Duck sat at the table, mindlessly twirling some spaghetti, but never eating it. He had lost his appetite. Sitting beside him were Lexi, Rev and Tech, and across the table were his parents. Mrs. Avery had done her hair up in what could only be described as a tornado-like style, while sporting the most elaborate light-up dress any of them had ever seen.
"So, are those super-hero outfits you wear designer?" she inquired, "Because if not then I know a few who would be willing to make a brand deal."
"Actually, I made them myself" Tech said.
"Oh… well, that certainly explains it" Joanna quickly murmured to her husband, though it was clear to the rest of the table just what she had said. The four of them were too worn out to even care at this point, they just wanted this dreadful evening to be over.
Eventually, Mr. Avery stood up, clinking his fork against his wine glass in order to grab the room's attention. Any chatter which had been present in the background quickly died out, as all eyes turned in their direction.
"I would just like to say, that this whole evening has been an absolute pleasure" he began, "and I wish I could get to know each and every one of you even better. Sadly, this night can't last forever, and so I would like to offer up one of our special guests to come and say a few words." A thunderous, yet still polite, applause filled up the room, as the crowd eagerly expected one of them to stand up and say something. The four looked to each other, none of them particularly wanting to speak to the crowd. After a moment of indecision, Rev volunteered.
"Allow me" he whispered to the others, as he stood up on top of his chair. It wobbled briefly, before he managed to regain his balance. The crowd grew quiet once more, clearly suspicious about what they considered to be a juvenile and informal method of gathering attention.
Rev cleared this throat, then began what had to be one of his greatest rambles of all time. The exact words could not be recalled by any of the people in attendance, but for the most part, the beginning was along the lines of:
"Well-gosh-golly-gee-little-old-me-out-here-in-front-of-a-crowd-and-without-a-single-word-prepared-and-yet-here-I-am-speaking-my-mind-as-I-often-tend-to-do-in-fact-if-you-were-to-ask-my-friends-then-I'm-sure-they-would-tell-you-how-much-I-can-go-on-and-on-for-hours-on-end-just-talking-about-whatever-it-is-that-interests-me-after-all-I-am-a-fairly-knowledgeable-person-on-most-technical-matters-but-not-all-technical-matters-as-that-area-is-more-so-the-department-of-my-mega-hot-boyfriend-Tech-and-so-while-I'm-not-nearly-as-good-at-that-sort-of-thing-as-he-is-I'm-still-better-than-most-people-but-that's-really-not-what-I'm-here-to-talk-about-today-so-I'll-quickly-move-on-to-my-main-topic-which-is-all-about-the-lovely-Avery's-and-their-function-which-they-are-throwing-right-here-tonight-also-known-as-the-thing-we-are-attending-right-now-and-the-function-which-I-am-rambling-about-" Rev continued on and on, not once stopping to catch his breath. As was expected, the entire crowd was completely lost. They were a sea of slack jawed faced. With Rev still rambling in the background, Lexi took advantage of this opportunity to speak to Duck.
"Say, why don't you go up there and say a few words" she suggested.
"What?" Duck scoffed, "No way! What would I even say?"
"Just say something so outrageous that your parents never invite you to one of these things ever again" she joked, "you said you hated these events, right? So, what do you have to lose?"
Duck looked up at Rev's still rambling figure, constantly jabbering like a mad cult leader. Lexi had made a fair point. He hated these functions, each and every one of them. Even more so, he hated how much his parents had trotted him out in order to get brownie points from their donors. He stood up. It was time to give everyone a piece of his mind.
"Hey blabber-mouth, I'll take it from here" Duck said, tugging at his sleeve. The Roadrunner immediately stopped, looking down and taking a seat once more.
"Thank you" Mr. Avery whispered to his son, relieved that it was over.
"No problem" Duck smirked slyly, standing up on his own chair much in the same way his predecessor had. It was in that moment that Mr. and Mrs. Avery felt a pit in their respective stomachs.
"Ladies, gentlemen, and everybody else" Duck began, "You know me. My name is Danger Duck; in addition to being a protector of the fine city of Acmetropolis, I am also the adopted son of the lovely Chuck and Joanna Avery. These two lovely folks have dragged me out to every luncheon and dinner party imaginable, and quite frankly I'm sick of it!" A collective gasp filled the room.
"Yeah, that's right!" Duck continued, "And do you want to know what else I'm sick of? You people! I can't stand each and every one of you!" It was at this point that the crowd had been absolutely demolished by the power of Duck's words. The few who were faint of heart had practically passed out as others tried to cool them off with splashes of water and waving handkerchiefs. The idea that their darling, sweet, innocent, little Duck could be so rude was simply more than most attendees could bear. Danger, however, was no were near done.
"I've had more fun in one night visiting the villains we've arrested, than you people have had in your entire lives!" He exclaimed, "And quite frankly, if saying all this means I am permanently ostracized from these so called 'social events' then I say good riddance! Jacking off alone in my room is more socially productive than having to be here! So, if nothing else… then I just hope each and every one of you knows, you're despicable." With that he stepped down, the crowd in emotional shambles, and his parents absolutely petrified at what this could possibly do to their brand.
"I'm not normally one to compliment you Duck, but that was the best speech I heard all night" Tech said as the rest of them stood up.
"Thanks, it was just an on-the-spot thing. Lexi was really the one who encouraged me to say something in the first place."
"Aw shucks" the bunny joked. Sadly, they were soon approached by a positively stupefied Mr. Avery.
"OUT! OUT!" he stammered, "O-out with you all!... Erm, that is to say I think it would be best if you were to leave" He quickly adjusted his tie, trying to appear more cordial.
"Well gee dad, if you insist" Duck shrugged. With that the four of them left the gala room, and began heading through the back halls in the hopes of getting back to the place they had parked their jet. They were just about to exit the building when a female voice suddenly called out to them.
"Hey."
They all turned to see a duck, about the same age as Danger, dressed in a maid's outfit and chewing a wad of bubble gum.
"I just wanted to say that that was a pretty cool speech you gave" she said, looking at Duck.
"Thanks" Duck nervously rubbed the back of his head as the other three Loonatics headed out the door.
"I don't recognize you, are you new here?" he asked.
"No, I'm with the catering service your parents hired. Y'know I kinda got the impression that you were a stuck-up asshole like them, but I guess your not half bad" She smiled casually, not showing off too much enthusiasm.
"Well, I'm definitely an asshole, but I'm by no means stuck-up."
"An asshole of the people?"
"Precisely" Duck affirmed. They both had a minor laugh after that.
"My name's Nina, by the way. Nina Russo" She began sauntering away, "Maybe I'll see ya around."
With that, she was gone.
"Yeah, maybe" Duck murmured to himself.
/
Rev paced in circles around the lab as Tech sat on the side, biting his nails. They had been waiting there for quite some time and the coyote was beginning to worry that his boyfriend would create a trench in the floor. This was supposedly the date and time at which Misty Breeze's manager would contact them for the interview, though he certainly was not being as punctual as they would have liked. Every minute that passed, Tech wondered if they were truly doing the right thing. They had gone in knowing the risks, but what else could they do? Sure, they could try and get the word out themselves, but no other platform would reach as many people as an interview with Misty.
"Oh-lordie-why-don't-they-just-call-us-already!" Rev wheezed.
"There's no reason to get so worked up" Tech said, though in truth he knew Rev could not help it. Then, as if on que, the light came on. They were calling! Tech leapt up to answer, but Rev reached the button far sooner than he did. A bald man appeared on the monitor before them, wearing a suit and tie. Both Tech and Rev looked to each other nervously. This guy looked professional.
"Hello" greeted the man, "I've worked out some times here, which I believe will be satisfactory."
/
"You two are doing what next month?!" Ace Bunny practically fell off his chair at the news.
"We're being interviewed by Misty Breeze" Tech explained to the rest of the Loonatics, who had gathered in the common area.
"And-you-can't-change-our-minds-because-we-already-have-everything-decided-so-don't-go-trying-to-talk-us-out-of-this-cause-this-is-something-that-both-Tech-and-I-decided-would-be-best" Rev added.
"What about our no interview policy!" Ace folded his arms, clearly annoyed that the two had gone and arranged all of this behind his back. This was just the sort of thing he could see going wrong in a million different ways. Furthermore, it was quite shocking that Rev and Tech of all people would be the ones to do something like this. He expected this sort of behavior from Duck, who did it almost all the time, but these two had a fairly clean track record. In addition, neither of them struck him as particularly outgoing, at least Tech didn't.
"Well, I for one support the decision" Lexi smiled.
"Thank you" Tech said, "At least someone understands why we have to do this."
"Grabathwabbashlabba me?" Slam pointed to himself, a tad disappointed.
"Yes Slam, we know that you understand too" Rev replied.
"Well, I for one couldn't be more supportive if I tried!" Duck wrapped an arm around Tech, who was quite irritated at the gesture, "After all, it's not every day you get to have an interview with the one and only Misty Breeze! So, when are we going on? Do you think I should wear a tux for the special occasion?" Duck looked back and forth from Rev to Tech excitedly, expecting an answer from one or the other.
"Duck, this might come as a surprise to you, but when I said that Rev and I had an interview with Misty Breeze, it meant that only Rev and I were going to be a part of that interview. You are not invited" Tech then peeled away Duck's arm, draping it at his side, "Besides, I'm fairly certain that Misty would have her security guards haul you out on sight."
Duck looked down in disappointment, "Alright then" he said before slinking away and melting into a couch cushion.
"So that's it then, your dead set on doing this interview?" Ace asked.
"I think it's honestly something we just need to do and get out of the way" Rev answered, "Besides, once it's over, things will hopefully go back to normal. We'll give the answers to the questions people have and then the whole thing will be out of everyone's system."
"I can only hope so" Ace sighed.
A/N: Hi everyone, I just have some quick updates to share on what the upload schedule is going to be like from here on out, so if you live in the future, then you can ignore this.
Ever since I started this fic, I have been adding new chapters, twice a week, every week. The reason I was able to keep up such a consistent schedule, while also pumping out so much content, was because I had already written a significant amount of the chapters before hand, meaning I had a sort of buffer. Sadly, that buffer no longer exists. I'm now going to be uploading chapter by chapter. This means the updates will be FAR slower than they have been. I'm not quitting, so don't get nervous if it's been awhile without an update. Thanks to all the readers, and I hope you enjoy!