Hello, crazy beautiful world! It is I, DIOOO-!
*We are experiencing technical difficulties! Please stand by!*
Sorry, it's me, the Scribe. So as promised, this is not a full chapter, but another minisode. This takes place while Angel was still knocked out in the nurses office. It's a scene that I desperately wanted to include, but it wouldn't quite fit in the tone of the full chapters, so voila! I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you enjoy it! The next full sized chapter and the start of the internship arc is next!
But first, drum roll please!
...
The story has reached 20,000 views! Blew that milestone out of the water faster than you could say buyer's remorse! Let's keep going!
Reviews: Engineer4Ever, I'm glad you enjoyed the festival finale! As for what's to come now that Angel's in the open, heh, lawyers? Please, not something so... pedestrian :}
Hotshot6: If I'm reading the numbers right, you read the entirety of the fic in about 5 hours, wtf?! Good to see that I held your attention that long, jeeze!
whkestila: You'll have to wait and see. Maybe he will, maybe we won't. All I will say: THE MEATMAN COMETH!
And with that, I hope you all enjoy the closest thing to crack that I've ever written! Ciao!
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Please rate and review!
"This means someone is talking."
'This means someone is thinking to themselves.'
This means it's a flashback.
*This means it's a sound effect!*
{This means I'm speaking in a different language!}
Angel in a Gilded Cage
Katsuki's palms itched, which was unusual for him due to his nitroglycerin sweat always keeping his hands from getting dry. It wasn't, however, unusual as to why they were like this.
He was getting excited. After coming in third and second for the last two events, he was finally dominating the competition as he had planned from the start. He had beaten that Uraraka girl in the first round, her fighting spirit and tenacity earning her enough of his respect for him to finally memorize her name. Then he had beaten that Black Chicken, easily he might add, due to his quirk being a total counter to his opponent.
Now he was but a few steps away from the finals and taking it all. He could hardly wait!
Half and Half had already done him the favour of knocking out the other members of Katsuki's hitlist, Deku(the upstart that he was) and Angel Girl. Once he puts the IcyHot bastard in the hospital, then he will have cemented himself as the best of the class, the highest of all of the first year students at the most prestigious hero school in the country! Everyone will finally forget his losses to Deku and Angel Girl at the Combat Trial and Entrance Exam respectively.
'Just wait till I get that gold medal! Then those assholes will know I'm the best!' He told himself as he stepped into the light of the stadium, moving towards the ring.
When he spotted his opponent at the far end, his mood immediately soured.
Ofcourse, first he had to beat this freak.
"Heeeeey Hotpocket, did you miss me?!" The crazy girl, Baha Tina, waved excitedly.
Out of all the people he knew, this girl was the biggest anomaly. It didn't matter how much he yelled at her, nor how strong his quirk was, Baha remained completely unfazed.
In fact, she kind of reminded him of the old hag. And didn't that thought make him shudder.
What was worse was how she instead seemed to thrive under his scorn when they were on a team, taking his insults and barking on the chin and just giving him praise and adoration in return.
That, combined with her explosive quirk mirroring his own in firepower and utility made him more uneasy than he thought he'd be going into this fight. He had some kind of idea of how it worked, where anything she makes physical contact with turns into a bomb of some kind, but he didn't know her limits in terms of power or use.
"Tch!" He was no use worrying about shit like that. Who was he, Deku?! He was going to be number one and this weirdo was standing in his way!
He stomped up the steps into the ring.
"THIS IS SHAPING UP TO BE A HELL OF A SHOWDOWN FOLKS! A BATTLE BETWEEN TWO YOUNG, EXPLOSIVE PRODIGIES! F***! I DON'T KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR!" Mr Torgue yelled out.
"You… really have a thing for explosions don't you?" Mic muttered, bemused.
'Loud as shit ass pains.' Katsuki grumbled, his temper already glanced away from the announcer's booth to fix a glare on his opponent in a vain hope to intimidate her into taking him seriously. The effort was wasted as she only giggled and blushed, seeming to have misread his intentions again. Pressing a hand to her lips, she blew him a kiss.
"Oh? It looks like the contestants are flirting with each other! Is love blooming on the battlefield?" His english teacher hinted, the insinuation immediately making Katsuki bristle.
"OF FUCKING COURSE NOT! SHUT YOUR FACE ASSHOLE!" He bellowed, aggressively flipping him off.
"Aww, someone's playing hard to get!" Baha said in a lilting voice.
"DON'T YOU EVEN START!" He shot back.
"Er-well, it appears that the contestants are ready!"
"I CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANY LONGER! BAKUGO VERSUS BAHA! FIGHT!"
*BOOM!* The moment the buzzer blew, Katsuki did his signature trick of using his explosions to launch himself at his opponent! After watching her fight Four Eyes and Shitty Hair, he knew that he needed to end the fight before she turned the ring into a minefield.
He wound back his right arm, palm alight.
"DIE!" He roared and swung!
Baha's smile only widened as she stared death in the face.
"Whoop!" She let out as with a burst of pink fire and a pop, she blew the concrete under her feet, propelling her into a backflip that carried her over the blast from Katsuki's palm! She landed on her hands where another explosion sent her into another flip further away, over and over again.
Katsuki scowled. Not only did this chick have a quirk like his, she had a way of using it to quickly move around like he did!
"Yoohoo! Catch me if you can Huggabutt!" She trilled from the edge of the ring, standing on one hand.
She was nimble, he'd give her that.
'It won't save her!' He growled and flew at her again.
Just as he passed over where she once stood, the ground flashed, just as he expected!
With a downward blast from his hands and a fanged sneer, he leapt over the trail of explosions left by the girl's somersaulting.
"THAT CHEAP SHIT WON'T WORK ON ME!" He bellowed, his shadow blanketing over Baha from where he soared over her! Surely she'd lose her cool now!
But once again, she was undaunted. If anything, she was gazing up at him with even more adoration.
"Sweet! You didn't fall for it, but I'm falling for you HARD, babe!" She said, skillfully twisting her body in time to narrowly avoid his attack! Another blast from her hand threw her over his head.
As she soared by, he felt her slap his back.
Eyes widening, Katsuki immediately tore off his jersey and pitched it as hard as he could, just in time as the garment flashed pink!
*BLAM!* It burst into flames, leaving him in his black tank top.
"Daaaaamn, you lookin fine! I wanna eat ice cream off those abs!" He spun around to see his opponent rubbing her chin and licking her lips as her eyes drank in his athletic physique.
Katsuki's temper continued to rise, his blood boiling. Was she ever going to take him seriously?!
"SHUT UP!" He demanded, his voice starting to go hoarse from how much he was screaming today. He followed it up with a quick blast, which she leapt away from again and landed in a squat.
Guessing she was likely going to launch herself again, Katsuki braced himself to dodge or give chase. So much for ending this fast. So far he hadn't gotten a single hit in, but neither did she at least. He was getting used to her movements, it wouldn't be long until he'd catch her like the annoying grasshopper she was!
"Hey!" She suddenly called out, making him raise a brow.
"What?!" He growled out.
"Do you prefer french or italian?"
He blinked for a second at the random question then snarled. "The fuck does that have to do with anything?!"
She smiled. "Gotta pick the place for our first date, duh!"
Katsuki's brain blew a fuse.
"WHAT ARE YOU-?!"
That moment of confusion was all Baha needed.
*BOOM!* In an instant she took off like a rocket and her head slammed into his stomach!
"PUWAH!" He choked out as the air vacated his lungs.
"OOH! AND A HEADBUT STRAIGHT TO THE SIX PACK! THAT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE EXCEPT THE CHUMP WHO DID IT BROKE HIS SPINE IN THREE PLACES!"
Katsuki's abs stung like hell, but he was too pissed off to care. He wasn't going to let this girl make a fool of him any longer!
Planting his feet on the ground, he grabbed the back of her jersey eliciting a happy gasp.
"Ooo~ sweep me off my feet dear prince!" She cooed, which he promptly ignored in favour of throwing her back towards the centre of the ring.
He threw out his sparking hands.
"EAT THIS!" He yelled!
*KABOOM!* The flying girl and most of the ring was enveloped in a fury filled blast! The crowd gasped in shock, making him chatsize himself a bit. He had been so angry that he had let loose a bit more than he probably should have. He WAS super pissed at this girl for screwing with him, but he didn't want to get disqualified.
Then he and the entire stadium froze as they heard the sound of enthusiastic clapping. The smoke began to dissipate and at it's centre was Baha, covered in ash and a grin a mile wide on her face as she applauded. She appeared relatively unscathed.
'Of course…' He groused, grinding his teeth to dust. 'Her body has resistance to explosive damage thanks to her shitty rip off of a quirk!'
"I am most impressed, good sir!" She said in her best imitation of a posh accent. "T'was a marvellous display of ability and talent and I am honored to have taken a part of it!"
The praise flew over Katsuki's head who was shaking with too much all consuming rage to care.
"However, I believe it is now my turn." She continued. "Afterall, it won't do for me to not respond in kind to such a strapping gentleman!"
"NRAAAAH!" He tore at his spiky hair and glared daggers at her. "STOP HITTING ON ME AND FIGHT ME DAMMIT!"
She only smiled again and held out her hands.
"Please accept this gesture of friendship and courtship!"
"Gesture?! Courtship?!" He spat, confused.
"Hey wait a minute!" Mic interjected. "What's that at Bakugo's feet? It kinda looks like a…"
Katsuki glanced down. Littered close around him were bits of concrete, arranged in a single file line. A couple seconds later, his eye twitched as he finally realized what he was standing in.
He was in the centre of a heart made of debris!
'Did she seriously risk getting close to me to throw these down when she headbutted me?!' He questioned, stupefied at how psychotic this girl was.
"Soooo~?" He looked back to Baha who was hopping impatiently. "Whatchu think?! Whatchu think?!"
"It's a pile of fucking rocks! I don't give a shit about your goddamn valentine!" He brusquely answered.
She merely giggled again and opened her hands. In her palms were more concrete pebbles.
"How about now~?" She sang.
Katsuki's eyes widened as the ground beneath him was bathed in a pink glow.
"AHAHAHAHA! HEARTSPLOSIOOOOON! She cheered, throwing her arms to the sky!
*BABABOOM!* The ring quaked as Katsuki was engulfed in a rose tinted, heart shaped mushroom cloud!
The crowd watched in awe as shards of the arena rained down, reminiscent of Uraraka's meteorshower while smoke blanketed the field.
"OH MY GOD, THAT WAS SO BADASS!" Torgue shouted with joy.
"Sure, but is Bakugo still alive?! We're going to be in trouble if one of the students bite the dust!" Mic pointed out.
*BOOM!* Just then a silhouette launched itself from the top of the smoke cloud! Leaving a trail of smoke and fire, Katsuki flew over the ring! Aside from some minor burns he was unhurt.
'Tch! Fucking crazy bitch! Almost got me!' He grudgingly admitted. What he had written off as playful insanity had almost knocked him out! There was a method to her madness apparently as she had spent the entirety of the match raising his temper so he'd miss her gathering debris to detonate under his feet. She had played him like a fiddle and it had almost worked.
Thank God for his reflexes though. If he had been a split second slower in his takeoff, his ass would have been gone!
With a series of short bursts, Katsuki slowed his descent until he landed in the midst of the black smoke. He stood there, hands twitched at his sides as he reigned in his temper. He needed to focus. This girl was obviously crafty enough to be an actual threat, he couldn't afford to make more mistakes.
Taking quiet breaths, he scanned his surroundings with his ears straining for the slightest sound.
*Thump!*
He whirled around and blasted to his right!
*BOOM!* The smoke curled from his attack and began to dissolve. A few seconds later the world could see Baha's body lying face first on the ground, right on the edge of the ring.
Katsuki narrowed his eyes as he stalked forward with caution.
'Did I knock her out with that last one? Or is this another trick?' He guessed as he stepped closer.
"Snort! Mnnngf..." He abruptly stopped and raised his palms as a strange sound came from Baha's mouth. When she didn't move he just stayed there, trying to read the situation.
"Schnxnn! Hebananana..." Then she did it again, her leg jerked a little.
His eye twitched in irritation as he finally realized what was going on.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" He ground out.
"Wait, hold on…" The announcers and the crowd leaned forward as they slowly arrived at the same conclusion.
"IS SHE..?"
Meanwhile, up in the stands, a blind man slapped a hand against his face.
"Oh fiddlesticks. She's asleep isn't she?" T.K guessed.
"This is normal?" Endeavour queried.
He sighed. "Yuuup! It's the downside of her quirk. If she uses it too much, it gets triggered."
"What does?"
"Her narcolepsy."
Katsuki's eye continued to twitch as he stood over his dozing opponent. She had a peaceful, joyful smile on her face as she let out obnoxious snores and mewls.
He glanced around, wondering what the hell the referee's were doing, only to see them both staring in utter bewilderment.
He snarled again. Looks like it was up to him to put an end to this farce.
Stomping over to Baha's prone form, he hooked the tip of his shoe under her stomach and with a quick flick, rolled her out of the ring where she flopped onto the grass.
It took a moment for Midnight's brain to restart. "O-Oh! Uh… Baha is out of bounds! Bakugo Katsuki moves on to the final round!" She declared.
The crowd seemed to gradually throw off their shock and hesitantly started applauding.
"WELL THAT WAS KINDA SORTA AWESOME?!"
"I suppose so? Is Baha still asleep? We might need a stretcher or something." Mic pointed out, still baffled by what had transpired.
Katsuki on the other hand, was livid. His anger boiled back up to the surface like a volcano about to blow it's top.
Not only had this girl made an absolute fool out of him and relentlessly stoked his ire, he had won only because she screwed around too much and fell asleep! No one was going to take this one victory seriously!
Short of losing, could this fight have gone any worse?
'Half and Half better deliver or I'm going to kill someone!' He grumbled as he stepped off the ring to let Cementoss get it ready for the finals.
He glanced at where Baha lay on her back this time, apparently so knocked out that she hadn't woken up when he pushed her off.
His eyes narrowed and he clicked his tongue.
'Is she still fucking smiling?' He wondered, walking over so he was standing over her. Her face was turned so her hair was covering her face.
He leaned a little closer to the side. What an absolute pain in the ass. At least she couldn't do anything else to him now.
Baha's blue eyes flicked open.
In the next instant, she leapt up and planted her lips on his cheek!
*SMOOCH!* "MMMWAH!" The entire stadium gasped at the smacking sound that lasted a couple seconds. As soon as they separated, Baha somersaulted backwards and sprang into the air!
"WHEEEEEE! I'M THE HAPPIEST GIRL ALIVEEEEE!" She cheered to the high heavens as she danced around like a hyperactive bunny! She turned back and gave Katsuki a wink.
"See you babe! Gimme a call later! Tina OUT!"
And with that, she sprinted out of the stadium in a cloud of dust!
"AWW, YOUNG LOVE! IT BRINGS A TEAR TO MY F***ING EYE!"
"You said it! I think we've found Yūei's new power couple!" The announcers gushed.
The audience was in flux, everyone babbling about what they thought was a budding romance. So wrapped up in their excitement they failed to notice one half of the supposed relationship rooted in place.
The veins bulged under Katsuki's skin, his entire pigment turning to a deep burgundy as he violently shook! Steam billowed out of his ears and nostrils. He saw red and took a deep breath.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! GET BACK HERE!" He raged and ran after the infuriating girl.
He never did catch her that day. The finals were put on hold until the referees and school staff could subdue him. After that, he chose to forget about the vexing blonde that had now fooled the world into thinking that they were a couple and focus on his real prize, beating Todoroki.
Little did he know that his opponent would throw the match for personal reasons, denying him his true victory. Sometimes you don't always get what you want.