23
By Grace (purplemud)

Pairing: Naley and a bit of Leyton and Brucas
Summary: Nathan Scott is done playing basketball. In fact, if he's going to be honest about it, he's done with living. But one funeral just might change that. AU. Totally.
Warning: Character death. Strong language. Some sexual content in the future. Maybe.
Author's note: Well an update. The last part has been written YEARS and YEARS ago. I just added to it. So the last part kind of reads like the first few chapters. I think I have tied up everything. Sort of. I mean not neatly but all knotted. The only thing that I didn't touch on is whether Haley knew about the Brooke-Lucas-Peyton love triangle/affair and what do you think? You think she knows it? I purposely did not put that in because, I don't know. I think Haley knows but had not been able to ask Lucas before the accident and now that he's gone, what does it matter now? I want to hear your take on that. And if I should have made that a definite closure to that. So. Anyway. The next chapter is the last chapter. And I would like to thank everyone who is still here with me, still reading and leaving reviews. You guys are the awesomest. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. I could never own OTH, although if I won the lottery, I'll probably try and buy it. Lines from the show shamelessly borrowed. Please don't sue.

Twenty Two

It's Monday morning.

12:17 am to be exact. He knows this because he had just glanced at the digital clock sitting on top of a pile of books that served as a side table for the couch where Haley is currently curled up on.

He's sitting on the floor, back against said couch, legs stretched out in front of him. A relatively safe distance away from her. Probably the wisest decision he'd made today. Or actually yesterday.

The day is still young though and who knows where this will all lead. Yesterday is supposed to be a simple deviation from his usual Sunday routine with Tim and Jake. He had planned it to be as short and as straightforward as it could get: go to the funeral, feel all sorts of feelings, drive back to Tree Hill, maybe got some drink to further fuel those feelings – whatever they would end up: guilt, anger, sorrow – he'd drink himself numb, go home, the end.

That everything went absolutely fucking haywire is – well, not all surprising. It's life.

It's fucked up, complicated and confusing. Nothing ever goes as planned and it surely didn't help that it's him: Nathan Scott: Poster Boy for Bad Luck.

Or is it Bad Decisions? This would probably depend on who you ask. But yes, of course, this sort of tangled mess would happen to him. His whole existence had been anything but ordinary and he used to hate that. He used to envy the kids who didn't have half-brothers running around the other side of town, who didn't have to pursue greatness no matter what the cost, whose dreams were their own and not a shared competition with their fathers.

But if he had led that normal kind of life, he would not have ended up in this moment. And this – no matter how strange and inexplicable this is – is just perfect for him. He no longer wants to be normal. What he's feeling is definitely not normal.

He takes a quick glance at Haley which inevitably turns into full blown, shameless staring. He feels the obsessive need to look at her and Nathan has to accept the simple fact that when it comes to Haley James, it is never going to be just a glance. It will always linger and will probably turn into something like Watching Her Sleep, Stupid Grin Spreading on His Face thing.

He shakes his head and tries to tear his gaze away. He has to start practicing being more discreet with this because he is certain that this how smitten people look like.

Nathan Scott, smitten.

It sounds stupid but it feels – he takes a deep breath, letting it all out in whoosh – it actually feels surprisingly great. It's an entirely new emotion for him. This realization that he is capable of something tender. He always thought that he'd be the same jerk that he had been all of his life; needing relationships solely for the physical aspect of it, no emotional ties, no commitment whatsoever. He had been absolutely certain that nothing in this world would ever make him willingly become vulnerable enough to feel all sorts of insecure.

And yet, here he is. And there's no where else he'd rather be.

There isn't anything spectacular going on, just him silently watching Haley James. It is as if his whole world has narrowed down to her. Everything fading away into muted sounds and colors. It is just her. And the way she makes his heart race by doing absolutely nothing.

She has her knees folded up to her stomach; her head cradled on her palm; hair threaded through her fingers. Her breathing is slow, the rise and fall of her chest a steady rhythm that makes him want to scoot closer, reach out and lay his hand flat against her beating heart. But the sad twist of her lips and the tear stains on her cheeks stops him from doing anything that might disturb her.

Even in her sleep she's still grieving and nothing is more tiring than sorrow. It sucks out everything until you feel all emptied out and even that emptiness is exhausting.

He knows all of this, has experienced it firsthand. The first few nights after his father had died, he had felt so incredibly weary, like he had played a whole conference in just one day but sleep would not come and if it did, it was always the fitful kind, no real rest to be had.

So he lets her sleep. It's fine. Nathan can just watch her for hours on end although he has to admit that a small part of him wants to nudge her awake so he could kiss her again.

Not that that's likely to happen. Not after they had both awkwardly shifted away from each other when Haley had ended the kiss that burned and consumed him.

Nathan could still see it clearly inside his head: Haley practically jumping into his arms, her face filled with determination but also just a hint of nervousness. Her chewed up lower lips, testament to how she had bitten it before launching herself at him, golden wisps of her hair flying and tickling him on his neck and cheeks.

It is now officially a mental tape that he will rewind and rewatch more than any of his winning moments in basketball. He is sure of this.

His awareness of that kiss is tricky, though. It feels like it lasted for more than a minute, even though he knows that it was far less than that. It was short and sweet, nothing like the one he had given her just seconds ago, which had been both desperate and hopeful. It was the kind of kiss that was trying in vain to tell her what he could not convey in words, what he could not understand himself: This is too intense. And it's scaring me. But I like you. I want you.

Haley's kiss told him the same thing: I don't understand what is happening, but I feel it too.

When Haley had kissed him, Nathan had wanted to keep his eyes open; to watch her and wonder at the curl of her eyelashes and savor the blush on her cheeks, but it was impossible. He had closed his eyes, hands fisting on his side, trying his best not to grab her – and it would be so easy, to lift her off the floor, she's so tiny – and press her to him as close as possible. When he had felt her moving away from him, his eyes had snapped open in time to see that wonderfully perplexed expression on her face.

And the way she was looking at him, it was probably like starring at a mirror: eyes wide, chest heaving – not from lack of air (it wasn't that kind of kiss) but probably from the shock of it all. That initial contact of her soft lips, their shared breath, the sudden inexplicable madness of wanting more, of needing more…

He had not meant to kiss her. And she had obviously not meant to kiss him too but that was exactly what had happened and now they both needed a moment to try and unravel all the thoughts and feelings that were springing up from that one – no, no two kisses.

They both muttered meaningless words before moving like wooden dolls to do something, anything – quick! He'd managed to remember the towel that had fallen from Haley's hand and picking it up was enough to hide the heat creeping from his painfully expanding chest all the way up to his throat and face. He dared not look at Haley when he wordlessly handed the towel to her and with a meep of surprise or acknowledgement, Nathan wasn't sure which, Haley very carefully took it from him, her fingers cleverly avoiding touching any part of his hand.

Nathan remembers audibly gulping, throat suddenly, painfully dry, as Haley turned on her heels headed towards somewhere in her apartment, far away from him. Feeling oddly weak-kneed (wtf?!), he slid back into his seat and drank the lemon-flavored water Haley had given him earlier. He drank every last drop of it, until all he could taste was the tart-bitterness of the lemon. Somehow, that calmed him down.

He tried not to overly berate himself for his inability to not do anything stupid. He wanted to kiss her, that wasn't a lie. But a part of it was because he feared he would never get the chance and he had to take it right there and then because he did not want that kind of regret. It would have been too much.

Now that he had time to think about what he had done, he felt a belated sense of relief that Haley had not slapped him for being so forward. A slap would have been a small price to pay though.

He could feel the throbbing thrill of knowing that Haley had kissed him too. Not kissed him back, okay fine, but kissing him on her own was even better. It gave him a tiny burning hope that that kiss would not be the last. That he could have more, that they could have more.

Even though she had had hurriedly ran away from him after. Can't fault her though. This has been as much of an emotional rollercoaster ride for her as well. He had to compose himself for both of their sakes.

It's a strange balancing act. The urge to be brave and just go for it. Face his fear. Jump of the cliff. To finally allow himself to be vulnerable. But also, to be cautious, to temper this undeniable desire that he has for her so that he could give it a chance to grow into something more permanent than this mind boggling, life-changing one-day event.

Haley had quietly returned to the kitchen, not shyly shuffling around, as Nathan had feared. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable in her own home just because he had been a reckless idiot. That she seemed fine, still faintly blushing, but calm enough be with him in the same room, it stopped the nervous free-falling of his stomach.

He had tried to stand up but she held her hand, a wordless request that he stay put. Some distance was still required. She smiled up at him though, a little tentatively but there wasn't any hint of sadness or regret. Nathan let out the breath that he had been holding.

They were fine. He can still stay. He didn't have to leave right away.

They settled back to their seats and it was as if they had an unspoken agreement that the kiss would not be mentioned. Not yet, at least. It still felt raw and they needed to come back to before that – a safer common ground to start again.

Nathan had managed, after pitifully clearing his throat twice, to make a comment about the ginger tea and wishing that he knew more about Lucas. Haley had immediately perked up at that, eyes bright and filled with a different kind of shine when she told him she had just the thing for him to read.

Read? Nathan had wordlessly blinked at her and off she went again, coming back a few seconds later, clutching a magazine in her hand. She had sat on the couch and motioned for him to come sit beside her, which he didn't and instead settled on the floor, telling her that he didn't want her couch to get wet. A lame excuse but proof that he wasn't a total dumbass.

Fist curling, Nathan feels the glossy paper that he's almost crumpling inside his hand. Ah fuck it. He quickly smoothed it out. He's supposed to be reading Lucas's story and not being a love sick chump, staring pensively at a sleeping Haley Hames, wondering about the dreams that she's dreaming.

He lets out a sigh, which sounds a little too wistful and he winces at this because, holy shit, even his sighs are changing. What is this girl doing to him? And how is it that he doesn't even want to stop whatever havoc she's currently wrecking inside of him.

Do your damage, Haley James. Go and tear down the walls people speak of when they talk about me. Where's your sledgehammer? I'll even help.

Nathan is actually more than halfway through the story that Lucas had written back when he was in LA. That he had managed to nearly finish reading it is an accomplishment in itself. He doesn't remember gamely wanting to read any story because he'd always thought that they were, at best, a waste of time.

Stats and numbers were different. They were precise, easy to comprehend. There was no hidden meaning behind his average points per game; no need to read between the lines for all the triple-doubles that he had pulled off in High School and College. The Ones and Zeroes in wins and losses didn't need to be interpreted. Stats were stats. Those numbers were collected and recorded so that they could be broken. A challenge to test his abilities and satisfy his need in pushing his boundaries. It motivated him. Made him want to regularly check his numbers.

Literature though… Nathan makes a face, shoulders slumping. All those words, unnecessary, most of them. And don't get him started on the same old stories; always just cleverly rewritten so that it would seem new and fresh and exciting but it bored him enough to actually detest words.

Had Lucas been actively trying be the exact opposite of everything that he was?

But that could not be possible since Lucas would not have known how Nathan barely passed all of his English classes. The only reason why he'd actually gotten decent enough grades was because either his teachers were fans of the game or they allowed themselves to be pressured by the school board to give him additional credits just for playing.

Either way, it had been too long ago since he had held a book or a magazine that had nothing to do with basketball or sports. But Haley had told him to read this story.

Nathan had wanted to protest and insist that she tell him instead. Or you could read it to me. Please. I want to listen to the sound of your voice. Watch all the different expressions on your face. You never seem to hide what you're feeling. How do you do that? Be so fully open.

He swallowed all of that down when Haley's hand had brushed against his, sending jolts of electricity that short circuited his brains and made him accept the magazine, promising her that he would read it. When she'd look at him expectantly, he felt dread spreading inside his stomach.

"What like now now?" That he had to repeat the words twice to make a point made him sound like a middle schooler which should have clued Haley in on the sorry state of his academic career but no, she had looked down at him, an eager smile blossoming on her face.

How could he say 'no' to that?!

"Well yes, now." She told him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. It was an innocent enough gesture but it didn't stop Nathan from imagining what it would feel like, to wrap her hair around his fist and pull her to him as he kissed her breathless.

"Also, that's my only copy. I'm not letting that out of my sight, mister."

"Oh yeah?" His replies were becoming dumber by the second but Haley didn't seem to notice because she merely handed the magazine to him, all ceremonial like. Like it was some sort of certificate or diploma that he had to graciously accept.

He had settled himself on the floor and under Haley's watchful eyes, her stare a physical thing that he could feel, Nathan began to read Lucas's story.

The Unkindness of Ravens.

That's the title of Lucas's one and only published short story and it was – well, it was weird and confusing and maybe this is because Nathan didn't know shit about writing a short story, let alone understanding it, but he isn't going to tell Haley that.

The man in the story does not have a name. It's never mentioned which annoyed him endlessly because this seems strangely pretentious but, again, what does he know?

So, this Mr. No Name Guy, he is definitely Lucas. He is living a half-life in some unknown city that is essentially interchangeable with any city, in any part of the world. This man works at a café and is lonely and miserable and dreaming of a life back in Noname City, Noname State.

Those were Lucas's exact words, by the way and that was Nathan's first hint that it wasn't going to be a straight up, once upon a time a boy fell in love with a girl, then shit happened but eventually after much drama, the bad guys were defeated and lessons were learned, the end kind of story.

Nope. Trust his brother to write some mind-bending, alternate universe that seemed strange and scary and at the same time achingly familiar. Which made it even more terrifying. But yes, Noname City from Noname State is a made-up world but it's Tree Hill, alright.

There's a basketball team called The Ravens and in the story the man one day wakes up as the Raven mascot, and there's a lot of description about dark wings and dark everything. This somehow reminds him of Peyton and this is probably written when they had starting dating because Peyton has the ability to suck you into her world which Nathan resented, thus the many resentful arguments and eventual break-up.

Anyway, clearly Lucas liked the alternative aesthetic that Peyton thrived on.

Back to the story. Lucas starts of as the Raven mascot one day and then wakes up the next as the arrogant jock that falls in love with the one girl, purest of them all, that he could never, ever have and Jesus Christ – was his brother some sort of psychic or what?!

The story weaves in and out of his actual life and this life that he inhibits every time he falls asleep. He switches from one person to another, all of them painfully recognizable because Nathan knows them all: the father that abandons all of his children (in Lucas's book, the children are all nameless but they number by the thousand – which Nathan thought was hilarious), a man living in the shadows of his older brother but having a secret affair with his brother's wife. Sometimes Lucas is the whole team. Sometimes he's the only audience at a father-son basketball game, the empty bleachers a stark contrast to the on-going rivalry at the court. And then in his real life, he meets two women but he can only see them separately: one during the day, the other at night.

At this point, Nathan realizes that this was probably Brooke and Peyton. Which one was night and day, he had no clue because he'd stop reading altogether. Distracted, had glanced up at the clock and then opted to watch Haley sleep instead.

That is why, when Haley finally woke up, the clouds turning from the color of bruises to the dark blue of early morning, when she asks him if he liked the story, Nathan tells her: "I honestly didn't understand it."

And this makes her laugh and that settles it for him. He is now truly in love with her.

She tells him stories about Lucas, the light of the early morning dawn catching her hair, reminding Nathan of how she had looked the first time he had seen.

Was that just yesterday? This is a recurring question he has to wonder about. It feels like a lifetime had passed between them but it had only been a fraction of his whole life.

Haley says they're alike and different all at the same time. Him and Lucas. She tells him that she had known right away who he is, the moment he had stepped in inside Lucas's room. She had seen him years ago during the few Oak Lake versus Tree Hill games that she had attended.

Nathan feels disappointed in himself that he didn't even notice her. He tells her this and she merely rolls her eyes, reminding him of the gaggle of girls hanging around him, all vying for his attention. Nathan begs her not to remind him because it's embarrassing and while he had enjoyed the attention back then, he sees it now for what it truly was: a way to hide how lost and isolated he had truly felt. Away from the screaming crowd, in the silence of an empty house, Nathan didn't know who he truly was at that time and everything had been anchored at basketball, his jersey – the number and the last name that he was carrying.

Haley tells him that she said 'hi' because he seemed so lonely; seemed to feel exactly what she was feeling right at that moment. She takes a deep breath and then gives him a mischievous wiggling of her eyebrows, "And cause you looked hot."

"I kind of knew that." He answers without missing a beat, his heart doing stupid somersaults inside his rib cage.

She laughs, swats him playfully.

"I like the way you laugh, Haley James." Nathan blurts out. He feels incredibly pleased at how hard she blushes.

She moves her jaw, scrunching up her face. It's supposed to distort her face, distract you from the way she has flushed bright pink. A typical defense mechanism that he'd seen shy girls do. She looks cuter though and that she seems unaware that she has managed to look even more adorable is kind of sexy.

"That's cause you haven't heard me snort-laugh yet."

"Is that a challenge? He asks, enjoying the light almost flirty banter between the two of them. Wondering if the change had been brought on by the kiss - kisses - that they were still trying not to acknowledge.

Haley gives him an impressive stare down before shaking her head in an apparent wordless warning that he better not try anything. Not that he has any jokes up his sleeves that will make her snort with laughter, though tickling her sounds truly tempting.

They spend a whole second just grinning at each other before Haley suddenly sobers up, looking around her, as though finally realizing where they are, the events of yesterday and the days before coming back to her. Her eyes darkening with sorrow. She gazes down at him, biting her lips. "Do you think it's ok? That I'm laughing so soon?"

"So soon?" Nathan asks, frowning. He twists his body so that he is fully facing her. She looks so cold and miserable that he wants to touch her. He tentatively reaches out, his fingers grazing her knees.

She shivers at the touch but she doesn't pull away. She keeps her eyes on him and no one has ever looked at him this way. Like he has the ability to give an answer, to give comfort, to take way doubts and fears and that she was giving this to him, this chance to be someone that she can find reassurance and solace – something inside of Nathan soars.

Nathan shakes his head and then unable to resist the urge to hold her. He takes that leap of faith as he slowly wraps his hand around her wrist, feeling her pulse jump at his touch. He pulls her towards him and she slides to the floor next to him, their knees touching.

He takes Haley in his arms, folding her to him, his chin grazing the top of her and her face pressed to his shoulder. His fingers absentmindedly playing with the ends of her hair, a gesture that is both soothing and intimate. "No. I think it's never going to be so soon."

To fall in love, to live.

Nathan wants to live again. Not like the half-life he had been living, exactly like the one Lucas had written about. And he knows that this is the most precious gift, this second chance at life. And he will do it with her. For her.

There are no tears today.

Just the two of them sitting on the floor, half emptied cups of coffee sitting, cold now, by the table. Nathan is letting Haley do all the talking. Her voice is low and just a little bit hoarse but he lets her ramble on about Oak Lake and Lucas and everyone else that lived outside of Nathan's world.

He likes her voice. He thinks maybe, if she sings, maybe then he'd really, really fall in love with her. Like it would make it irrevocable and he couldn't stop himself from asking her when she'd taken a breath, stopping midway about the time Lucas had first learned how to drive. "Do you sing?"

Haley looks started by the question. She narrows her eyes at him. "Yeah. How'd you figure that out?"

He gestures over to the various instruments scattered all over her apartment. "Didn't know anyone who owned a baby grand piano inside their home that actually plays it. Where I came from, it's just an expensive piece of furniture."

Haley gives him a noncommittal shrug as though saying that it could be just that: an ostentatious display. Completely out of character for her, but she's making him second guess himself and Nathan is done with that. Especially when it comes to Haley James.

He will, from now on, follow his instinct. He can clearly envision her running her delicate fingers lightly over the keys or pounding on them, depending on her mood. Nathan presses on, "And the guitars. You've got like, two of them." He nods over the one by the corner just a few feet away from her.

She seems surprised at how observant he is, evident by her raised eyebrows but she still does not say anything.

Not getting the answer he wanted, Nathan opts for a dare: "Sing for me."

Haley's eyes widen at the boldness of his request. "I've never…" she starts haltingly and then realizing that she has given him the opening he's been looking for, quickly clamps her mouth shut, biting her lips.

"Not even for Lucas?" Nathan asks, suddenly wanting to claim something of Haley as his, now. He's isn't going to wait anymore.

Haley squirms a little, sending him quick glare. "Well, no. He says I have an okay voice, but he never asked me to sing for him."

"Would you? Sing for me. And for Lucas, too. I'm sure he's listening."

It's a mean trick but Haley starts chewing on her lips, her eyes glossing over, an unnamed emotion flickering through her eyes. And then she reaches out, stretching her body to pluck the guitar from that corner. She cradles it in her arms and then shoots him another look, a combination of something tender and fierce.

She's nervous, Nathan realizes. He almost takes back his request (demand, more like, you jackass) but Haley closes her eyes, starts to strum her guitar and she sings.

She swallows hard, closes her eyes and slowly opened her mouth.

And then her voice fills up the room, every inch of Nathan's heart until it is everything. It has become his whole world. He knows it now. This is being in love. He suddenly wants to call Jake and tell him that yes, he is in love and it is fucking fantastic.

The song ends, he doesn't know what it is, something about black birds and it seems to tie so perfectly with Lucas's book. Nathan can't breathe, but it's okay. He takes the guitar from Haley's hand, reverently places it flat on the floor and before Haley can say anything else, he turns and kisses her.

And forget fantastic. It goes beyond the thrill of winning a game, of the joy of playing basketball – everything pales in comparison to this. He cups Haley's jaw with one hand, the other pushing through her hair, fingers lightly gripping the waves and curls. And he is very nearly crowding her but he can't get enough of her. And when she let's out a sigh, her lips partly opening, he slants her head and deepens the kiss and God, he never wants to stop kissing her.

When they finally pull apart, he drops his head on the crook of her, breathing in her scent.

Haley clutches her to him. Her hands fisting at the back of the Oak Lake tshirt he's wearing. Nathan hearts soars when he realizes that Haley is murmuring his name over and over again and it is like a song and this, Nathan quickly claims as his.

Mine. Always.

You can plan and predict all you want, be cautious, build stone walls around yourself so that you'll never get hurt and you'll never feel abandoned, but there are certain things that will never ever be certain of:

One, when it's going to rain and two, when someone is going to come to your life and knock those walls you've built around yourself.

Nathan is aware that this is happening all too quickly and but he makes the confession: He wants all of her and he's never going to get enough of her. He'll always want her in ways that he won't be able to explain.

Haley is quiet for a few minutes and Nathan wants to close his eyes so he won't have to see Haley's face when he tells her that this isn't what she needs right now, the timing just isn't right and all the other acceptable, logical reasons that he could thing of – but he refuses to be a coward about this and so he keeps his eyes wide open, waiting and letting Haley make the decision.

She tilts her head and then slowly gives him a smile, tentative but bright. She takes his hand and squeezing it gently, she tells her: It's ok, Nathan. Everything will be ok.

And Nathan believes her with all of his heart.

It's Monday night. He's back at Tree Hill. Haley is with him and he's holding her hand. Hours before, they'd driven to Tree Hill cemetery. Haley went with him, but kept a safe distance, knowing that he needed to do this by himself, assuring him that she was just a few steps away from him.

Nathan said goodbye to his dad, not in so many words but he did tell him that he's going to play ball again, maybe not like the way that he used to but that's ok. He'll play to remember him and all of their good memory. He'll play for Lucas too. And he's going to live a better life, one that will make Dan and and Lucas proud. And his mom too. And maybe even Karen and Keith. And definitely Haley too.

He's a Scott and if there's one thing a Scott is good at, it's raising from the ashes and following their hearts desires.

He then brings Haley to the cafe and Tim and Jake fawns over her. She laughs at them and says that Jake reminds her a little of Lucas. And despite Nathan's better judgement, they all sat down in one table and started talking about their lives, like it's the most normal thing, like they have been doing this since forever and its light and easy and perfect.

Until Tim suggested that maybe Haley could hook up Peyton and Jake.

Jake thinks it's very, very bad idea that must never be mentioned again and glares mightily at Tim for being a massively insensitive dickhead, considering that Lucas had just died. Not to mention that Peyton had been Nathan's ex which Tim interrupts with, "dude, it's a small tiny, fucking world."

Haley is still speechless and Nathan starts to indiscriminately kicking underneath the table, making Tim and Jake jump on their seats.

"No, like seriously, Haley. Don't." Jake begs her and Haley just nods her head, although Nathan catches a look flitting across Haley's face that tells him that this information had been filed and will be revisited in a few months' time. Nathan raises his eyebrows at this but doesn't say anything.

They have plenty of time to go over this conversation where he can start to clarify everything that Tim and Jake had overshared.

Haley looks around the cafe and says she has a friend who worked here before. But she only worked here for a year.

Jake asks her, "What's she like?"

And Haley says: "Dark hair. Real sassy. Adorable dimples."

Tims smugly looks at Jake.

Nathan doesn't have it in his heart to tell Tim that Haley meant Brooke Davis and that there is just no way that Brooke Davis, former Stanford cheerleader, would ever give him the time of the day.

Haley doesn't think the same way he does. "I'm sure she'll be glad to meet you," Haley tells a beaming Tim.

Before he drives her home, they visit Lucas's grave.

Nathan had started walking backwards, hands shoved deep into his pockets, trying to give Haley some privacy, but her tiny hand catches his wrist and he is surprised at her strength when she pulls him beside her.

She's a lot more vocal than Nathan is with his Dan. She tells Lucas that she misses him and she wishes he's with her. He tells him all about meeting her and then lets out a whistle, "Happened all in one day, too. Can you believe it, buddy?" She glances up at him, her brown eyes always making his heart clench.

He swallows hard, silent for a few seconds but the words come to him and it's surprisingly painless – he knows exactly what to say.

"Thank you, Lucas."

In his mind, Nathan adds that he is sorry. That he regrets not making the effort to get to know him, but he knows him now. A little bit. At least from Haley. And he'll get to know more about him, he and Haley have all the time in the world for all the Oak Lake and Lucas stories. He looks forward to that the most, the days spent just sitting with her, listening to her voice, surrounded by her warmth and the light and joy she brings. His very own sunshine. His.

And he promises to take good care of Haley, he'll do his damnest to make her as happy as she's making him. Finally he tells Lucas a secret: he's is going to marry Haley. And he's going to name his son after him.

"Also," Haley interrupts, as though she could read his mind. "He's going to make an effort to understand your story. I'll help him with that."

Nathan laughs at this, wraps his arms across Haley, pressing her to his side and dropping a quick kiss on top of her head. Never too soon, right Lucas?

-tbc-