You've got a chance to put things right

So how's it going to be?

Lay down your arms now

And put us beyond doubt

"See the World"

Gomez

July 7, 2012

Oak Park, Illinois

Sarah leaned forward in the front seat as Chuck pulled into Ellie and Devon's driveway. "This is the right number, Chuck. It's a beautiful house," she said softly. "You never saw your sister's house before?" she asked.

"She's only been gone five months. She was talking about Thanksgiving, but…" He stopped, looking uncomfortably back and forth between the house and Sarah. Sarah sensed his unease, sad that after all that time he was worrying about confronting his sister instead of just enjoying a happy reunion with her and Devon.

Chuck pulled out his cellphone, and started dialing. "Who are you calling?" she asked.

"Morgan," he said gently. "He thought I was coming back today," he offered. Sarah thought it was strange timing, realizing he was probably stalling.

"Hey, Buddy, it's Chuck," he said. "Yeah, no, I'm, no, I'm still in...well, I'm in Oak Park, at Ellie's house." Sarah watched him, half smiling, as he listened to Morgan saying something she couldn't hear. "Yeah, well, she's here. With me." He still smiled, but his eyes glistened as he continued to listen. "Oh, everything is fine, Morgan. I, uh, have a lot to tell you. Later. I promise. For now, can you just keep an eye on things there a little longer?" He smiled, whatever emotion choking him up having dissipated. "Sarah and I will see you when we get back."

Chuck pulled the phone away from his ear, Morgan's excited chatter audible to Sarah in the passenger seat. He was smiling, close to laughing, when he put the phone back against his head. "Yes, Morgan, yes. Yes." He turned the phone away from his ear.

Sarah heard Morgan yelling, "This is awesome! Welcome back, Sarah!"

"Hi, Morgan," she called sweetly.

Laughing, Chuck put the phone back to his ear. "It...uh...might take a little longer than I thought, for, uh... a lot of reasons. I promise I'll stay in touch. Ok, bye." His smile didn't fade once he had hung up. Sarah thought to herself, but didn't say, that maybe it was less stalling, and more moral support.

It was only half a smile, when he turned to her, but he said, "Let's go."

Devon answered the door, holding his two year old daughter on his hip. "Uh Chu," Clara said, reaching out her hands to him.

"Did she just say Uncle Chuck?" he gushed, at the same time thankful for the icebreaker. Out of the mouth of babes, he thought.

"I think she did!" Devon exclaimed. "We practice with your pictures every day," he added, adding a higher pitch to his voice as he addressed his daughter. "Who's this, Clara?" Devon asked, pointing at Sarah.

"Ra-Ra," she said, dipping her head shyly into her father's shoulder.

Sarah smiled, as Chuck said softly, "That's right, Sweetheart. Auntie Sarah."

"Come on in, guys," Devon said softly, stepping out of the way. "It's good to see you, Bro," Devon said to him.

Sarah watched as Chuck rubbed his hands down the sides of his pants, easing his sweaty palms. She grabbed one of his hands, feeling the tackiness for herself. Devon smiled when he saw it, placing Clara on her feet. "This is good news, guys. I know everything seems really messed up right now, but you have no idea how good it is to be able to stop worrying about this," he said, gesturing at them together.

"Oh, trust me, Devon, I have a small idea," Chuck said ironically, glancing quickly at Sarah, who smiled widely at him. He walked up to them, hugging them both together, one arm around each of them.

When he released them, Chuck asked, "Where is she?"

Devon's smile only faded slightly. "She's in her office. Talking to Director Bentley. But she knows you're here."

Chuck's face fell, even at just the mention of the woman's name. "Devon-"

"I'll just say it, right now, ok? I knew where Sarah was. Ellie never told me about...you know," he added, gesturing to Sarah and her condition. "But you need to talk to your sister, ok? There's more to it than just what it looks like. For the record, I'm sorry, Bro."

Chuck remembered, in a string of memories, how much conflict and trouble he had introduced into Devon's life, him being the family member who had known the longest about his double life. It had put him in a position of constant struggle, lying to his sister, worried for his and her safety. He wanted to apologize for it again, even as he now realized somehow this time the tables had turned, and it was his sister who had done the same thing to him. He wanted answers.

"What about the CIA? Was it really your idea for her to do this?" he asked.

"Once it was all out in the open, yes, it was." He watched Chuck's eyes narrow, and hurried to add before Chuck could interject, "And before you say anything, I know all the trouble I went to before to protect her from that. But I also was watching her close to coming unglued most days, worrying about you and not being there, you know, close to you. It was like the laptop, when Clara was really small. She needed to do this. I couldn't tell her no."

They both turned at the sound of her office door clicking open. "I'll let her tell you everything," he said softly, only for his ears.

Ellie emerged, walking to them hesitantly. Chuck saw her sleeplessness on her face, the thin lines of worry on her forehead. She walked into the room, almost intentionally avoiding making eye contact with him, which almost knocked the wind out of him, like a blow to the stomach. He only caught his breath again when he watched her pull Sarah into her arms.

"Sarah," she gushed, and Chuck saw the tears streaming from her eyes over Sarah's shoulder. "Thank God," she sighed.

"No, thank you, Ellie," Sarah said softly. "Everything I gained back I did because of you, how hard you worked to help me. To help us," she stressed, reaching behind her and grabbing Chuck's hand, pulling him towards them.

Ellie continued crying, as she finally looked at her brother's face. She had trouble maintaining eye contact, and kept shifting her eyes downward towards the floor. "You look so much better than the last time I saw you," she offered.

Sarah saw the color drain from his face, thinking it must have something to do with what she had learned last night. "It's not enough, but all I can do is say I'm sorry. Again. And to tell you everything. I'm sorry, Chuck," she repeated.

He remained silent, but pulled her into his arms, a complex panoply of emotions visible on his visage at the same time. When he finally released her, Sarah said diplomatically, "Why don't you two talk? I can get reacquainted with my niece." She smiled, and moved away to the small play area where Devon sat on the floor with his daughter.

"Come on, Chuck," Ellie said, guiding him into her office and shutting the door behind him. He looked uncomfortable, like he wasn't sure whether to sit or stand. She moved to the love seat on the wall, sitting, and gesturing for him to sit next to her.

"Where to start?" she asked herself.

"I know. There is so much...so many lies… that I…" He hated the sharp tone, stopped talking, knowing coming on that angry and strong would never clear the air between them.

She took several calming breaths first. "Sarah. The baby," she said. "I guess with that, I should start at the beginning. I gave her all my information before she left California and told her to let me know where she was when she was settled. The first time I talked to her, I thought she looked pale, or sick. But it kept happening. I noticed other things. I didn't know until yesterday that she was due in September." At his questioning look, Ellie asked him, "She told you she knows you're the father, right?"

He nodded, feeling his mouth go dry, his stomach twisting into knots. "Strangely, I think," he finally managed to say. "It wasn't as reassuring as I was hoping for. You know, having to use the ultrasound to...to…"

"She wasn't with anyone, like that, after she left. You have to know that. And before, well, that's obvious. But she was missing four days of her life. She had no way of knowing what he'd done to her, what else had happened. But I didn't know for sure until yesterday, Chuck," she said.

"Oh, God," he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut hard, as if the horrific scene he suddenly pictured could somehow be erased.

Ellie grabbed his hand instinctively, holding it as she added, "She didn't have any memories, but she was having nightmares, making me think she may have been experiencing some kind of post traumatic stress. At the very least, she was tortured. We know that for a fact, now. It's a long story, but we have proof of that."

She heard the sound, deep in his chest, a soft moan, an echo of pain and regret, for not being able to find her after he had lost her in Japan. Ellie put her arm around him, feeling the rigor in his arms and back, taught like piano wire.

"Her emotional state was impeding the remembering part. I was afraid if I confronted her, let her know I knew she was pregnant, it would set her back. I felt like I was always walking a line, but I always tried to work in favor of her memory. I knew once she had that, she would have you, and then nothing else would matter. That's what I rationalized anyway."

"At least she had you," he whispered, his voice small and broken.

"She relied on me a lot, at the beginning. I should have asked her, maybe tried forcing the issue, once she got better, but I didn't. I ended up afterward, just telling her I was keeping it a secret, so she would stop worrying about it. I was wrong. I may have cost you months of being without her, months of her pregnancy that you can't ever get back. I just didn't know what to do."

He looked away, his broken heart reflected in his eyes as he looked back at her, and she spoke. "Do you remember that phone call? With Morgan? Can you understand why I was just as worried about you?" she cried plaintively.

He took an enormous deep breath, but still felt like he couldn't breathe, when the memory rose to the surface. With tears streaming down his cheeks, he remembered.

XXX

March 15, 2012

Echo Park, Los Angeles, California

Hearing the door open, Chuck turned, to see in the hazy light from the courtyard illuminating the silhouette of Morgan in his doorway. He was on the phone, speaking frantically. "I think he's home, Ellie. Stay on the phone."

"Chuck?" he called into the dark.

"Go away," Morgan heard, a low, dead-sounding, uninflected sentence.

A sigh, then, "He's here. No, uh, no…" Morgan's voice cracked with unspeakable anguish. "I'll put you on speaker," he said quietly.

"Chuck?" Ellie asked desperately into the air. "It's Ellie. Can you hear me?"

"Leave me alone, both of you," he growled. Morgan turned on the lamp on the table beside the sofa where he sat. The blankness on Chuck's face was absolute. Morgan could see all eight of Chuck's knuckles, bloodied and bruised, from what he could only imagine in a horrified vision that wouldn't disappear.

"No, Chuck, I will not leave you alone. I will never leave you alone. I'm you best friend, do you hear me? I won't let you do this. I won't." He walked to stand in front of Chuck, his determination and earnestness clear to even Ellie, on the other end of the phone, silent but listening intently.

"You don't understand," he growled again.

"Not completely, no, I don't. But I do know something. And you're going to listen to me say it," he demanded. "Sarah may not be dead, but it still hurts just as much. I understand that. It even makes sense. But no matter what else, I know one thing. She would not want you to live like this. She would have done anything for you. Anything. She can't right now. But for what she was, to you, stop this," he begged.

Chuck still wouldn't look at him, but Morgan saw Chuck's jaw relax, even noted the light mist that appeared in his eyes. Crying softly himself, Morgan continued, "I know you would have died for her, like a hundred times. But can you live for her? Even if she's gone? Because that's what Sarah, what your Sarah, would want you to do. If you let this destroy you, you're belittling her feelings for you. Please, don't do that, because that love was the, the...mightiest thing I have ever seen."

The only sound in the room for a long time was the sound of Morgan's ragged breathing as he struggled to get his emotions under control.

"He's right, Chuck. Please. Let us help you," his sister begged, 2000 miles away, but as close as a whisper in the still of the room. Her love, Morgan's love, shone like pinpoints of light in his blackness. It gave him the courage he needed, to banish the darkness. A darkness into which he had intentionally immersed himself, the only elixir he had as a balm for an infinite, unhealing pain.

XXX

July 7, 2012

Oak Park, Illinois

"Does any of that make sense? I know, it doesn't make up for it, but…" She sighed, looking down at the floor.

He seemed lost in thought, not hearing what she asked. "How...how...uh, how, I mean, how accurate are ultrasounds for, you know…"

"Six weeks difference at the time she had to have had her first ultrasound would have been immediately apparent. Don't worry about that, Chuck. I've been worried about it for five months," she admitted, "but what you're thinking isn't possible. I know that for sure now."

He closed his eyes again, pressing both fists against his mouth, waiting for the wave of nausea he felt to dissipate. After several beats, he added, "How did you know...about...about…" He couldn't even say the word out loud. The thought horrified him so completely.

Ellie's face went slack, her bottom jaw trembling. "That's the other part, isn't it, Chuck? Why am I subcontracting for the CIA…" When she finally looked up, her face was twisted with pain. "Bentley asked for my help about the Intersect. Not to build one, not to reverse engineer one. They wanted definitive proof as to why every attempt at implanting an Intersect besides yours has failed. Once they can prove that it doesn't work, then they'll abandon it once and for all. I told her I would, provided they allowed me full access to their technology, and Dad's laptop, so that I could try and help Sarah. That's all," she insisted.

Calm, anger no longer boiling under the surface, he asked her, rather than yelling, "Can you trust Bentley?"

"I asked her to talk to you, Chuck. She agreed." Ellie stood, walking to the computer on her desk and switching it on. Chuck stood, following her.

"Hello, Mr. Bartowski," Jane Bentley said, only a hint of smile on her face, her hair pulled back into a tight bun.

"Director," he said neutrally.

"It's time to put down your weapons, Mr. Bartowksi. We are on the same side. Do you remember what I told you about your sister? She's brilliant. She has done more in the past five months than an army of CIA, NSA, and NCS scientists have done in five years," she proclaimed.

"Why do you need to know? What's so important? And why does my sister have to be in danger to do it?" he said defeatedly.

Bentley sighed. "The other thing I told you before, Chuck, is that I had your back. And I do. And your sister's. You have my word. I will never let anything happen to her. She was trying to help your wife. But we have another problem, that she was helping us with. Come to the lab, with your wife, tomorrow, for a briefing. I will explain everything."

"Okaayy," he dragged out, uncertain but willing to listen. Ellie turned off the computer. To his sister, he asked, "What does she mean?"

"Chuck, we'll explain tomorrow. It's complicated. But," she said quickly, noting how he was ready to pounce on her word choice. "The short version is that the NCS thinks there is an unaccounted for Intersect somewhere. In addition to yours."