Chapter 1: Literally no downsides!
"Hey."
"Hi."
They looked at each other for a second, astounded and dumbfounded. Marco held his hand out, and Star took it.
"Are… are you real? They gave me… alot of painkillers." Marco couldn't believe it. He thought he'd never see her again. He… he could be hallucinating. Yet, her hand felt real. And she looked real as well.
"I…" Star on the other hand had no doubt in her mind. "I thought I'd never see you again!" She hugged him, and Marco hugged back. "Promise me you'll never leave my pocket again!"
"I promise!" Marco was convinced. He knew a Star hug when he felt one.
Star started to laugh. As did Marco. They finished their hug, but they still had their arms around each other.
"You've- I've- we've both got tears in our eyes." Marco pointed out.
"I guess we do." Star used her arm to wipe her eyes. Marco used his sleeve.
"So I guess you are real-" Marco was interrupted by her jolting forwards and giving him the biggest kiss she could give. Marco immediately kissed her back, holding Star's hand tighter.
"...thanks." Marco whispered once they finished.
"So." She said as she let go. "What now?"
They looked around. Monsters, Mewmans, and Humans were all present. All of them running away from each other, homes and cars being crushed. The spired domes of Mewni were surrounded by the suburbs of Echo Creek, and the roads that connected them were both stone and asphalt. The sky had multiple colors. Blue, Purple, Violet, (They have a difference) and two moons in spite of it being day.
"What… happened!?" Marco turned to Star.
"Looks like Earth and Mewni combined!"
"Wha- you just assume that!? How could that even happen!?"
Star didn't answer that. Instead, it was someone just cresting the hill they were on. "Maybe some questions are meant to be unanswered."
Star gasped "Janna!" Star broke into full sprint past Marco and hugged her. "Janna Banana!"
"Yup. That's me." Janna casually patted Star on the back. "Good to see you again, you and your heart face."
"Huh?" Star let go then touched her own face. "I still have those?"
"Yeah."
Star flipped open her phone and used the camera as a mirror. Sure enough, the hearts were still there. Just a little faded. "Huh. They disappeared when Magic did in Mewni. Wait, does this mean…" Star held her hand up. "NARWHAL BLAST!" Her palm lit up, and a single narwhal came out.
"I'm looking for a boy narwhal about my age. I'm also gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..." The narwhal's voice faded as it flew into the horizon.
"It does! Magic still exists!" Star grabbed Marco and started shaking him. "I don't know what I was thinking! Destroying all magic!? Billions would've died! Trillions would've been stuck in a different dimension like Ponyhead was! Plus, I don't want to give up all my powers!"
"Huh. That was a stupid idea in hindsight. So, what's the plan now?"
"I'm thinking… we celebrate!" Star shot some confetti out of her hand and put the other over Marco's shoulders "Mina's defeated, we can all be together, and…" Star summoned a magic carriage. "Magic's fine!" The carriage immediately fell apart.
"Uh… you sure magic's fine?" Marco looked at the pile of wood and nails that once was the carriage. "'Cuz that doesn't look fine."
"Come on, it's Star." Janna whispered to Marco. "Unless it's powered by strawberry puppies or whatever, it falls apart."
"Ooh!" Star lit up "I have an idea! Let's have a party at your place!" She poked Marco.
"Sounds good! Though, it'll probably take a few days to plan." Marco turned to Janna "You going?"
"Hm… sure."
"Alright!" Star punched the air. "This party's gonna be awesome!"
"Cool. Anyways, I gotta go." Janna turned her back to them. "The police are probably looking for me after I ran from emergency care to check on you."
"They're looking for you? Oh corn, that means they could after me too!" Marco held his head in panic.
"Ah don't worry, I'm much more of a danger!" Janna shouted as she walked away. "They'll be focused on me, you're safe!"
"See? You'll be fine!" Star hugged Marco from behind. "Sooo, where you headed?"
"I'll be going home. Gonna hunker down until all... that blows over." Marco gestured at the burning city of Echo Creek and Mewni combined. "Just look at that!"
"Hm… looks like your house is on the way to the castle. Guess we're walking together!" Star got off of Marco's back and led the way.
"Alright… but stay close!" He grabbed her arm. "I can handle a few monsters, but I'd prefer if you could help out with your magic."
"No problemo! Now come on!" Marco let go, and Star got into an upbeat skip.
They started towards Marco's house, and on the way they passed through Echo Creek's downtown area. Echo Creek's geography wasn't affected much, so Marco knew how to get home. But as they walked through the new dimension, a question emerged. What should the new world be called?
"Oh! I have the perfect name!" Star said as they strolled past the burning storefronts. "Lets just combine the two names of 'Earth' and 'Mewni!' Let's call it… Mewth!"
"That doesn't sound right, but I'm onboard with combining the names!" Marco started stroking his chin in thought. "How about… Mearth!"
"Nah…" Star looked around as they walked trying to find inspiration. All around them, Monsters were crushing buildings. Fire raged, and humans ran in fear. The police were powerless to stop the rampage brought on by beasts.
One of the beasts, a giant frog, had a human wrapped up in it's tongue.
"Why!?" The human screamed. "What are you doing?! Let me go! What happened to earth- NOOOOOO!" They were swallowed.
"Hm… 'earth no'… earthni. Earthni! Marco, Earthni!"
"Uh… I think names aren't our number one problem!" Marco pointed to the Frog, which was rapidly hopping towards them. "Run!"
"No, don't run!" Star raised her hand towards the frog. "CARAMEL APPLE ARTILLERY!" A dozen or so caramel apples came flying out her hand. The apples hit the frog then fell to the ground.
"Wha-!? That usually works!" The frog started eating the apples.
"Quick, it's distracted!" Marco grabbed her arm "Let's go!"
They ran away from the frog, and the frog chased after them. By the time they had shaken it off their tail, they had run into the suburbs. As they were catching their breath Star looked at her hands. "The Caramel Apple Artillery should've worked!" In comparison with downtown, the neighborhood was much calmer. There was only one giant beast there, upturning lawns and cracking the asphalt. And it was far away from them!
"We could've gotten eaten! You should ask Glossaryck about it."
"Good idea…" Star sighed "I just hope it's not some sort of, 'You gotta go to the forest of certain death and kill a dragon to fix it!' type thing." Star mocked Glossaryck "I need time to relax!"
"Hm… You wanna relax? How 'bout you stop by and have some of my world-famous nachos?"
"Yeah… that sounds great right about now."
They arrived at Marco's house, thankfully unscathed. There was a gigantic three toed footprint on the front lawn, but the house itself was untouched. "Mom! Dad! I'm back!" Marco called into the house.
"Ah, memories." Star crashed onto the couch. "I remember when I first showed your family my laser puppies…"
"Who's there!?" Rafael Diaz peeked from behind the kitchen counter. He had a saucepan on his head as a helmet, and he held a broomstick with a kitchen knife attached to the end. "Ah, Marco! My son!" He dropped the weapon and opened his arms for a hug.
"Dad!" Marco hugged him back. "Why were you hiding?"
"Have you not seen what's going on outside?" He pulled back the curtains, revealing flaming rainbows being circled by helicopters in the far distance. "It's the end times!"
"It's not the apocalypse." Star said while on the couch "Just a merging of Mewni and Earth. It'll be fine. You know this, right Marco?"
"Yup! World's not ending, just becoming something new! I think..."
"Man, I really should get to know my son better." Mr. Diaz closed the curtains and took off his saucepan helmet.
"Where's mom?" Marco asked.
"She's out buying bear traps and tripwires to booby trap the lawn. She took the gun with her."
"Wait, we have a gun!? When'd you get it?"
"Oh, we've always had it! I got it decades ago after…" He narrowed his eyes "The War." A faint, mysterious guitar chord in E Minor could be heard.
"War? What war?"
"...The war." The mysterious sound emanated yet again.
"...I'll just go and make some nachos."
"As long as you stay inside, it's fine." He put his hand on Marco's shoulders. "Your safety is my number one priority. That goes for Star too. Especially after I lost everything during-"
"The war?" Marco finished his sentence for him.
"The war." Mr. Diaz nodded. "Now go make some nachos."
Marco shuffled past him and into the kitchen, preparing to make some out-of-this-world nachos. Star was slouching on the couch, watching the TV. The news was on.
"Ugh, BORING!" Star reached for the remote, but it was on the coffee table. She could stand up and walk a few feet, but she'd rather not. It seemed she was doomed to watch adult things. And not the good kind either. Bleh.
"The havoc caused by the appearance of 'monsters' has already displaced thousands. How will the economy ever recover!?" The woman on the news said with that weird accent they all had.
"Not to mention the stock market!" Her partner said. "Anyways, we have people on the ground interviewing the affected. Let's look at that now."
They cut to another scene. It was fiery, a town burning behind the reporter. After a short pause, the reporter said, "I interviewed a few of the displaced here, and they all seem to have come to a consensus: They hate monsters!"
"What!?" Star sat up straight.
"With monsters upturning their small town, it's no wonder they've been killing any monster, sentient or otherwise, in their path!"
"Ugh!" Star fell onto the couch. "I cannot do all that again!"
After watching the news for a bit, her boredom got the better of her. She got up, took the remote, and changed the channel. After surfing for a while, Marco came back with a bowl full of nachos.
"Your triangle food, madam." He put on a fancy accent as he set the bowl down on the coffee table.
"Thanks!" Star took one and started watching again.
"So, what're you watching?"
"The TV."
"I... saw that." Marco ate a nacho. "So did you talk to Glossaryck yet?"
"Not yet, but humans are starting to hate monsters…" Star sighed and balled up in a fetal position. "Looks like all my work went to waste…"
"...hey." Marco put his arm around her "You still got the mewmans accepting monsters. That's like half the population now!"
"Heh… I guess you're right."
"And all your friends!" Marco exclaimed. "Eclipsa, the most powerful magic user alive, is married to a Monster! The monsters themselves owe you one, plus your parents and the Magic High Commision gonna have to accept monsters because all the Mewmans are doing so as well! I'm sure we can take on whatever comes next."
"And…" Star looked at him, "I have you."
Marco blushed then smiled. "Parents, the mewmans, me, and more. We all have your back. And we always will." He put his hand on her shoulder, and pulled her in close. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, then let go. He went back to eating nachos.
"You know, as long as you're by my side I wouldn't need anything else."
"Hah, Hopefully it doesn't get to that point."
"Ah…" Star leaned on Marco. "Let's forget about all that stuff. Let's just have some quiet time."
Marco looked at her, then at the TV. "Alright."
Later that night, in the foliage of the merged desert and forest, a group was crawling through the dark. In front was a woman with ripped up clothes and a spiked helmet. Behind her, a few figures in brown hooded cloaks.
"Listen fellas, we gotta be real sneaky-deaky like." Mina Loveberry peeked out of a bush. She had mud and leaves on her face acting as camouflage.
"All of you remember," One of the hooded figures said, "We stick to the plan, and all will be well."
"Y'know," Rhombulus was with them, tied up with a sack over his head. "for people called the 'Chaos Wizards' you sure are organized."
"Can it, pointy-head." Mina said, "We're almost there. Put a gag on him." They complied, and put duct tape over where his mouth would be. Rhombulus didn't have a mouth, but he decided to keep quiet anyway.
They crawled through the rustling forest with only the moonlight and Mina to guide them. But one of the few things that was intact within Mina's head was her ability to navigate. She had an amazing sense of direction and a photographic memory, if she ever got kidnapped she could make it back to Mewni within a day. Within an hour if she was never taken off-dimension. The wizards were in good hands.
Y'know, as long as those hands didn't have an episode of insanity and decide to crush them.
"Stop!" She held her fist up. "We're here."
They were at the edge of a clearing. In the clearing was a building, the few guards half asleep and the only light coming from dim torches.
They had lowered onto their stomachs, now crawling forwards. "So." The lead chaos wizard looked at the building, "That is the prison of the… Dark Lord?"
"Yup-diddly-doo!"
"I thought it'd me more… prison-y."
"A millennia of no escape attempts means ya don't need all the bells and whistles. Besides, he's been crystallized for centuries!"
"Not for long. So, what's the plan to break into- wait what're you doing!?" The wizard was surprised as Mina stood up and nonchalantly walked into the clearing. She approached one of the guards.
"Hiya! Wake up!" Mina snapped her fingers at the guard.
"Uh- ah!" The guard readied his spear "It's the Solarian!" The guards were quick, surrounding her and readying their weapons.
"Ah lighten up, will ya?"
"You wreaked havoc on Mewni! You lead an attack on the Queen! You tried to commit mass genocide through cliff!"
"...I'm really sorry?" Mina shrugged. "And it wasn't genocide! It was pest control!"
"Arrest her!"
"Welp, so much for diplomacy!" Mina transformed into her warrior form, giant and muscular. With one swing she sent most of the guards flying. Then she pounded the ground, throwing the remaining guards off-balance. With that, those who didn't run were easily beat up.
"Alrighty-tighty!" Mina turned back to normal. Well, 'normal' in her special way. "Guards are down!"
"Oh thank corn." The wizards got out of hiding.
"Your Dark Lord or whatever's in here!" Mina broke the lock with her bare hands.
"So…" The lead wizard put his hand on the handle. "On the other side of this door is who we're looking for. Be quiet." He opened the door, and revealed what they've been looking for.
Within crystal stasis, lay a figure. It had dark spiky armor, and no skin could be seen exposed. They couldn't even make out any facial features, the armour was that dense. Instead of a terrified pose most people had when crystallized, this one had a more graceful pose. Yet, it was different from Eclipsa's when she had been imprisoned. This pose was more patient, more methodical.
"Rhombulus." The lead wizard said "Bring me Rhombulus."
Rhombulus was carried in by two wizards and dropped in front of the crystal. They took off the sack and ripped the duct tape off. "Oh corn… you want me to-"
"Yes." The wizard casually said.
"I… Do you know what it could do?!" Rhombulous pointed to the crystalized prisoner.
"Yes. That is precisely why we are setting him free."
"He... it could destroy all magic! Like, for reals this time!" Rhombulus looked around to find an escape route, but he was surrounded. "And it'll do it much more violently than Star!"
"Set him free, or you die."
"Do it! Kill me!" Rhombulus said, "I can't set it free!"
"...your choice. Mina?"
"Alright!" Mina started to transform.
"Wait, wait, wait! I didn't think you'd actually do it! Ha ha ha..." Rhombulus let out a panicked laugh. "I'll… I'll free it." He said defeated.
"Good choice."
Rhombulus put his hands on his temples and casted a beam from his head onto the crystal. It slowly melted. From the black crown of cosmic power, to the spiky pauldrons of pacification. From the chestplate of chaos, to the waistplate of waste. From the leg armor of legions, to the shoes of sure-fire annihilation.
For a few seconds it just stood there. Perhaps regaining consciousness, perhaps taking in fresh air after being trapped in crystal for three centuries. Or perhaps it was just dead, and the body was propped up due to the sheer amount of metal on its body.
But then it's head jolted up.
"...Dark Lord?"
It nodded yes.
"Can… can you talk?"
"Give us a speech!"
"Yeah, give us a speech!"
The wizards started chanting, 'Speech! Speech! Speech!' Mina got in on it too. But they were silenced as it suddenly raised it's hand.
It had a gravelly voice, dark and commanding. "And lo… After centuries of crystalline imprisonment… I am free once more! Cosmic hatred flows through my veins! My body is ready to set Mewni ablaze! The Multiverse shall tremble before my very name! My name… DARK LORD KRISTALLIAC!"
The wizards were frozen in shock. But after that shock subsided, there was celebration. They cheered.
"YEAH!"
"WOO!"
"WE DID IT!"
"Now," Kristalliac raised his hand in a fist. "My era- no, our era is nigh! The era of magic is over! This new era, an era where Mewni shall fall, an era where the Butterflys shall die, an era where my destiny shall be TRULY REALIZED! I shall be the vanguard of this new eon, and all shall bow to ME!"
"Man." Mina said. "You really need to work on your public image."