grabbing stuff from his store, ready to bring it to Curse Purge Plus.

As the surplus of customers went into Needful Things to get their items uncursed, Rick went into the store with a smug grin on his face. He proceeded to go across the room. "Step right up, people! Plenty of time for you to bring in your items and uncurse them. Your soul isn't currency, money is." he encouraged. Rick looked at the young girl who was busy sweeping the floors. "Oh my *urp* God, Mary, you should've seen the *urp* look on the devil's face when I built this st-*urp*-store across from his craphouse."

"Yeah, I guess so." Maribel nochohantly replied. "Besides, I am not really interested. I know I'm sounding hypocritical, considering that I've longed to get involved with the supernatural, but I'm not very keen onto being roped into it by some crazy scientist that has a game to play with Lucifer, of all people."

"One of my granddaughters is working for him, missie." Rick replied. "You *urp* think that with someone like him fucking around with Summer that it would be all sunshine and rainbows, huh? Well tough shit, knowing somebody such as him, it's not gonna last long."

Maribel sighed. "I suppose your argument holds water, Rick. Though I'm not very happy that I'm being roped into this pointless game, nor am I happy that you're doing this just because of her."

"Well, you were the only other option, considering Summer's brother, Morty, and their cousin, who happens to be my other granddaughter, are fucking around with Jerry's Pluto planet nonsense, trying *urp* to convince him to drop that shit, I'm curious as to how long this will *urp* last."

Maribel Hearn sighed in response. This man is just plain ridiculous, and not in the way she would like.

Meanwhile, on Pluto, Jerry and Reimu were still on the planet, with the former sitting on a chair in a news studio with two other Plutonians, both of which surprisingly resembled the stereotypical reporter on Earth. "We're back on Good Morning Pluto." the female Plutonian spoke. "And a very good morning it is for our guest, Earth scientist Jerry Smith, who is making headlines with his bold announcement that is, what Jerry?"

"Pluto is a planet." Jerry declared.

At that, everyone laughed, and the male Plutonian spoke. "Well, how about that?"

At this point, Reimu was resisting the urge to bang her head on a wall. "At this point, I've lost all hope. I still doubt that Pluto is a planet, given that it doesn't exactly meet the requirements, but what I do not doubt is that the people living on this rock are idiotic." She sighed. "What's gonna happen to me?"

"Don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen." a voice said. Reimu turned to see a male Plutionian dressed up in a lab coat walk in. "Greetings, miss, I'm Scroopy Noopers. I'm a scientist. Can I show you something?"

At this point, the teen can only sigh. "So long as it is not that idiocy," She pointed her thumb back towards Jerry, who was still talking about how Pluto is a planet to the Plutonians, with an aggravated expression on her face. "I'm more than happy to oblige."

"In this case, follow me." Scroopy Noopers said, gesturing the girl to follow him off the set. "Like you, I am pretty annoyed at my kins' ignorance about the whole ordeal."

"No shit, Sherlock." Reimu replied. "Pluto's a planet this, Pluto's a planet that, that's all they seem to talk about."

"Yeah, I get the feeling." Scroopy Noopers replied. "Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask you who you are. Tell me, what is your name?"

"Reimu Sanchez." Reimu replied.

"Sanchez? I know of a scientist who shares the same name and is of the same species." Scroopy Noopers replied.

"Wait, you know of Grampa?" Reimu asked.

"He's your grandfather?" Scroopy Noopers replied. "Listen closely, Reimu. Rick Sanchez has been known to have committed several crimes during his travels, a wanted figure throughout the galaxy and beyond. However, that does not mean I will put the pressure on you. If your claim is true, then I know I've picked the right person. Rick is known to be the smartest man in the universe, and if my hunch is right, then those who are descended from him will be pretty intelligent in their own right."

"Thanks." Reimu replied with a smile on her face. "I've aced my classes several times over, and at that point, school was completely unnecessary. However, given my cousin was being pushed around by Grampa Rick and being dragged into his adventures, I decided to step in and take his place so he could go to school again."

"That's really kind of you, looking out for your family. Your parents must be so proud of you." Scroopy Noopers complimented with a smile on his face.

"Mom and Dad are dead. However, I'm sure they would be proud of me for that, even if Grampa is a bit of a jerk to everyone around him." Reimu said. Her smile turned into a frown. "As for Jerry, he's my uncle. Contrary to what he and this Good Morning Pluto thing are saying, the guy's an idiot, and apparently zealous with certain things, like Pluto being a planet, for example."

"Speaking of that. It is why I am bringing you here." Scroopy Noopers said. During the talk, he led her to a door that he had opened. "Get in, and due to your height, you should probably watch your head."

Reimu nodded, and was careful to duck. She had to sit down during the whole ordeal, however, during the ride down, she had a question to ask. "Excuse me for a bit, but I've got some thoughts about your people and your planet. You see, Pluto is a little far from the Sun to be in the habitable zone, so I doubt life could grow here. That is, unless you guys are the descendants of crashed colonists or something."

"Truth be told, we are." Scroopy Noopers replied. "However, we might need to wait for later to tell the full story. Right now, we are approaching our destination right about… now!" At that moment, the door opened, revealing a massive cavern filled with mechanical tubes that sucked some strange blue rocks from pools of glowing blue substance up towards the surface.

"Oh my God." Reimu said, looking at the machines. "What does this have to do with Pluto being a planet?"

"Truth be told, Pluto was a planet, and inside of it, at the very core beyond all the water, ice, and rock, is a substance called plutonium." Scroopy Noopers explained.

"Plutonium!?" Reimu yelled. She knelt down at eye level with Scroopy Noopers, grabbed him, and started shaking him around while looking at his eyes. "Are you crazy!? That stuff's radioactive, it could cause cancer or even kill us if we're here for too long!"

"Gah! Just stop shaking me and I'll explain." a queasy Scroopy Noopers begged.

At this point, Reimu stopped shaking him. "Sorry, my bad. From what I've learned, plutonium is radioactive, on the same level as uranium, being slightly heavier than it is."

"Right you are, but fortunately, we've cleaned this area of radiation, but back to the topic." As they walked, Scroopy Noopers continued his explanation. "As I was saying before you freaked out, the center of Pluto is made up of a substance called plutonium. Mines like these suck Plutonium up to the cities, where corporations use it to power everything, from diamond cars to golden showers. And the more we remove, the more Pluto shrinks."

Soon enough, the two felt an earthquake as chunks of rock fell. "So that's why they changed it."

"Yes, and it just shrank a little with that quake." Scroopy Noopers answered. "A few Earth years ago, your world's scientists at NASA had noticed Pluto had gotten so small they couldn't even call it a planet any more. Should have been our wake up call."

"Corporate greed? Mass denial?" Reimu asked.

"Bingo." Scroopy Noopers replied. "The rich Plutonians are not the types to wake up, and they've taken advantage of my peoples' denial. They love Jerry telling everyone that Pluto's a planet, because that means they can keep mining until Pluto goes from planet, to dwarf planet, to asteroid, to meteor, and finally, poof." At that final remark, the Plutonian took out some confetti and blew it from his hands.

"It will vanish to oblivion." Reimu said, putting the pieces together. "Ain't buying the vanishing part, but if they mine it any longer, the seismic activity caused by the mining will cause this world to collapse from the inside out, killing all life that resides there along with the mining facilities. Either way, you probably wouldn't want to be mining your planet's core out. But there is a question, how are we gonna solve it? Words alone probably won't solve the equation."

"Fair point. I should've brought a camera or something." Scroopy Noopers replied. "Shame nobody really goes down here anymore, then I would have a ton of evidence, and I could save four billion lives."

"Camera?" Reimu snapped her fingers. "That's it! Hopefully, my phone's camera will still work." She pulled out her cell phone and turned it on, focusing on the camera display. "Jackpot!" Reimu beamed with glee. "Come on, my pocket-size friend, we've got your world and your people to save! We'll just have to put in a little elbow grease into this!"

Due to the excess success at Curse Purge Plus, Needful Things was next to empty, save for Summer, who was still cleaning the shop, and Mister Needful, who was in the back out of view. Soon enough, Summer spots a dismembered monkey's paw on the carpet and let out a fake laugh. "Hm, funny. Mr Needful, out of everything in the store you'll never guess what we couldn't get rid of!" She walked towards the back room to see something she never wanted to see. "Ah! Oh my God!"

What she saw was, hanging by a rope, none other than Mister Lucius Needful, who has apparently hung himself, seemingly given up on his business.

Summer rushed towards her boss in an attempt to free him from the knot, but failed. Looking towards the table, she attempted to move it, but failed. "I wish this desk was lighter!" she said. Soon enough, the monkey's paw glowed as one of its fingers went down, thus making the desk light enough for her to move in place. At first, Summer was surprised, but she resumed focus on saving Needful and attempted to pull him from the rope, but failed. "I wish the knot was looser." she wished, causing the second finger on the monkey's paw to go down. True to the wish, the knot did become loose enough to free Needful, who was still passed out from hanging himself. She attempted to bring him back to the waking world, but she didn't know how to perform CPR. "I wish I knew how to perform CPR." Summer wished, causing the final finger of the monkey's paw to close.

At that final wish, Summer immediately gained knowledge on how to do CPR, and proceeded to do it. Upon that act, Needful let out a series of coughs before waking up. "Ugh, Jesus. What a waste of a monkey paw." Needful lamented.

"Mr. Needful! How could you even think of doing something so horrible?" Summer asked.

"I'm the devil. What should I do when I fail, give myself an ice-cream?" Needful replied.

"You haven't failed." Summer countered.

"People like Rick are making me obsolete." Needful explained. "I mean seriously, I may be the devil but your grandpa is the devil! I just want to go back to hell where everybody thinks I'm smart and funny."

Seeing her friend in danger, Summer comforted him. "No! It's not fair. Everyone in this town got something they wanted from you, even Rick! I was your only friend, and I get nothing?"

"Okay, I'll give you one thing. Name it." Needful stated.

"I want to help you." Summer answered.

"Clever twist." Needful replied with a grin.

"I learned from the best, you old fart. Now let's go get you hydrated." Summer stated, helping Needful up. Before they could get out of the store, they saw a worried Morty in his winter gear, looking around for someone. "Morty? What are you doing here?"

"S-Summer?" Morty asked. "And who's that guy with you? No matter, I need your help looking for Rick! Dad and Reimu are abducted by aliens and I need his help?"

Both Summer and Needful looked at each other in confusion. "I think he's across the street from this store." Summer answered.

Morty looked behind him, noticing Curse Purge Plus and the scientific equipment that made it all possible. 'There's science stuff there. No doubt it is Rick's work.' Morty thought. He immediately went out the door and went for Rick, Summer following him to give her grandfather a piece of her mind. Soon enough, the two siblings went across the street, but not before Summer put on her winter gear as they crossed into Curse Purge Plus, where they saw a blonde-haired girl tending to a man.

"Alright, I've got your problem." she said. As the two got closer, Summer recognized it as Maribel. "Apparently, these boxing gloves would make you the 1936 heavyweight champion in, well, boxing, but the drawback is that you'll be sent in a temporal loop of the same match for all eternity. Gee, I'll see what I can do with my boss's technology."

"Your boss? Don't you mean Rick?" Summer asked.

At this point, Maribel let out a small 'eep' and looked towards the duo. "Oh, hey there! I'm sorry, but I can do one customer at a time."

"We're not here for whatever this is. I need to talk to Rick." Morty answered.

"As do I." Summer added.

At this point, the blonde understood what they were trying to convey. "Alright, he should be just at the other side in his office, but I must assure you, it's employees only, and I am not sure if he is accepting appointments or not."

"He's our grandfather, miss. Couldn't- couldn't we count as exceptions to this rule?" Morty pointed out. "Besides, I have some very important stuff to talk to him about."

"Yeah, me too." Summer added.

At this point, the young girl sighed. "Alright, make yourselves at home. I might as well make myself at home for the time being, considering he basically forced me into this job, though on the bright side, this seems to be the last of it, hopefully."

Both Morty and Summer looked at one another. "Same old Rick." the both said.

Despite having different reasons of wanting to see Rick, the two had the same man to talk to, so they nodded to one another and proceeded to go across the store and into the area that read 'Employees Only', no doubt where Rick's office is.

Back at Pluto, Jerry was in a fitting tuxedo, riding in a limousine along with a few Plutonians. "It's been a day and I still can't believe it! Pluto's a fucking planet! I wonder why NASA decided to call it quits." the man thought.

"Planet or not, you still have that drilled into your head." Reimu said, turning her head towards the window. She was in a slim red dress and some matching high heels as well as an alien flower in her hair, though she still retained her bow and hair tubes. Sure, she had some jewlery, but she wasn't the one for makeup and refused it. "Regardless, I've got a bad feeling that their world is in serious danger given what I've seen."

"Hah! You called it a planet! Checkmate!" Jerry laughed.

"I didn't call Pluto a planet." Reimu growled. "Look, it's not what it seems, and at this point, I don't care if Pluto is a planet. I've not cared the slightest about this insanity."

"Oh yeah, very nice, Reimu." Jerry said, causing the teen to snarl at him and turn the other way. When he was sure she wasn't listening, he leaned towards the Plutonians with a cocky grin on his face. "I made her admit Pluto's a planet." Jerry whispered.

Reimu could hear the sound of hushed snickering from Jerry and the Plutonians. "I didn't admit a thing, Jerry. He who serves as a figurehead does not know their true plans."

"Oh come on, that's just ridiculous. At this point, you're sounding like that anti-planet nutjob Scroopy Noopers." Jerry said.

"I'm honestly surprised you know of him, but this is a manner I would rather talk about in private." Reimu replied.

Before she could go deeper into thought, the alien limousine's door opened, revealing hordes of Plutonians, holding cameras as they snapped pictures of Jerry. Reimu took notice of the guy as he confidently got up and walked towards the crowd. "What's up, Pluto?" he asked, causing another roar of applause and cheer to the man, and for Reimu to sigh as she begrudgingly walked out.

Within the back of Curse Purge Plus, Rick's office sat, to which the mad scientist was cackling away at his business. "Alr-*urp*-ready, we're at the final set. Boy, I could use this cash to get even more junk to make more gadgets on Earth!" He soon took notice of Morty and Summer, who have just walked in. "Oh, look, it's Rosemary's baby, and I see you brought Morty with you! How's business?" Rick politely stated.

"Alright, you've taken in the last of our inventory. We're going to file chapter 11 and do some restructuring." Summer stated.

"Sounds like code for 'You win, Rick!'" Rick replied.

"Wh-what is all this for, anyhow?" Morty asked.

"Oh, you *urp* are gonna love this, Morty." Rick answered. "You see, Summer's been working for the devil himself. Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, Mister Needful, you give the turd a name, and he has it, as well as any voodoo crap he has with him. I'm a man of science, and tinkering with magic may seem hypocritical, but seeing is *urp* believing."

"So what? I need you for something, Rick!" Morty said.

"And besides, my friend is strong!" Summer added. "Sure, he may have attempted to kill himself, but he's strong. We're not going to give up, we'll adapt, trust me."

"Uh huh, yeah, I don't care." Rick stated.

"Oh, I know. Everyone knows you don't care." Summer replied.

"So?" Rick asked.

"So... have fun not caring?" Summer answered in a confused manner.

"I always do." Rick answered back, watching Summer leave.

"But seriously, Rick! Dad and Reimu are in danger! They- they've been abducted by aliens!" Morty explained.

"So what? I get abducted by them all the time. Do the Zigerion scammers ring a bell?" Rick answered.

"Zigerions?" Morty asked.

Rick looked at Morty and shook his head. "Sorry, forgot that we came from another world."

"You see!? This is what Summer and I were talking about!" Morty shouted.

Before any of them could argue, they heard a knock on the door. "Who is it? Don't come in unless you have something important." Rick answered.

The door opened, revealing Maribel as she walked in. "That's the last of it, Rick. I could feel it." Maribel answered.

"The last of what?" Morty asked.

Maribel walked in and looked at Morty with a smile. "And what an adorable little boy you are. Boop!" She playfully poked Morty's nose, causing the boy to yelp as she walked towards his grandfather. "As I was saying, the last of the cursed items are in, from what I could see. What do you want us to do, anyhow?"

Rick paused for a moment, then he looked at Maribel, and then at Morty, and sighed. "Alright, I'll go." Rick said. He went to the PA System and spoke. "Alright, since we already have the last of the items, scram. Everything in the room will disintegrate in fifteen seconds, and counting." Rick went towards a button and pushed it.

FIFTEEN SECONDS UNTIL SELF-DESTRUCT.

"What!?" Morty and Maribel yelled.

"Don't *urp* worry. We'll be fine on my watch." Rick answered. "Besides, I've got my portal gun with me." The scientist pulled out his portal gun and shot forth a glowing green portal in the wall. "Alright, get *urp* in, both of you."

"Why me?" Maribel asked.

"Don't ask questions. Before Reimu came, I was the one who went on Rick's adventures." Morty answered before grabbing the girl's hand and walking through the portal, and Rick followed shortly afterwards. As soon as they went through, the entire store began to glow green. Everything in it was vaporized, along with everyone who didn't buy into Rick's announcement. Soon enough, there was a vacant lot where the store once stood, and everyone outside looked puzzled as to what just happened.

A little while later, Reimu and Jerry were in a fancy area, where rich Plutonians were living and partying in absolute luxury. Jerry joined in on the fun, sipping on some of their drinks that were served by a butler when a Plutonian couple approached him. "Mr. Smith, please! Tell my friend here what you just told me, go on." the female Plutonian said.

"My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles, and the pickles is Pluto." Jerry stated in a happy manner.

At that statement, the Plutonian man did a spit take. "My god! The man's a genius!"

"Yeah, a genius indeed." Reimu said to herself as she walked towards Jerry with an annoyed look on her face. "A few times, it's good, but I don't understand how an entire civilization could be so obsessive over a single thing and not worry about any possible consequences."

"And what consequences are those?" Jerry asked. "I mean, the earthquakes are normal, sinkholes, they aren't leading to surface shrinkage."

"I said I'd prefer it to be in private. I don't want to cause a scene." Reimu said. "Besides, are you happy here? What about your son, your wife, your family? Surely, they would love to see the 'Oh So Mister Popular' brag about something, wouldn't they?"

'At this point, he's sounding like those conspiracy nuts I keep running into. Scroopy Noopers was busy publishing the papers, however she couldn't help but feel that he was a little too enthusiastic, but she did see everything firsthand. 'I'm sorry, Jerry. Really, I am. I know this means so much for you to be loved, but they're mining their planet from the inside out.' Suddenly, another earthquake occoured, and Reimu sighed. "Figures. If you have time away from the crowd, read this. I've got to take some time outside from all of this nonsense." The teenager proceeded to get up and walk outside, going far enough on the balcony for her spoken thoughts to not be heard by any Plutonian ears and sat down on a bench. Soon enough, she saw a familiar green portal open up, and out came Rick, Morty, and a blonde haired girl. "Grampa! What took you so long!? I need your help!" Reimu said.

"Duh, I can hear you. We-*urp*-'ve come to save you, genius." Rick snarked.

"Geez, you really shouldn't be so harsh on your own family, Rick." Morty pointed out.

"Well, I'm harsh on just about everybody, thank you very much." Rick countered. He looked around and sighed. "Pluto, had to be Pluto."

"P-Pluto? We're here!?" Morty asked. "Aw geez, aren't we going to suffocate and die or something?"

"It doesn't seem like it." Maribel pointed out. "The boundaries of this world's atmosphere are not natural by any means. It's as if they were manipulated somehow."

"Oh, it's you." Reimu said, recognizing the girl. "Yes, it's been manipulated, former ninth planet had an artificial atmosphere as a result of terraforming. At first, I thought that they believed themselves to be a native race as a part of the corporations' ploy so they could mine the core away, but it turns out that it is a widely-known fact here."

"Wait, what?" Morty asked.

"Oh, you haven't been here, have you?" Reimu said. She stood up, revealing the dress she was wearing, which shocked the three travelers. "You might be wondering why I am wearing this dress and why I'm not being tortured for whatever weird reason. Long story short, Jerry and I were abducted because the people there thought he was a great scientist standing up against NASA, and the corporations are using his belief that Pluto is still a planet to further indoctrinate the populace get away with their mining of its core. Most of these guys are just as stuck in the past with that thing as he is, but I met one person who is just as annoyed at it as I am, and he and I are planning on taking them downtown and saving Pluto."

"Long day you've had, huh?" Rick said. "However, there is a *urp* hole in this. They've been at it for quite a while, and the Plutonians (or whatever their original is) are too stuck in their ways, even more so than I am. Convincing a few Plutonians, let alone an entire population of them would be a nightmare! However, that does not mean I won't help you in your endeavor."

Maribel sighed. "At this point, I might as well chime in, I can feel the place shrinking as we speak."

At this point, Reimu had a question to ask. "Hey Grampa, where's Summer?"

"Sucking devil dick." Rick said.

"Grampa!" Reimu scolded.

"No, she's literally working for the devil. The *urp* guy curses people for fun, all the while, under a guise of an old-timey salesman. Did you really not know why I was busy?"

"Rick, lay off her! She's been here all the time." Morty pointed out.

"Well, if you're trying to convince these guys, then forget about it. They'll never believe in anything that doesn't support their argument, and it doesn't help that they aren't waking up from all of this. Any fool could see it, so why can't they!?" Rick said to Reimu.

"Because of a friend." Reimu replied. "I've given him enough evidence to pull out his claims, and all I got to do is convince Jerry to let them see the light, and we're golden."

"Could you let me do it?" Morty asked.

"Wait, why? You don't know a thing about what's happening here." Reimu pointed out.

"Just relay it to me, Reimu. Dad might not listen to you, but I think he might listen to me." Morty explained.

"Worth a shot, I guess." Reimu replied.

"Don't you remember, he's been stuck up on that since when." Rick stated. "Come on, you three. We've got a home to get, these p-*urp*-people hardly care about the fate of the planet, even less than we do our own."

"But what about Dad?" Morty asked.

Rick sighed. "Fine, let's pick up your father."

Back on Earth, Needful Things has taken a huge turn for modernization thanks to the help of Summer, to which she and Mister Needful rebranded it as , a new site in which you can buy the items at any place in the world, no matter where or who you are. In the newer, more modernized storefront, Needful, who was now in a simple black turtleneck and black jeans, announced his update to a crowd. "It's been a long six hours, but we've overhauled Needful Things into the globally compliant, web 4.0 e-nomenon, ! Spelled with 3s instead of Es." Needful announced, electing cheers from the crowd that was inside the building. Looking at the phone, Needful got another enthusiastic comment. "Okay, that's it! We've just got bought by Google!"

As the enthusiastic cheers from the crowd, Summer went towards Needful and gave him a hug. "Mmh! I'm so proud of you, Lucius. So… how much did we make?"

At this point, Needful couldn't help but to laugh at this. "'We?'" he asked. Suddenly, Needful gained a sinister grin and pushed a shocked Summer out of his vicinity. "This is my business! I no longer need you anymore. Security!"

At Needful's decree, a buff man in a black shirt that said 'Security' went towards Summer and grabbed her. "Ah! You're Zuckerberging me?"

As a still shocked Summer was being carried out of the store, Needful kept his sinister grin and answered the teen's question. "I was Zuckerberging people before Zuckerberg's balls dropped. I'm the devil, beeyotch! What what!" In his moment of triumph, Needful jumped on the table, playing a fiddle as the crowd cheered at his performance.

Back on Pluto, Jerry was preparing for another pro-planet rally with King Flippynips, who was sitting on a comfortable purple chair with a glass of wine by his side. "Jerry, you must be so excited! The Plutobell Prize is the highest honour a scientist can receive!" Flippynips praised.

"I'm flattered, and humbled." Jerry stated. For the human in the room, Plutonians were busy polishing up his suit, and he had medal on him as well.

"Ooh, I like that. Use that in your speech. Also, talk about Pluto being a planet, people like that." Flippynips answered.

Unbenknownst to the two, Rick, Reimu, Morty, and Maribel were watching the scene from behind a corner. "So, Dad's basically become a celebrity, huh?" Morty asked. "What have I missed?"

"A bunch of nonsense, I may say." Reimu answered. "These people keep praising the heck out of the Pluto planet things."

"I'll say. I heard what he was saying, and judging by that, they sound pretty ignorant over their world's unstable state." Maribel replied.

"So, what are you gonna do. B-*urp*-barge in and tell him to go home?" Rick asked. "It's not candy and cookies out here, despite their small, unintimidating appearances."

Before the conversation could continue, they heard someone screaming, and Reimu recognized who it was and gasped. "Your highness! We've captured Scroopy Noopers!" Two Plutonian policemen came walking into the room, with none other than Scroopy Noopers in their custody, with his hands cuffed behind his back and an angered look on his face.

"They captured him?" Reimu asked. "We have to help him, he's on a mission to save this world."

"No can do. I don't want to get involved in this shit, it's not worth the energy." Rick pointed out. Reimu wanted to protest, but Rick did have a point. She didn't know how advanced the Plutonians were, but given that they were shipwrecked survivors that managed to terraform Pluto, they would be pretty advanced.

"You animals! Animals!" Scroopy Noopers protested.

"Ooh, look whose little journey's come to an end!" Flippynips said. "Take him to Plutonimo Bay!"

As he was being dragged towards the car-like vehicle by the Plutonian police, Scroopy Noopers had one last remark towards Flippynips. "You can't kill the truth, father!"

"Wait, father?" a confused Morty whispered.

"What?" Jerry asked.

"I can see you are confused." Flippynips stated. "Plutonimo Bay is a military prison, a sort of play on words on-"

"Did he call you father? Scroopy Noopers, the anti-planet nutjob is your son?" Jerry asked.

Sheepishly laughing to himself, Flippynips spoke out his response. "The young eat the old if you let them, Jerry. Pluto is a cold, cold celestial dwarf."

"It's a what?" Jerry asked.

"Huh?" Realizing what he just said, King Flippynips began to rework his words. "Huh? Oh- planet! Hah! Hoh, Pluto is a cold cold planet! That's what I meant. Knock 'em dead out there, you." As the Plutonian king took a sip from his drink, Reimu couldn't help but facepalm at that, followed by Maribel sighing and Morty looking at the two.

Soon enough, Summer went towards her home, mentally battered by her experience as she put her winter coat away. Her tears have melted away mascara from her eyes as she went towards the kitchen. "Mom? Dad? Grampa? Morty? Reimu?" Summer called, looking around for anybody in the room. "Figures. I've been Zuckerberged by them too."

Seeing that there was nothing else to do, Summer decided to drown her sorrows in food. The phone addict was not in the mood for cooking anything, so she just went to the pantry and got some sliced bread, and then went to the fridge and took out jars of peanut butter and grape jelly. After smearing the two pastes on her bread and completing her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she took her plate and sat on the table. Before she could eat, she noticed Rick's butter robot put the whole block of butter onto her sandwich.

"Butter."

At this point, Summer sighed. "You're gonna Zuckerberg me, too, are you?" she asked.

"I am not programed for the unidentified word to which you are describing." the butter robot stated.

"Figures." the redheaded teen thought out loud before taking throwing the block of butter out and taking a bite from her sandwich.

Meanwhile, back on Pluto, Jerry was at a Plutonian rally, with Rick and his teenage companions looking out at the scene from a nearby balcony. "At this point, why won't you just rescue him or something?" Reimu asked. "Well, rescue won't exactly be suited, considering that he's enjoying it, but still-"

"You know, I got to agree with her, but even then, I want to see where this goes." Maribel replied.

"I'm not really sure about what is going on, but I still can't believe this all happened because of my science fair project." Morty said, looking down in shame.

"Cheer up, Morty." Reimu replied. "How did any of us know that it would lead to the actual world itself."

"Trust me, I've *urp* seen stuff weirder than that." Rick stated.

Jerry was in front of four elderly Plutonians, all of which were dressed in refined robes, and he looked around. "Huh, that's funny, I thought I heard voices." Jerry spoke, giving some confused murmurs from the crowd and the elderly Plutonians. "Oh, not you guys, just those of some people at home." He sighed before looking down at the papers, which is just one small card with the words 'Pluto = Planet' on it, and cleared his throat. "Pluto is..." Before he could continue, Jerry paused for a moment.

"What's he doing now?" Rick asked.

"Whatever it is, we're conveniently behind the four older aliens, weirdly enough." Morty mentioned.

"Look, if everything goes down, let's snap their necks and get your idiot father out of here." Rick said.

"Hey!" Morty loudly whispered.

"Wait a minute, I want to see where this goes." Reimu said.

This was not unheard from Jerry, but he was starting to think otherwise. He looked towards a Plutonian, on top of which was a younger Plutonian that wore a yellow shirt and had brown hair, making them greatly resemble Morty. 'Even they're starting to look like family and friends. Jesus, I must be getting crazy out here.' At the sight of the Plutonian Morty, Jerry started to tear up. 'Reimu was right, I have been taking it too far. Whatever I should say at this point, I should say it now.' Jerry knew that whatever he would say, they would respond. Whatever the interaction with the Plutonians is to be, there wouldn't be any going back. He took a deep breath, not wanting to hesitate any further, and spoke into the microphone, regretting what he was going to say. "Not a planet."

The Plutonians went from enthusiastic to enraged. They started throwing random items at the man, and at this point, Morty couldn't see his dad getting beaten up any further, and immediately lunged towards one of the elder Plutonians, snapping his neck and knocking him out cold. "Welp, fuck it." Rick thought to himself, and he too proceeded to snap the neck of a Plutonian. Seeing that they had to do it before they noticed, the two girls did the same thing.

"Ow! It's not a planet! Hey! It's not a planet! I'm an idiot, and I love my son!" Jerry yelled. Before a group of Plutonians could drag him away, Rick shot them with a few rounds of his laser pistol before shooting a portal under Jerry's feet, causing him to scream and fall down. Rick looked to see the Plutonians looking around for the source of the lasers, and decided to open a portal, gesturing for everyone to get in before they see them.

When they stepped out of the portal, they were back at the Smith Residence. "So they didn't accept it after all, huh?" Reimu asked. She looked down in shame. "They had it right in front of them, yet they chose to ignore it. Was there something I did wrong?"

"Don't worry about that, those people *urp* was not gonna last very long, anyway." Rick replied.

"Yeah, I guess so." Reimu replied, putting her head up as she looked towards Rick. "So, I guess that this is it for the day, huh?"

"Well, I might need to go home now." Maribel said before rubbing one arm with another. "Well, as much of 'home' as it is before I'll be moving out, anyway."

Before anything could be said, Reimu heard her stomach growl. "You know what? All this Pluto nonsense has made me hungry, I might as well get something to eat. Any of you wanna come get a snack or two?"

"Welp, I'm *urp* willing to go down for some wafer cookies." Rick replied.

"Speaking of something to eat, may I borrow something from you?" Morty asked.

"Eh, suit yourself." Rick said. The quartet walked towards the kitchen to see Summer, who was busy talking to the butter robot. Rick rolled his eyes and walked towards his granddaughter with an indifferent look on his face. "How's your pretend grandpa doing AKA the devil?" Rick asked.

"I'm sorry." Summer said, sniffling as she did so. "He dumped me..."

"Wait, what?" Maribel asked.

"He dumped me, okay?" Summer said, getting up from her chair.

"Oof, sorry." Rick said. The two made their way towards the couch and sat on it, with Rick turning it on to showcase some interdimensional cable.

"Did we learn a lesson here I'm not seeing?" Summer asked.

"Hm, not sure." Rick replied.

"Maybe in a much bigger way, Mr. Needful gave us both what we really wanted? Because I was always jealous of you hanging out with Morty and you didn't realize how much you valued my approval?" Summer thought. The three had a moment of silence before Rick spoke.

"No, that's dumb." Rick stated.

"Nah, not satisfying." Summer replied.

"Tell you what, though." Rick said. "As soon as I'm done tying up a few loose ends, how 'bout you and me give him a warm welcome, huh?"

At one moment, he was being beaten by things thrown by the Plutonians for saying that their planet is not a planet, and the next thing he knew, he was falling through something and into his room, falling straight onto the chair, with his legs right in between the headreast. "Gyow-ow!" Jerry hugged his groin as his weight caused him to fall onto the floor, which woke Beth up from her sleep.

The woman looked towards Jerry and took notice of his pardicament, yet kept a calm yet sleepy expression as she eyed his condition. "Jerry, I'm busy trying to nap here, can't you let a woman get her beauty sleep?"

"Um... sure..." Jerry awkwardly replied. He unlodged himself from the chair and got up, still holding onto his nether regions. "Ow, ow, ow, it still hurts. Good thing I wound up here and not some other crazy sci-fi bullshit." Jerry took notice to see that Beth was trying to go back to sleep and sighed. "Welp... I can see that you're busy with whatever it is you need to be doing. Bye, sweetie." And with that, Jerry closed the door. He was kinda hungry, so he walked to the kitchen, however making sure to check every door along the way in case it wasn't another dimension he landed into. As he was traversing the area, he soon heard some people speak, and proceeded to go towards the direction of the living room. In it, he saw Rick, Reimu, Morty, Summer, and a blonde-haired girl in the area.

"Oh, there you are. Took you long enough to get here." Rick said in a deadpan, half-joking manner.

"I had a feeling you were responsible for my rescue." Jerry said.

"Don't get your hopes up, Jerry. Your son missed you, and your niece wanted me to take you and her back." Rick explained.

"On the bright side, you don't have to explain what happened back at Pluto, and all of us, sans Summer, were there." Reimu said.

"Yeah, I guess that... some people can't handle the truth, especially idiots like me." Jerry admitted, which gave the black-haired girl a smile.

"Well, they were outright intolerant and refuse to accept that their way of life is destructive to themselves. That, and/or they don't care and are just using you to promote their own uncaring attitude and corporate greed. However, I'm glad you've come to terms with the whole thing. I saw it in person, after all." Reimu said. "We humans are a stubborn bunch, that's for sure, but at least we're making some progress."

"You've like, got to tell me the whole story." Summer said. "I'm pretty interested in what you have to say."

Reimu smirked. "Only if you tell me your side of the story."

"Deal." Summer replied with a smirk of her own. "Besides, I've got some unfinished business to attend to."

"Oh... okay." Jerry said. "What kind of unfinished business?"

The next day, Rick and Summer were in tank tops and denim pants, and Rick pulled out a radio. "Grampa, I'm curious as to what the radio is for." Summer asked.

"Well, you'll see." Rick said. He turned it on, causing a familiar song to play.

X 'gon give it to ya,

'gonna give it to ya,

X' gon give it to ya,

'gonna give it to ya,

"X 'Gon Give it To Ya? Perfect for payback." Summer said with a smirk. Rick shared the smirk and they proceeded to put their fingerless gloves on and work out. Summer started by lifting up a giant weight as Rick held onto the bars, watching as his redheaded granddaughter lifted the weight with a look of determination in her eyes.

X' 'gon give it to ya,

Fuck waiting for you to give it on your own.

X 'gon deliver it to ya,

Knock knock, open up the door that's real,

The two were a little more buff, with Summer holding Rick's legs as the scientist did some push-ups.

with the nonstop pop up and stainless steel,

In the gym, Rick and Summer were busy injecting some pink fluid into their bodies, further buffing themselves up.

Going hard, getting busy with it,

But I got such a good heart that I'll make your mother fuck him one day (get it),

Rick and Summer were lifting some heavy dumbells in the gym, further buffing up.

Damn right, and I'll do it again,

Cuz I am right so I gots to win,

By now, Rick and Summer were both pulling the same weight, granting them confused, awkward, and semi-afraid looks from the other people working out. It didn't matter to them, they had a score to settle and a song to work out to.

Break bad with the enemy,

No matter how many cats I'll break bread with,

I'll break you send to me you motherfucker,

As they worked out, Reimu had finished doing her laps on the track. She was nowhere near as buff as Rick and Summer were in their current state, but she knew she had to work out at the gym every once in a while. She had traded her original attire to a red and white tracksuit and discarded her hair ribbon, yet still kept her hair tubes (which were her own personal style, after all) on her side bangs. She took notice of the song that was playing and proceeded to walk towards it as she took a drink from her water. She took a look at Rick and Summer and smiled. "Knock 'em dead, you two." she proudly declared.

Elsewhere in Seattle, several people were sitting in chairs in an auditorium. In the very back, a giant monitor sat over a painted background of a city, and on the stage itself, Needful stood on a red rug, finishing his speech towards the awaiting crowd as the monitor showed the logo on it. "And that's how I took my storefront into the forefront of the upfront! Thank you Seattle!" However, as soon as he completed his speech, he heard the wall break behind him, and saw a buffed-up Rick and Summer burst through and approach him. "Rick? Summer?" The people Needful spoke up procced to grab onto him and beat him senseless.

"Stupid mother-" Rick growled.

"Stupid bitch!" Summer snarled.

"Stupid motherfucker!" Rick barked.

"Get some!" Summer said.

"How do you like that! Augh! How do you like that?" Rick asked. By the time they let go of him, Needful was thrown onto the ground. The devil had a black eye on him, several of his teeth were missing, his outfit was partially torn, and several bruises covered his body.

As Rick and Summer menacingly approached him, Needful had one thing to ask. "Urgh... w... why?"

A still smirking Summer grabbed Needful by his shirt, dragging the devil to her eyes as she hinted why they came to beat him up. "Because sometimes what you really need is for someone else to pay a horrible price." She let go of Needful and reared back her fist as if she were about to punch him, only for him to cower. Rick and Summer looked down at him triumphantly as the latter proceeded to spit on him.

"And it is reported that this just in, CEO Lucius Needful was beaten up by an old man and a redheaded girl, both of which are extremely muscular. Further reports show that while the items are free, they come with their own drawbacks. Internet authorities are busy cracking down on it, but they don't seem successful yet. Further decryption is possibly required."

The news showcased what happened that day, and Maribel watched it from her spot on her seat. The young blonde was currently in Seattle's airport, sitting on a seat in one of the terminals, happily munching on her cheeseburger as she watched the recording of the events on the TV mounted on the wall. "All in all, I'm glad that he got what was coming for him. I might've been dragged into that mess, but my adventure with that Rick guy and his family was fun in the end." Maribel lamented.

"Wait, you know of him?" Maribel's father asked.

"Well, I only met him that one time." Maribel said. "I went to the same school his grandchildren went to."

"Wait, what?" Maribel's mother asked.

Before the family could continue their conversation, they heard a jingle before someone spoke through the PA System. "Attention to this on flight D5, the flight to Gensokyo, Japan will begin shortly. Please walk into the plane single file."

Maribel Hearn smirked. "Heh, about time, too. I had an adventure back at Seattle, but for Gensokyo, I am going to have many more where that came from." And with that, she went into the passageway towards the plane, followed by her parents. If there's one thing she was waiting for, it wasn't the sushi or Nintendoland, but the supernatural and the paranormal that wandered around in Japan. She couldn't wait to discover it, no matter what she encounters.

Apologies for my tardiness, but I've been working on this chapter for quite a while and I had to retcon it. Originally, I was trying to have Reimu try and sucessfully convince the Plutonians that their way of life is wrong, but thinking about it, the Plutonians represented fundamentalism and corporate greed, so it would likely have not worked, and she would've faced the same thing that Jerry had. Even when evidence is presented to them, they just brush it off and outright attack the person who dares challenge it.

On the other side of things, you might've noticed that I gave Maribel Hearn a debut, and I've had her move to Japan at the end of the chapter due to her father getting a job transfer, and then some. Anyway, you might've noticed in earlier chapters (if you read them) that Gensokyo is a city rather than a land that was wrenched from reality due the absence (or failure, hadn't decided) of the Great Hakurei Border that Yukari set up. Also, if I include Maribel Hearn in the story, then you bet your bottom dollar that Usami Renko (or Renko Usami for us folks here in the west) would have to be in the story.

Believe me, I have been wanting to explore the Gensokyo of this timeline and how different it is compared to that of the canon Touhou Project. With it being a well-known city, youkai aren't exactly going to be... around or something, considering that youkai are the physical manifestations of human fear and superstition as told by Touhou canon. That, however, does not mean I would exclude them in any way, shape, or form. I'm using the whole Secret Sealing Club thing to delve into the history of Gensokyo and provide an explanation to how it came to be in this timeline. A subplot, if you will. And yes, before you ask, I am planning on including Marisa in the main story. She's one of the two main protagonists of Touhou, along with Reimu herself, so I am planning on giving her some time to shine.

As for this fanfic's equivalent of 'Close Rick-counters of the Rick-kind', I also have plans for it as well. Trust me when I say you'll be wowed in these next chapters. Toodaloo!