Journey Ends

Chapter One

Anniversary

November 1st

Mustang-Elric Residence

1:00am

Edward woke with a gasp, a scream caught in his throat and his heart racing. The nightmare had been the worst he'd had in months, since the night he'd found out that Hughes had died. At first he was confused, though things were bad nothing new had happened in the last few weeks. Then he realized what the date was. A year ago, as of a couple hours ago, he had become a father.

For most people this was a joyous occasion, and indeed Ed rejoiced frequently that he had such a wonderful son. The fact remained that this was not a happy anniversary. One year ago tonight he had failed to save two people he had set out to save. He had never had the chance to meet the couple in life, but he couldn't help but feel connected to them as the birth parents of his son.

They were hardly the first people he had failed, that would be his brother, but there were very few that he had failed so completely. Again, his brother came to mind. This last year had been so full of new traumas layered on top of old that he had never had a chance to properly evaluate how he felt about them, not that it mattered to the dead.

He felt his chest tightening and his eyes burning. He was on the verge of crying like a child over the loss of two people whom he had never so much as shared a waive. He felt raw. He felt lonely, and scared and small. He felt like a failure. Beside him Yuery stirred as if troubled by his father's distress. He scooped the boy up and breathed deeply the scent of his hair.

His breath hitched because it wasn't just the couple. It was them. It was Hughes. It was Nina. It was Auntie and Uncle Rockbelle. It was his mom. It was AL. It was everyone he's tried to help and failed. It was Strangers breaking into the house when he was six because they thought it was empty and keeping his brother hidden while they scrounged around hiding from soldiers. It war that ravaged his hometown it was bombings. It was watching the country tear apart. It was the price of the Stone. It was Father, and the homunculus, and Winry's helplessly holding a gun. It was trying to help and save everyone. It was being the strong one. Being unshakable. Being Dad when he didn't know HOW. It was everything.

Ed couldn't be brave and strong and whole. He couldn't do it right now. He needed someone to tell him it was going to be okay even if it wasn't. He needed someone to hold him and love him and make it alright. He needed- He needed his Dad.

To hell with their protocols and plans. He couldn't wait until morning, because if he tried to wait until morning he was going to shake himself apart. He needed his Dad now. Shakily he climbed out of bed, and hugged his son close to his chest. He felt foolish, but he couldn't stop the sniffles this time. Nearly blinded by unshed tears Ed stumbled across the room and through the door.

Roy woke with a start, but was unsure of what had pulled him from sleep as he cautiously sat up, slipping a glove onto his right hand. A moment later it became clear what had woke him. Someone was at his door. A heavy but quiet knock occurred. One knock, two, one. It was the code he and the boys had agreed upon should something come up in the night.

Roy climbed out of bed before calling softly through the door. "Al?"

"No. It's me. Can I come in?" Ed said softly.

Roy reached for the lock, knowing instantly something must be wrong. The he paused when his brain caught up with his arm. He asked in a whispered voice. "What does it mean?"

"…Never look back." Ed said, his voice heavy as if he was crying, or trying not to. "and never turn away from the guilt."

Roy nodded and started to open the door to find Edward clutching Yuery to his chest, his eyes red rimmed and his breath hitching in his chest. Without a thought Roy reached out and pulled the boys into his room before shutting the door and hugging them tight. "What is it sweetheart? What's happened?"

"N-nothing. Everything. I had… can I sleep in here tonight?" Ed said shakily, as he buried his nose in Roy's chest. He smelled familiar. Like sandalwood, and sulfur, and Dad. Ed didn't need to ask to know this was the real Roy Mustang, because that scent couldn't be faked.

Roy didn't hesitate as he lead them over to the bed and pulled Ed away from himself long enough for them both to lay down. He settled onto the bed, and Ed laid his head on Roy's chest over his heart. Yuery tucked against Ed's own chest and partly between them but not tightly. Roy ran a hand through Ed's hair as he listened to the boy's breathing settle and smooth back out. After a few minutes, he once again asked quietly. "What is it Son? What happened?"

"I became a Dad a year ago. I had a nightmare about it. I heard their screams and the lights." Ed said softly with a sniff. "Then it was Nina and then Hughes and Mom… and that time when I was little when the rebels broke into my old house and I had to hide Al in the back of the closet and he was so scared."

Roy hadn't heard about that one before, and vowed to ask about it later, because right now he needed to focus on assuring Ed they couldn't suffer anymore; that they wouldn't blame him if they were about to still think. It wasn't his fault. He was just a child.

Slowly Ed relaxed, and eventually he drifted back to sleep, still pressed against Roy's chest. Roy sighed deeply, and adjusted the boys slightly so that Yuery was no longer between them, but also laying on Roy. He started to drift back to sleep himself, oddly comforted by the weight of his boys in his arms.

6:00 am

The next time Roy woke it was to the high scared voice of his younger son. Al burst through the door, he had either forgotten to reset the ward or Al had seen it and deactivated. "Dad, Ed and Yu are gone!" AL exclaimed, before he froze when he spotted the other two still asleep and his dad shaking his head gently.

"We had a hard night." Roy whispered. Al nodded, and shut the door before resetting the ward and sitting against the wall. Roy wished he could invite his second son to join them, no doubt he needed a hug as much as his brother, unfortunately there wasn't room for his hulking form even if he hadn't been cold hard metal.

Truthfully, after a night spent next to Ed he admittedly thought of space more than comfort. Ed was half steel, and it did not make for the warmest of beds. Both boys needed reassurance and comforting more than Roy needed to be comfortable though. If snuggling up to unforgiving metal in mid fall is what it took to make his sons feel safe and secure he'd gladly do it every night.

A glance at the clock told him he was running late. He thought about it for a moment before he shrugged and pulled the baby tighter to his chest. He would be late, or better, not go in at all. He had sick leave, and he rarely used it. The day after tomorrow his sons would be heading north and who knew how long they would be gone? He was going to make the most of their time together.

He lived in permanent fear at this point. At anytime his children could be ripped from him like his team had been, and he would fight to the death to defend them, but that didn't change how dangerous things had become. So far this Father and his homunculi were leaving the Elrics with him unharried, though they all knew that could change on a whim.

Ed began to stir, this being close to the time he usually woke, and snuggled closer to Roy's side. A contented sigh escaped the boy, and Roy wondered, not for the first time, when was the last time this child had felt safe and secure. Surely it had been before joining the military. Perhaps before he lost his mother. Years and years this child had been left to figure out the world on his own.

Roy could condemn those who had failed the children, himself included, but that would do nothing to help them moving forward. Now he needed to be sure they knew they were always loved, and they could always run home to him.

Slowly, Ed's eyes blinked open. He frowned in confusion when he heard the slow steady thump of a heartbeat under his ear, before he remembered last night. He blushed slightly at the idea that he had crawled into his father's bed like a toddler hiding from a monster. He lifted his head slightly, and felt Dad tightened the grip around his shoulders. "Hey, G'mornin." Ed whispered.

"Good morning Ed. Did you sleep better the second try?" Roy asked, knowing the boy had never sounded distressed but that didn't mean he hadn't had a silent nightmare.

"Yeah. Thanks for letting us in. I slept a lot better." Ed said as he sat up and pushed his hair into a messy bun that would soon fall apart.

"It is not a problem Ed. If it was I would have refused to let you in here." Roy said in response. He shifted the baby in his arms and sat up, leaning against the headboard. "Should you feel its going to continue for you the next few nights, this close to the anniversary, perhaps we should just plan to have you boys stay in here… that may be better for security as well."

Ed thought about it as he leaned against the headboard himself and Al joined them at the foot of the bed. If it was just a matter of his pride, Ed would have insisted he was fine and returned to his own room without further comment. It was for Yuery's safety though. For Yuery's safety Ed would do anything even sacrifice his dignity. "…umm. Let's just assume we will sleep in here. It would make it easier to keep Yu safe. Especially if Al were to stay in here too. Al?"

Al nodded in agreement. He was aware that Dad just manipulated Brother into this. He was pretty sure Brother knew too. It didn't matter if Brother was able to sleep without as many nightmares and the baby was safe then what else mattered?

9:00 am

Roy called in to say he was sick. He even gave some very convincing coughs. He knew they didn't believe him, and he didn't care. He was staying with his boys until it was time for them to get on that stupid train.

After he hung up, he started breakfast as usual, with Yuery babbling in his highchair and Ed slipped away for his morning shower. Overall, it had been an alright morning considering their late night. Ed seemed much better in the light of day, though if that was because he had forgotten his nightmare or because he was being strong for Al was hard to say.

Ed arrived downstairs just as Roy slid the eggs and bacon onto the table. Al joined them as Ed pulled the orange juice and milk from the fridge. Roy added toast to the table, and Al started cutting up some eggs and bacon for his nephew. He handed the baby a slice of toast to hold before he slowly started feeding the boy.

Ed piled his own plate high with eggs, bacon, and toast. Roy with eggs and toast not bothering with bacon for himself. Ed interrupted Al, pointing a toast filled hand in their direction as he said. "Al. The book said to let him try to feed himself, and then feed him after he's done if he's still hungry."

"How do we know if he's getting enough then? And what about getting to work on time?" Al asked, reluctant to change the routine.

"He doesn't get to come with me anymore, so if he wants to take more time, let him. As far as if he's still hungry… just offer him some more food once he's finished with what's on his tray. You can still feed him, just let him try himself first." Ed said, before looking down at himself. He hadn't bothered to dress properly after his shower, instead wearing a sweatshirt and cargo pants. He needed to get dressed to go to work though.

"We aren't going in today. I'm very sick, and you are doing research." Roy said when he heard Ed sigh. There would be no point in him playing hooky only for the boys to leave.

"Okay. So what are we up to today if not working?" Ed asked.

"You boys can spar for awhile and then we just spend the day reading and trying to find holes in the plan." Roy said as he started to gather the dishes. Yuery was still smearing eggs all over his tray, but with Ed's nod now Al was also spooning bites into his mouth in between Yuery's own attempts.

As soon as they finished cleaning up, the boys went to the back to spar inside the safety of their yard and Roy took the baby to go play in the living room. When the boys joined them a little while later it was to the sight of Roy crawling around behind the giggling, squealing baby who was running in a big circle as he made very convincing 'monster' noises.

Yuery spotted his father before Roy did and changed directions to crawl to his father begging for help. Ed laughed heartily as he scooped the child up above Roy's head intentionally dangling his legs low enough that Roy could reach up and tickle the soles of his feet.

They continued to play this game for a few more minutes, Al even joining in toward the end holding Yuery above both of the other's reach. Roy eventually had to tap out of the game, the mostly healed wound on his side complaining about the activity. He made an excuse about making lunch but neither of his sons missed how he grabbed his side as he left the room.

The dog, who had been chasing after them for most of the game, happily bounded after Roy and yipped to be let out. Roy opened the backdoor, then sat heavily at the table. He started to get back up when Al walked into the kitchen but Al waived him back down. "You over did it, I'll make lunch. Honestly, you're as bad as Brother. He never wants to admit when he's hurting either."

"Why? What happened? How did he get injured this time." Roy asked sounding both tired and concerned.

"The weather's turning. It's going to rain later, it makes his ports hurt. He doesn't like to let anyone know though." Al said quietly.

"Oh." Roy said. He'd noticed the heaviness in the air of course, but hadn't thought about it in terms of Ed's condition. He rarely thought of Ed's condition as a limitation at all. Last year, when Yuery had been very tiny still, that rain storm that had locked up Ed's joints when they took Yuery to the hospital. Roy couldn't help but worry about Ed being in pain like that again. "What can we do to help?"

"Hot water bottles, warm blankets, pain killers if we can convince him to take them." Al said, humming thoughtfully. "Hot tea and if it gets really bad a hot bath."

"I haven't seen him suffering and he's been living with me all this time, how did I miss it?" Roy asked mostly to himself.

"Brother is pretty good at hiding the pain unless the weather's really bad. It's usually pretty mild here in Central, and it's even nicer out in East. The last time I remember it being really bad for him was the first time Scar chased us."

"Oh. I knew he was in pain but I thought it was because of his arm." Roy said thoughtfully. "I remember it was bad that day we took Yuery to the hospital too. The weather was terrible that day."

"It was mostly his arm. When the wires are exposed like that it exposes his nerves. It's why Winry's always on him about being more careful."

"Yes, I knew that part of it. I've lectured him about it myself." Roy said. "Where is Ed? By now I'd expect him to be protesting the subject matter."

Ed was standing in the doorway with a bemused expression on his face, finding their concern comforting in a way, though he wasn't about to admit it out loud. Instead he cleared his throat and set his son in the highchair. "I'm not hungry right now Al. If you wouldn't mind feeding him I think I'm going to lay down for a bit?"

Roy and Al agreed to watch the baby and Ed limped away as Roy frowned after him. He was concerned about their upcoming trip if the rain caused him this much pain what was the cold going to do to him? At least there shouldn't be any snow yet.

10:35 pm

Al sat at the foot of the bed on the right side, where Ed left enough space for him. If asked Ed would have insisted it was thanks to him curling his knees, not because he was small enough to leave the room. Roy had insisted that Ed take the right side so that he could lay comfortably on his left arm, since his ports were still sore. Yuery laid peacefully in between Roy and Ed , and the three of them were all reading quietly so as not to wake the baby.

They had agreed it was the safest course of action to lock and ward themselves in Roy's room for the night instead of counting on Al hearing something if Envy decided to attack in the night. It was an extreme measure to also seal the room by fusing the door. After they debated it, they had Ed seal it anyway.

The biggest problem with their sleeping arrangements were Roy's injured side was left exposed to small kicks from Yuery. Almost as if he had summoned trouble by thinking it Yuery stretched in his sleep and managed to dig his head right into Roy's stomach. Roy tried to suppress the hiss of pain, but both brothers noticed it. Ed immediately pulled the baby closer to himself with a wince and Roy curled around his injury.

"Are you sure you can handle him while we're out of town?" Ed asked quietly. "Technically you shouldn't even be out of bed yet."

"I'll be fine Ed. I just need to be more careful where I lay him." Roy said in response through gritted teeth, before forcing himself to straighten back out to prove his point. Ed stared at him thoughtfully, not buying his story, before nodding to himself and climbing out of bed.

Before Roy could ask anything Ed scooped the baby up and placed him in the crib beside the bed, then he walked around the end until he was towering over Roy. "Move over. I'm taking this side so we have no more accidents."

"Now you're in charge here?" Roy asked sarcastically even as he scooted to the other side of the bed.

"If you can't take care of yourself, I'll have to hire a sitter for you both Dad. Maybe I'll call Ms. Gracia." Ed said as he laid back down, back turned so that he was still avoiding pressure on his port.

"Brother. You both need to take better care of yourselves." Al said still not looking up from his book.

Soon enough the other two had drifted to sleep and Al continued to watch over them. He could see the lines of pain etched in the faces of both Ed and Roy. He worried about Ed for years now, but now he had to worry about Roy too. He'd been injured thanks to these monsters but he had checked out of the hospital early to help Ed.

Al just didn't want anyone else to hurt anymore. Especially not to get hurt trying to help him. He missed having a body, being able to east and sleep and feel. He didn't want his body back if it meant other people had to suffer.

10:00 am

Gracia and Elicia had agreed to come over to watch after Yuery so Roy could take Ed and Al to the train station. She had settled Elicia and Yuery to play in the living room and gone to wash the dished for Roy so he wouldn't have to worry about them when he got back.

Yuery was wandering around behind Elicia, toddling proudly as he yelled happily and chased her. They were making enough noise that Gracia knew exactly where they were even from the other room. The puppy and cat were in the living room as well but seemed to refuse to leave the boy.

Roy walked back into the house shortly after that, having knocked on the door, and answering a question about Hughes only he and Gracia would be able to answer. She reacted with a similar question, then they wandered into the living room to watch the children play.

"I am considering the idea of moving out of the city." Gracia said after a moment. "Somewhere safer to raise children than the capitol. Maybe closer to West City, out where Maes and I both grew up."

"I see. Well, if that is what is best for you and Elicia I understand and agree. I will miss you both, of course, and the boys will as well." Roy said.

"I have no intention of deciding until the boys get back though. I don't want to disappear on them without a word. I get the impression that already has happened to them far too often."

"Thank you for that. They have suffered a great deal of loss already."

"… It's going to be obvious soon. I haven't said anything." Gracia said, before gesturing for him to follow her back to the kitchen. With a glance at the children he followed her, concerned. Once they were away from the children and were unlikely to be overheard, she gave him a watery smile. "I found out a while ago. I'm pregnant."

"I- What? Really?" Roy said. He had known, because Maes had bragged about it a lot, that they had decided they wanted a second child. He thought the plan had died with Maes, she had to be no less than… he started calculating Maes had died at the beginning of July, because the boys had been down south and he was still out East for another two weeks after that. So even if she hadn't been pregnant until July she had to be about four months. How could she have not said anything? Shouldn't he be able to tell? He tried to remember when her belly started sticking out with Elicia but he couldn't remember it was too long ago now.

"I've been wearing loose blouses. I'm barely showing, I didn't with Elicia either until six months. I found out last month. I really should have known before then, but thought it was depression." Gracia explained. "We are moving closer to my parents… but I was hoping. I know Maes would have wanted it too… Would you agree to be this one's godfather too?"

"Of course. I would be honored." Roy said with a smile. He was already trying to think of the best way to suggest she visit abroad for the spring before this, now he was concerned though if she would be up to traveling then. At least she would be away from the city.

He wanted to call Riza and give her the news. It was good news, though bittersweet with everything else that had happened. He would be sure to tell the boys the next time he saw them too. They would be excited, but if he knew Ed at all, and he did, he would start down a self-blame spiral on Maes death again over it though. Roy couldn't have that though. It wasn't Ed's fault this new child would never meet their dad. It was his, he was the one who asked Maes to get involved. He should have just taken care of it himself.

Gracia must have seen something in his expression because she grabbed him into a hug and demanded that he stop blaming himself. She reminded him that even if he hadn't asked. Even if Ed had refused to tell him anything. Maes would have gotten involved because it was who he was. He never let anything go. She didn't want Roy or the Elrics to continue to blame themselves for this.

Shortly after lecturing him, she took Elicia home so that he could put Yuery down for a nap and get some rest himself. She also insisted that he was going to need help with the baby while the boys were gone, she saw him favoring his side. Roy refused her offer. He had Vanessa and Olivia on call to help him, and he flat refused to put Gracia and her children at risk. He had already brought them enough suffering.