Lisa

The next morning on the set, I left Jennie running lines with Jisoo and headed out to find Tedd. I'd tried to call him the night before while I was giving Jennie and Nayeon space to catch up but he hadn't answered. I texted, but that went ignored too. He was pissed, I knew he was, but I was confident I could fix it if he would stop being such a baby and talk to me.

Tedd was kind of a dick sometimes, but it wasn't intentional. He'd been in the business so long he didn't know how to be any other way. He was a good guy deep down. He was my friend. Had been long before Savages hit the big time, taking all of us along on its rise into the stratosphere.

He was the type who would bust your balls all day on set and nitpick every syllable you uttered, then spend his off hours kicking back beers with you like none of it ever happened. He could compartmentalize better than anyone I'd ever met.

I rounded the corner to the back hall and angled toward his office. The entire corridor was flanked by offices that weren't being used for shooting, most of which were empty. But there were a few used by the producers and execs who spent time on the set. Tedd's was at the end of the hall, as far away from the production noise as possible.

"No, no y. It's J-e-n-n-i-e Kim. Do I need to spell the last name too?" His tone was frustrated. "Good. I need everything you can find. If there's so much as a jaywalking ticket, I want to know when and how fast she was walking when it happened." A pause. "Top priority, Gus. I expect everything on my desk by Monday morning."

Why the fuck was he having Jennie investigated?

Just like that, I went from apology mode to I'll-fucking-break-your-face mode.

I didn't knock as I entered, pushing the door wide until the knob hit the wall unit behind it with a resounding crack. "What the hell, Tedd?"

He muttered a quick goodbye to Gus the spy and hung up, giving me a bland look. "I take it you're here to apologize for that little stunt you pulled yesterday?"

"Nah, not really feeling it right now." I stepped in front of his desk and pointed at the phone. "Care to explain why you're having Jennie investigated?"

His brow furrowed and he looked at me like I was stupid. "Because I need to know what I've gotten myself into. I rushed this, focusing on getting her signed for the rest of the season without knowing a thing about her aside from my gut instinct that she was the perfect Meadow." He motioned for me to sit down but I refused, crossing my arms and waiting him out. "Look, I think it's great that you two hit it off, and I even dig the protective thing you have going, but this is a business, Lisa. I don't have the luxury of trusting people not to affect my bottom line just because I like them."

I glared at him over his ridiculously expensive desk. "So, you're telling me this isn't a witch hunt? That you're not looking for something to use against her if she decides not to play ball the way you want? Or maybe you want insurance because Suhey fucking assaulted her and you're worried she'll sue." I already knew what the investigator might find, but I couldn't picture Tedd stooping so low as to use it against her. Then again, I would have never believed he'd have her investigated in the first place, so clearly, I didn't know him well enough to make that call.

He typed something into his laptop then spun it to face me. "See those files? Recognize any of the names?"

There was a file for every single cast member—me, Rosé, Jisoo, Suho, every actor with recurring status. Hell, even Mino had a file and he wasn't part of the cast. "What the hell, Tedd?"

He turned the computer back around and closed it. "It's not a witch hunt, Lisa. I do the same thing for everyone. Not because I want leverage but because if there's anything out there that needs burying, I'll fucking bury it. To protect the show from scandal and to protect the actors whose fuck-ups have the potential to bring this gravy train to a screeching halt. And yes, the scuffle yesterday reminded me that I need to know more about her, because I know enough to expect stupid shit like that from you and Suho. Your files are full of skirmishes dating back to before you hit fucking puberty. But I don't know anything about her, Lisa. And I need to. For the show's sake. And for hers."

I looked at the closed laptop then back to his face. He wasn't the least bit apologetic, and I wasn't sure I even faulted him for that at first. Then something occurred to me. "Wait, so when I told you about the shit I pulled when I was fourteen, did you put that in your little file?" We'd been hanging out drinking when I spilled about that.

"No. I knew before you told me," he admitted, finally—finally—looking remorseful, at least for that particular betrayal.

"Fucking perfect." It was nothing huge as far as secrets went—at least by current standards—just a youthful transgression that I'd always felt guilty about. But I'd never told anyone other than Tedd, and to find out he not only knew already but had filed it away somewhere for future use…that was more than I could forgive.

"I was still flattered that you trusted me enough to tell me about it. And nothing on that computer is visible to anyone's eyes except mine. It's triple password protected and encrypted so that any attempts to copy to another source will render it useless." He offered me a sincere look, one that I couldn't bring myself to trust. "I would never put any of you at risk, ever. This is my family I'm protecting." He tapped the laptop with one hand. "And you of all people should know that."

I blew out a breath and shook my head, angry that he'd done this and lied about it all this time, but more than anything, I was angry that I'd let myself get played. "The only thing I know for sure anymore is that there's not one person in this business who I trust. Not. One. Not anymore." I jabbed a finger in his direction and told him in a deadly tone, "Do what you want with my file, I couldn't care less. But Tedd… And you better hear me on this… If you fuck with Jennie, if you use anything in her past to hurt her in any fucking way, I'll make you wish you were never born."

I turned and walked out of his office, feeling the final thread of connection to this job, to these people—to this life—snapping as I went.

Jennie

Nayeon arrived right after Lisa went to find Tedd, so I took her around and introduced her to everyone. Suho smiled and shook her hand, being quite friendly as he sent a few apologetic looks my way. I ignored the looks and quickly escorted Nayeon away to find the other actresses.

We found Rosé and Jisoo in makeup, both finished and chatting about being able to work on location next week. There were beach scenes in the next episode, apparently. I probably would have known that if I'd picked up my script from Mino, but I hadn't seen him yet that morning.

"Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt." I walked in with Nayeon only a step or two behind. To her credit, she was handling the introductions well, so far. When properly prepared, she knew how to keep her shit together. I'd simply blindsided her with Lisa.

"Hey, girlie!" Jisoo smiled, nodding at Nayeon in acknowledgment. "We got a new cast member?"

Rosé waved us over, using the same perfectly friendly smile I'd gotten my first day. "Well, hey there. Jennie, who have you brought us this morning?"

Nayeon was blushing furiously but held her hand right out for Rosé to shake. "I'm not an actress. I'm Jennie's best friend, Nayeon."

Rosé shook her hand. "Great to meet you, Nayeon. I'm Roseanne but you can call me Rosé." Her tone was so syrupy sweet I wanted to gag.

I hadn't gotten around to warning her about Rosé, but I made a mental note to do so as soon as I got a chance.

Jisoo stepped up next. "Nice to meet you, Nayeon. Such a pretty name. And I love how you pronounce it with a short a at the beginning; Na-yeon not Nay-eon. Makes it unique." She bumped Rosé's shoulder then tossed me a crooked grin. "Everyone around here has cool names—like these two—and mine is so boring."

"Well, mine is short for Imna-yeon Angeline, which always sounded too grown up. I tried Vange but that sounds like a lady part or something, and Angel would have worked, but it felt like false advertising, so I decided to stick with Nayeon. And for the record there's nothing boring about you." Nayeon shook her head and looked between Rosé and me. "I don't know about Jennie and Rosé, but I've never been part of the Victoria's Secret fashion show."

Jisoo blushed.

Rosé put an arm around Jisoo and nodded, still acting the part of the gracious hostess for Nayeon. "She's got a point there, boring old Jisoo."

I nodded in agreement, nudging our pixie-like costar as Rosé stepped away—probably to avoid touching me as I slid my arm around Jisoo's waist and hip bumped her. "Never had anyone strap angel wings on my back, either." I squeezed her to my side as she chuckled.

"Okay, this time it has got to be a sex thing." Lisa was propped against the door frame, smirking.

"Get out, Lisa! I was just about to unhook Jisoo's bra," Nayeon joked, tossing an exasperated look at her.

"Got to get the angel wings off first, Nay," I laughed, pretending to wrestle with something on Jisoo's back. Even Rosé was cracking up by this point.

Jisoo held her hands up, laughing so hard she could barely talk. "Ticklish…Jennie, stop…gotta pee…"

I took a step away, howling with laughter as Jisoo scurried out of the room, right past Lisa who was barely holding it together.

Nayeon stopped laughing long enough to say, "If this is how it always is around here, I may need to take up acting."

I was looking at Lisa as she spoke and something in her expression closed off. I gave her a questioning look, complete with 'are you okay' head tilt, and she gave me a ghost of a smile, a reassurance that didn't work in the least. I knew her well enough to recognize when something was wrong. I could see it written on her gorgeous face, though she was doing an admirable job of hiding it. Her smile was almost enough to fool me when she grinned and said, "Sorry to break up your orgy. I'll see you all on set in twenty."

Just like that, she was gone.

Nayeon caught me staring after Lisa, but before she could comment, Jisoo walked back in, wiping at her face.

"Shit. I laughed so hard my eyes watered and now my makeup is a mess. Where'd Lydia run off to?"

Rosé shrugged. "Probably to spackle Suho's ugly mug. She usually saves him for last because he's such a baby about it."

"Fuck," Jisoo muttered in her almost fairy-like voice, which officially made it the cutest f-bomb in history. She moved over to the row of lighted makeup stations and leaned close to the mirror. "I've never been good at this crap."

"Here, let me," Nayeon said, crossing the room and guiding Jisoo into one of the makeup chairs. "I worked for several years doing makeovers in a little boutique one town over from where Jennie and I grew up." She pulled out various brushes and set to work.

Rosé looked over at me with a raised brow and muttered, "She just made a friend for life. Jisoo really does suck at makeup, poor thing." Her tone was so conversational, normal and free of her usual snark, that I forgot myself for a moment and spoke to her like a friend.

"I can relate. I can do basic looks but nothing fancy or outrageous. Of course, I've never really been in a position to need it until recently."

Rosé was watching Nayeon work, nodding ever so slightly in approval at whatever she was doing to Jisoo. "Yeah, I kind of envy women who don't care about their looks."

Wait, did she just imply…?

"Don't get me wrong, beauty has its perks. Half the men I've dated over the years—wealthy, powerful, gorgeous men—probably wouldn't have given me a second glance if I'd been sporting a messy bun and yoga pants when we met," she scoffed softly. "Okay, maybe one or two would have. But not the big players like…well, you don't know most of them except Suho and Lisa, of course. They always liked me painted and polished so they could show me off."

My stomach began to turn at her words.

She saw my pained expression. "I know, I feel like hurling when I remember the Suho thing too. He turned out to be such a spiteful, controlling ass. Lucky for me, I wised up, so that one was short-lived." She did a faint head shake like she was trying to chase away the memory. A second later, a sly smile crept across her face and I instinctively knew I wasn't going to like what came next. "Now Lisa…that one lasted longer. It used to get her so hot to see me all dolled up in expensive couture with even pricier lingerie underneath." She made a little sucking sound between her teeth. "And let me tell you…when Lisa Manoban takes a woman to bed…"

I coughed hard, half choking as a wave of disgust hit me. Rosé put a hand on my back like she was offering comfort, but I didn't want her touching me with the hands she'd once used on Lisa. I backed up, ducking under her arm as I muttered a quick, "I'm fine," waving as though the setting spray Nayeon was using on Jisoo had somehow gotten to me before I hurried off to the restroom.

Nayeon came busting in a few minutes later, calling out to me as I hid in one of the stalls and tried to get myself together.

"Jennie?" She tapped on the stall door. "You okay, girl?"

"Yep. Fine. Be out in a minute," I croaked out over the lump in my throat.

She scoffed. "Try that again without sounding like you're about to fucking cry."

"Nayeon." My voice cracked on her name.

"Open the door." Her voice was sharp. "Now, dammit."

I reached up and slid the latch open, gathering some tissue in preparation for the fresh wave of tears. God, I hated crying. Hated it. An emotional tear here and there was one thing but this was too much. It was consuming and heart-rending and fucking painful. Joyful tears, fine. Tears on the set, okay. Even getting misty at a particularly poignant commercial wasn't necessarily a bad thing. These tears, though, they were the bad kind.

And I hated them.

The door swung open and Nayeon stepped into the cramped stall. "Jennie-bear, will you please tell me what's going on?"

"I'm not cut out for this shit, that's what's going on," I told her in a wavering, weepy voice that made me want to kick my own ass. I was so not a crier. Dammit.

"Which part? The acting part? The being in front of a camera part? The dating a superstar part? You have to be more specific so I know which pep talk to give."

Tap, tap, tap.

"All of it. I don't belong here. I'm just not that person. The one who can shoot scenes in front of a camera without being self-conscious, the one who can forget a cast member intentionally hurting them during a scene, the one who is okay with having casual conversations with other actresses where the topic is how said actress used to fuck your girlfriend."

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks, dripping onto my lap as I stared at the tile by Nayeon's feet. "I can't turn off my emotions like they can. I can pretend to be someone else in front of the camera but at the end of the day, I'm still me, and things still matter to me. I don't think that's how it works for most of these people, though."

Nayeon crouched, putting one knee on the floor for balance. I tried not to think of all the germs as I swung my head up to meet her gaze. "Okay, I have a lot of ground to cover here, but let's start with who the fuck hurt you during a scene and why nothing was done about it."

I shook my head, chin trembling. "Suho, but something was done about it. Lisa punched him in the face and got kicked off the set."

She crinkled her brow. "Was that recent? Because—aside from his usual scar—his face looked kinda puffy on one side when you introduced us earlier?"

"Yesterday."

She nodded. "Okay, that one is basically a matter of leftover anger on your part. Maybe you should have punched him yourself—it would have been a great way to get past it and let him know you're not someone he wants to fuck with."

"It's a little late for that now, though." I agreed with her assessment, but I'd been so close to an anxiety attack at the time that all I'd wanted was to get away from the cameras so I could work through it in private.

"Maybe, maybe not. We can cook up something later, don't worry about that. And the cameras are always going to be an issue, but you've gotten this far and you were fine, so I don't think they're as much of a problem as you want to believe." She reached for my hand. "I think you're looking for excuses to bail because of that last thing you mentioned. Tell me what Rosé said about her and Lisa."

Hearing their names together like that caused a new torrent of tears. Nayeon quietly crouched there, waiting me out.

When I could speak, I said, "She talked about how they lasted longer than her and Suho and how Lisa wanted her looking perfect all the time so Lisa could show her off. Then she started to talk about how good Lisa was in bed…"

"Okay, stop." Nayeon tore off more tissue and dabbed at my cheeks. "I can't imagine how awful that was to hear, but you had to know Lisa had a past."

"It's not that. It's knowing Lisa was turned on by how perfect she was, how flawless and beautiful." I looked at her over the tissues. "That's what she's used to, what Lisa's always had. What could she possibly see in me?"

"Did she say Lisa loved her?"

"No, but that doesn't mean…"

"Don't you think that wouldn't have been the first thing she bragged about? I mean, banging is one thing, and we've all done our fair share of that, but love is something totally different. If she'd told Rosé she loved her, Rosé would have led with that because it would have meant she was something special instead of just another lay. Women like Rosé, they need to feel superior, which is why she flaunted her past with Lisa in your face, but the joke's on her because you have something she never did. You have Lisa's heart."

"You don't know any of that for sure."

"And you don't know for sure that I'm wrong," she retorted. "But what you do know is Lisa loves you, which means none of the other shit should matter. If it bothers you, talk to Lisa about it. But for fuck's sake, don't let that attention-whoring viper drive a wedge between you."

"Viper, huh?" I chuckled. "I thought you'd be fangirling over Rosé. She's kind of a big deal, you know."

She scoffed, quirking a brow. "Not to me, she's not. I'm familiar with her drama—the off-camera kind that makes headlines—and there's a reason it follows her. You're the big deal to me, babe. Always have been. And as for Rosé, you go back out there and act like none of this is even on your radar. This is her seeing how far she can push you, not even worthy of a response."

"And if she tries something that does warrant a reaction?"

She stood and offered a hand. "When you find yourself in a viper's den, Jennie-bear, you either prepare to become dinner or you show your fucking fangs."

Nayeon took me back to the—thankfully deserted—makeup area and worked her magic to hide my puffy eyes and blotchy face. She did a better job than Lydia. Before I knew it, I was ready to roll.

Lisa popped in as we were about to head to the set and there was a moment where her gaze lingered on my face and I wondered if she knew. She glanced at Nayeon, then back to me before seeming satisfied that all was okay. "You ready for our first scene? Suho and Jisoo are almost done shooting, I think, so I figured I'd come check on you."

"Yep. Following you." I gestured for her to go ahead but she didn't move.

"I like it better when I get to follow you." She winked.

Nayeon shook her head and chuckled. "You two are gonna make me puke with this flirty, lovey-dovey shit."

"Oh, relax. We don't do this in front of everyone else. You know about us, so it doesn't matter if you see."

"Lucky me." She rolled her eyes.

"Fine, a compromise. We'll walk together." Lisa reached out and threaded her fingers through mine. "And I don't give a shit who sees."

Please don't cry, please don't cry. Lisa doesn't know how much I was needing this today or how emotional I already was because of Rosé's little over-share.

To my credit, I didn't tear up. I did, however, shoot Nayeon a look that said, 'I wonder how the viper will like this?'

She chuckled and gave me a little nod as Lisa and I set off down the hall in front of her.

When we approached the set, several pairs of eyes lingered on our joined hands, including Tedd's and Rosé's, but only one person made a comment.

Mino stepped over and handed me next week's script, nodding to where my hand was tangled with Lisa's. "I couldn't have written it better if I tried. Good for you." He bumped Lisa's shoulder with his fist. "Both of you."

"Thanks." Lisa nodded back.

Nayeon cleared her throat behind us and I waved at her to step up beside me. "Mino, you missed the introductions. This is my best friend in the world, Nayeon. Nayeon, this is Mino, casting director, though he does a lot more than that title implies. He's beyond awesome."

Mino shyly offered Nayeon his hand. "Jennie gives me too much credit."

Nayeon grinned and shook her head. "I doubt that. She's not much for flattery. It's nice to meet you, Awesome Mino."

"Nice to meet you, too."

He was blushing and barely able to make eye contact with her.

So freaking cute.

I made a mental note to ask about his status as soon as I got a minute alone with Lisa. From the way Nayeon was checking him out, I was sure she'd want to know too.