23
By Grace (purplemud)

Pairing: Naley and a bit of Leyton and Brucas
Summary: Nathan Scott is done playing basketball. In fact, if he's going to be honest about it, he's done with living. But one funeral just might change that. AU. Totally.
Warning: Character death. Strong language. Some sexual content in the future. Maybe.
Author's note: I would like to especially thank missmelsie, who has been so encouraging I was able to get this chapter done. I revisited my old old draft and was surprised to find that the last chapters were significantly shorter. HAHAHA. I think because I've dumped everything on the first part of the story that the ending chapters are almost drabble like. And oh gosh, what was I thinking putting that sexual content warning?! I read what I wrote all those years ago and uhm, yeah, a re-write is definitey going to happen. Anyway, to anyone still here reading and reviewing my many wonderful thanks, You have all been so awesome and I'm glad that OTH and Naley fans are still here and still going strong :)

ALSO 6/4: OKAY. I went back to this after I posted it and did some editing and added a few things :)

Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Me don't own. Lines from the show shamelessly borrowed. Please don't sue.

Twenty One

The rain is relentless, blurring the edges of everything. The flashes of lighting illuminate the empty, desolate road. It is a deluge and everyone with enough sense, it seemed, had decided to stay home. It is only them tonight. Nathan Scott and Haley James. And this nameless storm.

Never one to believe in portents and signs – even Dan scoffed at Lady Luck – Nathan didn't think of the storm as anything out of the ordinary. Only its suddenness had baffled him, like the heavens was trying to make up for the endlessly blue skies earlier when they had laid Lucas to the ground. Like belatedly, it had realized that this was the more appropriate response at something so tragic. Or maybe it has nothing to do with Lucas at all and it was just a convenient excuse of stretching his last remaining minutes with Haley James.

Like forcing a triple overtime.

But as with everything, he knows it will end. Even a good game, even the best game of his life had ended. Nothing lasts forever. Now that was something Dan had advocated. His words of wisdom, to which Nathan had moodily replied, "No shit, Dad."

Dan had attempted to glare at him but had instead let out an amused chuckle. The memory makes his lips twitch in the tiniest of smile. There was a point in time when his dad had enjoyed his precocity, probably seeing his younger self in his son, and wasn't that just precious? That is until it turned into full blown rebellion and after that it had been an on again off again battle of wills.

This is probably, in hindsight, a normal part of father and son relationship. Heck, any parent-child relationship. If only they had both learned how to stop, when to give in. Not to have let pride drive a wedge between them.

A thought, bright and surprising, streaks into Nathan's mind: I'd be a better father.

He sucks in a deep breath, and clutches at the wheel.

Where in God's name did that come from?! He had never ever thought of having a child. Fatherhood seems traumatizing. And there has never been a woman in his life who he had ever thought about sharing and building a future with. Christ. Nathan closes his eyes. But what is wrong with him?

The sound of snapping fingers followed by "Hey, eyes on the road!" startles his from out of his thoughts and he swings his head to glance at her, unable to really look at her face, since she has her fingers up, pointing on said road, brown eyes flashing at him.

Clenching his jaws, stopping himself from rolling his eyes and feeling somewhat irritated at being chastised like a little boy, Nathan promptly returns his attention back to the darkened road. It was only half a second, he thinks, although he has to concede that he's being an idiot for even letting himself be distracted by – well, dammit, by everything!

She's what's wrong with him. Nathan thinks sulkily as he tries to empty out his mind. He erases any thought of Dan and fatherhood, the bizarre events of this day and the woman who is now back to silently sitting beside him, shivering despite the constant warm air blowing throughout his massive SUV.

Haley James.

She's practically pressed at the car door, her face leaning against the cool, rain-washed window. The distance she's trying to place between them is obvious and Nathan winces at this.

He can control his spiraling thoughts but only up to a certain point. When it came to not thinking about her, he hits a wall and he just couldn't stop himself. He has sneaked tiny glances her way (none of which she seemed to have noticed, or else she would have already admonished him) to see parts of her. Details he'd like to memorize so he can tuck them away. Like a secret Haley Box that he can, once in a while, open up and scrutinize; treasured objects he could hold on to: that tiny freckle at the corner of her lips, the way the wet ends of her hair are curled at the tops of her shoulder, that damn yellow dress – like damp sunshine – now clinging to her body, sticking to her legs.

Nathan feels a weird tightening in his chest, traveling all the way down to his pants. He shifts in his seat and starts a mental mantra, echoing her earlier demand: Eyes on the road, Scott. Eyes on the road.

One traumatizing car accident is enough, Nathan tells himself so he drives slower than usual. It is partly because of the slicked roads and partly because even this awkward silence between them isn't enough to make him want to end their time together. It feels more like a stolen moment, really. And that makes him both sad and angry. Dangerous combination for a Scott.

He isn't under any delusion that he will ever get the chance to spend any time with Haley, ever again. Not after his monumental mistake of letting his temper get the best of him.

If I like, go to therapy for my issues, specifically my anger issues and I somehow become better at not being angry, will you - I mean, can I come and visit you again, someday Haley?

This sounds like something that will get him a restraining order faster than he can say You make me feel strange things, Haley James.

Nathan cringes at the thought before promptly shoving it out of his head. He didn't think he was the type who would indulge in fantasies and what-might-have-beens. His mind isn't trained to work that way, after all, fantasies do not win games. He is wired to think of the present, every second ticking by, every silent count of the referees as the ball is in bounded, dribbled, passed around; to be constantly aware of everything happening around him so he could follow, to the very last detail, coach's drawn-out play during the huddled time out. That requires the ability to concentrate on the now as it happens. No time for fancy day dreaming about how he could have dunked that ball or let loose a winning, buzzing beating three-point shot.

He is surprised to have let himself imagine a whole assed world of him and Haley James.

Could it even have been a possibility? A life where it didn't have to be this way, with two deaths that somehow connected them. Could their lives been somehow intertwined without having so much tragedy between them? He didn't think it fair, that the only thread tying them together was loss and pain and grief. He wished for that other world and could so easily visualize it. It will be filled with her smile and her laughter and he would have been happy, even without basketball. Just as long as she was his.

And see there he goes again.

But Nathan can't help it.

Tomorrow, when he wakes up in his bed, back in Tree Hill, he will realize his foolishness and he would learn – as everything in his life – to move on from it. But tonight, in this rain, in the warmed cocoon of his car that smelled faintly of rain and lavender and mint, with Haley James sitting quietly next to him, blessedly unaware of his feelings, let him have his fantasies.

The storm has calmed down. He has just pulled up in front of her apartment complex and while it hasn't stopped raining yet, the fine misty rain gave everything around them a kind of hazy glow. It seemed ill fitting, since everything looked all soft and romantic. And here they were, at the end of their story, which had barely even begun.

In his imagined world, the past wouldn't matter. Not so much. He is aware that it can never be totally disregard it but he wouldn't be judged for it. He could confess to her all of his darkest thoughts and maybe she would not have understood everything, but she would not hold it against him. Haley would have looked at him with those brown eyes of hers, warm and filled with compassion and it would make him want to work on becoming better, on redeeming himself.

And that is why he can't let go of her so easily, because she – this, the two of them together like this – it feels right.

He wants to apologize again for the things he had said in the rain. He didn't mean them like that. But he does not have the right words and he feels an apology is inadequate. There are still a thousand secrets he wants to tell her and he could start with how in high school he had tried performance enhancing drugs, but that probably wouldn't surprise her. Maybe he could go with, "I dated Peyton Sawyer."

Let's see how she'll take that! Maybe that'll keep her interested enough to want to stay and know all of the sordid details. Marvel at the wonder of how he and Lucas seemed to be drawn to the same women. Like it was life's sick joke although admittedly, he couldn't find anything remotely funny about falling for the same girl. Granted this happened during the different part of their lives and did not turn into an all-consuming love triangle. Thank God. That would have been fucking tiring –

The way she sucked in her breath and slowly turned her titled head to look at him made it obvious that he actually said it out loud.

Oh. Shit. No.

It is like she has found and pushed an invisible button inside of him and now he just can't keep his mouth shut and everything he has tried to never talk about comes rushing out in a desperate attempt at honesty, at openness at letting himself be vulnerable and completely at her mercy.

Nathan turns to look at her and feels a sucker punch to his chest because even with the dried tear stains on her cheeks, the shocked expression on her face, her mouth hanging open in disbelief, there's still that warm glow about her. It goes beyond being pretty and even beautiful, because it seems to come from somewhere inside of her. He's never ever seen it before in anyone or maybe he just hadn't bothered to look hard enough but with her, hell, everything about her is enough to make his heart race.

"Shut. Up."

Nathan blinks at her. He had not expected that. A constant surprise, this Haley James.

"Briefly. In college." And then he stops himself from adding anything further because then he'd have to confess about how terrible he had been all those years ago when basketball was at the forefront of his mind, an all-encompassing obsession that threatened to suffocate him and that was what his relationship with Peyton had been – a sort of distraction from the drama of basketball and Dan.

Haley stares at him, brown eyes huge and disbelieving. She makes this adorable look of complete and utter shock quickly followed by a flash of comprehension as though suddenly, now it all makes senses to her. She gives a sharp nod and then shakes her head. "Yeah. No. I – " she frowns, scrunching her face in concentration, trying to piece together a puzzle. "Blue Devils. I didn't even – I don't think Lucas – "

"It didn't last long." This, Nathan is confident, is an explanation that both he and Peyton can agree upon. He completely understands why Peyton would not have thought to mention him and their rollercoaster of a relationship when it was time for the Past Relationships Conversation that couples would normally have. "And it was mostly my fault because I was," He grits his teeth and then shrugs.

"Young?" Haley kindly, softly offers, her lips turning up in a semi-kind of smile.

He chuckles, immensely pleased and relieved at how generous she was being. "A jerk."

She winces at this, probably remembering their recently abandoned argument.

Nathan takes a deep breath and twists his body so that he's facing her. There are two voices inside his head, battling to be heard and heeded. The logical part of him is telling him that this is the part where he says goodbye, that the outcome of this – whatever this is, isn't something that he was ready for and it's best that he did not mess this up and just leave it as a one-day thing. Like an epic one-night stand but really, totally wholesome. And emotionally draining. But magical.

The other part is taunting him, You're an adult. Act like one. You obviously like her. You obviously aren't going to just forget about her so don't be an idiot. Kiss her.

Apparently, it had taken him too long to decide which advise he will listen to because Haley has to clear her throat. "Nathan," she starts and Nathan shakes his head because he didn't want to hear her say goodbye. How dumb is that?

"No, wait. Stop." He didn't mean to sound harsh but he can't help himself, it's the only way he knows how to hide how suddenly nervous he is. That a part of him could think he could actually just lean over and kiss Haley was clearly delusional and full of shit. He makes grunting noises, ignoring Haley's muted protests as he turns towards the back, his arms reaching out to grasp Dan's box. It rattles as he grabs it and slowly sets it in front of Haley who has her head bowed down, her wet hair a curtain that effectively hid her face from him.

They are both going to get pneumonia because he's being stupid but this is something that he needs to tell her and it was now or never. He'll just have to make this quick. "Here. This," Nathan swallows hard as he tries to remember what he had planned on telling her before they ended up screaming at each other. "This is - was my dad's." He corrects himself, echoing Haley's own struggle earlier with using the correct tenses: the now and then, here and gone. "It's why I hated Lucas when I was younger. Because my dad had a box of Lucas stuff and..."

His words are cut short as her hand reaches out to open the box. Nathan watches as her fingers and wrist flexes and twists, and he thinks he does not know poetry but her movement all gentle and tentative and elegant and precise seems like a poem unfurling right in front of him. He wonders if it's possible to fall in love in one day, to feel this strange and deep longing for a woman silently bent over his father's secret treasure.

She carefully opens the box and picks up a faded photo. She hold the picture in the tiniest corner, as though afraid that her touch would make the aged, yellowed paper crumble and turn into ashes. It is Lucas's baby picture; his toothless grin and wrinkled face makes her shoulder shake as she lets out a small burst of laughter. She gently places it back on the box, choosing the next piece of memory. She decides on a news clipping from Tree Hill, when Lucas had played baseball for the middle school that Nathan didn't attend because they were from different city zones. Lucas's boyish face looks serious as he squints into the camera. Nathan watches in silence as her fingers nudges all the items around, the Life of Lucas Scott seen through the eyes of Dan Scott, father.

The items in the box are all from when Lucas had still been in Tree Hill. When Karen had left for Oak Lake, his father must have decided that there was nothing more to add to that box, now that he has been cut out of Lucas's life. This is only guesswork. Nathan has no way of ever really knowing why his father hadn't followed Lucas's life in Oak Lake or when he got into Stanford and then moved away (to LA apparently) after finishing college. Maybe the distance had been too big. Three thousand miles. That seemed to have sent a clear message to Dan. Maybe that was when he had finally decided to concentrate on the son that he had chosen.

A tear plonks inside the box, the sound of it small but audible in the stillness that surrounded them and Haley straightens up, her elegant poem of a wrist going to her eyes to rub off her tears. "Oh gosh, no. I'm so sorry, Nathan I didn't mean – did I ruin anything?" She asks in a voice that wobbles with grief.

"It's alright." Nathan assures her, pushing the box towards her. "It's yours anyway."

This time she looks up at him and Nathan feels a calmness settling over him as he is suddenly, for the first time in his life, sure of what he is feeling. She's still a complete stranger to him, a mystery that he has yet to uncover but he knows that he wants to be a part of her life, in however which way she wants him to be. As some casual friend that she will tolerate, who she'll occasionally say 'yes' to a quick coffee or walk downtown. Nathan will be ok with that. He'll be the sideline guy, it's fine. It does not matter just as long as he's allowed to stay in her world.

"Nathan I – " She isn't about to say 'no', not with the way she's biting her lips, her hands already cupping the edges of the box that held Lucas's life in Tree Hill.

"I thought it was a competition." The words come to him, easier now that he has let go of that box. The box seemed to have space enough for all the remaining resentment and anger he had ever felt and in his mind, he sees it like a dark shadow slowly floating down into the very bottom where it dissolved and disappeared. "I grew up feeling like I needed to be the best to win my dad's love. To feel worthy of it."

Haley's eyes never left his and Nathan feels something shifting in between them. The pain and loss and grief pressing together to make a tiny opening for something to settle there. Something like possibility. A chance.

"Dad used to take that box out every time we had really ugly arguments. I know because he'd always leave for the dealership – his office. That's where he used to keep it and I'd wait at home and think, he's thinking that he'd made the wrong choice. He's wishing for Karen and Lucas and it just, I'd get really angry and also, really scared."

Haley's hand has left the box and it sits there between them, an old forgotten world. She reaches out to lay her hand on top of his. Her skin is warm and soft. Nathan stares at it for a long time before he turns his own hand, palm up so that he can curl his fingers around hers, squeezing hard. Haley squeezes back.

Nathan does not know how she is able to coax out the words he had long tried to burry underneath all of the anger and resentment and fear and insecurity and confusion and everything that had made him reckless and arrogant, always so, so defensive. He flicks his eyes back to her to find her still staring at him, her brown eyes bright with the tears she had just shed but her face is neither sad nor pitiful. There's a kind of openness to it and when her other hand reaches up to touch his cheeks, he's first panicked thought is that he's crying. He isn't but he feels the throb of unshed tears inside his throat, hot and painful.

Haley lets her finger ghost against his jaw and Nathan squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a sigh. Her touch feels like a soothing balm, taking away the aches he didn't even knew he had. When he feels her fingers retreating, he opens his eyes and feels the rush of heat inside his chest to find that Haley is still looking at him, with that same determined look that he had seen earlier when he had been trying to teach her how to shoot a free throw. He does not know what that look means but there is immense relief in knowing that she isn't going any where, that she's still here, still with him and Nathan knows he owes her this last confession.

"And even when I was the best at everything, I still felt like in the end, I'd lost. And I wish...I wish I that we had been part of each other's lives, like real brothers." He swallows hard. "Because he seems like a great guy and I could've used having him someone like him around me. And also, because he found you."

Haley's eyes widen a little, but she does not pull away from him and Nathan is surprised to find out that the warmth inside his chest, he knows what it is.

It is hope.

His offer to walk her to her door is accepted with a silent nod, her chin grazing Lucas's box as she cradled it against her chest. They carefully sprinted towards her apartment before realizing that they were both already damp and trying to outrun the drizzle is both silly and futile. They glance up at each other, grinning like idiots. Well, Nathan is sure at least that he looked like one. Not Haley. Haley still looks hot. And the tender way she held Lucas's box made him want to wrap his arm around her and press her to his side. Or scoop up her and carry her all the way to her door.

He has enough sense not to do anything dumb so instead he brought up his arm, an attempt to shield her from the barely-there raindrops. She lets out a low laugh as the sleeves of his wet shirt scattered huge droplets on top of her head and on her face.

Nathan winces but she sidles closer to him trying to avoid being pelted by more water. He mumbles a quick apology, suddenly feeling shy at his failed attempt at chivalry but Haley does not seem to mind. He could sense a lightness in her. He's not quite sure, of course, he hasn't known her long enough to read all of her moods, something he's hoping he could change, but her smiles has gotten bigger and her laughter, though muted, had been almost constant.

She's gripping the back of his shirt as they took the stairs to her apartment, squeezed together at the narrow space. And Nathan, even in that innocent gesture, feels too tongue tied to say anything. All the once smooth pick-up lines he had stored inside his head for situations such as this seems to have entirely disappeared. He didn't quite know how to tell her that he liked the feel of her in his arms. That it feels natural, almost as if she had always been meant to be there. Or how the delicious heat from her skin seeping into his clothes makes him want to hold her even closer, in an embrace that is both comfortable and intimate. Or how if he just bent his head a little, he'd be able to put his face into the crook of her neck and really smell her. And once he did that, he'll likely be very addicted to her scent and he would have to keep coming back here, for her.

Nathan feels the nervous twitching of his heart. He's careful not let his feelings push him to do something that will scare her away; will make her want to take a step back and re-evaluate what this all means because if she does that, will she realize that the intensity of this thing between them is completely disproportional to the amount of time they have spent together?

Not even a whole day. Less than twenty four hours and yet, he had opened himself to her and she had not turned back. Had passionately fought with him, had patiently listened to every mumbled enumeration of his faults and shortcomings.

It can't be just him, right? She would not have stayed if she didn't feel something too. He glances down at her and always, she seems to sense whenever he is looking at her because she meets his eyes. Nathan is never not going to be taken aback at how brown her eyes are. The warmth it held, the way she's staring at him now. He wants to claim that look as his. He could feel her trembling, could see the blush blossoming on her cheeks. She does not shy away from his stare and he sees a flicker of amusement in her face. A silent answered challenge that he would have accepted if he hadn't stubbed his foot at the last step and gracelessly almost stumbles down.

This time she lets out a giggle and it is musical.

Which is something he won't be able to explain to you because his music taste is limited to rap and hip-hop, thick beats and words being spit out - nothing that matches the way Haley sounds - but her giggle is a different kind of music. He plans on hearing it again, teasing it out from her, even if it means he'll do embarrassing, silly stuff like being clumsy and yes, funny. He's never tried to be funny, but Nathan thinks he can ask Tim for some pointers. Lame jokes, he could do them, sure, as long as it meant that he could make Haley giggle again.

This is an an important turn of event and Nathan has to face the facts. He is so overly, completely on the way to being head over heels in love with Haley James and this has to be taken seriously because he has never ever used that term ever in his entire life. He knows about love, after all what he feels for basketball is love too. He has devoted his life to it. He has given it his time and effort and loyalty. And that love still endures even when he's no longer playing the game. What he feels for his mom (even Dan) and his friends and little Jenny is also a kind of love. He feels protective of them, he cares for them, wants nothing but the best for them. But with Haley – it's the same, but also different.

Maybe it's the suddenness of it, how it had come to him at such a short amount of time. And how, despite that, it feels so natural. Instinctive. The way it happened without him even realizing it at first. He had not meant to go to his brother's funeral to fall in love but this is exactly what is happening and it is beyond his control.

He does not know what will happen next. It's all up to Haley. What he is certain of, what he promises himself, is that he will work on earning Haley's trust. In being worthy of her and whatever relationship he could build with her. He is willing to try and be patient and be friends with her (oh what total bullshit!) and Nathan even expects that she will make him work for it. Which is also fine with him. He would not beg, he will not demand, he would not pressure, he will just simply let it be.

Nathan understands that this is too important, too real to rush and risk damaging. So, he will be real careful about this. And for the first time in his life, he promises himself that he will try to be levelheaded and rational. He will take it slow. He won't let his emotions rule his actions. He will have to be smart about this, because God help him if he screws this up just because he is dying to kiss her.

Haley opens the door for him and he shyly follows her inside, shuffling his feet, trying to make his movement smaller, to not take up too much space. Haley gives him a strange look which he shrugs away, hoping to God that he isn't blushing like a teenager with a raging crush. Haley goes straight to her bedroom to change out of her dress and not sure of what to do and where to sit, Nathan makes a puddle when he stays standing at the side of the door. He's a little wary that Peyton might still be here and he's suddenly unsure of how long he could keep up this attempt at being polite and painfully proper with Peyton giving him the evil eye. But when Haley comes out of her room, now dressed in a Stanford hoodie and black jeans, he assumes (and is thankful) that Peyton has already left. Otherwise she would have already barreled into the room demanding that he get the hell away from Haley.

And speaking of his ex-girlfriend, Nathan also has to accept the fact that he'd have to get into Peyton's good graces too, if her protectiveness towards Haley is any indication of how close they are. He is certain that Peyton will be warning Haley about all the cons of dating Nathan Scott and he'll just have to show her that he still might not be the perfect gentleman but he's working on getting there. And it isn't just going to be Peyton. There's Keith and Karen, too. Already a line of people is forming inside his head and he is certain that he has his work cut out for him. It's fine. He is serious about pursuing his growing feelings for Haley - no more cowardly running away.

Haley re-enters the living room and tosses him an old, faded green Oak Lake shirt. He catches it with ease. "It isn't Lucas's", Haley assures him and Nathan is somewhat grateful for that. He's about to take off his shirt when he paused, face scrunching up with distaste.

"It also isn't Damien's." Haley tells him with a roll of her eyes. "It's a hand me down from my older brother, Matt."

Extremely satisfied that he isn't going to be wearing an ex-boyfriend's shirt, he quickly strips off of his wet shirt. It's a little tight, the shirt, but it's bearable and is that – did Haley James just checked him out?

Nathan can't help but smirk at catching her heated gaze. Better not let that get into his head, though. He shakes the image of Haley looking him up and down, her eyes hooded, her the corner of her lips caught between her teeth. Do not go there. Not yet. Nathan has never had this battle between his head and his – well, his natural instincts but he manages not to tease Haley, just stare at her long enough to make her blush.

She clears her throat, probably aware at being caught. Cheeks flushed pink, she wordlessly gestures that he toss her his wet shirt, mumbling about getting it into the dryer. "Don't have an extra pants or shorts though." She tells him apologetically, her face a mixture of embarrassment (in her smile) and coyness (in the way her eyes seems to crinkle at his discomfort at the thought to removing his pants).

"It's ugh - it's ok. It's not that wet anyway." Which is partly true at least. "A pair of socks would be nice." He adds instead, feeling the squishiness of his own feet inside his wet shoes.

Haley makes a startled face, her jaws dropping. She blinks at him, adorably turning even redder, like a tomato or one of his mother's prized darcey roses, and then eyes closed, she quickly shakes her head. "Y-yeah. Socks. Just. Wait there." She's gone back inside her room in a flash and he could hear her rummaging through her drawers. It didn't long for her to come back and when she did, she seems to have recovered from whatever it was that had made her all flushed and bothered.

She hands him a pair of black socks, several sizes smaller from what he's used to wearing but it's better than nothing. He bends down to start untying his shoe laces and grunts in response as Haley scampers away to the kitchen muttering about heating water for tea and asking him what kind he drinks.

"The nothing kind", Nathan tells her sheepishly. He isn't really a tea-drinking kind of guy and Haley answers with a soft, "oh, okay." He asks for water instead and Haley obliges, dropping into it the half of lemon she had already sliced for her own tea. He pulls on her socks and feeling slightly unnerved at how at home he feels, he settles into one of the high chairs at the breakfast counter, where he notices the different kinds of tea scattered in it's own organized chaos. He picks a packet of ginger tea.

"Lucas's choice," Haley answers for him. She takes it from him, their fingers brushing against each other and sitting down across from him, she drops it into her own mug.

There's a lot of things he does not know about his brother, Nathan thinks, watching silently as Haley stars softly blowing on her cup. Their eyes meet and they both share the same kind of smile: tentative and shy. He feels his heart racing and he almost, almost brought his hand over to his chest in an effort to calm it the fuck down.

A drop of water from his damp hair falls right into his eyes and he wipes it away. He shakes his hair a little, noting with dismay at the little drops it made on the counter. "Sorry." He mumbles quickly – the smooth talking, skirt chasing Nathan Scott acting like some sort of wounded embarrassed puppy is making him even more nervous. How the hell is he supposed to sweep Haley off her feet if he is suddenly like the timid bestfriend in all the romantic comedies that never, ever got the girl. That he is suddenly that guy is insane. He clears his throat to say something but is surprised to see Haley standing in front of him, a towel in her hand.

She motions for him to come closer and bend his head just a little bit. With him sitting down, they are almost eye level. Almost. He closes his eyes as she silently dries or tries to dry his hair. Covered by the towel, he feels his face flushing hot. His heart is no longer just racing, it is now performing acrobatic feats the likes of which he had never felt before. He could feel the pulse point in his neck throbbing. His heartbeat seems loud. His breathing seems even louder. He's practically panting.

What the fuck, why isn't this alarming Haley? Because this is sure as hell alarming him.

But she doesn't seem to notice this growing thing inside of him that is about to explode. Her hands start massaging the sides of his head and Nathan thinks, swallowing a moan, this is completely unbearable.

He can't stop himself now. Even if wanted to. But he doesn't want to. And there. At least he isn't lying to himself anymore. Nathan is a little sorry that he met her this way, at a funeral, on the day that Lucas had been buried, with the ceremony and the grief still echoing around them. But he is thankful for his brother and he hopes this is okay with him, because in a way, Lucas had brought them together.

Wordlessly – because there are no words for this - he stops her, gripping her wrist as he pulls her close to him. He tugs on Haley's hand and the towel slips from her hold, falling silently, limply on the floor. He cups her face with his hand and he leans towards her. He could see how brown her eyes are. Dark, light, swirling hues of brown. She's so warm. So, so warm.

And he kisses her.

It's just the press of his lips against hers. It's the most chaste kiss he has ever experience and it thrilled him beyond belief.

She doesn't kiss him back at first, but she's gripping his arms so tight, her nails digging into his skin. It's going to leave marks tomorrow and somehow, that makes his heart hum and thrum, a steady vibration that he can feel all the way to his toes and Nathan has never felt so alive. He feels her stand on her toes and the movement is enough to make him reluctantly pull away from her.

Haley steps back a little. She does not look surprised at all. She blinks up at him and then, in true Haley James fashion, she gives him her fiercest glare yet. "Nathan, you shouldn't have done that."

Yeah. So much for taking it slow, he agrees silently but he's done lying and he isn't going to lie to her. Never. Ever. All of his truths now belong to her. "But I wanted to."

She makes a face, nods her head, runs her hand through her hair in obvious frustration. "Yeah," Haley mumbles and then, without warning, she leans into him and kisses him and Nathan isn't sure of anything right now, except that he does not want this kiss to ever end.

-tbc-