Who's up for a short, fun, smutty, mostly-pointless chapter that serves almost no purpose in the overarching story? No, you had enough pointless fun with the festival? Well, that's what I'm doing now. At over 350k words, I think I've earned a short chapter that's just fun, we get back to the important stuff next chapter. Do read the A/N at the end, though…

Morning dawned bright and sunny on Aloy's birthday, the sky almost a more brilliant blue than usual, and she rose with a smile, listening to the distant rumbling of falling water.

It had taken a couple of days after the Deima fight, but they'd found a beautiful waterfall surrounded by thick forest, lush greenery growing right to the banks of the stream it poured into, cascades of water tumbling from a rise of boulders. Most incredible, though, was a single plant of night bloom growing right in the corner between the stream and the cliff from which the waterfall poured, indigo blossoms sparkling from the constant spray. They could probably get two good roots from it, but since it was the first wild night bloom they'd seen, Aloy chose to leave it there, as just a nice little marker for the spot where she'd spend her birthday ritual. Machines prowled the vicinity, of course, but that was more of a help than a hindrance thanks to Aloy's override.

Nil was asleep beside her; they'd taken shelter in an especially thick knot of trees, and Aloy had already overridden all the Machines in the area the previous night in preparation for today, including Longlegs and even a couple of Stalkers, so with a few shrubs relocated to cover them, they'd been perfectly safe through the night even without setting traps. As she got up, she avoided waking him, trying to be as quiet as possible as she gathered her leathers, necklaces, Focus, and pack of valuables before carefully edging her way out of the camp.

A Longleg and a Ravager, both overridden, passed her by as she made her way to the water formation, curtains of crystal spray tumbling down from on high, crashing into the stream below that just kept on flowing. It felt like the water was dancing, leaping through the air along its journey in a joyous celebration of its own existence. Wherever that thought came from, it made Aloy smile, and she set to gathering firewood.

Just like after she'd recovered from her infection, she scrubbed her clothes clean on a nearby rock and set them up over the fire to dry - she didn't have to boil them, as she hadn't been sick, but she took care with the washing. Her new dress crossed her mind, but she'd only worn it for a couple of days, along with using that weird waxy stuff Rhoda had given her to help her not stain it with sweat…and besides, it would be impossible to wash such delicate fabric. Then, when her leathers were all dry, she moved the rack off the fire, unbraided her hair, and stepped into the stream, carrying only her hunting knife and her other precious keepsake from Rost: a comb whittled from a boar skull.

Picking up a smooth rock, she settled down under the falling water so that it constantly pounded against her hair, encouraging the fiery strands to fall in a straight line, and began carefully working the knots and tangles out. Most Nora didn't bother grooming like this, any hair they didn't shave was usually kept either braided or knotted in thick ropes, but, possibly out of a rebellious impulse, Aloy preferred to argue with her hair once a year. Since the Proving, she'd realized Rost's disapproval was probably more specific to him than the tribe as a whole - Sona clearly groomed her hair instead of braiding or knotting it, and Vala had too, but of course Sona held a great deal of respect in the Nora tribe, maybe that was why she got away with it. Either way, though, Aloy treasured this ritual, something all her own, and she would maintain it no matter what, even if it wasn't as abnormal as Rost had led her to believe. She'd tried grooming without a waterfall and found it nearly impossible, so she'd always allowed the frigid water of the Embrace to help her, rendering the presence of a waterfall vital to the whole affair; this waterfall was much warmer, though, as well as much bigger, meaning it would be easier here than it had been in the Sacred Land. Which was just as well, as that was the only part that would be easier this year.

More than just for grooming, this ritual was how she'd kept herself focused as the years went by, and she had vowed it would keep her focused no matter what came after the Proving. Of course, she'd had no idea exactly what life after the Proving would hold, and she needed this ritual now far more than she ever had.

First, she focused entirely on her hair and scalp, scrubbing the skin underneath and working out the knots in her crimson locks. It was an opening of sorts, as she washed away the grime that had accumulated on her head and untied the tangles around her brow, clearing her mind of clutter and confusion. It took a lot longer than it had last year, but eventually, the comb ran clean through her hair no matter the angle, and she set it aside and picked up the river stone, then began slowly and methodically scrubbing her neck, shoulders, arms, and hands.

My hands. The things I've wrought, the battles I've fought, my achievements. The past.

Normally, this was when she reflected on her training in the past year, going over her triumphs and failings. This year, though, couldn't have been more different. Her eighteenth birthday had been only a few days before the yearly Proving, which at the time had been a good thing, it had meant she hadn't had to wait long to participate once she was of age, but so much had happened since then…At this time last year, she hadn't even heard of a Sawtooth, and now she bore the marks of fighting Annihilators and a Leviathan, to say nothing of her first experiences fighting against other humans. Her hand was slow, almost reluctant as it scudded over her new scars, as she allowed everything she'd learned and experienced to sink in: it had all been in the course of one year. Her hands had climbed ice-covered mountains and patrolling Tallnecks, fought and killed metal monsters the size of houses, cut her way through bandit camps and the Eclipse, uncovered ancient stories buried in old ruins, wielded a myriad of unimaginable weapons, and taken control of and ridden Machines…and, also, had held and caressed her mate, the unlikeliest of all the unlikely things she'd experienced: Nil, the proud Red Raider. All of that was to say nothing of the places she'd been, the other people she'd met, the friends she'd made, the experiences she'd had…It was almost impossible to reflect on everything the last year had held, there was just so much.

Sighing, she settled on the big picture. She had been created by a being that might as well have been the world's mother-goddess, as Teersa had believed, all to fight in a war that she still didn't really understand. The bend in her right upper arm caught her attention as she cleaned it - it was only slightly pronounced, just barely enough to be visible to the naked eye, but it felt like so much more when she drew her bowstring. Just another sacrifice for this war she'd been born into, and as she reflected, she couldn't help but think that all of it was so…pointless. Nil had said that her scars made her stronger, but right now, they just made her sad; so many battles, so many struggles, and with so little to show for it. Fighting the Eclipse had been a righteous cause, but all the Machine battles were for nothing - HEPHAESTUS was so vital to the balance of life on this planet, his creations were invaluable, and yet she'd had to fight and kill so many of them, and he'd just made bigger, stronger, more violent ones in retaliation, an endless cycle of increased violence that would continue until GAIA was restored and he could be reasoned with. By all rights, the sub-functions shouldn't even be her enemies, yet they were lost and confused and sad, children who were lashing out in a desperate attempt to find meaning in their lives. What almost made it worse was that Aloy could relate to that - like the sub-functions, she herself had been forced into life against her will, a life in which only two things had ever made her truly happy: Rost, and Nil. All the rest was chaos, danger and death and killing and fighting and pain.

…Rost. Oh, Rost! Her gaze turned back to her comb, and for the first time, she realized she hadn't actually seen Rost make it, she'd simply had it for as long as she could remember…had it maybe belonged to his mate, or his daughter? Only a year ago, she hadn't even known his story, why he was an outcast…A lot of his cold stoicness made sense now, yet even after he'd broken her heart and walked away from her the day before the Proving, he'd never abandoned her, not even in the name of the tribal law he'd loved so much. He'd died for her, and she'd never gotten the chance to call him "father" to his face, never realized how blind she was. She'd refused to call him that growing up because she'd believed she had a father somewhere, that there was a man in the world who had given her life; now, she knew she didn't have a father, but more than that, she realized that the man who raised her was the only father she had ever needed, that he was her father in every way that mattered. But now he was gone, and she could never tell him so. As she worked mindlessly at scrubbing her arms one last time, she closed her eyes and remembered the last time she'd seen him, struggling with the mortal wound Helis had dealt, his final plea to her: "Survive." She had survived. But at what cost?

Eventually, she couldn't keep washing her arms, and so she moved on to her torso. My core. My center. Who I am, where I'm at. The present.

Last year, she'd been so sure of who she was: the motherless outcast who would win the Proving and demand answers for why she'd been shunned her whole life, and would at last understand herself. But of course, the answers she'd won had only left her more confused, more uncertain, to the point where she'd walked away from everything and ventured into the Forbidden West to try to figure out who she was, and she still felt lost. During her nightly watches the previous few days, she'd studied the pendant Nil had had made for her, trying to understand what it meant, but found no answers. She was…a clone of Elisabet Sobeck, greatest scientist of the ancient world, and the only one who could save GAIA, which was the AI that governed life on Earth, left behind by the best of the Old Ones to watch over and preserve the world, now shattered by some mysterious 'Masters'. But for who Aloy was, on a personal level…She was a Machine hunter, a friend to people in many different tribes, a warrior, a hero…a mate.

As her stone's shuddering journey across her ever-thickening coat of scars came down lower, to her abdomen and her rear, she thought of her mate again. Nil. Nil, of all people. Months ago, she'd been so sure that if she ever took a mate, it would be Varl, but now that notion seemed absurd. Nil was a bloodthirsty lunatic with a horrifying past, nothing about him was perfect, and yet…even after everything that had transpired at the festival, she still felt like she could trust and depend on him like no one else, they were so close - and in fact, seeing the worst sides of him had only brought them closer, if anything. And…in a way, Nil was everything she wished she was. Not his bloodlust, but his calm, his inner peace and his utter certainty, so little fazed him, and those things that did were directly tied to things in his past that he didn't like to remember. It was incredible to think that it had only been a couple of months ago that she'd sat down and told him the whole truth of the world, and it was just as amazing now as it had been then that he'd simply accepted it, without any protest or fuss. That someone could be so sure of their place in this world was almost intimidating, and she envied him for it…but…but there were things he couldn't feel. Empathy and shame were beyond him, maybe other things were too - maybe he was able to accept his horrific identity partly because he was incapable of certain emotions. Aloy didn't have that luxury, so it was harder for her. Yes, that made sense, it would be a lot more difficult for her to accept her identity than it had been for him because she wasn't like him. Even so, though…more trials would come. She had felt sick at the thought of telling Orns why she looked like Elisabet, just because she felt so insecure, and there would be more experiences like that; if she was going to continue to interact with people in this world, if she was ever going to face her maker, she needed to know herself perfectly. Even if it was terrifying.

Finally, she moved on to scrubbing her legs and feet. The roads I have yet to walk. The journeys that lie ahead of me. The future.

That was even worse than reflecting on the past or analyzing the present. Before the Proving, her goals had been so certain, her concentration on getting answers about where she came from so single-minded that she hadn't even worried about what she would do with those answers. Now, the future was vast, unknowable, and terrifying. For as far ahead as she could see, wars raged on, against everything that was trying to destroy her, whether she was ready to work against it all or not - especially HEPHAESTUS, who wouldn't stop targeting her until GAIA was alive again, something she would one day make real but which would take years at the least. And given the way the Leviathan had looked at her…she wondered if she could ever reason with HEPHAESTUS now, when he loathed her so much - he probably wouldn't listen to her even when she did eventually tell him he could go home, he would only want her dead. How long would the pointless fighting go on? How many more people would die for a meaningless war? To say nothing of the Masters…Who were they? Where were they? What more would Aloy have to do to make sure GAIA would be safe even after Aloy herself was dead and gone, as she would be one day, whether she lost a fight or not? What reasons could anyone have to want to wipe out life on Earth? Those answers, like the ones Aloy sought for herself, felt both vital to her future and terrifying to ponder.

But more immediate than those distant, terrible futures, one thing caught in her head, like a knot in the teeth of her comb: she had left the east to get a new perspective, in hopes of figuring out who she was, but while she felt like the answers were closer, the Forbidden West no longer felt foreign. What would happen with the Deima remained to be seen, of course, but if she managed to make peace with them…once she'd convinced ELEUTHIA to get rid of the Humanoids and return to GAIA Prime, what was left for her here? She could go south of the dead lands, maybe, and there was a lot left to see in Dry Bones, but…what was left for her out here? That was the thing about this quest she had undertaken, there was no clear direction for her to seek her resolution. Old ruins and dead gods, Machine fights and exotic tribes, none of them could give her what she was after. Her only hope had been to get away from the lands she knew, the people who thought they knew her without really knowing anything; and yet the Forbidden West had become that very thing, the same sort of place as the east. Why was fighting and forming relationships with entire tribes easier than understanding herself?

Only one bright spot shone on the horizon of her future: her relationship with Nil. It was complicated, and would only become ever more so, especially when they went back east, but whatever the future held, this was one thing she knew she would fight for, her bond with her partner had grown too important to her for her to lose. It wasn't love, she told herself firmly, she didn't love him, couldn't love him, but he was her mate and she didn't want to have to face anything without him by her side. So much had changed since coming out here, and that was why she needed Nil all the more - her only constant, something she could rely on no matter what disasters struck her convoluted life.

When at last every bit of her skin had been scrubbed thoroughly clean, she set the rock aside and picked up her comb again, brushing through her hair a few more times to work out the new snags that had inevitably formed in the meantime, trying to close the ritual. When her crimson locks were smooth once more, she parted her hair down the back of her head and swept the divided sections over her shoulders, then picked up her knife and carefully began to cut so that her hairline would be mostly even down her back. It had taken years to get the pattern just right, but by now it came easily, even having to carefully keep the cut locks in her hand when she moved from one side to the other so all the trimmings were held in her palm. After she was done, she clutched the ratty fringe she'd sliced away for a long moment, breathing, reflecting. At last, she opened her hand, and with a sharp exhalation of breath, let it tumble down the remaining rocks into the depths of the river, flashes of orange against the brown and white, as the final step of the ritual, wherein she would also let go of her failings and inhibitions of the past year and turn her face to the coming year unburdened. But it was harder to just let go of her burdens this year, so much harder…

With a heavy sigh, Aloy closed her eyes and sat back under the waterfall, feeling the pounding water flow over her. It was weirdly soothing, and she considered spending the rest of her birthday right here. It was so rare that she got to take a moment to just relax and breathe, let her mind drift. The few chances she'd gotten to relax had all been with other people…mostly Nil…

The sound of an irregular splash caught her attention, and Aloy sat up, her eyes flying open, already tensing for a fight. Instead of an attacker, though, she saw Nil, walking into the river as he approached her, his silver eyes burning…and his body completely bare.

"Nil," Aloy breathed, scrambling to her feet as quickly as she could on the slick, wet rock. "Nil," she repeated, louder, "what are you doing here?"

But it was plain to see, looking between his legs, what he was doing there. "I stayed back as long as I could," he told her, his voice rough over the cacophony of the waterfall, "but you looked like you were done."

"You were watching?!" Aloy yelped, stepping back under the overhang so a wall of water stood between her and her partner. "Nil, I told you this was private!"

"What?" he laughed, ducking under the falling water. "Washing your skin and combing your hair?"

"I-"

He grabbed her roughly, shoving her against the back of the alcove in the stone, his body pressed to hers, hot and eager. Scowling, Aloy pushed him away, and he pushed back. She pushed harder, her palms to his chest, and he was forced to back up a step, but he grasped her arms, his lips curled in a wicked half-smile. For a minute, they stood there, and slowly, Aloy's eyes wandered down to where he was ready and eager to take her. She'd never actually looked at him in this state, and a wave of curiosity overcame her senses. Taking one of her hands back, she reached down and touched his solid length, hesitantly at first, then wrapping her fingers around his hardness, testing it. It was almost as hard as bone, and she wondered how that happened. What made something normally so dangly turn so solid? And it seemed bigger like this, too, almost swollen…

Nil groaned, his grip on her arms tightening, and when she looked up, she saw his eyes roll back in his head, his expression awash with bliss. Fascinated, she ran her grip along him, watching his face closely, and his lips parted, head tilting back, another moan rumbling from his throat. Then, suddenly, he looked down at her, his silver eyes ablaze, and grabbed her wrist, pulling her off him.

"No more of that," he growled, throwing his weight against her, pressing her back against the wet rocks. "Want you. Now."

"Nil-" Aloy began to protest, but his mouth clamped over hers, their tongues met, and she melted at the taste of him, sweet and sharp and familiar. With a sigh, she ran her hands up his arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, already giving up. After all, this was her first birthday with a mate, why should she keep herself separated from him? The ritual was done anyway, and they were safe here…

His mouth released hers to wander down her throat, and he bit down on her pulse point, his hands everywhere. Aloy fully surrendered, bringing her legs up and around his waist and moaning as he pressed inside her. Already, her heart was pounding, fire flowing through her veins, the cold, wet rock felt good against her heating skin as Nil thrust inside her, already wild, grunting and growling as he took her. Waves of pleasure cascaded over her, washing away all the fears and uncertainties she'd been pondering, and she squeezed him with all her muscles, relishing his touch, their bond. It wasn't just a physical thing, being with Nil, she had learned that much when he'd performed his first experiment with what the Old Ones had taught him about bodily pleasure - what made it amazing was this closeness, his touch, his passion, the knowledge that he was there. Being with him made her feel like everything would be okay, and she could simply lose herself in the act, whole and safe for the fact that it was him. She did her best to match his movement, relishing the glorious feeling of his hardness rubbing against her insides, bliss building-

Suddenly, a hot wetness blossomed in her stomach, not her own, as Nil roared and went still.

Aloy blinked her eyes open, disoriented from the abrupt nothingness. She tried to move, to clench her inner muscles around him, but there was suddenly almost nothing there. His limp, spent manhood slid out of her, leaving her wanting something she couldn't have, a need that wouldn't be filled.

"Nil," she growled softly, "did you just…?"

"Sorry," Nil panted, and he lifted his head to flash his teeth at her. "I must've been watching you too long…though I might've been able to last if you hadn't touched me."

"You…!" Shock and aching emptiness melded into fury. With a scream of rage, Aloy pushed him back, and when her feet hit the ground, she balled a fist and punched him in the face with all her strength.

Still grinning, he stumbled back, and Aloy lunged forward, grabbing the first thing her hand found and throwing it at him: the rock she'd used to scrub her body clean. It met his skull with a satisfying crack!, audible even over the pounding waterfall, and he went down, falling onto his side. Still livid, Aloy reached out again and found the hilt of her hunting knife, lifting the blade without thinking. Nil looked up and met her eyes, and she saw a sparkle in his silver irises, a smirk curling his lips. Though she was furious, she remembered why she hadn't done this long ago, and forced herself to stop, though it took a lot of effort.

"The only reason I'm not going to kill you right now is because I swore on Rost's grave that I wouldn't," she snarled at him, and she forced her fingers to relinquish their grip on her knife, letting it clatter onto the wet rocks.

"As much as I'd enjoy that, I don't think the punishment would suit the crime," Nil chuckled.

"Oh, it would," Aloy told him scathingly. "You spy on my private birthday ritual, you interrupt it, you insist on having your way, and you don't even have the decency to…!" She shook her head, still burning with rage. "Whatever happened to honor above pleasure?!" she demanded. "Or your vow to never lose control?!"

All at once, the mirth vanished from Nil's expression, his jaw dropping as his eyes widened in horror. "…Oh, shadows," he gasped.

"Yeah," Aloy sneered.

"I…" He shook his head, visibly appalled by what he'd done now that Aloy had described his failure the right way. "Aloy, I'm sorry, I…Here, let me make it up to you," he said, climbing to his feet abruptly.

"How do you plan t-mmmmmf?!" Aloy's question was cut off by his mouth smothering hers, his arms wrapping around her and lifting her up against him.

How exactly this was supposed to make her feel better when it only reaffirmed that his manhood was dangling and limp, Aloy didn't know, but he didn't let her question him; still clutching her, he turned and walked out from under the waterfall, hefting her with him. His fingers went up inside her, which was a slightly soothing relief, but the way he moved and scooped made it seem more like he was trying to clean himself out of her inner sanctum for some reason, rather than make amends for his mistake. When the stream came up to his thighs, he reached down and splashed water up between her legs, washing her out more, but that only confused her, and did nothing to ease her wrath.

All of a sudden, he flung himself to the ground, throwing her underneath him. Luckily, they landed in a thick bed of grass that lined the edge of the river, under which was a squishy layer of mud, so though she took the brunt of the fall, it didn't hurt. Nil pushed himself up off her, but when she tried to sit up, he pressed her back down, shaking his head slightly. Aloy narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously but stayed down, and he scooted back to sit between her knees, eyeing her with something almost akin to apprehension.

Then, to Aloy's absolute astonishment, he bent down and pressed his mouth between her legs.

Too surprised to protest or pull away, Aloy lay still as Nil licked her aching loins, his tongue moving slowly around her entrance before sliding inside her - he was lucky her last blood had ended the previous day. She felt rather than heard him give a soft grunt as liquid heat poured up her spine, and she moaned, falling back in the muddy grass as the slimy muscle curled, exploring her inner walls. Nil pressed closer to her, his hands drawing her legs up over his shoulders before grasping her waist, holding her still as he continued his ministrations with increasing speed, his deepening licks sending blasts of euphoria erupting through her body. Aloy jerked and writhed, lost in bliss, her fingers twisting in the grass in a desperate attempt to ground herself.

One of Nil's hands released her hip as his mouth moved more fervently against her, almost devouring her, and his freed fingers pressed to the apex of her thighs, rubbing that sensitive spot he'd found. Pure ecstasy swept over Aloy's entire being in a smothering torrent, she could hardly breathe for crying out with pleasure, building up too fast until she shattered, exploding as his tongue ran over a particularly sensitive spot inside her, unable to feel her own scream as she was wiped out of existence by sheer bliss, it felt so good it hurt and she couldn't feel herself writhing and thrashing, pulling up long grass by the fistful as her body convulsed mindlessly in euphoria.

Too soon, she came back to herself, panting and dizzy, her throat raw and sore. Struggling for breath, she worked to lift her head and look down at Nil. When she eventually managed that, he was smirking at her and licking his lips. Gross, some distant, rational corner of her mind said, but she barely heard; instead, her attention was focused lower, on a very welcome sight.

"Nil," she croaked, still gasping. "Do…" She swallowed hard, fighting to speak, before finally managing in one breath, "Do it right this time."

He flashed his teeth and crawled on top of her, his weight settling against her as his mouth came for hers.

"Ew," she grunted, turning her head away, not wanting his tongue anywhere near her right now.

A chuckle echoed from his body through hers, and he placed his face in the crook of her neck as he hitched her thigh up over his waist and slid inside her.

It was, shockingly, an incredibly unpleasant feeling, her body was so overstimulated that the added sensation was overwhelming. Aloy told her body to quit complaining and deal with it, she wanted to feel her partner inside her whether it felt good or not, and after a few thrusts, the discomfort faded, washed away by fresh waves of pleasure. Unlike before, his movements were even and measured, his hands and lips roaming her body and setting her skin alight, and she melted underneath him, drowning in an ocean of euphoria. She didn't intend to move against him, but her body had other plans, her hips rising to meet his again and again, perfectly in sync, as ever.

Slowly, they increased their pace, Aloy drawing her arms and legs around the body of her partner, her mate, as his solid length penetrated deep inside her, slipping in and out on the wetness of her desire, reaching far beyond the range of his tongue, filling her deliciously with his presence, his being. She clenched her inner muscles, wanting to feel him as much as she could, white-hot bliss shooting up through her core with his every movement. Forgetting for a moment why she didn't want to kiss him, she grasped at his choppy hair - which had gotten longer, she distantly noticed - and pulled his head out of her chest to clasp her lips over his, breathing him, tasting him, toxic and addictive under an odd tang that she would later be repulsed by the memory of but which didn't bother her now. Ecstasy rose, sending her higher, tossed about on its tempestuous waves, her body jerking as it pleased and she didn't even try anymore, just losing herself in Nil. Nil, nothing, the nothingness of pure bliss…

For the second time, she shattered, harder and sweeter and hotter, but more conscious, aware of Nil's body and pleasure and nothing else. After a few moments, his seed filled her again, this time sending her own climax to new heights as she heard him roar as though from far away. It felt like a dance on the sun, just her and him, burning with the pleasure of their bond.

Eventually, she came back down to her body, a soft moan in her ears that she barely recognized as her own, Nil's breath gusting against her shoulder, chests heaving, hearts pounding, ever as one. For a long few minutes, they lay there in the cool, wet grass and mud, basking in the afterglow of all they shared, until Aloy finally caught her breath.

"Okay," she panted, lifting her head, and he rose up over her to meet her eyes. "I'll let you make it up to me."

Nil blinked, frowning. "Have I not?" he asked.

"Oh, not even close," Aloy sneered. "But you've earned the right. Get off me, and I'll tell you how you can reclaim your honor."

Still looking puzzled, Nil nodded and climbed back, releasing her to sit up. Looking down, Aloy confirmed that she was now plastered with mud and torn-up grass, her freshly-groomed hair already matted with filth. "Alright," she said, looking up to meet Nil's questioning gaze. "First, I'm going to wash off again. You're going to watch me, and this time, you're not allowed to touch me - or yourself," she added, suddenly remembering how the encounter had started and realizing that that was an option. "You have to just watch and suffer."

Alarm flashed in his silver eyes, but Aloy wasn't done.

"Then, I'm going to go back to the fire pit over there," she went on, pointing to where she'd dried her clothes, "and you're going to have it already lit for me, so I can dry off with the heat. Again, you're going to watch me, and you're not going to touch me, or yourself. When I get dressed and start braiding my hair, you're going to go back to our camp, get our things, and bring them here, and you're going to set up my bedroll and re-heat all our leftover meat - no hunting, you're not allowed to draw your bow for the rest of the day."

"Aloy-!"

"After I eat, I'm going to sleep, and you're not going to wake me up," Aloy continued, her lips curling wickedly. "You're going to take watch all night, and not sleep, at all. Oh, and from now until then, you're not allowed to speak unless I give you express permission. If you do all that and the Deima don't attack in the night, then when I wake up in the morning, you can consider your honor restored."

"If the Deima don't attack?" Nil repeated, his brow furrowing.

"It's not much of a punishment if you get to have fun," Aloy pointed out. "Not killing anyone or anything between now and tomorrow morning is part of your atonement."

"I don't control that," he pointed out.

"I don't care," Aloy stated flatly.

Nil stared at her…then, incredibly, he laughed. "You are a cruel mistress," he chuckled. "It's amazing how adept you are at torture. Although, I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised - the Sun tortures the night with pre-dawn light every morning before rising to banish it to oblivion. I only wish you'd rise and banish me."

"I'm not letting you off that easy," Aloy smirked.

"So I see," he nodded, flashing his teeth. "Very well, I will do as you say. For my honor."

"Good," Aloy nodded. "Starting now. Don't talk, just watch."

With that, she forced herself up on wobbly legs and stumbled her way back to the waterfall.

Mindful of being watched this time, Aloy worked to scrub the mud and grass from her hair, combing it all out until she was confident she was properly groomed for the year once more, then picked up the rock she'd thrown at Nil's head and started scrubbing her skin again. Sometimes, she would look to where he stood, still naked, and smirk as she slowly scudded the stone over her scars, sensually, knowing how much he loved them; his anguish was plain to see when she looked down and saw his arousal protruding again, prepared for release that would not come. When she got to her legs, she noted his essence dribbling out of her, and she reached inside and scooped out more of him, as he had, splashing water between her legs and wiping her insides until she was confident no more of his goo lingered - no need to waste one of their precious few remaining antidotes when she could wash his seed out just fine by hand.* This, too, she took somewhat slowly, eyes locked on Nil, and a smile curled her lips as she saw his fists clench at his sides, visibly shaking even from a distance; knowing him as well as she did, she could even make out the way his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding as she tormented him.

Eventually, the falling water, combined with her efforts, had cleansed her entirely of the unexpected encounter, and she gathered her knife and comb and returned to the campfire. Nil ran ahead of her and threw on the leftover wood she'd gathered, lighting it as she reached her pack and tucked her precious comb away in a soft, lined pocket of the bag. After stowing her knife away as well, she turned to the growing fire and held her hands out over it, then her body, contorting over the heat and rubbing her skin dry, before finally draping her hair over the smoke and scrubbing it until it was only damp. Not two paces away, Nil stood by and watched, and she could hear his groans of frustration as she worked.

At last, there was nothing to be gained from continuing to tease him, and Aloy reached for her leathers and started getting dressed. As she'd asked, while she carefully re-braided her hair, Nil walked away, then came back, now wearing his pants and carrying the rest of their things, his packs and hers. He laid out her bedroll by the fire, placed the last of their meat on racks over the flames, then set to strapping his armor back on as she finished tying her last braid. Nodding her approval at him, Aloy waited for the meat to sizzle, then took it off the fire herself, settling on her bedroll while she let it cool and reaching into her bag to pull out her Focus.

"For your watch," she said, handing the device over to him without putting it on. "At least you'll have all night to talk to HADES and explain your shame."

His lips quirking in a half-smile, he nodded wordlessly and took the device, though he didn't put it on just yet, presumably keeping Sylens in mind. Tilting her head as she sat back and reached for her food, Aloy decided to relent.

"You can say one thing," she told him. "Any one thing, right now. Make it count."

He blinked, eyeing her for a moment, a thoughtful cast to his expression. When at last he opened his mouth, he said, "When I had that pendant made for you, I learned from the artisan designer that night bloom and death bloom are the same plant - death bloom are the berries that grow from night bloom flowers."

Baffled, Aloy blinked at him, utterly dumbfounded as to why he would choose that to say, of all things. It was interesting, but how was it relevant? Frowning and shaking her head, she unconsciously tapped her chest where the pendant he'd given her rested below the hollow of her throat, ran her hand down to her necklace of keepsakes, then lay down on her bedroll and closed her eyes, exhausted. A rustle told her when Nil stood, presumably to take watch, and as she drifted off to sleep, she heard his low voice say HADES's name.

~X~

Night passed without interruption, and Nil held his post solidly, passing most of the time talking to HADES. He'd never discussed matters of mating with the murderous AI before, so explaining exactly why he had forfeited his honor took a lot of work. HADES was surprisingly fascinated by the subject - a function opposite his own, he said, as it was the process by which new life was made - though most of his inquires revolved around confusion over why Nil's failure mattered so much. The more he explained to his new best friend, the more Nil understood just how badly he had messed up, and it gave him an unpleasant clenching feeling in his throat and upper chest. Was this what shame felt like? Nothing he had ever done warranted shame as far as he was concerned, before now…maybe his actions at Cinnabar Sands, but even that was different…

Though HADES was delighted to have an extended amount of time with "friend", eventually, Nil had to end the conversation, if only because he was getting too tired to concentrate on the intricacies of communicating with something that wasn't human. It would be dawn before long, and Nil wanted to lie down, but as per Aloy's commands, he stayed on his feet, ever watchful for danger. It was an added cruelty that she'd given a reason to make him hope a fight wouldn't come, but if he couldn't reclaim his honor by fighting, he had to stay his hand. Blue shapes flashed in the vegetation, and Nil wondered if Aloy realized he hadn't had anything to eat, either, but he had to assume it was part of his punishment - he'd taken a basic extract to ease the throbbing pain in his head where Aloy's rock had struck him, and that had to be enough.

At last, the sun rose, as it always did, light eventually breaking through the surrounding woodland. Nil's eyes burned with exhaustion, his whole body was sore, yet he didn't move until he heard Aloy rouse.

"Good morning," she groaned, and he turned to see her stretching languidly. "Did any hunting parties come in the night?"

"No," Nil answered, keeping her other conditions in mind. "All quiet."

"Hmm…" Aloy reached out a hand, and he took off her Focus and returned it to her. "Alright then," she told him with a slightly mean smile, "you've reclaimed your honor, Aren Khane Nil."

"Oh, praise the Sun!" he gasped, allowing his sore shoulders to drop in exhaustion as relief crashed over him, though he didn't let himself collapse entirely. Exhaling his tension on a single breath, he smirked at his beloved huntress. "You are cruel, my love," he told her. "Helis got off easy. I dread to think what sorts of punishments you could invent if you had my sister's job."

"You're the one who screwed up," Aloy pointed out, but she stepped closer to him and placed her hands on his arms. "But…you made up for it. Even if the first thing you did was really disgusting."

"Did you enjoy it?" he inquired, remembering the sharpness of her taste - fire and danger, stronger than on her mouth and skin. He hadn't expected that old-world trick to taste good, but she'd been delicious.

"A lot more than I should have," Aloy admitted begrudgingly.

"You know how I feel about that word," he smirked, unable to help himself.

A surprised laugh huffed its way out of her throat, and she shook her head. Then, incredibly, she smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, almost as a final assurance that he was forgiven, and he felt the knot in his chest release, freeing him from the strange sensation of 'shame'. "Come on," she told him, "we need to stock up before heading back into Dry Bones - if the Deima haven't come to answer our offer of peace, we might as well get back to what we were doing. The entire south of the ruins is still new to us."

"I have your back, Aloy," Nil nodded.

"Good," she chuckled, and she turned from him to get her armor and weapons. "I'll even let you do all the hunting for our meat supply," she told him over her shoulder.

"A kindness and a relief, to be unchained once more," Nil responded, a grin tugging at his lips as the anticipation of bloodshed - even animal blood - suppressed his fatigue. In response, she laughed, as though she understood exactly what he meant…which, he supposed, she did. She understood him, he realized - had to, to have concocted such a perfect punishment, and yet she still wanted to be with him.

It was a stunning realization, but Nil felt a bubble of happiness swell in his chest. To be both truly understood and desired was something he'd never expected anyone to feel about him, and yet here he was. He knew he shouldn't have relished it, but…well, he wasn't about to fret about something involving the word "should".

With all her things stored and in place, Aloy stood and turned back to him. "Let's go," she said, and he nodded, falling into step behind her as they left behind the waterfall and the overridden Machines that had guarded them all through Aloy's birthday.

*Yes, I know that's not how it works. But Aloy doesn't.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed that short, fun, smutty, mostly-pointless chapter, because from here on out, the fun is over. Things are about to get dark, and they'll only get darker, a lot darker than you're thinking right now, even if you've already divined the one contribution this chapter makes to the overarching story - there will still be sweet moments, but there will be no more humorous or joyous ones, even the epilogue will only be bittersweet, all actual happiness ends here. We've still got another nine chapters to go, but they're all going to be dark, sad, depressing, disturbing, and/or straight-up heartbreaking (again, except the epilogue, kind of), I guarantee you're not ready for what's coming. You are warned. Proceed at your own risk.