Chapter Fifty-Two

Farewell

A/N Last one, for Storyteller. I was going to do the birthday story but there weren't actually enough details. This one is a bit of a cool down. And you'll notice Xander and Anya are back together, it wasn't actually going to happen that quickly I just saw the scene going that way, I think its better anyways.

Sunnydale, the world without shrimp 2003

Here's the thing, I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming and I don't even think I'm gonna live through it. That's probably the way it should be, I guess I'm sorry. I sorry Jonathan, you didn't deserve to do like that, you didn't deserve my selfishness to end your life. I'm sorry to everybody for almost destroying the world. And I'm sorry to Buffy for messing with her last year. I'm sorry to them all, the people that brought me into their home even though I didn't deserve it.

It's never easy saying goodbye, and in writing this I hope that people will know how brave and strong everyone around me is. And hope that if I don't survive, if they don't survive that someone out there knows just what amazing people they were.

I did get the chance to interview Buffy after these events and she said some wise things that I feel bare repeating, starting with;

Buffy: Andrew put the camera away.

I was reluctant to out of not remembering every word she used but somehow it got stuck in my brain, her words are meaningful. I was going to ask her questions but then I figured she would know what to speak about anyway, so I just let her talk.

Buffy: The thing is Andrew, it's not about how strong you are, or how much training you put in. It's about the people that are around you. I was wrong to assume I was the most powerful, because I'm not, I might be the strongest, but it's because of the people underneath me, supporting me and pushing me up. It's hard, it's always going to be hard but us, our group together, working together, is what is going to defeat the First, not me alone. Willow I mean, she's more powerful than any of us put together, and Tara, they're even more powerful together. The magic between them, it's crazy. We might just win if we use everything they've got. And Xander, I need him to be around, you've seen him fixing everything, and keeping us together. I'm not entirely sure what's useful about Anya but she's here and willing to help.

She paused for a few seconds to look down at her hands, it was quite late at night, there were people sleeping all around us and there was an air of doom sitting in the house. We'd been feeling it for days, ever since the seal started playing up, but we thought after we stopped it, the doom would stop but it didn't. The feel of it lingering around us, it's still there, sitting.

Me: It's ok, if you want to go to bed Buffy, we can stop here.

She shook her head at me, but went back to picking at her nails.

Buffy: There's so much tension, so much fear in the girls, in everyone. They look at me as their leader but I'm not much older than they are. Sometimes I just want to be the teenager who doesn't have to fight the apocalypse, who gets to sit around and wait for someone else to sort it out. Or be completely oblivious. Or maybe I can just be Rona, or Molly or one the girls who has someone else as their leader. I'm tired of being the hero. But they're scared Andrew, we're all so scared and I'm sick of living like that, we have to defeat this thing so that we can all be free, we can all live without this hanging over our heads.

Me: What can I do?

She scoffed a little at first, then she looked up with genuine gratitude in her eyes.

Buffy: Just be there, be brave for everyone else. Put everything you're afraid of and think you deserve, none of that matters, it's about the fight now. Being together, standing together. The best thing you can do is believe. Believe we can beat this thing, otherwise what's the point? Now go to bed, I need you up bright and early tomorrow, you hear.

And just like a schoolteacher, she pointed her finger at me and showed me the stairs. And I smiled because she knew I would respect her authority.

*Flashforward* San Francisco, the world without shrimp 2007

"What's up gentle views? Andrew here, your master of vlogging, I thought I'd just check in to tell you about this date I'm going on tonight. Now, I found him on Grindr so it shall be interesting, it's a new thing for me but we'll see what happens eh? I'll just give you guys a quick look at my outfit for tonight, yes, I decided I am wearing maroon again. Put down in the comments, if you like the blue or the maroon. I'm going with maroon either way though. So yes, about this guy, hopefully it'll be better than last week with that 'fake geek guy' I can't even believe he wasn't really into Nightwing, such a loser. I asked him about his opinion on the designs for the Death star too, 'cos me and Jonathan always used to argue about that. Sometimes I miss Jonathan. The chats we used to have, debates about comics and franchises, trips to Comic con. It was a crazy life. But this guy didn't even know what the Death star was and it was truly awful.

Anyway, I'm like a super, Watcher now, I have power over things, I can do this easily. So this guy's name is Clive, he's a little older, I won't tell you how much mind, a gentleman never reveals his age to the public. He sounds nice and a little geeky too, which I like. I just hope he doesn't think I'm weird, and other date-like jitters I may have. Whoever I start to properly date will have to know about the forces of darkness at some point too, which is always a nerve-racking time. We'll see how it goes. And tomorrow I'll obviously give you a play by play of this evening's events, good or bad. Fingers crossed for me?"

Andrew turned off the camera and put it away under his desk, he'd edit the video footage later into a usable video but for now he had a date to prepare for. The marron shirt was hanging over the back of the door with some dark jeans and smart shoes, it was late in the fall so darker clothes would suit for a cooler climate and thicker jeans. But getting too hot and flustered was not advised. He would be meeting Clive at a restaurant downtown - known for its support of the gays.

He left his apartment with a swagger in his step, with a nerve to dare he was being confident. The evening went very well, Andrew ordered the steak and Clive the leak tart (he's a vegetarian) they even had a splash at desert. Then there was a healthy back and forth over the check, which Clive eventually paid. Clive does indeed like Star Wars and agrees with Andrew on the design. All in all, it was a near perfect night, except that Andrew wimped out of kissing him because he was still very knew to the whole dating thing. Which Clive understood and they stayed up half the night talking and talking.

*Flashback* Sunnydale, the world without shrimp 1999

It was three days before the Sunnydale High prom, Tucker was preparing his hellhounds in the basement of their aunt's house. She was in charge of them back then, the Wells' boys. Tucker and his brother. Andrew was only sixteen when he snuck down the stairs in the middle of the night, each one had its own individual squeak and he had to be careful so that he wouldn't wake anyone. When he got the door before the room Tucker was keeping the hounds in, he stopped, took a few deep breaths and peered around the edge of the wood, lightly tugging on the handle until it opened.

Six eyes immediately shot to meet him halfway as he stepped inside the room cautiously. He could see the tv was still on, shining brightly in the centre of the three large cages. Andrew had been waiting all week to see them, real actual demons, demons in his house. He'd thought it was some sort of weird alien disturbance at first when he'd heard the crashing and the saw the flashing light coming from behind the basement door. His aunt had been out at the grocery store and most of the time Tucker forgot he was even there. He'd spent the week trying to figure out exactly what Tucker was planning but now he saw them with his own eyes all thoughts of pranking him were gone, he was simply enthralled by the magnificent evil of the creatures.

Now, Andrew had never been one to be too evil or rebellious in any way, but there was something about the hounds that tempted him. Like a switch went on inside his head that now he wanted this. He wanted this evil inside of him to expel, to come out and the hounds had taught him that. He watched them for a while, having to change the tape on the tv once the old one stopped. That's when he noticed that Tucker was sleeping in one corner of the room, he knew he shouldn't but there was just something about finding one's brother asleep that is so tempting.

Grabbing a pen from on the pots on a spare counter somewhere, he crouched down next to his brother and sighed rather contentedly. "Ah, my dear brother, what have we here?" He spoke in a sly whisper, making sure his words weren't loud enough to wake the boy, (eighteen but still, a boy). He uncapped the pen and drew a long curly moustache over Tucker's top lip, making sure that the ends curled up like a french moustache would - over his cheeks in black ink. He stirred a little but did not wake allowing Andrew one last penance. He took the pen and wrote 'Timothy Dalton is the best' on the back of Tucker's hand, he knew this would wind him up because it was something they always argued over. It was something Andrew was always arguing over with everyone who liked James Bond, he just had his own thoughts and based them mostly on which Bond he always stared at the most. In his mind that was a form of favouritism.

When Andrew was done he put the pen back where he'd found it and took one last glance at the hellhounds. They were still staring at him and consequently ignoring the tv, which was just as well. He let the stairs squeak quietly as he walked back through the house. Soon he would find out what Tucker's real plan for the hounds was and be even more impressed with the idea of the dark forces. That's when he have the idea for the flying monkeys see? The ones that ran rampage over the school play, but that's a whole other story.