Slowly I awoke from my slumber, still pressed against Severus's chest, still in his arms. It seemed like he hadn't let go of me for one second.
With a sad smile I watched him sleep, worrying about what would happen when he woke up. I was fairly sure that he would try to make me stay away from him again, that he wouldn't accept that we needed each other. I couldn't understand how he failed to see that we needed each other, that even if it put us in more danger, it made us stronger at the same time.
"Enjoying the view?"
The sleepy whisper made me flinch for a second before I looked into the dark eyes of my love.
"Yes, very much so", I whispered and was instantly pulled even closer to him. "Good Morning… and Happy New Year."
He didn't reply, instead buried his nose in my hair, closed his eyes – something he used to do every morning we woke up together. He didn't have to say it and still I knew how much he must have missed this that he had longed for this just as much as I had.
"Are you still hurting? How do you feel?"
"Better than in months", he replied before he looked at me again. I knew what he wanted to say, knew he wanted to break the moment already, could see it in his eyes, but I wasn't ready. Instead I leaned forward, kissed him gently, enjoyed how his fingers dug into my hair, how his other hand pulled me closer. No matter what he wanted to say, he wasn't ready either.
The sudden ring of the doorbell jerked the two of us apart, panicked we looked at each other before I quickly got up and grabbed my dressing gown and my wand. Whoever disturbed us this early on New Year's Morning couldn't bring good news.
Severus was about to follow me when I shook my head. "Stay. If it is nothing we will just raise questions."
Reluctantly he nodded before I left the bedroom, closing the door behind me. Quickly I traversed the apartment, reached the door and looked through the spy hole, surprised to see a big dog sitting there.
Confused I opened the door. "Si–… Padfoot?"
Oddly enough the dog nodded and I let him in, closing the door behind him. He went straight for the living room and when I joined him there, I was already looking into Sirius's face.
"Happy New Year", he greeted me with a sad smile.
"What do you want Sirius?", I returned coldly. I hadn't forgotten nor forgiven, if anything my anger had only grown overnight.
"I wanted to apologise, Liz. I am sorry about what happened yesterday. I said a lot of things I didn't mean…"
"Didn't you mean it? Didn't you always mean it when you called Severus that disgusting nickname?"
"I…", he started and still didn't seem to know what to say. "I was a kid when it started, Liz. I didn't know any better and it seems I still don't… Remus gave me a piece of his mind yesterday. I never wanted to hear it before but after you reacted so strongly… It was never my intention to hurt you, Liz, I am sorry."
"What about Severus? Don't you think he, most of all, deserves an apology?"
Sirius seemed to struggle with the following words. "He does… and I will tell him."
"Don't bother."
Severus had silently appeared behind me, slowly buttoning his frock coat. I could see how Sirius paled while he put two and two together, even more so when my love came to a halt right next to me, placing his hand of the small of my back.
"I am sorry, I didn't want to disturb but I need to return to Hogwarts."
"But we still need to talk, Sev", I pleaded. I wasn't ready to let him go yet, not without trying to convince him fist. "I-"
"I am sorry, Snape", Black interrupted us suddenly and completely perplexed I looked at him, could see how much the words cost him. "Liz is right, you deserve an apology."
I knew exactly why he apologised, that it was for one reason and one reason only and it wasn't because he was sorry.
"This", my eyes scurried to Elizabeth for a moment, unbeknownst to her, "seems to be important to you."
My former classmate understood instantly what I meant. "It is. More than you can imagine, probably more than it is to you."
"Completely impossible", I replied with a soft smirk. "But I respect your effort."
Confused Elizabeth looked from myself to Sirius and back, apparently failing to understand what we were talking about, nevertheless she didn't interrupt.
"I will leave again then. May I use your fireplace?"
"Of course", Elizabeth replied, grabbing a box containing some floo powder.
"Will… will you come by this week?"
Elizabeth looked at him for a moment. "I think I will."
Sirius smiled instantly and I knew he wouldn't give up winning her over, a fact I hated but couldn't change. Still I didn't think that he stood even the slightest chance after yesterday.
"Goodbye."
And with a flare of green flames he was gone.
"Of all things that could've happened today, I didn't expect this", she said before she moved closer again, right into my arms.
"Me neither", I replied and wrapped my arms around her. "Your fireplace isn't monitored?"
"No, an 'extra' I got for telling that lie to that horrible woman when we met at Hogwarts."
We stood like this for a while, before I slowly let go of her again, dreading the following conversation. "I have to leave."
"Sev, we…"
"No."
I knew exactly what she wanted to tell me, knew exactly what she wanted to ask of me but I wouldn't change my mind. No matter what she thought, no matter what she wanted to tell me, I knew in what danger I would put her if I gave in to her pleading.
"But-"
"No, Elizabeth. We had this talk, we won't have it again. We will not have a secret relationship, you have no idea how dangerous this is for you. I accept you being in the Order but no further."
Sadly she looked at me, obviously wanting to protest but still she didn't. She knew it was no use.
"Do you have your watch with you?"
Surprised I looked at her, nodded though and took it out of my pocket. "Always."
She took it from me without hesitation quickly moved back to the bedroom and returned just a few seconds later, a necklace in hand. I noticed right away that it was the chrysanthemum pendant necklace I had gifted her. Elizabeth put both next to each other on the table and took her wand out of her dressing gown, pointed it at them.
"Loquemus."
The watch and the pendant glowed for a second before they returned back to normal. Confused I watched it as she handed it over to me.
"Dumbledore had asked me to come up with new means of communication for the Order. The patroni are great but sometimes too obvious. I worked on this for a while, I think it is ready. Wait here for a moment."
She moved back to the bedroom for a moment and whispered something I couldn't make out. When she joined me again, I could feel the watch in my hand turning warm.
"Open it", she simply instructed me before I could ask and I did as I was told. At first, nothing seemed different but then I noticed a green blinking star on the watch face that hadn't been there before.
"Say Audiam."
"Audiam", I whispered and the green star started to constantly glow and a voice came from the watch.
"I love you."
The green star disappeared again, as did Elizabeth's voice that had just spoken to me from the pocket watch.
"How-?!"
"Say Audi", she instructed me, "and then what you want to tell me."
"Audi", I repeated and watch became warm again. "I love you too."
The blonde woman smiled while she presented her necklace to me which had turned golden instead of the regular silver.
"Audiam", she said and my last words were repeated by the necklace before it turned silver again.
"This is incredible", I whispered and looked at her in awe.
"Not quite. I haven't figured out how to make one object work for several people yet. At the moment you can only reach out to me and-"
I interrupted her with a kiss, astonished again how amazingly smart she was. "It is incredible. End of story."
The young woman smiled at me for a moment before her expression turned sad again. "I know I can't change your mind about us but if you need me… if you just need someone to talk to… use it please."
"I will."
Silently we stared each other for a moment before I fleetingly kissed her again, not daring to do it longer, afraid I wouldn't be able to let go of her.
"Stay safe."
"You as well", I replied and without another word went for the door, left her apartment and apparated not a second later. When the pressure and darkness vanished I was standing in front of Hogwarts's gates.
With a sigh I passed them, making my way to the castle, reflecting on the last 24 hours. I wouldn't have thought that the new year would start this way. It had been more than I wished for but at the same time I was afraid I had thrown Elizabeth in additional danger again. The more people knew about us, the more could reveal our connection. I couldn't bear if I would again be responsible for the death of my love, not another time.
Again I felt a sting when I thought about the fact that I still hadn't told Elizabeth about it, still hadn't revealed to her that I had sold Lily out.
Before I could dive deeper into my despair though, I felt a warmth coming from my pocket and stopped in my tracks right at the stone circle. Confused I pulled out the pocket watch, opened it right away and saw the green glowing star.
"Audiam", I whispered.
"Sev… wether you ask or not, no matter how long… I will wait."